The Tomboy Tapes                   by: Karen Elizabeth L.

 

It was going to be another one of those mornings at the breakfast table, I thought as my mother and sister began arguing.

"Why can't you dress up a little bit for school Cindy," Mom sniped. "It wouldn't hurt you to look a little more like a girl now and then you know!"

"I look like most of the other girls mom," Cindy replied in between bites of toast. "The days of wearing dresses and heels to school went out with hoop skirts! Do you want me to look like some kind of freak?"

"I just want you to look your best that's all," Sighed mom. "I want everyone to see what a pretty daughter I have."

"You're sweet mom," Cindy smiled as she chugged down her juice. "Sweet but so old fashioned."

As Cindy ran out the door mom had already turned her attention to poor dad, hounding him about Cindy's looks and grades. "She could do much better in school if she were motivated, I know she could be getting A's and B's instead of the C's she gets now. If I could just find some way to motivate her to dress better and work harder." Mom lamented.

"I understand dear but I can't suggest any new ways to motivate her either," Dad was just as upset as she was but Cindy remained cool and calm no matter how hard they tried to change her. Sometimes it seemed as if they were pushing a big mound of Jell-O, but that couldn't be right, I thought, Jell-O could be molded.

Several weeks later I saw Cindy dumping several cassette tapes into the garbage then trying to cover them over to prevent their being found.

"I've never seen you work so hard Cindy," I joked walking into the room.

"What's up?"

"Motivational tapes," She sneered as she mixed up the trash. "A little present from mom and dad. They figure that if I listen to them I'll work harder in school and it'll even spill over into my home life. I sort of hate to disappoint them but they're not brainwashing me into becoming some little "Goody Two Shoes."

"Hold on a sec, I've heard a lot about those kinds of programs and they're supposed to be really helpful. Why not try them and see, what can it hurt?" I asked eagerly. It wasn't so much that I was eager to help Cindy, more that I saw a chance to be a real pain in her side!

Cindy shrugged and pointed to the trash. "If you're so thrilled about them help yourself, have I mentioned lately that you are such a suck up?" She called, leaving the room.

"But a well motivated one!" I laughed as I cleaned off my newly acquired

treasures. Here was a golden opportunity to show Cindy up, I'd just listen to the tapes myself and when our parents see my report card I'll tell them about the tapes. I put them in the back of one of my desk drawers so that mom wouldn't accidentally run across them, no point ruining my own surprise.

I put the tapes on before going to bed but even with the volume nearly all of the way up I had to listen intently to hear anything then closed my eyes and went to sleep. The next morning I tried my best but just couldn't remember much about the tape. I did know though that it had been a very sound night's sleep and that I was feeling very refreshed and anxious to get started.

"You're looking good this morning Jim," Commented dad. "Ready for that big test today? You need an "A" to pull your grade up for the year you know. "

"Studied all evening dad," I smiled wondering what kind of an edge I'd get from that tape I had listened to. "I can't wait to take it."

"That's wonderful Jim," Mom said as she gave him a hug. "I'm sure you'll get an A."

"Suck up," Scoffed Cindy as she came into the room.

I just smiled and stuck my tongue out at her, I enjoyed being mom's favorite and I wasn't going to start an argument with Cindy at breakfast, that was mom's job.

Mom started up right on schedule. "How were the tapes Cindy, feeling more motivated today?"

"They were great mom, I can't wait to get to school." Cindy shot a quick look at me to see if I'd give her away. We both knew the only motivation for her to get to school was to see her friends, but I'd keep quiet for now! "Gotta run, nice chatting!" She called on her way out the door.

Mom smiled broadly, "I think they're starting to help her already," She told dad. "I can't wait to see her report card; this is going to be a turning point in her life, I just know it will."

"Yes dear, I'm sure they've helped," He mumbled through his newspaper.

"What was that about her report card?"

"Go back to your paper dear," Mom said with an exaggerated sigh. "I'll let you know when your daughter makes the Honor Roll."

"Betcha I get there first," I offered as I took small bites of toast and sipped at my juice. Somehow I just wasn't in my usual hurry to gobble down breakfast, must be that tape calming me down for the test today, I thought to myself.

Mom smiled sweetly and patted me gently on the back. "We're sure you can make it dear, it's Cindy we're worried about. Of course with those tapes she may just pass you up."

"Fat chance mom," I was suddenly defensive. "Cindy will never be as good as me so passing me up would be a fantasy."

"Give your sister a chance Jim," Dad suddenly put down his paper. "You'll feel awfully silly if she beats your grades, so don't start gloating."

"Stupid too." I mumbled under my breath.

Dad took a swipe at me with his rolled up paper. "I heard you, now shut up and give the girl a chance. We went through a lot of trouble getting her to listen to those tapes and we're expecting to see results"

"All right, I'll keep quiet." I replied as I sulked out the door feeling very let down. "But don't expect too much, we all know there isn't that much to work with." I wanted to add, especially since she's not even listening to them. I thought to myself. But I'll just bide my time.

"Thanks for not giving me away at breakfast," Cindy told me later. "That was very sweet of you."

"I didn't do it for you," I insisted. "If I gave away the story mom would've taken the tapes away from me and I want to keep them."

"Hey I don't care either," Cindy shrugged as we walked to class. "You're welcome to all the stuff mom and dad give me. Maybe there will be lessons on being a better suck up in one of them!" She laughed derisively.

"Suck up? Me?" I exploded angrily as my face becoming to burn. "Dad rushed to your defense at breakfast this morning, so maybe you've been doing a little sucking up yourself? Playing the old "Daddy's Girl" routine again?"

Cindy laughed and brushed her hair back with a quick flick of her wrist. "A little kiss goes a long way with guys, especially when it comes from their daughter!"

"I bet them that you'll never be nearly as good as I am and kisses to dad won't make a difference," I scoffed unable to help but feel that she was somehow cheating. "I'm smarter, more motivated and with those tapes I'll pass you in a flash!"

"Don't care, I'm still way prettier than you!" She laughed as she threw back her head and fluffed her hair.

Weeks went by with Cindy and mom still occasionally arguing over breakfast. Cindy was a slacker, there was no doubt about that but her grades weren't that bad. They both knew that the argument had deeper meaning for mom, Cindy had never been the sweet little girl of mom's dreams, she despised baby dolls, and fought being dressed up in pretty outfits even as a child. Even if Cindy had made the Honor Roll mom would not have be satisfied unless Cindy accepted the award in a beautiful gown.

"Are you doing better in school Cindy?" Mom would ask in an innocent tone.

"School still sucks mom," Cindy would nonchalantly shoot back to mom's horror. "Sucked then, sucks now, and it will go on sucking forever!"

"I saw a really cute outfit at the mall yesterday honey," Mom would venture in a vain attempt to move the conversation around to what she really wanted to talk about. "Maybe I'll pick it up for you, it would make a nice school outfit."

"Got enough jeans and stuff mom thanks," Cindy would shoot her down in flames. "Besides I'm not going to school in one of those "Little Miss Muffet" outfits you like so much. Too frilly for me."

Suddenly a picture of a frilly dress with puffy sleeves and a full skirt popped into my head. "Such a pretty outfit," I found myself thinking. "Cindy's so lucky and she just doesn't realize it! I'd kill for a dress like that."

I nearly choked on my milk as I struggled to regain my thoughts. "What made me think something that crazy," I wondered. "Why would I want to wear a dress?"

"What's your problem?" Cindy asked. "Thinking of getting one of the cheerleader’s into an outfit like that? I'd bet you'd love that!"

"I wasn't thinking anything at all!" I insisted, afraid that somehow she knew about the words that wouldn't go away. "But now that you mention it, mom's right, you would look nice in a pretty outfit like that. It wouldn't hurt to look a little more like a girl you know! Think of how nice you'd make mom feel."

"If you're so concerned about mom's feelings why don't you take the job?" Cindy shot back maliciously.

"What job, what are you talking about," I asked, puzzled that I had somehow lost track of the conversation.

