Teddi Dianne's Diary

by Teddi Dianne Seibert-Aldoennetti

© 2003

 

(The innocent (?) years)

chapter V

London is such a dreary place. I always have thought of England as sunny and bright but the sun has been up for an hour or two before we land somewhere near to London, and the sky is overcast and it looks to rain. The Signore decided we shall stay the day and depart for Italy on a very early flight tomorrow. This will allow time for Alphonso, Jerry, and himself to visit one of the factories they own here and to see a few people whom they know. Of course, Sophia and I have little to do so we visit a museum and have lunch at the restaurant on it's roof. Most of the bodyguards have gone with the men, with only one remaining with us. Apparently he is in Alphonso's employ as he has been spending his time with Sophia and her husband and now remains with Sophia. I suppose he wonders why he need stay with us since he acts as though I do not require protection. With Sophia translating, he asks to see my pistol and then shows me his. Why do all these men carry cannons? My 7mm has protected me quite well when I needed it. But the men carry 11mm, and anything smaller is just a backup weapon. The barrel on mine is much longer in relation to the bullet size and I suppose that should mean something to me, however I am not sufficiently conversant with firearms to understand these things as yet. I tell him of the demonstration and my groupings at 23 meters (75 feet). I want to practice at 50 meters but have not the opportunity. Perhaps once we arrive in Italy it may occur. He is saying there is something special about my automatic but even with the translation I do not comprehend what it is that is special.

Lunch! Lunch is excellent. I hear later that the restaurant is a favorite of the British upper class. I certainly understand how that could be true. When I ask that our bodyguard join us at lunch, he is stunned. I thought perhaps the pricing might be such that he did not have the money to pay so I treated everyone. Jerry has given me a Eurocard (No name appears on the card, the bearer is assumed to be the lawful holder, I suppose). He has given me permission to use it anywhere in Europe saying: "Do not be concerned about the cost of anything." I use it to pay for our lunch and Sophia says she has never seen one. I check with the Maitre-D' (before we enter for lunch) who has seen one fortunately. He informs the cashier that it is a completely acceptable method of payment and at the time we are to pay he indicates for her the manner by which to process the transaction. It was upon entering I learn, as a rule, only the famous or near famous possess such cards as yet. Upon seeing the card he asks our names. When Sophia says Aldoennetti and I say Winchester he enters them into a little booklet just before we are conducted to our table (very quickly). I ask why it is he has placed our names into the booklet and he replies the management wishes to know who of the "rich or famous" have taken a meal at the establishment. After lunch the bodyguard thanks me several times until Sophia is able to inform him that we both appreciate his remaining to protect us and this is simply our way of saying thank-you.

Sophia informs me of a "most wonderful clothier" located nearby so we are off to visit. Many of her clothes have been tailored by this establishment. As I am interested in the possibility of obtaining another gown similar to the green one I presently own I agree and we are off. I shall determine that they may be willing to prepare one for me. Upon our arrival they do not appear to be terribly interested in preparing something for two women who have simply "walked in" off the street. They change their minds, however, when Sophia gives them her account number and explains that we are passing through on our way to Italy and hadn't the time to ring them up first for an appointment. Once they decide they shall prepare a gown for me, half an hour is spent taking my measurements. Then perhaps two hours more are spent looking at many, many pictures in several books to select the style I desire (and which they will consent to prepare for me). "That style would not be flattering for you. This style would be just fine in blue but not in white." Final decision by Sophia and I is the selection of the materials and colors. She recommends we have two gowns prepared, one in Red or near red tones, and another in White (she informs them I shall be marrying soon).

She orders a similar gown in Green and Gold and charges it to her account. I use the Eurocard and discover the expense after I sign the receipt. They present the billing with the total covered. One may not see the total until after the transaction has been conducted. Each of my gowns costs about $2,900.00 U.S., I am shocked! Sophia's gown I learn will cost about $3,500.00 U.S. I have made my purchases but I do believe I shall price things before I purchase in the future. Of course, once they received the Eurocard they happily process the sale (it is like paying cash 'up front'). "The gowns will be ready in four to five weeks, Miss". Sophia gives him the Villa's phone number such that I may be notified of their completion. Until that moment he has not asked my name but has simply checked the records for Sophia's measurements and confirmed them. Now he needs my name to record my order and measurements. All I need do any time I may require a new gown is telephone and they may prepare the gown using the information from my file.

Upon informing the gentleman I am Teddi Diane Winchester, he looks up, surprised, and says, "Your father was here just a few weeks past. Will you be seeing him? His order has just been completed." "You must be mistaken," I respond, "my father, mother, and sister are all deceased. My sister died when we were eight and my parents in an accident when I was but sixteen." This very event was partially the reason Jerry had picked this identity for me. As both children seemingly had died in Europe eight years after their births, with no others having been born, then the parents perished mysteriously when the children would have been sixteen years of age, this produced a perfect cover for me. I now have an identity which may withstand investigation and there are no ties to other immediate relatives which could cause unforeseen problems. My only family member would be my twin, Cheryl Elizabeth who died at eight.

He locates the order and confirms his statement: "A gentleman from 'The Colonies' using the name 'Winchester' purchased several suits paying in cash. He is in his 40's and I assumed he was your father. Perhaps another relation?" "Very possibly, the name 'Winchester' is not that common. Did he give a local address?" "No Miss. He said simply that he would be returning in a few weeks time, which would be about now. That is why I presumed you were his daughter and had just returned to London". I made a mental note to tell Jerry about this. I may have an 'uncle' of whom I was unaware. We return to the hotel, check for messages from our men and go on to our rooms. I suppose after seeing all the expense of lodging, travel, and the entourage; two gowns totaling $5,800.00 U.S. will not be too out of order? I think I shall be ill.

The men return very late that afternoon while I had been embracing a short nap. Jerry walks in very quietly, leans down and kisses me (allowing the door to the hall to remain open, of course). I start awake and upon seeing him, wrap my arms around his neck holding him close as we continue to kiss. He assists me in rising and then I hug and kiss him again. "Oh Jerry!," I exclaimed as I remembered the gowns, "I think you had best care for this," I say as I remove the Eurocard from my purse. "I find it far too easy to become too extravagant with it." He looks at me sternly saying: "'Too extravagant'? How extravagant is 'too extravagant'?" I immediately become very apprehensive. I have never spent any of Jerry's money before today. He has chosen to spend money on or for me but this day was the first I had made the decisions. "I'm sorry Jerry. I should not have purchased the gowns, but I so want to be beautiful for you. Perhaps we may cancel the order. I had no idea of the expense until after it had been paid. I promise I will not do it again. If I had but known the cost I should not have purchased them." He is laughing now, "Sophia has already told us, my love. You must be careful, she will lead you astray. Put the card back in your purse. She knew you were upset when she saw your face after the purchases. She said it was all her fault..." "That's not true. I did not need to make the purchase. She did not force me... Wait until you see them though, they are beautiful." Now he is laughing more loudly, he gently swats my behind and says: "There, now you have been sufficiently punished. But please Teddi, be more careful." "I'm sorry Jerry. I will NOT make that error again... OH, Jerry! Did she mention there is someone visiting here in London who is named Winchester?" "Yes, my love. And she also told us that she has learned your parents and sister are dead. She is very sad for you. It is not a problem. Even should he meet you, you will not remember him or your parents as you were alone in European schools until you were sixteen, your sister having died when you were but eight, when you nearly did also. You have been supporting yourself since the death of your parents, having had no contact with any other family." "Jerry," I whisper as I put my arms around his neck, "I love you." "And I love you, Teddi." We kissed very long and VERY lingering. "Come now, PaPa has said he wishes us all to visit an old friend who lives nearby. Do you ride?" "Horses? I have never, but I would like to learn. May I wear these clothes or should we purchase some others?" "You look beautiful and may ride very well in these. If these are damaged, I will have them replaced. But for now let us go join the others and then down to the automobiles."

Five of us and ten bodyguards fill the three large limousines awaiting us outside the lobby doors. Jerry, myself and three bodyguards enter one vehicle, while Sophia, her husband and three more enter another vehicle, with the Signore and four in the third. Our little cavalcade then departs the hotel going to an Estate located who-knows-where. I am rapidly learning that we women are not expected to participate in conversations nor make decisions. We are simply to be pretty ornaments for our husbands to use to influence people. 'Look at me, I am intelligent and masculine enough to handle difficult business affairs plus satisfy a pretty wife'. Jerry and I will needs have a conversation about this, I do not intend to be prevented my participation in conversations nor my potential contributions to same. "Jerry, I think we had best have a little conversation!" "I'm sorry my love, but I must attend the meeting. I will have Giorani present you and Sophia to the stables and perhaps you may all go riding together." "JERRY!" "Later", he say as he quickly kisses me, turns, and follows his father and brother. As he enters the house, I fume. "Giorani," I call sweetly, "may I speak with you for a moment?" "Cia Signorina," he says as we walk toward each other, "What may I do for you?" "Please call a taxi for me, I wish to return to the hotel." "You do not feel well, Signorina? Do you need doctor?" "I'm fine Giorani. I simply wish to return to the hotel, immediately." He gives me a puzzled look and turns his head to see if the Signore or Jerry are available but they have already entered the residence. "Dear Giorani, please don't question my request. If you do not have any information save I instructed you to call a taxi for me then you cannot be in trouble. If I order you to call a taxi, must you not comply with my request?" "Cia... Signorina. But I think the Signore will not be happy." "And I am not happy to be an ornament. I may think for myself, I am capable of working, and to ride out all this distance simply because Jerry thinks I may be a pretty ornament to be standing around does not make me happy. You at least have something you may do to occupy your time. Please Giorani, I do not wish to order you to call a taxi to return me to the hotel." He smiled: "Perhaps if it were order I would act and not make decision." "I understand dear Giorani, I do not want you to be in trouble." As we were conspiring someone walked up to our party and began speaking with Sophia who then announced to us: "Teddi, we have been invited inside. Do you wish to come?" I thanked Giorani canceling my request and walk over to join Sophia as she starts for the entrance.

We are shown to a large room where, in a moment, a Lady enters. "Brittani! How are you?" Sophia exclaims as they meet and hug one another, "Have you quite recovered from your fall?" "Oh my, yes. It was not all that serious with the brush and all. I was more shaken than injured but you know how doctors may be at times." "Cia, Cia. They do tend to be over-zealous. Brittani, I have someone here you simply must meet. Teddi come here, Brittani is an old friend and I wish you to meet her. Teddi this is Lady Brittani Farnham. Brittani, this is Teddi Winchester, the celebrity of our entourage." My face did not turn scarlet (perhaps I am doing better) but I still felt very warm with the unexpected introduction. "Celebrity? And what did she do to deserve that introduction?" "She saved herself from an assassin, and killed him. She has agreed to help me to learn to protect myself. Even now she goes around as though nothing has happened but I know she was also injured, I saw the blood on her gown and the bandages to protect her wounds." "Where were her protectors? They should be fired." "Oh no, they were wonderful. It was my own fault for not paying attention." I immediately replied. "When it started, I was in their path and they could not shoot, so I kicked at his revolver and tripped which made it difficult for him to shoot me as I shot him with my pistol. My bodyguards came instantly, preventing any others from shooting." "A trap! You stopped the man from killing you after you entered a trap. My young woman there is much more to you than meets the eye." This was definitely getting out of hand: "All I want to do, Lady Brittani, is forget it happened. It is not a pleasant thing to take a life, even of an assassin. I am very grateful my protectors were there. I was in no condition to protect myself from any others." "My dear, you have accomplished that which many of us only hope we will be capable of doing. To aid in your own protection is a remarkable thing especially for one so young." "Lady Brittani, if you don't mind, I would even now rather forget it happened. It is not a pleasant thing to remember." "I understand. I would however, with your permission, like you to remember for just a short while longer. I wish to introduce you to my husband." "Only if he will not take it any further. Please?" "Teddi you are as modest as you are brave. Here, both of you come with me."

She leads us back out to the entry hall as I glance at Sophia who just smiles and shrugs her shoulders. We are led down just a few doors and asked to wait for a moment as she enters the room from which we hear the men's voices emanating. Sophia turns to me and says: "Soon you shall be a celebrity of all England." "Oh no," was all I could think to say as the doors open once again and Lady Brittani and a gentleman I presume is her husband appear in front of us. I thought I would faint. This has gone MUCH too far. He says hello to Sophia and they chat for a moment and then I am introduced to him. He announces he has read about me before we arrived, "So you are the 'Young Warrior Queen' who fights her attackers and wins." "I beg your pardon?" I reply. "That is what the newspapers are calling you, my dear," says Lady Brittani. "Oh No!" I repeat once again of my need to simply forget it has happened, and am told I should probably strengthen my resolve a little ('hold a stiff upper lip' don't you know) for "like it or not, young lady, you are a bit of a celebrity. The attempt upon your life in 'The Colonies'," (does no one believe we are a separate country?) "has been reported in the papers here in England and I would imagine in Italy as well." "Ohh, Noo," I sigh deeply, hiding my face in my hands. There will be no escaping it for days, perhaps weeks. "Here now Alphonse, you didn't mention she is also modest." I think I need lessons to prevent me from turning beet red at the drop of a hat. I am so thankful they did not recognize me at the restaurant or the clothier. After the introductions we are invited into the room with the men and we ladies remain for the duration of the meeting. Brittani, Sophia, and I actually have pertinent things to add to the conversation (the men are amazed, of course). We finally return to the hotel and I retire to the seclusion of my room. We are to rise very early tomorrow as our flight is to depart at six. I prepare my luggage and clothes for tomorrow (the green blouse and culottes which I have not yet had a chance to wear), luxuriated in a much needed perfumed bath and thankfully received a peaceful nights sleep as our rising time of three-thirty shall come much too soon.

