Teddi Dianne's Diary

by Teddi Dianne Seibert-Aldoennetti

© 2003

 

(The innocent (?) years)

chapter XI

Jerry has not arrived either this nor the next morning. I have asked William if Tom might take me shopping; "I have money, I just need transportation." We spend a few hours in town where I have my hair styled and fingernails made over. Then I purchase food for the 'pantry'. Easily enough to feed a hungry Italian man and myself for three days. When Jerry finally appears, about one in the morning the third day, he brings with him two dozen red roses (where he found them that time of night I have no idea). I open the door after I recognize his voice only to find him kneeling before me holding the roses up like a shield. He looks like he has not slept in days. I accept the roses, thanking him, and invite him in. He begins babbling about the argument with his father and how he has not betrayed me. I stop him, saying softly: "I know, I have spoken with Catherine. Is there still a chance for us?" "YES, oh yes," he nearly shouts. While preparing a vase for the roses, cutting the stems to allow them longer life (I must purchase some 7-up for them), I tell him of our conversation: "Mother has invited us both to the Villa as her guests. She said she strongly suggests we should be married before we return. I may consummate our union but I am unable as yet to safely birth our child. If you don't mind living with me as your wife under those conditions until I may complete the surgery then I suppose we might... we could... Do you still want me to marry you?" "Yes, Teddi. Yes." he kneels before me once again, "Teddi, will you marry me?" I smile and cry and shake my head 'yes' as I throw my arms around him and hug him as if never to let go. He reaches into his pocket bringing out the engagement ring which he places once again upon my finger. Still tearful and happy, I think to ask: "Are you hungry?" He replies he is too tired at the moment, perhaps later. Reaching into his pocket once more, out comes the little heart and it's broken chain. I take it, and gently kiss his forehead then take his hands in mine helping him to rise once more as we walk to the bedroom where we may lay next to each other to sleep. All too soon the phone rings heralding morning and I answer automatically, "Pronto? Oh, thank-you William. Yes, you may transfer the call in a moment. Jerry, wake up," I prod him twice, then whisper: "Jerry! It's your father." He takes the phone from me as I rise, pulling my robe on over my negligee. Going out to the kitchen I raid the refrigerator pulling out eggs, ham, milk, some of the things I purchased at the market when Tom drove me to town. I begin to prepare breakfast and in a few minutes realise Jerry is in the shower. He comes out of the bedroom about twenty minutes later dressed for the day, having given me enough time to brew the coffee, prepare hot cakes, slices of ham with eggs, and syrup for the cakes. Double everything for him. I have just placed it all on the table and was pouring our juice glasses when he approaches quietly from behind, hugging me. I nearly drop the juice bottle. His hands slowly rise across my chest to my breasts which he fondles gently through my robe and then slipping his hands under the robe as he continues to caress them through the thin silk negligee. My nipples begin to stand proudly and my breasts fill as my breathing changes at the ecstasy of his touch. I still want him so badly and wish I had asked Dr. Neber if I could be pregnant before my surgery so we might mate even now. "Jerry,.. Jerry please don't... Please,.. I want you so badly and cannot yet do it... Jerry please..." He gently turns me toward him and looks into my eyes which are now far away, the fur between my thighs moist from desire. "I have no doubt, my love, that once you may accept me deep between your legs you shall wear me down. Teddi, I love you." I say nothing but simply place my arms around him, my negligee against his shirt as I kiss him long... and lingering (secretly hoping he will even now...). Reluctantly we finally seat ourselves at the table and eat our breakfast. It is good but not superb, but Jerry behaves as though every morsel is the greatest delicacy, the best meal he has ever tasted. Have I ever mentioned that he is a good actor? He tells me he must go to Los Angeles for the day on business for his father and he has not mentioned to his father that we are together. I tell him in passing I shall go to town to shop for a few clothes so I will have something to wear during our return to Italy, thereupon, he gives me $ 1,000.00 (which was far more than I could ever allow myself to spend). I thank him: "but what will you do for money? Here!" as I give him a newly-married couples kiss (you know the kind, with a promise of much more to come) and return $500.00 to him. He thanks me for breakfast and says he hopes I may do as well with supper. Then looking at me as if he had never seen me before: "You have cut your hair!" "So nice of you to notice." I laugh, "Do you like it?" "I think it is a little short, but... yes, you look nice." "Then you prefer your wife to have longer hair?" "I... do not know. I have not given it any thought. I simply was surprised as you have always had such long hair and... It is nice!" "Don't worry, my love. I shall allow it to grow a little longer, perhaps to my shoulders. I simply was so upset at being thrown out of the Villa, I needed to make a change. Are you going to stand here all day or go to Los Angeles for your father?" He smiles and we kiss again quickly. "I expect to be back by six. If I cannot, then I shall call you and tell you when to expect me." We kiss another good-bye (long and lingering), his hands exploring, he seems to like me in a negligee, then he is out the door and on his way.

After washing and drying the dishes, I take a long shower, select clothes and dress. He has been on his way about two hours before I call William and make arraignments for Tom to take me to town once again. We depart shortly before Ten AM as the stores do not open before then. I have called information and asked for the phone number for Dr. Neber's office, calling for an appointment. As I will be returning to Europe shortly I tell them it is important that I see him today because I must have a prescription refilled before the trip. They could not find any record of me as Teddi and I could not tell them my former name, therefore there is a little confusion until I mention that the last time I saw him was early June just before my first trip to Europe and I have returned here for only a few days to resolve some business dealings before I must go back to Europe. "Miss Winchester, we could squeeze you in at two-thirty. Will you need much time?" "I don't think so, he simply must review my medications and assign me new prescriptions. I do not completely trust the drugs available in Europe." "I understand, although the drugs available in England are well controlled and not subject to counterfeiting should you suddenly need anything." "I occupy my time in northern Italy, sometimes France. Seldom do I go to England, though perhaps I could. Thank-you for the information and the appointment. I shall arrive shortly before two-thirty."

Placing $100.00 of Jerry's money with my remaining funds in the hidden pocket of my purse gives me $4500.00. The remaining $400.00 and balance of my own I shall use to purchase what I need, hopefully spending less than half. When the stores are about to open Tom drives me to town. There I purchase a new dress, more culottes, two pairs of pants, several blouses and assorted undergarments, two pair of shoes and a pair of boots totaling about $ 340.00. The remainder I shall return to Jerry this evening (less, of course the cost of the appointment with Dr. Neber). Encouraged once again, I make arraignments with Tom to drive me to the doctor's office this afternoon and then carry everything in to show to Ann (William's wife). With her approval of my purchases, I return to the cottage. There I remove two large steaks from the freezer placing them on a thawing plate, and begin to arrange my new clothes into the closet. Again noticing the other wigs and their quality, I bring down the one which looks to be about shoulder length. Carefully preparing it, then checking in the mirror to see how it appears when worn. Thinking of the tiara, this cut would do quite well. My own hair is much too short at present. The colour is slightly lighter than that of my own hair (which matched the longer wig perfectly). I suppose I now could wear this wig to Italy and if Mother asks I shall remove it and allow her to see my own hair and explain that I was so upset I had it cut. It will not be necessary to use the adhesive as I shall admit this is a wig. I wonder if Jerry will notice this change. I have had more time to think and do believe if we may mate safely before the operation then I would like to do so after we are married, the desire may become too strong in me to forego any longer. We shall need to discuss this, perhaps after I have seen Dr. Neber I may change my opinion. Shopping and preparations here have taken a great deal of time as now it is just after two and Tom has telephoned me to verify our arrival time at Dr. Neber's office. Moments later we are on our way. Once we arrive I ask if he will wait inside for me until I might finish, he thought it was a little unusual but said yes. We enter the building going to the waiting room and I speak with the receptionist who asks me to fill out a patient sheet (neither she nor Dorothy, the nurse, recognize me). Upon completing the forms I return them to her and she asks how I shall pay for the visit. I tell her cash and she is satisfied. Soon Dorothy comes out conducting me back to Dr. Neber's smaller examination room, the one which includes his office. Dr. Neber finally enters and asks how he might help me today. "I need refills for these two prescriptions you have given to me June last. I shall be in Europe for another two months and do not wish to be without the medications." Giving him the bottles, he looks at them and myself with a puzzled expression on his face. "Yes, Dr. Neber. I was Ted and am now Teddi Winchester who shall be married in a few weeks." He looks at me again, the quizzical expression still on his face as he sits on the plush high back roll-around chair at his desk. "Ted,.. Teddi, you certainly move quickly. Who is the lucky man?" "He is the second son of Alphonse Aldoennetti. So much has been happening, it is difficult to know where to start." "The beginning might be nice." he says. I try to explain to him all that which has transpired since I saw him last, and during the tale Dorothy knocks on the door entering to tell him he has other patients waiting. "Hello, Dorothy." I say. She looks at me strangely and says: "Hello??" I smile, almost laughing. Dr. Neber asks her to bring him Ted's file and she looks strangely at him and then suddenly at me and finally recognizes me. She comes in closing the door behind her and quietly looks more closely at my features, then smiles. "I remember witnessing a paper signed by Ernest, which states you are really a woman. You make a very pretty young lady." "Thank-you, Dorothy. I was just telling Dr. Neber that I shall be married in a few weeks... Oh I forgot! I am a Princess now, … A real, live, titled Princess and have hob-knobbed with the Queen of England." Dorothy sits down also. "Should I curtsey?" "Oh no, that is only enforced at Royal receptions and balls." then to Dr. Neber, "I must schedule the operation and obtain more medications because I am very busy with the Dressage, and scheduling and conducting demonstrations for the family business. I have twenty-three people working in my department. And Jerry, he is my fiancée, has more than 200 working in the departments he operates, except my department reports to him so that means he is also my superior but we have become a team and 'blitz' the politicians and military officers so badly that they don't know what hit them." I am almost laughing as I relate this to them. "They never expect a young woman to be knowledgeable about the firearms they wish to purchase. May we schedule the operation so I shall know when to return?" "Dorothy, would you bring my schedule as well as Ted's file? Perhaps we may work this into September. Ted... Teddi, please remember you will be in the hospital for perhaps three weeks before you may go home and then you may not travel or do anything strenuous for perhaps an additional three months." "That means I may not return to Europe until December or January. I will be all right as I may take residence in the cottage on the Estate in Torrey Pines so I shall have no stairs to climb while I am healing. How long must I wait before I may... you know, before... When may my husband and I be sexually intimate? How long must I wait after the operation in order to be safe? If I am pregnant before the operation will it complicate things?" He smiles at me, that sly look over the top of his glasses as he is reading, "I believe if you are not too far along it would be all right. Say less than three months." "That's wonderful. I will not be pregnant more than two at the most, I hope that will still be safe for my children, I want to be certain I will not harm them. Oh by the way, I shall be returning to Italy the day after tomorrow and will not return here until several days before the operation. If you need to contact me, I may be reached through the Estate here in Torrey Pines. This is the phone number, and the person with whom to speak is William. Simply tell him you have a message for Her Highness, Signorina Winchester. He shall see that the message reaches me at the Villa in Italy. If that avenue proves unusable I may be contacted directly in Italy at the second number. Remember there is a nine hour difference. Dorothy returns with my old file as I am telling him about the method of contacting me. When I mention a Villa in Italy, she wants to know the city to which it is near. I tell her that it is "about ninety kilometers east of Milan, and comprises a land holding of 975 Hectares. I believe that is about 2100 acres if I have executed my math correctly. It is roughly six kilometers long by one and a half wide. There are jagged edges poking into it and out of it so I am guessing at the size but it is quite large on the map." "Here we go Teddi," Dr. Neber interjects, "How does September 6th sound? That is the day after labor day." "That is splendid. Will you be the surgeon?" "No, there is a very good man on the staff at the hospital who does reconstructive surgery in this area and I shall arrange with him to perform the surgery, while I assist. If the date will not work out we shall reschedule and Dorothy will get the message to the Estate to be forwarded to you." "Could Dorothy be there also?" "She is not a surgical nurse so she would not be present." "Dorothy," I ask, "would you mind being there when it is happening? I would feel more assured with both of you there." "If Ernest doesn't mind, yes I could be there." "Thank-you, it is our desire." "Oh my. You are into this aren't you?" I look at her strangely not realizing what I had said. "Pardon me," I ask? She repeats my sentence to me and I laugh. "I'm sorry, I have just concluded a week and a half with the Queen and Princess of England as my guests at the Villa. That manner of speaking comes easily when one is surrounded by both Royalty and Royal Guard." "Come now. You haven't really been to Europe have you?" Dr. Neber asks. Removing my passport from my purse, I hand it to him. They look through the pages at the stamps and notations and a sheet of paper falls out, down to the floor. Dorothy picks it up and glances at it, then looks more closely. "This is a concealed weapons... an INTERPOL permit?" she comments. "Yes, and this is my Federal permit and my permit to teach firearms. I work for my fiancee's family at one of their factories. I am in charge of weapons quality control, demonstration, and instruction. Normally I would be carrying two special semi-automatic pistols and four spare magazines, but today have only this one with me. As one of my pupils, Sir John of Her Majesties Royal guard, stated, and I quote: 'She fired twenty-three shots to each of our five and placed all of hers into a bulls-eye the size of two Shillings at 75 feet. It makes one glad the women of this country don't go to war.'" Dr. Neber is an old (well, middle aged) Navy Surgeon, he smiles at my quote and just shakes his head. Another knock at the door and one of the girls from the front office leans in to tell us that his patients are backing up. Dr. Neber quickly writes me a new prescription and (ouch, these are worse than the shots I had before going to Europe) gives me another injection while Dorothy placates the patients who have been waiting in the other rooms. "Thank-you for coming in Teddi. Your records will be corrected to reflect your new name. Remember you must return no less than three days prior to your surgery." "Thank-you, I brought my birth certificate if you need a copy," handing it to him. He asks me to have them copy it up front as I am leaving, that they might add the copy to my charts. Then he gives me a hug. "You make a very nice young lady, Teddi." I blush and he laughs and hugs me again. "Here are your charts, would you take them up front with you? Thank-you." "Thank-you Dr. Neber. This means a great deal to me. I will never forget this," as I kiss him on the cheek. He blushes, "There are not very many young ladies who may cause me to blush," he comments. I carry the folders up to the reception area and give them my birth certificate to copy.