"Daughter of the family," Laughed Cindy as she waved her hand towards me. "There you go mom, your very own sweet little girl just waiting for you to dress her up in a pretty little dress with patent leather shoes, a little purse and gloves. You two could have a great time shopping for cute little party dresses."

"You're nuts!" I shouted ready to reach across the table at her. "You're a sicko too talking about stuff like that, it's just that..... oh forget it."

Cindy looked at me strangely for a second or two before rushing off to meet her friends. I suddenly had a terrible feeling in my stomach. How did I let myself get involved in a discussion about my sister's wardrobe? I must be losing my grip.

"Gotta roll," I blurted, grabbing my books and running out the door. I pushed myself to think of an upcoming trigonometry test to prevent those strange thoughts from returning.

"Here ya go Jim," Cindy announced as she tossed several new tapes onto my bed a few days later. "Mom's motivational series, part two." She laughed as she threw herself into a chair.

"I don't know if I want these after our argument," I said even as I pulled the tapes towards me. "You were awfully nasty to me that morning you know."

"You're breaking my heart Jim," Cindy sneered. "I seem to remember that you jumped on mom's side and took a cheap shot at me. Now you've got the nerve to sit here and pretend you're precious little feelings have been hurt? Bummer!"

"But honestly Cindy," My voice took on a tone of sadness, of being misunderstood. "I was really trying to help you, you could look so pretty if you got dressed up once in a while..."

Cindy dropped to her hands and knees and began scouring the room. "Come on out, I know you're here," She called out.

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you if you don't mind!" I shouted as Cindy continued her searching. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Looking for mom of course," She grinned. "I know she's hiding here somewhere, I can hear her. I can't figure out how she got your mouth to move as if it were really you talking, but I am impressed!"

"Get out of here you idiot!" I screamed as I finally lost my patience. "You're too stupid to realize how nice you could look and how happy you'd make mom."

Cindy turned and smiled. "The jobs still open and you can help yourself to any dress in my closet."

As she slammed the door behind her I threw myself on my bed and fought back the tears. Cindy was right; I had sided with mom against her but why? It wasn't even my usual cheap shot at her, I was really trying to help. Now though, Cindy thinks I should be some kind of sissy running around pretending to be a girl. If that's not bad enough there are those thoughts that I keep having.

The thoughts kept popping into my head at the most inopportune times; just this past week I had been in the middle of a History test on Victorian England and couldn't seem to force a picture of myself all done up in a pretty lace dress with a floppy hat and parasol from my mind.

Not long afterwards I began to let my hair grow even though my parents badgered me daily to get it cut. "I think I look good with long hair mom," I patiently explained. "Lots of guys wear their hair long and some even pull it back in sort of a ponytail. It looks really great and it's the latest style."

"The latest style for boys is to look like girls?" Dad asked with barely concealed scorn. "Sounds great, first you got an ear pierced and now you're letting your hair grow. Are you nuts or what?"

"Gotta keep up with things dad or I'll end up as a nerd."

"You already are a nerd," Laughed Cindy. "Now you're just a funnier looking nerd."

"Enough from both of you," Scolded mom. "Jim, If you're going to have long hair you better make sure it's kept neat and clean or I'll cut it off while you sleep. And Cindy, listen to those tapes, I don't plan on throwing money away."

"Don't worry mom, I'm making good use of them!" Cindy assured her after a quick glance my way. I knew that I wasn't about to call her a liar, I enjoyed the tapes far too much to cut off my supplier.

"And I'll keep my hair nice mom, I promise," I added feeling relieved that I could let my hair grow. Lately, having long hair had become very important to me but I just couldn't seem to focus on a reason.

Maybe, I thought to myself. I'm just trying to outdo Cindy again by showing her that I could look good in long hair when she insisted on keeping hers short. What I couldn't bring myself to admit though were the thoughts I was having of how pretty I would look with long curly hair.

The arguments between my sister and mother continued on as did the tapes which as far as I was concerned kept getting better and better. The last bunch promised motivational messages mixed in with songs from some of the hottest rock groups. I would spend hours playing the tapes over and over while studying or drifting off to sleep.

I kept waiting for my grades to take a giant leap forward; after all I played the tapes religiously, and mom had promised Cindy they'd make a big difference in her life if she only relaxed and let the messages work. I'd spent many an evening with just a small light on in my room, headphones clamped to my ears, relaxed, listening, absorbing, and waiting.

One reason I concentrated so hard on those tapes was because those goofy ideas kept coming back to me; you know the ones about wearing pretty dresses and having long curly hair. No matter how much I concentrated on those tapes though, the thoughts kept coming. One day I was reading a newspaper and suddenly find myself drawn to an advertisement for girl's clothes. I stared at that page for five minutes straight and when I was finally able to put it down I had an overwhelming urge to put on some of my sister's clothes.

No one else was home and I couldn’t take it anymore. I quickly raced upstairs and threw open the door to Cindy's closet. There, pushed to the back I saw what I wanted; a simple, pink mini dress that Cindy had worn once when dad took us out to celebrate a promotion at work. I grabbed the dress and quickly ran back to my room and locked the door.

I swiftly removed my shirt, undid my belt, unfastened my jeans and stepped out them. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking as I pulled Cindy's dress over my head then tugged it over my hips. Just as I finished adjusting it I was overcome with the most wonderful, peaceful, feeling I'd ever known. I stared at myself in the mirror, unable to move, unwilling to change. I was positive that I had found heaven.

I must have worn that dress for nearly half an hour. I practiced posing in different positions, walking, and sitting until just as suddenly as the urge hit me to put it on I felt that I had to take it off. I couldn't stop for a second until I had the dress safely back in Cindy's closet and had my pants back on. My heart was still beating wildly and my hands were sweaty and shaking. I couldn't believe that I had actually put on one of Cindy's dresses, but my unbuttoned shirt and loose belt were proof that something terrible had indeed happened. Or had it been that terrible? I just wasn't sure and it was driving me mad.

After that I found myself doing strange things that made me more and more certain that I was going nuts. One day I was taking a shower and reached to shut the water off only to pick up the razor Cindy used to shave her legs. I stared at the razor and then at my legs. Suddenly I was disgusted by the hair on my legs, lathering up with a bar of soap I sat down on the side of the tub and removed every strand of hair from my ankles to my butt! Whatever demon was possessing my mind wasn't satisfied though, without giving it a second thought I shaved my underarms too.

I ran my hands along my now smooth legs and admired the shapeliness I never before realized they had. They were smooth, silky, very pretty and I felt so very happy. I smoothed lotion over them to help keep my skin soft and silky then carefully patted myself dry with the fluffiest towel I could find before reluctantly pulling on my briefs and jeans. It wasn't until I was sitting on my bed putting on a pair of socks that I realized with horror what I had done.

"What's wrong with me?" I wondered as I absentmindedly counted the strokes of the brush through my hair.

For days afterwards, I was sure that everyone I met could somehow tell that I tried on my sister's dress and now had shaved my legs, even though I knew that there was no way for that to be possible. It happened in the privacy of my home. I took the dress off and put it away, and I wore nothing but long pants. There was nothing left to show and I was safe. Or was I? If only I could be sure.

Now I'd be stuck wearing long pants even though the weather was warming up and everyone else would be wearing shorts. I was stuck until the hair on my legs grew back, if it ever would. If that wasn't bad enough there was always the problem with my underarms, if I wore my favorite muscle shirts, I couldn't raise my arms lest my girlish underarms be seen.

Boy, I really screwed up this time, I thought as I began my hundred strokes on the other side of my head. Once I finished my daily brushing routing I gathered my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail.

Too bad I can't use one of Cindy's scrunchies to hold my ponytail, I thought to myself as I put a rubber band around it. These rubber bands are giving me split ends.

