The Unofficial Biography Of Kimmay

Book 2: The Nature Of Power

by G. L. Hudson

 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

 

Source: Valerie Samantha May

 

Kim's work at the University of Wisconsin had proceeded well. She had been working with Professor Barnhardt for a couple of years, and had pushed her theoretical work far beyond what most people expected. And she had begun opening some interesting doors. The problem was she was the only person capable of seeing where those new doors led. She had decided it was time to move things along. If others couldn't see the practicality of her work, at least she could. But before she could kick the doors wide open, she needed more background on the practical side of science. In the spring of 2028, Kim sent out her resume to several schools. She was interested in getting a more practical education in engineering and especially in chip manufacturing. Stanford was her first and final choice. They had the best laboratory in the country for chip manufacturing. They had received money from half a dozen different government departments and private corporations to build the facility. And on top of that, Stanford had received some expertise that couldn't be bought. Only the NSA had better facilities.

In addition, they had Professor Claire Keystone. Her credentials were awesome. While Barnhardt was the American guru of theoretical physics, Keystone was every bit his counterpart in both the theoretical and practical side of computer chip technology. She had taken computing to yottaflop speed, and she did it with manufacturing techniques that proved her genius.

Plus, she was young. In some ways she was just like Barnhardt, and in some ways his exact opposite. Age was one of those opposites. She was only thirty-five, compared to Professor Barnhardt's multiple years of experience. Older age or younger age was not the concern of Kim. She was merely intrigued by the change. She wanted to see the difference that youth brought to the table.

Kim was about to find differences that she hadn't anticipated. Professor Keystone was very aggressive and political. Her ambitions included numerous awards and the dean of the College of Engineering. Beyond that, she might be interested in setting national policy as a member of various science boards. She wasn't afraid to use people to get what she wanted, nor was she afraid of going over heads to get her points aired. She was known as a back stabber and a thief. She had once been accused of plagiarism, but the charges had been found to be without merit. Still, the rumors and innuendo followed her around.

Professor Keystone was an attractive woman. She was 5 feet 7inches, 135 pounds and had a very curvaceous figure. She had a pretty face that was framed by her long, curly, brunette hair that she had a haughty habit of flipping whenever she was annoyed or bored. When flirting she twirled her finger around a couple strands of that hair. She dressed in business suits and dresses, wore jewelry and always had a fresh manicure. Claire Keystone was never seen in jeans. She was a jogger and spent at least two nights a week at the gym. She was single and usually on the prowl; male or female, she enjoyed both. Claire Keystone was pretty and she knew it. That meant she also used it to her advantage.

In the fall of 2028, Kimmay enrolled at Stanford and became Professor Claire Keystone's protégé.

 

Excerpts from the Diary of Claire Keystone

I'd been anxiously waiting for half the summer. Ever since Kimmay had confirmed her enrollment at Stanford, I had been organizing my plans and setting up the necessary arrangements to keep her as close to me as possible. Her office was going to be right down the hall from mine. I had tried to get her into an empty professor's office next door, but that idea ended in an ugly argument with Dean Halverson. But that was behind me now, and today was the day of Kimmay's arrival. I couldn't stop running the various scenarios through my mind. My attention wandered as I looked at my clock, wondering where in the world she was. Finally, late in the morning I heard a knock at the door. "Come in," I said. Kim May entered my office. I walked over to her and introduced myself, "Hello, I'm Professor Keystone. Welcome to Stanford." I gave her my best smile. "Please, have a seat," and I pointed to a chair over by my coffee table.

Kim was everything that I had hoped for. She was small, maybe 5 foot 4 inches and probably no more than 120 pounds. She was young and she looked it. Her figure was still that of a teenager; she was small on top, her waist was very thin, and she had no hips at all. But she had a pretty face. It was too bad that she didn't believe in makeup. Even a little color would have made a dramatic difference. Her hair was golden blonde, long and permed. Unfortunately, she had it pulled back in a ponytail and it frizzed out below her scrunchy. Her nails were manicured and painted. She was wearing faded jeans, tennis shoes and a baggy University of Wisconsin sweatshirt.

She carried herself as if she didn't know how to use her body. She walked and sat as if she were a man. She had no idea how beautiful she could be, and probably no idea how to use that body to her advantage. Kim was a bit of an enigma. She had a permanent, and her hands were manicured, which takes time and money. Obviously she had some interest in showing her feminine side, but then she threw it away with her clothes and mannerisms. Odd. Maybe the hormones hadn't really kicked in yet, or maybe she just needed some tutoring. Probably the later I decided. She had spent more of her teen years with old Barnhardt than with young boys, and that old geezer certainly wasn't going to excite her hormones.

Kimmay looked around the room, but only glanced at me. While she checked out my bookshelves and perused the knick-knacks on my desk, she dropped into her chair and spread her legs. She had chosen me to be her scholastic mentor, but I could see that she needed mentoring in some other aspects of her life as well. She needed my guidance in more areas than just the academic.

"Miss May, welcome to Stanford. Are you all settled in at your apartment?"

"Almost. It took a little while, but I'll be ok." Her voice wasn't quite what I had expected. It was a bit deeper than I would have expected. It was almost sultry.

"How would you like me to address you?" I asked.

"Kim is fine." She was way too informal. That too would have to be corrected.

"Then Kim it is. I would like to be addressed as Professor Keystone when we are at school or in formal situations. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

"Everyone has heard about Kimmay," I began, "but I would like to hear about her from the source. Tell me, what do you want to accomplish here at Stanford? In fact, let's start with why you chose Stanford in the first place."

"Well, it boiled down to a couple of reasons. First, I want to get a more grounded base in science and technology, specifically engineering. I've become interested in chip technology and manufacturing, and I want to use my physics background to see if we can't push the technology a little faster. But first I need your help in learning the technical side of chip fabrication. And that brings me to reason number two; you. Your experience and reputation in chip fabrication was also very important in my decision process. Third is Stanford's resources and chip manufacturing laboratory."

"Were there any other universities in the running for your decision?"

"No."

"You didn't send inquiries to other schools?"

"Sure I did. But this was my primary choice. I had no intention of going anywhere else."

"You sound very sure of your self. Some people might call it arrogance." Kim merely shrugged her shoulders. "Personally, I like that attitude in pretty young ladies. We need more assertive women in the sciences." I gave her a warm smile. It's never too early to begin laying the groundwork, I said to myself.

"Thanks," she said, and returned my smile.

"What else are you looking for here?"

"Well, not to be too crass, but money. I've been a burden on my mother for too long. Tuitions have always been handled for me, but spending money, housing and food, have required help from mom. I hate to put so much pressure on her."

"That's very commendable and shows a lot of maturity. I understand completely. What does your mother do for a living?"

"She owns a beauty salon and glamour photography studio. She puts in ten to fourteen hours six days a week. She really needs to delegate more and relax. But she is a workaholic."

"Is that where you got your perm and manicure? They look very becoming."

"Yes."

That explained things a little. "Kim, we just met but we are going to be spending a large amount of time together. May I make a small suggestion?" She merely shook her head affirmatively. "I know you have spent most of your academic career around men. They tend to be, how can I say this delicately, slobs. They are satisfied with jeans and sweatshirts. You are a beautiful young lady. Let it come out. Show your beauty and femininity. Your hair would look much nicer either hanging freely or put up a bit more elegantly."

"I understand what you're saying, but I don't want anyone accusing me of using my sex to get ahead," she said a bit defiantly.

"Kim, no one can ever say that you haven't earned what recognition you have. I am no expert on physics, but I don't think there is anyone on this planet that can question your academic and theoretical credentials. And second, accusing you of using your sex to get ahead is a male and chauvinistic argument. We are women. There is nothing wrong with being a woman. We, I, will never apologize for being a woman or being a tad bit prettier than average. I expect to be judged on my academic abilities, and if someone wants to either judge me or think I should be judged on some other aspect of who or what I am, that is their concern. Not mine."

"I understand, my mother always says the same thing. But to be honest, it's easier to leave that part of my life locked up right now. My focus is on my education. There are certain things I need to learn. I have some ideas about what I want to do later, and I really need to build my base of knowledge now."

"That's fine that you have some specific goals, but being a woman shouldn't be a hindrance or a detriment. Who knows, it could be of help. You have goals, and there is nothing wrong with using every key on your chain to unlock the doors that need opening." I stopped and waited for her response, but she shrugged her shoulders and looked around the room. I tried another tack. "What are your long term goals?"

"I'm not really in a position to talk about them. Not yet. I want to accomplish a few things in the technical fields, but it depends on what I learn and what the laws of physics and chemistry allow. My goals are rather fluid right now."