Ann (the older office worker) has been told by Dorothy about my previous identity and she remembers me. When I return to the front she comes over giving me a quick examination from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. "You are a very pretty young woman." "Thank-you Ann. I'm sorry we have spent so much time, but Dr. Neber and Dorothy wanted to hear all about my fiancee and adventures in Europe. I happen to be back here for a few days and need to refill my prescriptions as I shall be returning to Europe soon and do not have enough to last until I return for surgery... What are the charges?" I remove some of the money I have set aside for this visit and prepare to pay her. She totaled the injection, office visit (extended), and the medications telling me the amount. "He has not given me any medications, I have a prescription, but nothing else." "Wait, I'll go check." She went back to see him and returns a minute later with two small bottles. "He wants you to take one of each of these each morning starting ten days before your surgery. These are to be in addition to the other prescriptions." "Thank-you. Now I am becoming a walking pharmacy." We both chuckle over that as she accepts my money and writes a receipt for the office visit and another for the medications. Collecting Tom, who is reading a magazine, we walk out to the limousine which he has parked about fifty feet down the street. I notice Ann watching us as Tom opens my door allowing me to enter the car. After he closes it, he comes around entering the driver's door, starting the vehicle, he drives us away while both of the office ladies watch us depart. "Did you notice, Miss Winchester, you had an audience as we departed." "Yes Tom, I noticed. I guess they don't have a Princess come in for a checkup every day." "I guess not. Do you need a Pharmacy, Miss?" "Oh, yes! Thank-you. They may not have these items and as there is no time to allow for a wait, it may be necessary to go to more than one pharmacy to find the medications." He drives me to the pharmacy which is used by the family and we enter together so he might introduce me. They have only one of the medications but promise to obtain the other by noon tomorrow allowing me to collect them about one tomorrow afternoon. "There may be no mistake as I am leaving for Europe and must have these medications with me." "We will have them, even if I must raid Scripps to obtain them," the pharmacist tells me with confidence. I pay for the prescriptions, receiving another receipt and the first prescription.

The afternoon is racing on. I have not heard from Jerry so I check the steaks, which are nearly thawed, then place them into the refrigerator to slow their thawing. Bringing out the potatoes and some seasonings for the meat, then mixing a little sour cream with the chives I chopped earlier. The onions are now peeled and cut. The wine, with a thin towel wrapped around the bottle, is chilling in a bucket with crushed ice and I check it once more. And now, a container of mixed corn kernels, green beans, peas, and a little broccoli is prepared and it and the container of sour cream mix go into the refrigerator to await Jerry's arrival. It is at that time I shall begin to cook supper. Finally, the potatoes are washed and I peel and dice them, placing the preparation in a sealed container in the refrigerator. Ready at last. I am so thankful I listened to GrandMother (Gram) as she attempted to teach me to cook. She is a cafeteria manager for the city school system and always has prepared such wonderful meals. I assisted in the preparation of many of the family meals. Upon a few occasions I prepared the entire meal myself. When father learned of this he was furious and did not want me to prepare any further meals. Mom and Gram still allowed me to do it, however, as I enjoy preparing a scrumptious meal. I just don't like to clean up afterward... but do it non-the-less.

Six o'clock comes and goes. Eventually seven o'clock slides past and the time is rapidly flying by. I call William about seven-thirty to see if he has heard from Jerry but he has not. At eight I put all of the other items away and clean the kitchen. At nearly nine o'clock the phone rings. Answering it, I hear Jerry apologizing for not calling earlier. He has been in meetings all day and could not break away. They were going out to supper now and he would not be returning until tomorrow evening. "I am terrible sorry, my love. Am I forgiven?" I suppose once we are working together it will be better as we shall be spending more time together at those meetings, and... afterward. "Yes, I forgive you. The meal has not been cooked and will wait until tomorrow, after that I shall feed our steaks to the dogs and purchase fresh meat." He laughs and promises to be 'home' tomorrow. "Where will you stay? Have you enough money for food and with which to pay for a room?" "The secretary here has secured a room for me in a hotel at the company's expense. I shall be fine. I love you, Teddi. Good-bye my love, I shall return." "I love you too, my husband. Good-bye, kisses!" I place the receiver back onto the cradle, disappointed. But everything will keep, at least until tomorrow night. Placing covers over the sour cream and vegetable mixes will allow them to keep and then they go back into the refrigerator once more. The wine could not go into the refrigerator as it would become too cold. The bucket, therefore, goes into the bathroom, placed in the sink where I may continue to add ice throughout the night. Now to decide what I may prepare as a small meal for my supper. Finally I make my decision and prepare my meal. Finished, I wash my dishes and select a bowl to carry ice for the bucket and wine. Using the alarm, I awaken every three hours to dump water and add ice to the bucket, hoping the temperature of the wine is remaining stable enough to prevent any problems. I still do not understand why I may not place the bottle into the refrigerator which seems to me to be more stable in its temperature than is the bucket.

The next day I spend thinking about my future, our future, and before I realise it, the time is three in the afternoon. I am about to call the manor when the cottage phone rings: "Pronto? Oh, William... Good afternoon, I was about to call you... yes, great minds. I was simply going to ask if Tom might drive me into town that I may obtain the remaining prescription. I'm sorry it is so late but time simply escaped me." He tells me Tom has gone into town unbidden to obtain my remaining prescription which William now has up at the manor (the bill had been paid yesterday). I thank him and say I shall be right up for it. As I have been walking around the cottage bare footed, I go to the dresser to obtain a pair of socks putting them and my new boots on over my feet. My new blouse and culottes go well together and the boots finish the outfit very nicely, I hope Jerry comes home soon and likes what he sees. I take my key, lock the door and walk up to the house where I knock and wait. William comes to the door and tells me I do not need to knock, I am family according to Catherine. "Must I give you a key to the door before you will accept your right to enter?" he admonishes me. "Thank-you William, but no, I do not require a key." We walk to the kitchen and he hands me the medication. I ask that he thank Tom for me, as I had not expected him to go and collect it for me. I begin to weep just a little saying, "You are all being so kind to me. I wish somehow you could know how much I appreciate it." Ann comes over and hugs me, "Teddi, we know. You make it very apparent to us. There are not many who are happy, talking with us as equals, and show their appreciation by little things like saying thank-you and meaning it. Signora Aldoennetti is another such as you. It is no wonder you call each other mother and daughter. Where did you eat last night and this morning, you must be starved." "Oh no, not really. I expected Jerry to come home last night and was ready to prepare steaks but he needed to remain in Los Angeles. He will be home this evening so we shall eat them then. For breakfast I had a cinnamon roll and some milk." "Why aren't you taking your meals here?" "I don't want to be a bother to you. And now that Jerry is here I want to prove to him that I may prepare meals for him like a proper wife. At least until we have enough money to purchase a place like this and have..." "Teddi, I think you had best sit down for a moment. William, would you bring a chair for her? Now dear," she begins to say as William places a chair directly behind me and indicates I may sit.. "Thank-you, William." "This may come as a bit of a shock to you, my dear... Where to begin? Oh well. Teddi, this Estate and another located in Kentucky are Jerry's property. He owns them both. Granted they are not as large as the Estate owned by his father in Italy nor those located in England, France, and Italy which are owned by his brother but they are his non-the-less. Once you are married then you must oversee the staff of each of them. Jerry has an annual income in the millions for he owns and breeds dogs and horses at the several kennels, and stables located in both the United States and Italy." I was just staring at her unable to comprehend anything she is saying. "But, I... Catherine... I thought this property belongs to Catherine. She is the one who invited me to stay on at the cottage. Horses? I love my horse. Catherine gave me a most wonderful horse. Sultan, I mean Satan, he is so intelligent and gentle. Dogs... He also owns dogs? He never told me any of this. I'm glad I didn't know. I... You are joking with me, aren't you?" "No, I'm afraid she is not." Jerry says from behind me, "Does it make a difference?" "Jerry!" I jump up, turn and fly to him, throwing my arms around him as I stand on my toes to kiss him. "I'm so glad you're back. Now I may begin supper." They all begin to laugh. William says to Ann, "I think she did not believe anything you told her." "Well then, I suppose she shall find out the hard way," Ann replies. I am suddenly sobered, "Jerry is it true? Are you a millionaire? Do you own this property and Dogs and Horses and more?" "And if I say yes it is true how shall that affect our relationship?" "I don't know. I probably would not have gone out with you." "Then it is not true. I don't own any of these things." "Now you are making sport of me aren't you?" "Teddi, what may I say to you that will convince you to marry me regardless of my financial status?" "You said it all the other night with two dozen red roses. And I have already said I shall. However I have a request." "And that is?" "May we please speak with Mother together, tomorrow morning early, and I shall explain..."

Jerry and I call from the cottage the following morning and he has a little speaker box attached to the phone so we may both hear and talk: "I shall comply with your wishes Mother. I had simply hoped my marriage might be in a church, with God's blessing. A white satin gown, you and Father (I mean the Signore), and some friends. The Queen said she would like to be present and I would like to ask Margaret to be there also. And, of course, the royal couple who have consented to allow me to be a Princess." "I understand Teddi, every young woman wants a fairy tale wedding." "Oh no,.. please no. My fairy tales all come out badly." "Teddi, please. Consent to marry Jerry immediately and we shall still have the wedding you desire next summer. No one need know the first one has occurred except immediate family. Very little will have changed except there will be leverage to prevent Alphonse from playing the games of which he is so fond. Teddi, I shall deed to you, upon your marriage, my property just outside Milan. If Jerry sells one of his properties in America, the money he obtains will be more than enough to maintain the Milan property for many decades. In this way you and Jerry will have a home of your own close to the factory and near enough to us that we may visit easily. Besides, it will give you somewhere of your own to continue Dressage. Jerry will retain the California property which gives him a west coast home for business trips." "Thank-you MaMa. I shall try to be a good husband for her." "See that you do Jerry. She is a precious daughter to me. Teddi... Teddi?" "She is crying again MaMa." as he gives me his handkerchief, "She is happy and is saying 'Thank-you Mother.'" "Very well. Tell her that after you have returned here, married of course (Legal Jerry, not some creative paperwork.), tell her I shall then draw up the papers and we, she and I, shall reopen the Estate and procure the necessary help for the castle, kennels, stables, and grounds. Speaking of stables, would you be closing those you own in the States and transferring the horses here?" "No MaMa, I think I shall sell the horses and stables and purchase new breeding stock in Europe for the Estate. I may retain a few but most I shall sell. That would net me fifteen to eighteen million to purchase those horses of which I had been thinking recently. The dogs I will move for they shall complement our breeding stock at the Villa. Oh MaMa?" "Yes Jerry, what is it?" "You may need to speak with Teddi when we return. She thought I was penniless and it has come as quite a shock to her that I am a millionaire." "She truly did not know?" "No MaMa, the staff here told her today while I was hiding out of sight and she truly thought they were joking with her. When I came out and confirmed it she almost fainted." "Then I am even more pleased with her. She wanted you for who you are and not what you possess. Yes I shall speak with her when you both arrive. Now remember, it must be a legal wedding." "Cia MaMa. I shall not be creative. Good-bye... Teddi, please stop crying." "Jerry, you have a lot to learn about women. When we are very sad or very happy, we cry. Perhaps as I grow older it may be tempered somewhat. You really are a millionaire, aren't you?" "Yes Teddi, I really am a millionaire." "I'm happy I did not know." The next two days we make plans and walk along the beaches. The second day as we walk along the sea wall south of the roller coaster, a photographer approaches. It was then I learn Jerry has commissioned him to take photographs of us together and we sit on the sea wall as the photographer walks out onto the sandy beach in order to take one of the photos. Each evening we watch a show. One in San Diego and the next day one in Los Angeles, and we essentially relax in each other's company for the two days. Again, I sleep at the cottage and he up at the manor. Then we travel once again.

We are married a week later near Lexington, Kentucky. He knows Arleen through mutual friends and I know her from times I have visited her parent's home (both as Teddi and as Ted). She and the other sisters (and their parents) know of my deformity and have accepted me as both male and female. Anyway, I ask Arleen (and her sister Illeen) to attend our wedding and we, Jerry and I, pay for the airline tickets and provide a place for them to stay in his manor in Kentucky, to which Jerry and I have moved. We file the paperwork immediately for a marriage license (and allow blood to be taken, I detest doing that). When the papers finally return, we are all chauffeured to a suburb of Lexington so Jerry and I may be married. As we both like the area, we decide to retain the manor as a hideaway. We have spent the week waiting for the papers by enjoying each others company. Riding, playing, and living together as husband and wife. I have been a shameless hussy and our first night together attacked him begging him to make love to me. He did not want to do it until we were married but I managed to coerce him and discover the feel of him in me as he kisses and caresses me is absolutely wonderful. I hope I am pregnant, I shall continue whatever the case. For the wedding, I have used much of the money I had saved and purchased a ring for Jerry to wear once we are married. I also buy ties, and shirts (I checked the sizes of the ones in his closet), and take him out to purchase him a very good pair of riding boots (he has been wearing these old things he has had around for who knows how long) and jodhpurs that we may go riding together without him soiling his good pants. I wish I had worn a satin wedding gown but at least I had on a white dress. Jerry assures me I may wear any gown I wish when we are married once again in Europe next year.

While we are at the manor he gives me one of the horses, now I own two. Jerry has taken many photographs of me, and when a photographer from 'LOOK' magazine arrives to take photographs of some of Jerry's horses, Jerry asks if he would take a photo for use in the magazine article of me and my horse. It was later published and I am now a celebrity. Jerry and I enjoy each other's constant company this wonderful week and are spending the remainder of our wedding day in bed and other places (lovemaking). He is wonderful and gentle with me and I find myself wanting him again and again without the slightest reservation. He truly cares about me and how I feel and brings me to complete fulfillment nearly every time we mate, I am so happy. The first time we mated was shortly after my period had ended and now after a week weeks of it I find I feel differently and although the sex is wonderful my burning need has abated somewhat.

Jerry and I finally arrive back in Milan late one afternoon, to be greeted joyfully by Mother. After we return to the Villa, I find even Charles and the others seem happy to see me back. Mr. Johnson makes a point of coming up to the Villa to greet me also, telling me that Satan misses me and they both expect me to come to the stables ready to practice in the morning. Arraignments have been made for my few things to be taken to my room where they will be placed with my other clothing as Jerry, Mother, and I enter the study. The Signore is yet at work but should be returning sometime late this afternoon. Supper is to be placed in an hour and we will partake of the meal here then return to Milan for a show. I have shown the ring to Mother, it has a huge diamond with eight smaller diamonds surrounding it. I just know Jerry spent a small fortune for it, I have not been able to slow his spending. Now that we are married he has been spending even more to purchase me jewelry, flowers (he cheated -- I had told him not a truckload so he had them delivered in five taxis), and clothing. He has taken me to a show nearly every night, flying for up to five hours to go to the city in which the show is performing. While Catherine and I are for the moment alone, I ask her how I might slow his spending but she simply says, "It will come to pass Teddi, accept this for now, for he shall become so busy in the future that he shall not continue and then you shall desire, but be unable to find time for it." After we have been talking for perhaps an hour I pick up my purse and suggest we might freshen ourselves a little before supper, Jerry agrees. As we excuse ourselves, the Signore arrives and I go over to show him the ring, but upon seeing me he reaches out, slapping my face. Seizing my arm, he begins to drag me to the front door as I am stumbling to regain my balance. All the while he is yelling things such as: "I will not have it in my house." "It shall never be with my son." Jerry is trying to intervene, as is Mother, but the Signore is moving too quickly. He throws me out the front door onto the porch as he continues to scream at me in Italian. The pistol tumbles out of my purse which drops as I fall. I collect them and rise walking to the Signore handing the pistol to him. "Here, why don't you just shoot me and end it all? Then I shall no longer be married to Jerry and you shall not have a grandson." Turning my back to him I begin to walk away as he gives me a hard push causing me to lose my balance. I fall down the stairs impacting my right breast several times as suddenly a shot rings out. Mother screams, Jerry shouts, and pain thrusts itself upon the side of my head as I finally end my crash to the driveway. My hand instinctively presses against my head and ear where that pain originates. Dizzy from the impact with the driveway and the pain in my breast, I begin to rise unsteadily turning to face my assailant. Removing my hand from my head, I discover it is covered thickly with blood. Holding it forward for him to see, through the pain I remember saying; "I never expected you would be my assassin, Father." as darkness closes in upon me.

