This a story about a well known actress that died some years back. Her earliest history is shrouded in the mist of time and some adroit subterfuge on her part. I have taken the liberty of changing her name to Sarah as most all of the readers would recognize her right away if I did not. Her memory in our hearts is well established, and to cast any doubt at this time would be unfair to her accomplishments. I was given her personal diaries by her daughter, so that I could offer a more complete account to you. I leave it to the reader to guess on her real identity. The Author

 

Tommy                                           by Janet L. Stickney                                   JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

Tom ran as fast as he could, trying to catch the train to Chicago, his coattails flying behind him, hat in hand, running as fast as his 14 year old legs would carry him. He just barely made it, pulling himself aboard as the train gained speed and took him headlong into his destiny. His dirty clothes attracted no attention since so many others were in the same condition as he was, tired, anxious, hungry and broke. He had spent his very last bit of money for the train fare, hoping he would be able to find work in Chicago, since he was willing to work. The train whistle moaned as they crossed the great expanse of the new land, the gentle rocking of the car slowly sapping his will to stay awake. Occasionally he awoke to the snores of the others around him, and he took a moment to stare out the dark window, trying to see if he could see his future.

Tom was the product of a drunken cop and an itinerant whore that always seemed to want him away from the house. Between her "boyfriends", and his Fathers bouts of drunken anger, Tom saw no future for him there. He carefully saved his pennies, tried to keep his one pair of pants in good repair and planned his escape. As the train went into the night he considered his actions, the sound of the rails talked to him. "You were right", "You were right", "You were right". The clickity clack slowed, and finally stopped. Tom awoke to the sounds of a growing excitement among the others passengers. "CHICAGO! ALL FOR CHICAGO!" Tom stretched his legs and walked to the door of the train car, the crowds of milling people momentarily shocking him. He did not realize that Chicago was so busy! He stepped off the ramp, tripped, and landed at the feet of his future.

He looked up into the eyes of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He was captivated by her entire being. The aroma of her perfume assaulting his nose, the bright green of her eyes beckoning him. She reached down to help him up, all 108 pounds of him. "You should be more careful young man! " "I'm...I'm sorry Ma'am." She took him by the shoulder and spun him around. The woman spoke to an unseen friend behind her. "Look what I found! Maybe he'll be just fine for the job Harry." Before Harry could say anything, Tom turned to face the woman. "I can do any kind of job Ma'am! I'll work hard, really, I will!" His excited tone prompted Harry to speak for the first time. "Listen kid, we're looking for a.....special kind of young man. Can you sing? Dance?" Tom shook his head no, and the man continued. "Never mind we'll teach you everything that you need to know." Harry turned to the woman, and for the first time Tom heard her name, "Maybe Lily. You know that I prefer tryouts, but since Alice got sick and had to quit, we'll give the kid a chance." Harry asked Tom if he had eaten anything on the trip out, but looking at the ragtag kid standing there, he could see that the answer was no, so he took Lily by the arm and Tom by the elbow and headed for a restaurant.

Tom had never been in a place where there was enough food for everyone, on clean plates, and not rat or lice infested. He did not know what to do! He decided to do whatever Harry and Lily did. The restaurant was crowded with travelers waiting for their own trains to come or go, and the smell of the stockyards more than a faint reminder of where he was. Lily made sure that he had plenty to eat, including an ice cream! Tom had seen ice cream before of course, but he had never had one. The icy chocolate tasted bitter at first, but he grew to enjoy it, and was disappointed when he had finally finished it. When they reached the door, Lily turned and spoke to Harry. "I'll take him with me Harry, I'll see that he gets cleaned up, and maybe even dressed. Come by later before the show, say at 8 tonight." Lily took Tom by the hand and they walked out of the gigantic train station and into the bright sunshine. Lily hailed a cab and when they were seated, had them taken to 118 Gordian Street. Her house was all pink and white, crenalated in the Victorian manner of the times. Lily gathered up her voluminous skirts and stepped onto the curb followed closely by Tom.