Not likely, I thought. She has something up her sleeve. 'Depends on the laws of physics?' She wrote most of the laws. 'She has something very specific planned, and it's going to be awesome,' I thought. This is one little girl that I want to tag along with.

"Ok, maybe we can talk about that later. I can be a good listener. Are you all checked in with the Bursar and administration department?"

"No. I pretty much moved boxes into my apartment, gave my cat some water and came over to meet you. I haven't covered anything else yet."

"No problem. What little help I can give you financially is through our TA program. I have arranged for you to teach a five credit course that I give. It's Transport Phenomena for chemical engineering. It can be a little interesting at times. It will be two thirds undergraduate students and one third graduate students. It is the first tough course that the undergrads see, so it tends to be a washout course. The chemistry department always picks up a few more majors after this course. The course is more math than chemistry, so it will be a piece of cake for you."

"I took it at Wisconsin. It was a good course. You're right, it is a bit heavy on math but no big deal."

"Did you do any teaching at Madison?"

"No, none."

"Well, this will be a change for you. For some people it comes naturally, for others it can be challenging. Classes are Monday through Friday at 10:20. You will have to work your schedule around it. You have to be there everyday and on time. Any class where I have ultimate responsibility will be run punctually. Ok?"

"Ok."

"As for your docket, I understand that you want hands-on in the litho labs as soon as possible?"

"Yes, please."

"No problem, I can get you assigned to a doctorate student of mine. He is building some interesting chips right now. You can't help him, he is required to do all his work himself, but I want you to follow him around the lab. I'll make sure that he fully understands that this is part of his studies; teaching advanced students. I will want you in one of my courses on the chemistry of chip manufacturing. And finally, I want you in an independent study course with me. I have some ideas for it, but you and I can hash out more definitive goals in our first session."

I stood, walked behind my desk and sat down. I pulled open my personnel file drawer and grabbed Kim's file. I had already prepared a list of instructions, schedules, books and other details for her, and I handed her the pertinent forms. "You can take these to the Bursar's office and get formally enrolled. This is your daily schedule." I took out a large three ring binder and set it on the desk. "These are daily assignments, syllabus and talking points for each of your Transport classes. I expect you to know them inside and out. Now, let's go get you an office," and I walked around front and wrapped my arm around Kim. "I think we will have a great relationship Kim. I have nothing but respect for everything that you have accomplished."

I continued to throw accolades her way as I walked her down the hall towards her empty office. She felt very young with my arm wrapped around her shoulder. I looked forward to expanding our relationship.

When we reached her office I explained who to talk with concerning office supplies, computer IDs and passwords, AV-phones, nametags and all of the other accoutrements of the academic world. "I think you have enough to do for now, Kim. Please see me if you have any questions on getting set up. Don't forget to get to the Bursar's office today. Unless you need anything sooner, I would like to see you tomorrow at 9:00. And if anything comes up today, anything at all, come see me. I'll be in my office until 5:00. Welcome to Stanford, I foresee great things for our little team," and I shook her hand before leaving.

I walked back to my office and leaned back in my chair. I was sure that Kimmay was going to be the catch of a lifetime!

 

On Tuesday morning Kim showed up right on time. "Kim, welcome. Come in. Do you drink coffee?"

"Just a little."

"Good, do you have a mug?"

"No, I haven't unpacked one yet."

"Well, let's get you one. It's probably just as well you haven't unpacked yet. I'll bet you have a mug with a badger on it, don't you?"

"Actually, I do. They do like their badgers over there. I know things are going to be different here, and I admit I am a bit of a stick in the mud at times, but I will miss that place. They have a pretty wild student body. They can make even sour-pusses like me laugh."

"Kim, I am sure that you are no sour-puss. And if you are, we will just have to fix that. Here is a mug." I handed her a new Stanford mug from the cupboard in the department kitchen. While she made up her coffee, I tried to make her feel more comfortable. "Kim, look at this as not only a new academic start, but also a chance for a new start socially as well. No one here knows you as a sourpuss, now is the time to leave that attitude behind you. You can break any mold that you want. You can let your hair down figuratively and literally. In fact, I would urge you to let your hair down. You're growing up, and now is a good time to leave the little girl ponytails behind. But that is your personal choice of course." I had decided that I would take every opportunity to cajole and urge her to change her appearance to something a bit more mature and feminine. She could be a very pretty girl if she tried.

"Now let me give you a tour around the building. We'll start up here and introduce you to our staff. I think you will not only find that we have an impressive and scholarly staff, but they drink beer on Friday afternoons. You're too young for that part, but it is a good opportunity to get weekly gripes off your chest and meet your peers."

I took her around the building, all five floors, showed her the labs, the classrooms and I introduced her to everyone that we met. It took a full three hours to see the complete building. I brought her back to my office and sat her down in a chair while I sat at my desk. "Excuse me one minute while I check for urgent messages. Are you hooked up to the Intranet yet?"

"I don't know. They promised to get me hooked up sometime today. I don't know if they've been over to my office yet."

"I'll tell you what, let me buy you lunch at the student union and then we can come back here. I'll handle my messages then, and you can check your progress also. After that, I'll drive you out to the litho lab and show you around there. You're going to be spending a lot of time out there." I hit the security button on my computer and closed it down, then walked over to Kim. As she stood, I again put my arm around her shoulder and started leading her to lunch.

"So Kim, do you have a car or bike?"

"No car, but I do have a bike."

"You're going to need it. It's two miles over to the litho lab, a little too far to walk. Not that two miles is a long way, I jog three to five miles every day. But during the day we don't have much spare time. We need to get around as fast as we can. That bike will get chilly this winter. There is a bus that goes that way every ten minutes. Did you get a faculty bus pass from administration?"

"No, I didn't."

"When we get back remind me to make a call. You're going to need it. So tell me Kim, how did you get around campus in Madison?"

I turned the rest of lunch into a Kim biography lesson. I asked her about every little thing that I could think of, and I kept her talking the entire lunch. I wanted her to loosen up a bit and become comfortable talking with me. I paid for her lunch and introduced her to people as they stopped by. After we finished lunch I kept her sitting at the table talking. What did you think of Professor Barnhardt? I understand you stayed at his home. Was it a nice home? Was it big? What was his wife like? You went to Cambridge. Was that your first plane trip? Was the trip long? Did you get nervous driving on the wrong side of the road? What did you think of Professor Blasingham? Did you get to see much of the campus? What was the best part of the trip? What was the worst? Would you like to study or teach there someday? You've been published. How many publications do you have? How many awards have you received? Did you go to the receptions at the awards banquets? Do you like being in front of an audience? Are you looking forward to being in front of a class? Do you think they will listen? Do you think you can earn their respect? What would you do if a student asked a question that you couldn't answer?

I made her talk and talk. The questions concerning teaching and being in front of a class weren't idle questions. I had deliberately given her the most difficult class to teach. This was a washout class, and many of the undergrads were going to be overwhelmed. One truism about overwhelmed students was that they whined and complained. She was going to hear a lot of that, and she would have to learn to make excuses for all of the time they would constantly want to take from her busy day. And as bad as the undergrads would be, the graduate students would be worse. Some of them came with topnotch credentials and this course was going to knock them down a peg or two. They would be begging for grades and demanding a break. This was not going to be easy. It wasn't easy for experienced professors, and she was a neophyte. She would eventually need my personal help. It couldn't have been a better set-up.

We returned to the engineering building and both of us checked our computers. Kim's had arrived, so she spent the next hour sending her new e-mail address out to her old friends. I stopped by about an hour later and picked her up for the rest of the day's tour. At the litho lab I again introduced her to everyone we met, including the custodial crew. I took her into every laboratory that I could, and I helped her into a clean suit for a visit to one of the clean labs. We finished up around 5:00. I had never spent that much time with a graduate student and TA. But then again, I had never had a graduate student like Kim. I was really looking forward to the coming semester.

For the remainder of the week I saw little of Kim. I was busy getting ready for the start of school and so was she. I would make a point of seeing her for coffee in the morning, and I always bought her lunch. But the rest of the time we were both busy. Friday afternoon I stopped by her office at 4:00.

"Kim, we have a tradition around here on Friday afternoons. Anyone who is available stops by the local bar for a drink before calling it a week. Students are welcome and it gives everyone a chance to get a little stress off their shoulders. It is very informal and like I said, most people show up if they can. Would you care to join us today?"

"Ahhhh, it sounds like it might be interesting, but I'm not twenty-one."

"Not to worry, you're with me. I can get the staff to look the other way, but I must ask that you don't partake of the adult beverages."