With the morning comes a knock on the door. I confirm I am awake. Dressing quickly, I am now ready to depart for breakfast and it is but four o'clock. Sophia and I have adjoining rooms this time as there is no suite but a series of rooms all on the same floor with bodyguards at one end and next to the elevators, with Sophia and I sequestered in the middle. 'Warrior Queen' or not, the need to protect their women is still a great instinct on the part of the men. I call Jerry's room to tell him I am ready. "Pronto!" I hear, pausing a moment before inquiring: "Jerry? This is Teddi." "Teddi! Good morning my love, how are you doing? Ready for breakfast?" "Yes. I am dressed, ready and missing my good-morning kiss." He laughs, "You are marvelous. I never know what you are going to say, but it is always delightful. Stay in your room, I'll be over in a few minutes and we will go downstairs and secure tables." Waiting again. Very soon a knock at the door; "Teddi, it is Jerry." I throw open the door, catching him off guard (indeed), my arms around him, kissing him as he sputters finally giving in (he really enjoys it). One of the bodyguards I know (but simply do not recall his name at the moment) is also standing there. He smiles as he watches our performance. After bouncing back into the room to retrieve my purse we three ride the elevator downstairs. The restaurant is not open that early, but there is a 'coffee shop' (a small restaurant, the actual restaurant is a palace) where we arrange for seating for our party. The waitress begins to fill water glasses as their young men move a few tables closer together so all in our party may converse without shouting. Jerry asks me to sit and then sits next to me. I give him little choice as I select my seat at one end of a row, he could either sit next to me or across from me but I am on the end. In just a few minutes everyone arrives and we all study our menus. The waitress appears and the orders are taken, a minute or two later she returns with the juices, coffees, and other beverages then she is off again. The service is superb, but I would expect no less as we are nearly the only customers at this time of the morning. The only others in the coffee shop are two gentlemen who entered moments after Jerry and I. They are sitting off on the other side of the entryway drinking their morning coffee and waiting as are we for the morning meal. (Oh, I know I need to diet.) Again, two huge slices of ham, hashed brown potatoes (enough to feed an army) and sweet cakes which I chose not to eat. Jerry happily received most of my second slice of ham, and the cakes were passed around to anyone who wanted them. "No, I'm not ill. I feel just fine. I simply do not eat a lot of food. Pregnant? Of course, I'm not pregnant. At least not until after Jerry and I are married" as I cast a glance out of the corner of my eye at Jerry who nearly chokes on his potatoes. The other men laughing at his reaction. Sophia smiles at me and winks her eye as I smile an innocent smile at no one in particular. The waitress returns to see if there is anything we may require and the Signore, smiling at me, says "everything is quite satisfactory". The conversation continues as that final cup of coffee is slowly consumed before we depart. For some reason, no one has British pounds available so I pay using, what else, that infamous Eurocard. I also designate a stipend for the waitress before signing the receipt. Jerry and I then depart for our rooms where I refresh myself before our departure. Our luggage is taken downstairs and we are running again. I think fully a quarter of our lives will be spent in travel.

I am saved.

The aircraft is a family plane, I think that means upon arrival we will not be landing at a commercial airport but at a private airstrip. Therefore there will be no press or crowds looking for the "Warrior Queen".

Wrong again! I simply do not recall any indication that the Italian people would be so interested in the welfare of someone they have never met. We do not land at a private airstrip but at a commercial airport somewhere outside Milan and I see what appears to be hundreds perhaps a thousand people waiting. "Jerry, please tell me this is normal for the return of the family to Italy, or perhaps there is some visiting royalty arriving. This cannot be for me!" "My love, these people are interested in the next wife of an Aldoennetti. That you are also the 'Warrior Queen' has produced even more interest. Simply smile and wave as we deplane and we will be in our cars and on our way quickly." "Dear Jerry, whatever has happened to our quiet trips? You have not prepared me for notoriety." Sophia chimed in, "Teddi, you will need become accustomed to this although it is usually not so intense. I find there are few places I may go where someone does not recognize me and it all starts. I am looking forward to having another with whom I may go shopping such that I do not feel alone against the world." "Jerry!?," I beg, "please tell me it will become better and I will not be living in a goldfish bowl the rest of my life." "It will become better and you will not be living in a goldfish bowl the rest of your life." "Jerry!?" "Seriously, my love, it will not always be like this." He says, and then whispers in my ear, "Sometimes it is worse." As he sees me at the verge of tears he smiles saying; "I am joking. This is not normal. We simply are the victims of the Press. You are the victim of the Press. We shall face them together, and go on. However, you must be prepared for a few days without peace as they will follow you until another story becomes the rage."

It is not quite as simple as he would have me believe. Yes, we disembark and wave but the press has been allowed onto the field, try as we may there will be no avoiding them. There must be 40 or 50 people rushing toward us as the bodyguards place themselves with airport security to hold back the tide, and all those photographers. It immediately becomes a lost cause as the public also break through the barriers and come toward us. "Signorina, you must talk with the press at least," the Signore comments as he holds his hands in the air. The crowd slows their pace and stops at the thin line of security and bodyguards a mere 10 feet from us. Everyone is shouting as the Signore steps up in the doorway of our aircraft and gestures for silence. The commotion slowly dies and he addresses everyone (in Italian, of course), the press are allowed to separate from the crowd who has closed behind them and the photographs begin once again as Jerry firmly takes my arm guiding me over toward his father as though I am a frightened doe looking for a path upon which to make good her escape.

Questions begin to inundate us as I try to answer mostly questions presented to me in Italian, translated by the Signore. "Are you a member of the military?" (No, fortunately, for I might never have met my husband to be) "What is your height?" (I am five feet six inches soaking wet. That is about 168 centimeters) "Are you a Queen or a Princess?" (Looking at Jerry, I answer: "I am considered to be a Princess") "What is your age?" ("A young Lady never discloses her age and an older woman is accepted for whom she is and not how old she may be.") This is almost becoming fun. "How many men have you killed?" ("One, and that was one too many!") It isn't as much fun anymore. "How many times has anyone attempted to take your life?" ("Once, and he nearly succeeded.") "If you marry an Aldoennetti, will you renounce your present citizenship and live here?" ("I cannot renounce my heritage any more than the Earth may renounce the Moon. One without the other cannot survive intact. As for where I may live, that is a decision to be made by my husband when I marry. I hope it will be wherever he may be.") "Is it true that you intentionally seduced a son of Signore Aldoennetti with hopes of obtaining all or part of the family fortune?" This is NOT fun anymore.

Both the Signore and Jerry begin to move me away but the reporter repeats the question again both in Italian and English. A hush has fallen over the crowd. I shake my arms loose from Jerry and the Signore, walk back until I am nearly nose to nose with that man; "don't you even dare insinuate such a thing, now be quiet", then say as calmly as I may through 'clenched teeth': "Permesso! Your question is carefully calculated such that regardless of my answer I shall appear to be deceitful, calculating, and a whore but I shall answer it none-the-less. First: I did not know of Jerry's relationship to the Aldoennetti family until long after we had become good friends and engaged. Second: No one has been seduced, nor has anyone in our party attempted seduction of anyone else. If by 'seduction' you mean we simply have discovered we enjoy each other's company and have many common interests, why don't you say so? Third: Is it true that you intentionally are attempting to destroy both my reputation and that of the Aldoennetti family through the use of innuendo and character assassination? Fourth: You are very fortunate I am a Lady, for if I were a man you would have been laying unconscious upon the ground as of the moment I first approached you. that, I trust, answers your question, do not ask any others." I turn and walk away, as the Signore continues to complete the translation of my answer into Italian and the reporter is attempting to halt a sudden nose bleed.

I take Jerry's arm as we walk to the cars. We enter one just as the crowd begins to yell. Collecting our bodyguards, we depart for the Villa (with me crying once again as well as shaking like a leaf. Face it, I am not very courageous). "Everyone hates me." I wailed, "First they attempt to assassinate me, then they attempt to assassinate my character. When I try to protect myself they hate me for it and for wanting to marry you." "Teddi, Teddi calm your tears, my love. You have been wonderful. Just wait until PaPa arrives, he will tell you. He does not mint... mince? words. You have been a very courageous young woman. You have done well!" "But didn't you hear them yelling at me after I told off that... that... lunatic? I was afraid to look back." "Teddi, they were not yelling at you. They were yelling for you. You have touched their hearts. Now there will be very few who will try to make you out the fool, or whore. Just wait until the news tonight. All Europe will know you are Princess." "Oh, God help me. All I want is to be your girl, your wife, and to help you with your business; oh, and raise our children." I begin crying again.

I really must stop doing this, I always arrive wherever we are going with red eyes and a tear- streaked face. "Now when I meet your mother, I'm going to look a sight, ruining any chance I might have of being liked." In tears again. Jerry looks at the driver and bodyguards with a helpless expression upon his face as he quietly holds me close. I'm glad he is, I badly need to be held closely.

We travel for no less than an hour before turning off the highway and down a long winding road finally turning between two beautiful old stone pillars and the ornate gates attached to them. The wide road wanders between the trees and everywhere around us the land is green and wonderful. White wooden-rail fences line the sides of the road, I am able to see horses in the distance. One final turn and before us lays a huge expanse of lawn with hedges, flower beds, and walking paths; across it is no less than a four story building as beautiful as any Southern plantation residence. "We are home, my love. Come Teddi, you shall be safe here." As the car stops before the stairs, my door is opened by a gentleman who has come down those stairs even as we approach. I exit the vehicle as I thank him, pausing a moment for Jerry to come to my side and we stride up the stairs together into the most beautiful home I have ever seen. Enchanting as it may be, I am still shaking from the encounter with the reporters. "Wait here my love, I will bring MaMa." "NO! Jerry wait. Please don't leave me. I... I need you near me. Please!? I have used all my courage for the day. I need... I need!," (to stop crying). "JERRY!!"

I jump with the suddenness of his name, "What have you done to her?" A woman's voice, Ohh... this must be his mother. I look terrible. "Nothing MaMa. She has a bad experience with a reporter from the Brigade and has been crying since. She asked me not to leave her even for a few minutes." His mother comes over to me as I am wiping my eyes with my kerchief and her strong slender hands grasp mine helping me up out of my chair leading me away from Jerry and out of the room. "I have heard much about you, Teddi. I may call you Teddi? I am pleased to meet you at last." "Thank-you. I... I'm sorry, I... I'm not usually like this. The last few days have been exceptionally difficult." "I should think so. I was afraid you had been badly injured as the news said an assassin shot you. At first we had thought it had been Sophia but then they said it was a fiancee who had been shot, either way I feared the worst. The news film on the television showed much blood on the floor." Nodding my head I reply, "I was shot. The wounds bled a great deal but the bullet did not do much damage except to my pride and my gown. It was my own fault. The bodyguards were wonderful!.. Sophia seems a nice person, I like her. However when we arrived in Italy... the crowd... the reporters... That... man! I wish I were a man, I would have knocked him unconscious." "What man? Who are you talking about? I will tell Alphonse and we shall see what may be done." "Wait, please wait. The Signore will arrive soon I believe. He should be able to explain it to you better than I. He translated my words into Italian so everyone could understand me. Jerry said it will probably be on the news. I hope not. I.. Oh... I must apologize. Here I am going on and on about myself. I... I'm very pleased to meet you, Signora Aldoennetti. I hope I have the opportunity to allow you to learn how I usually behave rather than continuing in a tirade and tears. This certainly is not typical of me." "I should hope not, Teddi. Please pardon me, but I find this to be amusing," she relates as I look at her in bewilderment, "and I cannot help but believe Jerry has not prepared you for our lifestyle. As you have begun to notice, we do not always have a calm existence. Here now, you seem to have finished your cry. Perhaps a little Sherry will help." "I'm sorry, but I do not drink alcoholic beverages," I reply. "Nonsense! Here Teddi, this is but a small Sherry which will help calm you. Just sip a little every now and again, before you know it, it will be gone and you shall feel much better."

I do not wish to hurt her feelings so I accept the Sherry as we curl up comfortably each on our own large overstuffed chair there in the study, slowly sipping our drinks (it tastes like fruit) as we talk for perhaps 10 or 20 minutes until the Signore and Jerry find us. I like her, all of Jerry's relatives and friends are such nice people. His mother is a beautiful woman, who must be five foot ten and slender. She probably doesn't weigh 110 pounds. I, now, am absolutely certain I am too fat, at five foot six and 120 pounds. I wonder if I may lose ten pounds if I exercise diligently. As we continue to talk we are suddenly interrupted: "There you are. I thought perhaps you had both run away," the Signore injects as he and Jerry enter the room. "Yes Alphonse, I rescued her from Jerry and calmed her nerves. Jerry, she is very nice, but you should not have thrown her to... to 'the wolves'?" I nod my head. "There, you are both mean not to have prepared her for her debut in society. She has not had the exposure we have come to expect and was not at all prepared for it." "MaMa, I took her out. I... we... How could I have prepared her for an assassin? She did well. She... I..." "Jerry, you should have been with her. She is beginning to think she should not be a part of our family because we 'lead such stressful lives'." "MaMa, she is capable. She is wonderful. She could easily adapt, and I love her." "Then prove it. Demonstrate to her the way we live. Not just the parties, but the way we live, we work, what is expected of each of us as Aldoennettii..." "Wait!" says Signore Aldoennetti, "Watch the news tonight. You will see how well she may be Aldoennetti. With only her own brain (wits) she take... scusi, she took the question of that devil from the Brigadde and turn it back upon him. She is now darling of all Italy." "Teddi, you did not tell me of that." Accused Signora Aldoennetti. "Oh, no. I... I don't remember what I said. I was very angry and he asked his question in a way that made both the Aldoennetti family and myself appear to be villainous. He asked the question first in English and then again in Italian so everyone stopped to listen. It was absolutely necessary that I answer. I wish I were a man, I would have hit him so hard he could not stand for a week." "Teddi," the Signore placed his hand upon my shoulder, "You did much better than hitting him with your fist. You took his lies and threw them back into his face. Then you gave to him a question which he could not answer without the same difficulty. He did not answer. You won distinct victory in front of many hundreds of public; radio and television reporters. The way you won means he will be hit much harder and much more often than if you have been a man and simply hit him with your fist. Enough now. Let us all relax and enjoy the day. The Aldoennettii have had one more victory." (He included me when he said 'the Aldoennettii'.)

