Two Mistakes

by

Dennis St.John

 

It's funny how one stupid thing, actually two stupid things can really change your life from the one you suppose you were going to have, into one you never imagined you'd have. The first stupid thing I did was steal a pair of girl's panties from a local department store . I'd always been fascinated by girls underwear and erotic lingerie, as yet I didn't know that word then. I'm not queer, but I do get a funny feeling I'd like to wear girl's panties sometimes just for fun. I'd never admit it, even though, I did know a guy that wore them. The thought of them calling me a queer or a faggot just because I have a thing about girl's underwear made me shiver. Well, don't straight; heterosexual guys have a thing about a pair of sexy panties? That didn't make them queer, did it? At I didn't think so.

The trouble was, I was horny, well actually, I'd been horny all the way through high school, and so far, I hadn't been laid. The trouble was I'm not a jock and didn't go into all that energetic stuff like football, basketball where you had to jump and run around a lot. The girls all seemed to go after the athletic guys, and I know they were getting pussy. Not that I'm ugly or anything. I suppose I'm a reasonably good-looking guy, 5'-7", one hundred and fifty five pounds, longish light brown hair, green eyes and slim. One girl did say I looked cute, but she giggled for some reason, so I didn't know if I should take her seriously, also she wouldn't go out with me either. The guys that have 'done' it with a girl all talked about certain girls that seem to walk around with a big sign around their necks that say 'Fuck Me!', but I've never found one, and boy did I look.

Now I was eighteen, out of school, unemployed, unlaid and bored. I didn't have much money, and when I saw the price of the panties, I knew I didn't have enough to buy them, even though, they were on the marked down table with a bunch of other panties. I only knew I wanted them, so I had to figure out a way to get them without being caught. I wandered about the store for a while, every so often coming back to the table were the panties were, giving them a sideway look. I didn't want anyone realizing that I was looking at them, especially not the sales girls stocking the racks.

Guys get funny looks from people if they hang around in the girl's underwear department too long, and I didn't want anyone thinking I was some sort of pervert. Boys aren't supposed to be fixated on girl's panties, except if they're on a girl, whom I'd never seen except in a magazine, and isn't the same as actually seeing one dressed in panties, bra, stocking and garter belt. The only thing a guy wanted to do then was get her panties off as quick as possible. I kept looking at them, trying to imagine what a girl would look like wearing them. I'd never seen a girl in her underwear, let alone naked, so I didn't have a clue what a girls cunt looked like, or her boobies for that matter. These panties were bright pink, in what was called 'boy's leg 'or 'boys cut panties.

I'm not sure why they are called that, but 'boys cut panties' had such an erotic sound to it, and I felt my cock hardening in my pants as I thought about it. Besides being bright pink in color, they had delicate pink lace around the leg openings and the waist, and I wondered what a girl's pussy or cunt would look in them if she were wearing them. I had to stop thinking about that, as my hard on was getting obvious, and concentrate on ways to get the panties. I thought about it for a while rejecting one plan after the other before coming up with a workable plan to get them. I'd noticed that next to the table was a rack full of guy's pants and jeans, and wandering back between the rows of clothing I made as if I was searching for a pair.

I found one pair of jeans about my size, and taking them off the rack I wandered on down to the end and made like I was having difficulty looking for another pair just in case a hidden security camera was watching. I laid the first pair of pants over the table, making sure they covered the panties I wanted and went back to 'searching' for another pair. Sorted through the rack near the table, I found another pair near my size, and putting them over my arm, I went back to the table to retrieve the other pair. I casually grabbed them and the panties underneath as I did, feeling nervous, but smug at my success and wandered through the rack again, as if I was looking for more. Hidden between the racks of clothing it wasn't hard to transfer the panties to my pocket, but I was surprised to find that I'd grabbed three pairs instead of just the one I wanted. I couldn't put the others back without someone, or a hidden camera seeing me, so I just stuffed them into my pocket.

That done, and making sure none of them were hanging out, I headed for the fitting room to 'try' on the pants I'd selected. Once inside, I quickly stripped off my pants and underwear and pulled the panties out of my pocket. I felt a shiver run over my body as I looked at them, discovering that one black pair was in fact a pair of crotchless panties. That made my heat race so hard my hands were shaking, and I quickly put all three pairs on, the crotchless ones first, then the frilly lacy ones, then the bright pink ones last. I couldn't believe the feeling it gave me to wear them, and for a moment all I wanted to do is jack off right there and then. I managed to calm down, and reluctantly to put my boy's underwear on over them. I decided it was better if I did, just in case it was possible for some sharp-eyed sales clerk, or security dork to see an outline of the panties under my pants or something. Slipping my pants on, I left, handing the 'pants' to the hard faced lady guardian of the changing room with a 'thank you' and a smile. I wandered around the store after that, just to see if anyone was watching me. No one was, and I casually wandered out the store, my heart racing with the expectation as I passed through the detectors, but nothing happened, no alarms, and no security running after me, no beefy hand on my shoulder.