"Not a problem, I've never had them and I don't think I would care for them anyway. But there is one other little problem." She rubbed her fingers together to denote money.

I laughed, "Not a problem. I know you're short. I'll buy. How many cokes can you drink?" I gave her a big smile.

"You might be shocked," she joked back.

"Great, it's a date then. I'll give you fifteen minutes to wrap things up, and then I'll come pick you up."

I walked Kim over to the Library Bar & Grill and we sat down at a long table against the back of the room. We were the first ones to arrive, and that was something I never did. I wanted other people waiting for me, but today was different. I ordered a small glass of white wine and Kim ordered an MD. We chatted for a few minutes before people started walking in. There were no students yet, so it was a relatively small group and we had a nice time.

There was no shop talk, which was unusual for us. Mostly, everyone wanted to talk with Kim. Kim was probably the most famous graduate student we had ever had, and everyone wanted to talk string theory and energy tunneling with her. A few of the staff thought they were fairly knowledgeable about the theories, at least in an educated amateur context, but Kim blew them away. They were literally in awe of her. So was I. She obviously deserved her reputation. I could almost imagine the meeting between her and Blasingham. It would have been great to see that blow-hard humiliated by her. He had such a high opinion of himself that he probably got regular nose bleeds from the altitude. I was sure that Kim had pulled him back to terra firma.

We spent about an hour there and then left for home. I gave Kim a ride back to her apartment. "School starts on Monday, have a good weekend. If you need anything Kim, call me. I'm usually at the office for a good part of Saturday, but you can call me at home anytime you want." I gave her a big smile. "Don't worry, your going to do great. Bye."

 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

 

Source: Valerie Samantha May

 

The weekend was long and lonely. Kim had only Andromeda to keep her company. She sent several e-mails to mom and me, and said that she thought she would like Professor Keystone. She was a pretty woman, but very intense at times. Mom would like her; she kept telling Kim to dress more femininely. Mom did like that part. She hated seeing Kim wearing jeans and sweatshirts.

Kim unpacked and arranged her apartment. It was a one-bedroom apartment and subsidized by the university. Many of her fellow TAs were in the same complex. She hadn't met many people yet, but she knew she would. She was on the ground floor and that made things easier to move in and out. It was also easier for Andromeda. She was worried about letting Andromeda outside by herself, since many of the other TAs had dogs and they let them run loose at times. She kept a very close eye on her best friend.

Kim didn't have much money, so she spent the weekend studying. As soon as mom heard that she was short on money she dispatched a couple thousand dollars to Kim's account. Kim was appreciative, but told mom that she was going to try and make it on her TA salary. Mom told me later that it would be impossible to live on just a TA salary, but she knew Kim would try very hard. At the age of eighteen, Kim was trying to prove she could handle the independence she now had. Mom was constantly worried about her, but didn't want to stand in her way. It was very tough time for mom, especially knowing that Kim was on some government watch list.

 

Monday was Kim's big day, and she was nervous. She started early and was in her office by 7:00. She reviewed her teaching assignment and visited the classroom twice before class started. She had too much coffee that morning and realized that she was more nervous and edgy than she should have been. She promised herself not to drink so much coffee again. Professor Keystone stopped by and dropped off some instructions for their first independent study class, and then wished Kim good luck.

"Go slow today. Check roll, review the syllabus and lay out the ground rules. Let them know approximately when tests will be, your policy on homework, your office hours for visiting and help, and get the day to day details spelled out. It sets the ground rules for the students, and makes for an easy discussion to get warmed up. Don't try to go too fast. Their computers can record everything you say and write on the board, but their minds don't work that fast, especially the first day or two. Take a deep breath and relax. You'll be fine." She gave Kim a pat on the shoulder and left her to her nerves.

Kim's first class wasn't a tremendous success, but it wasn't as bad as she thought. She was nervous and she had to shuffle through papers several times to get the information that she needed. She ran through roll and found two unregistered students. After class she sent them off to the dean's office to straighten out their registration. She covered computer passwords and Intranet information so they could find course work on the school's computer system. And after that she had fifteen minutes left to start a lesson and assign reading.

Afterwards she left the classroom and went back to her office. She plopped in her seat, totally drained. The emotional effort was much greater than she had expected. Coffee and nerves had taken more out of her than she had expected. Professor Keystone picked her up early for lunch.

"How was the first class, Kim?"

"Much harder than I anticipated."

"Why, did you have any problems?"

"No. It was just more nerve wracking than I thought it would be. I got flustered and couldn't pull out notes as fast as I wanted. I think they even snickered once or twice as I searched through my pile of papers to find schedule notes and computer IDs. It was tiring."

"Hey, don't be so hard on your self. You didn't set the building on fire or blow anything up, did you? No students came running and screaming out of your classroom. Trust me, the first day is tough but it gets much easier very quickly. You can do this."

"I'm sure that you're correct, but right now I'm a bundle of nerves." Kim was able to emit a small laugh and smile.

"Well, let's get your mind off this morning. Let's get something to eat and then we can talk about your independent studies work. I have a couple of ideas and some different directions that we can go. I want to know exactly what you are after, and we can decide together what your first semester will cover."

They went through the cafeteria line and each picked up a small lunch. Once again, Professor Keystone insisted on paying and Kim resisted. "You won't be getting paid for another two weeks. I know you need money to eat at home, so I'll help a little. Academia won't make you rich and you have to start dirt poor. Its tough and I know it. Just smile and say thank you Professor Keystone."

Kim smiled and said, "Thank you Professor Keystone."

They sat down at a small table and began their meal. "Ok Kim, I know you have some goals in mind. Let's forget about the basics and the history and all the initial studies that we subject students to, what do you really want to learn about chip manufacturing? Where do you want to end up?"

"I want to know how to fabricate geometric shapes of just a few molecules, using inorganic atoms to form a superconducting circuit. Also, I want to be able to set up superconducting magnets. I know work has been done along those lines since 2000, but I don't know how successful they have been."

"In other words, you're looking for some specific knowledge. I suspect that you have some specific ideas about what you are going to do with these also." Professor Keystone remembered how tight-lipped Kim had been during their first discussion along these lines, but the Professor was getting very interested. She was going to push and probe as much as Kim would let her. "It would help if you were a little more specific on what you want to make."

"I'm not real sure. I think learning how to fabricate these types of materials would be a good first step. Then what we could do is maybe fabricate different geometries and sizes to see what happens."

"Kim, you're not making this easy. If I knew what the end result should be, we might decide there are other and even better ways to get there."

Kim tried to not answer a different way, "Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I shouldn't be concerned with final performance anyway. Really, all I need to do is see if that chemistry can be fabricated. I should learn how to lay brick and mortar before I try and build a house."

"Ok Kim, you win. We will set up a project to research the chemistry and see if we can lay down the atoms and molecules in a coherent and precise geometry. But Kim, I want to ask one non-specific question. I'm really curious, and if I don't get an answer then I will step aside and let you find a different advisor. Do you or do you not have a specific goal for this? When all is said and done, do you expect to accomplish something specific?"

Kim sighed and shook her head yes. She refused to vocalize her answer. Professor Keystone watched her. "You can't even say yes?" Kim shook her head no.

Kim ran off to attend one of her required classes at 1:10, and afterwards she returned to Professor Keystone's office. They spent the rest of the afternoon in the library starting their research. Normally Professor Keystone would have suggested starting points for the research and sent the graduate student off to the library. But this was new ground for her also. She needed to get an overview so that she could aim Kim's talents more precisely. Their first session was in front of the library computers.

 

Excerpts from the Diary of Claire Keystone

Kim's first class went fairly well from the reports that I received. She was very nervous and concerned about the level of her performance, but it was adequate. The rest of the week she slowly became more acclimated to standing in front of a class and directing the lesson. Much of the lecture was slogging through math equations on the computer board. While it made perfect sense to her, the class wasn't able to follow the math fast enough, nor the reason for the math. They couldn't connect to the physical problem being worked out. This was the nature of Transport Phenomena. It had nothing to do with Kim or her teaching style. It was a math-oriented course and the math led the physical applications. The graduate students had had some heat and mass balancing equations in their undergraduate work, so they were in a better position to see the forest from the trees.

It was only one week and none of the students had panicked yet. Attention was beginning to drift in class, but that was normal. The pace was too quick and the students would have to study their computer notes back in their dorm rooms to fully understand the day's lesson. No one was coming to Kim's office for help. The difficult part of teaching this course hadn't started yet.

