by Lisa James
My name is Steven, or at least it was. I was 15 and half way through my 4th year at high school when my life changed forever - in a very bad way. It was mid april, monday morning and I arrived at school on the bus. Hopping off I noticed a car pull up and a girl get out. She was very pretty, but seemed quite upset as she got out of the car and began to walk up the path. She was new, I had not seen her before. I watched her, noticing how sexy she looked in her short school dress. Her chest was distended by two grapefruit sized breasts that bounced gently as she walked. My eyes locked onto hers and I could see she had been crying. Her eyes dropped to her breasts and her mouth curved into a frown. I smiled at her but she did not see as she walked quickly past and into the crowd.
There was something unusual about the girl, something that I would later understand in intimate detail. I did not see her at any of our morning lessons. After morning break I was on my way to my next lesson when I saw her again - heading for the toilets. She walked straight past the girls toilet and into the boys toilet. Strangely, a moment later she came back out looking angry and for some reason she grabbed her crotch through her dress and let out a strange soft wail as she walked into the girls toilet. Weird I thought, but I did like her touching herself and I imagined what it might be like for me to touch her between her legs, to feel her girlhood directly in my hand. I began to get an errection, daydreaming, when the warning bell told me I needed to get to class quickly.
After lunch was a sport lesson. I had been excused so that I could go to the library and catch up on my Geography for a forthcoming exam. The library was rather deserted and I took a place in the Geography aisle up the back of one of the long stacks and sat on the floor, pulling the books I needed around myself. I was deep in thought, reading when I heard a noise in the next aisle. Peering through the gaps in the books I was surprised to find the new girl was in the next aisle, pulling books from the shelf and placing them on the floor. I could see that the books were anatomy titles and titles on sex and puberty. The girl had a haunted look on her face and she looked around, unaware that I could see her, before she spread her legs - hitching her short dress high.
I had a virtually instant hard on! I could see her panties and the shape of her vulva beneath in intimate detail! She stared at her girlhood and grabbed her panty covered mound in her hand. Her face had a look of grief and again she gave a quiet scream as she felt her cunt, massaging her girlhood in her hand. I heard her quietly say 'Why me?.... I hate this feeling! Ohh... Why? Why?....' as tears began to leak from her eyes. She regained some composure and began to flick through one of the books on sex education, until she had it open at a page that had a drawing of a girl's genitals, both front on and in cross section. She stared at the pictures with something close to lotheing on her face, then she lifted her hips and began to pull her panties off, throwing them so that they lodged in the bookshelf near me. I was thinking her behavious was bizarre, but I was so turned on by the sight of this gorgeous girl and her strikingly female private parts that I couldnt take my eyes off her.
Having removed her panties, she spread her legs again and this time I got an amazingly intimate view of her vulva. I could see just how flat it was compared to my own boys genitals. I could see the lips of her labia split her body from near her arse to where her dick would have been - were she a boy. It was such an amazingly sexual sight. As she parted her legs further I saw her vulva lips pull apart and she shuddered as if in shock, giving a small gasp. 'I hate this!!! Oh god I hate being a girl! I cant bear the feeling!' she quietly moaned. I was shocked to hear these words. Why would such a gorgeous girl say that? But then I was glad that I had a dick, not a cunt between my legs!
She stared at the drawing of the girl's anatomy and then glanced between her own legs. She grabbed her cunt again with one of her hands and began to trace a finger up and down her labia lips, gasping and almost sobbing as she did. She stared again at the drawings and her hand made a slow path down her slit to where I guessed her vagina began. Her fingers were inside her lips and she had a pained look of grief as one of her fingers actually pushed deeper inside - actually inside her vagina. I had such a hard on, it was so amazing to watch and I tried to imagine what it must have felt like for her to have a finger inside a hole between her legs. Her finger began to slide in and out and I knew then that she was going to masturbate! Soft moans escaped her lips and she began softly talking again about how she hated her body, how she hated the sensations of her cunt. Her hand began rubbing her vulva more frantically, she alternately squeezed her flat mound, rubbed her vulva with the palm of her hand (concentrating pressure near the front where I knew her clitoras was) and occasionally she would dive a finger or three into her vagina. This bizarre masturbation and behaviour continued for several minutes until she came. This time she did scream more loudly 'God no!!! Please no!!! Ohhhh!! Its swallowing!!! Please no!!!! I cant bear it!!!! Why? Why me!!! I hate this body! I hate being a girl!' As a final gesture she closed her legs and grabbed her breasts through her dress and seemed almost to be trying to pull them off! 'No! no!!! theyre throbbing too! no!!! get off my body!!! get off!!!'