She led him into a massive parlor all decorated in soft blues and white Irish lace, Tiffany lamps lighting the room. "Come upstairs Tom. Lets get you cleaned up." She showed him the tub and ordered him in. "You'll find soap in the dish, and towels on the rack. Wash everything! Hair and all. I'll be back for you." She left him to wash, standing outside the door as he handed his clothes out to her. When she heard the water running, she promptly tossed his clothes into the trash! When at last he stepped out of the bathroom, his body was shriveled from the warm water, wrapped in a large towel that went from his shoulders almost to the floor. He had had only two complete baths in his entire life, and this was the second! He was alone in the room, so he started to look around. The canopy bed was all done in yellow and white, the walls in a soft ivory, and the furniture white with gold trim to accent the room. he had never seen such luxury. Without knocking, Lily walked in on him as he was looking around. "I was just looking around! Honest Ma'am!" "It's okay. Stand there and let me take a good look at you." His skin glowed with a sheen that the young only seem to have. His once dirty hair was actually a reddish auburn that belied his Irish heritage, his green eyes open in awe of his surroundings, and his thin frame almost overcome in the large towel he was using. "How would you like to work with me? Be my protege and house mate? My friend Alice came down with something and had to quit the show. I need a young girl to play a part, but I think you would do a fine job." "A girl!? Me!? What would I have to do?" "Well, I would have to help you, but I want you to play a part in my new production of Swans Place. Alice, the girl that had the part can't continue, so if you want to try it, I'll help you get ready and show you what to do." Lily looked at the young man, and mentally pictured what he would look like as a young lady. "I'll try anything and do the best I can Ma'am, but I've never done anything like this before." He felt stupid standing there in nothing but a towel, but Lily didn't seem to mind. "Sit down over here by me Tom, and tell me everything about yourself." Sitting there in nothing but a towel, he felt naked, but she seemed very nice, so he began to tell her. "Well, as far as I know I'm 14, my Father is a cop in New York, and my Mother is a,.....well she has a lot of company if you know what I mean. I went as far a third grade in school before I had to quit. I got a job in a stable to help out at home. My Dad drank a lot and beat me all of the time, so I decided to leave. I guess that's all." Lily looked at this forlorn kid sitting there, knowing that he took a very big chance in running away. She also knew that there was more than just an occasional spanking involved here. "Well Tom, I still don't know your whole name. What is it?" "Thomas Evelyn Townesend Miss Lily."

"Let me tell you about me. I'm in the theater. In Vaudeville as a matter of fact, I own the Strand over on Rapid Street, and Harry manages it for me. My name is Lillian Marie Farley, Harry is Harry Granger, I own this house, and I live here by myself. My stage partner of many years died recently, and I hired Alice to take her place. But now she is ill, and I need someone to take her place. I want you to be that person Tom. You just told me that you'll try anything, and do your best, so I want you to try this. If it works out, you can make as much as $50 a week. If you really don't like it, then I'll give you the $50 and a new suit of clothes, and you can be on your way." The amounts she mentioned were unheard of sums to him! He must have grinned or something, because the next thing he knew, she was talking like he had agreed. "I will have to help you get dressed for a while, until you learn how. Let's get started shall we?" Tom was still distracted a little. His Father would have to work many months to make $50, and here he was, being told he could make that in a single week! Lily opened some of the dresser drawers and began pulling out some clothes for him to wear. He looked to see what she had laid on the bed, and it was very definitely feminine clothing! Lily handed him a pair of bloomers and told him to put them on. "These used to be mine Tom. But I think they'll fit you alright." When he had them on, he saw that they came to just above the knees, and had red ribbon laced through them and tied in bows at the knees and waist. She had him slip a camisole over his head , and then she straightened it out, just before she began lacing him into a corset. "This will give you a very definite shape and make your clothes fit better. Lily continued lacing and tightening until she was satisfied. He felt like he had been laced into a sausage casing, but he could see that it gave him a more feminine shape. She slipped some small padding into the corset to fill out his figure a little, and then continued to help him dress. A slip, followed by several petticoats, hosiery, and then the shoes. The shoes were black with a 2" heel. Lily left Tom standing there as she opened one of the closets and selected what he would wear that night.

What Lily selected for him was a soft green dress with ivory lace trim, high necked, long sleeved, and very full skirted. So full skirted in fact that the bottom of the dress was almost 5 feet in diameter! "Come over her and sit down Tom. I'll show you how to do the makeup." Lily proceeded to help him apply the foundation, eye shadow, blusher and eye liner. Then she took a fully prepared wig that appeared to Tom as nothing more than a mass of curls. Lily brushed his own longish hair back, and used a clip to secure it before she carefully pulled the wig onto his head. At her urging he stood up and she helped him slip the dress over his head. Lily began buttoning the dress up the back. The dress hugged his newly acquired shape and all evidence that he was a male disappeared under the layers of lace and satin. Lily clipped some rhinestone earrings on his ears, and helped him fasten the matching necklace and bracelet. "Just one more thing and you'll be all set Tom." She pinned a hat to the top of his head that had a trailing veil of sheer material. The hat was also green and ivory, and sat on his head perfectly. "Now go look in the mirror." Lily led him to a floor length mirror, and for the first time he saw himself. He was a picture of a well bred debutante from the Ante-bellum of the South.