Kim had three classes of her own that she attended and claimed were no problem for her. The first was a chemistry class that I taught. It was too early to tell if anyone was excelling or falling behind. Another 'class' was what I called a tag-a-long. She was to follow a doctorate student around the litho lab and learn what she could. It was mostly an orientation class, providing an opportunity to learn where equipment was kept, how to schedule time on the equipment, how to check out chemicals, how to arrange safety precautions and proper disposal of those chemicals, how to cook and anneal chips, how masks worked and where to run quality checks, and on and on. It was all hands on practical experience so that when the student was ready to actually perform real work we didn't waste time going over protocols and fundamentals. The class was zero credits, so that indicates what we expected out of it.

Her third class was the independent studies class. I had reservations about how I had set it up. I had never given a first time student any leeway on choosing the specific subject or how to manage it. But with Kim, I let her lead for two reasons; the first reason being Kim's reputation. She was recognized around the world as a genius in theoretical physics. Very seldom did such people feel cross-disciplinary training was important. They tended to stay in their chosen field. Kim was different. She was completely alone, and she was traveling across the country to attend school as a beginner. I had to respect that. I could also see that she had something very specific planned for her future. It was becoming obvious that she wanted technical knowledge to build upon her theories, to accomplish some type of extraordinary breakthrough. The fact that an eighteen year old wouldn't even discuss the project was exceptional in its self. Most kids would be bragging and making bold predictions. I was intrigued by what she had up her sleeve, and I certainly wanted to tie my wagon to a rising star of such potential and magnitude.

The second reason for allowing her so much flexibility was to force her to work closely with me. I was intrigued not only by her academic appeal but also with her personal appeal. She had a great deal of potential and I wanted to help her reach that full potential. It would be good for both of our careers. And I anticipated that it could be very enjoyable.

I wanted to invite her over to my house for dinner that weekend but I decided to let her have one more weekend by herself. It was unlikely that she was going to meet anyone new, and another weekend alone would make her appreciate some company and friendship just that much more. I also decided not to go to the Friday afternoon faculty get together. The reason, again, was to leave her alone.

 

Week number two started out fine. I caught Kim in her office early Monday morning and invited her down to the kitchen for coffee. "How was your weekend?" I asked.

"Boring. Not much to do. I'm probably three weeks ahead in my class assignments. I spent some time at the library following up on some of your leads. I sent them over to you on the Intranet. Plus I found a couple other potential leads. The rest of the time Andromeda and I chatted on the Internet."

Good I thought. She will be more than willing to come over for dinner this weekend. I extended my invitation and she accepted. All was proceeding as well as could be expected.

That Saturday she arrived at 5:00. I hadn't started dinner yet, so we spent the next hour together in the kitchen. I was sipping a glass of chardonnay and offered her some, but she politely declined. I was going to prepare Cornish hens with potatoes and carrots. Kim offered to help prepare the salad.

"So how did your week go?" I asked.

"Not too bad. I think I'm finally getting the hang of teaching."

"How is your class behaving?"

"Ok I guess. I notice that the absenteeism is picking up. There are a couple of groups that seem to be just turning their computers on, then chatting among themselves."

"Are you getting any questions?"

"Just a couple. They seem to be opening up a bit more, and asking a few more questions than before."

Things would be changing in a week or two. After the first quiz and test, general student moral would start dropping and some kids would start worrying. The frustration level would start creeping up and it would start to show up in the classroom. It would happen. It always happened. And of course, I could always help it along.

"How about the rest of your work? How is it going?"

"Well to be honest, other than our independent studies, everything else is a bit boring. I don't mean to say that your class on chemistry is boring, it just isn't very challenging."

"How much chemistry have you had, Kim?"

"The equivalent of two semesters of analytical, two semesters of organic, two semesters of thermodynamics and P-chem."

"I see. You have a very strong background. My class is aimed as much at electrical engineers as chemical engineers. Maybe I need to rethink the mix; add in more chemistry. Thanks, I'll think about that." Most of the students already complained about the pure chemistry side of the class. I would have to think long and hard about making it more difficult for the EEs.

"And how about the time over at the litho lab? Is that also boring?"

She was a bit sheepish but she admitted that it was boring. "I think it was a great idea as far as orientation and learning the practical side of how to work there. But I'm not allowed to do anything. Scott is good at explaining what he is doing, and he takes me everywhere to see what he is setting up. But it is boring just watching. I wish I could actually do something."

"Ok, I hear you. Let's think about what you could do there. What if you worked with one of the technicians instead of Scott? You could do hands on work then. You would probably see a broader range of activities since the technician would be running several different projects for a couple different professors. The only problem would be safety and work rules. We don't have a union but we are very rigid when it comes to safety, and for good reason. We had a nasty accident a couple of years ago and no one wants to see a repeat. Let me check with the director and see if she has some suggestions. The hours might be a little more erratic though."

"That's fine with me. I would love to get more hands-on experience."

I had finished stuffing the hens and the oven was almost up to temperature. I decided to change the subject. "How are you settling in at your apartment?"

"Everything is moved in and all of the boxes are unpacked. The apartment is still pretty empty. Andromeda has plenty of room to roam."

"Andromeda? Who is Andromeda?"

"She's my cat. And she's my best friend. In fact, she is the only friend I have so far."

"That's not true, Kim. I'm your friend … if you will let me."

"Thanks professor. That does help. It's tough moving across country by your self. I'm hoping I will meet more people as I get settled in at school."

"Of course you will meet more people. The first couple of weeks are always the most difficult because people are still getting adjusted to their new surroundings. It will happen. And by the way, if we are going to be friends, when we are away from school or at home please call me Claire. I would like that much more than Professor. Ok?"

"Sure. Thanks Claire. It will be hard for me at first, but I'll try. Claire." She giggled. She was beginning to relax and become more comfortable.

The oven was up to temperature, so I slid the hens in the oven and set the timer. "I set the timer for thirty minutes. The hens will take forty-five minutes, so when the timer buzzes we can sit down and get started on our salads. Let's go in the living room and relax. Before we sit can I give you a tour of the house?"

"Sure, I always like to see peoples' homes. Maybe I can pick up some decorating ideas for my apartment or home someday."

I began the tour taking her through my bedroom, pointing out the bathroom if she needed it, and showed her my office with all of my awards and plaques on the wall. I admit it. I was trying to impress her. We walked back to the living room and sat down. I took another sip of wine.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Wine, soda, juice?"

"Nothing, thanks."

To keep the conversation moving I said, "I down loaded an old Krysallis movie. I thought that maybe we could watch a movie after dinner." Krysallis movies were hopelessly romantic movies. They were always classy movies with Krysallis wearing elegant gowns, with impeccably coiffed hair and perfect makeup. She was one of the legends of the silver screen. Kim surprised me with her answer.

"I'd love to see one of her movies, she has always been my favorite actor. And before she started in movies, I loved to see her in all of those advertisements that she did when she was modeling. And I follow her Senate career like a hawk."

"I thought she had fallen out of favor with the younger generation. How did you become such a big fan?"

"I've known her ever since I was a little girl. She was in mom's wedding."

"Wow, I'm impressed," and I really was! "She has always been one of my favorite actresses and models. So tell me the truth, what is she like? Is she as classy and beautiful off camera as on camera?" I really was interested.

"Absolutely. She is probably one of the most honest and sincere people I have ever met. She will do anything for a friend." Kim stopped, and I saw a tear in her eye. I guess she really did take care of her friends. I wanted to ask what Krysallis had done for Kim but she continued, "Not only was she in my mom's wedding, but she stayed a few extra days and did all kinds of promotions for mom's new salon. She called in radio and television stations, did interviews, autographed pictures, had her picture taken with all of the beauticians and clients. Mom said that she made mom's salon a success. Within months she had more clients than she could handle. Mom was told that no salon had ever risen to such success in such a short time. And Krysallis did it all free, which is pretty amazing because at the time she was getting over $50,000 per day for appearances. I think she spent two or three days with mom."

"That's pretty amazing for such a superstar to do that."

"Oh, that wasn't all. She would stop by every once in a while when she was in the Midwest and make more appearances. She asked her fellow models to also stop by when they were in the Milwaukee area. Kristal, that's her real name, even stays at our house when she is in Milwaukee. She is awesome."

"How did your mom and Kristal meet?"

"When Kristal turned sixteen, her mother said that she could put together a portfolio and see if she could make it as a model or actress. Mom shot her photo portfolio, which is what she sent out as part of her auditions."

"Your mom must be very talented also."

"She is, but not as talented as Kristal. Kristal was also a music wunderkind when she was only four or five years old. She has all kinds of talent."

"Is she as beautiful off camera as on camera? I know lots of celebrities are very average looking without makeup and the correct camera lighting."

