A Wonderful Trip

by Debra Lynn Messer

  

Let me start off by saying that the company I used to work for was the greatest. If it had not been for their support of people in transition none of this would have been possible. They went so far as to have Diva rooms installed. I can never thank them enough for the support they gave me.

The toughest part about being transgender is going to the bathroom. Once you go fulltime it nearly becomes impossible to use a public restroom. I know that seems silly to some. Of all the changes and things a person in transition faces it would seem that using the bathroom shouldn't be real high on the list. Well, think of it this way. Transition means just that. When you go fulltime you spend your entire day dressed as a woman. As your body develops you look more and more like a woman. Except your ID says "male". If you use the men's room you are basically ridiculed as some freak. If you use the ladies you are a pervert and can find yourself it a bit of trouble.

I had started dressing as Debbie in high school. Like most it was underwear and stockings. I would wear skirts and tops whenever I could though. I had saved up money and bought a set of c-cup breast forms and a couple of wigs. By the time I graduated from school I had begun to create a small but nice wardrobe for Debbie.

College was terrible. My first year I was stricken to living in a dorm, and worse yet, I had a roommate. Debbie was stashed into a couple of boxes and packed deeply away. I wanted to bring her with me. I wanted to develop her more and had hoped I would have been able to. The trouble was I was serious about being Debbie and I knew very well that my life would have been pure terror if I had tried.

The next year I had gotten a job that allowed me to move out on my own. Finally I was able to bring Debbie along. Well, most of the time. I think my family had an idea I dressed but never came out and called me on it. No, I was subjected to such words of encouragement like, "people like that are sick freaks and should be locked away" or "what kind of idiot would do such a thing" or one of my favorites "any guy who does that should just be tossed out of 'normal' society". What there is a non-normal society? So once again Debbie was left to part-time.

The next year I began to get bolder. I would wear panties and bras everyday. I had bought tops that were kind of uni-sex in design. I now had more feminine shoes that I wore. My shorts and jeans were all female. Since I had some classes that were very large I would dress as Debbie for them complete with skirt and blouse. With my new wardrobe came a new look. I grew my hair long hair and styled it in a feminine fashion. I would hide the look when I had too, which was not very often. Granted when I went home on break I was treated to the pleasant comments but both my hair length and now pierced ears.

Next came my senior year. With the end of the first semester I knew that I would be job searching soon. I nearly killed me to have cut my hair and dress in boring suits and ties for interviews. Woman had it so much better. I looked longingly at their colorful dresses and soft clothes. I knew that no one would give a real chance as Debbie and again shoved her away.

During my interviewing I saw Carol. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her long blond hair and green eyes made her look like a goddess. She had a gorgeous body and looked like she stepped off the cover of a magazine. I had to meet her. I found out her name and introduced myself. There was an instant connection and I asked her out that day.

We dated for the rest of the semester. Carol had told me she had accepted a job across country and I was yet to find one. It bothered me a little I was really attracted to her and wanted to move back east with her. I was also faced with a small trouble. Carol had no idea about Debbie. I couldn't even think of a way to tell her. So once again I shoved Debbie back into the boxes I had kept her in before.

About two weeks before graduation I received a great offer from a company in the same city as the one Carol was moving to. The money was good and it was what I was looking for. After accepting the job I found Carol and told her. She was trilled that I was moving there and was the one who suggested we think about "living together or something". Well the "or something" was what it became. Carol and I were married and moved into an apartment near her job in the city.

Now I took Debbie and her boxes and stashed them deep in the storage locker in the basement of the building. Carol hated the place and refused to ever go in there. I didn't know why I kept the boxes. Carol and I were married now. I didn't think there would ever be a chance I could bring Debbie back. I guess I just couldn't let her go though.

My new job was great. I discovered that the company was incredibly supportive of people in transition. This was a mixed blessing for me. Here I was married to this incredibly sexy woman and was forced to burry Debbie all while people around me were living out their lives as who they were. I dove deeper into my work as an escape from my desire to bring Debbie back. I missed her and missed being her. I just had no idea how I could ever bring her back though.

***** ***** *****

One Friday evening I was sitting at the table at home while Carol was watching the television. I was finishing a project when I heard her calling me. Mike, Mike look at this. It was a show about transgender people. What do you think of this? I felt a cold rush hit me. Thought, what I thought is if I could I would have run to the basement and shown her what I thought. She looked back at me and I just shrugged my shoulders. I figured if I said anything it would be wrong at that moment. Well, I think it is cool. Did I hear her right? Did she actually think it was normal and acceptable? It was the sweetest music I ever heard. I stopped and sat back to listen to her. Come here and look. See how well he dresses. Not in some silly clothes, but up to date and classy. I figure if a guy is that committed then he should be allowed to do it.

Now she had my attention. I got up and joined her on the couch. I am being serious Mike. All to often women are "required" to appear and act more "manly". Look at him though. Dressed he looks like another woman his age, not a guy in drag. They are married and she is supportive and accepting. I think it is great. We have to many stupid stereotypes about what is "right" and "acceptable" in our society.

I just sat there all slack jawed at what she was saying. I couldn't believe my ears. She was actually saying it is okay for a man to dress as a woman. I must have looked like a complete dork as she spoke.

You know you should try it. Now I was a little freaked out. I did a semester long study of transgender people in college. I remembered seeing that. Actually I nearly signed up, but the sign up times were hard for me to get to. I learned a lot about transgender people and what they have to deal with from family and friends to society as a whole. Look I know your company accepts and supports it. I interviewed several people there as part of the project. I tried to get a word in quickly. I also know they don't advertise it in job interviews. That helped. I think it would be good for you to live as a woman for a while. See what it is like and experience the things transgender people and woman deal with everyday.

Now I was really freaked. What was I supposed to do? Did I come clean and unpack or what? Mike you have a good build for it. You are a little thinner than most men and just tall enough. She was right about that. At five foot ten and only one hundred and sixty five pounds I had been able to pull it off. Wait here. Carol was digging around in an old date book. I still have it. Take this down to the address and ask for Melody. I stared at the slip of paper. Hurry I think she will close soon. I grabbed my coat and went to the address on the slip of paper.

When I got there the store was just about to close. I met Melody and explained my wife's request. Melody said she remembered being interviewed by someone a couple years back but that was all. I finally came clean and told her everything. Come back in the morning and bring your things. When I got home I told Carol that Melody asked me to come back in the morning.

That night she and I had the most incredible intense sex ever. It was like agreeing to do this flicked a switch in her that made her a complete animal.

***** ***** *****

I got up early the next morning and pulled the boxes out of storage. I packed them in the car and went up to tell Carol I was going to see Melody. Carol was pulling my things out of the closet. Before you go could you put these boxes in the storage area, you know how that place freaks me out. Carol was packing all my stuff away. Mike, we need to do this to set the tone. Trust me for this to work you need to be completely immersed in the role. When you get back you will also need to use the other room. She went on about how I needed my space to be able to explore my role.

When I got to the shop Melody met me. Okay, follow me. We went into a nice lounge area that was well appointed. Let me see what you got. Melody and I went through everything. Okay, we have a very nice start. First I suggest larger breast forms. Then we will increase you work clothes and fine-tune everything. Melody helped me change in to Debbie and even did my make up. The entire morning we went through everything. By the time I was done I had a nice wardrobe and was ready to leave as a "new woman". Melody wrote up a fake sales slip. Here this way she will never know you had any of this. I thanked her for everything. My pleasure, you are very lucky to have her. Not many men get this kind of a chance to live so openly. I thanked her and packed up the car.

As luck would have it I found a parking place right in front of the building. Our monthly space was about three blocks away and I didn't want to have to walk and carry the dozen or so bags back dressed this way. Carol and I made a couple trips to the car and brought everything up and into my new room.

Wow, you opted for a nice set of boobs. I tried to sound naive about it. They work well on you though. I also like your choice in underwear, a little daring but a good choice. I was a little embarrassed. I had always like bikini and thong panties. I also preferred sheer or lace fabric, I felt more feminine in them. Carol commented on my choice of clothes. I did a good job making sure Melody got all the credit.

After we finished Carol said we were going out for a while. I was horrified at the idea. What's wrong? You just went shopping and came home dressed this way. You were walking in and out of the building this way and now you want to get all goofy? She was right I tried to explain, but it sounded silly even to me. I finally gave up and grabbed my coat and purse and followed her out.

***** ***** *****

Our first stop was taking the car back. I rode as Carol drove and waited on the sidewalk as she gave the keys to the attendant. After that we headed done the street. It was a cool day and I wrapped my coat around me. You carry yourself like a pro are you sure you never did this before? I felt the blood rush from my head again. Quickly I thought of a way out. I told her I had seen women do this and I was just trying to copy it. Well, you are doing a good job. Keep this up and I won't even be able to tell. We walked down the street to a CVS and stopped outside.

Ok, you need to get a bottle of water, some mints and mascara. I looked at her in shock. Like I said experience life as a woman. Go on I will be fine here. There is money I your purse so don't worry. I went in and bought the items. The cashier smiled and thanked me. I nodded and coughed into my hand so I would not have to speak.