"You'll be the most beautiful young lady there tonight Tom. But we can't call you Tom when you're dressed like this can we? How about Sarah? Can I call you Sarah tonight?" Lily's question was almost lost on him as he stared into the mirror, seeing not himself, but a wonderful new self. The sensation of satin against his skin, the smells of the makeup and the perfume Lily had applied to his neck, the unfamiliar feel of high heels, and the constraints of the corset combined to make him feel....girlish is the word that came to his mind. Feminine is more accurate. "I...I...I'd like that Miss Lily. But why am I dressed like a girl now?" "Because silly, you'll be on stage with me tonight, playing the part of Andrea, my niece, and we're short of time already. You only have a few lines, and you have to stand where I tell you. You'll do fine! I'll show everything you need to know. We have to be a the theater by 6:30, so lets go get a light snack, and then I want to make a few stops on the way to the theater.

Tom was scared almost out of his wits as they walked out into the fading sunlight of afternoon, but he soon relaxed when he realized that nobody paid any attention to him! They stopped at Antonio's for a light meal, Lily introducing him as "Sarah, my niece from New York." He carefully watched how she sat and used her hands, and did his best to mimic her. The waiters and the owner treated Sarah like royalty. Polite, almost fawning over her. It was a far cry from the snubs he received at restaurants even when he was applying for a job. When they left, Lily guided him into a dress shop. "Good afternoon Lily! How can we help you today?" The woman spoke to Lily in the deferential tones merchants save for their very best customers. "This is Sarah, my niece, and the poor dear hasn't got a thing to wear. I want to make a private appointment for her to be fitted tomorrow. Can you make room for us?" The woman was ecstatic. Lily was known to spend hundreds of dollars at a time. There was no doubt that the owner would make time for Lily's niece! "Of course Madam! We open at 8, if you come at 10 I will close the shop for as long as it takes to fit your niece." "Very well. We shall be here at 10. Thank you." Lily once again took Sarah by the arm and they walked the few steps to the corner where they hailed a cab to take them to the theater.

Lily walked Sarah through the lines she would have to say, and the spot she would have to stand on. Sarah had never been on stage before, but she felt that she could do a respectable job. When at last the curtain went up, Lily walked on stage in the most beautiful yellow gown that Tom had ever seen. The other characters walked on and off the stage, saying their lines, acting out the emotion of the parts. He walked on stage at the right time, and when at last he had to speak, he also put the emotion of his character into the words. He was to stay on stage until the curtain finally dropped, and Lily held his hand for the curtain calls, all three of them. He was in awe of the adoration from the audience. When at last they walked to the rear of the stage, Harry met them. "Kid. you were sensational! They loved you! You'll have to stay, and of course, you own that part now. You are going to be a star!" Lily hugged him, I just knew that you would do fine Sarah. Lets celebrate!" Harry offered to take them to Billy's Bar, a well known hangout of the rich and famous. Sarah was on cloud nine! The events of the past few days had changed the direction his life would take...forever. His first train ride, his first time in girls clothes, and his first time on stage. He was only 14, it was 1899, and the turn of the century was only a few months away.

They took an open cab drawn by a brace of beautiful white horses to Billy's Bar. The doorman held Sarah's hand as he stepped down from the carriage, and he found out why women always held their dresses up with one hand, they'd trip if they did not! He was led to a table and after they were seated, patrons of the theater came to the table to congratulate the newest member of the troupe on a job very well done. All of the men wanted to kiss "her" hand, and several of the young men asked her to dance. But Lily told them she was to young for that sort of thing, and hurried them away with thanks and a smile. They stayed at the Bar until the late papers came out, and after quickly scanning the reviews, Harry said to Sarah, "You were mentioned here! It says they are "in awe of the talent shown by the ingenue Sarah Farley in her brief appearance tonight. We anticipate great things from her." Sarah sat there smiling, her grin went from ear to ear. "We have an early appointment Harry, so we'll have to be going. See you tomorrow night at the theater." Lily and Sarah gathered their things and left for home.

On the way home, Lily asked the critical question. "Well my dear, what do you think, can you stay here, as Sarah, and continue with the show?" "Oh! I love it! But how can I be Sarah all of the time? Won't somebody find out? Will I continue to be your niece? What about school?" "Okay Sarah, wait a minute, slow down. We're almost home, lets discuss it there." When they were back home and sitting in Lily's parlor, Sarah sat on the edge of her chair, facing Lily, waiting to find out what was in store for her. "Sarah, I want to be frank with you. Once you embark on this course, there will be no turning back. You have already made a name for yourself, been mentioned in the paper, and people will expect you to appear in other productions. Remember when we stopped at the dress shop today?, well she is aware of the needs of male actresses, and has special items to help us appear as women so I made an appointment for you. You'll have to let your hair grow of course, and always keep your body shaved of all hair, and spend hours perfecting the mannerisms that women have naturally, always watch your diet, and train your voice. Its very hard work, and now is the best chance you'll have to make this very important decision. I say best since you are young enough to grow into it, rather than start later in life." Sarah looked at her, pondering what she said, and then asked what she meant by "us". Lily paused, wondering if she should reveal her deepest secret, but in the end, her slip of the tongue and her asking Tom to assume the role of a woman, full time, made the decision for her. "Sarah, I'm a male, just like you. I started at about the same age as you, and after 20 years, there is no return for me. I'm too well known now." Sarah's mouth dropped open in startled surprise. "But you are beautiful! The people at the theater said that women all over try to dress like you. I heard a woman at Billy's say that she was going to find a copy of the dress you had on tonight and spend any amount to get it!" Sarah ran out of words, and Lily continued. " Can I assume that you want to continue?" Sarah nodded her head yes, and then jumped into Lily's arms as they shared a secret that neither of them could ever divulge. Sarah wept tears of confusion, joy, and sadness. Lily held her tightly in her arms, gently rocking Sarah until she stopped crying. "Sarah" the softly spoken name in her ear made her look up into the liquid pools of Lily's eyes. Sarah saw the understanding in her eyes, and knew that Lily had also made this same choice. "Let's go to bed little one. Come, I'll undo your dress and corset. Sleep well, we get an early start tomorrow.