I was so turned on by the intimate show that I actually came myself! Despite the girls bizarre talk and behaviour I was left breathless by the intimate show she had put on. At that moment I heard a noise. It was the librarian calling out 'What's going on back there! whats all that noise!'. I heard footsteps approaching and the new girl looked startled. She grabbed her panties and wiped her wet cunt with the panties before hurriedly throwing them aside again. She closed her legs, stood up and pulled her dress back down. She quickly pushed the books into a pile then darted off down an aisle to disappear. The librarian was walking down the aisl where ther girl was previously, still calling out 'Who's there?'. I didnt want to get accused of making all that noise, so I got up as well. Seeing the girls panties on the shelf, I pushed my hand through and grabbed them, stuffing them into my pocket before I too fled.
I left the library and entered the school yard. I couldnt see the new girl anywhere. Looking around I realised I had to go to the toilet, so I walked to the nearest one and into a cubicle. The boys toilet was deserted. My dick was still fairly large from my former errection, and it was still quite tingly and aroused. I had trouble peeing as my dick was not flacid enough to aim correctly. After peeing I was struck by a bizarre thought. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the girls' panties. They were still damp with her orgasmic juices. They were light blue bikini style cotton panties with the looped elastic edges. They looked very sexy and I decided that I wanted to put them on! I unzipped and dropped my pants and pulled my own underpants down. I unfurled the panties and slipped one leg through one of the leg holes. I was having a bizarre kind of fantasy - imagining that I was that girl, pulling panties on and trying to imagine what it might feel like to be a girl, to have a vulva and no penis or balls. Slipping my leg through the otherleg hole I watched as I pulled the panties up my legs. They felt sensuous and erotic as they slid up my legs, they crotch damp. I pulled them on and found they did not fit too well of course - they were not designed to house the bulge of my balls or penis, especially my quite errect penis. Closing my eyes I tried to imagine what it would be like to be that girl, how her cunt would feel, how the sensation of these panties cupping her girlhood would feel. I began to rub my penis shaft, then decided I would take the fantasy further and pretend I was a girl, so I began to rub my dick through the panties. I was so aroused at the thought of wearing this girls' panties and at imagining myself to be a girl that I came very quickly. I had rubbed myself so firmly that I actually abraded the skin away on my dick in one place and it was quite sore to touch. The damp panties were quite soothing to the abrasion however. I felt so strangely sexy in the panties that I decided to leave them on, pulling my boys underpants up my legs and over the girls ones. I had to do some pulling and placing of my dick and balls to get them to fit within the panties. Pulling my trousers on, I smiled at the thought that I alone would know I had panties on.
The rest of the day went quite quickly and, although I had to frequently adjust my dick and balls to stop the confined space of the girls panties from causing discomfort, I did enjoy the private fantasy. I did not see the girl again all day, and I caught the bus home as usual. I was an only child and my dad usually worked late, so I went to my room and spent another hour engaged in the same apnty fantasy, masturbating twice and checking out myself in the panties from various angles imagining myself to be a girl. After eating dinner with my dad (with the panties still on), I went to my room to do my homework before going to bed. For some reason I was beginning to feel tired and I recognized that feeling as the one I normally got before I got the flu. Before going to bed I finally snuck the panties off and began to feel foolish and annoyed at my bizarre sexual fantasy. Deciding that I much preferred being a boy, I threw the panties in the bottom of one of my drawers and decided to leave them there!
That night was a shocker! I began feeling quite ill with night shakes and the sore-in-the-bones feeling that you get with full blown flu. My head ached and felt sick inside. I got up several times to take large quantities of pain killer. What little sleep I had was insufficient to prevent me feling terrible and exhausted in the morning. My dad checked in on me and declaring me to 'look like shit', told me to stay home. At the time I thought that this was the worst flu I had ever had and it lasted for a full 4 days of pain and misery! By day 5 I was feeling better and, although I stayed indoors, I at least did not feel like I was dying any more. By day six I was well enough to have some mates over and we played nintento for much of the day.
The next day was another monday, and it was back to school. I felt mostly fine but still a bit weak. One good things was that I saw the new girl again and this time managed to work up the courage to say hello. She seemed shy and quite standoffish, yet she did tell me her name... Fiona. She seemed very self concious, frequently staring down at her breasts and straightening her dress often in a nervous way. I was of course undressing her with my eyes, remembering vividly her masturbation in the library, her curvaceous bald cunt and her bizarre comments about her body. The bell rang and I said goodbye and left for class. The day went in a rush, and I was still feeling tired from my illness. Going home that afternoon I went to my room with the intention of getting out Fiona's panties again. My dad was not home yet, so I was alone. I stripped and pulled the panties out from the drawer. Seeing them again made my penis begin to tingle, and as I pulled it up my legs the tingling grew. I was feeling quite hot, but strangely my penis did not begin to engorge. I felt hot and horny, yet my dick just stayed limp! It was very alarming and frustrating. Despite my lack of errection I was stil able to achieve an orgasm by rubbing my flaccid dick through the panties. It was a very strange orgasm, it did not feel right somehow, yet it was very powerful and for some reason my small nipples also began to tingle as I approached and reached orgasm. Touching my flaccid penis through the fabric I could much more easily imagine being a girl with no dick as I came. The tingling of my nipples was quite erotic but completely alien to me. My inability to get an errection was even stranger. I pulled the panties down and examined my dick and balls. I noticed then that they were hairless! My sparse pubic hair was gone! I guessed that it must have been some temporary side effect of my bad flu and so put the though aside and got on with my homework.