"Not Kristal. She is just as beautiful without makeup as she is with makeup."

The buzzer went off in the kitchen. "Darn," I said. "I would really like to hear more. I have lots of questions for you. Krysallis is probably my favorite actress, and you know her personally. I am really impressed and envious."

We entered the kitchen and we started filling our salad bowls. "Kim, weren't you a music wizard when you were young?"

"Sort of, I won a few competitions and made a recording when I was seven or eight. It was mostly Bach and I performed on the largest organ in Wisconsin. The CD was ok for an eight year old."

"Did you sell very many?"

"Not enough. We never got rich." She laughed about the money.

"It sounds like you and Krysallis have a lot in common. It sounds like you were both very talented in several ways."

"Yea," she said. "We have more in common than anyone knows." And she gave me one of the most enigmatic smiles I had ever seen. This girl had more depth to her than I ever imagined.

A few minutes later the buzzer went off a second time. We set our unfinished salads aside and I pulled the Cornish hens out of the oven. They were golden brown and looked delicious. I was hungry and these looked like they would hit the spot.

I served Kim first, and we continued our chat through the meal. I couldn't let Kim's last comment remain without some follow up. "So what other ways are you and Krysallis similar?"

"Oh, a few other areas. She was very good in math also. Did you know that?"

"No. I don't know if anyone does."

"Oh yes. She gave up music to concentrate on math and was a wizard at it. She was branded a wunderkind in math also. She was a double wunderkind," Kim giggled. "And you know, some how I think there is a connection between us. I don't know what it is, but I think there is something there. She visited us when I was around eight or so. I had decided to quit music and concentrate on math. I hadn't told anyone, not even my sister Valerie, that I was thinking of quitting music. Then Kristal visited us one weekend. We were sitting around talking and out of the blue, Kristal asked me if I was quitting music. Since I hadn't told anyone, and maybe because I was only eight, I said no. And she wouldn't believe me. Somehow she knew I was quitting music and starting math. It was really weird."

"That is amazing. You both started out along the same paths, and those paths were almost identical."

"And not only that, we have the same type of cats. We both have a black cat with one brown and one green eye. Beat that," she said.

"You two certainly are amazing. So is your goal to follow her into modeling and politics?"

Kim laughed at the idea. "Not a chance. I will never be half as beautiful as Kristal. And I am still more interested in the natural sciences than the political sciences."

"Kim, don't sell yourself short, you are a beautiful girl. You might be developing later than Kristal is all. If you tried I think you could be much prettier. Jeans and sweatshirts aren't that becoming."

"Yes, mom," she said a bit sarcastically. But she also said it with humor and warmth. "I guess I'm not quite ready for gowns and pearls. Maybe someday."

"I hope so, Kim. I would love to see you in a gown and heels with your hair put up. There is nothing lovelier than a pretty girl." There, I said it. At first I was afraid that I had been too forward. But she didn't show any concern about my comment. The rest of the evening my mind kept going back to those two sentences, trying to see any reaction in Kim's attitude to my comments or me.

We finished dinner and I set the dishes in the sink. We retired to the living room where I turned the lights down low and we watched Krysallis in 'International Affaires'. It was another heartwarming and fun picture by Krysallis. I really loved her pictures, and now I knew one of her best friends. It had been an interesting evening.

I gave Kim a ride home and called it an evening. A successful evening.

 

CHAPTER NINETEEN

 

Collected from the Department of Energy using the Freedom of Information Act

 

Getting out of his chair, Allen Kurtland Secretary of Energy, stretched his legs. Looking around the room he admired the history that was evident in the portraits on the wall. Dusk was setting outside, and he was getting tired. Allen and his right hand man Brian Kaliber were at the White House. Yellow streaks of light filtered through the window as they cooled their heels outside the office of Mr. Raymond Clover. He was known as a tyrant, bully and SOB. Ultimately, as the political advisor to the President and his White House Manager, Clover was probably the most powerful figure in Washington D.C. Daily, the business of the White House was run by Clover – everything was run by Clover. Solely by himself, he cleared every visitor for the President, often being a much more astute interviewer than the President. One lobbyist after another learned the power, and the personal preferences of Clover. No one ever made it all the way to the President without providing the proper deference and gifts to Clover.

Clover was into power games, and one of his favorite games was making people wait in his anteroom. In fact, it was even more fun to stack appointments two or three deep in his waiting room so they could stare at one another. And the ultimate fun was stacking up people who hated one another. So Clover decided this would be a good day to do just that. He left Allen Kurtland sitting in his anteroom with William Starr, Secretary of Defense. Not only did Kurtland and Starr hate each other, but they were two of the most powerful players in Washington. And both of them had to sit and wait for the penultimate power of all, Mr. Raymond Clover.

Kurtland and Kaliber were finally welcomed into Mr. Clover's office over an hour late. Clover wasted no time with formalities. "Gentlemen, good to see you. Have a seat." Clover stood to shake hands, but he stayed behind his massive desk. The desk had several elaborate gold and crystal ornaments. One ornament was a huge eagle and another was a replica of the USS Constitution. On the walls he had baroque paintings of war scenes. Gifts bearing the insignia of various aircraft carriers and battleships adorned the walls. He had pictures of himself shaking hands with generals and admirals and heads of states. Almost every picture had someone wearing a military uniform. Clover had never worn a military uniform, but he loved his pictures – and his fantasies.

"It's been a long time since we've had a face to face. It really is good to see you, Allen," he lied. "Sorry, but I don't have a lot of time today, I have meetings up the wazoo."

"Yes, we met Mr. Starr outside," Kurtland said.

Good, thought Clover. He knows his buddy has the last chance to sway my opinion. He'll have to give me everything he has. "Allen, give me an update on the situation in the Middle-East."

Kurtland explained the latest intricacies in Qatar and Saudi Arabia; who was spreading nasty rumors and who was pocketing a little too much graft. Graft was an important commodity for these men. They essentially controlled the world's oil trade and they demanded their due deference from the princes and kings of the now defunct empires and kingdoms around the world.

"Keep the pressure on him," Clover said. "I never liked the little punk. What are long term prices looking like?"

Allen gave him a quick preview of next week's presentation on Capitol Hill. Supplies were tight; a rough winter was being forecast. Prices could go up two to four percent.

They covered a couple more routine, but very important topics. "Very good Allen. I'll give the President my high regards for your progress to date. Now Mr. Kaliber, I understand that I have you to thank for settling a rather nasty bit of business."

"All in a day's work, sir." He sounded so humble. He now had four deaths to his credit, all in the name of the United States of America, the Department of Energy, oil and money. Kaliber had recently finished some negotiations with a couple of Israelis who were trading U.S. secrets for oil. The negotiations had come to a satisfactory conclusion; but for only one of the involved parties. The Israelis were no longer involved in much.

"Don't be so humble, Mr. Kaliber. The President knows that you have served your country with honor and distinction and he asked me to present you with this small token of his appreciation." Clover handed him two small boxes. One contained a medal, the other a pair of perfect, two-carat diamond earrings for the lady of his choice. Kaliber was twice divorced with three children. "Now Mr. Kaliber, would you please give me a quick overview on your surveillance targets?"

"Sir, as you know my department is screening technologies that have the potential to impact the energy situation and balance throughout the world. We have identified four potential breakthrough technologies. First is hydrogen. While tremendous effort is underway in this arena, we have managed to stifle two new ideas that had potential. Both involved catalysis of fuel cells."

"Mr. Kaliber, this may all be very interesting to you, but I have neither the time nor interest to delve into the details of your job. Just give me the executive summary."

"Sorry sir." This was Kaliber's first review for Mr. Clover. "Of the four areas that I was reviewing, three have been effectively neutralized. One of them has had some minor repercussions from the French, but then who gives a shit about the French?" The three of them had a good chuckle.

"And the fourth?"

"Uncertain sir. The field is energy tunneling and multi-dimensional physics. Quite frankly sir, this is an area that is on the bleeding edge of technology. Our people say that there is definitely potential there, but it requires a breakthrough. Usually we don't worry too much about breakthrough technology, but in this case there is some reason to be concerned."

"Quit beating around the bush. You don't know something. Admit it and move on. As long as you realize and admit that there is potential, you're not being derelict. What is it?"

"Actually sir, it's 'Who is it?' and her name is Kimmay. Without a doubt this girl is a genius. She was pushing this technology into some rather scary areas, and then she up and quit. She moved to Stanford and started school as a low-life engineering student. She quit the high-energy physics work and as far as we can see she lost interest."