Great, now that was not so bad was it? I thought and agreed. It was a little weird but really felt good in a way. Carol and I walked through the park and then the art museum. As time passed I began to separate Mike and Debbie. It was all coming back to me now. Carol suggested we get dinner out and talk some.

I made sure I watched and repeated everything Carol did. This way I could keep form slipping and doing something that was either incorrect or to correct. First we need a name. You can hardly be Mike looking that good. How about Marie or Maria? I had to admit I hated both of those. Okay, Jane or Judy or… I cut her off right there. Carol tried a few more names and after some thought said Debra. Your middle name is David and you could go by Debra or Debbie. I told he I liked the sound of that and chose Debbie.

Okay, Debbie tomorrow we are going out again. We will do some shopping and get you a make over. This way we can buy the right make up. I know a place that we can have your nails done too. By Monday morning you will be ready for work. I nearly dropped my fork. Did she say work? This was a little too much too fast. I know it is fast but you are going to have to go to work this way sometime. You are doing so well we might as well keep it up. Besides all you clothes are packed away.

The next day went like clockwork. I was out and about in the city as Debbie. I had to stop and pinch myself too. For so long I dreamed of being able to do this. Now here I was with the sexiest woman I knew out as the woman I wished I was. Before I knew the day was over and we were home again. We both changed into nightshirts and kicked back to watch some television.

Are you ready for tomorrow? You know you will be on your own. I thought for a moment. Don't worry though you are doing great, even better than I thought. I looked at her a little worried. After a quick thought I told her it was because she had made me feel so comfortable.

***** ***** *****

The next morning I showered and attached my forms. I tucked my cock and balls under me and pulled on a pair of sheer white panties and matching bra. I had picked a coral colored suit and cream blouse to wear and was just beginning to do my make up when I saw Carol. She was still in her bra and panties and I slowly and carefully applied my make up. You are doing great. In time you will have no trouble doing that. It was driving me crazy. I knew I had to look good but I already could have done it twice as fast. Carol watched for a couple of minutes and went back to get herself ready.

I slipped on my coat and collected my purse and things for work. I had even bought a new bag that looked better for my new appearance. I checked to make sure I had everything and Carol and I headed off. Once on the street she kissed my check and wished me luck,

As I turned and headed down the street I remembered how much I missed this. The cool autumn air was refreshing. The breeze danced around my stocking clad legs and up my straight skirt. The sound of my heels clicking as I walked down the street. It was all just too wonderful. I made my way down the steps and out to the train platform. I noticed a couple of men eyeing me. I was pretty sure they had no idea, but avoided eye contact just the same.

The train was full and I had to stand for the trip. I was certain that at least one guy copped a feel of my ass as he stepped off at one stop. It was a little disturbing but I let it go. At my stop I got up and ascended the stairs back to the street and made my way to work.

At my desk I brushed my skirt under me as I sat down. I placed my purse in a drawer and slid my legs under my desk, crossing them at the ankles as I did. Laura was a friend of mine in the office and came over to see me.

Mike, Mike is that really you? She said it softly as she slipped up behind me. I turned smiled and said hello. My gawd, you look perfect. I hardly knew it was you. When did you come out? I explained that is was Carol's idea. I told her I would tell he all about it at lunch.

The morning went pretty much like any. I did have to explain my new look a few times and told everyone I was going by Debbie during this time. Everyone seemed to like my look and quickly adjusted to calling me Debbie. At lunch I sat down with Laura.

Carol thinks I should experiment with this. She saw some show on television last Friday and talked me into doing this. I agreed and here I am. She said she had done some study in college and wanted me to do it. It took a little convincing, but since the company is so cool about people in transition I gave in.

Laura had tons of questions. We were almost late getting back upstairs. For the next several weeks we would meet and she would pick my brain. I don't know why I was being so open with her I guess I needed to talk to someone other than Carol. As time went on I finally confessed that I had done this before. Yes, it was still Carol's idea and she had no idea I did this in the past. I even told Laura how much I had enjoyed being able to be dressed again.

***** ***** *****

As time went on I was able to quit wearing wigs. My hair had grown out and I had it cut, colored and styled. The first time I was able to be out without the wig was great. I really hated the thing and was glad to be free of it. Carol and I were walking in the park one day when she caught me off guard.

You have been doing a great job. I think you need to take the next step. I was a little worried at the comment. You have really done well creating the person. What you need to done now is experience her. You need to step further away from Mike and discover who Debbie is. It is hard to do. I was confused. I told her I had a pretty god idea who Debbie was already. No, I mean the woman Debbie. You know who the professional working Debbie is. What you need to do is experience the feminine aspects of Debbie. Now I was lost. Carol went on to say I needed to consider a date with guy. Getting out in a social setting where Debbie could be free. I am not saying hit the sheets with every guy in site but to learn how Debbie feels. I said I would think about it and changed the subject.

As I lay in bed that night I went over what Carol had asked. Could I really go out and let myself be that free? Granted I had thought of the possibilities of dating men in the past. I had even fantasized about it before. What really was getting to me was what would I do given the chance? Ever since my first day at work I felt as though Mike was fading away. With each passing day I was noticing that Debbie was more and more in control. It had even gotten to the point where I saw Carol more as friend than as my wife. Was Debbie really smothering Mike and if so what would happen it I let here loose?

I talked to Laura the next day at work. I think she is right. You said that Carol wanted you to experience life through the eyes of a woman. Well to do that you have to do woman things. Women date men, women are hit in by men in clubs. Women… I stopped her there. Look Debbie if you are going to do this you need to do it. A date here or there or a drink at the bar is no big deal. Women don't generally have sex on a first date you know. I told her I knew that. I figured a simple date wouldn't be bad. If you want I can fix you up? I told her I needed to think about this. Look, ask to see her notes. I bet she kept some. Find out about the whole plan and stuff. I am sure Carol will give them to you.

That night I did. Carol had me get a box out of storage and she went back to her room with it.

***** ***** *****

The next morning while I was at work I got a package for Carol. Inside was a note. Here is the stuff you asked about. I had to black out the names for privacy reasons. Read it over and call me later. Love You, Carol.

I spent lunch reading through the notes of a previous case like this. It was all really simple. He dated a couple of guys and nothing happened. It seemed that in the end he was more understanding and a better man for doing it. Just as I was about to head back up stairs Luke stopped by.

Mind if I join you? I told him to have a seat. Luke was tall with sandy-blond hair. He had hit on me shortly after I began and I had declined his invitation. Now he was here sitting with me. I had seen him around and lately had thought of him. After Carol first mentioned the dating I instantly thought of him. It was easy too. Luke was a dish a real treat. I could see Debbie with this guy. I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering if you would like to grab a drink at the bar after work. I told him I really couldn't stay. I understand, but I really only meant one. I told him I would consider it and excused myself.

Back in the office I told Laura what had happened. So, have a good time. This is perfect. I tried to explain why I couldn't. Look, call Carol and tell her that you are going to have a drink before you come home. It will take you 10 to 15 minutes. You will have had a social interaction in a public place and you can leave alone. Carol gets you to do that, Luke has a nice evening and you feel no pressure.

I went back to my desk and called Carol. I had decided to leave Luke out of the conversation. I told Carol I had read the folder she had sent over. Well, are you okay then? Do you see why I am asking you to do it? I told her I was and did. Great, so if you get a chance take it. All I ask is if you are going to be an hour or so late call. We said good-bye and I went back to work.

About an hour later Luke passed by. Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if you had decided about this evening. I told Luke I would like that and that I could stay for a few minutes.

When he left Laura came over. So, you said yes? I told her I did. Is that yes to a drink or yes to his bedroom? I pushed her away. I told her a drink in the lounge in the building and that I was leaving…alone.

I met Luke down stairs and had gin and tonic. He was even more charming than at work. We sat at a table in the middle of the room. I was really enjoying myself with him. I sipped my drink and talked for almost twenty minutes. I glanced at my watch and told him I really had to be going. Luke walked me to the door and I kissed him lightly on the cheek.

All the way home I thought about what I had done. It wasn't like I planned it I just did it. It seemed so natural and normal for me. I guess I had let Debbie get a little freer that I had planned. It was only a kiss on the cheek though. I really didn't know why I was so freaked out by it. I guess it was because I had actually never done that before and I did it so easily. When I got home Carol was waiting.

Did you get to meet a guy? I was caught in mid step. Really, did you? How was it? What did you think? Carol had a hundred questions. I stopped her and made it simple one drink, in the lobby lounge, in the middle of the room. She started right up again. I had to sit there for the next hour answering her questions as she wrote in her notebook. So how do you leave? I just looked at her. Did you hug, did you kiss, what did you do when you left? Tell, me you didn't just walk out. Guys do that. You did show some sort of affection, right? I finally admitted that I kissed his cheek. Well at least you did that I was getting worried. A kiss on the cheek is like a handshake, no big deal.

That night I thought about her questions. Did I want more? Did I want to see him again? Did I feel any sexual tension? I had lied when I answered them. I had told "no" or "not really". The truth was "yes" and "yes" to all. What was happening to me? Mike would have never done that or felt this way. Did I really want to become Debbie? I finally fell asleep.