Walking over to Jerry, I take his hand in mine, happy just to stand there with him. For the remainder of the morning we simply discuss events occurring throughout Europe and most especially Italy, France, and England (I needed most of the morning just to finish that little glass of Sherry, I probably shall never be much of a drinker). A party has been planned for the next week to introduce me to many of their friends. I am not looking forward to it because of the difficulty of being the center of attention. I shall probably never live down the nom-de-guerre of 'Warrior Queen". How did that bit of trash ever begin? As the day progresses it is decided we shall eat our supper meal outside at a 'private' party (just the family, servants, bodyguards, and about 20 couples who are "very close family friends"), to welcome me to the Estate. We will be able to play croquet on the lawn just off the veranda. Billiards is also available in the game room which connects to the veranda. This residence is well designed to provide for it's guests. I have never played Billiards and when Jerry offers to teach me to play, his mother says she would also like to play. One guess who the reigning Billiards champion of the family happens to be and neither the men nor I qualify. I must say, however, it is very entertaining and I enjoy playing tremendously. We continue to play even as the guests begin to arrive. She tries to teach me and occasionally I apply correctly that which she has told me, but usually I just blunder my way through the game. "Teddi, we shall give you more practice when so many are not present. Perhaps eventually you may be able to challenge me for the title." She smiles and laughs a lot, enjoying life very much. I only hope I will begin to enjoy life as I have recently. Jerry is now a very important part of that life. "Scusi. Teddi, it is nearing time for the news, would you care to accompany the Signora and I to the theater?" "Signore? I... I..." looking around, "Where is Jerry?" "Always Jerry, that is good. He is in the theater setting the station. Everyone! We are going to the theater to watch the news. Anyone who wishes to come is welcome." There is a very high percentage of people who speak English at the party this evening, I find it to be very surprising. Although it is entirely possible their 'very close family friends' are in reality the ones who speak English most readily so I shall not feel alone. (Best of all, no one mentioned the 'Warrior Queen') They accept me for me and not because I shot an assassin or turned the tables on a reporter.

I cannot believe I said those things. The reporter with the tape recorder captured it all, my answer and the Signore's translation. For the first time I have seen the public reaction and Jerry is correct, the people are yelling for me not at me. Jerry's mother sits next to me and translates the Italian to English so quickly that one would have thought she has done it for a living. The essentials are that the "Warrior Queen" is as capable with verbal assassins as she is with literal ones. I am becoming more and more frightened as the notoriety increases. Will this mean I shall become more and more a target? The news ends and we all proceed back outside with everyone congratulating me on my fast wit. Somehow I don't feel as though I have a fast wit. I actually feel quite overwhelmed and see no sign of the tidal wave diminishing.

"Jerry. Jerry, please I must speak with you. Please?" He gives his apologies and walks away with me on his arm. "Please Jerry, somewhere quiet and private where we may just talk." His face has been one of contentment, joy, but is now beginning to turn concerned. He leads me into the study and closes the doors. We sit together on the couch my back to the doors and I try to decide how to begin. "Jerry, I love you... I want to be your wife... but I am becoming more and more frightened. It seems... many people are trying to assassinate me one way or another and the more the press picks up the story, the more I am afraid others will try and perhaps succeed. This is unfair to you, to me, and to the family. I am not very courageous. I envy you and your family for their ability to live under such a constant threat, but I simply don't know if I can bear it. I wish things were as they had been the last four months where no one knew me and I could walk unafraid upon a sidewalk. Now, everywhere I go, I am looking for a hand holding a gun or a knife. I am afraid of every sound, every glance. I swear to you I shall try with all my heart to endure this onslaught, however I don't know for how long I may withstand it. I am hoping things will calm greatly,.. greatly... during the next week or two such that I may be able to tell you I am able and willing to go on. Should things not improve, I... I... simply don't know." Crying again, this is a distressing habit. "I Love you, Jerry!!! You are my first and only Love. I,.. Please may I go to my room?" "Yes my love, come I will show you the way. And Teddi,.. I love you also." We rise from the couch and turn to see the Signore standing in a dark corner of the room. "Oh!,.." I didn't know he was here. He motions to Jerry to take me out and Jerry walks me to my room. Once there I discover my clothes have been unpacked and put away. I change to a negligee and go to bed, crying myself to sleep.

WHAT? What's wrong? Oh not again..." "Yes Teddi, Jerry told us of your screams in the night. You are safe here my child. The killer has himself been killed and you are safe." she turns toward the door saying: "It is alright Alphonse, we would like to be alone for a few minutes. Tell Jerry all is well." She turns back to me and continues: "Alphonse, Jerry and I spoke well into the night. We are temporarily canceling the party to allow you some time to adjust. You are wrong, you know. You told Jerry you are not courageous, but everything you have done speaks otherwise. You do not stop to worry but do that which must be done. It is normal to have misgivings after the situation has passed. The important thing is that you are very capable and accomplish all that must be. You worry about the family as though you are already a daughter. Please, for your Jerry; for you, give it a little time. I understand you are here only for eight weeks, that is a very short time. Please allow all of it. Don't leave too soon just because there are some idiots in the world. The idiots are always after a name for themselves and think they may achieve it by attacking those who are famous. Do you ever hear of a reporter verbally attacking someone of the street? No! They attack the rich and famous. The more rich or more famous the stronger and more frequent the attack. When I was your age, they attacked me also. I had taken the son of an Aldoennetti as my husband and many were upset that their daughters would not have the opportunity. Alphonse and I are very pleased that Jerry has brought you here, even for a few short weeks. I believe you are capable of being a very good addition to the family." "I... I don't know what to say. I love Jerry. I hope you're correct. I'm so afraid I will do something to bring harm to the family's reputation. You are all so kind and I have made a mess of things at the party last night." "No, everyone understood. You have had a very difficult time these past few days and are very tired. Teddi, is that blood?" We check, I must have scratched the scar as a small amount of blood has oozed onto my negligee. "I shall clean the negligee in the morning. Thank-you for talking with me, Signora. I will try not to scream anymore." "Good night Teddi, and please call me Catherine. 'Signora' makes you sound like a servant." "Isn't it also a sign of respect? I think you are well worth respecting." "Yes Teddi, it is. But call me Catherine anyway. Good night." "Good night... Catherine." I lay awake for a long time thinking about our conversation before my mind allows me to sleep once again. I realise, too, that Jerry and I have not actually spent much time together and that perhaps he is still following his campaign which he once described to me. I hope not. I want to be his wife and dearly pray he wants to be my husband.

The next morning I dress in the chocolate brown trousers, hunter's green sweater, black jacket and pumps. I temporarily place the jacket and purse on the bed, my pistol hidden in a jacket pocket. My hair I allow to hang straight down my back, occasionally a few impertinent strands find their way over my shoulders and hang in front. I feel much better and quietly go down the stairs. "Good morning Teddi. How do you feel today?" "Good morning, Catherine. I'm much better thank-you. I hope I did not cause you to lose much sleep last night." "Not at all. I shall be going into town to do a little shopping, would you care to come along?" "Oh Yes, very much thank-you. Should I change?" "No Teddi. You look very nice, just bring a light jacket and we shall be off in about twenty minutes. If you would like a roll there are some in the... here allow me to guide you." She walks ahead of me out into the great entryway, through a door and down a hallway. After passing several doorways we enter a nook where a small breakfast buffet has been laid out. I thank her and help myself to a luscious looking roll with icing, raisins, and thinly sliced nuts (I thought it was a cinnamon roll but there was no cinnamon in it); a small slice of meat (It did not look or taste like ham or beef). A pitcher of milk is available and I pour myself a glass before bringing everything over to the table, seating myself. Catherine watches me carefully as she pours a cup of coffee (?, darker than tea but doesn't smell quite like coffee) and then joins me. "Don't be afraid to eat. There is plenty." "Thank-you, but I don't eat a lot of food. I find I tend to go to fat very easily and do not require large amounts of food." We talk a little about my life (and hers), what I might expect during the next few weeks, and the possibility of my becoming Jerry's wife. "I really have not prepared myself to be meeting all the family so soon. After you and I talked last night, I began to think about how little Jerry and I have really been together. He seems so determined to win my affections, I wish he would stop spending so much money on me. And if that isn't so bad, then I spent thousands of his money on two new gowns before I learn of the price. Things have just gone completely out of hand. I cannot spend that kind of money. I must pay him back for the gowns. Have you seen, no of course not. You must come to my room and see the necklace and earrings he gave to me, they are REAL emeralds, not artificial. Catherine, I know I cannot live this lifestyle. Spending money like it is water. I work too hard for my money to just allow this... this... extravagance. I... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm talking too much again." Just then a gentleman enters the room and quickly speaks with Catherine, then a little bow to each of us and out he goes. I must have had a strange expression on my face as she laughs a quiet little laugh putting her hand before her face then saying, "Please forgive me Teddi, I am quite accustomed to this and have forgotten what it was like when I first met Alphonse's parents, and servants. Don't worry, you will become accustomed to it. It is mostly for show anyway. He would not have been quite so formal had he known you were family." "Am I family, Catherine? I..." "Of course! Teddi you worry too much. Both Alphonse and I are taken with you and we are happy Jerry has finally come to his senses. Most of the others he has dated I would not allow in my home, but you are sweet and you are caring. Come, finish your roll, the car is ready." I finish as quickly as I may, then go upstairs to obtain my jacket and purse. As I return downstairs, Catherine steps into the great entryway from the drawing room below and upon seeing me she waves and turns slowly, starting for the door. Jerry and Alphonse then come into the entryway from the drawing room and I greet them. Quickly giving Jerry a small kiss before turning to go. He grasps my arm drawing me back, placing and holding his lips on mine and I melt. My arms go around the neck of this most wonderful man and the world fades away. As we slowly come back to reality, I know I cannot leave him. Even if it means I must face an assassin every day, I must be his wife. I must give him children. "I love you, we'll be back soon," I whisper.

The drive and shopping are enjoyable. That is to say uneventful. No one questions that I may be the 'Warrior Queen' or have killed anyone. The world is much as it had been before that journey to never-never land. The shop keepers are always trying their English on us which is great fun and Catherine tells me they know she speaks Italian fluently and therefore feel comfortable trying to improve their English by speaking with her. "Languages have been a gift for me." she says, "I speak English, Italian, French, and Dutch. I much prefer Italian." "I'm afraid languages have always eluded me." I reply, "Even my English is not all that good. I simply do'na hav th' ha'cent for hit.'" She pauses, looking at me strangely for a moment before we both begin laughing, puzzling the poor shopkeeper, which causes us to laugh even more. I have found some fruit I would like to purchase: "Quant'e? " I manage to select four and pay for them with Catherine looking on. "Very good Teddi. Your accent leaves a lot to be desired but you were able to communicate." When, finally, we return home we are still enjoying ourselves talking and laughing, all cares forgotten, simply two women who are enjoying the day. Moments after we enter the home, Jerry and his father come out to see who it is causing the commotion. We take one look at them and laugh some more. It is wonderful, but "I'm a'fear'ed w' must seam simple to thes' fin' genl'men." They look at us, we look at them and again our laughter rings out in the large entryway. We have had a very good time that day.

Alphonse says, "Catherine, you have worked a miracle." Which causes us to laugh further. I walk over and hold Jerry's head tightly between my hands, kissing him firmly on his lips, then turn abruptly before he may react that I may dance away, up the stairs. Catherine takes my cue and does the same to Alphonse, then she too is up the stairs and we enter my room leaving two very confused men staring after us. "Teddi, I had forgotten how much fun it could be to simply enjoy the day. You shall be a precious addition to our family." I am peeking out the door down to the huge room below, Jerry and Alphonse are still standing there looking up at the landing above. I quickly motion for Catherine to come and look. She does and we begin to laugh again. "Come," as she starts out the door and down the stairs with me following, "it is not good of us to allow them to simply stand there like that." "Why not?" I ask, "They have not been standing there long enough to catch dust or need painting!" She checks her descent, turns and looks at me for a brief moment before looking back to where they have not moved since we first left them. We begin laughing again. As we have both spoken sufficiently loudly they have heard our comments, in moments they too begin to laugh. "Bravo. My Teddi is back, all five feet six inches, soaking wet." He bounds up the stairs and I receive a big hug, then he lifts me off my feet and carries me down to the drawing room. Catherine and Alphonse arm-in-arm follow us in. The weekend goes well also. They accept me into their home as though I am a daughter, not some stranger they barely have met. They are so kind. I am finally beginning to realise the world is not out to get me. Monday I will go with Jerry to see one of their factories. That afternoon Catherine and I will go with Giorani to meet his wife. Catherine tells me she is a lovely lady.

Catherine has won trophies for her ability to shoot. Tuesday she is going to go to the range with Giorani, Sophia, and myself. This is going to be fun. Oh yes, the party is back on. It will be Friday and I am looking forward to it. My gown will go in for cleaning Monday morning. I have shown Catherine the emeralds. I am just sick at their probable cost and that of the gowns I purchased. Together they would probable feed some poor family of four for years. She tells me I am very much as was she was when she was my age. Actually the Aldoennetti family donates considerable sums of money to charities to aid the poor and those who have been hit by disaster. Catherine even makes appearances to aid the Red Cross of Italy and England. She will be going to one in about three weeks and I shall accompany her. It is so nice to have the money to help people and to be well known so one might place their notoriety to use assisting charities.