That brought up images of what would happen if they did, like making me strip so they could see the panties I'd stolen. I felt myself go bright red in shame, thinking how humiliating and degrading that would be. No doubt, my Dad would spank me hard if that happened, even if I was 18. That made me even harder, thinking of him or my mother spanking me while wearing girl's panties. I desperately wanted to play with myself to relieve my cock, but I knew I'd have to wait until later, as being Saturday afternoon, I was supposed to meet my friend and go to the movies together.

From what I'd heard, it was a good one, and I really wanted to see this movie called the story of 'O'. It had been around before, but I was too young to get in then, but I could this time. I waited outside, one eye on the movie start time, the other on the gathering rain clouds. It was just my luck that it started raining, and I didn't have my raincoat with me. The start time arrived, and my friend still didn't show so in the end, I went in, finding the movie house dark and secluded. Looking around in the blackness, I saw there weren't many people here, and picking an empty row on the side where it was darkest, I slid into a seat near the wall and scrunched down. Here I thought no one could see my if I started squeezing my cock through my pants, as I expected to do from what I'd heard, panties forgotten for the moment. It started, and I became engrossed in the movie so much so that for a moment I didn't take notice of the guy with the raincoat over his arm coming into my row. First, he started to sit down a few seats from me, then changed his mind and sat in the seat next to me.

'Fuck!" I thought. Now I couldn't squeeze my cock as I'd planned, and felt cheated somehow. Why the hell did he have to pick the seat next to mine? Shit! The whole row was empty.

The movie house had filled up a lot since I came in, I just hadn't noticed before, so maybe he couldn't find a seat or something. The man folded his raincoat and placed it over his lap, but at the time, I didn't think much of it. It became obvious a little later. I put my attention back on the movie, seeing 'O', and a woman naked for the first time in my life. I instantly got hard, seeing her get butt fucked by some nasty guy with a big cock. I couldn't help myself and soon had my hand inside my pants, semi jacking myself off slowly so the man next to me wouldn't see. It was hard, my cock and jacking off inside my pants, until I noticed that the man had pulled his raincoat up, and I could see his hand moving up and down under it. Every so often, he'd take a small flat silver box out of his pocket and point it at the screen, and realized he was taking digital pictures of the screen and jacking off at the same time.

'Fuck!' I thought. The lucky guy had his cock out and jacking himself off under the raincoat and had nasty pictures to take home with him.

I wish I'd listened to my Mother and taken my raincoat with me, but being the obnoxious teenager I was, of course I blew her off and went out without it. I stopped pretending I wasn't playing with myself and openly squeezed my cock outside my pants. God I was so horny and just wanted to open my fly and jack off as hard as I could, seeing what was happening 'O' up on the screen. The man next to me must have seen what I was doing, and coughing slightly to get my attention, he looked around to make sure no one was looking as he lifted the bottom of his raincoat and laid it over my lap. For a moment, I didn't know what to do, tell him to fuck off, throw the coat off, leave it there or get up and move.

A naked 'O' getting spanked changed my mind, and I left it there, but I didn't have the nerve to do what he was doing. I was so horny I couldn't sit still, and I kept wriggling a round in my seat, panting with excitement. Then I felt his hand touch my thigh and begin stroking. I shivered, at first repelled that he was touching me, wanting to jump up and run away, or push his hand away, then my cock jump as he squeezed my thigh. I gave him a sideways look, but he seemed intent on the screen and ignored me, except for his hand. It crept up to the top of my thigh, squeezing firmly and with a gentle pressure that made me open my legs. After that, it didn't take long before his hand was on my crotch, squeezing my hard cock through my pants. I should have stopped him right there, but I didn't. It felt so good having someone else playing with my cock, I didn't want it to stop. He continued squeezing and rubbing my cock, and if anything making me harder. He stopped, and glancing down, I saw his hand and fingers searching for the zipper to my pants, and looking around I pulled the raincoat up higher. Fuck! He was going to get my cock out and play with it, I thought, feeling a shiver run through me. The thought was so erotic I couldn't stop him.