At school I tried to concentrate on what was going on in class but I kept getting distracted by the girls in my classes. I couldn't stop staring at some of them, especially if they wore a skirt or dress! I didn't care what Cindy said about not wearing dresses to school, these girls wore them and they looked great. Judging from the way they acted they really seemed to enjoy being dressed up, they walked differently, they sat differently, everything they did seemed so feminine that it drove me wild and to my amazement, jealous.

I had to be crazy! I'm supposed to be a normal teenage boy lusting after pretty girls, yet more and more I was envious of their pretty clothes, the way they wore their hair, and the way they moved. I wanted to be just like them, to have long, pretty hair, to wear pretty dresses and nylons, to tantalize with a slight scent of my perfume. It was insane, positively insane but I couldn't control the feelings building up in me, I wanted to be the daughter mom always wanted Cindy to be. I wanted to wear pretty dresses to school, to do my nails in pretty colors, I wanted to experience what seemed to be the delightfully wonderful world of a girl.

One day in school there was a pep rally and the cheerleaders were allowed to wear their uniform's to class. I was in Hell as I watched those pretty girls in their short skirts walking down the halls laughing and having the time of their lives. Why was I stuck in these awful pants and plain shirt when I should be wearing something colorful and pretty? I had to do something about it but until I got home I would have to endure the torture of seeing these girls so self confident in their femininity practically daring me to join them.

I couldn't begin to figure out why I felt the way I did, I never noticed those things before, but suddenly they seemed so important to me! I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind but as before they came right back, stronger each time. One day I walked into the house after school and was relaxing with a sandwich and cold glass of milk when I was overcome with a strange feeling.

No one was home but I'm not sure that would have made a difference, I had something to do and I'd simply die if I couldn't get it done! I went straight to Cindy's room and quickly pulled the pink dress from it's exile at the back of her closet. This time though I wasn't going to rush back to my room to try it on as I had many times in the past few weeks. This time I was going to do it right; the way a girl should. I opened every drawer in her dresser until I found exactly what I wanted; a pair of pretty satin panties that still had the tags on them, a bra, white pantyhose that Cindy had worn once, and a white half slip trimmed in lace. Carefully cradling my treasures, I hurried off to my room ,afraid that I might come to my senses and put everything back.

Just as I had done so many times in the last few weeks I locked my door and carefully checked to make certain that it couldn't be opened. I considered pulling my drapes shut but there weren't any other houses close enough for anyone to be able to see in my windows and the possibility that someone might, made what I was about to do all the more exciting!

I quickly removed every stitch of boy's clothing I had on then with trembling hands I pulled the satin panties up to my waist. I had tried on Cindy's panties before but they had all been cotton, softer than any of my briefs but nothing special, just plain white cotton without even a pretty little flower to brighten them up. Of course it felt very exciting to wear girl's panties but the feeling was nothing compared to what was happening to me now; the satin was so soft, silky, and cool against my skin that I had an instant erection! What a contrast, pretty satin panties being pushed out of shape by something that they were never meant to hold. I thought of an assignment I had recently done for English class on contrasting things. Too bad I could never write about the contrast of the utterly feminine panties and an utterly masculine erection.

It took a bit of work to get the bra on, this was to be my first time, guess I was saving it for a special moment, but finally I had it hooked in back and stuffed with some socks until I had close to what I figured Cindy's bust size was. The pantyhose were tough, I'd seen commercials and movies where a woman would start pulling on a pair but once again it was my first time and I was scared to death of putting a run into them. I'd never explain something like that away. I carefully inserted my right foot then slowly pulled them as far up as I could before putting my left foot in. When I finally had them worked up as far as my thighs I hesitated for just a second feeling that I was on the verge of taking a very important step. A deep breath and I slowly worked them all the way over my thighs and unrolled the waistband, my heart pounding in my ears, goose bumps popping up on every piece of flesh.

What was wrong with Cindy? I wondered. I'm only partially dressed and I can't believe how wonderful these clothes feel. How could she prefer cotton panties to these dreamy satin ones I wore, why would she ever wear socks when she could wear these stockings which were making my legs look so pretty and sexy?

The slip made me look much better hiding the unsightly bulge in my panties. The pantyhose helped keep it in check but now with the slip on I looked more like a girl with my pretty, nylon covered legs extending beyond the lace hem of the slip. Even though I was still excited I was becoming much calmer, more sure than ever that I should dress this way. I lowered the dress over my head with all the confidence and self assurance any girl my age would have. Every part of my brain was now telling me that this was natural, I was a young woman and this is how I was expected to dress.

Completely dressed I was shocked to see Cindy's reflection in the mirror, I nearly panicked until I realized that Cindy wasn't in the room, I was alone, and the girl in the mirror was me.

Sure there were a few rough edges, Cindy had a few more curves than I did but I was sure that with a little padding here and there I could easily look every bit as pretty as Cindy did on those rare occasions when she did get dressed up. I'd love to have her see me now and tell me that although I'm smarter she's prettier. I'd show her who the prettier sister was in this family!

My time in Heaven ended all too quickly, I had to hurry to undress and put things away before anyone came home. I was sure of one thing as I put the clothes away though; something had gone terribly wrong, a horrible mistake had been made at my conception. I was supposed to be a pretty girl, not an average looking boy. From now on I vowed, I'd work harder until I could do everything a girl did and do it the way a girl did. When I was finished my family would realize that although Cindy was just an overgrown Tomboy I was a young lady. Once they realized that, they'd treat me like the young woman I was meant to be.

Suddenly, I found myself utterly disgusted by what I had done. I put away Cindy's clothes as fast as possible then quickly donned by own.

and returned to my snack, finding it difficult to eat with the tremor in my hands. What had happened to me? I had seemingly lost all control over my actions but I was too ashamed to talk to anyone about it.

Things kept happening more and more after that, I had an unquenchable desire to dress in Cindy's clothes, to shave my legs and underarms, and keep my hair long and pretty and I wasn't feeling nearly as guilty about it anymore. Keeping my legs and underarms smooth and silky became a part of my daily shower ritual. Brushing my long hair wasn't a job, it was fun. I even graduated from wearing Cindy's clothes alone at home to wearing panties to school. It was so scary yet exciting; I'd be dressing after a shower and boom the urge would hit me! I'd wait until Cindy was downstairs then sneak over to her room and borrow a pair of panties. In school I had to be extra careful in the way I moved, sat, or stood to prevent anyone from seeing the waistband of my panties peeking over my pants. I was trapped, terrified that I'd be caught but thrilled to be getting away with it.

Every afternoon when school ended I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't been discovered and vowed that I'd never do it again, but the next morning would find me once again pulling on a pair of panties.

The feelings had grown so intense that I started to dress more and more often and wanted to wear different things other than Cindy's pink dress. I tried on her jeans, her shorts, and her nightgowns, if it was in her closet or her drawers I at least tried it on, sometimes as I did with her panties, wearing them with my boy's clothes. It was nearly impossible for example, to distinguish her white socks from mine but it made me feel like I was fooling people when I wore them instead of my own.

I’ll never forget the first time I wore them instead of my own, I was sure that mom, dad, Cindy, and the entire world could somehow tell that I was wearing a pair of girl's socks but no one said a thing or even looked at my feet.

After going through Cindy's boring wardrobe I somehow came up with the idea of checking out my mother's clothes. She and Cindy were about the same size and whenever she went somewhere special she wore some of the most gorgeous outfits. I figured if she hounded Cindy so much about wearing more feminine clothes, mom might just have some really pretty things stashed away in her drawers and I couldn't wait to try them on.

I held out for over two more weeks before I finally had to give in to the urges. Mom and dad were going to be spending a Saturday visiting some out of town relatives and Cindy would also be gone until late evening. The instant I had the house to myself I locked all of the doors then ran to mom's room undressing as I went. When I reached her closet I had a strange feeling of excitement seeing the dresses, skirts, and suits of every color and style which called out to me to try them on.