I have missed my entries for several days. I simply have been doing so much and have been so tired that I have just never taken the time to write. Now it is Thursday morning, tomorrow evening is the party. My gown is to be returned today, mended and cleaned. Monday, Jerry took me to a factory where they make pistols. We fire several at the indoor range located under the factory. 11mm is simply too large, I cannot control it. 9mm is better, but I like my 7mm best of all. I learn the factory is now just outside Milan but the Aldoennetti heritage derives from Brescia where the Aldoennetti family were accomplished armourers and produced fine armor and swords. Jerry has promised to take me on an outing to visit the city which is not far to the southeast of the Villa.

During the early afternoon, Catherine and I visit Giorani's home and meet his wife. It is like sisters coming to a reunion to watch Catherine and Scelline, who seem to have known each other forever. Giorani introduces me to his wife who curtsies, much to my embarrassment. I quickly take her hands in mine and have her rise, saying "Giorani, please tell her not to do that. I am not royalty or worthy of the gesture. We are equals." He tells her that which I have said and she seems puzzled. It finally comes out, reporters! The 'Warrior Queen' strikes again. "Catherine, please, explain to her. I am not royalty, I'm just a woman as is she." "Yes, your majesty." Catherine said as she curtsies. "Catherine!" Giorani smiles and waits to see what will happen. I turn bright red, "Catherine, please!" She begins laughing, Giorani joins her as he tries to explain to his wife. Finally we are all laughing. The rest of the day improves considerably.

Tuesday we go to the range. I am almost equal to Catherine. She tells me I am a fine shot. Poor Sophia is trying but it will take time. I tell her it does not happen overnight, I have been shooting for nearly five years. She promises to continue to try not to close her eyes before she fires. I suggest to Giorani that she begin as did I with a .22 caliber or about 5mm. It is much quieter and allows one to become accustomed to the sound. She begins to improve immediately.

Wednesday is another day of 'rest'. Catherine and I go shopping for the household provisions. (They must feed an army.) Catherine says they must provide food for over 100 people. There are the grounds-keepers, bodyguards, household staff, (ourselves of course), dog and horse trainers, their staffs and more. Then there are their families who may purchase their food at cost from the market in the small town on the Aldoennetti properties. By purchasing such quantities of food the families also benefit due to the reduced prices. When she mentions the kennels, I beg her to show me the dogs, German Shepherds, which they breed for the police and military. They have more awards for the Dogs and Horses. Oh yes, Catherine not only rides but competes and frequently has placed in the top five. "I cannot ride," I say quietly, "I have never been taught." "We will remedy that beginning today. An Aldoennetti must ride in the events, and I am beginning to be too old to continue this nonsense. We shall teach you to bring more awards to the family." "Really!?.. I may learn so well as to compete?" I hug her, "Thank-you Catherine. I will work at it very diligently." We complete the shopping in only three hours. Provisions shall again be brought to the Estate three times a week. Payments made in advance to assure quality. The provisions for the Friday evening party secured also, delivery to be Thursday afternoon (today). Thursday, the day of pain and sore muscles. I must have ridden for a year yesterday, I am so stiff. My muscles ache where I did not know I had muscles. The horses are very sleek and tall. I rode in one of my culottes, but today we are going to town to purchase 'proper riding clothes', the culottes are wash-and-wear so they were taken last night for cleaning in the household laundry. Catherine thinks I may ride well enough by the end of my stay that we may conduct a mock competition here for me to practice and for some of her friends to come for 'friendly sport'. Learning to direct the horse in the direction you wish to go while it is walking, trotting, or during a canter is a chore. Backing is even more difficult. There are many other moves to be learned and then I must learn all the simple ones again without using reins "to improve your confidence".

Oh, the dogs. I have never seen German Shepherds like these. They are so large, they easily outweigh me, but they will walk beside me without so much as a leash; sitting, standing, laying down all by voice command. Even the young dogs with only a few months of training are able to do so much. The father of three of the seven current litters (imagine, over 60 puppies who lick my face and wiggle and want to be touched and to play), is a grand champion. He performed for me. He will search a building and find the man in the suit (there is a name but I don't remember it just now), and he will search for items left here and there upon the ground near to the path someone has followed. I was given six things to drop 'within two meters of where you walk' and allowed to walk anywhere I wanted in this huge area. I walked on the grass, between the trees, through the sandy area of a small creek, crossing the creek on some stones and continuing on the other side. Seeing a small bridge I cross back over the creek and toss another item into the brush just after I cross. When I have dropped all of the items, I walk back to near the starting point (they told me not to cross my own trail) and they brought out the dog. He followed the path every place I had been, and found every item I dropped. This is exciting. "You blaze a difficult trail, Miss. You almost had us when you crossed the stones. Dropping the article on the tree root above the track was nearly a miss but he found them all." "Most impressive. What is the cost of such a dog? And how long has he trained?" "Oh, I imagine now he might bring four or five thousand Pounds Sterling. He has been training since he was six months old which is now about four years." "Thank-you sir. Catherine, that dog is amazing. He went everywhere I had been. I have never seen anything like that before. You do such interesting things." "I have only trained one, Teddi. If we were to do it all ourselves we would not have time for anything else. Would you enjoy training one some day?" "I don't know. I must determine what time I may have available to me after learning to be an Aldoennetti, to ride and compete, continuing to improve my shooting, billiards, dancing. I must understand the running of a household full of people, how to be a good hostess, and if we are to live in Italy, I must learn Italian. There are the customs, and..." "Enough Teddi, I quite understand. It is not as formidable a task as you may believe. You are very good at shooting, riding, even billiards. There is simply a matter of practice and refinement. As for dancing, we shall correct that requirement soon enough. You are learning the responsibilities of being an Aldoennetti more rapidly than you imagine. Most important, you are concerned of the welfare of others, and because of that all else will fall into place."

One week. Just over one week has past since arriving in Italy. I have only eight and a half more and then I must return to the United States. It is not enough time, I do not wish to return. Catherine is so gracious and teaching me so much. Should I learn to be half so great a lady as she (and give Jerry many children) I will be content. I actually obtained six hours sleep last night. I awaken with the dawn and write all this so my diary will be current. Today we go to the city to purchase riding clothes for me. I asked Jerry, yesterday, if I should pay from the cash I have but he told me to use the 'card'. My face must have betrayed my concern not to spend because he smiled and kissed me gently saying: "I have complete faith in MaMa. She will not be extravagant, but will also not allow you to purchase inferior materials just to 'save' money on clothing which falls apart when you wear it." "I'm sorry about the gowns, we should have canceled the purchase." "Nonsense my love, tomorrow is only the first of many parties and balls which we will attend. You will obtain good use of those gowns. Besides, Sophia told us one of them is white, and I would like to see how you look in white." I'm doing better, my face became warm but I do not believe I blushed badly. I stand on my toes, my arms go around his neck and we kiss until the world vanishes once again. "Teddi, Teddi please, save some for when we are married." "Married!? That's tomorrow, isn't it. Then I have enough remaining." Kissing him once again. "Air! Please my love, Teddi allow me time to breath." "Oh, you..." "Lover?" "Yess... please one more kiss." "A small one..." "OH! You meany." I gently hit his chest. "Look at the two lovebirds Catherine. One would think they had been separated for years, not just since last night." Alphonse commented. They had entered the room just before Jerry asked for air. "Perhaps they are in love as much as are we, Alphonse!" as she turns and they kiss long and lingering. "You see Jerry," and I place my lips against his once again. As we all come up for air, Alphonse says to Jerry: "What are we to do? Our women have taken control and we are but ripe grapes in their hands." "I agree PaPa. I think it was a mistake bringing Teddi here. MaMa and Teddi together are a formidable pair which I would not wish to encounter without an army at my side." "Oh, You..."

I gather one of the stuffed pillows off of the couch and throw it at him, when it hits he allows himself to go down as though shot by a cannon. "There PaPa, see, she is dangerous." "Not half so much as I," says Catherine, "Now out, both of you. Teddi and I are going to have some girl talk and men are definitely not invited." She asks me many questions, have I ever accepted a man other than Jerry, am I pregnant, do I intend to be pregnant before we are married, and many others. I quietly tell her I had been repeatedly raped at one time but since have never had any man, including Jerry, and will not have him until we are married. His kisses just make the world go away. I want to be with him forever, to be the mother of his children, to help him with his work, his home. I am unable to put how I feel about him into words. I feel it here in my heart and here, and desire burns in me, but I will not be his mate unless we are married. Then I will provide him with as many children as he desires and I am capable of producing. "Does this make me so bad, that I will not bed with him unless we are married? I was not so popular once I began working because I would go out on a date but I would not allow sex. Soon I stopped dating because all the men desired was to take me to bed. They made stories about me and said they did not want to take me out because it was easy to get me into a bed, but they lied. Since the rapes no one has taken me and no one will until we are husband and wife. They will need to kill me first, I'm sorry Catherine, but I become so angry at the way many men treat women. I don't know why I went out on a date with Jerry. He seemed different somehow. Taking me to bed did not seem to be as important to him as having someone with whom to talk. We spent many hours playing chess. We walked a lot, up and down the beach, and in the parks. We even went to stage performances together. I did not know his last name, only that he was Jerry and his brother had been given the family money. I was content simply to be with him and after two months began to realise that I wanted to stay with him. It was frightening at first, I have spent so much time trying to hold men at arms length that to finally want to bring one close caused me tremendous conflict. He is a very kind person and has never made any allusion he would like to take me to bed. Additionally, the first I had even a hint he had any money was when he took me to a stage production in Canada. That was it, just the program, dinner and dancing. But to Canada, just for the weekend. And the expense of separate rooms (which were not adjoining). I have occasionally gone with him on a day trip to one location or another where he would do something for his father, but we have never gone away anywhere just to see a program and to go dancing, it petrified me. That is the same weekend he gave me the Emeralds. I thought they were imitations and when I learned they were real I asked him to return them, but we bargained and he held them for me saying I could have them again anytime I asked. I did not hear from him for nearly three weeks afterward, and became terrified I had offended him and he would not return. I had no way of reaching him during that time. When he finally called to ask me out for another weekend, I was terribly afraid I would lose him but said, 'No, not unless it is business also'. I just knew he would never come back to me. That was when he said it was business, I could also meet his father, and would I please go with him. I hoped,.. I wondered... if he might be considering... he might... perhaps he was contemplating our marriage. I told myself, I could do tremendously worse. After all, how often has a handsome young man dated me for months without trying to take me to bed, given me emeralds (no one had done that), and taken me on a trip just to go to the theater and dancing? I hope Sophia had so wonderful an engagement as I am having. Anyway, I said 'yes, I would go'; and I suppose you have already heard the rest from the Signore." "Yes Teddi, I have never told anyone but that is much the way Alphonse won my heart. Be careful Teddi, if what you have told me is any indication; Jerry is a romantic like Alphonse. It is a relationship which never ends. There will be no one else but you. Treat my Jerry well young woman, there is no one else in his life now." "Catherine, I will try to be a wonderful wife. I will try to be as good to him as you are to the Signore." "Teddi, do not 'try', just do. Be yourself and love him, God will take care of the rest." We hug then, two women deeply in love with their men.

 

chapter VI

"Teddi, are you awake? It is Catherine, may I come in?" "Oh, yes. Yes!", I realise as she enters my room, the morning has been going by quickly. Here am I sitting on the bed, writing in my diary while still wearing my negligee. "You are not ready and have not eaten. Do you not remember we are going to purchase riding clothes for you today? Come, hurry, I will have them send your roll and glass of milk to your room as you dress. It is nice to be young, but sometimes we must put that aside and pretend we are old matrons. I will be waiting downstairs." "I'm sorry Catherine, I have been making entries in my diary and the time escaped me. I will hurry. Would the culottes be alright or should I wear slacks?" "Wear the slacks Teddi." I jump up, placing my diary in the night stand drawer and begin to straighten my bed as she departs my room. I notice she is wearing a green print summer dress and heels so I select a green print blouse, my chocolate pants, and jacket with matching pumps that will complement her outfit. During my sojourn in the shower, my milk and roll are delivered. After drying, I begin to dress, munching the roll each chance I have. Finally dressed, I change my purse, add jewelry, a touch of makeup, and perfume. Finishing my roll and milk I wipe my mouth and apply lipstick, checking myself in the mirror quickly. Then off and down the stairs to the study where Catherine and Sophia are waiting. "Sophia! Are you coming also?" I ask her. "Yes, it will just be we three girls. You look very nice today. When Catherine mentioned you would both be going to town today, I seized the opportunity for a ride to the city with company. I dislike going alone. Besides, Alphonso and I shall be returning to England in just a few days and this shall be my last opportunity to spend time here with family."

"Catherine," I ask, "what is our itinerary? Will I have time this afternoon to practice more riding or will we be out all day?" "There will be plenty of time even for a sleepyhead like you. We shall be back for a late lunch and there will be hours available for me to instruct you in the Event Protocols." "Not again." I wail. "Come Teddi, do you or do you not wish to be a prize winning rider?" "Yes... I know you are correct, but I feel like every muscle is fighting me." "That will pass my dear. In a few weeks you will be able to ride well, not magnificently, but that may come with time. You are willing to spend the time to learn, this is important. Are we all ready? So? Let us depart."