After my dad came home we ate and watched tv. I wanted to ask him about my errection but was too embarrased so I went to bed early and fell asleap. The next morning I woke early, still feeling strange. My stomach was a bit tender to touch and when I tried to get my cock erect I found it would not cooperate. I went to the bathroom and started the shower, what I needed was a good hot wash. I stood under the shower and began to wash, first my arms then my legs, moving up with the soap I lathered up my dick. It tingled in a strange way and as I touched it I felt my nipples tingle again. It was such a strange feeling that my hands moved up to my chest and touched them. What I found chilled me to the bone! Beneath my nipples I could feel small lumps, about the size of a small date. My first thought was of cancer! I knew that breast cancer was uncommon but not heard of in boys, so I became instantly worried. I got out of the shower and dried off then went to tell my dad what I had found. He too looked worried and said we would go to the doctor straight away.
I dressed and we got in dads car and headed for my local doctor. I was very nervous as we waited and then even more so as my name was called out. The doctor asked what was wrong and I told him I found two lumps, one under each nipple. Taking my shirt off he felt the lumps making 'Hmmmmm' kind of sounds as he did so. He then asked if there was anything else wrong with me, any other symptoms. I looked sheepishly at my dad and then told him that I couldnt get an erection any more, and that my pubic hair had fallen out. The doctor seemed to pay much more attention now, in fact he even looked a bit worried, which did not help how I was feeling. He then asked me if I had been sick recently and I told him that I had been very sick with the flu last week. The doctor then said he would need to take a blood sample and asked us to come back the next day. He offered no explanation as to my condition before we left, saying that the tests were better than speculation.
That day I stayed home, feeling worried and half heartedly watching tv. My nipples and the lumps beneath were actually sore, and I had this strange tingly feeling in my dick and balls. My stomach was still tender and felt like it was churning inside. Even my skin felt weird, my face was feeling strange to touch. I kept looking at the horrid lumps, touching them and praying I did not have cancer. I also looked frequently at my dick and balls, the strange tingling was very off putting. I could have sworn that the lumps were getting bigger...
At 3 Oclock my dad called and said that the doctor wanted to see me. He swung past to pick me up and I began getting really worried. I sat in silence as we drove and when we arrived the doctor took me in straignt away. He had an odd expression as he asked me and my dad to sit down.
'The tests have confirmed my suspicions, and I need to tell you what we have found' he said
'Have I got cancer! Am I going to die!' I blurted out...
The doctor looked at me with sympathetic eyes before saying 'no - you dont have cancer... In fact what you do have could well have you living a longer life than you would have before.... I need you to be brave however, your life is about to change'
I gasped and said 'what is wrong!'
'That flu you had recently was not flu.. It was a very rare virus that some suspect was man made called the X-Virus. It only affects males. The virus is a viral form of the human X Chromosome... When the virus invades a male body it enters a cell and destroys the Y Chromosome, replacing it with an X Chromosome from the virus... It then makes 2 copies and leaves the cell without killing the cell. Its called a retrovirus, it basically reprograms your cells...' the doctor said leaving his words hanging in the air...
'What do you mean?' said my dad 'my son's cells are now XX, not Xy?'
'Exactly... your son now has female cells, and those lumps on Stevens chest are in fact forming breasts.'
'No!' I yelled 'Well give me something! I dont want breasts!'
'I am sorry, there is nothing to give you... your body is following its programming. I hate to tell you this, but your changes wont just be limited to growing breasts'
'What!' I said shell-shocked
'Do you mean to say that my son is going to become.... a....'
'Girl...' said the doctor
'No! You cant be serious, I dont want to be a girl! I dont want a cunt! Please! do something!' I screetched
'I am sorry Steven, but so far no patient has failed to change, you will have to get used to it, you are going to become a girl, you are going to loose your penis and scrotum and you are going to grow a vulva, a vagina and breasts' the doctor said slowly
I just broke down and cried, thinking of that girl from school and suddenly connecting the horrific dots. The girl from school was also a victim to the X-Virus. She was so lothing of her body because she was previously a boy, and she hated her breasts and her cunt!
