Part 10: There She Goes

 

Two-Point-Five Women

by P.S. d'File

 

I'm afraid I don't have that many stories to tell about my last year at university. I was incredibly shy and did not dare to venture out often. Leaving as a skinny, dark-haired boy and returning as a large-breasted blond girl would do that to anyone, I suppose.

I'd already spent a couple of months or so like this before my friends Kat and Lisa-Mae - the girls who did this to me - announced that I was to spend a whole year as a girl. Those two became my only friends. Everyone else I knew, I contacted only on email if at all. It was the only way I could avoid recognition and difficult questions.

Luckily, the man who would have been my supervising professor had retired over the summer, so Kat and I would do a joint thesis with his replacement, a middle-aged female professor of social sciences.

Maybe Kat had planned it all along, but the thesis was all about gender roles and role reversal.

We settled into a new routine in which I spent a lot of time indoors. My chastity tube had been on for so long that my libido had all but vanished. When you don't see your penis for so long, let alone get an erection, I think your body simply gives up and moves on.

I even stopped seeing my huge breasts as alien oddities. They were part of my body and I didn't normally see anything out of place about them. I just accepted them the way they were and got on with life. I could barely remember a time when I didn't need to wear a bra.

Things didn't work out perfectly (not that my current situation was perfect) all the time. There was the occasion when the battery in my voice-altering collar went dead in the middle of a tutorial group meeting, and I had to pretend that I had a head-cold before pretending to be ill until I could replace it.

Thankfully I lived far enough from the rest of my family that visits (unexpected or otherwise) wouldn't be a problem. I excused myself from going home at Christmas and other holidays and stayed in touch on the phone or by email. Meeting any of them in person was quite out of the question.

In my claustrophobic little world, I became attuned to living with females, and could sense when Kat and Lisa-Mae had their periods. I stayed in the background when they invited other people into the apartment, and became miserable and frumpy. I didn't see myself as a girl. I wasn't a girl. I didn't want to be a girl. But I had no way out.

"Miserable and Frumpy"

  

   

Towards the end of the year, things picked up a little. I think I could see the end was in sight. I wouldn't stay like this forever.

Kat and Lisa-Mae took me out clothes shopping and encouraged me to put on make-up and dress up a bit more. We made a few early-morning visits to the college gym when it was quiet and I got back in shape, losing the flab I had built up over the fall.

It paid off, too. Around the campus, I got compliments from other girls I knew from the course. When I was out and about with Kat or Lisa-Mae, there were even a few guys who would raise their eyebrows and flash a welcoming smile at me. I had no interest in them, of course, but it just added to my feeling of general well-being. Everyone wants to feel like they're attractive.

This ended up becoming a positive-feedback loop. The more people who treated me as attractive, the more I wanted to dress up and look good. In a few short weeks, I had completely turned around and was ready to start going out and socializing again.

 

 

 

 

	"I wanted to dress up."

   

 

The first Friday night we went out again, I was persuaded to venture out in a tight latex dress and gloves. Lisa-Mae had a similar one in blue, while Kat opted for latex pants and a bustier. We looked hot, and I knew it.

With my new-regained confidence, I strutted the sidewalks to the clubs and adopted a sultry, feminine pose on the stool next to Kat and Lisa-Mae. When Kat went off to get the first round of drinks, a couple of guys tried to hit on Lisa-Mae and me. I took charge and gently suggested they look elsewhere.

Another guy tried chatting me up after Kat returned with our cocktails, and I felt confident enough to flirt with him a little before letting him down and slink away.

"Heartbreaker!" Lisa-Mae whispered merrily.

"Cock-tease!" Kat scolded with an evil grin.

"Better than staying indoors yet again, isn't it?" I said.

"Certainly is," Kat agreed, "It wasn't easy getting you out again, petal."

"What do you mean?"

"Um... well, there's an old psych story from the fifties, I don't know if it's true or not, but it served as an inspiration," she replied.

"What story is this?"