Sophia is nice. I like her but all she ever talks about is purchasing this or that, the latest gossip, and where and when the next party, trip or event will occur. Catherine is very nice. She is also very sophisticated, but then she is probably twenty (thirty) years my senior. I hope I may be as sophisticated when I reach her present age. When she speaks she says very little but you may fill volumes with the inferences and variations in the meanings of the words she has used. She made some answer to one of Sophia's comments and I realised there were at least three meanings to the statement and nearly laughed out loud. Instead I went into a coughing fit, Catherine turned her eyebrow up at me and then briefly smiled. She knows I understand, since Saturday last we have been able to communicate easily while using few words, having spent that day laughing together at the world. I'm afraid Sophia, as nice a lady as she is, will never have that kind of bond with Catherine. It is almost like Catherine is my mother, and we have been together thinking alike for years. Alphonse and Jerry have watched us talk together with cryptic partial sentences and then both break out laughing or both make the same decision at nearly the same time. When she makes a decision concerning some of the party supplies, I happen to comment about how it would then require an extra hour of preparation and she says she has just thought of that also, "You will make an excellent hostess, Teddi."

She is terribly good at logistics. She may plan two or three weeks in advance, with many events occurring each day and easily separate them and arrange for all of the appropriate ones to come together at the right time. After Jerry and I are married, I hope to spend enough time with her as her apprentice such that I may learn from a master. We are here! This is not a department store. Oh Jerry, what have I gotten myself into now? More pictures and measurements. She has ordered four (4!) identical outfits for me. Three pairs of boots. And she says we will go to a saddlery to obtain the other items I need. You don't want to know the amount I just paid, and we paid extra to have it all completed by Wednesday next. I think I'm going to be sick. Jerry, I'm sorry, really. You may have back the money you have given to me for emergencies. It, at least, will pay a little toward all I have cost you. At the saddlery she has me sit on each of the nearly dozen saddles which are on display. Then I repeat on three of them. The owner is assisting us and as he sets the stirrups to the proper length, he asks me to stand slightly in the stirrups between each adjustment. After a dozen tries with him making small changes each time, we move on to the next one and then to the third... Catherine takes him aside and speaks with him. I see his eyebrows rise and fall several times and he gives a shrug. They walk over to a book and he begins to leaf through several pages while shaking his head. He finally calls in three of his workmen and the five of them continue talking. I know this is going to cost some money. Everyone is shaking their heads but I know they do not wish to disappoint Signora Aldoennetti. Perhaps five minutes pass before Catherine walks to me saying: "Pay the man Teddi. Your first saddle will be completed by Wednesday next for we are paying extra for the workmen to stay a few hours each evening plus work an extra day on the weekend just to complete it." "My First ?? saddle? Catherine, how many saddles am I purchasing?" "Only three. It is a good start and the price is reasonable." "Three!?" "Teddi, close your mouth. Yes, three. One is for training, one is for show, the third shall be your cross country saddle. That is the least number you require. Later, as you progress we will purchase more." "More?" "Of course. Am I not making myself clear? Teddi, three is the bare minimum. I personally own over twenty saddles and use perhaps ten of them each month." "Yes, Catherine. Am I allowed to be shocked?" "Of course, Teddi. But I want you to be able to pick up the reins when I drop them." "Thank-you,.. I believe!?." I say to her as I give the owner the Eurocard asking him: "Accetta carta di Euro?" "Cia, Cia." Of course, he does. it is just like money. I am unable to look at the price, I do not want to know. I simply sign the authorization and accept my copy and card: "Grazie, Signore." "Thank-YOU, Signorina." "You speak English!" "Cia. Yes, not so good. But Signora is gracious to allow me practice when she come." "I think you speak English VERY well." "Thank-you Signorina. I practice when you come in, perhaps?" "Only if you help me learn Italian." "Yes. I like that, thank-you." "Thank-you Sir, very much. I will think of you when I am using the saddles." I call back over my shoulder as we walk out of his shop. "Teddi, you are shameful." "What did I do, now?" "You were flirting with that old man." "Flirting! All I did was pay for my saddles. Then I was surprised he spoke English." "Oh, that is even worse. You did not know you were flirting." I take a deep breath through my open mouth then smile a pixie smile as I exhale through my nose. "You are making sport of me, aren't you?" "Perhaps, Teddi. At least you are not wailing at the money you have spent." "Catherine, I may not enjoy spending large sums of money but Jerry told me he trusts your judgement completely which means I do also. If you say everything I just purchased is necessary then who am I to argue? I have only one question." "And what is that, Teddi?" "Why must the first saddle and the riding clothes all be completed by Wednesday? That is only four working days considering the money spent to pay for the extra hours during the week." "Because, Teddi, you must have one week to break in the new saddle, as well as become accustomed to your new clothing before your first competition." "Oh,... Competition!?" "Teddi, your mouth is open again." "What competition, when is it, where will it be held, will I be ready?" "Very good, the most important question comes last. You are the one who needs the training. The horse already knows what to do, and how to respond to your movements. If we work very hard, you will be ready. With any luck, you may even place in your category. As for the competition, allow me to be concerned about that. Now Sophia and I have places to go and you have a book to read before we finish," as she drops a book onto my lap. Why does this all seem more complicated in the book than it does when I am on the horse? Sitting there yesterday, it was like my legs end where the horse starts and his legs were mine. Each time I wanted to go in a particular direction he just went that way and I didn't need to do anything special to make him do it. I have not finished the book by the time they return and I am anxious to return to the Estate. As Catherine speaks with me about it, I tell her how it feels sitting on the horse. "I probably could have released the reins and still have him go wherever I wanted." "You are not ready for that Teddi. The horse will expect a certain expertise from you if you attempt to control him with little command on the reins. You could find yourself in a dangerous situation without expecting it."

Upon finally reaching the Estate, we eat a late lunch. When I finish, Catherine tells me to go practice and she shall be out shortly to watch. I go to my room changing once again to culottes and rush down to the stables. I tell the grooms the Signora has entered me in a competition and I must needs practice, practice, practice and in my spare time I shall practice more. They bring out a different horse than the one which I have ridden yesterday. "He is very good horse, Signorina. Much time the Signora has ride him. He likes to hear the voice, especially woman voice, and he will listen to you. This is good horse, very smart." I lead him out, while I talk to him, one of his ears cocked at me listening. He is taller than the other horse I have been riding and he looks to be strong. His head comes around to me and he sniffs. He is smelling my perfume. (Hello, do you understand me? You are a handsome fellow aren't you?) His head is gorgeous with the prettiest eyes. "I'm sorry but you are a little too tall for me. I need to mount the saddle from the boxes if you don't mind. They didn't tell me if you like to hear Italian or to hear English. I'm afraid I only know English so I hope it will do. Here we are. Ready? Here I come,.. there now, that isn't so bad is it? I know I'm a little overweight but not much and I am dieting. If you are ready, let us go." We trot past the stables and down the path to the training arena. I continue my chatter, but it doesn't seem to matter what it is I say, he is calm and we walk easily to the arena to begin practice. We walk first around the arena, do figure eights, and then we trot doing all of these. I begin to change pace, a walk, a trot, a canter, a trot, a walk. We halt and back, then he suddenly side-steps, I almost fall out of the saddle. Carefully trying this again, we trot forward, stop, back, stop, walk forward, nary a problem. I still do not feel as one with this horse, much as the other. I dismount and hold the reins as I touch the velvet of his face while speaking to him. He sniffs at me again. I have cheated before coming out and now reach into my pocket producing a lump of sugar. (you knew I had this didn't you?) He accepts it then asks for more. "I'm sorry, I brought only one with me. Tomorrow I shall bring more, I promise." He snorts as though he understands me. Gaining the saddle requires several attempts before I find myself sitting once again, then we begin the drudgery just One.. More.. Time. A walk, a trot, around the ring, figure 8 and a short canter. What did I do wrong? That did not seem to come out quite correctly. We shall try again. A walk, a trot, around the ring, figure 8, and a short canter. That time everything seemed just fine I wonder what it was I did differently last time? A trot, a walk, stop and back, side-step. Somehow I am sending the wrong message to him. I try to relax and become one with him. We slowly walk forward, we trot, we canter, we halt. Slowly we walk forward, stop, back, stop, trot, canter, trot, walk, halt and back, halt. No sidestep. As I sit there thinking, I shift my weight on my legs just a little... He side-steps. We do it the other way. Trot forward, stop, side-step left, trot forward, stop, side-step right, walk forward, stop, back, stop, trot forward, stop, side-step right. We are dancing! I loosen the reins a little more and use just my legs and body movements to try to control him. This wonderful horse does everything I ask of him. We canter around the ring and turn into a tight figure 8. I find it is more difficult to remain balanced in the saddle because I am not gripping him as tightly with my legs as when I used only the reins for control. I must discover a 'happy' medium. We continue and his movements follow my every request. We stop in the center of the arena and back, side-step left, side-step right, trot on to complete the figure and return. I have not been using the reins. (you understand that which must be accomplished. You are such a fine fellow, I wish Catherine could see us). When we again reach the center of the arena we stop and I decide to stretch myself a moment. As I raise in the saddle so also does he, with his front legs striking the air. Again I nearly tumble. Then we are back down, side-step left, side-step right, and trot out of the ring back toward the stables. As we approach, Catherine sees us coming and the smile leaves her face. We stop, side-step left, side-step right, back, and easily trot up to greet her, stopping fifteen paces short where we rear into the air and back down. My smile is a mile wide and now her mouth is open for a change. Then she notices the reins. I am hardly using them. She quickly tells me not to dismount and calls to one of the grooms to bring the trainer. "What? What have I done? Catherine, please don't be angry. I'm sorry. Am I hurting him?" "No Teddi, I am not angry. This is wonderful. He has never accepted anyone but me, and now you." As the trainer, Mr. Johnson, comes hurrying up his expression changes to one of concern as he exclaims: "Signora? I thought you did not want her on your horse." "No, wait!" she exclaims, "Teddi go back and allow him to see that which you have just demonstrated to me." "Catherine, is everything well? He is a wonderful horse, I don't want him to be in trouble." "No my dear, it is fine. Simply go back and repeat your performance." I take a deep breath and as one we turn around, the reins still loose upon the saddle, barely held by me except to prevent their fall. We trot back toward the training arena and slow, finally stopping. Slowly we turn to face Catherine and the trainer, "All right you beautiful fellow," I say as I pat his neck, "let's let them know what you may do." We trot toward them, stop, side-step left, side-step right, perform a lazy pirouette until we are once again facing them, walk forward with his front legs pulling up in a kick as though he is strutting until we are about twenty paces away then we rear up with his front feet striking at the air for a few seconds before we come down again with a shallow back kick. Side-step left, side-step right, back and stop. I pat his neck and dismount. "Isn't he Wonderful?" I exclaim happily, as I lead him back to Catherine, "What's his name?" "Su..."the trainer begins. "Sultan," Catherine interrupts, "His name is Sultan. I had not planned for you to ride him as he is very spirited. You each seem to get along well with the other. I will watch you today and tomorrow, if you continue to do well together, you may ride him in the competition." "Really?! Oh Catherine, thank-you. He's wonderful. We will not disappoint you, I promise. Come on Sultan, let's go back to the training arena and practice a little more. Is that all right with you?" He nods his head and we turn toward the arena. I again try several times to mount the saddle and finally receive assistance from Mr. Johnson. Meanwhile Sultan simply stands there patiently waiting for me to finally become seated. I pat his neck, "Thank-you for being so patient with me. I'm sorry I'm not a better rider, you obviously are accustomed to working with someone who knows what they are doing." He nods his head again. It is like he understands everything I say or think. "Teddi," Catherine calls out, "I am sending the trainer to teach you the proper use of the reins, and I shall also be down as soon as I make a telephone call." "All right Catherine, we'll be waiting for you." "You will be working." I sigh and nod my head, then loosen the reins so there is no drag from them and we are off at an easy trot back to the arena. Isn't he just magnificent?

