Transformers (Sort Of)

by Catherine Linda Michel

 

I sat there on that rock thinking for at least a couple of hours, until it was beginning to get a little bit dark. So many things went through my mind. Not the least of which was, If I look like a girl, and I sound like a girl, and I walk like a girl, what the hell am I? I mean, I know that I'm just a guy in a 'power suit", but the rest of the world sees me as this sexy 19 or 20 year old female, so who's right? Me or them?

So, thinking along those lines, could I really blame Jerry for what he did? Sure, he knows that it's me, Donnie, his lifelong guy 'bud', in this suit, but he sees a gorgeous chick and he reacted to what he sees, not to what he knows. Given the same circumstances, could I say I wouldn't do the same? I stopped my thoughts there, shook my head and headed back for 'home'. Too much thinking was frying what was left of my brain.

I wandered into my cabin just as dark was falling. Nobody said a word to me as I went into my bedroom, stripped and headed for a shower. I didn't really have to take one to get clean, but just the action of bathing seemed to relax me and the sound, and feel, of the water beating against my body also helped. When I was finished, I toweled off and went back to my bedroom where I chose some plain, cotton pajamas to sleep in. I didn't bother with eating anything, not because I wasn't hungry, but because I didn't feel up to seeing other people, let alone eating with them.

Jerry wasn't there and I assumed he was staying the night with someone else. As I went to sleep, my mind was racing, replaying the last week or so, over and over. My dreams were, well, they were strange, to say the least. In most of them, I was either running from….something, or I was fighting someone, or several someones. My girlfriend figured in there somewhere, but she seemed kinda…vague. Not fully formed. Almost as if I couldn't recall exactly what she looked or sounded like. Jerry figured in those dreams too, but he was more fully formed than my girlfriend was. He seemed to be helping me fight whoever it was I was fighting, but there were several instances where I dreamed myself in his arms, being kissed by him. Sometimes it felt alright and other times, it seemed….wrong somehow.

I awoke before the sun was up. I didn't really feel like I had slept at all, but my body was demanding that I get up and visit the bathroom, so up I got. Sitting there, answering nature's call, I sorta drifted off a little bit, like you do sometimes, you know what I mean, right? I started idly examining the HUD display and all the little menus and submenus. Of course there was one little light flashing on and off that said; Power Level Low. I knew that I was due to recharge the suit so that one was no real surprise. Then, I found a display that accessed an area that I'd never seen before. The display shook me up a little bit, but thinking back over the events of the last week, it made sense. The display was labeled; Procedures For Permanent Bonding!

I damn near fell off the toilet when I found that section, but I went ahead and pulled up the display and read what was there anyway. It read: If permanent bonding with the suit should occur, the following changes will take place within the wearer.

If the wearer happens to have been male, the suit will begin dispersing small, but ever increasing amounts of a new powerful female hormone which will make the wearer of the suit more comfortable with being forced to become fully female.

The wearer will become able to access a formerly inaccessible area of the suit's contained resources, concerning things like makeup, hair care, vocabulary, etc. These will make it easier for the wearer to assimilate into society as the female he now appears to be.

If the wearer of this suit is now accessing this display, be now aware that there is no going back. Unfortunately there is no way to remove the suit if it either accidentally or purposefully becomes bonded to your skin. Rest assured that you will suffer no untoward or harmful effects because of this bonding. The suit will, eventually become your own skin, replacing your original epidermis.

You have my sincere apologies for this unfortunate occurrence, but I based these suits on some recently uncovered, unknown research, which somehow relates to the "Roswell Incident." I can only assume that the research is based on some kind of alien 'spacesuit' or 'battlesuit'.

I have to assume that I am either unavailable or incapacitated in one way or another if you are reading this and I am not present. If it is any consolation to you, you will never age beyond your present appearance. The suit has built in gas, biological, and regeneration capabilities, which you may or may not have discovered by now. You will never get sick, or injured beyond the capabilities of the suit to repair, short of abrupt and violent disintegration as in an explosion or the like. Biological agents will not be able to enter the suit, thus you are immune to all known, and probably some unknown (since the technology of the suit is alien) poisons or gasses. In short, you will be as you now are, until old age claims you and even that will be deferred because of the systems built into the suit. You will likely have a life twice as long as your original one would have been. I estimated, in my research, that your age at the time of your death, if by old age, will be in the neighborhood of 200+ years.