There is bright light, I had heard there would be light. I hope God does not think badly of me for wanting my womanhood. I hear voices, I must be close now. It feels like I am floating. "I'm sorry God, please don't be angry with Father, I mean the Signore. Please God. I shall accept whatever punishment. I at least knew the love and sweet kisses of a good man. I'm sorry God, but I wanted to give my husband children. I wanted your blessing. It's all my fault, please forgive everyone." I am crying again, the light is going away. I feel the tears running down my face and the pain in my head and right ear. Wait! If I feel pain then I am not dead? An angel is holding my hand, she looks like Mother. It is becoming dark again, she is going away. "No wait. Please come back." Slowly I see shapes, there is a little more light. Mother is here,.. and Jerry,.. and the Signore. "No please don't... I'll go away... Please don't shoot me again." He is coming at me. "NO!!" My arms are too weak to stop him. "No. Please don't hurt me again." He... he is holding me. He is being very gentle. "Please stop. I'll go away, I'll give Jerry an annulment. You don't need to worry any... more." "Teddi, don't go... Teddi, please forgive. Please come home,. daughter!" "Daughter? Mother?... Father?" I want to hug him but I have no strength, "Signore? I may call you Father? I may stay? I may give him children?" "Yes... Yes, you may remain with us." "Thank-you. I needed to hear you say that," looking at Jerry I continue, "I shall be able to safely bear our child, my love, my operation is September 6th. I love you all so much. I am... so happy..." as tears flow freely down my face once again. "Father!?.. May I contin..ue to..." I hear someone saying: "She needs sleep now." Except I think they said it in Italian.

I awaken to see Mother sitting next to my bed. I am in a strange room, it must be a hospital. "Mother.?.." "TEDDI. I'm so glad you are finally awake. How are you feeling?" "Very tired, my head and my breast hurt. I had the nicest dream. I asked God not to be angry with the Signore and there was an angel who looked like you. Then I came back and the Signore was not angry with me anymore and called me daughter. He said I was welcome. Wasn't that a nice dream Mother?" "A very nice dream, Teddi. I must tell the nurse you are awake. I shall be back in a moment." She hurries out returning in moments. "Mother, where is Jerry?" "He is busy today, Teddi. He and Alphonse are in London." "Mother, would it be wrong of me to ask for a bodyguard? I need someone here to protect me as I am very fearful." "I think that may be allowed, I will ask the doctor and if he says it is permitted I shall have Giorani send someone." "Mother, Jerry told me he is a millionaire. Is it true? I thought Jerry's brother had all of the money. He has given me a horse. We took photographs. I didn't know he had money, I thought the Estate in La Jolla was yours. Please, may we start again? A young woman who wishes to marry your son and seeks your blessings and understanding?" She smiled at me: "Yes Teddi. You have my blessings and those of Alphonse as well. Go to sleep now and rest. We shall return in a few days to rescue you from this place and take you home." "Thank-you. I have a terrible headache, may I have some aspirin?" "I shall ask the doctor to give you something to help..." "Mother. Don't tell Jerry but I think I am pregnant. Isn't it wonderful?" "Truthfully Teddi?" "I think so, I shall know better soon. Will it hurt the child if I continue to ride Sultan for a while?.. Ohh, my head." "This is wonderful news, Teddi. Please tell me when you are certain, and yes you may ride safely for many more months. I must go. I shall tell the doctor and Giorani. Good-bye daughter, I shall return to see you again tomorrow." I smile and as I reach my hand up to her I realise she has gone. It is the doctor standing there with an injection for me. "Scusi, Signora Aldoennetti, I have... another injection to ease the pain in your head. I think you will not wear earrings for a time, and do not worry, the medicine will not harm your bambino." "Grazie-you", I whisper to him as I fall back into a drug induced slumber once again. I am riding Sultan through a beautiful meadow with hundreds of puppies all around us, Jerry is on the other side of the meadow waiting for us and Mother and Father are riding nearby. I must reach Jerry to tell him the Signore shall be a GrandPaPa soon. "teddi..." "Teddi..." "TEDDI,.." "Come sleepyhead, it is time to go home." A dream, "I hav such.. been nice Mother., dreams. Jerry married him I, beautiful meadow, you be granmothr." "I know Teddi, come your husband is waiting for you." I see Jerry laughing quietly while standing by the door. "Come Jerry, don't stand back there. Your wife needs your strength." "Wife???.. Jerry?? I... I... I have hurt been I?" "Yes Teddi, I thought we settled all that Tuesday when Alphonse and I were here." "Then is true... Jerry, I... married,. again once at... welcome Villa." "Yes Teddi, it is true." she said as Jerry's strong arms help me to rise from the bed. I am so weak I may barely stand. I will manage somehow, I must, I am an Aldoennetti. "Where clothes am? I muss dress. Aldoennetti, Uhh... shall not... hospital... nothing negligee robe?" "Good, she is beginning to think again, the drugs are wearing off. Here Teddi, I have your things on the bed over here." She has selected the chocolate brown trousers, hunter's green sweater, black jacket and pumps which she has seen me wear so many times. The appropriate undergarments are also on the bed and I dress slowly with some disorientation.

I find myself sitting thinking I am dressing only to have Catherine press me to continue dressing, my limbs not doing that which my mind thinks they are doing. I am beginning to improve however, and my strength is slowly returning, so it is the medications which are causing this problem. Somehow I manage to dress myself with Catherine's help and am finally ready to go home. "Mother, is drunk think not but drinking." "It is the medication. You shall become worse and then improve quickly with a little food and fresh air. Are you ready?" "Is yes ready I... I ready yes I am... Yes!" Mother is laughing quietly, her eyes sparkling at my efforts to speak coherently. "Jerry you may come in again." she calls toward the door. It opens and this most handsome man is standing there looking at me. He walks over and helps me to stand once again. "Is love I Jerry you. To show meadow is you beautiful." He laughs realizing I am not terribly coherent as yet. "Jerry, treat her gently. She will be like that for a few hours until the medications begin to lose their potency." "My sweater hurts." I say while holding my head. He chuckles, "She is often very amusing, MaMa. But this is a side of her I had never suspected." "Oh Mother. Is beautiful manor on fifty horses in green. You see wait soon." Jerry was laughing loudly now, and mother just looked confused. "No!... is it water there pretty with cool air by our tree." "MaMa, she is trying to say she wants you to see our manor at Lexington, Kentucky. It has over fifty horses, and sits on a hill overlooking the Lake. I do not understand what she means by a meadow. There is no meadow on the property." "In my head, come future sometime. You see it. I have gift and music... geniatric from mother side." Catherine looks at me as though she has been shaken. Realization comes flooding over her as she understands that which I am trying to say. "Teddi, are you saying you have the gifts from your mother's side of the family?" "Yes, are gifts from GradMother... see many things and hear. You and I too many... too many... You and I... have many too thoughts we think separately connected." Catherine sits on the bed, her hands grasping mine. "Is true thinking now. I not hearing but yes instead. That is pretty horse." Catherine holds me close to her, "I have long desired a daughter to whom I could pass these gifts. And here you are with them fully developed but untrained. I suspected this before." "Sultan is confused I am." "I know, my dear. We must be careful not to go too close to him until you are thinking clearly. I understand now why you have done so well, so quickly." I do not remember the journey home nor much about going to my room. I vaguely remember eating some food and sleeping and eating again.

Eventually I recall Mother coming to my room. "Teddi, come daughter, awaken and listen to me." She calls to me gently several times. Finally I realise she is there and open my eyes to look at her. "Teddi, are you aware enough of what you are doing to talk?" "I am much improved, only a little foggy." "Fine daughter. You spoke in the hospital of gifts from your mother's side of the family, do you know what these gifts may be?" "Yes. I may affect people when I am working with them. I almost know what it is they are thinking. In times of extreme stress or fear I may talk or hear concepts not exactly words when no one is speaking. If someone who is hurt, who is kin to me by blood I may hear them asking for help. I could hear father when he had his accident even though thousands of miles were between us. I have held this closely as a secret but now find for some reason I may sometimes hear you." "Good, this shall remain our secret and only you and I shall know of it." "Mother, the beautiful meadow I saw was in your head. Where is it?" "You shall see it soon enough, we shall discuss this later." "Sultan is unhappy, I must visit him." "Tomorrow Teddi. After you rest a little longer." She departs my room and closes the door as she goes out. "Mother, I must tell you!" She did not hear me. I manage to stand after some effort and gather my robe over my negligee. Walking unsteadily, I exit my room, then hold the banister to steady myself descending the staircase one careful stair at a time. I hear Jerry, Mother and Father talking in the study but as I expend more effort to reach them, the effects of the medications gradually take their toll on my energy reserves. Just as I finally reach the doors of the study I fall in a heap against them. Catherine and Alphonse open the doors to find this pile which is me just outside. "Jerry, I love you." I whisper. He gently picks me up and carries me back upstairs to my room where he places me back onto the bed. Then kissing me on the forehead he tells me he shall be back up after they finish talking and will remain with me all night if it will please me. "Teddi, I love you. All shall be well." "I am making a strong young man for you, Jerry. I love you." "I know, I.. What did you say?" "Your son, he shall be a strong young man." "Teddi, are you telling me you are pregnant?" "With your son." "Teddi," he yells and hugs me, saying: "Here, Come, I must tell PaPa, MaMa, and Alphonso." He picks me up and carries me downstairs once again, bursting into the study. Everyone stops talking and looks at him standing there holding me as he stammers out: "PaPa, I am a boy, PaPa... I mean,.. I am a PaPa, it is a boy." Everyone looks at us in disbelief, then happiness for us, and begin to talk all at once. Father rises from his chair and comes over taking my hand and kissing it. "Thank-you Daughter. It is safe for you?" "Yes Father. Dr. Neber said I could have my operation in September and if I were pregnant a month or two it would not be a problem." Alphonso shakes Jerry's hand and bids him congratulations. Catherine just smiles at me and asks, "Is this true daughter?" "Yes mother, I am quite certain. I may sense that which will be the young prince growing inside me." Sophia looks shocked. Jerry assists me in returning to my bed after I ask for a few cookies and milk (which HE brings up to me). Just a few cookies, five or six each of eight or nine varieties; and a large glass of milk. Jerry spends the remainder of the night with me and it takes a lot of convincing before I succeed in enticing him to mate with me again. He has this old-world idea that once I am pregnant he should not make love to me nor deposit more of his sperm in me. I think in the future we shall not have a problem. I had been concerned I might not be capable of mating with him because of the memory of the repeated rapes, but he is so gentle and arouses me as I have never been aroused before... We mate and move as one, the world has become a wonderful place.

The next morning I am feeling much better. Especially after I have been up for an hour or two, so I walk out to see Sultan. We go for a short ride, giving him the opportunity to actually stretch his legs as we end our trot with a heart pounding run down a trail through the meadow. He is fast and powerful. We walk slowly back to allow him to catch his breath and once at the stables I give him several carrot sticks to munch. "Now I know why you missed me, you old faker. You just wanted your carrot sticks." He laughs at me. "I will have a second horse coming from America who shall be staying with us. He is not so well trained as you, but I think you shall find he is also intelligent." I shall not repeat what he said. I think he knows I am pregnant, he continues to gently nuzzle me as if to point toward the young prince. "Yes, I am. How do you know? He shall be a young prince who someday may ride my Sultan." At that he stops and looks at me, then steps close and nuzzles me again. I brush him for an hour and clean the saddle. The other saddles arrived during my absence. I take the time to also condition them before returning to the Villa. That afternoon I ride Sultan once again, practicing in the arena, rewarding him afterward with carrot sticks and apple slices. I must prepare ever more diligently for Catherine has been busy and has once again registered me in a competition which shall occur shortly before I return to America for my operation.

After I return to the Villa again, Catherine and I ring Dr. Neber's office. When I tell Ann I am pregnant, she sounds shocked. Then Dorothy comes on the line and I tell her. She is happy for me and says she shall relate the information to Ernest (Dr. Neber). I tell her I will see them both in September and ring off. Mother and I spend an hour formulating plans to go open my new Estate (she will give it to me after our 'royal' wedding next year) and we are to go examine it tomorrow morning. Jerry has asked us to come by the factory for lunch that day (since we shall be so close) in order that we may discuss the Estate and the cost of opening it again. "Thank-you MaMa for this wonderful gift. Teddi shall make an excellent hostess of the castle." "Castle? There is a real castle???" "Jerry, I wanted to surprise her. For shame. Yes Teddi, every Princess should have her castle." "I'm sorry MaMa, I did not realise she did not know." "Mother, it is a real castle?" They both begin laughing at my amazement. "Yes daughter, one of very few remaining in Italy most are here in the north. It has not been open for more than a century and needs much work but it looks promising and I may think of no one more suited to own it than our young Princess. You must promise to invite us to the grand opening ball." "Oh, I shall Mother. I shall. May we leave early so there is plenty of time to explore?" We complete our plans to depart with the men in the morning. The driver will let us out at the groundskeeper's cottage where we may begin our exploration of the grounds. Later, he will return to remain with us once he has delivered our husbands to the factory. About an hour after our arrival at the castle we shall be met by four workmen who will drive to the castle from the Villa. It would be they who shall assist us in the exploration of the castle itself. I may hardly wait.

Morning is here, I am wearing brown culottes, black boots, and my green silk print blouse. My first pistol is in my strap purse which I drape over my shoulder. Jerry has 'helped' me to dress, I'm glad we started early. Once dressed, I place the leg holster and the second pistol under the culottes on my left leg then Jerry and I go downstairs where I have my usual roll and glass of milk. Mother and Father are there just beginning breakfast. I walk over and kiss each of them on the cheek. Father looks at Mother and says; "I did not realise until now how nice it may be to have a daughter." He looks at me as if seeing me for the first time and after ten or twenty seconds smiles at me and says; "a daughter... who is carrying my grandson." I blush as he and Jerry laugh, quiet happy laughs. Soon it is time to go and as we all enter the car my adventure begins.

Friday 5 Aug.