The first outfit I picked to try on was a dark blue dress with sheer sleeves that mom wore when she and dad went out for their anniversary dinner. The material was very sheer but there was something like a built in slip under it to keep it from being totally see through. I couldn't wait to try it on but I wanted to check out mom's lingerie first in the hope I'd find something pretty to wear under the dress.

When I opened her dresser drawer I couldn't believe my luck, instead of white cotton I was staring at satin, nylon, and silk in so many different shades it was as if I was staring at a rainbow.

Almost every pair of mom's panties were lace trimmed, some were made of nothing but a stretch kind of lace, while others were so sheer and sexy I found myself blushing! For a moment or two I was shocked to think that my own mother wore these kinds of clothes then my heart began to pound as I realized that soon I too would be wearing such feminine and sexy items. I picked out several different matching panty, bra, and slip sets to try on but the one I couldn't wait to wear was red with beautiful, shimmery, black lace at the waistband of the panties. Lace at the bottom and side slit of the full slip, and if that wasn't enough to drive me crazy the top part of the bra's cups were nothing but lace!

I couldn't get out of my regular clothes fast enough, I was all set to tear my shirt when my fumbling fingers finally undid the last button. I pulled down my briefs but instead of placing them on a neat pile with the rest of my things I gleefully kicked them across the room, I wanted to have nothing more to do with such ugly, confining clothes, I was a young woman exploring my femininity and boy's briefs had no place in that world.

If I still had any insignificant doubts about what I was doing they were erased forever when I slid the dress over my head, over my bra, panties and a pair of sheer black pantyhose. I wanted to run out into the street and shout "I love being a girl" but I hadn't yet gotten the hang of the black heels I had also borrowed from mom's closet.

I found a string of mom's pearls and after a few seconds work I managed to get them around my neck and fasten the clasp. I slipped a delicate gold bracelet on my wrist, fastened a dainty chain around my ankle, then set off on wobbly ankles for mom's vanity and makeup across the room.

I reached the vanity without breaking an ankle then smoothed out my skirt as I'd watched girls at school do before sitting down. My reflection in the vanity mirror was pretty good, I looked a lot like Cindy might look in this dress without makeup on, but that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to be the pretty sister and in front of me were the tools I would need to complete my journey from plain to pretty. I just hoped I could master them without anyone discovering what I was doing, I wanted to surprise mom with a daughter who was pretty and feminine, a poised and confident young woman.

I spent the rest of the morning and the entire afternoon in mom's room experimenting with makeup, clothes, and hair all the while worried about the feeling that I was supposed to have been a girl. Fighting the feelings wasn't possible any more; I was caught in a web of satin and lace with no way out. I began to think of how happy I would be to let mom buy me skirts and dresses to wear to school. Cindy might rebel at the thought of wearing a pretty dress now and then but I wouldn't. I would learn the proper way to dress, do my hair, wear makeup, and behave as a proper young woman and mom would be so proud of me!

I had so much to learn but I wasn't finding a whole lot of time to study. Mom and dad were staying home more on the weekends and with finals coming up Cindy was actually coming straight home from school to study. Luckily I was able to sneak some of mom and Cindy's things into my room where I hid them in the back of my closet. In the afternoons I'd go to my room to study but it wasn't school work I was studying. Instead, I was hard at work trying to master makeup and hairstyling.

One Saturday afternoon after finishing showering and shaving my legs and underarms I was sitting on my bed combing out my hair as Cindy walked past my room.

"Your hair's getting pretty long," She laughed as she watched me carefully pull a comb though his hair. "Almost ready for some pretty ribbons and bows."

Cindy's comments brought the old feelings crashing back on me, I shouldn't want long hair and I certainly shouldn't have been wearing the panties I had on. I wanted to cut my hair off right then and there, to change into a pair of boy's briefs and burn the panties. I wanted to, but then I thought of how pretty my hair would look tied back in a ponytail held in place by a cute ribbon. How smooth and soft the panties were and how rough and heavy my briefs were and it wasn't a contest. I couldn't do anything about what was happening to me and I knew it. Lost in thought I dropped the brush I had in my hand and bent over to retrieve it.

"Those are my panties!" Cindy exclaimed as she spotted the waistband of her satin panties. "What are you doing wearing my underwear you little pervert?"

"I can explain Cindy, just gimme a chance," I begged.

What are you trying to pull?" Cindy asked suspiciously. "What are you doing with these things?"

I spent a long time trying to explain things to Cindy who seemed to have a hard time understanding what made perfect sense to me, at least at that time.

Cindy stared at me as if I came from another dimension. "I don't understand but I think you'd better tell mom. Dad's gonna freak, that's for sure."

"I guess he will," I said sadly. "I can't help it though, I should have been a girl, just like you. I really like getting all dressed up and wearing frilly stuff, and I want to be the kind of girl mom wants you to be; all satin and lace and stuff!"

"So what do you need from me?" Cindy asked cautiously. "I can't do anything about dad, I'm sure mom will be proud of you, surprised as all heck but proud."

"I"m having a lot of trouble learning to apply makeup and fix my hair," I told her. "I was hoping you could help."

"But you're a boy!" Cindy exclaimed, exasperated. "Boys don't wear dresses, they don't wear makeup, and they don't run around in their sister's underwear. Look, you and I weren't exactly close friends but I just don't think I can handle helping my brother become a girl."

"Please Cindy, I'll be a great sister I promise," I begged.

"If you're that serious about being a girl, why not ask mom to help? She knows more about makeup and hair styling than I do." Cindy suggested. "You're going to have to tell her anyhow you know, why not do it now and let her help?"

"You don't understand Cindy," I pouted. "I want to surprise mom. I don't want to say anything to her until I can do everything any other girl can do, until I'm as much of a girl as I can be."

"But what if someone finds out about you? What about the other kids at school?" Cindy challenged, obviously trying to weasel out of helping me.

"I guess they're bound to find out," I shrugged. "But that's not going to make any difference at all. I'm going to be a girl whether they like it or not."

It took a lot of convincing before Cindy agreed to help but it's not everyday that a girl's brother asks her to teach him how to be a girl. She didn't wear makeup so she couldn't teach me much herself but she did promise to pick me up a few magazines and she even agreed to buy me my own makeup. She was never this nice to me as her brother, it was obvious that being her sister was going to be much nicer.

Mom wasn't letting up on Cindy, the constant battle over Cindy's dressing continued but Cindy didn't complain as much anymore. She simply take the clothes, jewelry, and makeup mom would buy her and put them in her room for me to use. It was a good system, I got the latest styles, makeup that was perfect for me, and since mom occasionally checked and found that the stuff was being used, she eased up on Cindy. Mom was happy, Cindy was happy, and I was ecstatic!

After a few weeks had passed Cindy seemed to forget her reservations about turning me into a girl and became very helpful in my drive to replace my boy's clothes with girl's clothes. The first thing to go were my briefs of course, replaced by the prettiest, silkiest panties Cindy could find for me. I replaced my white sweat socks with girl's socks, bought several girl's tee shirts like Cindy wore, and even found a pair of girl's sneakers that were plain enough to pass as boy's sneakers.

It was so wonderful for me to go off to school wearing panties, a girl's tee shirt, girl's socks and sneakers; the idea that I was somehow trapped, that I couldn't possibly change into boy's clothes was both scary and exciting! No one ever batted an eye though, I was just another long haired guy as far as my friends and family were concerned.

One day, after school had ended for the year, mom started picking on Cindy wondering why she'd spend so much money on makeup and pretty clothes then never wear them out of the house.

"Don't worry about it mom," Cindy replied trying to avoid ruining my surprise. "Maybe someday when you quit bugging me about it I'll get dressed up and let you take me shopping. Until then don't bug me."

That was the wrong thing to say to mom and Cindy quickly found herself on the receiving end of a tongue lashing that would have gone down in the history books as the greatest of all time. She was being grounded for a month, her phone privileges were being taken away, and there was more to come until I spoke up.

"Please don't yell at her mom," I pleaded. "She's only trying to help me surprise you."