***** ***** *****

No sooner had I sat down than Laura was next to me. So is he good in bed? I told Laura like I told Carol, one drink, down stairs, in the middle of the room and a light kiss on the cheek. That is a nice start. I would have considered the drink at his place and breakfast this morning after some serious dick though. I tried to tell her I was more than willing to let her have him. I don't think he is interested in me. We talked a little more and she left me alone.

Luke stopped by later that day to thank me for the drink. We talked and little and he asked me to dinner. I told him that I wasn't able and thanked him for the offer. He really was a nice guy and after the question and answer session with Carol I was having all sorts of thoughts about him and me.

The next day I had planned to meet Carol for lunch. As soon as we sat down her boss walked up. I was horrified. Carol quickly introduced me as Debbie and that she and I had gone to college together. It worked too. He was polite and gracious and apologized for barging in.

Carol I have meeting this afternoon and needed to see you. Representatives for the company your team has been working with dropped in and want to have a dinner tonight. I know this isn't really fair but will Mike mind if you call him and tell him. Carol looked at me and said she was sure he would understand. I really am sorry I hate to spring this on you I hope his doesn't get the wrong idea. Carol reassured him that Mike was a great guy and would understand.

After he left Carol turned back to me. So do you have a date? This would be a good time. I tried to change the subject. Really, since I have to attend this meeting you could go out and have dinner and be home before me. You should too. I tried to down play it some. Well, then at least stop by a place where you can meet someone. That way you can see what happens being out alone. I told her I would think about it and finished lunch. I ran into Luke in the lobby and rode up with him.

I decided to take Carol's advice and asked if the offer still stood. I asked hid if the offer was still open since I had a change and I was free this evening. Sure, I would love it. I thanked him for being so sweet about it and told him I would meet him later.

***** ***** *****

Just as I was getting ready to leave Luke met me in the office. Are you ready to go? I noticed Laura's head pop up and told Luke to just give a minute. I headed off to the kitchen area with Laura in close pursuit. I was acting like I was wiping up as Laura darted in.

So where are you off to? Let me guess, a little Luke steak? I shot her a glare. Well, I would. I told her Carol's boss interrupted lunch and told her she had to attend some dinner with clients. She thought I should go out someplace and get hit on. So you decided to go get nailed by Luke instead. I told her I was going out to dinner and that was all. With that I tossed out the towel and left before she could say anything else.

Luke made a few suggestions on dinner and I recognized one of the places because it was close to my building. I agreed to go there so I could walk home afterwards. I can get us a cab. I am sorry I rarely drive to work. I told him we could walk or even take the subway. I lied and said I didn't even own a car so it was fine with me. Luke got us a cab and we went to the restaurant

All through dinner I found myself lost in the sound of his voice. We held hands and talked. I had to catch myself a few times. It was all getting weird. I had to remember to focus on being here. I could tell Debbie was getting stronger. Being here with Luke was giving her power to push Mike further away. I was holding and caressing his hands. We kissed as we waited for dinner. I kissed Luke on the lips. It was warm and soothing. The taste of his lips lingered. My head was foggy from it. I kissed him again. This time a little more passionately. What was I doing? Debbie is an illusion not real. Why did I want him so much? Why was I feeling this way? It seemed like forever for dinner to arrive.

After dinner Luke said he would get me home. It was well past 8:00 and getting pretty dark out. I told him it was only a few blocks. I knew Carol wouldn't be home until late so I wasn't concerned about that. I was concerned about how much I wanted him. Luke insisted and I showed the way back to my building. When we got there he took me in his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck and we kissed again. This time deeply and passionately. I sucked his tongue as it darted into my mouth. I felt a warmth pass over my entire body as we kissed. Finally after the fourth or fifth time I told him I really had to go. I knew if I didn't get loose soon I was going to loose control.

I went up to my room and got undressed. The entire time I had the same questions nagging at me. Why? Was I becoming Debbie? Did I want to become Debbie? What would it be like being with Luke? Taking his cock in me. I was so confused. I sat down to watch some television in my nightshirt. I don't even remember Carol coming in.

So what did you do? Did you have a date or go out? I meant to say go out but date slipped. Great, was it with the same guy? It was too late to turn back now. I said yes and told her where we went. Again she asked questions and made notes. You are doing great at this. This is one of the best times I have tracked. I thanked her for her faith in me as a test subject. No, I mean you are really being open about this. It is so hard to get people, men and women, to talk about their experiences. Then came the feeling questions. Again I lied. I told her it was weird and different, kind of like I was not really myself. I tried to get the point that I was not comfortable with this anymore.

Debbie you are at the critical point. Because you live and work full-time you have moved really quickly. I called my old professor and explained what I was doing. She said that this is normal. Because you are so completely immersed into your role it can get a little fuzzy. You are doing fine though. I wanted to know why a professor knew. I need a contact person to make sure everything is going right. I don't want to mess you up or hurt you. I accepted the answer and let her go on. I will stop now if you want, but you are so close now. If you stick with it a little longer you will be fine.

Stick with it longer. It had been nearly nine months already. I was loosing touch with Mike. Debbie was beginning to take control and I had just made out with a guy because I wanted to. I was really worried and tried to let Carol know without actually telling her.

Debbie, from here on out I want you to keep a daily diary of what you do and how you feel and what went on. I don't want to read it. Be honest with yourself. It will help you work through this part. Trust me I can tell you need it. I took the book and dropped the conversation. I figured I had come this far what would a little more time mean.

Now I have some bad news. Carol handed me an envelop from a travel office. This is my intinerary to go to L.A. Janet and I are going to meet some of the bigwigs out there. I am sorry. I know this is a terrible time to do this. I read it over and noted that is was just the two of them going.

Debbie this will be good for you. You can really experience Debbie without me around. Take advantage of it. When I get back I promise to will be over soon. I nodded and took the papers.

That night I just lay in bed. Dinner with Luke was the best. Having him hold me and kiss me drove me wild. I don't know what I would have done had I been given the chance. Now I was supposed to actually write all this down and see it in front of me. I couldn't do it. I could hardly accept it there was no way I could write "his kiss warmed me and made me weak" or "given the right chance I would have taken him and had sex with him" and "the possibility of an intimate relationship makes me want to see him even more". No just thinking it was hard enough. I hardly slept at all that night.

The next morning I kissed Carol and wished her a good and safe trip. I knew she would be gone when I got back. All the way into work a new thing started to nag me. My wife was about to take a long trip across country and all I could think about was getting laid by Luke. Now I knew I had an issue. Mike would have been upset and concerned and questioned why? Debbie was Carol's roommate. What would she care? It would just mean the place was all hers for a few days. Gawd, I was becoming Debbie.

***** ***** *****

Laura met me in the lobby. So did you fuck him? I told her she had a real way with words. Hey, I just want to dirty details. Is he big? Did you get it more than once? Did you swallow? I just stared at her. What, you think guys are the only ones who ask those questions? I told her it was dinner, a walk home and a kiss. Just one? I finally admitted it was several and I was nearly washed away. After some coxing I said if I hadn't gone up stairs I may have done him right in front of the building. I knew it!

So, Debbie, I need to ask you something. What about Carol? I asked what she meant. Debbie, I can see you are crossing over and I just want to know. I pressed her. I had one drink in the bar and one dinner. Outside of some intense kissing nothing was going on. You are right, not yet. What happens when Luke asks you out again? What happens the next time he kisses you? What about the next guy you meet? Tell me you can go home and come back as Mike and forget all this. Tell me you can leave Debbie and never look back. I looked at her and thought for a while. Finally I just said when Carol gets back it will be over soon. That wasn't my question. I said it would be over and I would be ready.

I spent the rest of the day stressing over what she said. She was right too. Mike was little more than a distant memory now. I hardly remembered what he was really like. Debbie had taken charge of my thoughts. I was consumed with her. The way she looked, acted and came across. I was in a bad place. I had Mike's body but Debbie's sole. With each passing day I drew further away from who I was and closer to who I was becoming. How could I go back? Could I go back or was I going to become Debbie?

Luke stopped by later and thanked me for dinner. I noticed how I was acting more like a giddy girl when her boyfriend calls than usual. I was wondering if you were free tonight? I said I was really tired and had planned on just staying home. He said that was fine and asked if we could do it some other time. Without a second thought I agreed. It just slipped out. I wanted to say that we would see but no I actually agreed and said another time.

I saw Laura watching the entire time. I went into the kitchen area to get a soda. Debbie, say what you want I saw that. I saw a woman thrilled to see her boyfriend. You think you can fool me. I am telling you now there is now way you can go back. You are Debbie now. I spun around and was ready for a fight. Debbie, you need to really do some sole searching. This "plan" is having an effect and the effect is that Debbie is taking over. If you tried to stop now you would be a mess. I don't think Mike is strong enough to come back. With that she left me alone. I just leaned against the counter. I was all of a sudden very tired. I tried to make believe it was the lack of sleep lately. I knew it was the sudden realization that Laura hammered me with. I knew she was right. Here I was a guy married to an incredibly sexy and wonderful woman and I was losing my mind to a character created by her, a female one at that. I went to the supervisor and said I felt ill and took the rest of the day off.

I changed in to a short skirt and stretch top when I got home. I picked up the notebook and looked at it. I then found a pen and sat down on the couch. It took some time to fight it out but once I started it flowed.