The zipper grated down, sounding loud enough that the guy sitting in front of me must have heard it, but of course, he didn't. It was just my hyperactive senses that made it seemed so loud. His hand started to slip in the opening, and I realized my second stupid mistake. This one was a really, really stupid, dumb fuck mistake. I'd forgotten that I was wearing the panties I'd stolen. I felt myself go bright red, thankfully hidden in the darkness, desperately wondering what I should do. It was way too late to run, and in panic, I put my hand on top of his under the raincoat, but his fingers were already inside my fly, stroking my hard cock. Fuck! That felt so good that I was powerless to stop him putting his hand all the way inside. It didn't take him long to discover the panties, feeling his fingers tracing the lace around the leg under my 'Y' fronts.

He starting to stroke my cock again after that, and that felt so good with the panties wrapped around it. Reaching down, I undid my belt and top button so his hand was free to move inside my pants. He didn't hesitate at the invitation, and quickly found the waistband and slipped his hand under it. I shivered as his fingers touched my skin and sucked my stomach in as if he'd shocked me. His exploring fingers found the second and third pair of panties, and I blushed in the dark, thinking about what he was thinking about that. He must have liked the last pair. The crotchless ones, as he took time to finger the outline of the opening around my cock. That felt good as well, and I could imagine he seeing me dressed in them. Like a cheap slut, I lifted the waistband of the panties, almost inviting him to do what ever he wanted, and he started slowly jacking me off. He did that for several minuets before reaching over, taking my hand, pulling it under the raincoat, and placing it around his huge cock. I almost gasped in surprise at how big it was compared to mine.

The guys at school use to tease me about having a small cock, and when I was younger, I'd cried a few times when they did. That only made them do it even more, calling me a sissy and a queer for having such a small cock. Now I understood why. It was small, and his hand completely engulfed it. Mine on the other hand had difficulty wrapping my fingers around his shaft, and I wondered what it looked like. He must have been at least eight inches long, and sort of fat, with a foreskin like mine and a small cock head. Feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed, we sat there mutually jacking each other off. I desperately wanted to come, but each time I came close, he'd stop and squeeze my cock hard. I'd gasp, not so much from the pain, but how it made me stop coming, but no matter how much I jacked his cock, he didn't cum. This must have gone on for about a quart of an hour, but it felt a lot longer to me, when he leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Let's go to the toilet." He stopped playing with my cock and tucked it back inside my panties, quickly putting his away and zipped himself up.

I wasn't sure what to do, except that I wanted to cum so bad I couldn't think straight. I guess I really didn't think about it, supposing he just wanted to jack me off and see me cum, so when he stood up, I quickly did my pants up and followed him. To my surprise, he didn't head for the toilet out front, but headed towards an exit sign near the screen. I felt as if I was under a spotlight as I walked behind him, thinking that everyone in the theater could see us and know where we were going, and what we were going to do. A hot flush spread over my face and neck but I wondered where he was going. We passed through a curtain and the exit door into a dimly lit passageway, and I started getting nervous until I saw the toilet sign.

This was one of those men and woman's toilets there you went in and locked the door behind you, which he did once we were inside. It did have a urinal and a large handicapped toilet, and he guided me inside and closed the door. I started shaking, not knowing what to expect. I looked up at him, seeing a hansom older guy in a smart looking suit, but I couldn't look up at his face, or meet his eyes. He hung his raincoat on the back of the door and turned towards me. The toilet was reasonable clean with the usual graffiti on the partition and walls inviting the occupant to call this number for the best blowjob, or fuck and a crude drawing of girl's with their legs spread. I could smell the pee and chlorine mixed with other things, and if anything, that only turned me on even more. It was so disgustingly erotic that I felt nervous, excitement, fear, anticipation, shame and humiliation all mixed up together to the point where I started to shiver.

"Show me your pretty panties boy." He said softly, smiling slightly as he set down on the toilet. I gulped, not sure what he wanted me to do.

"I… I…" I couldn't get the words out, any words, but then again I didn't know what I wanted to say.

Smiling slightly, he reached over and gently pulled me towards him and unbuckled my belt. I just stood there, unable to move or stop him. He undid my pants and let them fall around my ankles, immediately started caressing my shaking thighs as if to calm me, which was impossible at that moment and slowly worked upward until he was caressing my hard cock, squeezing it through my underwear and panties.

"Ummmm very nice. Let's get these boys underpants off and see your pretty panties." He murmured, lifting my legs, so he could take off my pants and boys underpants off. "Take off your jacket and unbutton your shirt." I sucked my breath in hearing that, blushing bright red.

