Triumph of My Will

by Jasmine

 

Chapter I: introduction

My life isn't fair. When something goes bad people always say that life is not meant to be fair, but there are should be reasonable expectations, like a life without pain or misery, but not for me. I am Michael Groves. I am 12 years old. My older sister Alexandra is a boxer but hardly ever takes an interest in me. She is 24. My twin sisters are demon-possessed monsters that must have been spawn from the mouth of hell. They are 2 15 year old sadists that trick everyone into thinking they are 2 little angels. I am not a wimp. I am an athlete. I just got a second-degree black belt in tae kwon do but any time I try to fight back my big sister helps them or the twins gang up and beat me up. The twins are sally and Sandra. My biggest sister is Alexandra. My father ran away and nobody can find him. My mother was a United States attorney, a federal prosecutor who was prosecuting a dangerous Columbian and was shot. She had a will that gave guardianship and the entire estate to my big sister if she agreed to take us in. I am here with my older sister as my legal guardian and she is working all of the time. My two twin sisters are bossing me around with my older sisters permission. Alexandra said 4 weeks ago "just do what Sandra says and you will be fine". Life is pure hell now. I just want to graduate high school and go to west point and join the army as a commissioned officer and have a brilliant career. I want to lead hundreds of thousands of soldiers in a great struggle for democracy. I rarely turn in a paper that doesn't make an A. in history my last essay I turned in was 'Caesars gaullic campaigns and his war against vercinggetorix', and it was a ten-page essay detailing his legions in great detail and his battles and tactics in great detail. I also wrote a detailed report about the battle of the pyramids in 1798. They aren't essays anyone would expect from a 12-year-old boy. In math I am studying algebra II. Another quality I posses is that I am a brilliant speaker. Every time I give an oral report I find the audience hang on to every word, and applause for real. The audience is almost entranced by me. I am a brilliant public speaker. My hero is general Douglas MacArthur.

 

Chapter II:

Thank god that school is almost over. It is the last 2 weeks and it has got gradually worse since my mother died. First Sandra forced me to go to school with bright pink painted nails. The next week she painted my eyes with eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara. Next week I was afraid that they would go all the way and make me look like a real girl but I guess I wouldn't stand out as much. The school officials are worried but my big sister almost forces them to relent. I have a good sister. She told the principle "if he wanted to experiment with being a girl then let him." now they are going to do my hair and pierce my ears for Monday along with plucking my eyebrows. I have a sick feeling that this is going to be a miserable, humiliating and traumatic summer. I have no interest in being a girl or crossdressing but my sisters want another sister and like to force me into the role. I have a sick feeling were this will lead this summer and I don't like it at all. But what am I to do.

I use to have a room full of books. I had books from all of the great generals and leaders of the past. I had both copies of Rommels 'Infantrie greift', the original version publish by the third Reich in German and a newer copy printed in America in English. I also had Adolf Hitler's mein kampf in original German and English. I had 2 copies of the original German version, one published in 1925 after he was paroled from Landsberg prison, the second volume in 1926. I learned German and loved the language. I hate Nazism and am revolted by the conduct of the SS during that period; I want to understand what happened and why they did it. I found out the what part, but I never found out why, why a whole nation would submit to such barbarism. Well I am sitting in a whole new room since my mother died, all of my books is gone as well as the wallpaper and general look. It looks like a teenage girls room. I also to my humiliation have a vanity with tons of makeup. Mans inhumanity to man will never end, but in this instance it is a girls inhumanity to a boy that doesn't deserve it at all. I was respectful to all my sisters and was never a bad brother. I never teased her or tried to upset them at all. I was nice to them all when my mother lived so the sadism I don't understand.