Once back in the arena, we begin anew the easy trot twice around the ring, diagonally across then twice around the opposite direction. Do it again. Now a figure eight, twice around and change direction (we reach the center and perform another lazy pirouette before setting off in the opposite direction). The trainer halts us, "What do you call that, young lady? We have training routines for a reason. Now start again." Drudgery. "Yes, Mr. Johnson." Twice around the ring, diagonal across... 'Now start again.' "Young Lady, while you are completing your diagonal you must change your lead. This will tell him he is about to turn left rather than right. Now start again." Around the ring, diagonal across... "No, No, No! Here, now dismount. Stand before him. There is nothing behind you, back and watch which foot he uses to step out, when you hold his reins just slightly to his right... there... Stop! Now do it again, but hold the reins slightly to his left. There, you see. He started on the other foot. He changes his lead because even when you ask him to walk in a straight line you are telling him you are going to turn. This is not done just with the reins, it is done with your body and your legs. Should you use the reins he will begin to turn when you are riding. By telling him with a very slight shift of your body and legs, he knows you are about to go in another direction, he knows which direction, but until you gently tell him to begin the turn with the reins, he shall go straight. Now start again." Around the ring, diagonal across... "NO! Young Lady, you ride him like you are driving a truck. This horse is a very fine Spanish sports car. He requires very little touch to make a very large change. Don't force your commands at him, make your requests gentle and smooth and he will respond gracefully and properly." Catherine finally arrives and rescues me. She also begins to explain to me how to gently place the slightest command upon the reins while other commands are delivered through the motion of my legs, feet, and body. "Teddi, how is it you were able to do those things you did with finesse, and now you are all thumbs? Don't tell him to turn, ask him to turn. Don't force your path upon him, but allow him to desire to follow the same path you wish to follow. Now, listen carefully. I want you to go to the location over the other side of that jump, and prepare to go around the arena once. When you reach your starting point turn in to the diagonal but only gently make your desires known. The best control is that which may not be detected by an observer. Then continue turning into the other diagonal in a figure eight and return once again to your starting point. Do you understand?" "Yes, Catherine." "Good! Are you ready? Then go and prepare to start." "Oh, Sultan. I hope you know what you are doing. I want so badly to be able to compete and you are my best hope." We walk over to a corner of the course, stop and watch Catherine. "Go" she says. A walk, a trot, a canter, around the ring, turn toward the center, across, and around to complete the eight and back to the start, halt, side-step left, side-step right, raise up and down again. "Teddi, stop showing off." "But Catherine, he is so good. Didn't you see, he did everything and just let me go for the ride to experience it. He is a wonderful horse, and I'm glad he is here to help teach me." "Yes Teddi, I saw it. Now, the jumps have been placed. They are not very high. Be Careful! Do it all again." "Yes Catherine." Over to the corner and wait. "Go." A walk, a trot, a canter, around the ring... over the jumps and finish the eight, halt, side-step left, side-step right. "Teddi!" "I'm sorry Catherine, I just need a little break from the routine and..." "No excuses Teddi." "Yes Catherine." The jumps are only perhaps fifteen inches high, but they cause me to feel like I am going to fly off the saddle. This I will need to practice. "I think that is enough for now, we will continue tomorrow. Take him back to the stables and help the grooms to rub him down. Then ask them to demonstrate to you how to care for a saddle, soon you shall have three of your own which you must protect." "Yes Catherine, I will. May I try once more before I go?" "Not just now Teddi. The jumps will be allowed to remain as they are and you may practice all you like tomorrow." As we, that is Sultan and I, trot out to the path back to the stables I notice the Signore and Jerry sitting up in the stands back where I may hardly notice them. I almost call out to Jerry but catch myself. There are two other gentlemen up there with them. Catherine probably didn't know they were here. I don't remember them coming to watch, I thought they were away somewhere, not on the Estate. He owns it so I guess he may come and go without telling me, they were probably having a meeting and we interrupted it. I will ask Jerry later if he watched any of my practice. I hope he didn't notice me almost fall out of the saddle when we went over the jumps. Upon reaching the stables I dismount. Then I give Sultan a big hug and tell him I think he is the most wonderful horse in the whole world. I think he laughed at me. I need no little time to find someone who speaks English, but am finally able to impart to someone my need to accompany Sultan and learn to care for him. We go to give Sultan a rub-down. The grooms seem to think it is quite a joke, the Signorina is helping to rub-down a horse then clean the saddle. Most especially in a skirt (my culottes). I don't care. All that matters is that Sultan does not become ill or the saddle chafes him. I hope my new ones will not be a problem for him, but then maybe he will like having a new saddle. I need nearly two hours to give him his rub-down and to clean the saddle. Caring for a horse is hard work. I asked them when it is that he has supper but they don't understand. I'll ask Catherine later. "OH!!!!" I scream and spin around to see who it is who is seizing my waist to find Jerry holding me. "Jerry!" I melt into his arms. "Were you there, did you see Sultan and I practicing? Isn't he marvelous?" "Teddi, one question at a time. Yes I saw you practice. My heart sank through the floor when you nearly fell. When did you learn to ride?" "Yesterday and today. Catherine gave me Sultan to ride and he is unbelievable. He is a wonderful horse! OH, could you ask them when they feed him his supper? I want to come back down and help." "You want to help feed this horse? I have a competitor for your affections?" "Well,.. only when I am riding!" "I see, well you will not have time today to help. Come, we must go change and be ready to depart." "Depart? Where are we going? Is it formal? My gown has not been returned from the cleaners as yet." No it is not formal, PaPa and MaMa are taking us to see a competition this evening. We must depart very soon or we will not arrive in time. Come, hurry, the plane shall be here any moment. When we arrive at the Villa ask MaMa how she wishes you to be dressed. Quickly now."

We hurry back and I briefly shower and change into my favorite slacks and green blouse. I covered my hair so it would not become wet. A dab of spray and perfume, my purse and automatic, all the papers and passport. A jacket, the matching pumps, my golden heart and engagement ring ('I know you, I danced with you once upon a dream'). I saw that movie when I was but a very little girl, I still cry, and now it is my reality. Out and quickly down the stairs. No one is here. "Charles, Charles!" Where is everyone? "Jerry? Catherine?" Perhaps out front. No, not out here. "Charles?" "I'm coming Miss." "Oh Charles, I am unable to find anyone. Do you know where Jerry and Catherine have gone? I am to go with them." "Yes Miss, they are down at the airstrip and if you hurry you will be able to catch them. Come, this way is faster." How could it be faster when he does not run? He takes me to the rear of the residence and points off to the east saying: "The airstrip is about two kilometers in that direction miss, there will be a car here in just a moment to take you down." "Thank-you Charles. They are taking me to see a competition because I will beparticipating in one only two weeks from now and I have never seen one. Isn't it exciting?" "Yes Miss, have a pleasant journey and good luck in your preparations. Ahh, here is the car." As he opens the door for me I enter and we are off to the airstrip. I make it to the airstrip just in time. The aircraft has landed and is just opening it's door even as I arrive. "Ah Teddi, good! I was about to send a search party." We board the plane and are off. There is a lot of talk between Alphonse, Catherine, and Jerry with me mostly just thinking. Besides they are speaking in Italian most of the time. When I finally realise we have been flying a very long time I ask, "Where are we going? This seems a very long flight to be going to Milan." "We are not going to Milan," Catherine says, "we are on our way to Madrid, and are making good time. We should arrive with time to spare. At the competition I wish for you to pay particular attention to the intermediate and expert classes. These people have learned all the routines and are very good at combining them. When you compete, it will be as a first level beginner so most of those competing against you will be younger. You are rapidly progressing and I have hopes we may again enter you four or five weeks later where you may compete at the next higher level." "Catherine, if I may change the subject for a moment, Those men who were with Alphonse and Jerry in the stands when I was practicing; were they there to watch me practice?" I ask very carefully, filled with hesitation. "What men, Teddi?" She responds. "Never mind," I answer, "It must have been a coincidence, I was reading more into their presence than was fact. I am relieved."

After the competition we go out to supper. I'm glad, I am simply ravenous. The competitors are all so good, they make me look like the rank amateur I am. They have been riding for years and practicing for many more. I have ridden a total of... let me see... fourteen hours. I do not belong in their class. "Teddi, you will be as capable as they when you too have been competing for so long as have they. For now you will be competing as a beginner. You are not expected to know everything at this time. But you are expected to know certain routines, and without much more practice in the arena you will not know these routines. If the judges tell you which routine they wish to see, you must perform it in it's entirety without hesitation. Practice, Practice, Practice. I make myself clear?" "Yes Catherine." "If you learn well, and care for Su.. ltan and your tack, then you may continue to ride him." "Thank-you. He is fabulous... Jerry is jealous, he says he has a competitor for my affections in Sultan." We all got a laugh at that. That night after we return home, I sleep well, with dreams of that great horse and I dancing to music as one.

I awaken early (about 5:00) and take a long shower, then stretch and exercise to help my poor sore muscles. Back into the shower for a quick rinse. Now, locate my clean culottes and clothe myself, pull on the boots which I cleaned last night when we returned from viewing the competition. Quietly I let myself out of my room and sneak downstairs, walking into the breakfast nook to find Jerry and Catherine seated having breakfast. "Good morning," Jerry says to me, "you have just missed PaPa and I must be on my way also. Come, give me a quick kiss before you go out to your new love." I had been walking over to him but stopped at his comment: "Well, I don't know... Sultan doesn't kiss me and I don't want to seem to be permissive." Catherine's eyes sparkle at my comment and a smile appears upon her lips. "Teddi, please, I am your fiancee." he entreats, as I melt into his arms giving him a big hug and kiss. "Sultan sees you more than do I, my love, it makes me feel as though we are already married. I saw you more when we were only dating" he complains, "Look at the time, I must go. Are you still going out today with Giorani to practice your shooting? If you do, tell him to come to the factory range. Then we may have lunch together, and perhaps also a little competition. One more kiss and I must depart." I make it a kiss to remember, a promise of future happiness, he and I together, then he hurries out of the room. I now turn to Catherine: "Good morning Catherine, as soon as I partake of my roll I shall be out to practice." "Good Morning Teddi. I am happy to see you are taking this seriously. You have been doing extremely well in such a very short time. Work hard and I know you will be an award winner. Should you place First in the First Level next week, I will purchase a horse for you. We will train him together so you will not need to 'borrow' and he will know your quirks as Sultan knows mine." "Catherine... I don't know what to say. If a dog costs half a years pay then a horse would be unbelievably exorbitant. I just don't know... I couldn't possibly pay you back. I... maybe I should stop. After all Sultan is your horse and here I am contaminating him for you." "Teddi, are you a coward? Afraid you cannot place First? What I have seen from you in only two days is remarkable. You are riding with little use of the reins, you are jumping, doing tricks (she wagged her finger at me), and generally acting like a young woman who has found a new joy. It is my money, not yours. Should I desire to give you a gift of a horse then why say no?" "Oh Catherine," I embraced her, "Thank-you. I will work hard and learn all of the routines so I may place First." "Good Teddi, now eat your roll and take the sugar cubes to your new friend. You thought I did not see? I did the same when your age." thoughtfully she added, "Perhaps I should still." "Oh yes, he is so appreciative even though it may give him cavities. Catherine, how long do horses live, and how old is Sultan?" "He has many more years ahead of him. He has just become five and has perhaps eight to twelve more ring years. He should live to be perhaps as old as twenty-five or even thirty, if you don't feed him too much sugar." "Sugar will shorten his life? I will not give him anymore!" as I begin to return the lumps to the condiments bar. "No Teddi, it will just cause him to become fat." "Then he and I must work all the harder so we will not become fat." I finish my roll and small glass of milk, say goodbye to Catherine, and am out the door and on my way to the stable, two sugar cubes in my pocket. It is 6:30 when I arrive at the stables. Mr. Johnson has already given instructions for the preparation of Sultan. A groom brings him to me, saying: "Your training is on board at arena, Signorina. Mr. Johnson say you must learn 'new' commands today." I rolled my eyes and sigh, "Grazie! I suppose I must go see what it is I am to do today." I had been rubbing Sultan's neck and checking the stirrups and cinch. I loosen the cinch and adjust the blanket, fastening the cinch again, but it does not close as snugly as it had before. Now it misses by two notches. Sultan what are you doing? If you want your sugar today you must allow me to properly fasten the cinch so I will not fall and break my neck. Now be a good fellow and exhale. Thank-you. As he finally allows me to tighten it properly once again. I think I am not quite as stiff today as I was yesterday. I must have ridden a horse for twelve to fourteen hours during the last two days and would probably ride about six hours today. Not bad for never riding a horse before Wednesday last. I try several times to gain the saddle before, finally, I may place my foot in the stirrup and raise myself into position. I hope this will become easier. "Oh Sultan, I'm sorry. I forgot to give you your lump of sugar." I pull one from my pocket and hold it forward to him. He carefully removes it from my hand, then looks back as if to admonish me for not having given him two. "Yes, I do have the other one. I'm just saving it until a little later when I shall give it to you." He snorts, I think I'm glad I don't know what he is saying, besides he probably has an Italian accent. Drudgery. I believe I shall listen to some of the recorded music they have in the library. Perhaps I may find something to which we may dance. Also when I return to the Villa I must learn where my gown has gone. Sultan and I have drilled for what seems like hours, we need a rest (I need a rest) so back to the stables where I'll rub him down and brush him. The most difficult part of the brushing is his tail, but he endures it. And most important, the other lump of sugar (and a hug for this big fellow). I understand it is not necessary to clean the saddle each time it is used. So instead carefully wipe it, especially the portion which has been on the blanket. I must have worked poor Sultan hard because the blanket is damp. I'm glad I dried him well. It's a little difficult as I must climb the edge of his stall in order to be tall enough to reach his back, but he co-operates and seems to like me rubbing him with the towels and brushes. I must remind him a little of Catherine, because she seems to care a lot for him. She always wants extra care taken of him. Upon returning to the Villa I discover it is nearly nine-thirty and my gown is nowhere to be found. We call the cleaners who check and are unable to find any gown to be delivered to the Aldoennetti Estate. We have them check for the name Winchester and they find it. It is to be cleaned today, Catherine tells them it had better be, because the gown belongs to the "Warrior Queen" and she may not be pleased if she does not have her gown for the reception this evening. Besides they have had the gown since Monday morning. I could not prevent myself laughing as she relates the conversation to me. They have apprehensively promised the gown will be ready and they shall deliver it to the Estate before three o'clock. "If one is to be royalty, then one should accept the benefits." she said to me. "Is that how I should act at the 'ball', aloof and majestic;" I ask, "or may I just be a young woman who as Jerry's fiancee also happens to be royalty?" "Teddi, just be yourself and let everyone decide for themselves. How are you doing with your riding lessons?" (Drudgery). "I studied new routines this morning, that makes fifteen. I have only to remember the previous ones, and add these. Hopefully the first twenty shall be mastered by Sunday evening and then I may add any that remain. There is so much to learn in such a short time. I am working very hard so I may come in First in my category." "Bravo Teddi. That is what I like to hear, not 'I'll try.'" "Catherine, I do not go to the range for a few minutes; may I listen to music in the library until then?" "Of course. Teddi, you do not need permission, you are a part of the family." "Catherine, you are so kind but I don't feel a part of the family. I am not named Aldoennetti. And there is an eternity before Jerry and I are to be married. Meanwhile I am a guest." "Nonsense, Teddi. I would not expect a guest to study so diligently nor to place first in her competition. I DO expect this of my daughter, or daughter in law." "You have a daughter? Where is she, may I meet her soon?" "YOU, Teddi. You are my daughter. Of all the young women Jerry has brought to this home, you are the first who tries to be... supportive and careful in that which you say and do such that you do not shame the family. You ARE a daughter." "I... I..." am beginning to cry again. "I wish I would stop being such a crybaby. Catherine, you are like a mother to me. I just did not realise I was being a good daughter. I... I'm sorry, now I have made you cry also." "Crying may be a good thing Teddi. Please, would it be shameful of me to ask you to call me 'mother' rather than Catherine? I understand you may have difficulty calling me mother." "Oh, No. I would love to call you... Mother,.. and it is an honor to be your daughter." We embrace each other. "Go Teddi, daughter. Go to your music before we spend the rest of the morning crying together." "I... Thank-you. Thank-you, Mother. If you need me, I shall be in the library."