The drive to the castle grounds requires nearly an hour. Although it is between Milan and the Estate, the extra time is needed because of the long narrow road leading from the entrance of the property up to the castle itself. For nearly the entire route the small road is covered by the overlaying and sometimes intertwining branches of the trees which are planted each side of the road. I may well imagine the beauty one could see when horse drawn carriages were the means of transportation up and down this road. We pass several grounds keepers and some buildings which I believe may have been the stables. They appear to be badly run down requiring a great deal of work to become useable. I would not want to place either of my horses in those buildings at the moment. Hopefully the castle shall be in better condition. We arrive at the grounds master's cottage and the driver opens the doors to allow us to exit the vehicle. This building looks to be in good shape, but I would expect it to be that way since there are people inhabiting it. Catherine knocks on the cottage door which is opened by an older gentleman who speaks with her in Italian. She introduces me to him using Italian and tells him I have not yet learned the language. "Teddi, this is Antonio. He is the grounds-master and is in charge of the work force which will maintain your lands. You will have another individual who shall be in charge of those maintaining the buildings. Temporarily we shall borrow workmen from the Estate until you have your own funding and may hire help. This property is perhaps half the size of the Estate but is much better suited to your needs. It has many riding trails, a small lake, and extensive horse stables and dog kennels in addition to training areas. A small fund had been established to care for the lands, therefore the buildings may need extensive renovation. That is the purpose of our visit today, to estimate the cost of that renovation and the annual upkeep of the properties. Alphonse has said we shall establish a telephone exchange here during the renovation and eventually, perhaps, you may wish to once again build quarters for your staff on the property." "Thank-you Mother. If Antonio does not speak English and as I do not speak Italian, how may we communicate?" "Obviously daughter, you shall learn Italian." Drudgery!! "Meanwhile, he has an excellent feel for what needs be done to the grounds and, with adequate funding, shall reestablish the elegance which once existed here. Come, let us look at the property." We three enter a Land Rover and drive about the few roads on the property. The Villa and it's immediate surroundings are far more developed than is this property. At the Estate there are roads hidden away in the trees allowing for rapid movement, but here there are few roads and most access may only be made by horseback or on foot. Somehow that makes this property seem more appealing to me and less severe. I guess I'm a country girl. The land will need a great deal of work to clear the dead brush and accumulated debris. This is something which may be accomplished over several years. The corrections shall begin at the castle and work outward to the borders. We simply need to establish a larger budget for grounds maintenance in order to allow for the improvements. The present budget maintains the grounds 25 meters each side of the road leading from the entrance up to the castle, and a space of 50 meters around the castle itself. This means nearly 99% of the grounds have had little or no care over the years. Mother and I decide the budget needs be increased by a factor of nearly fifty until things have been put right, then it may be reduced perhaps to one-tenth or one twelfth that amount to continue proper maintenance of the entire property.

The stables! They are a disaster. All the wood is rotted and needs be replaced as does the roof. The outside walls are stone and look to be in good shape but we shall need to add heating and air conditioning, to prevent sickness during the winter months or summer heat. The kennels are nearly non-existent and will be razed and reconstructed. The Castle itself... Where to start? Again most of the wood needs be replaced. In some areas the stones are cracked or fallen. The parapets require extensive work before anyone may stand upon them, a workman stepped out and almost fell through the planking. And the moat... Yes it has a moat, but it has been used as a refuse dump for what must be centuries. With the workmen's estimates after examining the buildings (and our own thoughts of the impending costs), we believe the repairs and improvements to all the property shall require nearly $3,000,000,00 U.S. and perhaps five years time. I am stunned. Catherine feels this is not out of order as the property has not been occupied or given much care for well over a century. Jerry and I shall be the first occupants of the castle (other than wild-life) since before 1830. We have exhausted the entire morning at the castle. Finally we tell the men to return to the Estate and Mother and I ride on to the factory to speak with Jerry and Father. I cannot justify this expenditure to restore the property. As wonderful as it might be, our (Jerry's and my) combined incomes for five years would be thrown into the restoration. Even with the additional moneys from the sale of the horses in the States, the cost and time are extravagant. The Castle will be unable to house a family for more than a year even if we put money into nothing but restoration of the castle twenty-four hours a day. Jerry seems willing to put the money into the property and feels long-term it will be worth the cost. I agree, but we could spend far less and still have the full use of the property simply by building a new home at another location. Finally they convince me and we all agree to go ahead and restore the castle and it's moat (to that of a shallow pond which surrounds the castle and is mostly for esthetics). During this time we shall live in temporary quarters which shall be constructed near the location of the stables. Later when we move into the castle, those quarters shall be used to house whomever we hire to guide the care and training of the horses. Completion of these quarters could be accomplished in a mere three months thereby allowing me to live comfortably while near the reconstruction. There is not much time remaining before I must return for my surgeries so Jerry and I must see an Architect immediately to plan this temporary home such that construction may be completed before I return from the States for the final time. The home shall also include a nursery for our young prince.

This week passes us by very quickly. So soon have the days since my first visit to my castle proceeded. I have had little time for my diary as I spend long hours at Dressage/ Event practice, the factory, target practice, and the restoration plans. During the actual repairs and reconstruction of the castle, we shall move the moat away from the castle walls to prevent future seepage. Additionally, the moat will not be as deep (originally about forty feet) but will become a shallow fish pond (two or three feet deep) which will arc in a semi-circle around the front and sides of the castle. It will be crossed by two bridges to allow automobiles to approach the entrance and depart again. In this manner we will have removed the maintenance costs the moat would require of the castle itself while retaining the illusion of old world charm. Much like the Estate we shall have gardens and foot-paths around the front and sides of the castle as well. The rear shall be reconstructed and a second entry road provided to it. This shall allow delivery vehicles to approach and discharge their cargo directly into a covered receiving area without crossing the moat. The castle courtyard will be reworked to provide a large yard of grass and flowers with several trees. Powerful lights to aid in plant growth will be added as the castle shadows the courtyard throughout the year. Electricity! The entire castle will be wired to provide electricity to all the rooms and grounds. This expense alone is beyond my imagination. Mother and I had forgotten to consider this cost during our initial planning, and that of the telephones, running water, etc.. The first order of business, however, is our temporary home. The firm which designed the recent addition to the Villa has been engaged to design our temporary home, the new Kennels, restoration of the Stables, and removal of the debris in and around the castle itself. They have attacked with gusto and Jerry and I go Monday next to view (and sign) the final plans for the construction work. Eventually we shall also have the final information concerning the reconstruction of the castle interior.

My involvement in my second riding trial shall occur Tuesday. Again it shall be in Milan for it is a local trial. This is to be a full event occurring at several different locations in order to offer all of the items necessary for a proper event. This shall be my first full event held at the intermediate (third) level as my judging in France jumped me all of the way through what is commonly considered to be the beginner's two levels. This time I am quite apprehensive. Mother seems to believe I shall secure the first place ribbon without difficulty. I am still making mistakes, especially during the jumping. It would be all I need for Sultan to stop during the competition, the way he does whenever I make an error during practice. That may be just fine for me to learn, but I do not believe the judges would see it that way. At least this time I shall have an Italian judge. I hope this means he shall be prejudiced in our (the competitors) favor.

Today (Saturday) Mr. Johnson will have Desarei taken to the Castle grounds such that I may ride him back into some of the areas which we could not easily see from the roads. My bodyguard, I hired him yesterday at Giorani's recommendation, will accompany me as will Mother and Jerry. This is all so exciting. I found the meadow!! It is covered with immense patches of beautiful yellow and red flowers growing up between large areas of tall grass. As we slowly ride through the grass we discover a shallow stream lazily winding its way through the meadow, bubbling and gurgling quietly to both itself, and the birds and wildlife which live here and in the surrounding trees. As we ride in, the birds and other small creatures complain at us for our intrusion before becoming silent, hiding until we have passed and then venturing out to complain once again as if saying: 'this is our home, knock first'. I am startled out of my revere by Mother: "Teddi I hope you shall invite me to ride here frequently. It is like another world." "Of course, Mother. It is wonderful isn't it?" When we could no longer put off returning to the castle, nearly five hours have passed us by. Our ride allowed us many discoveries and we but barely penetrated the expanse of the land. I shall be very sorry to return to the United States and will find my wait there to be difficult. My heart and my life are now here, in Italy, with Jerry, my castle, Mother, Father, and my new friends. Even though I have great difficulty speaking the language, everyone is very kind and helpful to me. Those few who are now in my employ and who have spoken with Giorani and the other bodyguards from the Villa, have allowed me to learn that I am liked by everyone. It is very nice to be liked and to be loved. All too soon I must depart for the U.S.. August is nearly ended and my operation looms before me. Jerry cannot go along as he is preparing for Cambridge and has many long hours to complete at the factory before he leaves. I sense the wonder of our mating, Jerry and I, as our young prince continues to develop within my womb. It is a pleasing sensation and I may detect changes which are occurring but am not certain I may detect the 'personage' of that young life.

Where has the time gone?

Monday I have no opportunity to go horseback riding, traveling instead to the Factory with Jerry and Father. There I have once again been learning the paperwork involved in my new position. There is, of course, more target practice at the factory range. I am becoming quite good with the 9mm but still much prefer my little 'toys' (as Giorani calls them). Then more lessons in speaking and understanding Italian. Finally Jerry and I go to see the architects and I spend money (with a capital M). It is difficult for me to comprehend that the Castle and it's lands are to be mine! I continually think of them as being Jerry's property but when we approve the final changes made today to the plans for the kennels, stables and stable house, only my signature is needed, I shall be the land title holder. I shall own a castle. It shall be beautiful, the plans we have for it and the grounds, to be realised over the next eight years. This shall be a showplace. Eventually when the Queen comes to vacation here she may not wish to leave. I pay the firm a deposit in the form of the first quarter of the costs for the stable house, kennels, and stable using the Eurocard. I would like to know what limits exist on the expenditures one might make against this card. I have just spent nearly $280,000,00 U.S. using it, that is thrice my yearly income at this, my new position. I have great hopes that my efforts at sales shall begin to pay, for I am to receive one-half of a percent of the profits of each of the sales for which I assist closure. A rather large order could therefore pay for a considerable part of the expenditures I have just made.

Tuesday, of course, is the trial. Once again I place First (barely) but not without the loss of far too many very important points. I am very frustrated, I should have performed much better. Upon my return from the United States I must practice far more. Then perhaps I may enter the international competition at the same level and lose no points when I place First. If I am able to compete so well and earn 'flourishes' at the International then I will have received three such awards.

Wednesday finds me once again at the factory receiving more training. This in the art of special redesign. I'm glad I do not need do that for a living, it is an art. The men seem to know just what to do to change the weapons to accomplish the special tasks for which they are being created. I think they find my 'interest' to be surprising, and rather than being angry at having a woman in charge they seem now to be trying to teach me that which they know. When I have difficulty understanding (the techniques not the language.. a double handicap) they slowly become upset but then I tell them it is an art and they are artists. Since I am no Michelangelo that is the reason I do not understand. They seem to like the idea that I am comparing them to that great artist. If, however, I do not comprehend (at least a little) then how may I assist in the sales of these wares? More lessons. My Italian language instructor tells me today I should simply hit the person over the head with the English-Italian dictionary. I depart in tears. On the journey home I stop for a short time to visit Antonio and observe the changes made to the road. We have lost trees which lined the road so beautifully. That canopy of green is only partially present now. It was necessary such that the 'heavy' equipment could reach the castle. I am saddened at this turn of events as is Antonio, but we both understand the need. Somehow I have communicated with him that we shall repopulate the roadside when the work is finished.

Thursday, Riding Practice, riding practice, riding practice, and somehow a few hours to once again visit the castle to see the workmen 'dozing under' the old kennels. For some reason seeing the 'history' of this land disintegrate under those machines makes me sad... I may almost imagine the ladies and gentlemen walking these lands and the dogs running to the tree line and back. I return to the Villa, greatly subdued.

Friday Sultan and I are up very early and we practice for two hours before I arrive back at the Villa in time to quickly shower and change to go to the factory range for more target practice. Everywhere I go during the day, my bodyguard now accompanies me (except the obvious places of course). I know Catherine also is protected in this way but it seems more subdued for her somehow. Perhaps it seems harsh to me because I have more difficulty communicating with him than I did with Giorani, and it is still so new to me to actually be paying someone to travel with and protect me. He watches me shoot, and occasionally shows me something to change which helps me be just a little more accurate. I watch today as he and Giorani have a little competition together. They are well matched and seem to like each other. Giorani is the one who selected him to be my bodyguard. I cannot imagine what he may have been told about me but he is very respectful and acts almost like a father to me.

 

chapter XII

Saturday 20 Aug.

I have once again asked that Desarei be taken to the castle grounds. Five horses in all are going as Mother is also riding and Sophia and her (and my) bodyguards. We ride the trails back into an area which we had not explored Saturday last. Buried deep into the woods, covered with vines (and like something out of a movie about the jungle reclaiming its own) we find the remnants of some very old buildings. I cannot imagine their former purpose. The windows are simply openings, the doors are nowhere to be found but the doorways are covered with a curtain of green vines. Mother believes these may have once been servant's quarters. If that is true, their lives were very austere. We have located an old bell, it must weigh several hundred pounds. Again it is in the middle of nowhere and almost hidden by the foliage offering no clue as to its original use (probably a church) or the location from which it came. The clapper is missing, probably held in place by a rawhide strip or some other material which has long since vanished. It is great fun to make these discoveries and surmise as to their original purpose and locations. We ride back to the castle. I called it the 'Keep' the other day and now we have all begun to refer to it in that manner. We send the horses back to the Villa and travel together to Milan for a late luncheon. It is interesting to note that the establishments which cater to visitors from England or the United States are open throughout the day, whereas most of the local establishments are closed for an hour or two during and following the noon meal which is the largest meal of the day as well as a time for socialization. When we once again return to the Villa, I change and go to find Sultan such that we spend several hours in practice once again. I may never have noted this but we normally do not practice continuously as that would be tiring. We do it in short segments of perhaps twenty minutes with a break of five or ten between. This allows Sultan time without my weight upon his back although he is such a strong fellow that he could endure me for hours (and has done so).

Next week-end is our anniversary. Jerry and I shall have been married for one entire month. It has been very wonderful and terribly busy. I know he has something planned, for each time I try to make some arrangement or another for that day, everyone seems to find a reason that what I hope to accomplish may not be done that particular day. Even mother is in on it. I have managed to make some arrangements, and the cooks are preparing a small cake with two candles upon it. Three layers like a wedding cake. The candles are the bride and groom. One for now and one to grow on. (The cake is a surprise..... it is chocolate inside.)

A day of rest. It seems too good to be true. I sleep in (6 am) and then go down to a leisurely breakfast and delay a little before going to Sultan for practice this morning. I make my usual mistakes and usual corrections, this is distressing. When we finish for the morning (neither of us worked very hard), we trot back to the stables where I remove his saddle and blanket (I am becoming good at this) and rub him down while feeding him a few carrot sticks and apple slices. After brushing him and telling him more about the Keep, I finally leave him and return to the Villa. The remainder of the day is spent with the family. For some reason we all have freedom today. Before the day is out we have engaged in Billiards again with the usual outcome. I am improving, however, and give mother a little competition before she trounces me properly. Oh, well... I wonder if the estate in Torrey Pines has a table? If so, then I shall practice and when I return she may have a worthy adversary.