Sarah climbed into the bed, feeling for the first time in her memory the sensation of clean sheets. She laid there wondering if she was on the right course. Boys didn't wear dresses, but on the other hand, she found she did not feel uncomfortable in them. Sarah considered everything, and decided that she would stay Sarah. After all, she was eating regular and it looked like Lily and Harry would be her "family". Sarah finally slept, and was only slightly startled when Lily came in and woke her at 8. "For correct fittings and to save some time, lets forgo the corset Sarah. I want you to pay close attention to what I do so that you'll be able to do it yourself." Lily once again helped her get dressed, do makeup and put the wig on. The dress however was a plain gray, with pink trim, but just as tight and full as the one she wore the night before. They ate a quick breakfast and took a cab to the dress shop. "Ah, there you are Madam. And your charming niece Sarah! Please come this way." The woman put the closed sign on the door and locked it. They walked to the back of the store, and the owner asked Sarah to disrobe and stand on a small pedestal. When Sarah was wearing nothing but the bloomers, the woman, showing no surprise at his lack of feminine attributes (boobs), began to measure him up. She retrieved several items from the storeroom. "Please step in there and remove the bloomers and try these on." She handed him a pair of the newest design in underwear. A full cut panty. When Sarah stepped back onto the pedestal, she had done an admirable job of hiding her maleness, but the woman paid no attention and just continued. Sarah was laced into a front lacing corset that she could manage by herself. It pushed what little fat she had up and down, helping to give her the feminine figure she needed. Soft flesh colored forms were slipped into the cups of the corset and gave the illusion of cleavage. Her tights were replaced with silk stockings, and fastened to the garters of the corset. The unfamiliar tautness of the straps making Sarah want to reach down and pull them up.

By the time they finally got to trying on dresses, an hour and a half had gone by. Sarah was fitted into several nice gowns, none that showed actual cleavage, only hinted at it. After all, she was only 14. It was lunch time when they left the store, bundles of clothes piled into the carriage. Sarah and Lily took everything home and into what was now Sarah's room, and put everything on the bed. "Lets have a few sandwiches, and then you can put all of the new clothes away." Sarah went to the kitchen to help make lunch. Lily excused herself and Sarah went to her room. She slowly unwrapped all of the clothes, once again marveling at the softness of the material. The bloomers had all been replaced with panties, all white, 6 pair. The corset she had on was white, but she also had them in black and red. The camisoles and slips were all silk, white and ivory, three of each. She had seven pairs of stockings, a complete set of garters for each corset in matching colors, and two bras, 34A. The first gown she unwrapped was one she had picked out herself. It was all pink with white ruffles at the cuffs of the short sleeves, and around the modestly cut neckline, and on a diagonal from the waist to the hem. It wasn't quite as full as the others she had worn, but full none the less. The next one was definitely a party dress. It was sparkling blue off the shoulder full skirted ball gown that had a shear tulle top that only allowed a hint of her breasts. It required that she wear the corset laced as tight as she could get it to wear this dress. But she liked it and so she was willing to lace up tighter.

The third dress was more for church. It was a dark green, long sleeved dress that also went to the floor. The trim was camel colored, and only adorned the edges of the cuffs, and the matching jacket. Her only hat was for this dress, and it had a stiff tulle veil intertwined with a camel ribbon that went down her back. Putting everything away, she looked closer at the dresses in the closet, and saw that they had all been worn before. Some of them looked like they would fit her, so she began to try them on. It was several hours later before Sarah had determined which of the clothes in the closet she could wear, and it was, to her surprise, most of them! The under garments in the dresser were also worn but clean, and she sorted through them, discarding the ones that she would not need, and refolding and placing them back into the drawers. Lily walked in as Sarah was folding a pile of clothes laying on the bed. "I see you decided to look around! Good! I was wondering if I would have to give these old clothes of mine away to make room for your things or not."