Mom stopped suddenly, her momentum in the argument lost. "You're not involved in this Jimmy, please mind your own business."

"That's just it mom, I really am involved and I'll prove it!" I told her as I left the table. I went to my room and from a box I had hidden in my closet, removed pictures that Cindy had taken of me modeling different outfits. Returning to the kitchen, I laid them in front of mom and proudly announced, "This is my surprise, the daughter you always wanted Cindy to be!"

Mom studied the pictures for a few seconds then smiled broadly. "I'm sorry Cindy, you look lovely in these. Were you planning on surprising me?"

"Not exactly mom," Cindy hesitated for a long time then glanced towards me. "That's not me in those pictures."

"Of course it's you?" Mom seemed puzzled, glancing at the pictures then at Cindy. Finally she took note of Cindy staring at me. "If it isn't you then who is it?" She asked looking straight at me.

"It's me!" I replied filled with pride. "I hope I look good enough to make you proud of me."

"T..t..this is you?" Mom gasped as dad pulled the pictures from her hand. "What in God's name are you up to?"

"Oh my Lord," Dad uttered softly. "Tell me this is some sick joke you're pulling Cindy."

"I thought so too at first dad but Jimmy convinced me that it wasn't," Cindy explained , "Believe it or not, that's Jimmy in those pictures."

Mom looked at me dumbfounded, "Jimmy?" She asked, her voice strained. "You'd better have an awfully good explanation for this."

"How can he possibly explain these?" Dad thundered as he threw the pictures in front of me. "This is sick!"

"I don't understand," I said sadly. "It just seemed to happen all of a sudden, I don't know why."

"Will everyone please calm down," Mom interjected stepping between me and dad. She laid the pictures in front of me. "Now young man would you please explain why you're wearing girl's clothes in these photos?"

I thought for several seconds on just how to answer mom's question before deciding not to drag things out.

"I want to be a girl, that's why."

"You what?" Dad asked, seemingly stunned at my announcement.

"Are you serious?" Mom gasped. "You can't be serious!"

"A girl, you want to be a girl?" Dad was obviously shocked, his face had lost all color and his eyes were bulging. "When did this happen? You've never mentioned anything like this before."

"I can't remember wanting anything more than I want to be a girl," I explained as best I could. "Maybe I didn't realize it before but now I'm absolutely certain that I want to be a girl."

"But why?" Mom asked trying to remain calm even though she appeared to be on the verge of crying. "What made you decide you want to be a girl?"

"I don't really know how it happened mom, I tried to ignore it and be like any other boy but I couldn't help feeling that something was wrong. I started trying on Cindy's stuff and then I knew for sure, I should have been a girl."

By now I was on the verge of tears. "Please daddy don't be mad at me, I can't help how I feel."

Dad stared at me but the look of disgust was beginning to fade. "When did you start thinking that you should have been a girl? What could suddenly make a normal boy decide that he'd rather be a girl?"

"I'm not sure," I said as I wiped a tear off my cheek. "The idea of dressing up seemed to come a couple of months ago and it just got worse and worse. I tried not to give in but the feelings were just too much for me, one day I was taking a shower and wanted to shave my legs and underarms, before I knew what was happening I was wearing Cindy's dresses then mom's underwear."

"Wait a second," Cindy announced, an odd look in her eye. "Mom, when did you start getting those tapes for me?"

"I don't know," Mom replied offhandedly. "Three, maybe four months ago why?"

"And they were just supposed to motivate me more in school right, nothing else?"

Mom hesitated before answering. "Not exactly, school was just a minor part of it, actually they were supposed to make a young lady out of you but I guess they were a waste of money."

Cindy started to laugh and soon had tears rolling down her cheeks. "No, actually they would have been worth every penny you paid for them, if I listened to them!"

"I'm confused," Dad said. "Those tapes were supposed to make you act like a young lady but you never listened to them, what's the joke?

"I wanted to throw them away," Cindy laughed as she dried her eyes. "But Jimmy stopped me, he's been listening to them all along. You got the sweet young lady you wanted mom, it's just that she's your son!"

"Oh my God," Dad gasped in shock. "This can't be true!"

"I did listen to them." I agreed. "But they didn't seem to help my grades at all."

"There has to be some way to reverse this," Mom sobbed. "I never meant to turn him into a girl, it was all meant for Cindy!"

"I know dear," Dad consoled her with a hug. "I went along with it to make you happy. Don't worry, we'll find some way to fix it."

"What if you can't?" Cindy asked. "What then?"

Knowing what had happened seemed to strengthen the little resolve to stop that I had left. "Please, there has to be a way." I sobbed. "I was never meant to be like this, there has to be some way to change me back again!"

"But you said you wanted to be a girl, I wish you'd make up your mind!"

Cindy sighed. "First you want to be a girl, then you don't, I'm confused."

"So was I," I cried. "Those tapes did this to me! I never ever wanted to be a girl, it's not my fault!"

"Calm down, quit crying," Dad told me. "This whole thing is crazy but there must be a way out. Just be patient and for God's sake don't let anyone see you dressed up."

Mom and dad contacted the company that made the tapes but they had never faced a problem like this either. It turns out that the tapes were a new addition to their line of products which were used to help turn men into women. They were so successful with a line of tapes that helped mothers turn their sons into sweet young ladies that they branched out into tapes to help women due the same to their Tomboy daughters. I was unlucky enough to have used a series of tapes meant for a girl.

After numerous visits to Psychiatrists and weeks of testing mom, dad, and I were called in to a counselors office and given the results. After much research with the company that made the tapes it was found that the tapes had an ingenious feature built into them which while planting and reinforcing the suggestion of increasing femininity built a defense against removing the suggestions. The counselor explained that by listening to the entire set of tapes I had unknowingly allowed this defense to complete it's work and there was absolutely no way to overcome it. That explained the gradual loss of resistance that I had noticed, little by little the feature had broken my resistance and changed my thought process. Having completed the change it welded shut the door to the area that it had changed to prevent any reversal.

It was all very precise and scientifically done, I would never again be able to go back to being a normal boy. For the rest of my life I would feel out of place as a male, my actions would become increasingly feminine and I would find myself drawn to feminine clothing and lifestyle. If I expressed my feelings I would be a social outcast, if I tried to suppress them there was no telling the extent of mental problems I would experience.

I heard the counselor pronounce my death sentence. "The only thing that I could possibly recommend at this point is that your son undergo treatment for gender reassignment." He told my weeping parents. "It would actually require very little adjustment on his part and would avoid a lifetime of torment and mental anguish."

"Very little adjustment?" I screamed. "How can you say that, I'd be a girl right?"

"That's right, but mentally that would not pose any problem for you, actually you'd find it very pleasurable. Remember I told you that mentally you'll be developing into one regardless of what you do."

"What would happen to me if I went through with this reassignment thing?" Even though I was becoming more and more interested in the idea by the second I tried to seem turned off or at least neutral to it.

The counselor saw right through my act, smiling at me and my parents he continued.

"You would immediately be started on a program of female hormones which of course will cause you to develop female secondary sex characteristics; smooth skin, fatty deposits on your hips and buttocks, breasts..."

"Breasts!" I blurted involuntarily. "I'd have breasts?"

"You'd have all the secondary physical characteristics of a girl your age in about four to five months," The counselor said smiling. "You'd look perfectly normal in a dress or any other feminine outfit you might choose to wear. Frankly with your size and current level of development you'll become a very lovely young woman."

"But what about..." I asked shyly glancing towards my crotch.

"I recommend that as soon as possible you undergo complete reassignment surgery as soon as possible," I was told. "You'll feel much better about yourself when you're completely female."

I couldn't believe that we were all sitting around calmly discussing my changing from a boy to a girl as if we were talking about the weather. It just didn't seem right to me, what about all the years I'd spent as a boy, how could we just pretend they never happened?

"I'm scared mom," I said softly. "It's like planning my own funeral and I'm way too young to die."