How could this happen to me I wondered? Then it dawned on me! Her panties! Those panties that I pulled on must have had the virus in the dampness that came from her cunt! I infected myself when I pretended to be a girl... Now I would know first hand what it felt like to have a flat-lipped void between my legs. I was shuddering at the thought that I would soon be able to feel a slit between my legs and even stick my finger inside a vagina between my own legs. The shock was too much, and so I passed out.
I woke up and found I was back in my dads car, slumped in my seat. I was in deep shock, trembling with the news I had just been given. I cast an eye towards my chest where I could see two puffy litle lumps pushing my t-shirt out where my breasts were growing. My dad said 'what a shock.... how are you coping?'
I began to cry again and began blubbing that I didnt want to become a girl. I told him what had happened at the library and even about the discarded panties from the girl who I had watched in the library and how I thought that I had caught the virus from the fluid on those panties. I told him how the girl seemed to hate her body and genitals, and that I thought that was because she had become a girl herself. 'She hated her body dad! I think I will hate being a girl too!' I sobbed
'Why? Half of the world is female, it cant be that bad' Dad said plaintively
'No dad! Imagine loosing your cock, your balls! It must feel so flat between your legs, so empty! Why else would there be penis envy! What about breasts, so big and heavy, everyone stares at them, they bounce around when girls run! What about periods! Oh god! What about pregnancy - giving birth! Oh dad please do something!... That girl... when she stuck a finger inside herself! You should have seen the look on her face - it was horror! THAT WILL BE ME!!!!!' I screamed at him
After that we both sat in silence, me in shock, taking note of all the sensations I was feeling and feeling very sad and angry. My dad said nothing, but I could tell he was very upset for me. As we drove I noticed every billboard and news stand that we passed - many of them had photos of girls in bikinis, their curvaceous crotches so obviously advertising the shape of their genitals. I grabbed between my own legs in a pathetic act of protection, grabbing my cock and balls. They felt smaller in my hands than I remembered and so I began to cry again. My cock was still tingling and my forming breasts were sore and occasionally throbbing. I felt like I was in a nightmare. As we got out of the car, my dad told me we were to see a specialist doctor in the morning.
We got home and I just went to my room. I pulled out the damned panties that had done this thing to me and I threw them so far back in my wardrobe that they disappeared. I was feeling tired and very sorry for myself, so I lay down on my bed and before I knew it I was asleap.
I woke and it was morning. My father must have put the sheets over me and I got the shock of my life when my eyes dropped to my chest to see the sheets pushed up by two much larger mounds - perhaps the size of mandarins. I screamed, sat bold upright and grabbed the mounds. 'Oh god no!!! Ive got breasts!!! Nooooo!!!!' Iwailed as I felt their sheer bulk in my hands and felt their much greater weight on my chest. I began to get an inkling as to what real breasts must feel like - yet these were nothing like their final size yet. Already they dominated my chest. They felt so wrong! So horribly wrong, yet they also felt so sexual. This dramatic change in my body was absolutely shocking to me and I began to scream for my father.
My dad burst into the room and his jaw dropped as he saw my breasts. 'Oh my god! - so fast!' he simply said.
'Help me dad! Please! I cant bear the feeling, they feel big already, theyre still growing! I dont want them to grow any more! They are so female!!! Please dad, I dont want to be a girl! Im a boy! Im a boy!!!' I cried
The sheer pace of the changes was astounding. My father reminded me that we had an appointment with a doctor that morning who was a specialist on the X-Virus. So in a daze I pulled a shirt on and I winced with disbelief with every step as my growing breasts wobbled and jiggled upon my chest. I went to the toilet and gasped as I went to pee... My penis was smaller again than yesterday. My balls were shrinking and my scrotum skin was much taughter and thicker. I broke down again and cried as I pondered my fate.
After breakfast we left. A mate of mine saw me and began to run over to the car. I sat in my seat with my arms desperately trying to hide my breasts as he leaned in to say hello. 'Sorry brad - got to go!' was all I said and as he turned I was sure he noticed the bulges in my shirt front. I saw him look twice and a shocked kind of look appeared on his face.
The drive was horrible - every bump wobbled my hated breast mounds and all I could think of was the shrinking of my penis. We arrived at the specialists office who, my dad said, held this special clinic once a week. We walked in and I was confronted by four other people, one a young woman who was trembling, a girl about my age in a dress and her mother, a boy of about 12 and another of about my age who also had breasts. I guessed the young woman was recently a young man who had changed fully. The girl of about my age engaged my eyes and said 'those new?' referring to my breasts
'Yes... I hate them!' I said in return. She gave me a sad kind of smile and spread her legs deliberately so I could see her crotch. She was wearing panties and her crotch looked very very female, down to the slight indent of her labia that a crease in the panties indicated.