"Lily, I've decided that I should continue to be Sarah. The other night you used the name Farley when you introduced me. That's your last name. Do you want me to change my whole name?" "Not if you don't want to honey. It's just, well, I always wanted to have a daughter, but of course that's impossible for me, so I thought that maybe...maybe you'd be the daughter I never had." Silence hung in the air as Sarah saw Lily turn her head and look out of the window. When Lily turned back, Sarah was smiling at her. "I ran away from a whore Mother and a drunken Father to find my future. I can read and write some, but I never expected to find someone that wanted to actually love me for myself. I never wore girls clothes before, but somehow I feel like I was supposed to! Know what I mean? What do we have to do to change my name? Sarah Farley is a nice name, but what about a middle name?" Lily told her she should just keep Evelyn, sort of a reminder of her past. "So my name will be Sarah Evelyn Farley! I was also wondering, can I...call you..Mother?" Lily's heart almost jumped out of her chest. This child had accepted her offer of love and home with barely a backward look. "I'll call my lawyer and let him take care of everything. We need to get you into school as well. You can work at the theater between terms and when your on break. We'll work everything else out." Sarah ran to Lily and hugged her tight. The strange feeling of being wanted washing over Sarah. The two of them held on for a while, tears washing away the doubts they held. Finally, Lily asked Sarah if she was hungry, and the two of them went downstairs and made a small dinner.

The next day Sarah was enrolled in a school that catered to those children that worked the theater. Life became humdrum as she got up early and went to school, studied in the afternoon, and did her stage production in the evening, finally getting to bed around 11 each day. Sarah's birthday was actually September 20^th, but she and Lily changed it to June 10^th, to coincide with her arrival in Chicago, and her new "birth". But on September 20^th, Lily threw a surprise party for her anyway, having invited several of the other girls her age from the school. Sarah was now 15, and the world was about to embark on the war to end all wars. Sarah and the other girls from the theaters around Chicago volunteered their time to visit the local hospitals and do small stage productions for the wounded. The actors continued their efforts until the end of the war, and it was at one of these hospitals that Sarah met the man that would change her life even more than Lily did. Sarah did extremely well in school, and she had begun writing scripts and short comedy acts. As some of the other actors began to notice her ability, they also used some of her material. The money she earned from these efforts almost tripled her income! She also gained enough confidence in her feminine presentation that she now, emotionally, felt she was a woman. Of course, in 1914, the Doctors hadn't discovered the miracle of hormones yet, so she was forced to seek out a specialist, someone that she could trust as well as she did Lily.

Curtis had worked for Goodyear before he enlisted in the army, and specialized in latex products in the experimental labs. But he was injured during the last offensive in France 1918, having been shot in the lower leg. Sarah was there when the surgeons brought him into the ward. They could not save his leg, and the Doctors were forced to amputate it. "Hi soldier, my name is Sarah. Is there anything I can get you? A book?" His smiled belied his injury, but he took one look at Sarah and lost all notion of his injury. By the age of 19, Sarah was every inch the woman. She had taken good care of herself. Continued plucking of her sparse beard over the past several years had almost completely removed it. Her diet had kept her weight at a trim 115 pounds, and the corsets she had worn every day for the last 4 years had given her a very svelte figure indeed. Her hair was now down to the middle of her back if it was not pinned up, and the natural chestnut color shone in the afternoon sun filtering through the windows. Curtis fell in love with her right on the spot! Sarah knew that soldiers were susceptible to, and often fell for their nurses, and she had developed methods to keep that from happening. But in this case, she also found herself strongly attracted. As the days passed, she visited him daily, staying well past the time limit she normally set. They talked about everything happening, and what the future might bring. Finally, on the day he was to be released, he asked her to have lunch with him. Sarah agreed, and they went to Wellingtons Steak House. Curtis and Sarah had a quiet lunch, and then she told him she had to get to work. She agreed to let him call on her Sunday afternoon.

She and Lily talked about her "young man", and Sarah was reminded of her status once again. As much as she might think of herself as a woman, she was not. A man in her life could destroy everything she had worked for. As we all know well, the heart does not always listen closely to the brain, and Sarah, like all young women, wanted a boyfriend, and she had fallen for Curtis, fallen hard. Sunday came, and right on time, Curtis knocked on her door, and after the introductions were offered, he and Sarah left for the park, and the planned picnic. He had purchased a new Ford Model T, and she was excited to be able to ride in one. It was her first ride in an automobile in fact. Needless to say, Sarah was like a moth to the flame of Curtis' desire. On the third time they went out, it was for a ride in the country. That is where he kissed her for the first time. The gentle caress of his lips against hers sent shivers of delight up her spine, and for all time, she lost her heart to him.