Another week. My, how time flies when we are having fun. In an hour I shall be going to the Keep to review the progress and ride once again. I have given my bodyguard the weekend off that he may be with his family. I didn't know he was married until just this week and will now try to arrange for him to have more time with his family, at no loss in pay of course. I am to return here before noon so I shall not have much time for riding. The week has been spent in the normal way... Firearms practice, riding practice, the factory and my lessons, Italian lessons as well, and when there is nothing else to do, more riding practice. Finally I seem to be understanding more of the Italian language and occasionally am able to converse entirely in Italian without effort (well, almost).

Tuesday I have a little time and travel to the Keep to see how things are progressing. Sometimes it is embarrassing to be the one to which everyone must defer. We, my bodyguard and I, pull up to find work moving along at a hectic pace. Well, hectic for here. Some of the workmen are arguing with Antonio and also seem to feel my presence is not desired here at the moment but with a few quick words from my bodyguard they comprehend that Antonio speaks for me when it comes to the grounds and that I essentially am the one paying their salaries as it is I who have hired the company for which they are working. Their foreman comes over and guides me to their staging area explaining to me that which is occurring and what they expect to accomplish this week, then showing me the plans which I approved at the office. I show him my signature on the plans, however until I sign next to the signature on the plans he did not understand. Now he realises I am indeed the person I purport to be. I actually am able to understand some of that which he has been saying, much to my amazement. For some reason no one seems to realise I do not speak Italian very well, or they make allowances for my poor accent. My few times saying 'non capisco, per favore' or 'grazie' seemed to be just fine with them and they would repeat when necessary. Eventually I understand the relationship of the plans with the extra changes they need to make in order to accomplish the work and I give my approval with a short 'Cia, mi scusi' and sign the revisions. I look around for a few minutes more before saying 'Arrivederla,' and proceed to the car and back to the Villa.

Wednesday and Friday are repeats of Monday.

Thursday is a treat. Mother and I travel into Milan, shopping for supplies and for the first time I also have decisions to make. "Teddi, it is your responsibility now to order and pay for supplies for the Keep. Besides it is tradition that those workmen who are rebuilding your properties are to be fed as well. The supplies for Antonio have been delivered from the Villa in the past but now you should be ordering your own." This is an unexpected surprise. Mother helps me with the ordering as I have no idea what quantities and nature the supplies should follow. I am finally to find myself ordering about a fifth as much as does mother with a few changes in emphasis. Everything I order is to be delivered to Antonio for storage. Two cooks are hired (temporary with possibility of further permanent status). They shall travel to the Keep in the morning to prepare the morning and luncheon meals and then clean the area before departing for the day. While in town I also purchase several freezers, refrigerators, range tops and ovens to be delivered immediately in order to store and cook the food. Little things make this complicated. We also go to see a wine merchant as wines will be needed to accompany the food at the meals. Then we rush to the architect's offices once again to make hurried arraignments for the immediate construction of a cooking area with appropriate cover for the appliances, cooks, and eating areas. There they bring up the need to connect electricity and water and gas lines to the cooking area. Not to mention the gas storage tanks will need to be replaced to hold more gas in order to support this increased use. See what I mean about complications? Finally everything is completed and out comes the cardboard Eurocard. I am using it so frequently it is beginning to become frayed. Friday the construction crew will erect the cook's "ristorante". For the paultry sum of about 696,000,00 Lire we will have an area in just a day or two where the men may eat and the cooks may work. I hope there are no more surprises. I simply want to have my operation and return here to have my baby and watch my castle (and work, and ride, and, and, and).

Well, it is time to go to the Keep. I have a little exploring to do close to the Keep itself. Additionally I wish to see how functional the new cooking area may be. I may imagine how upset poor Antonio should be. I believe I may placate him by giving him the dozen sample bottles of the fine wines we are having delivered to the Keep. Mother said I did not need to purchase the finest wines, however, those upon which I finally decided are a great improvement over the less expensive wines without increasing the cost terribly. She says I shall be a fine hostess for my guests once the Keep is completed. I care enough to provide more than the minimum for their needs... 'A true Aldoennetti.' I hug her as tears come to my eyes. I am improving, I did not start crying but did sniffle a little.

Antonio is out examining the damage to 'his' grounds as I arrive. Desarei is here and waiting. Antonio and I speak for a few minutes and examine the cooking area. It is actually quite nice. Electric power is being brought in through a new trench and although the floor shall remain dirt there is soon to be a large area covered by a roof with siding on the walls brought down from the roof for a distance of perhaps five feet. Perhaps they intend to completely enclose the area. The new appliances are in already sitting in place with cooking areas and food preparation areas, sinks, soon running water and a water heater. I guide Antonio over to the car where we open the trunk and I indicate to him the box of wine bottles. With a little effort on my part he understands these are for him and thanking me he carries them into his home. A minute or two later I have mounted Desarei and am just beginning to start out when Antonio comes rushing out to me with two wine bottles in his hand. He is saying something rapidly in Italian. He is speaking so rapidly I cannot understand him but he finishes with, "Grazie, Grazie." "Prego, Antonio." I answer, smiling at him as he turns and goes back to his home. I hope that means the wines are satisfactory. The changes here are progressing rapidly. The old kennel is gone, as is nearly all of the wood from the stables, only the stone walls remain to remind me of the shape of that which once had been. The stables are to be altered slightly with one more row of stalls to be added and the wood and ducting for the floors above where we will store the grains and hay for the horses. Not far away there is a small pile of the old wood remaining, soon to be taken away by truck. Many deep new trenches (nearly four feet) lead from a common location both to the stables and to the location of the new kennels, also to one end of Antonio's home. Some piping has been placed in these, but what will flow in them is anyone's guess as we are providing water, gas, and electricity through pipes under the ground. This way the grounds themselves will retain much of the appearance they once held over one hundred years previously. Our only obvious 'new world' additions shall be outdoor electric lighting and the few newer style buildings such as the one in which I shall live for slightly over a year.

I wish Jerry were here with me seeing this. He has not visited the area much. I suppose it is my responsibility and he does not wish to intrude. Still I would like to allow him to see the progress. I desire the grounds to remain much as they have been in the early 1800's. Part of the expense in the electric is the new path it shall take to reach this location from the edge of the property. That and the standby generators which may be used if the commercial power fails. Since the lines shall go underground and the poles and wires blighting the property now shall vanish, we shall begin the illusion of Old World charm. I may just imagine our first ball... Everyone should wear 18th and 19th century costume and the property will have the characteristics it did when it was last occupied. I know, I am a dreamer, an incurable romantic. I am returning to the Villa, soon to learn what surprise Jerry may have for me this day. One whole month. We have been married thirty-one wonderful days. I shall wear my powder blue gown, the mate to the one made of white satin. I shall also wear the sapphire necklace and earrings Jerry has given to me when we were wed.

No one has noticed me arrive so I rush up in my room where I may shower and change. I hope Jerry actually has something special planed or the joke shall be on me. Only four days... I wish I had listened to Jerry and we had located a doctor here in Italy or somewhere nearby in Europe. I don't want to leave him. We could be together until he must go to school. This darn clasp... I have more difficulty with the clasp on this necklace. Ohhh... Drat! Why is it so easy when I am not wearing it? Now, this just slides in there and clicks. All right now, once again... around my neck, now the spring part simply slides into the catch, there! Now the earrings. These are fun, they hang and swing, catching and reflecting blue shafts of light as they rock when I move. Something in the cut of the stones. It is great fun to stand in the sun and move my head very gently casting blue sparkles on the walls and upon Jerry's face when we are close. He tells me I must be careful when wearing these out in public for I may blind someone or cause an accident. I love him so very much, a girl has never been so fortunate as I. Enough, I must finish. I favor these two gowns, as the small pockets for my automatics and magazines ease the wear upon my purses. I may appear to everyone to be dressed as is any other young lady while retaining my weapons close to me. Giorani has instructed me that should I be kidnaped without warning while in one of these gowns I should not immediately produce my weapons but allow the kidnappers to take my purse and decide I am not armed. Later when their guard is down I may shoot them and escape.

OH, THE CAKE! I forgot... I'm ready. Quickly down to the kitchen and learn how the preparations are doing. "Oohh!!" one hand up to my face, and the other to my heart. I am so frightened -- embarrassed. I rushed to my door throwing it open to hurry out and collided with Jerry. I was so frightened, I screamed. "I'm so sorry Jerry. I was in a hurry..." "Obviously. My now, aren't you ravishing?", he says as his arms slide around me and he holds me close placing his lips upon mine. He takes my breath away. Slowly we reenter my room and close the door. We do not reemerge for several hours. The cake all but forgotten. (The world all but forgotten.) "Happy anniversary, my love." he tells me as he helps me fasten my gown and necklace. As I turn to him for one more kiss he hands me a small package. I begin to cry once more as I hug him so hard. I don't want him to ever disappear. He pries me away and gently kisses me once more then sits me upon the bed and once again hands me the package. This time I open it and find yet another necklace and earrings. These are the deepest darkest red rubies I have ever seen. They could be a match for his mother's rubies. The gold lattice containing them is different however. I scream, of course, and rush over to the mirror. Then ask him to remove the sapphires and unclasp my gown. Hurry, hurry, in and change to the Red gown, returning to allow him to fasten it. Now the necklace. Oops, the earrings. There! "Oh, Jerry. They're beautiful." I stand on my toes and kiss him. "Now, my dear, where was it to which you were going in such a hurry?" "Oh yes, I forgot... Please excuse me for a few minutes and then I shall meet you in the library if that is all right?" "Perfectly my love. I shall be waiting in anticipation of your arrival." Jerry makes me smile. I feel warm, loved, and needed. I kiss him gently, rush back to find my matching pumps and wedding ring, then hurry out before we spend several more hours here.

Down at the kitchen I do not see the cake. Asking, I am shown to a large room just off the kitchen where the temperature is cooler. There is my cake, it is absolutely marvelous. It is so beautiful it will be a shame to cut it. I turn and kiss the baker's cheek and say: "Grazie... Grazie," with the evidence of tears just behind my eyelids. I ask again when supper shall occur and learn there are only a few minutes. I manage to impart to them that the cake should be brought out just after supper and then I depart to find Jerry. At the Library I find everyone (including Alphonso and Sophia) seated and, as I enter they all rise and bow or curtsey. "OH no! Please rise, please don't do that." They all begin laughing and Jerry comes to me taking my hand, leading me over to the love seat where he sits next to me. Father hands me an envelope, "Go ahead Teddi, open it." Inside I find a check. It is my first paycheck. It is for 28,500 Lire, and a second check is for 285,000 Lire. I have no idea what that may be in dollars. I remember the one refrigerator cost 12,000 Lire and it was a large commercial unit, so I could purchase many of those with the second check. "Jerry, will this check help very much to pay back that which I spent for the kitchen at the Keep?" "Yes, most certainly." "Good, here! I used your Eurocard and now you may place this into the account against that expenditure. I do not understand how I may earn so much when my salary is only 15,000 dollars per year." Father replied, "Teddi, you earn considerably more now. Besides, you also receive assist commissions, and remember you invented a new product and sold it so you receive not only the assist commission but also the sales commission for that." "Thank-you, father." I smile at Catherine and wave my paycheck. "Now I have a little 'mad money'" I tell her. "Teddi, you have all you may need. You have but to use your card and it is yours." "But mother, I have not earned it. This money is mine, I have worked for it and needn't use Jerry's or your's or father's. This is most probably adequate for many of my needs. I may purchase perfume or clothes, not the expensive gowns of course, but little things I may now obtain without wasting money best held or used for important purchases." Just then Charles enters and announces: "Supper is served, Your Majesty." Even he is in on it, as I scream and chase him from the room while he laughs. As we depart for supper mother replies to me, "Teddi, all of the money is Aldoennettii money. You are an Aldoennetti, so you are as entitled to use from it as any of us. I know you shall use it wisely." "Mother, How should I feel knowing I may spend money most needed elsewhere? The money from my paycheck is mine and if I misspend then only I suffer. If I misspend the Eurocard then everyone suffers." Supper tonight is special. I have forgotten to diet, I must begin again. Now we have finished and in comes the cake, it's candles lighted just after it arrives. The printing in English (I printed it and the cooks copied my printing) saying: "Happy Anniversary, my husband. May we have thousands more." Sophia and mother have a hint of tears, Jerry is holding me close, and Father and Alphonso are smiling. We blow out the candles together, and cut the cake just as we would at our reception. Everyone is surprised, it is a chocolate cake under the white frosting. They all agree however, it is very tasty. I hope the cooks for the Keep shall be as proficient as are these.

Shortly after we have our cake, Charles enters again and whispers to Jerry who rises and holds out his hand for me to accompany him. He leads me out of the dining room with everyone following us as we walk toward the front door where we exit to the landing outside. Down in the driveway is a shiny new red Mercedes the colour reminds me of a candied apple. He hands me the keys and says, "Again, happy anniversary my love." I am in shock. I reach over and hug him and then simply stand there looking at the car. "Are you not going to get in?" he asks me. I walk down and open the driver's door, there is a beautiful red ribbon on the steering wheel. I enter and sit there looking at the interior of the car. It is in cream and red. The car is absolutely beautiful. Fitted into the dash there is a small gold placard which reads 'Her Highness, Teddi on our first anniversary'. Jerry enters through the passenger door and sits, demonstrating to me the features of the car. The top is removable for the summer but is still made of metal for protection when installed as it is now. He pushes the horn which plays a loud but gentle tune of eight notes. It is a four speed and the walls are armored as are the tyres and glass. "If you must escape a pursuer, your car is capable of over 320 KPH, that is about 195 MPH." I cannot imagine driving that quickly on the highway from here to Milan, the turns are much too treacherous. "Also, Teddi, it is capable of extremely tight turns and may maneuver where many other cars are incapable of traveling. Look here. Press this button and in here you may hide additional weapons and ammunition. Now would you bring your purse and licenses and take me for a drive?" I give him a big kiss, and ask that he wait here.