The past several months have been strange and wonderful. Carol has given me the one thing I wanted, to be Debbie openly. I thought I would have been happy to be able to express her so freely. At first it was a dream come true. Now it is closer to a nightmare. I love Carol and she is my wife. The longer I stay as Debbie the more I feel Carol is just my friend. I have seen Luke twice. The first time I could tell Debbie was really interested in him. Last night Debbie kissed him. Several times. The longer she was with him the more she wanted him.

I look in the mirror now and only see Debbie. When this started I saw Mike playing Debbie. As time has passed I can't see Mike. Debbie seems to be the person in control and any glimmer of Mike is faint and short lived. Even a friend of mine at work has said the same thing. Who am I? Who do I want to be?

I closed the book and fell asleep. I woke up about at around 4:30. It was the best sleep I had had in weeks. I guess writing all that down did help. I felt liberated and ready to keep going. I also felt hungry. I put the notebook in my room and ordered a pizza.

***** ***** *****

When I heard the bell I went and got my purse. I opened to door and saw Luke holding a pizza

It took some convincing, but I managed to get it from the delivery guy and past the doorman. Mind if I come in? I smiled and let him in. I heard you went home sick. I was just curious to see how you were doing. I told him I was just tired and need some rest. I offered him a beer and a slice and we went into the kitchen.

I was getting plates out when Luke rubbed my shoulders. You are really tense. Is it my being here? I can go if it would help. I turned around and leaned against the counter. I told him that his being actually was making me feel better. With that I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

Luke pulled me close to him and kissed me back. His strong arms around my waist as we kissed. He was holding me close and tight. I ran my hands down his back. That was when it happened. Debbie took control and smashed to last of Mike right there. As I was sucking on Luke's tongue I could feel his stiff cock against my body. I broke off the kissing and undid his slacks. I pulled them down freeing his erect member. I took it in my hands. He was easily 9 inches and thick I stroked his tool squeezed his balls. With out a second thought I dropped to my knees and kissed the head of his cock. I looked into his deep eyes and wrapped my lips around it. With little effort I downed his entire pole. Even I was surprised at how easily I had done it. I sucked as I drew back then down on him again. My mouth was fucking his cock. All I could think about at that moment was sucking him off. I wanted to taste his thick cum. I wanted him to fill my mouth with his treasure. Luke had his hand on my head as I continued to down his meat.

Gawd, that is smooth. You are so good at this. His words inspired me to do more. I was sucking harder and rubbing my tongue along the sensitive underside or his cock. Mmm, keep it up I like this. I did too even more as I did. Ooo gawd, I can't take much more. I knew my time was about to come. Soon I would have what I wanted. Oooo…mmmmm…Debbie…I'm…I'm…oooo… Then his cock erupted in my mouth. He shot wave after wave of seed down my throat. I downed his cum as fast as I could. Not letting a drop get away. When he was done I sucked him clean and let his softening cock go.

That was amazing. I thought I was going to black out. I can't believe it. Luke pulled his pants back up and we went to watch television and eat.

It wasn't much longer before we were making out again. This time I led Luke into my room. I took off everything but my thong and then helped Luke get undressed. Once in bed Luke got me on all fours. I could feel the coolness of the lube he was applying to my ass. He then pressed the head of his cock at the opening of my fuck hole. With steady pressure he pushed into me. I pulled away in pain. Luke waited and then did it again. This time it went in a little further. It took a few more tries before I had his entire shaft in me. I could feel his heavy ball sack hanging against me. He then with a steady motion began to drill me.

I was moaning and squealing as he filled my passage. His cock pushed deep into me and I was going wild. I was meeting each of his thrust with my own. I was gasping as he rammed me hard. I was begging him to fuck me more. I was sweating and thought I was going to pass out when I felt Luke ram his shaft as deep as it would go. His cock swelled and it pumped his hot thick cream deep into me. It seemed like he had gallons of cum pulsing through his cock. I squeezed to keep his cock in me.

Luke fucked me one last time before leaving. It was late and we both had to work the next morning. I showed him to the door and gave him one last long deep kiss before he left. I went to shower and clean up. Afterwards I picked up the notebook. This time I had no trouble writing.

Luke dropped by to night. I don't really know what came over me. I took his cock and downed his cum in the kitchen. I couldn't help myself and needed to taste him deep in me.

Later were in my bed and had sex twice. It was wonderful. His cock filled me and drove me wild. It was the best sex I had ever had. I know now why woman like sex so much. I nearly lost my mind when he came.

***** ***** *****

The next morning Laura came over to see how I was doing. She looked and me for a moment. Did you meet Luke? I said he stopped by. You fucked him didn't you? I tried to change the subject. I can tell you got that fresh fucked look on your face. Was he good? I tried to get Laura off the topic again. Oh no, I know he drilled you last night. So did you suck his cock? I just stared at her. You did, you sucked him off. I was turned bright red and my face was hot. Let me guess you swallowed his cum. I was horrified at he comments. You go girl. Every guy loves that. Of course do to women.

She just let me have it. I couldn't get a word in. Okay, now you see Mike is dead. Debbie has risen and is in total control. What do you plan to do about it? I didn't want to hear this. She was right I knew it. In a couple of days Carole would be back and then the test would be over. I would have to return to Mike. Never again would I taste the juices of a man or feel him in me. I dropped the conversation and went to work with the questions nagging at me.

Luke stopped by and wanted to know if I had plans. I told him I was sorry but had to decline this time. I meant it too. I needed some time alone and time to think. Laura asked what he wanted and if I was going to see him. I just told her that I planned a quiet evening at home. The rest of the day nearly flew by and before I knew it I was heading home to be with my thoughts.

I went into my room and changed into a pair of shorts and top and was just sitting writing in my notebook. I have been faced with an awful dilemma. I truly love Carol and would never want to hurt her. After last night I don't know who I am or what I want. I can't have both. Carol and I deserve more. I find myself in so many ways ready to let go of Mike and finish this wonderful trip with Debbie. I feel as though Debbie is my true sole now. How can I tell Carol? What do I say? Should I do it at all? If I don't how will I feel? Can I live again as I was?

I was looking over my notes trying to make sense of what I had written. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't. I took another sip of wine and set the book down to think. My thoughts were interrupted though by the bell. I looked through the peephole and saw Laura. I figured it was safe so I let her in.

Hey it is Friday night and we need to go out. I tried to say I was not in the mood. All the more reason to go. When you are down you need a good jolt. Come on I will help you get ready. Laura nearly shoved me into my room. She pulled out a black lace thong and matching bra and garter, a pair of sheer seemed stockings, my Little Black dress and 5-inch pumps. You go shower and get ready. I will be in the other room waiting. I did as she mentioned and I a little over half an hour I was ready to go.

***** ***** *****

We went to a club and grabbed a table near the back. We were just sipping our drink and watching the room when two guys came up and asked to join us. Tony and Brian were delicious looking. Tony sat next to me and Brain joined Laura. We danced and had a few drinks. It was all going real well. As the night went on we did a little kissing at he table. I knew Laura was getting pretty hot and I had to admit I was too. Later in the ladies Laura told me her plan.

Tony and Brain are roommates. I am going to take him to my place so two can be alone. Remember don't do anything I wouldn't. With that she left the room. When I got back Tony was still sitting there alone. I offered him my hand and he led me out the door.

We caught a cab and headed back to his place. We were making out in the cab, on the elevator and in the hall. It was a shock that we didn't just screw right in front of his apartment. Once in side I went right for his goods. I almost tore his pants off in the process too. As soon as I freed his rock hard member I went down on him. I took his entire cock in at once. My face was eagerly fucking his cock. The trip had me so hot I couldn't wait to taste his cum. It must have been the same for him to because he exploded in my mouth quickly.

Tony led me to the balcony. He fixed me a drink while I looked at the city. The apartment was high enough up that I could barely her the noises below. I looked out over the city and could see the lights for miles. Tony handed me my drink and wrapped his arm around me. I have been here for five years and still I love this view. I rested my head on his shoulder. Tell me Debbie do you have to run off? I turned and looked at him and said only if he wanted me to. With that I set my glass down and kissed him deeply and passionately. It was all he needed to lead me into his room. We undressed each other and Tony laid me on his bed. With a single drive I took his entire cock in me. We had pure passionate sex. He drove his cock deep in me over and over. I was screaming for him to fuck me more. There was no doubt to anyone who heard us I was enjoying the balling he was giving me. After he fucked me silly and filled me with his treasure we fell asleep wrapped together.

The next morning Tony rode me again. Again I was sent to a place I didn't know existed. I was in heaven and when he erupted in me I wrapped my legs around him and help him tight.

As I was getting dressed Tony slipped. I am so glad Laura set this up. You were fabulous. I kissed him and thanked him for what he had done. I told him he was incredible too. When I got home I saw Laura waiting for me.

***** ***** *****

Let me guess hair a mess, no make up, still wearing a sexy dress at 10:00 in the morning and just coming home you got laid. I turned and looked at her and said she had some explaining to do.

I went into my room and began to undress. Tony said you set me up. He said it was your idea. Laura looked around the room like I was talking to some one else. I am talking to you. I want to know why. What other surprises do you have stored up? Laura tried to shift the conversation back to Tony. No, what gives? She stopped and looked at me. She said I should get cleaned up and she would tell. I went and took a long hot shower and got dressed again and met her in the front room.