I added these systems after the suits were deemed ready for testing, in the event of an accidental bonding, since such WAS hinted at in the research. I sincerely hope that you never have to access this section, but if you do, please accept my humble apologies once again, and my hope that the information I have included will help you become more comfortable with, and resigned to, the life, which is now yours. The suits are an enormous benefit and an awesome responsibility. They contain more personal power than any human has ever possessed. Please use them to help humanity if you can, and don't hate me for what my research has done to you, whoever you are.

Regretfully, Dr. Howard Fine

 

What followed was s series of, well I guess you'd call them, instructional kinda videos. They covered everything from makeup application, though I'd thought that what was already on the suit was permanent, I guess it wasn't) to detailed instructions on female behavior, mannerisms, gestures and hair care. At the end of that section was an accept/do not accept kind of mental toggle switch. Reading further, I discovered that, by flicking the switch and accepting, it would load all those things into the suit's internal memory, effectively giving me the instant knowledge of how to do those things, much the same way the suit made me move and sound like a woman. So, if I accepted the knowledge, it would become as second nature to me as breathing. Yikes!

I decided, after recovering from this latest mental shock, to wait until I had discussed this with everyone concerned. I realized that I didn't have a whole lotta choice in this though. Even if I didn't accept the knowledge, I would still be stuck appearing to the world to be a very attractive, approximately 20-25 year old female.

More than somewhat dazed, I finished my morning ablutions and exited the bathroom, my mind spinning. I laid back down on the bed and tried to digest what I'd just learned. At first I blazed with hatred for Dr. Fine and his "alien" research. Why ME? Why couldn't it have been Jerry stuck in this damned thing? At least then I could look like the guy I'd always been, but NOOOOOOOO! I hadda be the stupid guinea pig in the female suit that damned day! Then, for a few minutes I raged, mentally at Jerry who's fooling around had led to the collapse of the lab and, eventually to my getting bonded to the stupid thing. I quickly realized that that line of thinking was flawed because we had both been fooling around that day. It was just dumb luck, or the lack of it that had led to us both getting stuck in these things. In his own way, Jerry was just as bad off as I was. Sure he still looked male, but he didn't look anything like his old self and was just as alienated (no pun intended) from his loved ones as I was…..well, almost anyway.

Finally I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to go tell the others of this latest development. I dressed quickly and simply in jeans and a sweatshirt (never mind what kind of underwear, okay?) and went to find the others. They were all at my parent's cabin, having some kind of meeting. When I entered, they all went silent, looking at me. Finally I had to speak, just to break the silence.

"Uh…morning everyone. I'm sorry if I caused anyone any worry yesterday, but I had a lot to think about. If you'll all be patient with me, I'll explain what happened and what I've discovered."

I proceeded to tell them about our walk, the kiss, my reaction to it, and the revelation of what was in the programming of the suit. Jerry said,

"Duder! Where's that on the HUD?"

I told him, but he couldn't access any area like it.

"Maybe it's because you aren't bonded to the suit, the way I am to this one." I said. I can give ya the gist of what's in there, but most of it covers what I have to do and the way I have to do it as a female. It looks like I'm stuck like this permanently, so you're all gonna have to bear with me as I get used to the thought that I'm always gonna be the way you see me now. The stuff Dr. Fine included will help me a lot, but it's still gonna take a lotta adjustment on ALL out parts so if I seem to act weird or something, it's just me trying to resign myself to a whole new life, VERY different from what I'd ever imagined or wanted for myself."