'Nothing can prepare you for this!' she said 'My dick... its gone... I'm almost a girl! Its so flat! You cant imagine the sensation! I began to change just 2 weeks ago!.... Yesterday my penis finally disappeared, and last night this fucking slit grew! I hate it! Its so flat! So female, so curvaceous!' and then she suddenly screeched, grabbed her mound and yelled at her mother 'Its growing inside! Ahhhh no please help me!!!'
Her mother looked at me and my shocked dad and simply said 'The last stage.... My son is growing a vagina... Aparently it is the worst part - doctor says you feel like your body is being invaded as it grows from the front to meet the new female internal organs....'
The girl was screaming now and the doctor came out and whisked them away. I began to cry again, thinking of the feeling between my own legs. The young woman in the waiting room began to cry and spread her legs, cupping her own mound with her hand then looking up at us all. 'I changed finally last week.... Im a girl now... I... I hate how it feels! Ive had so much counselling - but I just cant get over the loss... My poor penis! This thing...' (she stared sadly at her curved genital mound) 'its not mine! I cant believe I am actually feeling a vulva between my own legs! So flat! So invasive... like a mouth and a throat between your legs!' And she began to sob again. I was shocked yet again, thinking about what she had said - how she felt... How could I possibly be any happier about my sex change? I doubted that I would.
We heard the 'girl' whose vagina was forming moaning and panting in distance. It almost sounded like she was giving birth. I couldnt bear just sitting there, I had to see what 'she' was finding so distressing - what I could expect. So I got up and ran to the room where the changing girl was. Opening the door I saw her, nude on an examination bed, with her legs wide apart and a completely female groin pushed high in the air as she bucked her hips. I could see the lips of her vulva, the round curvaceous look of her groin so clearly.
'Ahhhhh god please!!! Its pushing inside me!!!! No!!!!' she screamed and bucked her hips whilst staring in fear between her legs. She was growing a vagina!. The doctor was just holding this girls hand and occasionally looking between her legs so see the progress. The mother sat in a chair looking shocked and silent. The girls moaning became faster and faster and she began panting as she writhed, I saw her wrists were bound with velcro to stop her hurting herself. She pulled at the restraints and one hand came free, which flew to grab her cunt. She touched her labia, pushed a finger between her lips and then screamed a piteous wail as she pushed a finger into her newly formed vagina for the first time... In shock she passed out and slumped, still, presumably now a fully formed girl.
From my position at the door I became light headed with shock and fear and I too passed out. I awoke some time later to see my dad and the doctor. I was inside the same room and the other poor girl, whose vagina had just formed, was gone. I sat upright and the doctor looked at me and said 'how do you feel?'
'How do you think! Im be coming a girl for fucks sake!.... Is that what will happen to me?' I said, referring to the last girl's horrendous sex change.
'Probably... Thats the worst part most patients say.... Its the most confronting thats for sure... growing a passage that never existed between your legs...' the doctor said 'Before you ask - no there is no way to prevent it happening. But I must tell you this... Plenty of patients have adjusted to their new bodies... Some have come to enjoy their new bodies... There are many great things about being a girl....'
'How can you say that!' I screamed 'You dont have bloody breasts! You arent the one whose dick is shrinking! You're not the one who will end up with a flat mouth between your legs!'
'I know' said the doctor 'But I can help you adjust... Its a confronting time, and the best research shows that you would be best advised not trying to pretend it isnt happening... If you accept it you will be far better off and make the adjustment sooner...'
'What do you mean?' asked my father
'You are just days away from being a true anatomical girl.... You need to start dressing like a girl for a start, you need to wear a dress and you need to wear girls underwear... its all psycological, but like it or not, you are going to be a girl - you may as well accept that now' said the doctor
As the doctor spoke, I began to feel dizzy again. My groin was throbbing, tingling... changing. I was almost unconcious from shock as I felt the doctor lift me onto the examination bed saying something about examining me. I was sure I was not unconcious for long, but I awoke on the bed with my top off, my hated breasts ripe and nude on my chest and my legs spread wide... The doctor was looking at and touching my dick!.... '50% reduction already I would guess' he said looking at my dad 'See the ball sack is thickening up... This will become the labia, it will begin to split open once the penis and balls are fully absorbed....'
'Cant you do something?' my dad said. 'He is so afraid of becoming a girl... he told me about this girl at school who must have been a boy... how she hated her new body... her... you know... the feeling of her...'