When I came in she was writing in a notebook. I saw mine lying on the table across from her. For starters I never picked it up. This test that you and Carol are doing involves me too. I nearly exploded. Before you really flip out let me explain. Carol and I did the study together. We worked totally separate and keep separate notes. All we every told each other was what we needed to keep control of the experiment. I looked at her and asked how much had she set up. Outside of the basic design of creating Debbie and meeting Tony nothing. I asked about Luke. No, Luke was not part of the plan. Debbie, Carol will be back soon and is going straight to Dr. Sherri Kane's office. Sherri was our contact person in college and was this time too. She is much better at this than I am. Laura got up and left the room for a moment. When she came back she had a small bag and some clothes in her hand.

These are the only clothes you had left. Change and we can walk to her office. I took the clothes and looked a bag in her hand. Oh yea, don't forget to write in your book. Sherri needs to see it too. I took the book and went to change into the sweats and t-shirt Carol had kept out from when all this started. I sat on me bed and wrote in the book. When I was finished I came back out. I had calmed down by then and figured after I left Sherri's office it would be all be over and done with.

Laura and I talked as we made our way down the street. Mostly about work and stuff like that. I saw the bag over her shoulder but decided not to ask what it was for. When we got to Sherri's office Carol was already there.

I am sorry Sweetie I never meant to lie to you. I just knew you that if you knew you would have never talked to Laura. We hugged and kissed before Sherri came out. She was a tall and beautiful woman. Her striking features could stop traffic. I shook her hand and at her request remained in the outer room. She took my notebook and went into her office with Laura and Carol.

***** ***** *****

I was out there for what seemed like hours. I thumbed through every magazine flipped through the channels on the television and wandered around. Finally Sherri opened the door and called me in. I was shown to a chair between Carol and Laura and Sherri returned to her own.

I know you have nearly hundreds of questions racing through your mind. As of today they will all be answered. You will leave here and the test will be over. Now I have read their notes and yours. We have talked and they have completed their summaries. Notes, summaries was a lab rat or a person? I know this may all be a shock to you but the time came a little suddenly. With that she looked at Carol and Laura and pointed to the door. They both got up. Carol kissed me and told me no matter what she loved me. With that they left closing the door behind them.

Okay, now we need to talk. Oh, was I ready for that. Let me explain. Carol and Laura ran the program for me in college. They kept notes and did talk everyday. I assure you though neither new any more than they needed. I just sat there. Only they and I know the notes they kept. If you want I will give them to you. The ones you wrote only I have seen. As part of the arrangement they were not allowed to share personal information. Any thing you told either of them the other did not hear. They also could not share their feelings. I was the only one they could discuss anything with.

Now I think I should start with…Luke. She looked through the papers before saying his name. Luke was a wild card. Laura called me about him. Under normal conditions I would have found a way to remove him. In your case I left him. You see since your company is so tolerant of transgender people I felt safe with him. Tony was a set up with Laura.

Even after she told me about your date with Luke I left Tony in. I needed to know if it was a fluke and a one-time deal. This way I could be sure.

I was getting confused. It was like the more she cleared the water the worse it got.

Let me get to the point. I have here the summaries that they wrote. I will start with Laura's

I have watched Debbie change in ways I never saw before. She has gone from a good person to a total woman. She is excelled at work and has set personal standards that no one but her can reach. From a professional standpoint I have found myself improving too. She is in charge and in control. Mike could have never shown the same level of commitment.

From a personal side I have watched Debbie take over. She is the true sole of Mike. As time has passed She has become stronger. No matter what he has said I can't see any part of Mike left unless I some how try to draw it out. Even then it is only temporary and fleeting. My biggest concern is that if Debbie is pushed away and Mike tries to return the end result will be disastrous. There is no way Mike and return, in my mind, and if he tried who knows what will happen.

It was deep and disturbing. Laura had said nearly the exact same words to me, just not as powerful. I couldn't believe what I heard. I knew I was some how happier but never thought it was that noticeable.

Now let me read you what Carol wrote.

Debbie has changed so much. I have never witnessed this level of character involvement before. It is as if by doing thing I have magically changed Mike into Debbie. I thought it would stable out after a few weeks but noticed that the longer I have kept him her the more he changes. I mean at a basic level. Even the simplest and most nondescript actions are normal. Just the way Debbie carries herself and moves and does things is so natural. It is as if the sole of Mike was really Debbie. I know he will never admit it and loves me too much to do it, but Debbie is who he is. Mike needs to see that. It is more than clothes and actions for him. It is deep and almost primal in nature. I love this man dearly but cannot think of him as anyone but Debbie now. Having him go back would kill him. If not now it will in the future. I would rather keep Debbie as my best friend than see Mike self-destruct over time.

That hit home for me. I knew they were both right. I nearly cried at hearing what Carol had written. I guess I knew it all along and just needed to hear her say it was all right.

Debbie now it is my turn. Based on the conversations with them, their notes, these statements and your notes I have to tell you what I see. I see a woman trapped. I see Debbie as who you are. When you leave this room you will be making your own decision. That bag over there has two sets of clothes a pair of slacks and shirt and a skirt and blouse. This envelope is for you. However you leave here in is your final choice. You must decide today. It ends here in this room for some one. Take your time there is no rush. We will be outside or if you prefer you may use that door there to go. As she got up and walked to the door she made one last comment. If it helps they both expect to see Debbie. With that she left the room.

So there it is. Months and months of stress and concern come down to one moment in time. It all looks so simple just get changed and walk out the door. It will all be over and life will go on. All I need to do is change clothes.

I paced around the room for a while trying to take it all in. Here I was at the crossroad of my life. I had dreamed of being able to have this moment and right now all I wanted to do was die. Could I be Mike again? Were they right? How could I do this to Carol? Granted it was her idea. True, I had always wanted this. All I had to do was get dressed and be done with it.

I laid out the two entire sets of clothes. I touched the blouse longingly. I had been so much more at ease with Debbie. It had always been that way. I knew there was only one choice left for me.

I picked up the shirt and held it. Memories raced through my mind. I remembered the day I saw Carol and how beautiful she was. The extent I went to too meet her. The time spent dating in college. How happy she was when we moved here. I relived the walks along the water. The days we spent doing nothing in the park. I saw us walking hand in hand down the street looking in the windows of the stores and talking.

I caressed the shirt with love. I held it to my face. It would be so easy to just slip it on. My mind went back to Carol again. I could see he face in front of me. The glow of her around me.

I read and reread the notes and comments. I read what we all wrote. I looked over everything. Why was this so hard? I just needed to change. I held the shirt and looked out the window thinking.

Then with a tear and a smile I folded it up and set in gently on top of the stack. I took off my clothes and folded them up too. I looked one last time at the clothes in front of me and leaded over. Knowing deep down there was no real choice I picked up the white lace thong and stepped it to it.

I finished dressing and took the clothes and slid them into the bag. It was done. It hurt but I knew it was right. They were right. Once I had let Debbie loose she took over. I had always wanted this and now I had it. Oh yes it had been a wonderful trip, but the real journey was about to begin. I went to the door and lightly knocked on it. With a deep breath I turned to handle.

They were all standing as I opened the door and walked out of the office. Carol ran to me. My sister, I am so happy you chose Debbie. I love both of you but know that only she can stay. Laura and Sherri hugged me too. We then went back into the office.

In the envelope were several papers. Sherri explained that come Monday morning I needed to change my ID's and stuff to Debra Lynn Messer. The name was chosen when we started the whole thing {Lynn was Carol's middle name}. She gave me prescriptions so I could start my hormones and blockers to develop my new body. Then she handed me a blue folded packet.

Debbie I do not need to tell you what this is. I am sure that by making this choice you already know. I did and opened it slowly. It is very simple and basically states that you get what ever Carol doesn't want. We can work out any issues together. I noticed that Carol wrote a little note on it saying she would always be in love with me. I slowly reached for the pen Sherri was holding and scribbled my old name. Just before we left Sherri gave the first of what would be many weekly shots.

Then Carol dropped the other shoe. Debbie I have been asked to head up things in L.A. I have to leave now. I planned on going home for a while today. I am sorry but I think this is best. I agreed. All I want is my personal stuff and the car. You can keep everything else. Since I rarely ever drove it and the cost of monthly parking was absolutely insane I told her that would be fine with me. It was decided we would blame the other for the break up. We both figured the truth was a little too much for anyone to deal with properly. Besides our families wouldn't dwell on it if they thought the other was responsible.

When we got back Laura and I helped Carol pack and load her car. It was a horrible good-bye. We were all a mess and by the time she drove away we looked like raccoons with the mascara running down our eyes. Laura and I stood there as Carol drove away before going back upstairs.

So are you going to move? I told Laura I could afford this place even if I had the car to keep. Now it was just going to be easier. I did how ever want to switch rooms. Laura spent the rest of the evening moving my stuff into my "new" room. We ordered take out and straightened the place up. We made a list of all the things we needed to do the wash away any trace of Mike. I wouldn't take much a few things here and there and some new stuff and my apartment would be a real woman's place. It was late and Laura asked she could stay. She got set up in my "old" room and said I had one more thing to do.