As I sit here reminiscing about the good days in Seattle and sulking Sandra comes in and tells me that it is time to go to a salon to get my hair done and ears pierced. It is Sunday and tomorrow starts the last week of school. I just know that tomorrow I will look ridiculous and I will attract a lot of attention. I won't get hurt, I am the strongest 12 year old in school and I am feared. I am not a bully I just don't take shit and most of the other children realize that my sisters are behind this. They have also been brutalized by my sisters. I meekly walk to the car with Sandra and Alexandra to get my hair done and my ears pierced. While driving Sandra says "when we get in the salon you better not give any indication that you don't want pretty curls are you don't want to be a girl or else, get it sissy". I nodded. We find the place and Alexandra goes away while Sandra takes me in. I am a 12-year-old boy walking into a hair salon with bright long pink fingernails and a full face of makeup. The makeup isn't overdone, it is just right. Everyone is now looking at me. Sandra tells the receptionist "my brother begged me to get his hair done in pretty curls and a perm, after this he wants his ears pierced". I almost cried and it was hard to stifle back the tears but I did remembering the threat. The receptionist says, "It will be a 10 minute wait what is his name". This is embarrassing and Sandra says, "His name is Michelle groves". I just sat there dumbfounded until now they never called me that. The receptionist smiled at me thinking that I liked this. Then Sandra said, "Michelle how fun is it being a girl so far". I sulked saying, "Miserable so far what was wrong with Michael". She said "he was a dumb boy I want a sister so you better like it or I will find a boy to show you what is it like to be a real girl ". I shutter and say, "What are you going to do, find a boy to sexually assault me". She gives me that evil smile that sends shivers down my spine. The look on my face show is all. I am truly terrified. Sandra says, "You look like you don't like this so you better start liking this". I try but I still have a feeling of horror and start to sob softly. I can't help it. Sooner or later I just know Sandra will find a boy for me and I can't stop it. Every time she made a threat to get my compliance it would end up happening rather I complied or not. The mascara was a threat to get my nails done. I was a good boy and now I have the pretty face of a girl. I now know that I can not trust anything my sisters say unless it is something I will hate. Before I start to cry Sandra gently takes my hand and leads me outside and takes me around the corner. She says, "now listen sissy, you will stop crying and or you will scream when you get home." Good way to stop someone from crying. I cry harder and Sandra tries to sooth me by saying "the boy threat was a bluff do you really think I would have my brother raped". I nodded stiffing "of course you would you hate me". She stands there rubbing my hair and holding me close trying to sooth me. She says, "You know I don't hate you Michelle". I say, "then let me be Michael". She said" you are Michael for now". Well I can be Michael for another hour. After several minutes I stop crying and she leads me inside. The receptionist says "he is back, well are you ready Michelle". I think I better get used to that name. I smile back and say, "I am ready". She leads me to a chair and sits me down and says, "Well how do you want your hair done". I don't have the foggiest; if it were my choice I would leave it alone. I say, "Ask my sister I don't know feminine hair styles". I call, "Sandra can you help me". She came up and showed her a picture out of her seventeen magazine of a really cute girl my age and said, "he begged me to have his hair done this way, and can you style Michelle hair like this". It was about the most feminine hairstyle she could fine. The stylist said "well of course". My sister said, "I'm going shopping to buy you a few dresses so be good". After my sister left the receptionist kneeled and looked into my face and said "is this what you really want, you look like you were crying". I thought about this and said the line I have been drilled with "I like being a girl and want to be one like nothing I ever wanted". She said "that sounded like you practiced that line for this occasion and I am not buying it. You look like you were forced into this." I am terrified my sisters all assured me that if help were coming I would not live to see it appear. They would kill me for real. I said, "I didn't practice that line what would ever make you say that." She said "you look like you were crying and your eyes look sad I can see it in your eyes, Intense sadness. Now tell me the truth". I get up and run outside to find my sister for help. She isn't anywhere so I run into the nearby clothing store. I still can't see her and I run to the lingerie section and see her picking out panties. I run up to her and tap her shoulder. She is startled and looks at me. She suddenly looks angry and say "it doesn't look like anything was done with you hair are you trying to get out of it". Now I feel stupid I could have run away or actually got help but I was too cowardly. I say, "no she started asking questions, like if I really wanted this done or if you were forcing this on me. I didn't know what to say. I said what you taught me but she wouldn't buy it and kept asking. I just ran away to find you. Don't leave me again". She understands. We're not going anywhere either Alexandra left with the car. Sandra reaches in her purse and gets her cell phone and makes a call to Alexandra and asks her to come and take us home. Sandra knows it's not my fault but a nosy hairstylists fault but I wonder if it will make any difference when we get home. 4 minutes later Alexandra's car is here and she gets out and said, "What is wrong is the jerk trying to get out of this". Sandra said, "He said that a hair stylist kept asking him questions and if he really wanted this". Alexandra said, "we told him what to say if that question were asked and we drilled him". I say, "she didn't buy it and I was convincing but I was crying several minutes ago because Sandra threatened to have me raped". Alexandra gave Sandra a mean look and says, "why did you say that Sandra and expect hem not to cry, we are talking about a horrible sexual violation and of coarse he will be upset. You shouldn't have told him our plan now come on and let get somewhere safer".

  

  

  

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