I run out wiping tears from my eyes. I must train more diligently. I must place first to make Mother proud of me. I must also find the proper music so I may allow her to see Sultan dance. Unfortunately I have had time enough only to find part of one possibility and may not continue looking for music as it is time to go to the range. I shall look again for more prospects for the music I require. After telling Giorani I shall meet him out front, I hurry upstairs to collect my purse and down again to look for Cather... Mother. I find her in the kitchen discussing changes to the menu for this evening: "Mother, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Giorani and I are going now to the range at the factory, then Jerry and I will be having lunch together." Her face becomes radiant when she hears me say 'Mother'. "I promise to practice more as soon as I return." "Thank-you Teddi... Daughter. Enjoy your outing." Saying goodbye, I hurry out to the car and we set out for the factory. "Signorina may I speak?" "Of course Giorani." "It is not good for you to call the Signora 'Mother' unless she asks or you are daughter. Should I and the other bodyguards know of this?" "Oh Giorani. She asked me to call her 'Mother'. I'm so happy. She wants to call me her daughter. Now I simply must place first in the competition, so I'm afraid I will be spending much more time practicing riding. Would you come watch sometime?" "I do not know of such things Signorina, but I will watch if it makes you happy. Also you must practice more on the range. If you are to be Her daughter you must be as capable with firearms as is she." I hadn't thought of that. More practice, so many demands, so little time. We arrive at the factory and Giorani speaks with the guard at the entrance who then salutes us and in we go. The driver comes around and opens the door for me as Giorani is observing the buildings and parking area, together we then go into the building and down to the range. It is quite nice to have someone always opening my doors for me but just once I wish it were proper for me to do it myself. Once we are inside and downstairs at the range we call Jerry to let him know I am in the building (he tells me the gate guard had also called). He says to go ahead and he will be down as soon as possible. Giorani obtains hearing protectors for us and extra ammunition. Today I am to be firing at 75 meters. A long shot, a little more than three quarters of a football field. I mention I need more cleaning supplies for my automatic as I no longer have any cleaning solution or swabs but still have plenty of oil. "I have been oiling the weapon whenever I clean it or every second or third day when it has not been used, just as you suggested," holding the pistol out for him to see. "It just does not need much oil to maintain a nice film on the working parts." We settle into the practice, and he has me fire sixty five-shot groups, six groups on each of ten targets which we send down the carrier one by one. That saves targets and proves I may hit the areas of the target he calls out to me. He goes back to the locker and brings more ammunition forward and more targets. We go through it all again. This time he would have me fire my five shots and then he fires five just below mine. His groups are about half the size of mine and he is using the 11mm. I am determined I will produce a group as small as his. I ask him to obtain more ammunition and we try it again. I think he has binoculars for eyes. How is he able to see the bullet holes such that he may place all of his shots so closely? I give up. He brings over a 9mm pistol and tells me to try using it. The grouping is smaller. My groups are almost as small as those from Giorani's 11mm. "Why is the group smaller? What is wrong with my pistol that I cannot group better?" "There are many reasons, Signorina. The powder charge for each bullet. The rifling in the barrel, the overall barrel length. There are more reasons." "Does that mean I should carry a 9mm? I do not have room in my purse, it is difficult enough with the 7." "No Signorina, you must be aware of the problems but use your little automatic. It has protected you well and unless you are in battle you do not need a larger weapon. Except you must know to use larger weapon." "May I try a few more shots with the 9mm? He sends a new target down the carrier and loads four magazines for me, nine shots each. Nine shots per group, four groups. At 75 meters I have 8 inch (20 cm) groups. Very respectable. "May I have the target?" "Of course." says a familiar voice. "JERRY!" I place the 9mm into 'safe' and lay it on the firing stand then bound over to hug and kiss him. "Please Teddi, not in front of the hired help." "OH... You..." I exclaim as I lightly punch his shoulder and he begins laughing: "I must remember to tell my tailor to pad the shoulders in my new suits." I again exhale an exclamation while giving him an indignant glance. "Oh Jerry, watch this. We send a target down to the 75 meter mark and I fire 10 shots with the 7mm and 10 more with the 9mm. I still prefer my 7mm but at least I do not miss with the 9mm. "Here, my love, try some of this ammunition in your weapon." He hands me two boxes of 25 bullets each. I load my magazines and turn to the target Giorani has just sent down to the marker. Aiming as carefully as I may I rapidly fire until both magazines are empty. When the target is returned, the groups were less than 8 inch (20 cm) in size. Just by changing my ammunition, my accuracy has more than doubled. "It feels different. The pistol hits my hand differently than before and feels more nearly the same each time I fire. I am able to produce a grouping as small as the one made by the 9mm." "This ammunition is called 'Match' ammunition. Each bullet is carefully manufactured to match the others. Variations are VERY small." "I see," as I carefully place what remains of the two boxes into my purse, "Thank-you Jerry." I hold out my hand, "Are there any more?" Giorani begins to laugh. A short exchange of Italian between them and they are both laughing, as I stand there smiling. "How many would you like, my love?" Jerry asks. "Oh, fifteen or twenty should do... boxes that is. And another 7mm automatic or two as well." Again Giorani begins laughing, "Signorina, you are very ?????" He used an Italian word, and I ask Jerry what it means. "Assured. You are not afraid to ask for as much as you hope to obtain. You are much like MaMa." "Mother? Is she like that?" He stops laughing suddenly, as Giorani explains quickly to him in Italian. Jerry becomes a little pale and then is himself again. "Come, if you have had your fill of shooting for today we may go to lunch?"

We walk upstairs to a large cafeteria which is a part of the multi-building complex and there we have a rather delicious meal. It is a 'smorgasbord' (where one may select any of many different items and thereby construct the desired meal). Jerry says it is a typically American concept. I rather like it. The fruit and the pasta salads are heavenly. After the meal, Jerry must return to business and Giorani is to return me to the Villa. "Would it be possible to telephone Mother? I must learn if my gown has been returned; if not, we are much closer to the cleaners and could stop to obtain it while we are out." "Of course Teddi. Come with me." He guides me out to the lobby where he calls the Villa asking if my gown has been returned. When we learn it has not, he asks for his Mother and gives the phone to me when she comes on the line. "Hello, Mother? They tell me my gown has not been returned. What are we to do for this evening? I don't wish to spend a lot of time away from the Villa because I still have much practicing to complete and time grows short but I am near to the cleaners and perhaps we might stop to retrieve my gown?" She asks to speak to Giorani, I tell her he is not here and ask if Jerry will do? The two of them speak rapidly in Italian. When they finish he hangs up the phone and says he will tell Giorani her decision "He shall explain to you as you drive into the city itself, your Highness." "Oh, not again." my shoulders slumping momentarily and then I straighten as tall as possible as I take his cue and become the 'Warrior Queen' once more. Giorani, the driver and I depart immediately after Jerry relates Catherine's decision to him. As we drive, Giorani, places a large. very heavy box upon my lap. "What is this?" I ask him, "It is the ammunition, cleaning supplies, and pistols you requested Signorina." I open the box looking in to find two twins to my automatic, six magazines, forty boxes of match grade ammunition, and more cleaning supplies. I scream. The poor driver almost drives off the road. "Oh, thank-you. Thank-you." "Do not thank me, thank your Jerry." "I lower the window and yell, "Grazie, Jerry." I think the people along the road think a crazy woman is in the car. "Signorina, we are too far for him to hear." "I know Giorani, it is a joke." Stopping at the cleaners we find the gown has not been completed as 'something has been mixed with the blood preventing the proper cleaning'. They will require several more days. We immediately depart for the clothier at which Catherine purchases the majority of her gowns. She has called to notify them of the possibility of an immediate fitting with alterations to be completed in a period of less than three hours. We arrive to learn they are ready and waiting. Again measurements, colour, materials, suggestions and construction of portions of a gown with on-the-spot alterations to fit. I believe I have given them a terrible challenge as I have requested pockets for two automatics. Especially so, as I do not want them to be noticeable but still quickly accessible. Just to the side of my back at my waist are to be the four smaller pockets to hold the spare magazines. It is quite a challenge for the poor designers who are constantly conferring. It was they who decided to place the spare magazines at that location. Something to do with the balance and contour of the gown. It became necessary for them to actually place the weapons and spare magazines into the specially designed areas during the fittings. The weight of these items needs to be taken to account in order to make the gown hang properly without revealing the weapons or spare ammunition are present, especially so as the gown is strapless. They finally succeed and make careful note of the method of design. Should I desire another gown, they may reproduce the specially shaped pockets and folds which will carry the weapons yet completely conceal their presence without revealing anything but a gown to be present. This now means with the maximum load in the two automatics and four spare magazines, I have 50 shots available to me and no longer need carry my clutch nor wear the leg holster when in one of these gowns. By the time four o'clock rears it's ugly head I have my new gown, ordered a second, and partially in response to Jerry's desire to see me in white, this strapless gown is white satin to allow the emeralds to stand out against both the white of the gown and the light tan upon my skin. "Quant'e?... Accetta carte di Euro?" Again, I pay for the two gowns with the Eurocard but little more than for a single gown purchased in London. Here the prices also include the additional costs of the accessories (shoes, clutch, gloves, special pockets, etc.) and a stipend to show my appreciation for the exceptional labor of love they have given and shall give to produce not just two gowns but two walking arsenals. "Grazie, Arrivederla" Time is running short, so we drive like fiends to return to the Villa that I might arrive in time to complete my preparations for the party. Catherine (Mother) says I look very nice in the gown and she warns me that there shall be many young men who will want to dance, and just as many young ladies who will not appreciate my presence. I apologize to her for not returning to accomplish my afternoon training and promise to work even more diligently tomorrow.

I cannot believe it is Saturday morning. My feet hurt!! I must have danced or stood around all night. The only chance I had to sit was while I was snacking. Jerry danced with me EIGHT times, I love to dance with him. At the start of the Ball, his parents received their guests and once everyone had arrived, I entered escorted by Jerry my arm in his. We walk past with everyone bowing or curtseying to me as I pass them, just like a royal ball. I become terribly embarrassed as so many guests refer to me as 'Your Highness' as though I am a queen. I wonder if I am really an embarrassment to the family because I am simply a commoner from 'the Colonies'? Catherine has given me a diamond and emerald tiara to wear, 'just for tonight'. I am wearing my emeralds, of course, and my little bracelet with the 'Aldoennetti' heart on it. The Signore dances with me twice, he is very good and makes me look good as well, even though I hadn't a clue during that one dance. As we dance he comments about my gown, how beautiful I am, how well I am able to shoot and much more. "We must place you in charge of our demonstrations that we may make larger sales. I wish for you to consider this." I tell him I am very flattered but I shall be spending much time learning to ride so well as Catherine that I might be able to bring more trophies to the Aldoennetti name. "Ahh, this too is important. Catherine has been hoping for a young woman to come into the family and continue the tradition. She is very pleased you are so willing." "I enjoy it. I have never ridden before and Sultan is so well trained that he is teaching me." "Sultan? Sultan! I do not remember this horse." "Your wife's horse? She said she has won many trophies with him." "Oh... you mean Satan, you misunderstood his name. Yes, he is very good horse, but dangerous. If he decide he does not like someone then he makes it very bad for them. You are fortunate, he likes only Catherine and no one else may ride him. Now he likes you as well. He is very good, you may learn much from him." "Signore, may I ask you a question?" "But of course." "After you hear it you may not want to answer it." He shrugged his shoulders as he said: "I will decide that when I hear the question. If I decide not to answer I promise I will not think any the worse of you for it." "Thank-you. Signore, I noticed tonight Catherine, I mean, the Signora, told me to wear this tiara much as a small crown for a princess. Nearly everyone refers to me as 'Your Highness'. Even now, everyone defers or gives me a little bow or curtsey if I look their way or talk with them. Has this been an intentional deception by the family? Also, am I an embarrassment to the family because I am not royalty but am simply a commoner? I... I... want so much to be a part. To belong and share in the good times and the bad. I want to help and be supportive to this family. I enjoy the horses and am so happy I may... oh, the dance is over... may we please go outside for a moment to continue talking?" "Of course, Your Highness." he says with a small bow, offering his arm and then guiding me out onto the veranda. We find a quiet corner where we may continue our conversation. "Why did you call me that?" "Teddi, I shall answer your questions in the order you asked them. First, you may believe you are a commoner, but you are Princess. You do not have a choice in this matter, it has been thrust upon you and is mantle you must bear. The press has reported you are the 'Warrior Queen' and everyone is here to see and perhaps judge your ability to live to that title. That everyone after several hours is still treating you regally indicates you have been accepted as royalty and must forever more act as such. Second, you are far from being embarrassment. Jerry has been an embarrassment many times, especially in his choice of women. Now he has met you, and his life is changing. He is becoming the serious son we have wanted him to be. He is beginning to try to plan for a home and a future with a wife and family. That change has occurred because of you. Many women has he taken and we have paid and sent away. Many have threatened the family for money. All have failed. All have been looking only for money. They do not care about the family. You are much different, you are almost like the daughter we have never had. Catherine tells me that you are the daughter she would like to have and I too am falling under your spell. Those who work for the family have even noticed how you treat everyone well and ask for little in exchange. Third and last, I called you 'Your Highness' for several reasons. Everyone expects it as they believe you are of royalty, your demeanor is that of a princess, and you carry yourself well in a conversation, your knowledge is as diverse as is your vocabulary. Truly an indication of royal training. And now one more thing." "Mi scusi, Signore?" "Stop worrying so much and enjoy your party, 'Your Highness'". As he leads me back into the large room, I am laughing more to myself than to anyone else.