I took Laura down to the storage area and pulled out the boxes. These are Mike's things. I want to get rid of them tonight. I don't want to have to deal with anything Mike when I wake up in the morning. I don't believe I will need these anymore. We drug the boxes out and went trough them.

Debbie, lets burn all this. Laura pointed to the incinerator across the room. I agreed and the two of us slowly watched all of the clothes turn to ashes right before us. It was nearly midnight when we finally finished. I went to sleep knowing that the fact I was done with him and free to become Debbie forever.

***** ***** *****

Laura and I went shopping for the items we needed to find. It was fun and for the first time ever I felt complete. I mean really complete mentally. I was happy to be Debbie and was glad I had made the choice. When Laura and I got back we finished the apartment. I had to admit the little changes made a world of difference. It wasn't frilly of sappy either it had just the right feel to it. It said a woman lives here.

Monday I called in so that I could get to the appointments I had. Sherri had scheduled appointments all over so I could redo my Social Security Card, Driver's License and get my name changed on documents. As I was getting ready to head out Laura showed up.

After all we have been through you really don't think I am going to miss this do you? I smiled and let her in. I told her I would be ready soon and went to finish up. We went out and got everything done by noon. I was surprised how quickly it all went. Since I had to redo my work information I called the HR department and they said I could do it today. Laura and I headed into work and about an hour or so later I had a new ID in my hand. I slipped into my purse right next to the ID that said Debra Lynn Messer was a woman. It was all too much. Here I was heading home. I would never again be Mike and as far as anyone was concerned I was a woman. I couldn't wait for the rest.

Laura and I went out to dinner that night to toast the new beginning. I knew it wasn't going to be easy or happen over night, but it was going to happen. That was the important part too. I was going to go through with this and soon enough (sort of) I was going to have the body to match the sole. I had waited 27 years for this I could wait a little longer.

I stopped by the CVS and picked up my prescriptions. I took the pills that evening and set the bottle next to the sink.

***** ***** *****

I came to work in what I can only decried as a chipper mood. I was nearly floating on air as I brushed my skirt under me a slipped my legs under my desk. Laura just laughed and commented on how perky I was. Why wouldn't I have been? Just a few days ago I was stressed about what I needed to do. Now I knew and was doing what I always wanted. I should have been this happen and "perky". The day just breezed by, and so did the week.

Over the next several weeks I noticed some major differences in me. My skin was softer and had a glow to it. I had suffered through electrolysis. My breasts were a solid C-cup. This was a little tough since I had been using DD-cup forms for so long. Many of my clothes were stretched and just didn't fit quite right with the smaller breasts. I had lost weight and my hips were now wider. When all dressed I was impossible too tell I was just in transition.

After about two months I used my vacation to have a little "work" done. I had decided to have my chin and nose look less "manly". I felt I needed to have my voice raised so I wouldn't have to fake it all the time and of course increase my boobs to a size I liked. All in all I was going to need three weeks of recovery and some time for my jaw to heal. I had met with Sherri just before the surgery and she agreed I was ready to make the changes.

After I return to work I was sent to the research area. It was a pain of a job. Hours and hours of digging and looking through the Internet and old files. Since I could hardly talk it was best I could do it for a while. That was were I met Brad.

Brad was in charge of the department. He was a nice guy and better than average looking. I had met him before but since I had started seeing Luke he kind of disappeared for a while. Luke had left the company and moved back home while I was out.

I hope you don't take this wrong. I really was interested in meeting you when you were dating Luke. I told him no that was fine and that I liked to hear that. I just didn't ask you quick enough I guess. Besides I didn't want to cause any tension. He really was sweet. The last thing we need here is…well… I let him off the hook. I knew that he was trying not to sound stupid. I figured I could take the lead for while and help him out. I explained that Luke and I dated a few times and I knew what he meant. Things can get ugly even after a break up if you date a different guy right away. We just made little joke out of it and went on.

I only had to work there for a few weeks. After that one conversation nothing more was said. I wasn't really sure if it was because I was "working for Brad" or if it was because he decided not to pursue anything. He was good looking and a really great guy to be with. I was sort of curious about why but didn't want to put him on the spot.

I continued to see Sherri and after a few more months I was faced with a true decision.

Debbie you have been fulltime now for just over a year. You have developed a great body and have made changes to increase you feminine appearance. She was right there. Between hormones and diet and exercise I was now 38dd-24-36. The surgery had given me the features and voice any girl would want. I have here a piece of paper. If you sign it I can set up your last trip under "the knife". I grabbed the paper. Debbie I need to warn you this is a one-way trip. Once you do it there is no going back. I believe you are ready and have cleared you for it. Ready, what was she saying? I had left my wife and altered my body to get here. Ready, I was ready months ago. I signed the papers and left.

Back at work I told Laura. How wonderful for you. I am trilled. What took so long though? I told her I had to spend time living as Debbie before she could approve the changes. But what about the other things you had done? I said I guess that didn't matter. Oh well, what ever. So when is going to happen? I told her Sherri would call in a few days.

***** ***** *****

While we were acting like a couple of teenagers Brad walked up. I hope all this happiness is because of me? He smiled as he came over. Laura and I composed ourselves and I introduced Brad. Pleasure to meet you Laura. Since you are in such a great mood I was wondering if you had any plans this evening? Laura took that as her cue to quietly slip off and leave us alone. I told him I didn't. Would you care to get dinner and a movie then? I told him I would love to. Brad said he would be by around 7:30 to pick me up. I gave him my address and phone number and got back to work.

Laura and I met up as we were leaving. So can I expect a full report on Monday or are you going to prude out on me. I said I really did not have any idea. If I do you will know, if not then we will see.

I went home and searched my closet. I finally decided on a short suede skirt with matching jacket and stretch top. I showered and got dressed. I was just slipping on my pumps when Brad got there. I invited him up while I checked myself to make sure I was ready.

The movie and dinner are several blocks away I hope you don't mind taking a cab. As we walked out of the building arm in arm he waved his hand. This is always kind of weird for me I don't even own a car. I feel awkward some times like I am some kind of weirdo or something. I told him I had gotten rid of mine. I felt it was expensive and living in the city unnecessary. I joked it was also the reason I kept my figure. Brad laughed at that comment. I was serious though. Since I used public transportation and walked all the time it helped me stay in shape.

I got to pick the movie. I almost picked true "chic flick". I decided that since Brad was so nice and even made comments about how he felt not owning a car I would take it easy on him. Dinner was great too. He took me to a nice little place. The food was wonderful and the owner was a kick. He came around and would just stop and talk to everyone. I noticed that the people that he knew he had long conversations with about their families and things going on. It made me so relaxed and at ease.

After dinner Brad was a little nervous. I knew he was wondering what was next.

Why don't we just walk? After all that food I need to walk some anyways. The idea was to just spend a little time with him. I figured the walk was long and we could talk. By the time we would get back…well…who knows. It is a nice night and not to cold. I wrapped my arm around his back and stepped close to him. Brad leaned over and kissed me and told me to lead the way.

All the way home we talked. He was really quite a nice guy. We stopped and bought a cup of coffee at one point. It was colder than I thought and my short skirt did little to keep me warm. When we got back I invited him up. Once inside we embraced and kissed. His strong arms held me close. I was sweep up in his touch. I took off his coat and laid it on the couch as I led him to my room.

We were naked and in bed when I went down on his cock. It was a full nine inches and real thick. I gobbled it down and sucked on his balls. The entire time Brad was stroking my hair and moaning. It was great driving him wild. I would suck his cock then lick his balls. I played with his pole keeping him just on the verge of loosing it. The longer I played this game to more tensed he was. I finally down his shaft and worked it until he shot his load. It hit my throat like a bullet. I knew I had him worked up but his cum powered out of his cock. I thought I wasn't going to be able to keep up with the flow as he pulsed his cum into me. I swallowed every bit and sucked him dry.

That was just about mind melting. Gawd I thought I was going to explode. He held me tight and kissed me. I have never had it like that…ever. How did you get so good? I knew I was missing something. I just didn't know how much.

We caressed and played with each other. When Brad was ready again I plowed me with his thick rod. This time it was I that was about to have a mental melt down. I couldn't believe I was getting so hot and bothered as he rammed his rod into me repeatedly. His staying power was amazing. I knew everyone in the building could hear me as he expertly drilled over and over. When he finally shot his load I thought I was going to pass out I saw stars as he filled me with his cum. We fell asleep and he gave me one more intense fucking before he left the next morning.

I spent the weekend alone. I cleaned and played around the apartment. Went for a long walk in the park. I just did nothing really. It was kind of nice too. Laura had left a message and I even decided to ignore it. Not that I wanted to but because I was enjoying being alone too much. I knew there would be hell to pay from her comments but that would be in Monday.

I also received a call from Sherri telling me the surgery would be in three weeks and I would be out of work for a while. I knew I was going to have to figure out how to do this. I would stop in on Monday and figure out how.

***** ***** *****

No sooner did I step onto the street from the subway than Laura popped up. Where have you been? I told her home all weekend. I said I just wanted to be alone and do nothing. Gee, I am sorry I thought he was a nice guy. I smiled and laughed. I told Laura everything I mean every detail. Wow, so you are going to see him again? We'll see. I said he was great and drove me wild, but I wasn't sure about anything else.