"Let me assure all of you that it's nothing like that at all," The counselor advised us. "Jimmy, you'll still have your family, and in today's society you'll still be able to do anything as a female that you ever wanted to do as a male. You'll live the rest of your life as a female but you'll have a life to live."

Apparently my parents had heard enough to convince them. "When should he begin the change?" Dad asked after taking mom's hand in his.

"Wait a minute, don't I get a vote in this?" I asked, surprised that they had made such a decision.

"Think about it for a few seconds," I was told by the counselor. "Do you really have any objections to becoming a girl Jimmy?"

It was more time that I really needed. "No," I sighed. "Not really. I think it would be so wonderful to be a girl."

"That's what I expected given the amount of time the program has had to influence you." The counselor said with a smile. "There are a few details which I was asked not to divulge before you made your decision, the company which made the tapes did not want to try to influence you in any way. The tapes were designed with the intent of making Tomboys into young ladies, they were never meant for use on boys. Your predicament however provided them with an entirely new market, changing young males into females. You provided all of the testing they needed to successfully market a line of tapes for that purpose and they want to express their appreciation."

"They're happy about this?" Mom was puzzled. "What if we sued them?"

"That would expose your son here to a lot of needless publicity and embarrassment. They're very willing to make Jimmy's life very pleasant in return for his unexpected help in making the company unimaginably successful."

When the plans were all laid out mom and dad were impressed and I was amazed. I was going to be a young woman there was no doubt about that but I would be a very well dressed and well educated one thanks to monthly royalty checks.

"Wow, they've thought of everything haven't they," I whistled in amazement.

"Not quite everything," Laughed the counselor. "If they had you wouldn't be here today."

We left the office with a large packet of information detailing the changes that would occur and the promises the company was making. Maybe a normal boy would've been scared out of his mind over the idea of permanently becoming a girl, but by now I was not a normal boy by any stretch and I couldn't wait to get home and out of my boy's clothes.

Cindy was waiting for us when we got home. "Well, what's up with Jimmy?"

She asked, barely able to control herself.

"Jamie," Mom corrected her with a grin. "She's Jamie Lynn from now on!"

"Are you serious?" She squealed in delight. "He's going to become a girl?"

"We'll talk about it later Cindy," Mom told her as she took my hand. "One tomboy for a daughter is enough, Jamie is going to learn to dress right. At least she'll know how to look and act like a young lady should."

"Oh wow!" Cindy exclaimed, following us to my room. "My brother is going to become a prissy young lady, this I've got to see!"

I took off my shirt and pants to change into a pair of Cindy's jeans and one of her tops. As I was fastening one of the bras I had bought for myself it suddenly occurred to me exactly what had happened. I had spent months dreaming about how great it would be to wear girl's clothes but now it was so very real. I wasn't just going to dress up in some of Cindy's things for an hour or so then change back, I was going to spend the rest of my life wearing bras because soon I'd need them to support the breasts that I would develop.

Every morning from now on I would slip the straps of a bra over my arms, I'd shave my legs and underarms every time I showered and when I finished my shower I would pull on a pair of panties. Mom was busily gathering all of my boy's clothes from my drawers and closets, I wouldn't be wearing them again, ever.

I tied my hair into a ponytail and spent the rest of the afternoon listening to mom and dad explain what was going to happen to me. I was going to be a girl from now on I was told, but for a few weeks I was to wear jeans or shorts until mom and dad got used to seeing me as a girl. Then I could wear dresses or skirts if I wanted to.

"There are a lot of things you'll have to think of from now on Jamie," Mom poured some juice into my glass and set two small pink pills in front of me. "This is going to be an everyday thing for you now."

I picked up the pills and looked at them strangely. They had no obvious markings yet somehow I instinctively knew what I held in my hand.

"Are these what I think they are?"

"Estrogen along with a testosterone suppressant." Was dad's contribution to the morning's conversation. "One will stop any further development as a male and the other will make a female out of you. In about a month or so you and Cindy will be closer than ever before."

The weeks dragged by so slowly I was beginning to wonder if mom and dad would ever let me dress up in something pretty. I spent my time helping with housework, practicing feminine mannerisms, and signing all kinds of forms which I never got a chance to really read, and of course listening to a few more tapes to reinforce my new lifestyle.

Once in a while I got a chance to run a few errands with mom. I was terrified at first but whenever people mistook me for Cindy mom quickly corrected them and introduced me as Jamie. To those who knew about Jimmy mom simply said that I had been suffering from a recently discovered hormonal problem which made me seem like a boy although I was really a girl. Mom explained that it was thought that the best thing to do was to let me finish high school as Jimmy before setting things straight. People, especially women, ate it up. Instead of being considered some sort of pervert I was first pitied then admired for having the courage to become the girl I was meant to be. The story line was very helpful to dad since now people felt sorry that he had lost the son every man wants through no fault of his own while Cindy was considered the perfect sister introducing me to life as a girl. A totally win - win situation!

Since Cindy didn't have enough jeans and tops for both of us mom took me out on our first mother daughter shopping trip to pick out a few things I'd need. I borrowed a cute little clutch purse that Cindy didn't use, packed a couple of tubes of lipstick, tissues, perfume that I'd bought because I loved the way I felt about myself when I wore it, and a compact and blush for touch up work. I held the clutch purse tightly, smiled and waved to Cindy and dad as if there was nothing in the least bit unusual about what I was about to do, then started for the door with mom.

Mom must have sensed my true feelings or maybe she just heard my knees knocking but she was right there beside me whispering encouragement and helping me through the door. "You're doing just fine Jamie, you look lovely," She told me. "Just relax and let your inner feelings take over."

Of course mom was right, once I took a deep breath and relaxed all of the feelings which the tapes had created in me took over. I was going shopping with my mom to buy some pretty outfits, just like any other girl my age and I couldn't wait to get to the mall.

I found the dreamiest blue dress with an empire waist and embroidered trim around the neck and arms within minutes of entering the first store. I stared at the dress trying very hard to picture what I'd look like in it.

"Don't just stand there, take it and try it on if you like," Mom's voice broke into my concentration. "Take a couple of outfits with you though, it's such a bother to get dressed and come out for more."

"I can do that now, can't I?" I was overjoyed at the thought of being able to go into a girl's dressing room to try on clothes. This was so much better than trying to get Cindy to model for me.

"You certainly can Jamie," Mom smiled. "You have as much right in there as any other girl."

Mom's words of encouragement pushed me to new heights of shopping pleasure, I may not have been a girl for long but I was determined to make up for lost time. Within minutes I was heading for the dressing room with an armload of skirts and dresses with one or two pairs of slacks thrown in for variety.

I was heavenly to strip off my jeans and top then slip that gorgeous blue dress over my head. It fit very well against my padded bra and ended just an inch or two above my knees, nothing flashy just a very tasteful and pretty dress that would look good anywhere. I smoothed it out as the tapes had taught me to do, then hips swinging, stepped out to show off to mom.

"That looks prefect on you Jamie," Mom beamed in pride. "With the right accessories it'll be just right for some special event this summer!"

"I was thinking about white sandals with a medium heel, possibly nude stockings, Opal earrings, and a gold chain, what do you think?" I asked as I admired myself in a mirror. "Too much?"

"Not at all," Mom assured me. "I think you have wonderful taste."

"I can't wait to show you some of the other outfits mom, I feel just like a princess!" I was bubbling over with joy as I hurried back to the dressing room.

I modeled six dresses, five skirts, three tops, and four pairs of slacks before I was through and if I must say so myself I looked great in each outfit. One skirt was a gray, black and red check with wide pleats that was a little shorter than any of the other outfits, but I felt it gave me a sexy look without being slutty, so of course I just had to have it. Mom said that with my legs it would certainly catch a boy's eye which made buying the skirt a necessity. I hadn't mentioned it before, not even to Cindy but I desperately wanted to have guys look at me and to want me! In school I used to daydream about some of the cute football players and what it would be like to be their girlfriend and be held and kissed by them.