I hurry to my room, find everything including my pistols and magazines and my gift for him then rush down again. "Oh mother, isn't it beautiful? I wish I had more to give to him." I rush past and down to the car. There one of the pistols is placed into the rack with it's two magazines, then close the compartment door once again. I start the car, remove the ribbon and carefully drive off waving to Sophia and Catherine. My path takes us to the town on the property, my driving very cautious. At the town I turn around and we return to the Villa ( not so cautiously). I reach 150 on the speedometer whose highest label is 320. However, Jerry tells me to slow down because I am 'redlining'. He explains how to watch the... other meter which tells me the engine speed. I should try not to remain in the red portion very often nor for very long. If I am 'in the red' it means I should shift to the next higher gear unless I am going to slow down very soon. "You will become accustomed to it in time." This is fun. My own car. Now I may visit the Keep whenever I wish without bothering anyone. And once we are living there I may drive myself to the factory or to town... I continue to drive us around the property until Jerry tells me we must return for we are to fly out to a show. I promptly drive us to the airstrip. This is great fun. He tells me we must return for he must change and I need my wrap before we meet the plane. Before I back out (that is more difficult than it seems), I give him his gift. As he is opening the package I explain: "Mother and I were shopping and when I saw this I knew I must have it for you. I remember you needed another as your last one was damaged. I'm sorry it is not so grand a gift as my jewels and this car." The last sentences coming out as he begins to look at the wristwatch he has found in the package. "It is very accurate and the jeweler tells me it is a very good watch." "A gold Rolex? Yes, it is a very good watch. Thank-you my love. I shall wear it now." He likes it!! We kiss then I turn the car around and drive back to the Villa. This road has a long straight portion which is next to the runway. I actually reached 255 on the speedometer before slowing and... ?? sliding through the first turn. Jerry cautions me not to do that very often especially if the road happens to be wet. I would have been in a very bad accident. That sobers me quickly. I am much more reserved the rest of the way home. There I quickly follow him up the stairs, stopping him with a hug and a kiss, "Grazie my husband. It is wonderful."

Once we are ready to return to the airstrip I beg him to allow me to drive us and he relents. I am very careful, I drive sedately as is proper for a young lady of my standing. Upon reaching the strip I park in one of the few locations where the vehicle will not interfere with gardening or other care. I don't remember how I turned on the headlights... OH! Well, I don't drive that much... We exit the car after raising the windows and I lock the doors. The keys I give to Jerry until I may decide how I shall protect my purse from the edges of them. The aircraft is here and we are soon in the air. Later, after the performance, we go to a... nightclub and watch a comedy act while sipping champagne. I do not like the performance initially, but the longer I watch the funnier it becomes. It is nearly one in the morning and time to go home. We stop for a snack and then look for the airport. I tell Jerry it has moved while we were gone, but he says the taxi driver will find it. He is correct. I think champagne is dangerlous. It fizzes funny at you like a soda and then kicks you when you aren't looking. The pilot knows where he parked the airplane so we walk over and climb the stairs. It's a big plane. Soon we are flying. I am trying to nap on Jerry's shoulder. Before you know it we have returned to the estate and there is a driver waiting for us. I request my car to be moved because I may want it in the morning. I tell them just now I am too sleepy to drive it. In reality I do not remember how to turn on the headlights, but I shall not tell them that is the reason. We had great fun. I think I shall not drink champagne again, it causes a headache. We reach the Villa and fall up the stairs onto the landing. I remove my shoes so it is easier to walk. It is now a long way up the staircase to my room, I think Catherine remodeled while we were gone. We finally reach my room and I whisper to Jerry that I would like him to come inside if no one is watching. Perhaps we may even spend the night together. He chuckles at me and says perhaps a little later. "Come, allow me to help you remove your necklace and gown. I allow him to remove the necklace and realise it is not my sapphires. "These are rubies... didn't I have sapphires on earlier?" "Yes, Teddi but they were dirty so we changed them for these." "OH! These are pretty also. I love you." "Come my love, it is time to go to bed." "Grazie," as I begin to curl up on the floor (he tells me later) but he helps me to reach the bed and then covers me before shutting off the lights and going out.

Oh, the sunlight is so LOUD. I have a terrible headache.

"Good Morning, Daughter. I see we are a sleepyhead again." "Oh, mother, not so loud please!" "Come now, you must... you have not finished undressing from last night! Come, here. Into the bathroom, remove your clothing, come I will help... there now, into the shower." "Aaaiie, that's cold." "Good, it will help." "Help what?" "There now it should begin to warm, is that better?" "Yes, grazie. I believe I may manage now. What time is it?" "Nearly luncheon!" "Oh no." "Oh yes! Come, we shall expect you downstairs as soon as possible." "Yes mother, thank-you for coming up to awaken me." "You're welcome Teddi. Remember, hurry." "I shall, mother." Oh that was cold. Almost luncheon. What did Jerry do to me? Champagne... Never drink it! What did they call that other drink?.. I don't remember, but it looked pretty with those little flowers in it. And that other one had a delicious cherry. I think I need some food. My stomach is all tied up in knots. What are... Oh the rubies. Oh, Jerry you spend too much. Mother forgot to tell me what we are wearing. She had on a dress... I shall wear culottes. Hurry, hurry... My hair is a disaster... There that's better. Purse, purse?.. all my papers, a pistol, keys? What are these key.. My car... oh, that beautiful car. Lipstick, just a hint of colour. Perfume... my watch, wedding ring, gold heart necklace... what else??? Ohh, no more alcohol. My dear God in Heaven, what will it do to my baby? NO more alcohol. I think I am ready. All right now, downstairs and find everyone. OH,.. my poor head.

Where is everyone? "Good day, Teddi." "Good morning, Charles. Where is everyone?" "They are out on the veranda taking luncheon. Shall I tell the cooks to deliver something for you?" "Yes, please... I shall be outside with the family. Thank-you for asking." I manage to find my way outside, I am surprised my head fits down the hallway... It feels ready to explode. "Good morning everyone. Jerry please don't allow me to drink champagne again, nor any other alcohol for that matter. If I survive the day I shall be grand." I steady myself by holding his shoulder as he is sitting at the table and I lean down kissing him on the cheek. Remembering the car, "Jerry thank you for my car, it is beautiful. Oh, and thank-you too for the rubies, I appreciate them very much. I now have jewels to complement my every gown. Thank-you." "I am very happy you are pleased, my love. Come, sit here and I shall pull over that chair and sit next to you." as he gives me his seat and begins to bring another chair. (He is wearing his new watch). "Good morning mother, father. How are you both this morning?" "I am well daughter and seem to be doing much better than are you today. You must not allow Jerry to lead you astray in this manner. You seem ill equipped to deal with it." "Father?" "Daughter. I am concerned for the grandchild. Will he be well?" "I know what you mean. I decided this morning that I shall not drink alcohol again because I do not want to chance harming my child. I want this to be a perfect young man." "Bravo, I had thought I may need remonstrate you, however you care enough to curtail your drinking to protect the unborn. You are indeed a welcome addition to my family." What may I say? "Thank-you, Father... What are we doing today? We are all here and it appears we may have the remainder of the day for ourselves." "We had given thought to going to your castle for a horseback ride and to see the changes you are making," says mother. "Really? I would be so happy... I would like that very much. Jerry has not seen the temporary cooking area which has been constructed and the old kennels are now vanished, the wood removed from the stables. We have lost some of the trees lining the road. They shall be replaced after the work is finished so the canopy will exist again like a long green beautiful tunnel." "You have told us everything and now we need not make the trip." "Oh no, you must see it. The changes and the plans. Besides I would like to see the meadow again before I must depart for the States this one last time. I am excited about the trip, not about going to the States but about coming back here and visiting Jerry in England and working at the factory. About continuing the work on the castle, and helping to manage Jerry's and my affairs so he need not worry and will know they are in good hands while he studies. The most difficult part will be the separation from him while I am recovering from the surgery enough that I may return home, here. I'm sorry, I'm going on and on. I am certain the rest of you must have something to say of greater importance." "I most certainly do," Jerry commented to me, "I love you and you are ravishing." He says the nicest things to me. He causes me to smile a lot and become radiant with joy. Very soon we shall depart for the Keep and I learn that the horses have been sent over much earlier. Had I not slept in, we would have visited several hours earlier. "But mother, how often shall I have a first months anniversary?

We chat as we ride in the limousine. I remember to ask Jerry, "I noticed something, perhaps you may explain it to me?" "And what is that my love?" The rubies, my wedding band, and the emeralds and sapphires as well... I noticed this morning, the gold used in the latticework of the necklaces and of the ring..." "Go on." "Well the gold in the emerald jewelry and that of the wedding ring is far more yellow than that of the sapphire or ruby jewelry, which appears to be more reddish in hue. Why is that?" "I do not know.. It may have something to do with the age of the jewelry perhaps. PaPa?" "I had not noticed. I shall make inquiries and we will learn of the meaning of this." "Thank-you. It's probably some silly thing. I was simply curious. I still like all of it and appreciate the thoughtfulness behind the gifts. Oh, we are here. Look Catherine the trees have been removed along this side for nearly a kilometer, then they switch and remove them from the other side for the remainder of the path. There is even a very short distance where all of the trees have been removed. This is so sad." "I agree daughter, it does detract from the charm it once had." The men look at us like we are both crazy. "At one time when I was here during the week they were using those big machines and removing all of the old kennels, the loss of that history nearly caused me to cry. I'm glad the new kennels shall model upon the old and with the removal of those overhead electrical wires the land will again begin to appear more as it did when the Keep was young. Look, just look at that which they have done here. I know it is necessary in order to accomplish the other work but it will be so long before we may put it right again when the construction is finished." "Here daughter, quit your complaining. Now let us see these new changes you have orchestrated."

We walk around, stopping first at the cooking area, which is now fully enclosed but with some screening to allow air to pass through it. From there we go to the location near Antonio's home to look at the trenches and their pipes running off in every direction (three go toward the Keep itself). Now we mount the horses that we might ride down to the stables to see the progress. New stones have been added and some areas cut through to allow the heat and air-conditioning lines to be installed. The air may not strike the horses directly as it may cool or heat them so much as to sicken them but instead will travel through the central corridor and then into the stalls. Return of the air will occur at the stalls and it shall be forced out to the equipment which shall be in a small shed next to the stables. A large stack of new lumber is nearby, I suppose to be used in the reconstruction of the stables. The trenches leading from near Antonio's home end at the location where the shed will be located. Those trenches have been filled in except at each end. Off just a little in a small clearing, surrounded by trees, we find the stakes marking our new home. This shall be where I and our young son shall spend his first year and possibly where he may be born. Here too is a small area where I may have a garden, and back behind these trees there is another small clearing where I hope to raise the wine grapes. Mother has said I may have some cuttings from their fields.

Now we ride across and up to the location of the new kennels, past the location of the old... now a field of dirt occupied by many of the vehicles and supplies in use in this undertaking. Just another short distance and we are at the location of the new kennels. The land here has been cleared, stakes with little flags are present. Here and there coloured strings may be seen fastened between posts, little paper ribbons flapping upon them in the light breeze. This shall allow a greater separation between the stables and the kennels. Also allowing for separation of the training areas. In this manner, we hope to have no accidents between the horses and the dogs. Now we ride to the Keep itself. My headache is becoming a pounding thing more so with each step Desarei makes. My stomach beginning to feel as though I have been kicked. The workmen have been here, I had not noticed during the week. Much of the wood is gone. Many loose stones have been removed and are laying about waiting, I presume, to be fastened back into their places. The moat has been cleared and patching of the castle walls has begun. In such a short time so much has happened. An army must be working here and all I ever happen to see is a crew of less than ten men. I mention this to Jerry who tells me we are paying for over fifty workers. Now I better comprehend the expense and speed with which the changes are occurring. Piles of dirt await the repairs, to be used to fill in the moat. Most of this dirt probably came from the area of the new kennels as that was once a shallow hill which has now been leveled. We are able to ride around the castle, which seems immense, and find a small part of the moat has already received it's dirt. With all of these changes occurring so rapidly I do not understand why this project shall require three years to complete.

I am surprised how well Father rides. I have never seen him doing it but he sits his horse as though born in the saddle. It is great fun, all of us together. More happy memories. Now we are simply enjoying our ride as we go back into the low hills and to that meadow where Catherine, Jerry, and I had previously ridden. I am so happy we are all riding here. This is a happy memory I shall cherish during the few months I cannot return. Tomorrow I shall go to the factory with Father and Jerry... "Father?" "Yes Daughter, what is it?" "I shall be gone so long recovering from my surgery, may I steal Jerry away for the afternoon tomorrow? There is a trail to the village on the Estate which I want to ride with him and so much more. With only two days remaining I am trying to accumulate happy memories to hold me during my recovery." He smiles and nods his head: "Yes, daughter. These next two days you may spend together. Otherwise I may never hear the end of it." "Ohh.." He turns his horse and gallops away with me chasing him, Jerry and Catherine close behind. Desarei is quite fast, I suppose it helps also that I am probably 50 or 60 pounds lighter than Father. Anyway I catch him and he stops laughing as I lean over and give him a kiss: "Thank-you Father." "You are welcome Daughter. Just protect our young prince while you are gone." "I shall, he is important to me just as are all of you."

We do not return to the Estate but go instead into Milan upon departing the Keep. There we eat supper at a ristorante I have never before seen. In fact, we are in a part of Milan which I have never before seen. The people here seem to know Father and the owners hurry out to greet him when they learn he is here with his family. Father introduces me to them as a princess and Jerry's wife and they both bow to me. I turn red, of course. Not as badly as usual, I suppose that means eventually I will take these introductions in stride. We order (Jerry helps me select my meal, he even explains how to pronounce it but now I don't remember what it was I said). I'm not certain what I had to eat but it was very good. Naturally there is vino, red wine, white wine, and one which is pink; oh not all of them, just the correct one for whatever each of us happens to be eating. No one speaks English here except us of course. I am learning, for some of the Italian I actually understand. Al sangue, rare... "Non, non... Ahh... cotto.. a.. puntino???" "Cia signora, cotto a puntino." "Grazie." See I remembered, I want it medium well. Jerry says:"Bravo," and Catherine and Father smile at me as I smile back. Then I try again with: "Mi scusi, una biechiere latte alfreddo per favore?" I suppose I murdered the language as everyone laughed but the waiter understood and Catherine says something to him which causes him to smile and give me a small bow: "Bravo signorina, Bravo".

It is both a delight and a challenge to make my desires known in Italian. To listen to people talking is wonderful, they make it sound like music. I remember someone said once 'music is a universal language.' I understand now what it was they meant for music is the one major gift we have in this world which everyone may appreciate. Oh, this is wonderful, the food looks so nice the way they prepare it. I still do not know what meat it is I am eating (it melts in my mouth almost without chewing). The pasta is long noodles, flat not round. The sauce, such marvelous taste, but spicy!! Water... Milk... oh, that's better. Everyone eats it as though it is nothing. I think the roof of my mouth will blister. I order insalata frutta, however the fruit salad which arrives is nothing like I expect. The fruit is mixed and in some variety of white dressing, it is room temperature, not chilled, but the taste is excellent. These people certainly know how to prepare food.

We finish our meal and spend a little time simply enjoying the ambiance of the evening before paying for our meals and those of the bodyguard and chauffeur. Now we are on our way home, one day closer to the day when I shall return here to stay. I find it interesting how I am beginning to think of Italy as my home and desire to do what I may to aid in the reparations of the rift between Italy and the allied nations. There is a great love held by these people for one another as well as for others. It should be that which the world remembers of Italy and not for waging war. Certainly the Aldoennetti factories manufacture firearms but they need no longer be used for fighting but for sport and competition. After all, Sultan's heritage is that of a Spanish war horse but he is now used for sport and competition. A gentleman's (or lady's) war. It is so much fun to compete and try to best one's adversary, and having done so then go together for a friendly meal and conversation. Rivalry occurs, bitterness may sneak it's way in, but the competitors join each other to help should one need it.