I stopped at HR before heading to the office and worked out the LOA and picked up my forms to fill out. When I got to my desk I had a note for me to see Kate.

Kate was the supervisor over the outside people. I had no idea what she wanted and went over to her office. I knocked lightly. Please come in. Debbie, have a seat we need to talk. I have been watching you for sometime now. Let me say I wanted Laura to do this but she felt you were a better choice. I want you to replace Darrin.

I was at a total loss for words. This was a huge deal. It meant a major boost in pay and a lot of real nice perks. Why me Kate? I mean…well…what I mean to say is…

Kate smiled and laughed. I love the reaction of people when they are caught totally by surprise. You have earned it. You are more than ready. The truth is I only offered it to Laura because you took time off. I felt imposed to do it. I was actually glad she said no.

I was at a loss for words. I was being given a great chance here. I also had my final surgery planned. I was in a bad place. Kate I do want the job but I have something big hanging over me too. It will require me to take time off and recovery.

Kate laughed a little. Debbie just say it you are getting your SRS. Don't worry about it. You will transfer here at the end of next month. You will have several weeks of training and then supervised travel. It will be fine. Just say yes and I will take care of everything. I did and went out to thank Laura. Laura said I was better choice and looked forward to being my inside contact. She explained that since we worked so well together it would be silly if not stupid to break us up.

 

***** ***** *****

The next couple weeks dragged by for me, all I could think about was getting through with it. I packed my things and made my way to the hospital. I checked in and met with the doctor. I listened to him talk and agreed to everything and told him I was ready to do this. I signed all the paper and settled into my room. The next day Laura was there when they got me ready. I will see you when you wake up a new woman. She held my hand and kissed my forehead. As I drifted off all I could think about was how happy I was this day had finally come.

I slowly came to in another room. Still fuzzy from the drugs it took a few minutes to remember were I was. One thing I was sure of was the pain in my groin.

Well hello sleepy. How was your nap? A nurse came over to check on me. The doctor will be in soon. How do you feel? I told her and she smiled. Yes well we have good drugs right here. It you really start to hurt push this button and you will get some. She stroked my hair and left. A few minutes later the doctor came in.

It was perfect. Soon you will be up and around. Now you will be in bed a few days for the area to heal. I know it hurts and it will even more once you come out of the fog. That will pass though. Trust me you will be very happy at the work. He talked to the nurse and left again.

A few hours later I was taken back to my room. Laura was waiting as I slowly {very slowly} moved into bed. How do you feel? I told her I hurt…a lot. I can imagine. How do YOU feel though? I thought and finally said I felt complete. Laura sat down and held me hand as I drifted in and out. I finally told her she should get going. I was fine and she needed to get to work. I will be back tomorrow. She squeezed my hand and left.

The next morning I noticed a huge flower arrangement. I took the card and saw it was from Carol. Happy Birthday Debbie welcome to your real life. Love Carol. It was nice to see. She and I had kept in touch and I told her all about the changes I was going through. She seemed happy with her life in L.A. and always told me she was happy I made the choice. It did seem a little strange lying in a bed reading a card from my former wife wishing me the best on my becoming a woman though. The doctor stopped by to check on me and make sure there were no problems. I told him outside of the pain I felt great. He smiled and said he would be back. I was confined to my bed for several days. I would get visits from staff and friends. After a few days even the pain had become less. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

I found walking to be tough. My legs were weak and the pain was still there. It took a while for me to really be able to move any. Laura stayed with me a while at home and helped me a lot.

When I finally got back to work I was ready. Weeks of bed rest drove me nuts. I would get out and walk around the park some twice a day. I tried not to push it but I was going crazy stuck inside all the time. I was in Kate's office doing paper work my first day back.

So outside of the dull soreness how are you doing? I remember it seemed to take forever before I felt better. I looked up at her. I had no idea and no one ever said anything. What you think this body came this way? Oh no Sweetie I was Carl and now Kate. With that she held her hands out wide and stood up. Now don't get any ideas. You got the job because you earned it. You work for me because I wanted you to. So back to business here are your keys and follow me. We walked down to an office Laura was sitting at a desk just outside the door. Go ahead and open it. I took the key and unlocked the door. I went and sat at my new desk. Kate and Laura sat down across from me after they closed the door. I waited to promote you until I knew you had the surgery scheduled. I knew you were going to do it and I wanted to make this all work. I have been smoothing over the mess Darrin left behind. So what we will do it get you to ready and trained. I will keep tabs on the clients and later you and I will meet them. You have a car in the garage and a parking place. You can keep the car at home if you wish. Given that you often have to leave early and get home late you might want to. I thought about the cost and hassle of finding a monthly place. As for today I think we need to get out of he city and have very early and very long lunch. Debbie you drive.

How could I say no to my boss. The three of us went down and found our way to the car. It was a little scary driving again. I hadn't driven a care since I began the change. It took some time to get used to it again. By the time we got out of the city I beginning to relax a little. We went to a nice place in the country that Kate directed me to. We walked through the shops and had lunch in a small coffee shop. After a few more hours of walking we headed back into the city and the office. I parked the car and went back upstairs. At Laura's request I took her out for dinner.

With the new job and the hassle of the car I decided to look for a place closer. If I could find one I could leave the car there and walk. I reasoned that between not having to park the car, pay gym fees or fares I could really afford a much nicer place. As luck would have it I found on two blocks from work. It was high enough up that I could hear only the muffled sounds of the city from the balcony and the view was over the water. I arranged to have everything moved and signed the lease. It ended up costing nearly $800 more; I figured it was worth it

 

Finally I made my last trip to the doctor. It was music to my ears. I was cleared to resume a "normal active lifestyle". I was free and was Debbie. I went home and just stood there in my room naked. I had seen myself naked but this time was different. I felt my pussy and imagined what it would be like to take cock in it. As of today I would be able to find out. As of today I would be able to do all the things a woman can do. I looked at myself differently now. I didn't see Debbie in transition, but Debbie the complete woman.

I was shaken by the sound of the buzzer. I answered it and told Laura to come on up. I grabbed my robe and met her at he door. You never came back from your appointment. Was everything all right? I told her like he told me "normal active lifestyle". Laura screamed and hugged me. So, how did it feel hearing that? I told her it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. Well let me see. Come on after all this time I want to see you as the beautiful butterfly you are. I smiled and slipped off my robe. I stood there and twirled a couple of times.

I know it seems silly I have been this way for a while now but I can't help it. I came home and just stood there looking at myself as if it were something new. Laura laughed a little and said she felt different and it wasn't even her.

Let's go out. I will call some of the girls and you get dressed. Who knows we may even get laid. The thought of that appealed to me and I went to get dressed. Laura was on the phone while I picked out some clothes. I don't know what came over me but when I was done I was a little shocked. I had black sheer bikini and bra, seemed stockings, a short black leather skirt a red satin blouse and five inch stiletto heels. Laura dug around and found something to wear that was nearly as hot as me.

We went to a club not far from my place. Laura assured me it was a great place. When we got in Karen, Julie, Carla and even Kate were there. I looked at Laura. Okay Kate told me and this is a set up. I joined then and ordered a drink. Debbie we have a few gifts for you. The first was a matched set of red crotch less panties and bra with holes for my nipples. The next was a blue shelf bra and matching thong. Then I got a sheer baby doll with g-string. I thank them for everything and promised I would wear them. Kate said she had to leave and wished the best. We were having a great time. As the night went on we got loader and drunker. That was when I met Bill.

***** ***** *****

Bill was a tall dark haired guy with a great build. He came over and asked me to dance. I did and afterwards went and had drink with him. I was getting pretty loose and hot as we talked. I slipped off and met Laura. I know and will take care of everything. I will see you tomorrow. I went back and stayed with Bill. It didn't take him long to get the idea that I was tired of talk and the club and offered to take me home. I found out his place was clear across town so we went to mine.

Once inside I stripped him down and led him to bed. I wanted one thing and that was his cock in my pussy. Luckily Bill wanted the same so it was fine. He had me on the bed and I guided his pole to my waiting pussy. With a single trust he buried it in me. I let out cry if joy as I pulled him close. Bill was ramming his pole into me I was moaning and crying as his did. Gawd, yes fuck me. Fuck me pussy. I want your cock in me. He drove harder and faster as he continued to plow it into me. I was bucking as he did. I wanted his cum. I wanted him to fuck me. Then with a deep trust he let loose his load. I wrapped my legs around him and held him as his cum pulsed into my wanting box.

Afterwards Bill got dressed and left. That was fine with me too. I had gotten fucked and that was what I had wanted. Now I really knew the joy of a cock and sex. It was better than I had ever imagined. I felt fulfilled and complete. Not only did I now have my body, but also had it used the way it was intended to be used. I cleaned up and went to bed with the joy of my new found sexuality.

Laura stopped by as usual to get all the sorted details. I told just how wonderful it felt to have a cock in my pussy finally. The joy it gave me to be fucked there like any woman. It was more than worth the wait and trouble.