After choosing several outfits including a couple of pairs of silk slacks, sundresses and shorts mom and I made our way to the shoe department where I picked out several pairs of summer sandals, six pairs of medium height pumps to go with the different outfits I bought, and a pair of white sneakers with pink trim. The sneakers weren't the prettiest shoes I would have but I thought the pink trim would go far in offsetting their dull white look.

Mom and I made a sales girl's day at the makeup counter when we purchased a deluxe makeup kit for my dresser at home, and enough foundation, powder, blush, shadow, and lipstick to that I could do makeovers on every girl in my senior class. Mom thought I was going just a bit overboard on the makeup but I assured her I'd need it to match the many different outfits we'd bought for me.

Mom had saved the best for last, our final stop being the lingerie department.

"Mom, I'm so happy I could cry," I whispered as we approached the racks of silk, lace, and satin in pretty pastel shades.

I selected about two dozen pairs of panties in pink, blue, lilac, and yellow. I wanted some of the sexy little bikini styles but mom said that for now the full cut style would be a much more practical choice. Later, when certain physical adjustments had been completed, the naughty little bikini styles would fit me much better.

I spared no effort to examine every style of panties and bras the store had, I'd walked past these departments so many times in the past dreaming of being able to take my time and shop for just the right lingerie I wasn't going to be rushed now that the time had finally come.

I found myself blushing as I held up a pair of very sexy panties, I wanted to buy them but I still wasn't sure I felt comfortable enough as a girl to be able to wear them.

"I think you may be rushing things just a bit Jamie, they're just a little too much for a girl your age." Advised mom. "Maybe in a few years when you've found the right man and settled down, they'd be a perfect treat for a romantic evening."

"Do you really think that could ever happen mom? Could I ever really fall in love with a guy?"

Mom smiled at me. "Since you started listening to those tapes, have you noticed any different feelings towards boys?"

I could feel the heat burning up my face and knew I must be as red as an apple.

"I was so upset at first," I told her. "Suddenly I was noticing how cute some of the boys were and wondering what it would be like to be their girlfriend. I didn't know what to do until I found out about the tapes, I was so relieved."

"And now?" Mom goaded playfully. "What do you think about those boys now?"

"Some of them are stuck up jerks," I admitted sadly. "But others!"

"Others?" Laughed mom. "Do tell?"

"Others," I mused. "I want to make them forget that there are any other girls in this world. I want so badly to have them hold me tight, kiss me, and make me forget that there ever was a Jimmy!"

"I think some boy is going to be very lucky!" Mom hugged me and smiled. "I'm sure you'll be the woman he always dreamed about!"

We shopped a little more while I selected a bit more conservative lingerie than I had first looked at then headed home where I spent hours modeling my treasures for mom and Cindy, it made me feel very sad but dad still wasn't ready to see me in anything more feminine than slacks and tops.

I took my new pills every day and it wasn't long before I started to notice small changes to my body and mind. My butt was beginning to fill out as were my hips and my chest was becoming so sensitive that I would occasionally get a cheap thrill from my padded bra rubbing across my nipples. I hadn't needed to shave yet before I started listening to the tapes and now the combination of blocking male hormones while increasing female ones had teamed up to make it unnecessary ever again.

The changes to my mind started of course with the desire to wear pretty clothes and act like a young lady but took an interesting turn once the hormones had kicked in. Now I was feeling much more emotional, things that had never entered my mind before were now important to me. I started to notice things like the flower bed in a neighbors yard, the way items were displayed in stores, and of course boys!

I had told mom when we went shopping that I had started looking at guys differently some time ago but now guys weren't just different, they were cute, well built, dreamy, and in some cases very desirable. To a guy it may seem silly that a girl would take a little extra time in the mall restroom making herself look good but when I was anywhere that guys could be found I made extra certain that my hair looked pretty, my outfit was perfect, my makeup just right, and that there was a happy look on my face. I knew from personal experience that nothing, but nothing, caught a guy's attention the way a smile would, so whenever I saw a cute guy approaching I always tried to smile. I didn't care if I had just broken every nail on both hands, I was going to smile.

A few weeks after our shopping trip mom came into my room one Saturday for a little talk. She solemnly announced that she felt that dad was taking far too long to adjust to his new daughter and that we were going to do something about it.

"I managed to talk him into taking us to a really nice restaurant and then a show tonight," She announced. "This is going to be the night when your father realizes that you are a beautiful young woman and he's just going to have to accept it! I've already booked you with my hairdresser for a complete makeover."

"Are you sure this is the right way to do this mom?" I was barely able to conceal my excitement. Finally I was going to show daddy the girl I wanted to be and had become.

"It's the only way left now honey," Mom assured me as I climbed out of bed tugging my baby doll nightie down over my panties. "We tried giving him time but he's having trouble accepting you as a girl. You're never going to be anything but our daughter so we might just as well push him into accepting you that way."

As I showered and dressed mom explained that I'd spend most of the day at the beauty parlor she used where I'd be given the works, a new hairstyle, pedicure, manicure, and makeover. Once I was beautiful we'd come home and change into pretty outfits then dad would have three lovely ladies as his dates for the evening.

How could I want more? I was going to get a complete makeover before going out with my family as a pretty girl. My heart was pounding throughout breakfast and all the way to the shop.

Mom's friend Nancy owned the shop and had been nice enough to schedule plenty of time to do the transformation. She showed me to a small restroom where I removed my slipped a cotton gown over my clothes to keep them from getting damaged by the chemicals. She talked to mom for a few moments while another lady was washing my hair and when I looked up mom was gone.

"Don't worry honey," Mary Ann the shampoo girl told me. "You're going to be tied up for a little while so your mom's going to do some more shopping. This way she can be surprised at how pretty you look when she returns."

I thought about the idea for a bit and managed to overcome my fears of being left alone in this feminine fortress, after all I wanted to look pretty and now I would have expert help!

Once my hair was shampooed I was led to a styling chair where Nancy began combing and snipping while another woman began work on my fingernails and toenails. Talk about having your dreams come true I was sitting in a beauty shop being made beautiful. What more could a girl want to make her feel special?

The manicure and pedicure kept me occupied while Nancy was busy with her snipping, combing, and rolling my hair onto large pink curlers. Once my nails were done another lady began work on my eyebrows with some type of needle.

"This will keep them from growing back once I get them shaped just right" She told me as she stung my brows with the needle. "You can't look your best with unruly, bushy eyebrows."

When my nails and eyebrows were finished all that remained was my hair and makeup which Nancy wanted to do herself. The other women made me promise to stop back on the way to dinner so they could see the results of their handiwork. Of course I agreed.

"I guess all this was quite a shock at first?" Nancy asked once we were alone.

"Sort of," I shrugged. "I didn't know mom planned on bringing me here but I'm really glad she did."

"I meant it must have been a shock to realize that you suddenly wanted to be a girl," Nancy laughed ignoring my comment. "I guess getting into a girl's pants took on a whole new meaning to you?"

"It was a hormone problem," I stuttered, lamely trying to stick to the story mom had made up. "My family just thought..."

"Your mom just thought Cindy could use a little help in becoming a young lady but things got a little mixed up and here you are."

"I don't know what you mean!" I protested, trying to act outraged. "I had a ..."

"Just relax Jamie," Nancy said as she patted my hand. "Your mom told me all about those tapes that were meant for Cindy and how you ended up listening to them. Your secret's safe with me, after all I'd lose a lot of clients if I had a big mouth."

I felt relieved to be able to confide in her. "You're right," I laughed as I thought back to the confusion I had felt. "It started out with trying on Cindy's panties, then one day I found myself in a slip, bra, and stockings and thinking about how great it felt to wear those things. From then on it was all downhill, I wore panties everyday and tried on every outfit Cindy and mom own."

"You really had no idea what was happening did you? You must have felt awful"

"At first I did feel pretty bad, but the more I dressed the better I felt. With Cindy's help I was able to get some stuff of my own which really made me feel good."