"Well, there was this psychology professor who was explaining behavioral modification theory to his class. Back then, they were all young men taking the class, and he had the notion of conducting an unofficial, impromptu experiment on a randomly selected girl on campus. He instructed his class to find a plain girl and just act nicely towards her. So, they would pay her compliments once in a while, or smile and say hello. Just anything to give her attention and make her feel good about herself. Sure enough, once this started, she began looking prettier. She bought better clothes, and started wearing make-up. She became more confident and other people started reacting to the 'new' her."

I stared back at Kat.

"And you... did this to me?"

"It broke our hearts seeing you so miserable," Lisa-Mae said, "We wanted you to feel good about yourself."

"All we did was mention it to two other girls on our course," Kat said, "After that, we left it alone. Everything since then has been other people reacting to you. You really are an attractive blond woman."

"My God," I breathed.

"You're a babe again!" Lisa-Mae grinned, patting my leg.

"Hot property!" Kat agreed, before asking me to go get the next round of drinks.

Three guys tried chatting me up: one on the way to the bar and two while I was waiting. I suddenly felt very self-conscious again.

"Hot property!"

Well, life got better after that. I was happier about myself, happy enough to go out more often and carry on pretending to be a girl. The thesis Kat and I worked on went very well, our professor giving both of us some extremely encouraging feedback on our insights.

We also had to start gathering revision notes for our final exams. It brought home just how soon our wonderful, sheltered student lives were going to come to an end.

Kat invited Lisa-Mae and me back to her place for Christmas and New Year.

It was on a dark, rainy evening in the week between the two when, in the course of emptying a bottle of vodka, Kat and Lisa-Mae decided on a finals exam of their own, just for me.

"Do you really want to be turned back to a man?" Kat asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"You're sure you don't want to try out being a woman just that little bit longer?" Lisa-Mae asked.

"Positive," I said, "I want to start my career as a man and go on like that. I could live without any of the extra confusion that comes with changing gender."

"Very well," said Kat, "but there is an issue with that."

I suddenly became very, very alert.

"Which is...?"

"Daddy was willing to pay for my implants, which I gave to you instead," she said, "but nothing about having them removed."

So, it came down to money? I had to pay to have these breasts removed? Which I didn't even ask for in the first place?

The girls must've seen the look on my face.

"Lisa-Mae and I have agreed to cover the costs of the removal operation," Kat quickly added, "but..."

My breath caught. But what? Lisa-Mae and Kat both took deep breaths as well.

"We want you to earn it. Prove to us that you can be a straight girl."

"How?" I asked quietly, sure in the knowledge that I wouldn't like the answer.

"By choosing a boyfriend and going all the way with him," Lisa-Mae replied.

I flushed with anger.

"That's blackmail!" I snarled.

"Sweetie, only you, me and Lisa-Mae would know the truth," Kat said, "and I will be able to help set you up at the start of your chosen career as well. I have a lot of contacts through my daddy."

"It's nothing you haven't done already with Tina," Lisa-Mae added.

"It's not the same," I said, "Mentally, I've categorized Tina as a woman, not a man."

"It's not a small thing, paying for this," Kat said, "If you want to pay it yourself, then you can."

"How much?"

Kat named a figure that was far, far beyond my reach.

"Oh, Jesus," I choke, and tried not to cry.

"We'll help you out in a big way," Kat said, "But we want you to take it yourself that extra level for us."

"This isn't fair!" I wailed.

"No, it's not," Lisa-Mae agreed.

"But it's the only way. Prove to us that it's worth it. That we really have been able to turn you into a woman."

"When it's all over, we might even help make you feel like a real man again," Lisa-Mae winked.

"Oh, Jesus."

My mood kind of soured the rest of the evening. I got horrendously drunk and woke up with a hangover that took another day to clear.

	"New Year's Eve"

By New Year's Eve, I was feeling hollow and worn out. I knew the price of freedom and it scared the hell out of me.

We dressed up in our shiny, slinky, tight dresses and greeted the guests as they arrived.

There were several couples, a few single girls and a handful of guys.

The couples I could ignore, for the most part. I talked to the girls and found it easier to get along with them than I would have done if I had been more obviously a boy. As the evening wore on, though, many of them paired off with some of the guys I'd spent the early part of the party trying to avoid.