'vulva?' said the doctor
'yes' said my dad. 'I cant imaging what it would be like... I mean I love women and girls... but could you imagine being one? The sensation of breasts and vulva?....Loosing your manhood? Growing breasts?'
I could hear the men clearly, but I was too upset to let them know I was awake. The doctor grabbed an ultrasound scanner and began to rub it over my abdomen. I peered through my slit eyes as the doctor gave a chilling comentary. 'Yes they are quite well formed now... see this?' he said pointing to some organ on the screen. 'That is the ovaries, and that there is the womb... that dark spot is the cervix... when the vagina forms, that is what it connects to... There's something else you need to know... Your sons changing body is absolutely flooded with female hormones... They have the effect of making the patient very emotional... Lots of crying and self doubt, this can continue for months... Until they finally accept being female. There will be body hatred, penis envy of a most major kind... And massive frustration and angst involving the hatred of this female body and the enormous sexual pleasure it will provide... Rest assured that female orgasms are far more powerful than ours... In the beginning the sex changed boys hate the experience, but in time they come to appreciate it...'
I sat up and the men stopped their conversation. I looked down at my swelling breasts and grabbed them in my hands. I hated them! I wanted them off my body! I began to pull at them 'Get off... cut them off me!!! Please! I hate them!!' and again I broke down crying. My eyes then dropped to my crotch and I saw my cock... It was obviously smaller again! I grabbed it with a trembling hand and passed out in shock.
When I woke up I was again in my dads car. We drove home in silence. My penis and balls ached as did my insides. I tried to not think about the alien organs that were growing inside me. When we got home I jumped out of the car and ran to my room, whiumpering at each bounce of my breasts as I ran. I rummaged through my wardrobe and found the damned girls panties that had infected me with the X-Virus. I stripped my clothes off and stared in slack-jawed disbelief at the mirror. My reflection looked to female! My ripe breasts looked so huge, my poor fading penis and balls hung limply and shockingly smaller between my legs. The curve of my stomach and groin was unmistakably girl.... I screamed and pulled the panties up my legs. As the panties approached my groin, I remembered my bizarre fantasy of the other week when I pretended to be a girl... Seeing my penis and balls so reduced in size, and the approaching panty gusset... It almost felt like the panties were coming in for the kill... I shuddered as they touched down on my skin and I felt so shocked at just how little the panties were puffed out by my manhood.... Compared to two days ago, it felt like there was hardly a bulge at all in them... I stared in the mirror at my growing breasts... They had grown during the day and were now the size of half oranges - not full grown but certainly far more breasts than mere lumps. I cupped them in my hands and I could feel their weight - ample and so sexual, my nipples grown in size to twice the size of earlier in the day, the areoles also. I looked in the mirror and had trouble resolving the image it reflected... I saw a girlish figure, like a half formed tomboy... Small bare breasts, panties that did not hug the bulge of a boy's genitals nor cup the flat roundness of a girl. It looked bizarre, yet shockingly I realized that I would soon know exactly how a girl looked and felt from every angle.
Just then there was a knock on the door. 'Who is it!?' I called out, my voice jumping an octave at the end.
'Its brad! Youre acting so weird! Can I come in?' he said
'Wait!' I yelled as I jumped into bed and pulled my doona up to cover my body
Brad entered my room and said 'you sick again? why are you in bed?...' he walked over and sat down on my bed. He looked at me and said 'you look different... your face is softer... that flu made you look soft like a girl!' he joked
That was too much for me. 'I am sick!' I said - my voice still higher, sounding like a girl.
'What the hell is wrong man!' Brad said
'Im changing! into something... I dont want to be....' I said, choking off my tears. Brad looked strangely at me and an impulse grabbed me. I pulled the doona down and revealed my growing breasts. Brad almost died of shock.
'What the hell!' he said 'Youre... youre....?'
'Becoming a girl' I screamed at him 'Im loosing my cock, my balls... Im going to have a cunt! A mouth between my legs! I hate it!!! I cant bear the feeling of these breasts... But there is nothing they can do!'
Brad looked shocked and sat there as I told him the whole impossoble story. At the end of it he said 'Wow... I dont even know what to say... I love touching the girls.... But being one.... I dont know how I would cope.... Tell me, that virus you caught, what makes you think you arent contagious now?'
'I dont know... that girl at school still was, and she had fully changed... I hadnt thought about it... I guess I must be!' I said
Brad stood up and said 'Sorry... This is way too heavy... I sure feel sorry for you, but I sure dont want that to happen to me!' as he pointed at my breasts. And with that he left.
I cried myself to sleep.