She smiled at me. "Your mom told me that you can never go back to being a boy again, does that bother you?"

I thought about what she was asking for a long time before I answered. "No, I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be a boy again," I explained. "That would mean giving up pretty clothes, makeup, and things that I think are so great. Being a boy would be so depressing."

"My feelings exactly," She exclaimed as she began to unroll my curlers. "Men are so limited; they have to wear pants all the time and worry about not being enough of a man. I can wear slacks or a pretty dress if I want and of course there's always the gorgeous lingerie." She giggled. "When I'm done you're going to be a beautiful lady Jamie, just the kind of daughter any mother would be proud of."

"Mom's already proud of me," I sighed. "Dad's the problem, he just can't seem to get used to me as a girl. I haven't been able to wear anything really pretty since he found out."

"Trust me, tonight will change all of that. Once he sees what a beautiful woman you are he'll never be able to thing of you as a boy again." She explained as she continued to roll up my hair. "No father can resist it when his daughter looks the way you will tonight!

I couldn't answer, I was too busy wiping away the tears of happiness.

It took several hours before my hair was done and the ladies had fixed my makeup and nails, but one look in the mirror and I swore that no matter what, even if they ever found a way to reverse what the tapes had done to me, I'd never, ever, want to be anything but a girl! I couldn't wait to show off to Cindy; finally I could answer her old taunt of "Being way prettier" than me.

The three of us all ended up in my room after mom helped me put together an outfit made up of a pale yellow half slip, a matching bra and camisole, white stockings, and of course a pair of yellow satin panties. Once I had my lingerie on mom helped me slide a yellow dress with a sheer overskirt over my head to keep me from messing up my pretty hairdo. She must have planned on my wearing my yellow outfit because the makeup I wore was a prefect compliment for that dress.

Even Cindy was amazed that I'd have the courage to confront dad dressed the way I was, she was sure I'd get cold feet and chicken out. Mom carefully examined me once then gave me a thorough looking over again before she began to smile.

"I never meant for this to happen Jimmy, it was all a stupid idea to make your sister into something she couldn't be. Of course, if it's any comfort you certainly are everything I ever wanted Cindy to be."

"I know mom," I said brushing aside her concerns. "It's okay though, I really, really like the idea of being a girl."

I excitedly ran my hand along the side of Cindy's dress and shuddered as I felt the silky fabric of my slip brush against my nylon covered legs. "I promise I'll go shopping with you and wear all kinds of pretty outfits."

"This is too weird," Cindy exclaimed, glancing at mom. "Your son is standing here wearing girl's clothes after spending the day getting a makeover in a beauty shop and you're acting as if there's nothing wrong?"

"I didn't have any choice Cindy," I explained. "The idea was to make you more interested in feminine things like pretty clothes and makeup to make you less of a tomboy. If you had listened to those tapes I wouldn’t be standing here in your dress."

"So quit listening to them and take off that dress." Cindy said with a shrug. "Problem solved and you can be a boy again."

"It's not that simple," Mom explained. "Those tapes were made to lock in the behavior pattern permanently, there's no way to change the way they make you think. Jimmy would find that as time went on he'd want to be more and more feminine. He wouldn't understand why but the desire would only increase, never go away."

"That's what you wanted to do to me?" Cindy shouted, stunned that mom would try such a thing. "You would have turned me into some frilly little thing only concerned about her looks?"

"Try a well dressed, lovely young woman!" Mom shouted back. "Look at her, does she look like a bimbo to you?"

Suddenly the silence was deafening as we all realized at once that mom had referred to me as She and Her.

I was wearing a big smile when mom and Cindy turned to look at me, I was thrilled that mom had referred to me as a girl and I knew I'd show Cindy that I was no bimbo.

"You're really getting into this aren't you? Cindy prodded me. "The idea of having to spend the rest of your life as a girl doesn't bother you in the least, does it?"

"I admit that it's a little bit scary but if I'm going to be a girl at least I'm going to be pretty." I smiled as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Those tapes worked so well that I'm really looking forward to becoming a girl. I'll get to wear soft pretty clothes like these, have my hair done, and I’ll never have to pay to see a movie again."

"That's a definite plus, I gotta admit," Cindy laughed as she gave me a hug. "It's going to be different having a sister around, mind if I borrow an outfit now and then?"

"No sweat, you were nice enough to share your things with me so help yourself to anything I get." I felt a closeness to Cindy that I never really felt before. We'd always kept each other at arms length; I didn't understand her world and she didn't understand mine. Now our worlds would be the same. Understanding each other should be a breeze,

"Let's quit gabbing, dad's waiting to meet his new daughter." With that mom gently took me by the elbow and led me to where dad was waiting. He seemed somewhat confused at first but then he smiled and told me I looked very pretty.

That compliment from dad was the sweetest thing he'd ever said to me, if he could bring himself to accept me as a girl my life had just become so much easier.

"Thank you daddy," I whispered as I kissed him on his cheek. "I promise I'll make a good daughter for you."

The kiss seemed to cause dad to fall into a trance for a few seconds. Shaking his head he snapped out of it and sighed. "I love you very much Jamie but it's going to take a little adjustment before I'll get used to your calling me daddy and kissing me like that."

I kissed him on the cheek again then threw my arms around him. "Tough daddy, you'll just have to get used to it because I love you."

Mom got all misty eyed and threw her arms around me. "Oh Jamie, it's so wonderful to have a daughter that would want to wear such pretty things. I can't wait to buy you all sorts of cute outfits and show you how to look pretty and sexy."

We had a wonderful time that evening, dad seemed proud to have three lovely ladies for dinner dates and mom was happy when Cindy relented and wore a dress too. I don't remember having such a wonderful time with my family before and knowing that it meant dad's acceptance of me as his daughter just made things that much more wonderful.

The next morning I wondered if I had been dreaming until I noticed the nightgown and panties I was wearing. In all of the months that I'd been dressing up I never had the courage to dress up overnight but now I was wearing the cutest little nightgown and if that wasn't proof enough there, hanging on my closet door, was the dress I had worn. It was true then, I really was going to be a girl.

At breakfast everyone acted as though there was nothing unusual for me to be wearing my pink baby-doll nightgown but I got a very rude surprise when I sat down on the cold wooden kitchen chair. I always wore some type of bottoms as Jimmy and it simply had never occurred to me that the thinner fabric of girl's clothes would not be much value against a cold chair.

"Now do you understand why I don't wear nightgowns to breakfast?" Cindy laughed as my eyes grew wide with shock. "Guess there's a few little tricks you still need to learn; like making sure you're wearing something warm in the mornings."

"I'll make sure I remember that!" I laughed as I struggled to pull my nightgown further down. "I never thought of that before."

After breakfast I was thankful to change into a pair of cutoff shorts which made me feel much more secure on cold seats. Cindy reached down and pulled out a large brown envelope she had been sitting on.

"Here are a few other things to get used to sister dear."

I opened the envelope and nearly fell off the chair when I saw a new birth certificate made out for a girl named Jamie Lynn, who just happened to be born on the same day as me and had the same last name as me.

The surprise didn't end there because the next thing to fall out was a temporary driver's license also made out to Jamie Lynn.

"Put on something pretty Jamie," Dad said as he kissed me on the cheek. "Once you get your picture taken you'll officially be female."

I was sobbing tears of joy and had to muster all my composure to thank everyone for being so sweet to me.

It seems like so long ago that I became Jamie but looking back it has only been months since I had the final operation. I'm in college now, having a wonderful time and have no regrets over what happened to me within the last year. Dad has accepted me completely and has even managed to be civil towards my dates when they pick me up.

Mom is thrilled to finally have the daughter she had always hoped for. Cindy and I have become much closer and to add to mom's delight she has even begun taking an interest in her looks; frequently borrowing my dresses.

It all worked out for the best, mom got the change she was looking for in Cindy, I got a whole new lifestyle that I've really come to love, and dad now has three women to pamper him.

 

 

© 2001
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