Hesitantly I shrugged off my jacket, and he took it and laid it over the back of the toilet, turning back as I slowly unbuttoned my shirt. Without a word, he took my arms, unbuttoned the shirt cuffs, and pushed it off my shoulders. I didn't understand until he took my shirt off and put it on top of the toilet. It was almost as if I didn't have a choice as he reached down and gently pulled my tee shirt up and over my head. Instinctively I lifted my arm, shivering even harder as the cold air hit my warm skin. Now I was almost naked, and I thought that was all until he leaned down again and took my shoes and socks off. I felt the cold concrete under my feet, and for some reason let out a soft sob.

"Umm you look so nice dressed in those panties sissyboy." He said softly. "Put your hands on top of your head and close your eyes."

It felt as if he'd hit me in the stomach when he called my sissyboy, and I sucking air into my lung, feeling my cock jump and get hard again. I'd hear other guys and my friend say that about someone, or call an obvious sissy fairy that name, but never to me. I felt like crying in shame, and putting my hands on top of my head, I closed my eyes, not sure what he was going to do. I hear several clicks, and opening them saw he was taking pictures of me like that. I gasped, and did start to cry. Now he had pictures of me dressed in girl's panties. I suddenly thought of the store security, and somehow they'd followed me and got me undressed, so they could take pictures as evidence. He leaned forward and started squeezing my cock, which was still hard, despite feeling ashamed. It felt so degrading standing there dressed in girl's panties with a man playing with my cock, but if anything that only made me harder. One by one, he peeled the panties down, taking pictures as he did, until I was standing there with two pairs around my thighs, and he was taking pictures of me dressed in the black nylon crotchless panties with my hard cock sticking through the opening. I shuddered as he nursed my little cock and caressed my balls, slipping one hand behind me, and stroking my back and bottom.

"Spread your legs sissyboy." He ordered.

"I'm not… really… I'm not a…" I started to say.

"Of course you are." He said, filling in the blanks of what I couldn't say. "Boys don't wear girl's panties like these, do they? Only prancing sissy queerboys like you do that." I moaned, feeling my little cock stiffened.

"Ooooo no… please, don't say that." I pleaded.

"Why not? It's true, isn't it?" He stroked my cock faster, and I couldn't help myself.

"Yes." I groaned, almost seeing myself as he must see me, feeling my face burning with shame.

"That's better. You shouldn't lie. You get spanked for lying to me." Saying that, he started spanking my bottom. Not hard at first, just light pats. I started panting, unable to stop myself, my hips jerking back and forth as he jacked me off. The harder he spanked me, the hotter I got. Every so often he would stop and squeeze my cock and balls hard, stopping me climaxing as I cried in frustration and humiliation.

"Oh god! Spank me harder." I heard myself say, wanting to be punished. He slapped my bottom harder.

"Tell me what you are!" He snapped, landing a hard slap across my cheeks.

"I'm a dirty little panty wearing sissy queerboy." I chocked out. The slaps didn't even seem to hurt now, just a hotness spreading up my back and down my thighs.

"Yes, you are, and what do dirty little sissy queers do?"

"Wear girl panties and prance around like dirty little faggots." I cried, gasping for breath, desperate to say it.

"And what else do sissy queerboy faggot do?" I knew what he wanted me to say, and knew what would happen if I did. I didn't want to say the words, frantically telling myself no to, feeling felt tears of shame running down my face, knowing I couldn't stop myself. "They suck men's cocks." I sobbed at last. His hand slapped my bottom hard, but I didn't care. I should be punished. Punished for stealing the panties, punished for wearing them, punished for letting him play with my cock, and punished for saying what I did.

"That's right, dirty little panty wearing sissy queerboy faggots suck men's cock, and you are going to get on your knees and suck mine, NOW!" He ordered, and saying that he put his hand on my shoulder and slowly pushed me to the floor on my knees. I sobbed and cried, looking up at him as he unzipped his pants and took his huge cock out.

"Please sir. Don't make me put it in my mouth. I'm not…" He gently slapped me across the face, first with his hand, then with his hard cock as he pulled me between his open legs.

I felt humiliated and dirty, disgusted at what he wanted me to do. I wanted to say that I wasn't a sissy fag. I didn't… I'd never sucked a cock. Only dirty little sissy perverts did that, but I had this overwhelming feeling that I was going to suck his cock, no matter how much I fought against it. Next he rubbed his cock over my face leaving a trail of pre-cum behind it.

"I said to suck it, you nasty little faggot bitch!" Grabbing my hair, he pushed the head against my lips. I could smell it, feel it, all warm, silky pressing against my lips, wanting to put my tongue out and lick it, feel it slipping between my wet lips into my mouth.