"Kimmay. I've heard about her. She might have the talent, but certainly not the sophistication to do us much harm. We can stop anything she comes up with before she can spread it." Clover leaned back in his chair and looked at Kaliber. Kaliber looked him straight in the eye. He was a brave soldier. Let's see if he has any smarts, Clover thought, "What do you think Kaliber? Recommendations?"

"I agree to an extent, Mr. Clover. Typically I would never see an eighteen year old girl as a threat. But I have learned a few things out in the field, and the most important lesson is never ignore any threat, no matter how small … or how young."

"Spoken like the man has some experience," he said to Kurtland. Kurtland smiled but kept his mouth shut, which was probably the best thing that he could have done. "Continue, Brian."

"Simple surveillance, sir. We already have her covered by the NSA and other national resources. But I would also recommend first hand contact. I don't trust her. I would recommend a little closer look."

Mr. Raymond Clover leaned back in his luxurious chair and folded his hands behind his head. He looked up at the ceiling as he spoke. "And do you have anyone qualified for such an assignment, Brian?"

"Well, we have a couple of people who might be adequate for this sir."

"Now, I don't want this screwed up," and Clover used those words deliberately. "If you are right, this nubile, young girl may pose some level of concern to these here United States of America. I want someone I can trust, Kaliber. Who would that be?"

"You can trust me, sir."

"Good, then just handle her yourself." Mr. Raymond Clover, political advisor to the President and White House Manager, had just given Mr. Brian Kaliber permission to go screw some little eighteen year old physics girl. If she had been a guy, and his name had been Todd Reimer, they would have ended the whole thing right then.

Brian Kaliber had other thoughts. 'Handle her yourself' he repeated to himself. He had one more piece of information that he conveniently kept to himself.

 

CHAPTER TWENTY

 

Source: Valerie Samantha May

 

I knew that Kim was getting lonely, being at school by herself. I was glad that she at least had Andromeda. I never knew what an important role a pet could play in someone's life, but I was beginning to learn. I was starting to think that I needed a cat also. They had to be more reliable than the boy-friend I had broken up with two weeks earlier.

When Kim e-mailed me and said that she had spent an evening with Professor Keystone, I was relieved. I found it ironic that their favorite topic of the evening had been Krysallis. This Professor Keystone must be a pretty good person if she was a Krysallis fan. I was happy that Kim had an opportunity to spend some free time with Professor Keystone and I was hoping that either their friendship would grow, or Kim would start making other friends. I really felt concerned for her.

But things soon started working out for her. Monday after class, a student came to Kim for some help. She knocked on Kim's office door to announce her self. "Miss May? My name is Amanda Carson. I am in your Transport Phenomena class. Could you spare a few minutes?"

She was a very pretty girl, probably twenty-three or twenty-four years old, short and very slim. Her jet black hair had a beautiful shine and it hung well past her shoulders. She gave Kim a little smile when she asked for a few minutes.

Kim was immediately captivated, and perplexed. The girl looked very familiar. She couldn't put her finger on the exact reason, but she was sure that she had met this girl before. Maybe she had seen her in class and it hadn't registered on a conscious level.

"Please come in," Kim said. "Take a seat here," and she pointed to one of two chairs that looked like they had come straight from a garage sale. "What can I do for you?"

Kim spent more time looking at her than listening. She knew that she had seen this girl before, and it was driving her crazy as she tried to remember where. "I'm in your Transport class, as I said, and I have a question if you don't mind."

"Please, go right ahead and ask. That is why I am here."

"The first question is a little off topic but I have to ask. I hope you don't mind."

She had the most beautiful smile, and Kim couldn't resist her. Kim returned her smile. "Please, ask."

"You are Kimmay, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am Kimmay."

"Some of the other students didn't think so, but I was sure. I am such a fan of yours. I have followed your career for several years now. I wanted to change my major to physics and follow in your footsteps, but it didn't take long to realize that I wasn't smart enough. But I have to say that I am honored to be your student."

Kim started laughing. It was the best laugh she had had since coming to Stanford. Amanda Carson was worried that Kim was making fun of her, and it showed on her face. "I'm sorry Miss Carson. That just hit me as kind of funny. I feel totally lost out here. This is my first teaching assignment, and I feel like more of a student than I do a teacher. I feel honored that you're my student. I mean, that you are still my student. You haven't gotten up and walked out on me. I mean … look I'm younger than you are. You have more experience than me."

Kim was starting to ramble. Amanda Carson just sat in the chair and looked at Kim. She wasn't sure if she should laugh along with Kim or leave. She folded her hands and laid them on her lap and waited for Kim to say something. The situation became a bit awkward and finally Kim broke the stalemate. "I'm sorry Amanda, did you have a question?"

"Yes. I just asked it."

"That's it?"

"No, not really. I wanted to ask you, well, not ask you, I mean rather than ask you I wanted to just talk with you. But I don't know what to say. I am a big fan of yours. I have your CD, the one with you playing the organ."

"I'm impressed. I didn't think too many people had made the connection between Kim May the musician and Kimmay the physicist."

"I did." She looked down at her folded hands again. She was obviously excited to meet Kimmay, but too shy to carry a conversation. She looked at Kim for a little help.

Kim was watching Amanda and caught her eye when she looked up. It took a second for Kim to register what she was seeing. Amanda had one brown and one green eye. Kim was intrigued. "Excuse me, I apologize for bringing this up, but you have two different colored eyes."

Amanda broke into a broad grin, probably because Kimmay had spoken to her or was opening a path to a conversation. For whatever reason, Amanda broke into a smile. "Yes, I have. Mother said that I had an aunt who also had two different colored eyes. I never met her, so I wouldn't know first hand. But I guess it must travel in the family genes."

"It's rather unusual. I have a cat with one brown and one green eye."

"How nice." The conversation hit another speed bump and died. Amanda sat for a couple more seconds and then announced, "I'm sorry to have bothered you. I just wanted to confirm that you were indeed Kimmay. I am honored to be in your class and I shall work very hard. It's time I go."

Kim liked her. She wasn't sure what it was, but they seemed to have a kindred soul. "Amanda." Kim stalled for a moment not sure what to say. "Amanda, I enjoyed talking with you. Stop by again, won't you? Maybe we can just chat."

Amanda's eyes opened as wide as her smile. "I would love to. Thanks. Thank you very much, Miss Kimmay." She turned and bounced out of the room, off the ceiling and a couple of walls. Amanda was in heaven!

While school was starting to settle into a comfortable routine, Kim's social life was still rather sparse. You would think that a world famous celebrity would garner more attention than she was receiving. On the other hand, she was only eighteen in a world where her peers were in their mid to late twenties. But Kim didn't perceive the TAs as her peers. She felt more like a student; and a young student at that. She was as much out of place as any other freshman. The difference was that she wasn't staying in a dorm and mingling with other freshman. The lower her social life sunk, the more she thought that she had made the wrong choice on accommodations. She had wanted the independence of living on her own and she hadn't thought about the social aspects of living in the dorms.

Kim had wanted to go as independent as possible, but she was now starting to realize that she was a social animal. She really appreciated the invites to Claire's house on weekends. Those visits were saving her sanity. But there was another person that she was starting to think about; Amanda Carson. Kim had run across her a couple of times in the library. They would talk briefly, and then head their separate ways. For some reason Kim liked her. Amanda seemed to have a screw or two loose, but that just made her more interesting. Kim needed more friends and Amanda was the only other person who had really made an effort to talk with Kim. Kim decided that she needed to make more of an effort to reciprocate with Amanda.

But there was one problem. Amanda was a student of Kim's. It didn't seem right to Kim, but she felt that she would have to keep an arms length distance between herself and Amanda. Life wasn't very fair. And it was getting less fair.

While Kim's own studies were going well, her teaching was becoming more difficult. Her Transport Phenomena class seemed to be out of control. She was lecturing, but the class didn't seem to be paying attention; at least not as much attention as she would have expected. She had given the first test and half the class had flunked. She knew that this was a possibility, but she was very upset when it happened. Kim never failed at academic challenges. Not as a student, and she thought that if she were a good enough teacher, she (her students) wouldn't fail either. But they were. And they were starting to complain.

"You're going too fast." "You don't explain the math well enough." "The math is too hard." "You don't explain the connection between the math and the actual problem." "I can't see the relevancy to the problem." "This isn't real world engineering." And on and on it went. The students would come to her office for help, but mostly they came to complain. The undergraduates couldn't understand the math. The graduate students couldn't find the application value. No one wanted to work harder though. It was starting to sound like it was her fault; she wasn't explaining it right. It was frustrating to Kim. She felt that she was losing control of the class.