Of course, lurking at the back of my mind was the idea, the insidious seed planted in my head, that one of these young men could possibly represent my path to freedom. They were going fast, though - they all seemed to know the girls and were pairing off fast.

I had to get a few more drinks first.

There was one guy who'd arrived on his own who'd caught my eye a few times during the evening who hadn't been paired up with anyone yet. He seemed innocent enough, especially once my judgment was nicely clouded by alcohol. Every time our eyes met, it was like he knew me.

I was in the kitchen pouring myself another drink when he came in and introduced himself.

"I'm Chris," he said, shaking my hand. I told him my name and asked him if he wanted anything to drink.

"Rum and Coke if there's any left," he said.

I poured him his drink and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he said, and gave me a broad, familiar smile, "So you're one of Kat's college friends?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied shyly. Oh God, I thought, I'm now acting like a girl who wants to have sex with this boy, but without wanting to look like I'm desperate. I felt ashamedly feminized.

"How about you?" I asked.

"Oh, I knew Kat when she was just starting and I was in my last year," he replied easily, "Quite a remarkable young woman, isn't she?"

"She certainly is," I said with understatement and took a gulp of my drink, wondering how easily and quickly I could get him to fuck me. Repulsed, I tried not to choke on my drink.

He was about the same height as me. He wasn't macho, or domineering, or out to impress. He seemed comfortable with himself. He was the kind of guy who, if I was still male, I could imagine myself becoming friends with. Maybe I should just talk to him and get to know him? Or would that make it worse?

"Well, I really like her choice of friends," Chris said and raised his glass, "Cheers!"

We clinked glasses. He kept his eyes on me, making me feel as though he was just as interested in me, too. There was something reassuringly familiar about him, a sense of deja vu I couldn't quite place. We chatted in the kitchen for a while exchanging the usual basic information about ourselves.

Just before midnight, Kat invited us up to the roof to watch the fireworks in the garden.

It was very cold. It felt freezing. Like the other girls, I was wearing nothing more than a thin veil of spandex on my skin. I shivered in the cold.

Chris, standing behind me, put his drink on the balcony and rubbed my bare arms. His hands were warm.

My breath caught. I was drunk and not sure how to react. As a male, I wanted it to stop, but I needed the warmth, and I was starting to view him as 'the one'. I stumbled back slightly, and he caught me, putting an arm around my waist.

His body was warm. That felt nice. But the part of my mind struggling against the alcohol, trying to reassert my sexuality, was most unhappy.

I trembled nervously.

Chris took that as a cue to rub my arms again. His fingers occasionally strayed to my breasts. My nipples jutted out in the cold. I leaned back, hoping to share some of his body heat.

Someone in the crowd began the countdown.

"Ten!"

Everyone else started at nine. I joined in at five.

"Four... three... two... one..."

The fireworks all launched up into the sky and burst into bright colors amid a riot of deafening noise and we cheered at the top of our lungs.

Immediately, people began kissing each other.

I turned around and looked into Chris's eyes. The intent was there, but I was just too shy.

"Um," I began.

"It's okay," he grinned, and hugged me close, pressing my breasts against his chest, "It feels more honest this way, anyway."

"Thank you," I whispered. Our faces were just inches apart.

People started singing their own mis-heard versions of 'Auld Lang Syne' and began to head back downstairs into the warmth.

	"Reassuringly familiar."

Lisa-Mae saw Chris and I standing together and grinned at us.

I knew I had to try to keep him interested somehow, but I didn't want to do everything tonight. Or did I? It would get it over and done with, but it seemed a bit fast.

"Uh, thanks for keeping me warm," I said.

"Yeah, I know how it feels," he said, and led me back downstairs.

We held hands for the rest of the evening while Kat offered to let people crash overnight.

Could this be a chance to get Kat and Lisa-Mae's deal over and done with, I wondered. I actually found I was disappointed when I overheard Chris telling Kat had to go back home.

"What do you think of..." I heard Kat say, and I just knew that she was talking about me.

"She's the cutest thing ever!" Chris chuckled.