"Please." I begged. "Don't make me suck…" Even as I tried to tell him I wasn't a cock sucking little fag, or beg him not to force me to do it, he pushed the head forcibly between my lips and into my mouth before I could finish speaking. The smooth silky head slipped between my lips and into my mouth, filling it, monstrous and invading, tasting of musk, salt, and maleness, overwhelming my senses. I squealed and tried to pull my head back, but he held it there. How many times I'd dreamt about doing this laying in bad and jacking off, and now I was. It felt ever more shameful than I ever imagined being forced to do it like this.

"Play with your pathetic little sissy cock, sissy bitch. It will make it easier for a queer like you to cum." Sobbing I did what he told me, finding I was still as hard as a rock. I started jacking myself off as he worked his cock head in and out of my mouth.

"That's a good little faggot, now jack yourself off, and kiss my cock with those pretty pouty lips." He said, pulling his cock out of me mouth. Crying in humiliation I did what he said, hearing the camera click. This couldn't be worse. He had pictures of me kissing and sucking his huge cock like a dirty little cock sucking faggot.

"Oh yes, very nice. Now lick my cock all over. I want your mouth filled with the taste of my cock." It was, musky, salty, and so disgusting that I sobbed louder in shame. "Oh I love hearing you cry, sissy. Now suck the head of my cock. I need to put a load of cum in that sweet girlyboy mouth of yours, but you are not to swallow." He ordered. "I know you want to like any good sissy cunt, but I want to see it and take a photograph of you with your mouth full of cum." I could only sob in shame.

He slapped me on the back of the head, and like a good little queer, I started sucking and licking his cock, jacking myself off even faster. I couldn't believe how disgustingly erotic it felt to be verbally abused and humiliated like this and the feeling of a man's cock fucking my mouth, or so turned on by it. The man started pumping his cock in and out of my mouth in short stokes, holding my head tight between his strong hands as he did. He was fucking my mouth just like I'd heard the guys at school bragging about how they'd done it to girls.

"Oh yes, now you're a good little cock sucking sissy faggot, aren't you?" I could only nod in response, knowing it was true, right now, I was. "That's good boy, and don't you ever forget it. You were born to suck cocks and get your ass fucked like a sissy fag." He said, gasping for breathe. At that point his cock got bigger and my mouth filled with his cum. A lot of it, so much so I thought I'd gag. Some of it leaked out of my mouth around his cock and dribbled down my chin. I still hadn't cum at this point, seeming to want to concentrate on him and making him cum more than my own cock. With a long sigh, he pulled his cock out of my mouth and stood back.

"Show me the cum in your mouth sissy cunt!" He ordered. With tears running down my face, sobbing my heart out in shame, I did what he told me, and opened my mouth. Leaning down, he quickly snapped some picture, my face with my mouth open with cum running down my chin and then closer showing the cum. "Put it on your tongue and stick it out so I can get a better shot." I did, and he laughed. "Now swallow it!"

I didn't want to. Wanting nothing more than to spit it out, hating the horrible, disgusting taste of his cum in my mouth. It felt so vile, degrading, and sensing that, he put his hand over my mouth, pinched my nose shut, and pulled my head back. I couldn't stop it. The slick cum flowed to the back of my throat, and I couldn't help but swallowed it all. With that he let go and stood back.

"Ummm yes, now the little faggot had his first real taste of cum, and swallowed it." He laughed softly, making me feel even worse. "I take it that was the first cock you've sucked." I nodded, dropping my head and looking at the dirty floor, shivering, the smell of the toilet filling my senses, the cold, hard concrete floor against my legs and knees. The shame felt even deeper knowing I'd let this happened, let him undress me, let him fuck my mouth and did nothing to stop it. What made it ever more shameful was that I'd enjoyed it.

I saw him sit back on the toilet, and reaching out he stood me up and pulled me towards him. I didn't know what he was going to do, fuck me, I suppose, but he didn't. He took my little cock all the way into his mouth and started sucking me off. I gasped in shock, understanding how good it felt, and he quickly brought me to a shattering climax. Just as I started shooting my load, he took my cock out of his mouth, and with a few stoked had me shooting into his hand. It felt as if I shot a gallon of cum, shuddering in release. Before I'd finished, he lifted his hand to my mouth.

"Now suck up your own cum, bitchboy." Pushed my mouth open with on hand and forced my head back with the other, he let the cum run into my mouth.

He held his hand there until I'd swallow it all, fresh tears of shame running down my face as he made me lick his hand clean. I stood there feeling the after glow washing mixing in with a deep feeling of shame as pulled up each of my panties and settled them into place, but it was hard to stop crying.

"You know you'd look better wearing a silky garter belt and stocking, don't you." I shook my head.