Claire sensed Kim's frustration, and brought it up at their Saturday night dinner. "Kim, how is school going? It's been six weeks now. Do you feel any more comfortable?"

"Yes and no. The student part is ok. I don't have any troubles with any of my classes. Actually, it looks like we may be making good progress in my independent studies class."

"I think so, too," Claire said as she popped open a jar of olives. "In fact, I think we might want to start ordering materials. We might be able to get into the lab by Halloween."

"That's great," Kim said. "But the other part, the teaching part, doesn't seem to be going so well. I feel like I'm losing control. The test went badly. Two thirds of the class got Fs and Ds. I was surprised they did so poorly. Almost no one had come to me to ask for help. I have noticed a lack of concentration in class and more absenteeism, and I suspect there will be a rash of dropouts this next week."

Claire wasn't surprised. She had written the test and had made it very difficult. That was the purpose of the class; weed out the engineers from the wannabes. "It's not surprising, Kim. You knew this was intended to be a washout class. The reason you didn't get many students asking for help is because they didn't know what the tests would be like, or how you would grade. Many of these students have been in tough classes before, only to find out the university wanted their money and made the tests and grades student friendly. At this level, all of that changes. Now we have to sort out the students who can actually make it as engineers and those that can't."

"I realize that. But I thought the students themselves would have more initiative and perseverance."

"Now you're seeing the real world, Kim. You are an exceptional individual. No one has your intuition and intelligence. You've been coddled throughout your career. Pass that garlic powder and paprika, please. I don't mean to be negative when I say coddled. What I mean is that the best minds at the schools you have attended have personally worked with you. They have given their best people to you, because you needed that level of teaching. So all you have seen are the best academic minds in the world. Now, I am sorry to say, you are seeing the average college student."

Claire took her large knife and started butterfly slicing the scampi. "Standardized test grades have been dropping for twenty years. They even 'dumbed' down the tests and it still didn't help. The Federal government got involved many years ago and messed up everything. Kim, never let the politicians get involved in anything you do, I guarantee they will screw it up. Except for Krysallis, I don't think there are any intelligent people left in Washington."

Claire added a little white wine to the skillet and watched the alcohol quickly boil off. "Anyway, as the government became involved rules started accumulating and controlling the flow of money to the states and local school districts. The rules required student proficiency testing. So to make sure that the districts received the needed money, they started teaching to the tests. That's all fine and good, but guess who wrote the tests? Do you thing it was academicians who wanted to push the students in their academic studies? Hardly. We had conservative, right wing religious fanatics writing the tests. They controlled the government so they wrote the tests."

The scampi were placed in the skillet. "Kim, you missed a lot of this because you jumped over the elementary and high school. I saw a study a couple of years ago, and would you believe that on the junior-level high school proficiency test, there were more questions concerning religion than science? That is why you have such a problem with the quality of your students."

"The scampi are ready, how's the rice?" They sat down to dinner, and Claire continued her diatribe, "Kim, it's becoming more and more frustrating to teach. Believe me, there are some really intelligent kids out there; we just have to find them and nurture them. While I'm on my soapbox, I'll tell you another problem that we have. Tuition and other costs. We lose some very good minds to money, because they can't afford to attend school."

"But for the talented kids, there is always scholarships," Kim pointed out.

"True, but there are a couple problems there also. How do you get scholarships? You have to do well in school. And what classes do they emphasize in school? Not science and math, but religion and civics and political science. And political science is just another word for propaganda. So the math and science talented kids are over looked for many of the scholarships, especially if they aren't right wing, fanatically religious, and politically correct. Many of the science kids are geeks, and they don't fit into society's conformist roles."

Claire was falling behind Kim with her meal, but she had one last point to make. "And the other point about scholarships concerns the other side, I mean the loans. I read once that many years ago, long before our times, kids could get summer jobs and part time jobs and make enough money to pay for their school. They could actually go to school with no scholarship or loan, and graduate four years later with no debt. That's impossible today. You can blame it on tuitions being too high, or you can blame it on an economy where wages have fallen way behind, but the blame is immaterial. Some kids don't go to school because they don't want to spend the rest of their life in debt.

"Nough said. How did I do on the scampi?"

"Delicious," Kim pronounced.

Kim left Claire's house feeling only slightly better that night. She realized that she wasn't to blame for the poor performance of her students. But it didn't make it any better. And she still wasn't sure how to handle the students that she would have left after next week's dropouts.

 

School turned for the better and the worse for Kim. The better part was Amanda Carson. Amanda had one of the few As on the Transport Phenomena test. She was stopping by Kim's office three or four times a week just to say hi. She asked a couple of questions concerning class, but Kim realized that she was using the questions as an excuse to stop by and just talk. Kim was glad she came by. Their stilted conversations were starting to open up and become more relaxed.

They were also bumping into each other in the library. Kim started to formalize her library schedule so that she would be there day after day at the same time. In turn, Amanda started to show up more regularly also. Amanda even helped Kim look up some of her research. Amanda knew her way around a library and actually found a few items that Kim would have struggled to find.

Their friendship was growing slowly. After their library studies, they started to stop at the student union to catch a soft drink and continue their conversations. Kim was finally starting to fill up some of her spare time with the company of other people. More than once Kim mentioned in her e-mails that life was becoming more comfortable and she gave much of the credit to Amanda and Clair.

The worst part concerned Kim's teaching. Not her teaching per se, but the students that she was teaching. Many of them were starting to realize that they were in academic straits. While some could drop the class and pick it up later or change majors, others weren't so lucky. They started showing up at Kim's door asking for help. They were getting frustrated and sarcastic. Most of them whined and complained rather than exert themselves and study harder. Kim found the classroom becoming more difficult to control. Some students were actively complaining during class, and asking stupid questions merely to slow down the tempo of the lectures. They would talk among themselves and tardiness was increasing. It was getting out of control and Kim didn't know how to bring everything back under her control. She was losing the class and their respect.

Professor Keystone could see this happening and had expected it. She knew that she had thrown Kim into the toughest teaching assignment in the department, and she had done it on purpose. She wanted to force Kim to come to her professor for help. Professor Keystone was hoping that it would pull Kim closer to her, and give her more control over Kim. And hopefully, with the professors' help, Kim would feel grateful and strengthen their friendship. Professor Keystone had wanted Kim from the first day that she had heard Kimmay was considering Stanford. Kim's fame could only help the professors' fame and name recognition among her peers. On her climb to the top of the academic and political world, 'Mentor to Kimmay' would be a useful addition to her resume. This was all part of her plan.

Knowing the difficulties facing Kim, Professor Claire again invited Kim over for a Saturday night dinner and movie. Claire had decided on crab legs for dinner, which made the evening preparations very easy. It would allow more time for a heart-to-heart talk. They were both sitting at the kitchen table when Claire broached the subject.

"Kim, how is school going?"

As expected, studies were good but teaching wasn't. Claire had heard this for a couple of weeks, but tonight she would finally help. "Why do you think that is?" Claire asked.

"I'm not sure," said Kim. "I suppose some of it is due to their frustration with the difficulty, the pace and the grades."

"No doubt," Claire agreed. "Those are things that you can't change. No matter who was teaching that class, those same problems would still be present. But let me ask you this, do you think I or one of the other tenured professors would have as much trouble with the kids? Or to put it in even finer focus, do you think Professor Barnhardt would have this problem?"

"Probably not," Kim conceded.

"Why not?" Claire asked

"I'm not totally sure. I just don't see anyone mouthing off to Professor Barnhardt."

"But why not? Would they be afraid Barnhardt would come flying across the classroom and slap their face? Do you think I would have to do that?"

Kim started laughing. "What is so funny?" Claire wanted to know.

"I'm sorry," and Kim stopped laughing. "I was just imagining Professor Barnhardt flying off the ropes of a wrestling ring, landing on top of a student and wrestling down the stairs of the lecture hall. I'm sorry, it was a stupid thought to pop into my head," she apologized again.

Claire had to grin. This was a serious discussion of great importance for her, but it was a funny picture. "I can't see myself ever doing that either," as she grinned with Kim. "But again, why don't you think that I or Professor Barnhardt would ever have to stoop to such a tactic?"

"Because you are better teachers and the students wouldn't have come to this situation?"

"No, that's not it. We all have the same troubles with students who don't listen or get frustrated or disrupt the class. Come on Kim, you know why. Think."

"I don't see it," she said.

"Ok, let me ask you this way; who is more likely to have this problem, me or Professor Tenable." Professor Tenable was the newest professor in the department.

"Professor Tenable."

"And what is the difference between Professor Tenable and me?"