Curtis went back to work at Goodyear, and Sarah began to get more challenging roles, both within and outside of, Vaudeville. She got rave reviews for her work in Jim Landens production of Mac Beth, and she started to get bigger and better roles. She and Lily and Harry went to New York so she could appear in the 1919 stage production of Major Doolittle, in which she was mentioned as a promising actress of the "legitimate" stage. Curtis in the meantime had began to develop an artificial knee and ankle joint that would allow for better mobility to those that needed joint or limb replacements. When his efforts were offered to the medical community he became an instant hero, and money no longer became a problem for him. He rushed to New York to see Sarah, with every intention of asking her to marry him. When at last he found her, he could hardly wait to ask her.

"Sarah. I want you to marry me. I make enough money now, and we can start with every advantage. In fact, I refuse to leave unless you agree to marry me!" Sarah knew that what he wanted was not possible, and in a fit of anger and self pity, ran to her room and slammed the door. Harry and Lily, hearing the commotion came into the room. After Curtis told them that he had asked Sarah to marry him, and her reaction, Lily went to Sarah's room, while Harry stayed with Curtis.

"Sarah, you have to tell him. If he loves you as much as he says he does, he'll keep your secret. Harry is my Curtis. We fell in love a long time ago, and although it was hard, we managed to overcome the obvious obstacles. It's your decision, but you either have to tell him and hope for the best, or let him go." Sarah was torn between confessing all, and fear of his rejection. Sarah looked into Lily's eyes, seeing the understanding that only a Mother and close loved ones can convey. "I suppose I should tell him. Will you and Harry be there?" "We'll be right there Sarah." hand in hand the two of them walked back downstairs. Curtis was pacing the floor, wondering what he did wrong. When he saw Sarah and Lily walk into the room he made a motion to go to Sarah and hold her tight, but Harry grabbed his elbow and held him back. "Sit down Curtis, I have something to tell you that will probably change your mind about marrying me." Sarah sat next to Lily, holding her hand tightly in her own, while Curtis sat in a high wing back chair across from them, and Harry began to pace the floor. "Curtis, you know how much I love you, but you should know that I can never have children." "We can adopt some Sarah!" "Please Curtis, let me finish." Taking a deep breath and looking Curtis in the eye, Sarah told him her secret. "Curtis, I'm a male just like you." Lily, Harry, and especially Sarah waited while Curtis digested the stunning news. "I can't believe it! You're kidding right?" But the look in Sarah's eye told him that she was not kidding. "I have to go Sarah. Good-bye."

"Oh Lily! He left! I'm going to be ruined." Sarah slowly went to her room and closed the door. She could keep the tears no longer, and began to sob, almost uncontrollable were her sobs. Harry and Lily wanted to try and soothe the hurt, but neither of them knew of any words that could make a broken heart feel better. So they let Sarah cry it out. It wasn't until 10 the next morning that Sarah showed her face in the parlor. "I've decided that it'll be my word against his if he decides to tell everyone about me. Nobody knows me as anything but Sarah. I guess that's all I have to say." Lily and Harry rushed to her side, and they both gave her the embrace that told Sarah that they supported her. "Lets you and I make some breakfast Sarah." They left Harry to his paper, and went into the kitchen. "I'm glad that you choose to stand your ground Sarah, it proves what I knew all along, that you are a strong person, and you'll get through this just fine." Sarah didn't say much during breakfast, and then she retired to the porch to enjoy the sun. She heard the sound of a car long before it turned up her street, then she saw Curtis driving, and watched him park at the curb in front of the house.

He strolled up to the house, mounted the steps and walked right up to Sarah, took her hand and pulled her to him and gently stroked her hair, just before he kissed her. "I only know Sarah the woman. Not somebody else. I can't live without you Sarah, be my wife, we can work out everything else." She stayed there, held in his arms as he stroked her hair. Sarah, don't you think we should tell your Mother?" He took her hand in his, and they went into the house. Curtis was excited as the two of them stood there, in front of Harry and Lily. "Mother, Harry, Curtis still wants me to marry him!" "Yes Ma'am. I decided that Sarah and I can work out our problems together. I simply can't live without her! I am now formally asking your permission to marry Sarah." Neither Harry or Lily objected. Harry clapped him on the back, and Lily hugged Sarah to her, as smiles radiated throughout the room. "Sarah, I have something for you." He held out an engagement ring to her on an open palm. Sarah took it and slipped it on her finger, grinning the whole time. "Why don't we have a late picnic? Sarah and I can pack some sandwiches and a thermos of coffee!" Lily and Sarah went to the kitchen to make the sandwiches and coffee. The rest of the day was a delightful fulfillment of a dream that Lily had carried in her heart for a long time. Her "daughter" had completed her family, and now, that daughter was about to be married! At the park, Sarah and Curtis drifted away, and sought the seclusion and privacy they needed.