"Yes you would, and maybe a nice padded girly bra and a dress." I swallowed again.

Even as sated as I was and feeling so ashamed of what I'd just done, the image of me dressed like that made my cock jump. He stood up and handed me my tee shirt and shirt. I started dressing, feeling the aftermath of the encounter, mostly shame and humiliation at what I'd done, or what he'd made me do, I'm not sure which. My feeling of satisfaction made the feeling of shame deeper. I turned to face him, and he held out my pants, but as he gave them to me he pulled out my wallet. I froze. There was no money in it, but that wasn't what he was after. He looked through it a moment, then pulled out the little I.D. card I'd stupidly filled out.

"Please?" I begged, not sure what I was begging for.

"Oh I just wanted your name and address so I could send you a copy of the pictures."

"Oh god! No…" I moaned, images of my parents opening a package and seeing me like that flashed through my mind.

"You do want a copy, don't you?" He looked puzzled, but laughing at me at the same time. "You do want to see how you looked, don't you? Or show them to your friend and family." He didn't try to hide the veiled threat in there. I simply shook my head. "Oh I see. Well then, you'd better come round to my place next weekend, and I can show them to you."

"Oh god!" I muttered.

"I'll call you during the week and let you know where and when I'll pick you up." Saying that, he smiled at me and taking his raincoat unlocked the door and left.

I just stood there in my pink sissy panties and cried, until I hear the door open again. I stopped crying, quickly locking the door to the cubical and frantically got dressed. Someone came in and took a pee and after washing there hands, left. I waited a few moment and left myself, going out the exit rather than back into the movie house. I couldn't bare to see the people looking at me when I came back in, or the knowing expressions on their faces. Suddenly the story of 'O' wasn't as important to me any more, not after what had just happened. I had some idea what he would do to me next, and I frantically thought of way I could get out of it. In the end, I admitted to myself I couldn't while he had the pictures and knew where I lived.

I was trapped and running away didn't occur to me until later, a lot later, then it was too late and I couldn't if I wanted to. I went home, feeling dejected, the horrible taste of him cum in my mouth that I couldn't seem to get rid of. It was stuck at the back of my throat and no matter how much I coughed and spat it was still there. Later, I lay in bed thinking, seeing myself kneeling in those panties sucking on his cock, feeling ashamed again. I'd taken them off when I'd took a shower, hiding them in the back of a draw, and as I lay there, I had this irresistible urge to put them on again. I fought against it, telling myself what a dirty little cock-sucking queer I was for even thinking about putting them on again. It didn't work and taking a shuddering breath, I got out of bed and retrieved the panties.

I put the crotchless pair on first, then the sissy pink ones and started jacking off. It all came rushing back, the feeling, the smell, the shame, all tumbling over one another. The feeling started to build as I got closer and closer to coming and I let out a soft sob. I thought about what he'd said, about me being dressed in panties, stocking, garter belt and bra. I wanted that, wanted to be dress like a sissy fag, used like one, humiliated and treated like a dirty little sissy faggot bitch and exploded all over my hand and belly. With another soft sob, I lifted my hand and lick all the cum off and swallowed it, sighing with relief. Covering myself up, I drifted off to sleep on a warm cloud of contentment. The next morning I woke up feeling disgusted with myself, even more so when I saw myself in the mirror dressed in the bright pink panties with the cum stain on the front. I pulled the panties off, and threw them in the back of a draw and took a long hot shower, scrubbing my skin over and over again.

I must have brush my teeth for half an hour, and used up a whole tube of toothpaste. Even so, I could still taste the cum in the back of my throat, or at least I thought I did. I drank hot coffee and even sucked on a lemon, but it just wouldn't go away. I spend the next three days doing macho stuff and hanging with my friend. I even told a few homo jokes and made fun of any swishy looking guys at the Mall, just to prove to myself that I wasn't a dirty cock-sucking faggot, or a prancing sissy fairy. The only trouble was, I couldn't resist the pull of those panties. I'd lay there at night, telling myself I wasn't going to put them on, tossing and turning in frustration. I just couldn't get rid of the image of my dressed in them. Of course, in the end, I got up, took my PJ's off, and put the panties on in the dark and got back on the bed. I tried not to jack off, telling myself that I just wanted to put them on and that in the dark they were no different from any other underpants I'd worn.