Oh no, I should have realised, the ever-present Press. Near the end of the party, I am ushered into an anteroom where five members of the press await. They all stand, the men bowing slightly at the waist and the woman curtsies. The Signore lays ground rules and acts as interpreter. Giorani is my protector and Jerry stands slightly to my side and behind. 'How did You happen to meet the young scion?' 'When are you to be wed?' 'Is it true you are not a Queen at all?' 'Once married, will you be living in your country or his?' I Answer: "I first met him in America. The wedding date has not yet been set, perhaps early next year, much has yet to happen. I am not the reigning Monarch so of course I am not the Queen. I hope to be living wherever my husband intends to live, if that is Italy then I shall live here." 'Once married will you be required to renounce your title to the throne?' From the woman: 'Do you intend to have a large wedding with the Press included or a small private service?' 'Your Highness, You may not remember me, but I wish to offer my apologies for my behavior at the airport if you would accept them.' "I believe I shall accept no further questions. If it is necessary, I shall renounce any title I may have to the throne, for I believe love comes first. We have not discussed the size of the wedding, however, should we decide to invite a large number of guests then we shall invite select members of the Press to act as Pool representatives. I will not have my wedding turned into a circus. And yes, I remember you quite well. You have been tonight quite civil and therefore I answered your questions civilly. Please remember, not everyone is as enlightened as are you. Apology accepted. Thank-you. Lady, Gentlemen." We turn and depart the room. After we are well away, Jerry turns to me, as I take a deep breath and release it. He says quietly, "Your Highness, I think I am very fortunate to have you as my fiancee and I will be very happy to be your husband. Teddi, please, I am trying to ask: 'Will you marry me?'" I burst into tears and throw my arms around him, kissing him and laying my head upon the shoulder of his suit. Between sobs I say: "Oh Jerry, you don't know how much I have wanted to hear you say that. YES, YES! I want to go home and have my operation and return to you and have our children. Of course, I will marry you..." I step back a little, reaching behind and flaring my gown forward, "How do you think I look in white?" "Like a Princess, my love. Captivating, like my Princess." This was a memorable evening in many ways.

The next morning (today) I awaken early and make these entries to my diary, preparing then to go to the training arena to continue to practice. Once dressed I walk downstairs to the breakfast nook and eat a roll and drink a small glass of milk. Picking two cubes of sugar for Sultan I continue out of the Villa and on down to the stables. I must wait as preparations are completed and then thank the groom when he brings Sultan to me. Sultan walks over to me and nuzzles my shoulder as I rub his forehead and talk to him. To mount the saddle requires several attempts as usual, once I am finally seated we walk to the training arena. I have been practicing for an hour at least, more likely two when Jerry stops by to see how I am doing. Sultan and I walk to the stands where Jerry is leaning upon the railing and we talk for a short while. During the conversation I ask if he would assist me in the preparation of a surprise for Catherine and explain what it is I wish to do. He says he would be happy to assist and we begin to conspire. Finally I ask if I might perform for him that which I have worked out so far. I have only two minutes and nineteen seconds of material thus far, an excerpt from Rossini's William Tell Overture. I hand him the tape and he takes it up to the booth where he may play it over the loudspeakers. Having ridden to our starting position we wait for the music to begin. As it starts, Sultan and I slowly walk forward as one, looking left and right with the musical cues like a frightened fawn searching for the hounds, finding none we then begin to graze in the field. We suddenly realise our enemy is present and closing upon us, as the music begins to build. We break into a trot followed very quickly by a canter or slow gallup. In time with the music we take the first jump (none was actually there during this practice but we jump anyway) and move on toward the next, working in a figure eight around the ring. Once each jump has been taken we begin to gradually slow, again looking around, having eluded our pursuers for the moment. "That is all I have at the moment." "Teddi, that is very good. I think Mother will be very pleased when this is completed and you present it to her. When do you want to do this?" "I was hoping I could complete it and perform for her Tuesday a week, the Thursday following will be the Competition. Would you help me to work it all out? " "Most certainly my love. This will be a wonderful birthday present." "Birthday? Is it Mother's birthday?" "Yes. You did not know? I assumed when you wanted to surprise her that you knew. Then why?" "Because she wants to be my Mother and I want to be her daughter. Now I have even more reason to complete it. We must work quickly. I must also continue to practice for the competition, Sultan is ready, I am not." Sultan and I spend perhaps another hour practicing before returning to the stables. I wipe him down and then brush him before I clean the saddle and hang it away. My first saddle arrives Wednesday next, I must ask where I shall hang it. I walk back to Sultan, "You thought I forgot your sugar cubes didn't you? Here is one, don't rush, there is plenty of time, that's a good fellow. Here is the other one. I hope you don't mind me continuing to call you Sultan. You seem more like a prince than a devil to me." He nuzzles my pockets looking for more sugar cubes, "I'm sorry, I brought only two." I say as I stroke his strong neck and muzzle. Returning to the Villa, I change my clothes, clean and polish my boots, then go on down to the laundry with the clothing I have just soiled while riding. Fortunately I have two culottes and have been able to switch them so there is always a set of clean riding clothes. Soon I will have several proper outfits and it will not be so much of a problem.

I begin to look for Jerry finally finding him in the library listening to Rossini. "Ah Teddi, I think I have the answer for you. Would you listen to this?" He played the portion which I had picked earlier and behind it another leisurely paced portion which he had gone on to record. "This will allow you time to catch your breath for the finale." We continued to search through the William Tell Overture for that portion we would use as the finale. Ultimately we accept everything commencing at 3 minutes, 29 seconds and continuing to the conclusion. This gives Sultan and I a long and difficult ride of nearly nine minutes. "Thank-you my husband." I say shyly. Startled he looks at me, a smile slowly crossing his handsome face. "You are most welcome Teddi, my lovely wife." he says as he leans down and gently kisses my lips. Slowly we melt into each others arms and several hours pass during that minute of warm embrace. As we surface he whispers to me: "Teddi, I have become so... so..." "In Love?" "Yes... that too. I cannot believe I have found the girl of my dreams in you. You have become important to me. You I must protect at all costs. I desire you to be the mother of my children, our children. I have asked before, I ask again to be certain. Will you marry me?" "Yes Jerry. Yes I will. I want to be the mother of our children." "I am happy man! When? Today? NOW?" I begin to laugh as he holds me in his arms. "Soon my love, soon. We must make plans, and your parents must be consulted. As I am the bride somehow I must find the money to pay for the wedding." "I will pay. What could it cost, 300,000,00? 500,000,00?" "JERRY!!!!" I exclaim, shock evident upon my face. "No children! We shall pay as our wedding present to you." Jerry looks over toward the door as I spin around to see Alphonse and Catherine standing there. "Oh!", I exclaim as I cover my mouth and nose with my hands. "Enough," Catherine says as she herds Jerry and Alphonse out of the room: "Are you both unable to see she is about to burst into tears? Now out, we girls need to talk." She was quite correct, as Jerry departs I do indeed burst into tears. "Mother! I'm so frightened. I love him. I want to bear his children. I want to help him in his work. I..." "Hush! Here, come outside with me."

She leads me through the glass doors onto the veranda and down to the terrace where we slowly follow the walkways through the gardens and lawn. "Alphonse told me of your responses last night to the Press. You do very well. He, as do I, enjoy your innocence and your desire to please. Jerry has completed his schooling in the United States and is about to go to England for his final schooling prior to working full time for the family. These next years are important to his education and he cannot be providing for a wife while he studies. He cannot be distracted from those studies. We do not desire to prevent the marriage, far from it. We see this as a very good thing for him. Teddi, what I am saying is... we want you to live here... with us, during those years. Your Jerry will be lose and you may visit each other frequently. We would like you to wait until next summer to be married. This will afford each of you the opportunity to continue to see each other and learn if you truly will be happy together, and I think you will. It will also allow Jerry to go to school without concern for your safety while you may work for the company and follow your new passion." "My new passion?" "Horses, my dear, Horses..." I smile as she continues. "Alphonse has told me he has offered you a position within the company, but you have not yet accepted, is this true?" "Yes. He offered to place me in charge of weapons demonstrations whenever we go out to make a sale. He seems to believe it will increase sales." "I believe he is correct. No one would expect someone so young, much less a woman, to be in charge of the firearm demonstrations. They will be quite surprised to find you are so capable, most of this they shall attribute to the weapons themselves. This is a good position and will allow you time to continue the Eventing. Do you intend to accept?" "I believe I shall. It will require a great deal of practice as I need be better than the men. However, I must return to the States for a few months before I may begin." "Must you go, my dear? What could possibly be there that you must leave?" "I... I... Catherine, Jerry is completely aware and now I shall inform you. I am not that which I seem to be. I must have an operation. Preparations have been made for it and I must return to receive that operation. I... presently cannot safely bear children, but after the operation will be quite able to do so. I made the arrangements except for the actual operation date shortly before coming to Europe. Until I met Jerry I had no reason to have it. Men wanted only to have sex with me and did not care about my feelings. That I would not, forced them to either wait or go away. They always chose to go away, fortunately. When Jerry and I spent months dating he never once asked or tried to have sex with me. He has been very caring and so I made arrangements to prepare for the operation hoping that someday he would ask me to marry him. The medications to help in that preparation I brought with me on this trip." "Those are the pills I have seen you taking with your meals?" "Yes... I... The... When I was born, I was like a Siamese twin. There is not much of the other connected to this body but there is enough to prevent my giving birth. Although I may mate, the attempted act of giving birth would kill both my child and myself. By removing that small portion which is the other and making some other minor corrections I shall be completely capable of mating and safely birthing our children. The doctors have said I am very fertile. I...", am sobbing, "I love him. I want to provide many children for him." "Teddi, you say Jerry knows of this?" "Yes, I did not deceive him. He has been told again and again." "Then you have nothing to fear. If what Alphonse and I saw this morning is any indication, Jerry loves you deeply. Come, let us return to the residence. And Teddi, should you not be at the stables practicing?" I begin to laugh. It is very difficult to laugh and sob at the same time. After choking a little I finally was able to tell her I went out very early to practice and completed more than two hours practice, cleaned the saddle, wiped down and brushed Sultan. "I know his name is Satan, but he is a Sultan to me. Also, he does not seem to mind my calling him Sultan. Mo... Oh... Catherine, may I still call you Mother?" "But of course, Teddi. Why would you not?" I throw my arms around her saying: "Thank-you Mother. I was so afraid, I... I don't know what I thought. I simply cannot allow myself to lose Jerry. Thank-you. Thank-you." Sobbing again. "You have much emotion, daughter. Do you still feel overwhelmed?" "No,.. just relieved. I was so afraid that when you and the Signore learned of my deformity you would send me away and I would never see Jerry again." "Teddi. It shall be our little secret. Alphonse need never know. You shall return to the States, have your operation and come back to us ready to be an Aldoennetti. Come, let us tell Alphonse you will accept the position he has offered. Shall we?" "Yes. Oh, yes. And Mother, Jerry actually said the words to me, he said: 'Teddi, will you marry me?'" "I should hope you said yes to him." "Oh, I did, I did. I'm so happy, and he likes me in white... Mother..." I suddenly wail, "Might I wear a white gown to my wedding. That means I am untainted to come to Jerry, but I have been raped." In tears again, "This means I must not wear white? I, I..." "Daughter no, all is well. You could not prevent this. You were a victim, do not make yourself a victim again. Of course you may wear white." "Thank.. Thank-you!" We return slowly to the residence giving me time to dry my tears before we find Alphonse talking with Jerry, much as Catherine had been speaking with me. Catherine speaks first, telling him their daughter would like to accept his offer of a position with the company. "Bravo! You must realise this will mean you have much to learn, daughter." "Yes I,.. Signore?.. Daughter?", I scream and fly over to hug him, and then do the same to Jerry. "Jerry, you are correct. She is very emotional," the Signore observes. "Alphonse, I seem to remember you said the same about me when we were first married." "Yes, Yes. Those were the start of our good times. May they never end."

We take our luncheon together on the veranda and continue the discussion. In addition to the riding practice everyday (twice a day), I am now to come to the range at the factory to practice and to learn to use and clean the rifles and automatic weapons. Could you imagine me firing a machine pistol at a target and teaching others in the handling and cleaning of such weapons? My mornings will begin before five such that I shall be riding before six. Completed by eight, change and arrive at the factory for four hours of weapons and office training (then luncheon with Jerry), finally returning to the Villa. Once again to change adding two or three hours more of riding. Whatever time then remains, Jerry and I may have together (until he must leave for school in October). After that time we shall be together only every other weekend to continue our relationship and 'see the sights'. With Luncheon over, Jerry and I excuse ourselves and retire to the library where we continue to listen to music and I attempt to put together a demonstration to match. Soon it is two-thirty so I go upstairs to change into riding clothes. Sultan and I continue our drudgery. I'm certain he must be tired of it all since he knows the routines. Unfortunately I am a bit slow learning and have some difficulty recalling the fifteen I have 'learned' as I add the additional five. This is not becoming any easier. It seems to me that the new routines include portions which were prior short routines. Of all of these I am expected to learn as a beginner, I will probably find the last one is simply all the others added together. Sometimes I begin to think Sophia is the intelligent one. She probably allowed them to think she had no capacity for this and as a result she may do with her time as she wishes. Then again, I would never have met Sultan. He is so intelligent, and patient. When we do a routine and I make a mistake he just stops. After thinking for a while I determine what error I have made and we go on. Mother probably has me riding him so he may teach me. Imagine, being taught by a horse. "Oh, I'm sorry Sultan. I just thought of something funny." I'm glad he cannot read my mind, he would probably stop teaching me. I cannot believe how intelligent he is.

 

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