"Curtis, I'm sure that we can work out everything. I can't have babies, but you were right, maybe we could adopt. As for the rest, well, I...I've never been with a man, so I'm not sure what we can do, but if your willing to accept me as I am, then we can make a family even if we do adopt. " Curtis took her gently in his arms and kissed her with a renewed passion, desire bubbling to the surface. Curtis and Sarah found themselves in love, and were strong enough to overlook the obvious problems. They spent the afternoon talking about the future, and how they would meet the challenges they would face. When at last the time came for them to return home, they gathered their things and Curtis drove them all back into town. Afterwards. Curtis and Sarah sat on the porch. "Curtis, We have to be absolutely sure about this. Both of our lives, as well as our careers are at stake here. I don't mind telling you that I'm scared, and very concerned." She held his hand, and when he gently squeezed it, Sarah looked into his eyes, trying to see the answer that they both searched for. The soft sounds of his baritone voice tended to calm her, and as he looked away, out towards the fading sun, he spoke to her. "Sarah, I know what we face. But it comes down to this. I simply cannot bear to be without you. Lets worry about things as they come along and not anticipate them. I have to go. I am working on a new project and I have to be there early. I'll stop by tomorrow night." Their goodnight kiss was full of the passion he felt for Sarah. She watched him go, excited about his acceptance of her status and his love for her. "Sarah, Harry and I have decided to get married!" Lily's announcement took Sarah by surprise, but she knew that it was what both Lily and Harry had wanted to do for some time.

Curtis and Sarah planned on a wedding the following June, Lily and Harry got married in December. Curtis had begun to make stage props for the various shows, and had also made some fake arms and legs for the new thing called Movies. His continuing work in the uses of latex, led him to make a complete body form for a female. Using mannequins he perfected it, and finally, when he was ready, he asked Sarah to let him make a body mold so he could make her one. She agreed, and they went to his laboratory. "This is a light grease honey. You'll need it to protect your skin from the heat of the drying plaster." He smeared it on her, and began to cover her with plaster. When it was dry, he cut the mold in half from the armpit to the hip. "I'll just go clean up Curtis. I'll be right back." Sarah left, wrapped in a towel, and went to the bathroom for a bath. He had asked Sarah to wear a bra, so that the latex form would have the breasts made as an integral part of it. Curtis wasted no time in preparing the mixture he had developed. He colored it so it matched Sarah's skin tone, and began to pour it into the now rejoined molds. Just as he finished, Sarah returned. "It takes several hours for it to cure Sarah, why don't we go and have some dinner." They walked hand in hand to the cafe, and as usual spent most of their dinner hour looking into each others eyes. They had been to the diner many times, and Rosie the owner knew love when she saw it. These two, she thought to herself, were definitely in love with a capital L!

When they returned to the lab, the molds had cured, and Curtis carefully peeled the latex form away from the plaster. Curtis laid the form on a table and took a very sharp knife and cut away the back almost to the waist. When he was done, it resembled a modern day swimsuit. He took the knife and hollowed out the area behind each breast and filled it with a gelatin, and sealed it with a thin piece of the back he had just removed. He made a small slit in the crotch so she could use the bathroom. "Care to try it on Sarah?" he held it up so she could see it, its thinness apparent. Sarah once again went into the small changing room and undressed. Totally naked, she slipped it up her legs and carefully pulled it on. Since it was a result of the direct mold made just hours ago, it was indeed a second skin. Sarah caressed the latex form and could feel even the lightest touch through it. She looked in the mirror and saw for the first time her feminine figure. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked into the lab.

Sarah knew that Curtis was trying to help her in her presentation, but she also knew that if she slowly dropped the towel that she could stir him up some. As she walked in, she swayed her hips and played with the towel in a semi seductive manner. Sarah walked right up to him, stood close to him, and then she dropped the towel. "Sarah, sexy as you are, I need to trim the edges of the suit; so just stop tempting me." Contrite, yet smiling, she stood there as he used a scalpel and a piece of sand cloth to feather the edges of the body suit. "Why don't you get dressed now Sarah, and I'll take you home. That night as Sarah slipped off (or peeled off is actually more correct) the body suit, she knew that Curtis was doing all he could to make Sarah more comfortable, and their marriage, when it came, better. The next day Sarah got dressed early and went to the theater and picked up a jar of **********. Lily and Harry were up by the time she returned home, and she had some breakfast with them before she retired to her room. Quickly undressing, she carefully pulled the body suit on and used the glue on the edges of the suit. With a little makeup, the seams disappeared, and she stood there in front of the mirror admiring her new body. From any angle she was a woman.