In the morning I was almost afraid to awake. Without moving I tried to sense the changes in my body. My breasts were immediately obvious - their sheer weight and sexual presence was unmistakeable. Like some alien presence they inhabited my chest and when I sat up they pulled down with the full weight of gravity. I screamed! They felt huge, heavy and they swelled like two grapefruit from my chest. I grabbed them, feeling their soft yet firm flesh and hating their presence and sensation to my core. I now had full sized breasts! I was screaming out 'Help me! No! Please no! Ive grown breasts! Full breasts! They're so fucking big! So female!!! No!!!! Dad!!! Help me please!!! I dont want to be a girl!!! Not a girl!!! Im not a girl!!!' And I broke down sobbing... My breasts jiggled as I sobbed, wobbling in my hands. As I cupped them I also, against my will, I felt an electric sensation of arousal in them. My nipples swelled - making me scream again at the horrifically alien sensation. I also felt such an odd feeling between my legs. I stopped worrying about my breasts and threw the bed covers aside to see what had happened between my legs.
The first sight that struck me were the girls panties that I had fallen asleep in last night. They hug my changing form giving shocking visual clues to state of my genitals beneath! No longer did the girls panties have trouble containing and covering the bulge of my manhood. Instead I saw a pathetic bulge and noticed that my hips seemed wider as well. My shaking hands grabbed my mound and I felt the remnants of my dick beneath the fabric. My dick was tiny! My balls were gone, my sack empty yet thicker skinned. As I pulled the panties from my body to see my genitals first hand, my dad walked in.
'Oh... my... god...' he said
'Theyre going! my dick! Oh dad... no!!!!' I screamed at him whilst we both stared at the bizarely transforming sex organs between my legs. My penis was no more than 3cm long, its head shape changing and becoming more clitoral. My urinal hole was no longer on the end of my penis tip, but rather had migrated half way down the shaft as it prepared to become a separate uretha. My ball sack was utterly empty as a feel with my trembling hands confirmed. The skin was thicker already and had a notch nearer its end that I shockingly realised was the beginning of my forming labia - probably the very place where my forming vulva would start to split open. I began screaming again as I touched my genitals, cupping them in my hand and imagining the sickening conclusion of my transformation between my legs - a vulva - in my hands. Sick with grief and with loss, I passed out.
My dad had taken time off work and had gone to the shops to buy the clothes that the doctor said I must now accept I had to wear. He was crying also as he walked into my room and told me he had bought dresses, panties, bras and other girls clothes. I was lying in my bed, exhausted by the toll of my body's reformation - numb with the constant shrinking sensation between my legs. When my father left I went to the pile of clothes and for some reason rummaged through the panties, choosing some white holeproof fibs. I stared at the photo of the girl on the cover - pulled the panties on and began to shake as I saw the panties looked almost as girl-like on me as they did on the photo of the teenager on the panty packet. I cupped my utterly flat mound and began to cry again. I went to the toilet and realised that I had no way of aiming my almost-absorbed penis and I had to sit like a girl, with panties at my knees, as I urinated. Walking in a daze back to my deb I fell asleep again.
When I woke in the morning I felt dread. I threw the covers aside and gasped as I saw between my legs. I still wore the white cotton panties, but they covered a crotch that had no discernable bulge. It was completely curvaceously female to look at. I screamed and grabbed it in my hand, depserately feeling the space in my trembling hand. My dick had gone! My balls were gone! It was utterly flat between my legs! I squeezed my hated mound and began to scream again. Pulling my panties aside I saw a bald flatness between my legs. No slit had yet opened, yet I could see a small hole that must be my ureatha, and a distinct crease in the thicker skin of my hairless mound nearer my arse. It was such a shock! I had actually lost my cock and balls completely. I was no longer a boy. I rubbed the flat space, a piteous and extremely female wail escaping my lips as I mourned the final loss of my dick. Strangely the rubbing of the flatness was erotic and I felt a strange heat in the place where my penis would have joined my body. Looking at the spot I could see a tiny welling up beneath the surface that I knew would be my newly forming clitoras. Despite my revulsion at touching the devestated groin, I could not stop rubbing the void, a makeshift masturbation of the demasculated void. I felt my hated breasts throbbing and soon came - the orgasm was alien, nether male nor female, yet I felt the deep contractions of some foul and female internal organ as my girl's pelvic floor unleashed orgasmic contractions within my abdominal cavity for the first time. I could barely belive it. The orgasm lasted for ages and had me panting and sobbing, begging for the sensation to stop, for my simple male orgasm to return. It did not. And so my changed continued, having reached the point of no return. I was a mess, so tired and so desperately sad. I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up some time later and immediately sensed something was very wrong. I grabbed my crotch and the flat mound filled my hand. I had not gotten over the shock of the emptyness between my legs and expected to feel the same when I felt my middle finger sink into a slit! I had a slit! Labia! A vulva! I pulled my panties off and began hyperventiallating as I saw what looked exactly like a cunt between my legs. My dad ran into the room and stared between my legs saying 'Oh my god!' as he stared at my girlhood.