"Well, there is age … experience … reputation …"

"Stop there, Kim. Reputation. What reputation? Why is my reputation different than his?"

"You are known by all of the students as one of the leading experts in your field. You have written books and papers, you have been published many times, and you have received awards."

"That's all true. Now, what does a reputation buy you?"

"Respect?"

"Bingo! That is what we're looking for Kim; respect. Respect buys you all kinds of things. And one of the things that respect buys is civility and control. If I were teaching the class, we would still have the same problems with grades and frustration, but I would have less classroom problems because of respect."

"So how do I get respect?"

"There are a couple of things that we can do. Let's look at where respect comes from. First, there is intellectual intimidation," Claire said.

"How do you mean?" Kim was getting interested.

"Simply put, I know more than you; much more than you. Therefore, you can't argue facts with me. And even better, every one else knows that I am smarter than you. You have to defer to me intellectually. It might not help out on the streets, but this isn't the streets. This is where intellectualism means something. So, you are smarter than they are. That's one big ingredient."

"But I am smarter than them. They know that. If I didn't know more than them, I wouldn't be teaching."

"But how much more do you know? Part of your reputation is what goes ahead of you. You haven't taught here before. Their peers haven't had classes with you. There is no spin out in the student body that says you know your stuff, or you don't know your stuff. You have to prove yourself to earn your reputation."

"But I have a reputation, and not to be too modest, it is pretty significant," Kim pointed out.

"You sure do. I know your reputation and I have nothing but respect for you. The rest of the staff knows who you are and your reputation. No problem there. But the students don't know. Didn't you say that one of the students wandered into your office one day to ask if you were Kimmay?'

"Yes, Amanda Carson asked me."

"Which means that most kids don't know who you are or how big of a reputation you have. And your reputation isn't in the field of chemical engineering. As far as the students are concerned, you're an expert in astrology. Cutting edge physics means very little to them."

"Ok, so I don't have a reputation, how do I change that?"

"Well, before we start working on fixes, let's cover all of the possibilities." Claire paused and took a sip of her chardonnay. She thought that she was getting her points across to Kim. The conversation was looking positive.

"Another way to get respect is through physical intimidation."

Again, Kim started grinning. "Do you think I need to bulk up?" she giggled.

"You're not making this easy, Kim," and Claire started grinning also. It had just dawned on Claire that she would get much farther with this lecture if she lightened up and used a bit of humor.

"There are two types of physical intimidation. One is pure physical size; muscle and brawn. No doubt about that. But there is another type. It is more powerful than the first by several orders of magnitude. Beauty. How many times have you seen in movies, or even personally, a big strong man melt in front of a beautiful woman?"

The light went on in Kim's head. "Oh, you're right. But that only works with guys, what about girls?"

"Kim, you know better than that. It works with women too. Maybe the mechanism is a little different. The actual mechanism might be envy or jealousy or fear as in competition for someone's attention, but the end result is the same. Pure, feminine beauty is one of the most powerful weapons in the world. And it is available to you."

"But aren't we back to the issue of me using my sex to get what I want?"

Claire was a little frustrated. This seemed to be a large stumbling block for Kim. She was too naïve. "So what? Kim, you are a woman. Right? Why hide that fact? It's not like you're going out there to seduce everyone. Heavens no, that is not what this is about. It's about respect. Do you think Professor Barnhardt goes around saying, 'I'm really smart, but just ignore that. I'm a regular guy like the rest of you'? Absolutely not! It is understood and continuously emphasized. Everyone uses their power and strengths to get what they want. You can use your beauty and femininity as much or as little as you want. But it is a powerful weapon in your arsenal, are you just going to throw it away?"

"You make a good point," Kim conceded.

"Of course I do. It's not your job to go out there and level the playing field. It's your job to teach those kids, and they respond to respect and power. You aren't going to get through to them any other way."

"Ok. I understand what you are saying and I buy the argument. But simple beauty alone doesn't solve the problem. Bubble-headed bleach blondes don't earn intellectual respect. How do I handle that part?"

"There are two ways I can help you do that. First, I can announce that you are the famous Kimmay and I can tell everyone how smart you are."

"Won't that be a little transparent?"

"It doesn't have to be. I can come to your class and apologize for making my formal welcome so late in the semester. I'll announce who you are and I'll cover just a few of your credentials. In addition, I'll announce that you will give a guest speech to the entire College of Engineering. We'll announce it through the Intranet and I'll have every professor in the department announce it in every one of their classes. Remember the first Friday afternoon discussion we had at the Library Bar & Grill?"

"Yea, everyone wanted to talk about energy tunneling and string theory and multi-dimensional travel!"

"Exactly, the staff would absolutely love to hear your speech. I don't care if not a single student shows up. Every professor from the Engineering, Math and Physics department will be there. That alone starts discussions about the world famous Kimmay. The students will hear soon enough. If you have the respect of all of the professors, and you do already, the students will follow. They just have to find out."

"I could give a speech," Kim agreed. "It's not difficult for me to come up with a couple of discussion items."

"Good. And before I formally welcome you in front of your class, I'll test you."

"What?"

"I'll sit in front of the class and 'surprise' you with my attendance. I'll start asking you questions about the day's topic. And I mean I will test you hard. I'll ask the toughest questions that we can come up with. And since you will know every question that I am going to ask, you can wow everyone with your answers. I can then publicly acknowledge your expertise and that will also enhance your reputation. Then I can make my welcome speech."

Kim was thinking about everything. Claire had made some pertinent and powerful points to Kim. Claire sat there, not saying a word. This was an important first step. Claire wanted to earn Kim's affection and gratitude. Plus if it worked, Kim would start dressing and acting like a young lady rather than a jeans clad student.

"Claire, it would be wonderful if you would do all of this for me. I don't know how I can thank you."

"You can start by helping me with the dishes," she smiled.

Kim hadn't lost her sense of humor, "That's asking a lot Claire. Maybe I should reconsider your offer."

Claire threw a dishrag at Kim. After finishing the dishes Claire wanted to tie up a few loose ends before their movie. "Kim, let's talk about changing your image. I don't think it would be a good idea if you showed up on Monday wearing an evening gown and tiara. It would be way too obvious."

"Plus, I don't have one," Kim smiled. Kim had started acting a bit giddy and Claire took that as a good sign. It was like Kim had thrown off a great weight and was starting to relax.

"You should start slowly. I would suggest getting rid of the jeans immediately. Start by switching to dress slacks or a long skirt. A calf length denim skirt would be one good option. You could also wear long broom skirts. I would recommend a skirt one day and dress slacks the next. In three or four weeks, drop the slacks and stay with the skirts. After a couple more weeks, start changing from the longer skirts to shorter skirts and maybe even business suits. For tops, you can immediately start with sweaters and slowly change to blouses."

"Ok," she said.

"Then there is makeup and hair. Kim, we both know that nothing is more powerful than a short skirt, plunging neckline and bright lipstick," she gave Kim a devilish grin. "I'd hold off on the short skirt and plunging neckline for now, but you should start wearing lipstick and maybe a bit of blush. Maybe even some light eye makeup. You should let your hair hang loose. It still has some perm left in it, and will look pretty if you let it down. Stop wearing ponytails; they're too girlish. And you might want to start wearing simple earrings, like hoops or studs."

"I like your ideas. They make sense, but I have a little problem. I don't own any skirts or dressy sweaters. And I have very little makeup."

"You will also need better shoes. Sneakers aren't acceptable. I know money is tough. Here is what I would recommend. Let me take you shopping tomorrow and buy you an early birthday present. We'll buy you a skirt, a pair of dress slacks and two sweaters. I'll also buy you a little makeup. Tomorrow is Sunday, so none of the consignment stores will be open. After school on Monday, I'll take you to the consignment shops. I know some better ones where you can get some nice clothes at a fair price. This is college after all; you don't have to have expensive clothes. Tasteful and feminine clothes will go a long way for you. What do you think?"

"I think you are being way too generous. My mom sent me some money a couple of weeks ago, and I've spent none of it yet. I can afford to buy my own clothes, but I like your plan and I would really appreciate another opinion when I go to buy the clothes."

"Kim, I would be happy to help. And whether you like it or not, I will buy you a small birthday present tomorrow. Not because you need the monetary help, but because it's what I want. Monday after your class, come to my office and let's work up a list of questions for your Tuesday class. I'll make my welcome speech then. Also on Monday, I want to put out an invite for your lecture. We can check with the secretary and see when the big lecture hall is available." Claire gave a sigh as she thought she had finished the list of things to do. "What do you think, Kim?"

"I think I could give you a big hug."

That was the best response Claire could have hoped for.

 

(continued)

  

  

  

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