That didn't last for long before I was fingering the material, indulging myself in the soft sensual feeling. It didn't take long after that before I was squeezing my cock through the panties. I kept telling myself that they didn't turn me on, but in the end, I jacked off, thinking about what had happened and trying to resist the urge to lick up my own cum. Of course I did, feeling humiliated as the slick cum slid over my tongue and down my throat, even going so far as to lick my hand clean. I'd roll over after and tried to tell myself it didn't matter, that doing this didn't make me a faggot. More than once, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and cried myself to sleep. The next day I'd swear to myself I'd never do it again, but I did, over and over again. I'd thought about telling the man to fuck off when and if he called, thinking up all sort of nasty names to call him so he'd get the message that I wasn't a panty wearing sissy queerboy for him to use like some cheap ally whore.

Thursday came round and he still hadn't called, and I started biting my lower lips in frustration and prayed he wouldn't call, dreaded what he'd say if he did. By that afternoon, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't eat, and wandered around the house like a lost dog. Why hadn't he called? He said he would, so why hadn't he? Not that I wanted him to call, I didn't. If I never heard from him again, that was all right with me. I could stop feeling guilty and forget the whole thing. I didn't really want to be dressed in girl's clothes and treated like somebody's dirty little crossdressing, cock-sucking sissy fag anyway. I tried to watch TV, but there was nothing that interested me on the boob tube. I didn't want to read, or play a video game, and I loved playing them. Truthfully, I didn't know what I wanted. Then the phone rang, or I should say 'he' rang as all the other calls were for my mother or Dad. My Mom called up to say someone was on the phone for me, and it felt as if my heart stopped. It had to be him, I thought, then, god I hope its him! I almost fell down the stair, stopping three feet from the phone, willing myself forward to pick it up, dreading what would happen when I did.

"Yeah, hi." I managed to get out through my constricted throat.

"Told you I'd call." He soft baritone voice whispered in my ear.

"Oh, yeah… um… I'm… I…" I couldn't get anything coherent out.

"Guess you'd like to see the pictures I took." My heart skipped a beat.

"I… I guess…"

"Good. I'll pick you up tonight at 7 pm at the Starbuck Coffee shop in the mini-mall around the corner from you. Bring a change of clothes and of course your pretty panties." He laughed.

"But…"

"Tell your folks that you are going up to town to go to an early job interview, and the you'll be staying overnight at the 'Y' tonight."

"What! I can't…"

"Do what you are told, sissy bitch!" He snapped. I gulped, trying to suck some air into my lungs.

"Yes, sir." I muttered at last, all the nasty things I was going to say to him vanishing.

"Good. See you at seven, and don't be late, or else."

I wasn't sure what the 'or else' meant, but I could imagine. Suspecting I'd be punished in some way. That sent a wave of erotic pleasure running through me and I shivered. Fuck! Why was I feeling like this? The guy was going to make me dress in girl's underwear, use me, make me suck his big cock again, and then probably fuck me. So why the hell was I so excited that my cock was making the front of my pants stick out. I ran upstairs, ripped the draw open, and pulled out the pink panties before running into the toilet. Stripping off my pants and shorts and knelt in front of the toilet.

I'd forgotten or deliberately hadn't flushed, and could spell the piss and it made me harder, and started jacking off with the panties wrapped around my cock. I bit my lower lips to stop myself moaning out loud and quickly brought myself to a climax, sighing in relief as I shot cum inside them. I looked at the sticky mess, wrinkling my nose as the sight. I needed to wash these, but I didn't want to use the washing machine in case my Mother found them before I could get down and put them in the dryer. I couldn't hand wash them, as that meant I had to leave them hanging in the bathroom to dry, so I hadn't. I hated to think what he'd say when he saw them, blushing bright red at the thought. Calmer now, I dressed and went back downstairs to tell my Mom and Dad the phone call was for a job interview early tomorrow morning, and I was going up to town this evening.

"About time." My Dad muttered from behind his newspaper. I could hear the silent 'fucking' as he said it, but not in front of my Mother.

"That's nice dear." She said, smiling at me.

"I might stay overnight Saturday…" I managed to get out. "I'll stay at the 'Y' tonight and tomorrow."

"You'll need some money for the fair, and for your stay. Here." She said, grabbing her purse and fishing out a fifty-dollar bill.

"Wow. Thanks Mom, you're the best." The fact I was staying overnight, and Saturday didn't seem strange to them, maybe because they were just glad to get me out of the house for a while.