We are nearly home, we have been talking and I have not the faintest what it may be which we have been discussing. I remember something Giorani once said to me, 'The world is wonderful place, I have seen it, as shall you...' He has been so accurate. These past months have been wonderful, and the world and the people in it are precious gems to be treated with care and honor. It is strange how the country of my birth is no longer where my heart resides. Even when I shall be back for my surgery, my heart shall be here. It is not just Jerry, nor being a princess. It is the love, the care everyone has for others here... even for someone they have never met. This care is rare in the United States, but flourishes here in Italy and in France. I remember the crash course in languages in school and how these are considered to be Romance languages. I think it is not just the language, but it is the attitude of the people.

Well we have stopped and it is time to go into the Villa and retire for the night. I thank Father for the lovely day and wonderful evening, kissing him on the cheek. Then I kiss mother. Jerry and I go upstairs together hand in hand to my... our room. "Jerry... I am not certain how to put this into words, I don't want you to misunderstand. I first desired to travel here because you were to be here and I might never see you again. I had found I liked you very much. Not because you saved me and saved my sanity, but because you showed to me someone could care about my well being and my needs. I began to try to show you that I wished to be supportive to you and that I was learning to care about your needs as well. Love is such a terrible word for it means so much and it means so little. No two people may agree upon all of the ramifications of it's meaning. There is so much I shall never be able to explain, but I wish you to know that for me you are the most important person in the world. After that come your parents, then my parents. Our physical love is only a small part of that which I hold for you. You have not 'bought' my love, for I truly did not understand that you had money and even worried you would be in trouble for using a company aircraft for our trip to Canada. I am, as would be any young woman, overjoyed that you spend money on me and allow me to have so many beautiful things, but they are just things. You as the song goes, 'hold the purse strings of my heart'. I love you. Please don't cry..." as I break into tears also. We spend the rest of the night in the bed holding each other closely. When I awaken I may roll over to discover this wonderful person next to me and move tightly against him only to awaken later to find our positions reversed and his arm draped over me as if to protect me from all danger.

Drat, the alarm clock again! "Please can't we just lay here together for a few more minutes?" "Come Teddi, my love, we must prepare for the day and go together to the factory. There is much to do this morning before we are to take our holiday together." He holds out his hand and helps me to rise from the bed. Wrapping his strong gentle arms around me as we stand together for a few moments then turning me toward my shower he softly swats my derriere and tells me to hurry. He begins to dress quickly to return to his rooms that he may also prepare for work as I go to shower. I think I shall wear my light brown culottes, the green print blouse, and boots for the day. In this way I may be ready to ride as well as look attractive for him all morning. Soon I must have my hair trimmed just a little as it is beginning to become unruly. I must remember to ask Catherine which shop she would recommend. For now I shall have it trimmed when I return to the States. The atomizer is nearly empty, I must ask Jerry where I may obtain more. My perfume I shall obtain in a larger quantity as he likes this scent on me. A simple string of pearls? No, just my heart on the necklace chain. Purse, jacket, both pistols just on the chance I may have an opportunity to target practice this morning. Oh drat, I must tell Catherine I have not been to town to make arrangements for food and other supplies to continue for the Keep during my absence. Perhaps today or tomorrow I shall have the opportunity to do it. There is so much to remember. I must hurry down to partake my roll and then we shall be off. No one here. Drat, am I that late? A small roll and milk, hurry... There now out front, the car is here... "There you are my love, I had thought you had become lost." Jerry quips to me as he exits the front door and comes down the stairs, stopping a few feet short looking at me. "I cannot believe I have found a young woman who knows how to be attractive but not gaudy. You always seem so at ease." At ease? If he only knew how very painstaking it is for me to be continually beautiful for him. But then he will make some little comment which makes it all worthwhile. Jerry sends me back upstairs to pack. We are not going to the factory but shall go to Rome. Today and much of tomorrow he shall 'show me the sights'. This is a wonderful surprise. I hurry as quickly as I possibly may and even now hear the family plane flying in to the airstrip.

We land near Roma and ride a taxi into it's heart. The hotel has a suite awaiting our arrival and as is normal they make a fuss over us. We have little time as our first guided tour departs in only a few minutes. We complete three tours the first day and three the following before returning home so I may pack to go to America. We have seen so much, the Catacombs, the Piazza del Campidoglio and it's classical sculptures, the tomb of St. Celcilia and the beautiful frescoes (unfortunately there has been some war damage which still has not been corrected). Many, many fountains including Fontana di Trevi where I throw a coin over my shoulder into the fountain. Jerry said it was a good throw and I shall return someday to Rome. The Monumento Vittorio Emanuelle II where the Italian Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is located. Mura Aurelie, the wall begun in 271 AD encircling the seven hills of Rome. It is broken here and there through the ravages of time and war. Pantheon, now a church, has an interesting history. I must return here just to see everything again that I may better understand the rich tapestry of history which abounds this city. So many historic churches. We shall go to a bar for a sandwich and wine before returning to the hotel. Then we travel back to the airport and the Estate. I am improving in my use of the language as I read the sandwich list and order my own sandwich and wine (in Italian). I think Jerry is proud of me.

We are at the Estate, I try to tell mother of all the wondrous things I have seen but there is little time remaining. Jerry and I are to go to Milan this afternoon, he will not allow me to drive us to the city, but chases me upstairs (with me screaming happily as he chases me) to pack... All too soon I depart this wonderful place and fly away on the 'morrow. Actual construction of our new home at the Keep will commence the first week following my departure. About the same time that I am to receive my operation. My recovery time and the construction time for the new house are almost the same. Isn't that strange? I must pack this diary, Jerry is at the door awaiting me for we shall be spending the night in Milan. We shall take supper together and see a show (and go to the hotel together). We remain together in Milan until the morning. I hope we do not obtain much sleep. He is a powerful and yet gentle lover. Some day, perhaps, we shall do it in our meadow. There is plenty of time, we intend to have five or six children and I hope we never stop mating.

Now on my way to the United States, I recovered my diary from my case while between planes in England such that I might make these entries while flying to the United States. Having departed England scarcely twenty minutes past, my bodyguard and Jerry are far behind me in Italy. Once at New York I shall change aircraft for the journey to Los Angeles and then on to San Diego. Jerry and I did indeed spend very little time sleeping. He made last night very memorable. I think he wanted me to have something to remember him by until I return and see him in England. When I return in November, he will be at Cambridge. I believe I shall call the Queen and see if perhaps we might visit for a short while during that stay. Drat, did I bring the phone number? Where is my... it is not here... wait, perhaps in the hidden pocket... here it is... did I remember to write the number into this directory. Yes... I have it. Good. I 'cashed' my paycheck, converting it to US dollars for this trip. I cannot believe the amount Jerry has handed to me, nearly $8,000.00. Then too, we withdraw $20,000.00 US so I may have funds to pay for my operation. I hope no one suspects I have so much money on my person.

Oh Jerry! You wonderful scoundrel. I have been daydreaming about last night and writing in my diary. Although I noticed the stewardess coming down the isle with this beautiful bouquet of Roses, I didn't give it a thought until she presents them to me. They had been delivered to the airline with instructions to give them to me after the aircraft has departed. Thankfully I am in First Class or all of the passengers should have heard her say "These were delivered for you, Your Highness." As it is there are over a dozen people here who see her carrying them and overhear her remark. Now they are openly staring to see who the 'Royal' happens to be. I'm certain Jerry did it on purpose. Even the card reads (in Gold Print, no less): 'Her Royal Highness, Princess Winchester-Aldoennetti from her loving admirer and husband, Jerry'. That is not my 'Royal' name but I prefer it. I can neither spell nor pronounce the correct name. "Would you care for some champagne Your Highness?" "No thank-you, and please, would you be so kind as to tell everyone on the crew it is my desire no one refers to me as Your Highness, Princess, Your Majesty or by any other title during the trip? My name is Teddi and that should suffice very nicely if no one minds." "All right Teddi. I think I understand. If you need anything just push the buzzer there and one of us will be here soon." "Thank-you, you are most kind... Gloria?" "That's right. And Amilia is also working First Class." "Thank-you." "You're welcome... Teddi".

Now back to my daydream... oh, yes... Jerry! I miss him, we could have gone on and on and on. I am a very fortunate young woman. He is so loving and caring. He satisfies my needs and more. Our new home is soon to be built and once I return to Italy I shall have my hands full. Dressage, Work, the Keep and property. I believe I may hire several additional workmen for Antonio as soon as most of the work is completed. When all that remains is the Keep itself, there should be little need for that heavy equipment and we may begin to repair the grounds. He has only three workmen now and that is insufficient for the work which is to be done. Eventually we are likely to be able to support as many as eight full time, and during the first two or three years of cleanup may even hire eight or ten more temporary workers. Actually, as I think about it, I believe we shall hire fifteen temporaries and retain the five most productive who understand the needs of the property. Combined with his present three, this would provide the eight he will need. I must remember to discuss the new 'moat' with Antonio when I return. He may have some ideas as to the best fish and appearance to cultivate. I think a meandering stream-like appearance might look best but he has been with the property long enough that he may know a more artistic approach.

"...ess?" "I'm sorry, I was deep in thought. Did you address me?" "Yes, Your Highness. I am your pilot. I thought perhaps you would like to come forward for a tour of the cockpit and meet the flight crew?" (Not really). "Why yes, that would be very nice, Thank-you." (I do, however, enjoy meeting people). I am learning flying is difficult work, they must be constantly alert for there is much to observe and correct in order to successfully travel from England to the United States by air. I wonder if a steamship would require it's crew to be as alert? Gloria brought a little boy into the... 'cockpit' during my tour. He is very excited with all the gadgets and dials the men need to watch and seems to understand what they are saying. I seize the opportunity to thank the pilot and escape with Gloria. On the way back to my seat I stop with her at the forward galley (little more than a coffee station) and receive a small glass of cold milk and a sweet roll. We shall have luncheon in a few hours but I have had nothing to eat since last night and sex always makes me hungry.

I wish I were back in bed with Jerry. Although it was rather nice playing in the whirlpool also. I shall put down my diary and nap until luncheon. With very little sleep since yesterday morning and a long day today I shall be unable to remain awake to make my aircraft changes unless I obtain some sleep between now and this afternoon. The Roses I have given to Gloria to place at the stewardess station. Someone should have them who may appreciate them through the day, something I cannot do if I am asleep. I make a mental note I must call Jerry when I reach San Diego and thank him. Placing my luncheon order and informing them I would appreciate their waking me for luncheon, I nap. The Gold Printed card I have placed in my diary to save as a memento. "Teddi... Teddi, your lunch is here." "What?.. Oh, Oh, Thank-you. I'm sorry, I am very tired. Perhaps after luncheon I shall sleep again until we reach New York. Thank-you, it looks delicious."

"...ness. Your Highness. We have arrived, it is time to disembark. We are in New York." "Ohh... Thank-you, I needed the sleep. Luncheon was wonderful. Oh... the roses. If you would like them you may have them. I have the memory of my husband's thoughtfulness but will not be able to care for the flowers and they shall wilt all too soon. A little care should give you flowers whose beauty is fit for a princess." She protests, saying she is hardly a princess. I simply reply, "Who is to say who is and who is not a princess? Every woman is a princess if she may believe in her heart that is who she is. Please accept them and then I must go and find my next flight." "Your Highness, the boarding personnel have been informed you have arrived and they are holding the plane. If you will go with the young man at the door, he will take you to your next flight." "Thank-you Gloria. I appreciate this." "You're welcome Your Highness, and thank-you for the flowers."

I am taken by car from this aircraft around the building and over to another. En route, the young man makes a stop and checks for my luggage which has indeed been transferred to the Los Angeles flight. At the aircraft, the flight personnel are waiting and I board quickly. Once again I sleep during the flight. Now We are landing at Los Angeles. It is nearly three in the afternoon. I disembark with the other passengers and walk to the next flight. It shall not depart for an hour and boarding time is in about thirty minutes so I have little to do with myself for the moment. Upon checking with the boarding personnel, they have allowed me to enter the aircraft now, well ahead of the other passengers. Soon the others shall arrive, but I understand that I am the only first class passenger continuing to San Diego. It is just as well as there are only four first class seats on this aircraft. I have exhausted my memories for the moment and will put down this diary. Tomorrow I shall contact Dr. Neber's office for it will be September first.

Finally disembarking in San Diego, I shall now call William to notify him that I have arrived and then secure a Taxi for the ride to the Estate. Contact completed, now for the taxi, soon I shall be back in my cottage. I must be spending an enormous amount of time thinking for I have written only these few lines during the drive to Torrey Pines, and yet we have arrived. As is normal I must direct him the rest of the way and once at the gate I pay the driver who places my luggage before the gate. I contact William through the gate phone and he walks down to carry my cases into the great house (rather than the cottage). William now calls me Signora Aldoennetti (I shall need a little time to become accustomed to this) instead of Teddi, and it is now fitting that I shall reside in the great house. As Jerry's wife this is just one of many locations where I must coordinate the staff or allow them to handle the needs of the estate while providing me with the support and information concerning those needs. I am filled with a sense of wonder at the enormity of it all and of the joy of being Jerry's wife... the joy of being! I go to my room for a much needed shower and change of clothes. I believe I shall wear that green, brown, and gold print dress. It looks very nice and with the wide belt makes me appear to be a little thinner. Confound it, wherever did I place those pumps? Ah, here they are. I must admit I stole the idea of this dress from Mother. She has one very similar which looks absolutely stunning on her.

Ann has prepared the most delicious pasta salad for supper. The vegetables are quite good also. The meal served with a red wine, at my request. Despite my stay in Italy, I still am not much of a drinker, although I have come to enjoy just a little wine with my meals, This wine is good but strong. I pause and think of how strange it is to be the Signora here. It is difficult for me to realise this is my husband's property and one of our homes. As Jerry's fiancee I could go to the kitchen and chat with everyone as friends but now I am expected to remain segregated and majestic. This will never do. As I detest eating alone I decide my future meals shall be taken in the kitchen where I might have someone with whom to converse. It is lonely sitting in this enormous empty dining room. I rise from the table carrying my dirty dishes into the kitchen: "Hello Ann, that was a wonderful meal, thank-you." She is standing there staring at me. "Ann? It's me, Teddi! Remember I was here in the emerald green gown and Tom took me to the airport to fly to Sacramento? Jerry's fiancee?" "Teddi?" "Yes, Teddi. Ann, Jerry and I may be married now, but cannot we girls still be friends?" "Do you really wish to lower yourself to my station, Teddi?" "NO. I wish to learn to fly an airplane. We are both human beings are we not? We are both women. You have had children? I am pregnant and shall have children. What law says we cannot be friends? When I was last here and staying at the cottage I brought my purchases here to show to you. I cooked meals for my Jerry after talking with you to learn the preparation of some items. We, I thought, were becoming friends. Must I move back into the cottage in order to associate with you?" She smiles, "No, you don't. Welcome back," as we hug each other. "Ann, tomorrow I must check in with Dr. Neber and then I think I shall go shopping. Would you be so kind as to come with me?" She pauses for a few moments and looks worried but finally says she will accompany me. We chat the rest of the evening as she cleans up around the kitchen. I dry the dishes as she cleans the stove top and cutting area. About nine o'clock I retire but do not sleep well. I must have William move my things back into the cottage so I may rest. Besides, I cannot be negotiating the stairs for many weeks following my surgery.