I was sick with nervousness and hating myself for trying to arrange another date with him (Gay! Gay! I screamed in my mind), but I asked for his phone number. Kat's eyes opened wide with delight.

"Wow, you two really hit it off, tonight," she observed as she opened the door for him.

"Kat's got my number," Chris told me, "And yours is the same as hers, right? I'm sure we'll meet again."

"Really?! Oh, that's wonderful!" Kat enthused, "Well, aren't you going to give him a goodbye kiss, sweetie?"

I swallowed nervously.

Chris took the initiative and stepped close. I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You can do better than that!" Kat chided, "You're right under the mistletoe as well!"

I took a breath, suppressed every emotion and kissed him on the lips. I felt his hand gently stroke my breast as we moved apart.

"Until next time," Chris said with a knowing smile, "It was a real pleasure meeting you tonight!"

And then he was gone.

I sagged with a bizarre mixture of relief and disappointment.

"I need another drink," I announced.

Once the other guests had either left or gone to Lisa-Mae's room or crashed in the living room, Lisa-Mae and Kat interrogated me in Kat's bedroom.

"So, is he the one?" Lisa-Mae asked.

"You are going to meet him again, aren't you, petal?" Kat said,

"We'll have to make sure you keep in touch."

"What did you think of him? Is he nice?"

I told them I thought Chris was unthreatening and friendly enough.

"Could you kiss him on the lips?" Kat asked.

"Maybe..."

"Tongues?" Lisa-Mae asked.

"Uh, if I have to," I replied.

"Could you imagine what it would be like letting him touch you anywhere?" Kat asked, "Dressed in anything at all?"

"Um, I think so..."

"Can you see yourself going to bed with him, though?" Lisa-Mae demanded.

Under their increasingly intense scrutiny and non-stop questions, I eventually caved in and after much prevarication said, "Yes."

*

Kat and Lisa-Mae both made sure that Chris and I stayed in touch, by phone or email at the very least. They also began a campaign of reawakening my sex drive, teasing and tickling me, denying me full pleasure unless I asked for the vibrator. They made damn sure to turn me on and make me desperate enough to want it, until I had to plead them for it.

The four of us met again in January, and went out for a meal.

I had a few lunches with Chris in the weeks after, and found out a little more about him: he'd finished working as a model late last year and was settling into a 'proper' job that his qualifications had prepared him for.

"The modeling was a distraction, but a fun one," he explained, "I don't think there's any longevity in it though. I met a girl who helped put that in perspective for me. There's only so long you can be something you're not."

I agreed with him wholeheartedly on that point.

"What sort of jobs did you go to?" I asked, determined to find out if he'd seen me modeling at one of the shows as well. I was determined to find out if we really had met before, but none of the ones he mentioned sounded familiar.

We went out on more dates, and went to the clubs around the city, but I was always a bit coy with Chris and we never got further than light kisses, hugs and me sitting on his lap. This frustrated Kat and Lisa-Mae intensely.

"What are you doing to that poor man?" Kat demanded, "He's hungry for you!"

In March, a funfair arrived in town, and Kat set up another date for the four of us again.

"Look, our last semester is going to be taken up with preparing for our final exams and finishing our thesis," she said, "So for your other final test, it should be tonight or never."

"Once you graduate from your alma soror, you can worry about your alma mater," Lisa-Mae said.

"Alma Soror"

They picked a strapless bustier for me with matching lingerie, gloves and a miniskirt. They teased and tormented me mercilessly in the shower, making sure I was horny and primed for going out.

"We've got some basic rules to help the evening along for you," Kat announced.

"Oh, God!" I moaned.

"First, you're going on every single ride with him," Lisa-Mae said.

"Okay, I think I can do that."

"Second, you're not going to put on any more clothes. The only warmth and comfort you're getting is from him," Kat said.

I sighed. Well, it worked at New Year.

"Third, you're not allowed to hold onto any of the handle bars on the gentle rides," Lisa-Mae explained, "Only onto Chris. That should get you closer."

"I guess that won't apply to the rides that go upside-down?" I asked. She shook her head.