With that, I went upstairs to pack, throwing a pair of jean, two shirts, some socks, and underwear in an overnight bag, with one eye on the clock. Reaching into the back of the draw, I pulled out all three pairs of panties, tucking them inside a sock to hide them, and tossed it into my bag. After that I dropped onto the bed and took several shuddering breathes. Without the pressure of a hard cock, I could think clearly, and looking up I saw myself in the mirror. What the fuck was I doing? I asked myself. I'm not a sissy fag. I'm a normal heterosexual male. I want to fuck girls. Fuck them everyway possible. I want to find a girl, fall in love, get married, and have kids. At least that's what I told myself, so why am I packing a bag, lying to my parents and going to meet a man who's going to do a lot of nasty, degrading things to me. I took another shuddering breathe and thought about it. I tried telling myself I just wanted to experience it for fun. To find out what it was like, but I couldn't convince myself. It was something else, something deep inside that I didn't want to recognize. Why could he see it and not me? I fought with myself for an hour, thinking of the reasons I shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't go, suddenly realizing that it was almost seven o'clock. Fuck! I was going to be late. I grabbed the bag, shouted 'Bye' to my parents, dashed out of the house, and ran to the Starbucks around the corner. I was late, by five minuets, and the man gave me a stern look as I came running up.

"Sorry… I tried not to be late…"

"I'm not interested in excuses. Let's go. I'll deal with your lateness later." I gulped for breathe, feeling a void in the pit of my stomach hearing that.

After all of my self-searching, I haven't even stop to think when I realized what the time was, I just ran. What did that say about me and what I wanted? His car was a new Caddy, and climbing into the passenger seat I did the seat belt up before he had to tell me, and he drove away. Today, he was dressed in a windbreaker, polo shirt, white slacks, and tan shoes. I notice there was a touch of gray in his dark brown hair, but that made him look distinguished, and his strong masculine face was clean-shaven. I could just smell his aftershave lotion, the same one he wore last Saturday, and for some reason I started to relax. We drove for about an hour on the freeway in light traffic, which meant we'd gone about sixty to seventy miles to where ever he lived. We didn't get there, wherever it was, instead pulling into the parking lots behind a row of commercial building and stopped the car. I started feeling nervous again

"I have a treat for you."

"A treat?" I stammered.

"Yes. Have you ever been to a spar?"

"Um… you mean the place girls… ladies go to?" That didn't sound good. He smiled and shook his hansom head.

"And men go there. You get a sauna, massage, manicure, pedicure, hair cut, the whole works."

"Oh." Didn't know what to say. It sounded kind of nice, especially the massage part. I'd had that a couple of time when I pulled a muscle in my back, but I felt nervous and it showed. I hated the thought of going to one with all those woman looking at me. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small bottle and shook a small pill out into his hand.

"Here, put this under your tongue and let it dissolve."

"What is it?" I asked suspiciously, not liking the idea of taking drugs.

"Just a mild sedative to calm you down. Are you a little frightened sissyboy?" I gulped and dragged air into my lungs and shook my head.

"No." I managed to get out, trying to assert my manhood.

"Yes you are. That's another lie." He looked at me sternly, and I knew what that meant. He held the pill up to my lips. I let out the breath I was holding in a sighed, opened my mouth, and lifted my tongue. He popped the pill inside and I felt it start dissolving immediately. It tasted bitter and I was tempted to spit it out. Before I could, it had dissolved completely and I started to feel myself relaxing.

"That's better. Let's go in." I hadn't thought he meant now. Breathing heavily I reached back for my bag, but he stopped me. You won't be needing that.

By the time we got to the front door, I was definitely relaxed, and feeling no pain as they say, even smiling at the hot looking chick at the front desk. She gave me the arched eyebrow treatment as if I were something she'd just stepped in, but I was feeling so good it didn't bother me.

"I have an appointment."

"Yes, Mr. Gray. Go right in." So, his name was Gray, which was something.

I followed him into the spar, looking around as we walked. There were a few women getting their hair or nails done, all dressed in thick, fluffy, white terry towel robes. I smiled, wondering what they had on underneath. I found out when Mr. Gray told me to strip and take a shower. When I came out my clothes were gone, and the only thing I had to wear was one of the white robes. By now, I was sort of out of it, floating on a cloud. The young hansom guy that walked in with Mr. Gray looked me up and down as if sizing up his next victim.

"I'd like the full treatment." Mr. Gray said to the young man and he nodded. They sort of led me out to a one-person sauna and without even realizing it, the guy took my robe off and sat me down on the hot wooden seat.

"Fifteen minuets should be enough."

"Yes. You can see he doesn't have much body hair. Remove any he had."

"Permanently?" The guy asked with a smile.

"Yes, permanently. You know the rest, hair, nails, massage, and facial."

"Yes, sir. I'll have Maggie take care of that, and the makeup." That was the last thing I heard before it drifted off completely, not that I understood much before that even, thinking they were talking about someone else, a girl maybe.

 

End of Part One (Part 1 of 5)

  

  

  

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