***** ***** *****

After a week of working on the road with Kate I was ready to head out alone. Now remember no matter what they say sex is not part of the service we offer. You have seen how some of these guys are pigs. I would suggest a fake set of rings to keep the "offers" down. That is why I bought mine. Kate was right it seemed I had the chance to "go out for a drink" with half of the guys we visited. Given the way you look you are going to get treated that way a lot. Sorry, but it kind of goes with the game. I took her advice and bought a simple fake set and wore them when I was on the road.

That was where I met Robert. He owned a huge exercise place up state. I knew walking in that this was one of the troubled accounts that Kate had warned me about. It seems that Darrin and this guy had some troubles and Darrin basically blew him off. Kate had worked hard to keep the business promising that Darrin was gone and that his replacement was ten times better. I took a deep breath and walked in ready for anything.

I was shown to the office overlooking the main work out floor. The receptionist said that Robert would be in shortly. I looked at the pictures and glanced out the windows getting an idea of the place. Just then Robert came in. He was huge. His thick wavy black hair and deep brown eyes drew me in. Robert was easily 6 feet 4 and massive. His arms looked as if he was going to rip the sleeves of his shirt and his chest strained the fabric. I nearly died when I saw him.

Hello Debbie, is it? Kate said you would be coming around. Please have a seat. I sat down in across for him and let him start the conversation. As you know Darrin was a total flake. I almost feel sorry for you having to clean up his mess. Let me get to the point. I have spoken to other companies and they are supposed to get back to me. The couple that have have not really impressed me any. I would rather stay with you. Let make this easy. Her is a list of issues I have. Taken them and stop back after 6:00 tonight. It is the best time for me. I hate to brush you off but I am swamped right now. Please come back and we will talk. With that Robert walked me back to the lobby and left me there.

He was right. It was going to take some time to clean up this mess. I called Laura and Kate and we worked everything out over the next several hours. It was also decided that as a good faith effort we would charge him nothing for the next three months. Since Darrin hadn't really done anything to deserve charging him in the past six months.

That evening I came back and was shown to Robert's office. Good evening Debbie I am glad you came back. He stood and directed me toward a chair. Please have a seat. I am sorry about earlier. Between checking on equipment and salespeople I have very little free time during the day. I keep evenings for the detail things. As you can see we are busy so my staff doesn't have time to ask me questions and salespeople are all at home by now.

I went and explained how we were going to fix everything. I promised him the process had already been started. Since I had the list from earlier I went back to my hotel room and called the office. I was able to make several changes right over the phone and have my assistant working on most of the others now. I then told him that I had decided to not charge him for the next three months as a way of making the past up to him. It was getting quite late by the time I had finished my talk. Robert was quite impressed on how fast I had gotten to it.

Well, that is great, actually more than I expected. As a gift for you work I would like to treat you to a relaxing soak in our spa. I thanked him but assured him I had nothing to wear. Follow me and we will take care of that. I was led to the shop and the clerk gave me a one-piece suit to wear. My gift to you. I was then led to the locker room and given a lock to lock up my clothes. I changed and grabbed a towel and found Robert in the spa when I came out.

This is how I end everyday. It is a great way to relax and unwind. Hop in it is great. I will stay over here if it makes you feel better. I noticed that the place was all of a sudden very quiet. After we close I usually come in here for a while and just think. It does wonders and helps me sleep.

I was a little uncomfortable but also excited by the idea of being alone with him. He looked like a god sitting there. I was getting excited at the possibilities.

You look tense and stressed. Would you like a massage? Come on I will give you one. I followed not knowing what else to do. Robert led me to a room and handed me a robe. I will get ready in here you go and dry off and come back. Just hang your suit to dry. I did and when I came back he handed me a large towel. The room was lit with scented candles and there was soft music playing. I always require the room to have a relaxing feel when clients are getting a massage. Here is a towel I will step out for a moment while you get settled. After he left the room I took off my robe and lay face down on the table. I did the best to cover my naked body before he came back in. Once in he fixed the towel and went to a long table to pick some oils.

You will like this choice. It is to relax you and work away the stress. With that he went to work on my back. It was amazing how someone so powerful could so expertly loosen me up. He worked down my back. Folding my towel over to expose me to my hips. Then he started from my feet and worked up my legs. Again he carefully folded the towel to cover my hips and butt. After he was done he unfolded the towel covering my back up again.

Now roll over facing me. I will hold the towel so that it stays on you. I did just as he asked. I try hard not to embarrass anyone. Had you rolled the other way the towel could have slipped off. I smiled and thanked him for his consideration. I could tell his robe was now getting loose. Robert took my arm and began to rub my hand and then up the arm. I don't really know what came over me but as he worked up my arm I slid my hand into his robe and rubbed his chest.

As we kept massaging me I slid my hand down opening his robe as I did. I looked over and saw the biggest cock I had ever seen. I gasped when I looked at it. I ran my hand across his firm stomach and tried to wrap my fingers around his thick shaft. It was easily 10 inches and huge. I could hardly get my fingers around it. I rolled on my side to better see his pole and began to caress it. It was the biggest thing I had ever seen and I wanted in me. With out a second thought I slid off the table my towel falling free to the floor and knelt down in front of the mass of man meat.

I kissed the head of his rock hard shaft and then sucked on his heavy ball sack while my hands caressed his shaft. Then with some effort I took his mighty pole in my mouth. I had to work hard to get it all in me. I discovered that since it was so huge I could not breath once I had it all in. I would take it all down and then pull back to get a breath before taking it again. I held onto his tight ass as I sucked his cock. Robert held my hair and help guide his pole as I sucked away at it. Again and again I took him into my throat. Sucking his meat and working his massive cock for the thick cream it held. It seemed like hours before he pulsed his thick seed into me. It was great and I eagerly took it all. To keep up with the flow I had to pull until only the head pumped cum into me.

That was incredible. With a mouth like that I could give up my evening soak. Gawd, I thought I was going to pass out. I freed his softening cock form my mouth. Do you do everything this well? I got up and told him there was only one way t know for sure. With that he blew out the candles and turned off the music.

I was given the grand tour of the place as we headed back to his office. There we both were walking around the building naked. It felt a little strange at first, but I soon let it go and followed him. Once in his office he led me to a door that opened to a bedroom. I live here. I figured since I get here between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning and would leave well after 10:00 at night it was silly to have a house. He led me to the bed and in no time was ready to go again. Robert fucked me hard with his massive cock. I thought I would split in half as he buried it in me. Again his control had me hit several orgasms before he filled me with his cum. I let out a scream when he came I thought they could hear in the city. I fell asleep in his arms with the warmth of his cum in me.

Early the next morning I heard him wake me up. We probably better get you down stairs before anyone gets here. That is unless you don't mind walking around naked it front of everyone. He was right my clothes were still down in the locker room. I made my way down and heard him in the spa. I decided to check and see what he was doing.

The he was naked and soaking in the tub. I figured I had a little time and joined him. Robert had me stand over him while he fingered my pussy and ass. He seemed to be paying a lot of attention to my back passage so I decided to let him finish the night. I got down and stroked his cock. With a little coaxing I got him behind me. Robert was rubbing his tool between my pussy and ass. I finally reached between my legs and grabbed his pole and guided it towards my rear entrance. Robert lined his cock up and began to push it in. It had been a while since anyone had drilled me there and his cock was so huge I had a little trouble at first. I could feel it slowly pushing into me. I winced in pain. Robert was about to pull back when I forced myself down on his pole. Impaling his shaft I held it in me for a moment to get used to it. Then he began to slowly ride my ass. His monster cock was really working me. In no time I was squealing and meeting his thrust with my own. Trying to feel it deeper and deeper in me. I was holding on to the side and bracing myself for his assault on my ass. I begged for more as he rammed it in me. When I thought I was about to die I felt him grab my hips. With a single thrust he let loose a torrent of cum into me. Wave after wave filled me as he pounded his cock in a few times more. When he finished I went and cleaned my self up and dressed in the clothes I had left in the locker the night before. I was just finishing up when the staff came into work. They all had a knowing look on there face.

I parked my car and slipped home to change. I got back to the office and found a huge gift of flowers from Robert. I called him to thank him and planned to spend the weekend at his place.

 

After several months Robert asked me to marry him. I gladly said I would and made plans for the wedding and to leave the company. I was going to move in with him and become his wife and partner. I had Laura as my maid of honor and even Carol came back to be one of my bride's maids. It was a nice ceremony and we honeymooned it Hawaii before returning.

Laura and I had noticed that no matter how hard she tried Carol was hurt. I guess she never really figured I would have done all this and even gotten married. She tried to hide it and we let her think she was. I knew that soon I would never hear from her again. A forgotten call, a missed card and slowly the e-mails would stop. It probably was for the best though.

Laura is now our rep from the company and even moved into my old apartment. I get the chance to visit her in the city form time to time and we see her pretty often in our place. Robert doubled the size of the place and built a full apartment with the addition. The old bedroom is now a computer and storage room for files.

As for me, well, I have put away the business suits for body suits. I spend my day now as Robert's wife and partner. I can be seen on his arm in commercials. I teach a few classes and take care of his needs. After this long and wonderful trip I am truly happy with who I am. I like being his wife and wouldn't want it any other way.

  

  

  

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