"And lastly, in the tunnel of love, you are going to kiss him, on the mouth, with tongues. I want to see your lipstick on his lips," Kat said, "Once that's done, we can take you back here for your last test of womanhood."

"Oh... boy," I exhaled. I found my nerves taking over. I trembled.

"Hey! Every girl gets nervous about popping their cherry," Lisa-Mae reassured me.

"Some boys do to," I added.

"Every girl gets nervous..."

Kat drove us across town to Chris's place to pick him up. We got to a car park near the fair and went in to the bright lights and loud music and screaming from the rollercoaster and thrill rides.

"You must be freezing!" Chris exclaimed, rubbing my goose-bumped arms.

"I am," I told him.

"Which ride do you want to go on first?" Lisa-Mae asked.

And then it began. We started on the merry-go-round, in which Chris sat close behind me on a sculpted pony that whirled around and slowly moved up and down. He spent the ride with his crotch against my buttocks and his arms around me to hold onto the pole.

We went on the dodgem cars, on which I sat in his lap and steered while he operated the pedals. We went on a Viking longboat that swung back and forth to dizzying angles. The four of us sat in the middle, Kat and Lisa-Mae facing Chris and I, making sure that I kept my hands off the guard rail and clutched him tightly as our stomachs lurched with every drop back and forth through the air. On the roller coaster, I had to put both my arms around him and hug close through every fall and sharp turn.

After holding onto him for so long, with my heart beating fast, it was only natural that we walked to the next ride holding hands. I was incredibly nervous and tense, so that when we got to the ghost train, and things jumped out at us making high-pitched yells, I really did scream and jump into Chris's lap.

He mentioned this to Kat and Lisa-Mae afterwards, and they both got that evil grin on their faces.

"Maybe we should try something a little quieter?" Lisa-Mae suggested innocently.

"Mm, how about a gentle ride in the 'Tunnel o'Love?" said Kat pointing to the entrance opposite.

My heart beat faster and faster as events suddenly leapt beyond my control. Chris, with an arm around me, steered me inside and we took our seat on a toy boat on a rail. It had a high back so that nobody behind could see us. It was all very protective and private.

"Ride lasts five minutes," said the spotty kid operating it.

I didn't like what he was implying: five minutes to do have your wicked way with each other.

Even if it was true.

The journey began innocently enough with soft music playing through the speakers behind the seat.

Chris gently stroked my waist with his arm around my back. I kept glancing at him, not sure how to initiate the proceedings.

My mouth was dry. My heart pounded. I didn't want to do it. I had to.

I put a hand on his leg and stared at him. His hand shifted upwards, his fingers lightly brushing against the underside of my breast.

I opened my mouth, closed my eyes and moved my face towards his, hoping he would take things from there.

He did. His kiss was gentle and probing at first, then became passionate. Our tongues met and rolled around our mouths. He teased my breast with one hand and stroked my thighs with the other, while I gently squeezed his leg, trying to blot out the fact that he was a boy.

	"I was desperate to get it over."

I moaned softly, but instead of sounding like I wanted to stop, it probably sounded like I was enjoying it. Chris ran his fingers through my hair and stroked my neck, making me tremble.

The sound of Kat and Lisa-Mae cheering and clapping alerted me to the fact that we were now back in the open.

"I think we should go home now," Kat beamed.

"Why don't you come with us?" Lisa-Mae said.

"Thank you," Chris said, "I'd love to!"

We held hands all the way home, during which I grew very nervous. In the apartment, Kat offered us drinks and I demanded a straight whiskey, a generous measure which I downed in one gulp. The fire in my throat and rush of drunken abandon helped steady me for what was ahead.

"Let's go to my room," I said, and led Chris to my bedroom and closed the door on Kat and Lisa-Mae's giggles.

 

I was desperate to get it over. I started unbuttoning Chris's shirt and helped him out of his pants, sliding my own miniskirt down to the floor.

Naked, I could have guessed Chris had been a model. He had no body hair and obviously kept in shape. I stared at his stiff, erect cock and swallowed.

I pushed him back to the bed where he sat down with his legs splayed.