"There's also the issue of how we're gonna handle using these suits. We can't keep hiding forever. Sooner or later we are gonna have to face these people, whoever they are, who were trying to kidnap or kill us. There's also the question of how to keep all of you safe, because sooner or later, Jerry and I are gonna become well known. There's no way we can use these suits the way Dr. Fine suggests, and NOT get noticed."

Well, when I stopped talking for a second, there was a rush of babble as everyone tried to talk at the same time. Finally I held up my hand and motioned for them all to quiet down and let me finish.

"There's one other thing. Jerry? You and I gotta talk…privately. The rest of you, I'm sorry about all of this, but this is something that Jerry and I gotta get right between us. We'll be over at our cabin. You have all the information that I have, so please discuss it and see if you can come up with some answers as to what we're gonna do, and when is best to do it, or at least start doing it. Understand as I do though. There's NO way out of this. We're all stuck with what's happened and the sooner we resign ourselves to that fact, the sooner we can get on with our lives, however changed they might be. Jerry? Let's go."

I led Jerry back to the cabin we shared and had him sit down while I talked. I couldn't sit. I had to pace. Chalk it up to nervous energy.

"Okay Jerry. Here it is. Please don't say anything until I finish, because if I have to stop, I'll never get everything said that I need to get said."

I stopped pacing for a minute and faced him, taking his hand in mine.

"First of all, I forgive you for that….kiss. I do understand why you did it, even though it wasn't at all what I expected. It wasn't all that bad and, looking back on it, it was kinda nice to be held and comforted, even if it was you doing it. Now, from all I can ascertain, I'm gonna look like this for the rest of my life, which according to Dr. Fine, is gonna be a lot longer than it would have been without the suit. I'm gonna have to live it looking the way I do and I'm gonna need a lot of help from everyone to do it, but I'm gonna need your help more than anyone else's. You and I have been best 'buds' since almost before we could talk, and I see no reason for that to change, except that we're gonna have to do it as a guy and a girl. I dunno how that's gonna work out or where it's gonna lead us, but I do know that there's no way I can do it without you in my life, in whatever way it ends up being."

I paused for breath and to further gather my thoughts and then continued.

"Also, like I told the others, we're gonna have to learn ALL the capabilities of these suits if we're gonna use them the way Dr. Fine intended. We are gonna HAVE to face those goons and either finish them off or convince them that it'd be better for all concerned if they just forgot about us and these suits. I dunno how the hell we're gonna do all of that, but you know it has to be done. We can't be running and hiding for the next 15 or 20 decades!"

Jerry stopped me just then and said,

"Look, Donnie, Donna, whatever! I have told you many times that I am NOT gonna desert you. Like you said, we're 'buds" and buds don't let buds face shit like this alone, right? So all I'm gonna say is that I am NEVER gonna leave ya, not ever! If we get pissed at one another, well we'll just have to deal with that if and when it happens. I've loved ya as a guy pal, and I'll love ya as a girlfriend…I mean, as a girl..friend…oh crap! You know what I mean, right?"

Poor Jerry. He looked so confused by what he was supposed to call me. Finally I sat down on the couch with him and taking both his hands in mine I said,

"Ease off there my friend. You're gonna burn out your poor little brain if you keep on backtracking like that. From now on, I guess you'd better just call me Donna, okay? It'll make my adjustment a little easier if everyone refers to me as who I appear to be. I already know what I'm gonna have to do and, as difficult as it is to say goodbye to the life I thought I was gonna have, I have a feeling that this new one is gonna be a real trip! Okay, so I'm gonna have to live it as a girl, but damn it Jerry, we got friggin superpowers! We're gonna have to learn how to use them to their best advantage, but we can do it if we stick together."

Jerry reached over to me and drew me closer to him, putting his arms around me, holding me tight.

"Of course you're right, duder…..I mean dudette? Well, whatever, you ain't gonna get rid of me. Sure it ain't gonna be easy, but together, we'll do it, somehow, right?"

I settled into Jerry's embrace, realizing that what I was gonna do next was gonna change my life more than anything ever had, but knowing that I had to do it. I let out a long sigh, accessed that portion of the HUD…….and flipped that little switch.

  

  

  

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