"Mother! Mother, can you come up here please?" Lily heard Sarah's call and went upstairs. Sarah waited for her in panties and a wrap. "What is it Sarah?" "Curtis made something for me Mother. Want to see it?" Lily nodded her head yes, and Sarah slipped off her panties, and dropped her wrap to the floor. Standing in front of Lily, she could see the reaction on her Mothers face. "Sarah! How did,...I mean,....when did,.....I guess I don't know what I mean! Curtis made this for you? Its perfect! Now you can do any role you want! I'm impressed!" Sarah stood there soaking up her Mothers admiration, and then as Lily sat there, she got dressed again. "Curtis must really love you honey. He obviously went to a lot of trouble to make this suit for you. I must say, it looks really good!" Sarah and Lily went back downstairs just in time for Sarah to get a telegram.

It was from Carl Jergen the well known pioneer in making movies! "He wants me to star in his next picture!" Sarah was jumping around and squealing her delight when Curtis knocked on the door. "Curtis! Jergens wants me in his next picture! He wants me to be there on Monday for a test of some kind." That's great Sarah! I think there's a big future in these movies." The four of them spent a very pleasant afternoon together, and Curtis stayed until well after dinner that evening. He and Sarah took a ride in his car out to the park. Curtis stopped in a secluded spot, and pulled Sarah to him, and before long, Sarah found herself willing to do anything for him. Curtis took her hand and placed it on his manhood, and when Sarah did not pull away, he released it. For the first time in her life she touched a man other than herself. It's silky smoothness excited her. She began to stroke it, and within minutes Curtis had to apologize for her sticky hand. "I don't want to wait until June when we're married Sarah, I want you now!" The look of pain and love on his face cut to the core of her heart. They were both adults now, and they would be married soon anyway. But she felt that they should wait. It was what she had always dreamed of. "It's only 6 more weeks Curtis. We can wait. Besides, I'll make sure it's worth it!" Since he could never say no to her, he glumly nodded his head, and after they got themselves rearranged, he took her home.

The next day she did a screen test for Mr. Jergens, and at that moment, she started a dynasty of exquisite, exciting films that continued for another 40 years. Sarah did 2 films within the next month before she took some time to get ready for her wedding. It was a gala affair with most of her friends from Vaudeville and the new film community in attendance. She and Lily had kept her dress a secret from even Harry. When Harry stood at the head of the aisle ready to walk her down the aisle, he gasped at his first sight of her. Sarah wore a very low cut gown covered in baby pearls and lace. The top of the dress was covered in a very shear netting that hid everything, and yet revealed all. The skirt of the dress was at least 7' in diameter with a train that took two other girls to carry. Curtis stood at the altar with pride in his heart and his love for Sarah evident to everyone there. His smile alone could have lighted the church. The ceremony was mercifully short and the newly married couple sped to the hall to greet the guests. After several hours of dancing and being stuffed with food and well wishes, they slipped away for a planned month long honeymoon.

Curtis and Sarah did indeed work out the problem of her not being a female. There is no point in describing how they satisfied their needs except to say that Curtis never loved her more and a man never treated any woman more tenderly than Curtis did Sarah. They settled in a house they bought, and she began to make movies once again. She starred in several westerns and was asked to appear in a few slapstick type films. When sound came to the movies many of the actors could not make the adjustment and faded from the scene, but Sarah's voice was strong and clear. She made three movies for RKO and then took a well deserved rest. She and Curtis managed to adopt a little girl they named Carol. She was the love of their life, and Curtis unashamedly spoiled her. Carol never showed an inclination to be in either the movies or on the stage and Sarah did not push her into it like so many others did. It turned out that Carol would be their only child, and she grew up to be a Doctor at St. George's. Sarah's stardom reached its peak when she made a thriller with two well known actors. It was based in Nazi Germany, 1943. When she finished the film she announced that she was retiring from the silver screen after 25 years. Carol gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, which they named Lillian and Harry, after the kids grandparents. Lily had passed on just a few years earlier, and Harry was now living with Sarah and Curtis. His health deteriorating rapidly after the loss of Lily. Less than a month after the kids were born Harry passed away.

Sarah was coaxed out of retirement for a three picture deal, and she did every one as if it were her first. But she tired easily, and just after the last picture, she was sitting on the porch holding Curtis' hand, just like when they first met, and she passed away. All of Hollywood came to her funeral to honor her accomplishments and say good-bye to a talented performer and friend. Sarah's mark on the world began with a desire to improve her status, from a runaway kid to wife, Mother, and finally a star, she impacted our lives. Curtis never dated anyone else, but he squired his granddaughter around town, proud of her and her children. He loved Sarah for the person she was, and his love was true to the end of his life in 1979, at the age of 80.

None of the early facts would be known if Carols daughter had not shared them with me. Rumors always abound about people, but there was never a hint of the shared secret of Sarah's beginning. I'll not break that trust now. It's up to the reader to guess at Sarah and Curtis' true identity.

(the end)

 

 

© 1999
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