I knelt down and took his swollen member in my hand and lightly licked the head. He gasped with pleasure and I went down further, doing precisely what I had done to Tina the previous summer. I teased, stroked his scrotum and eased my head further down each time, swabbing the tip with saliva.

"Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Chris moaned, "That... is... wonderful!"

I remembered that I had to go all the way. Perhaps if I could get him as close to orgasm as possible, then the sex wouldn't last too long?

"It's my first time."

 

 

"I want to feel you inside me," I whispered, blushing furiously, "But it's my first time."

"That's okay," he replied, looking back down at me and stroking my hair, "I'll be gentle."

I closed my eyes and kissed the head of his penis again. It was a stalling action. If we were going to do it, really do it, I couldn't take off my knickers and reveal my chastity tube. There was only one way around it.

"Take me from behind," I whispered. He moved back, allowing me to get onto the bed. I turned away, took off the knickers and knelt there, waiting for him. I heard the sound of a condom wrapper being torn open and the discreet sounds of a prophylactic being rolled onto his penis.

His hands rubbed my buttocks gently, warm and soothing.

"It'll be okay," he said, "Just relax..."

He gently pushed me backwards and... onto his erect cock.

I tightened up.

"Just relax," he repeated and thrust forward, slowly and in small increments.

I drew a breath when it went in, my heart pounding in my throat.

He moaned with pleasure and I felt it slide easily into my rectum. I breathed a sigh of relief. The hard part was done. I just had to let him get on with it.

"The hard part."

He gently rocked back and forth, nudging himself deeper inside until I felt his groin against me. He upped the rhythm, which, to be honest, I found somewhat pleasing as well, gently screwing me, carefully stroking me and whispering how good it felt.

I couldn't believe it: I actually had him inside me, moving about. It wasn't so bad. What had I been worried about? To be honest, it actually did feel pretty good, and I allowed myself to get into it a little more, squirming just enough to be playful, and attempting little clenches as my contribution to the act.

"Oh, yeah! That is good!" he enthused.

I knew I wasn't going to cum like I did with the vibrator. Instead, I just tried to take whatever enjoyment I could get.

Then he grunted and tensed. His hands clutched my hips as he bucked faster, panting noisily until he gasped with release.

"Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he moaned as his orgasm subsided, "My God! Are you sure it was your first time?! God, that was... oh!"

He withdrew and removed the condom. I lay on my stomach, glad it was over.

"Thank you," I whispered, glad it was done.

"For what?" he whispered back.

"Um... for making me feel like a woman?"

"God, you're adorable!" he enthused, "I've said it before and I'll say it again: you really do make a great girl, you know that?"

I looked at him, slightly confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't recognize me, do you?"

	"You're adorable!"**

Well, there was something kind of familiar, but...

"Have we met before, then? Do you know me?"

"We know each other pretty well," he stated.

"I'm sorry, but I don't recall... I may have known your face, but I don't think I could place it with your name."

"Christopher's my real name," he said, "You know me now as Chris... also short for 'Christina'...."

My jaw must've hit the pillow.

"Tina?" I squeaked.

He... she... bloody hell, "Chris/Tina" grinned and kissed me.

"Best lover I've ever had," he said, adopting Tina's husky tones.

"Oh my God," I moaned, realizing that this had all been yet another set up at my expense.

"What I told you was true," he said, "you are the incredibly cute girl I met last year who convinced me that maybe the modeling wouldn't go on forever. You got me thinking. So I switched back and opted for a quote-unquote 'normal' life again."

"But you seemed so happy," I said.

"Yeah, but who's to say it was going to last?" he shrugged, "I told Kat and that gave her the idea for arranging the New Year party at her place. You and me were the only singles there. It was all meant to be."

"Oh Jesus," I muttered and stared into space, "So what happens now?"

"Well, you don't have anything to hide from me. Now roll over, girl, and let me return the favor!" he said, holding up the key to my chastity tube.

Despite being glad of the freedom, I declined to accept a blowjob from him. As Tina it was weird enough. As Chris, it just didn't do anything for me.

*

Kat and I received extremely high marks for our thesis. A lot of the insights came from my own experiences with some input from Chris. Kat was delighted to have known two boys who had made such a thorough exploration of sexuality and gender. It certainly helped us write our report, anyway.