'Dad! Please tell me this isnt real!' I begged him 'It feels to flat! My balls, my dick! Oh god no!!! Im a girl!!! Please not this!!!!'
My frantic hand was roaming all over my new cunt, feeling the flatness where my dick used to be - my hated girls mouth began in the same place and touching that space I could feel what I shockingly knew to be a clitoras, just inside the start of my cunt lips. I felt futher down the slit and found that there was no vagina hole yet. It was a strange yet haunting kind of relief.. Yet I knew that I would soon have one of those horrifically alien passages between my legs also. My dad just stood there and said 'what can I do?'
'Help me!!! please... Aaaaahhhhh!!!' I screamed as I felt another horrific sensation. Right in the middle of my newly formed labia, I could feel a pushing sensation. It actually hurt and I began to buck my hips involuntarily as I tried to relieve the chilling sensation. Deep in my core I knew it was my vagina beginning to form, to push inside me from within the desolately flat folds of my hated new vulva. I began to pant and screamed for my dad to stop it from happening... I felt like I was giving birth in reverse. Wave after wave of fierce cramping rocked my abdomen and after each wave I could sense the vagina had pushed further in me. I grabbed my mound and desperately felt the space in my slit that the vagina had originated. While cupping this void where my cock once was, my index finger slipped into my new slit. I shuddered at the sensation but the need to know what the invasive feeling of my growing vagina actually meant forced me to probe the folds. I felt a passage about 1cm deep where I knew my vagina would untimately be! The final part of my transformation had begun.
I was nearly hysterical, begging my father to phone the doctor - do anything to stop me from becomming a fully fledged girl. I screamed at him that I was being raped, and in a way I was. Whilst any girl subject to the trauma of a rape is ultimately feeling a sex organ thrust into their body without consent - this was precisely what was happening to me! But far worse than a penis, which would ultimately leave the rape victims body, my body was being sexually invaded in a far more dramatic and permanent way. A vagina was forcing its way into my body! Yet this rape was more fundamental, more horrific... This invading sex organ was inegrating itself into me, becoming part of me, it thrust inside me against my will and yet it would not just slid out of me like a rapists spent cock. It would remain, a foreign sexual passage that I could already feel would be far from passive. Each wave of vaginal growth filled me with a hybrid of pain and fear at the sensation I was experiencing. My vagina was highly sensitive - I could feel it within me, sense its presence, it felt like a throat between my legs that came from my newly formed vulva mouth. It took perhaps an hour of hell for my vagina to finish invading my body. My father was a mess and I was inconsoleable, feeling a violation beyond belief, having experienced a rape of my formerly male body by my own vagina. The violent transformation and my hysterical bucking of hips and pathetic cupping of my changing sex organs left me weak and sobbing. My father couldnt bear it any more and had to leave the room to let me grieve over my final loss of manhood.
Lying on my bed with a bald cunt between my legs I screamed at the injustice of the universe and grabbed the foul organ in my hand. Its sheed flatness was shocking to me. My finger shockingly slid inside! I could feel my own finger inside my body! I could feel lips mould around my finger, my lips and new vagina intimatelty felt the finger as well. I began a piteous wail. My labia lips were so sensitive! My vagina so sexually tingly that despite my hate and revulsion at the utterly female sensations I was experiencing, I could not help but begin to slide my finger in and out of my hole. I began to gasp and let out quiet screams as I began to finger fuck myself. Whereas my growing vagina had effectively raped me as it invaded my neutered groin, I now compounded rape upon rape by finger fucking myself - my own fingers utterly unwelcomem in the sexual passage that was also unwelcome between my legs. I was in a sexual hell, yet my frantic hand continued to probe and massage the foul organ betwen my legs. Occasionally the hand would slide up to massage the pathetic clitoras, remnants of my penis stump, at the start of my slit... Finally I felt the beginnings of my first girls orgasm. Whilst remembering the look of sorrow, release and hate on Fiona's face in the library, I too came as a girl.
The experience was so confronting. My vagina throbbed and swallowed! My clitoras sent wave after wave of sexual electricity through my body, my girls lips tingled, my breasts throbbed in time with my orgasmic contractions. It was fantastic yet horrific at the same time. Screaming whilst I came as a girl for the first time I realisewd my life had now changed irreversably. I now had a girls body and would have for the rest of my life. The only time I would ever experience a penis between my legs now, would be inside my own vagina. I hated the feeling between my legs, I hated the invasive emptyness of my cunt. I hated the ripe and heavy sensation of my breasts. I hated being a girl.
To be continued....
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