The following morning I try contacting Dr. Neber's office shortly after eight but the answering service takes the call saying the office will open at ten o'clock today. After alerting Ann and making plans to depart the Estate about a quarter of ten, I write these entries in my diary. Tom shall drive us to Dr. Neber's office and then the few blocks to downtown La Jolla where Ann and I shall go window shopping. I have asked William if there is anything Ann has said she would very much like to own and he mentioned a few items. I shall do the same with her for William. They will have given each other gifts which I shall purchase. I have told them (separately of course) to consider it to be a bonus of sorts. After all, they do work very hard for the little recompense they receive. We arrive at the office just as does the office staff and I check in. They accept my information, the reminder that I am pregnant and request for hospital check-in information. After asking my phone number we are finished. Ann and I depart for downtown La Jolla. She is stunned. The few articles she had thought were so nice are in the shopping bag she holds upon her lap as we are returning to the estate. She did not want me to purchase them, but I explain that William wanted to give them to her and it was a bonus they had well earned. In another bag upon the floor are a few items she wishes to give to William. Also in the bag are a number of small envelopes, one for each of the members of the staff. I place them into the bag after instructing Ann that they are to gather all the staff, pass out the envelopes and open them together. Unknown to them, each envelope contains ten one-hundred dollar bills, a gift from Jerry and myself. Hopefully this will help make the coming holidays a little more joyous for them all. When we arrive I learn of a message from Dr. Neber. I am to enter the hospital Sunday the fourth, the surgery shall occur Tuesday morning. I am frightened and I am excited. The anticipation of future matings with Jerry and the birth of our children is exhilarating. To be a mother, to suckle each small infant at my breasts, watch them grow and mature. To know they are a product of the love Jerry and I hold for one another. The work waiting for me in Italy, our Keep, the Dressage, Mother and Father, my new friends, all this and more resides in my future. 'He maketh me to lie down in green pastures... He restoreth my soul.' God has been very good to me.

During the time Ann and I were in town, at my request, William moved my items from the master suite of the great house and down to the cottage. I now deliver my recent purchases to that location. It is much as I remember. Obviously someone comes to clean frequently for there is not a speck of dust or dirt to be found. Everything is in order but I shall need to purchase food, beverages, and many sundries to allow for my extended stay during the period of time I am unable to go out. I know I could easily send someone but I still need to have that illusion of self-sufficiency. Friday and Saturday I spend obtaining those few items which I discover are missing plus some perfume and makeup. I remember the fragrance which Ann had thought was so nice and purchase a small bottle for her. When I present it to her she makes a great fuss. I think she was embarrassed.

It is Sunday morning. I have more butterflies in my stomach than were I to be going to a competition. I check into Scripps hospital and am given a private room where I may see the ocean rolling in. I shall be here for about a week or two and then home to the estate for several more weeks before being allowed to venture out (carefully). Dr. Neber comes by and checks with me. The surgery has been scheduled for seven am Tuesday, and he tells me that Dorothy will be by sometime today to see me. She will also be present Tuesday for the surgery (to hold my hand). I wish Jerry were here. I remind Dr. Neber once again that I am pregnant, "about seven weeks. Nothing must harm my young prince". He said that will not be a problem. I pray the surgery does not hurt my son. Oh, yes... I pray... Jerry and I have gone to church together many times now, and the first two sermons I heard both seemed to be aimed directly at me. I think I am forgiven. Here in the states we had simply gone to services, but when we all went in Italy Mother said I must take a shawl and cover my head while at the service. She told me why but I simply don't remember at the moment.

Hospital food is not very good. Dorothy did stop by and we chat for perhaps an hour. This time I have a picture of Jerry to show to her and of Mother and Father Aldoennetti. I show her my wedding band, and one of Jerry's photos of me on the horse he gave to me as a wedding present. There are a few photos of my Castle and of me at the range and even one of the Queen and I together at the Villa. I don't know how he managed to obtain that photograph but it did resolve a lingering doubt Dorothy had about my actually meeting the Queen. I tell her that the Keep is in desperate need of repair but in two or three years it could be inhabited, she shall then have a standing invitation to come stay with us. Perhaps if the timing is right we may even have the Queen staying with us at the same time. When I tell her once again I am pregnant, she is very excited for me. After she departs I write these entries and am now wondering what to do with myself. A hospital, unfortunately, is not terribly conducive to accomplishing anything but sleep (which I suppose is good if you are a patient). Upon entering the hospital I paid (up front) for the private room and all of the anticipated charges plus about fifteen percent for 'emergencies or incidentals'. They become terribly interested in assisting someone when cash is being presented especially when it is nearly $14,000.00. A Father has come by the room and we pray. He takes my confession, and when I ask, consents to come by my room to pray with me before I go into surgery Tuesday.

It is Tuesday morning, about six o'clock and a nurse has come in to give me an injection. She says it will relax me and help prepare me for the anesthetic. There were many questions and Dorothy finally arrived. The Father has arrived, I'm so glad they could be with me. It is difficult to pray so he is doing it alone. I am so sleepy, I suppose that is good since I did not sleep well all night. She said something about the Father... I think sleepy now to rest. It the shot sleepy is making' cannot right well thinking - funny holding smiling hand and worry not?

Saturday the Tenth.

Everyone tells me the surgery has been successful, and I am on many pain suppressants. I have much discomfort and have been told not to move about should I be able to help myself. The telephone has been removed from my room so I shall not attempt to move to answer it and cause complications. Dr. Neber has been by everyday but I have not seen Dorothy. Today I ask him to have them return the telephone. When I ask about Dorothy he tells me she has been very busy at the office. I am unable to sense the young prince and have repeatedly asked Dr. Neber if all is well. He tells me that everything is 'just fine' (this is his normal cryptic answer, the world could be on fire and he would say 'just fine'). I must be doing well as he says I shall be able to depart in five or six more days provided I am very careful moving about. I suppose the drugs must be affecting my ability to detect my child. I ask how much longer I must be taking the pain medications and he suggests three or four weeks. Once I am walking the pain will begin to subside. I am very concerned about the effect of the medications upon my child. He has told me not to worry, they cannot harm him. Something is not right, I do not know what it is, but something is not right and I tell him of this feeling: "I may no longer sense my baby. Something does not feel right. I am frightened Dr. Neber.. Please, Please call my Jerry. I need him most desperately."

Wednesday, the Fourteenth,

My biological parents have come by. Father says "You will be able to come home soon, Ted". Mother just looks unhappy. I am shocked and have become extremely agitated. The hospital staff will not say anything to me other than the operation was successful. I have repeatedly requested to make a phone call and have said I want to see Dr. Neber. Finally, Thursday Dr. Neber has come. I tell him I need to make a phone call and he tells me I must rest and not become agitated. I pointedly ask him "Am I yet a woman? What have you done to me?" He pauses and then goes to the door and closes it turning to look at me with a very unreadable expression on his face: "Ted, your father signed paperwork stating he wanted you to be a male. As you are a minor we had no alternative but to follow his wishes." "But what of my marriage, what of my birth certificate. My birth certificate indicates he is not my father and, as I am of age, entitled to make my own decisions. What have you done to the young prince who was growing inside me? I no longer feel him. Have you murdered him?.. Have you murdered me?! Put me back. Make me right again. I am Teddi Diane Winchester- Aldoennetti. I came here for a surgery to allow me to safely bear the young prince and other children. What of them? What of me? Do my needs and desires and dreams mean nothing? You have destroyed my life..." "Ted, relax. Relax, or I shall be forced to give you something. Nurse, Nurse! Bring 2 cc's of..." "No! Give me back my life! You have murdered me. You have murdered my baby. No! No shot. Noooo! Noooo... nooo..." "Keep him sedated for a few days. We cannot allow him to move around or the stitches will pull out or worse." "Yes Doctor." "please... please... call Jerry. call my husband. call Estate... help... me... help my... baby..."

I was returned once more to my prison, the house on Waverly Avenue. From there I call the Estate and speak with William, informing him of the phone number and the urgent need to speak with the Signore. If he returned my call I was never told of it. I remain in my room at the house these last two weeks, Lucy our cat occasionally sneaking in to see me. Finally I am to return to school (against my wishes). During this time I have read my diary, remembering details and writing this accounting. Summer is over, school began several weeks ago, and finally the body has healed enough that I may attend without serious injury. It is necessary that the schedule be light so I may not rush about going from class to class. I have a permanent tardy slip such that I may be late arriving to each class. It is valid three more months affording me some recovery time. I do not attend gym classes and although Jerry is no longer here, I have not seen or been disturbed by that ogre who raped me, or by any of his friends. Someday, should I live, maybe I'll have the courage to read this again.

P.S.

Oct. 12, 1955

A registered letter has arrived from some company saying I have won a trip, all expenses paid to Italy for 20 weeks (about half a school year). Since school started 5 weeks ago, and I began two week ago, Mother and Father will not allow me to travel. The following week-end a limousine pulls up, the driver knocks on our door asking to see me. I recognize him. Giorani has changed somehow in this short time, more subdued perhaps. We sit in the car and talk for perhaps forty or fifty minutes. He tells me should I come with him now, I may be Jerry's wife, no questions asked, and any surgeries I need would be provided to help me change completely. I thank him for everything he has done for me in the past. And for all he is trying to do now, but tell him... I,.. she.. they have told me the female part is dead. He looks at me strangely and says, "But I have for you the blessing of the Signore. He desires you to come home with Jerry and himself. Alphonso and Sophia are badly injure due to accident and Jerry say he not want anyone but you to help him. I even have your little toys, the automatics," he shows them to me along with the passport, permits, licenses, "and Jerry has not been same since you go away for operation. He studies, he works very hard. He has no interest in women, except one. He has big paintings from photograph of Miss Winchester riding her horse over bridge. They are hanging in his room at University and at Villa. Please allow drive you to Estate. You may talk. The Signore ask you come and Your Jerry is waiting for you. Please... come! Please talk."

I look at him sadly, tears draining from my eyes as though a rainstorm has entered the car, even as he fumbles for a handkerchief. For Giorani those sentences were like the writing of the Declaration of Independence. I reach out and accept the papers, as he begins a smile of relief. It had been a very good and very bad time in my life. With tears in my eyes, I hand them back, "You don't understand, Giorani. Miss Winchester is dead. I have wanted more than anything else in this world to return to Jerry. But she is dead. The doctors have done their work. They removed the female and they killed her baby. She could never have another child. These past two months and during the next two years, I have and shall receive many treatments which will slowly make a male out of this body and which have killed the woman. They have said it is too late, there is nothing that could be done to make me female again. Please tell Jerry that when Signorina Winchester was finally located she was dying, and she wants her Jerry to find another woman who will love him, work with him, and have his children as much as she wanted to do it." I exit the car, tears in my eyes. I could see tears in Giorani's eyes and on his face as well. "Please, Giorani, please tell Jerry I... she loved him very much, those few months were the happiest of my... her life. And please tell his father 'Sir, when I first met you I was extremely apprehensive. However, you were such a gentleman, you quite allayed my fears and I have found your company to be very pleasant. You made a young woman very happy, you recognized her to be a Lady.' He will know what it means. And Giorani," "Yes, Signorina?" "Miss Winchester thanks you very, very much for all your help. She has great respect for you." "Signorina Winchester, may God smile upon you. You are great Lady." "And may He smile upon you and your wife, Giorani, forever."

Never did I see any of them again. I had not realised until now how alone I feel. I purchase postage from the school offices and mail a belated birthday card to Jerry, his birthday the 12th of October. I did not sign it, simply wrote the word 'Love' and sealed the envelope. A few tears found their way onto the card before I could wipe them from my eyes.

The pain of reading this diary now inhibits further writing, besides BOYS seldom maintain a diary.

P.P.S.

Early in 1956, one Saturday morning, everyone is out and I am sitting at home thinking as I do, frequently, now. The mailman knocks on the door and when I answer, I learn I have a registered package for which I must sign. In it I receive a notice my two horses are now stabled at Scripps Ranch. Also in it I find my emeralds, the small heart and chain, passport, and a few papers. Inside also are three keys; the gate, the cottage, and I presume the great house at La Jolla Shores. I hide everything in my dresser and the following week-end very gingerly ride my bicycle over to the Estate. The pain remains as yet with heavy exertion so going uphill was so difficult I must walk, but then I may ride downhill. I open the gate and go to the cottage where I open the door and enter. So many wonderful memories are here. The clothes hang in the closet just as they had when the young lady would come and dress for her Jerry. A layer of dust is upon everything, just enough to notice but not enough to say no-one comes here anymore. I do not have the courage to go into the main house. I went so far as the door and put in the key but did not open it. I cannot ever give children to Jerry and without them I cannot face him. Riding my bicycle around the grounds, I discover no one is here. Now I return to the front door and open it. As I tour the house, again I find a fine layer of dust. No one comes here now. Even the phone is disconnected. I exit and lock the door. As I reach the gate and am unlocking it a security vehicle pulls up. He asks what I am doing here and I tell him I was reminiscing and he could call and ask if someone named Winchester was permitted to use their keys and examine the grounds. He checked his clipboard and said yes a T.D. Winchester appears on the list of authorised persons. "Sorry to have bothered you. Do you need a ride?" I say no, I shall ride my bicycle. Then as an afterthought, "Could you please send a message to the Aldoennetti family for me?" When he said he would pass it to his superior to be sent on, I tell him simply to send this short message to Signore and Signora Aldoennetti and to Jerry: " 'I'm sorry, I should have followed your advice and remained in Italy. Love you all. Good-bye.' Here is their phone number should you need it." He thanks me and drives away. I close the gate and ride home... no, I ride back to my prison. One day several weeks later when I return from school I find most of the papers and pictures scattered about my room, torn to shreds. Grazie, dear brother. I salvage the birth certificate, the photo of me from the ripped up copy of LOOK, and the emerald necklace. The earrings have vanished as have the keys. Jim would not tell me what he had done with them. If he has done his normal stunt then he flushed them down the toilet. I could have killed him Fortunately I did not. I manage to make arraignments with Arleen to care for my horses as I cannot, I shall give the necklace to her by way of compensation.

I realise now the body may live but the person, my soul, that which was me...

has died.

 

This story ©2003 in total and in part. No portion of this story may be published without the author's prior concent.

Author's note: I have finally come to grips with my emotions concerning all of this (I hope). I do not presently have anything written for the remaining period of my life but shall attempt to use my poor memory and pick up where this has left off. All that I have endured through to December of 2002. Then on to the present. Thank-you for reading and I hope this will help you to influence your parents allowing you to follow your path rather than theirs. God Bless.. Teddi

  

  

  

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