After having my female cherry popped, Kat and Lisa-Mae were more open towards me.

I no longer had to wear that damn chastity tube, for one thing, and that was only the start of the good news. Kat, after seeing my sexuality swing completely from one direction to the other, must have been inspired to try bisexuality (after all, she'd been straight, then gone out with Chris-Tina during his/her transformative stage, and then a lesbian).

It was interesting to me (especially after writing for so long and in depth about it with Kat) that in our cases, sexuality was something we made a conscious choice about. So many people see themselves as straight or gay, but never consider exploring. Is their disgust genetic or environmental? After all, men kiss each other as a greeting in many countries around the world, yet are driven to offence by images of scantily clad women. We both agreed that the environmental and social aspect of sexuality and gender roles was probably a big, big factor in determining the partners we choose for fun.

"Go out in style!"

With that in mind, we began having threesomes.

It was... mind-blowing. I was thrilled to have a threesome with two girls. Lisa-Mae was thrilled to have sex with me, guilt-free. Kat was thrilled that my mind and hers were now open and care-free. We dressed up, we played around with BDSM, we used toys and we probably drove the neighbors insane with the loud orgasms we had.

Coming up to end of the semester, with our final exams and papers over and done with, the only thing left was graduation, and the ball looming before us. We dressed up in long, slinky dresses and partied the night away, spending the next week copulating wildly with each other. In my final days as a girl, Kat and Lisa-Mae decided I should go out in style!

And then it had to stop.

As promised, she and Lisa-Mae provided the money to reverse my breast implant operation (I suspect the bulk came from Kat, though). I went to the same clinic, filled in the forms for myself and was led to the operating theatre, woozy with the anesthetic and somewhat maudlin that when I woke up, I would be just... me.

When I did come round, with a tight bandage over my chest, I looked down and saw how flat it was. I missed my boobs. For a few moments I even wanted them back.

 

	"Graduation"

It made me feel that ordinary, dull, everyday life was about to restart. My student years were over. My days as a woman were over. The future seemed like it was no longer vibrant and colorful, but muted and bland.

Graduation was a bittersweet affair. The girls got me looking just the way I did before that fateful party the year before. Just as well: my family made it all the way for the ceremony. To them, it was as if nothing peculiar had happened at all.

 

 

 

 

*

Epilogue

I never saw Chris again. I kept in touch with Kat for a while, Lisa-Mae too, and we still send each other Christmas and birthday cards and send infrequent emails.

So what did get out of it?

Well, Kat did give me the sole copies of all the photos and movies she took of me in my 'year out from myself'. I kept it hidden and never looked at it until just before I started writing this story.

Anything else?

A greater appreciation of how women go through the world, perhaps. Better empathy with women. A greater understanding of how women make themselves look good. And certainly a better knowledge of just how cruel and fun and pleasing and devious and sexy and everything else they can be!

   

I'm always conscious of the fact that despite their best efforts, Kat and Lisa-Mae never really made me like a girl. I didn't have periods and didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. Those are the two biggies which, I reckon, create the gulf in understanding between the sexes. My experience as a female was only in a cosmetic, superficial way.

I just wonder about the lady-boys, she-males and transvestites you see on TV or the internet from time to time: I could easily see that for many, it is a similarly superficial, sexual thrill. I'm also aware that a quiet portion of those who opt for surgery do so because they feel they were born in the wrong body. This brings me back to the thesis I wrote (a few years ago, now): is sexuality genetic or environmental? I would say a bit of both. For whatever reason, either genetic or culturally-imposed sexual inclination, I never really found myself wanting to have sex with a man. I think we have natural predispositions, but now in Western countries we also have the luxury of being able to experiment if we're open-minded enough. (I think there are many cultures around the world that would benefit from having men gain a greater appreciation of the female point of view. But that's a whole other thesis.)

My time is now taken up with my wife (who is fond of telling people how she was first attracted to my feminine side), and my new-born daughter.

I have a hopeful feeling that my experience at college will make me a better father for her than I might have been otherwise.

 

  

  

  

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