Several years ago I wrote the story HEELS which told the tale of a man and a magical pair of stiletto heel pumps which allowed the gentleman the ability to change into a fully functional female on a purely elective, part-time bases. Well, as fate would have it, another pair of those rather unique high heels has come into the possession of yet another young man. In a serialized, five part Tales of an Amateur Gynecologist (TAG), I have tried to explore how an avowed heterosexual male might use such heels to his advantage.
TAG 1 - Practice Makes Perfect
TAG 2 - Best of Both Worlds
TAG 3 - Inside Trader
TAG 4 - Balancing Act
TAG 5 - Confession is Good for the Soul
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Tales of an Amateur Gynecologist 3 – Insider Trader
by: Deane Christopher © 2000
At precisely eleven twenty two Jo entered the Brentwood Mall’s crowded food court only to have Beth Hammereman greet her with a wave and a smile, followed shortly with a big hug and a friendly peck planted squarely on Jo’s right cheek.
"My, my!" Jo managed. "I take it from your greeting that you had a really good time last night!"
Unable to contain herself, Beth giddily replied that she had, breathlessly adding that she couldn’t wait to tell Jo all about it.
Suggesting that the two of them go to an eating establishment that offered a little more privacy and a whole lot better cuisine than did the open-air food court, Beth informed Jo that lunch that day would be on her. Ten minutes later, after a short stroll across the mall’s sprawling parking lot, the two young women were seated across from one another in a booth at a recently opened Outback Steakhouse.
Having decided to just order several different appetizers, which they would split, instead of a luncheon entrée apiece, the two of them prudently waited until their waitress had taken their order before returning to the discussion at hand
"So," Jo, knowing that it was more or less expected of her, asked, "what movie did you guys go see?"
"We didn’t go see a movie."
"You didn’t? But, didn’t you tell me the other night that that was what the two of you were planning on doing after diner?
"I mean, I seem to recall you saying something or other about the two of you going out to see that new Mel Gibson movie."
"Yes! That was the plan."
"So," Jo feigned curiosity, "if the two of you didn’t go out to the movies, what’ya end up doing?"
"Well…" Beth, who was noticeable embarrassed and therefore, groping for the right way to express herself, replied rather sheepishly, "While I’ve never done anything like this before, you know, because I’m simply not that kind of girl! You know, that goes and does something as forward as that! Well, that’s to say that I wasn’t that kind of girl! You know, until last night that is!
"You see, Jo, after the two of us left the restaurant, as we were making our way out to Joe’s Jeep Cherokee, from out of no where, I hear myself suggesting that we forget about the movies and head back to my place instead!"
Jo, pretending to be aghast, gleefully exclaimed, "You didn’t?"
"Call me a brazen hussy, but I did!
"I mean, I’m anything but a prude, Jo! But, you’ve got to believe that I’ve never – Ever! – did anything like that before in my life!
"Generally. Though, I have made an exception or two in my time, I wait until at least the third date before I would even consider going to bed with a guy!"
"So, I take it that the two of you really hit it off?"
"Yeah…" Beth, as an impish smile brightened up her face, conspiratorially replied. "You could say that…
"I mean to tell you, Jo! I have never – Ever! - connected with a man like I did with that Joe of yours last night! It was phenomenal! Truth was: he was phenomenal! And, would you believe: there was no awkwardness whatsoever! I mean, I could talk to him as easily and effortlessly as I can talk to you!"
* * *
Jo had to bite her tongue on that one. If she hadn’t, she never would have been able to keep a straight face.
Unbeknownst to an unsuspecting Beth, she had in fact been talking to Jo last night. Fact is: it was none other than Jo who had taken Beth out to dinner! Furthermore, it was Jo who Beth had so impulsively invited back to her apartment. And, it was Jo who Beth had so giddily invited into her bedroom to assuage those surging carnal needs of hers.
What Beth didn’t know and, might never know, was that Jo was only a woman on a purely elective, part-time bases. At all other times, the vivacious strawberry blonde bombshell that was seated across the table from Beth Hammerman was in fact, Joe Grant. The very same Joe Grant that had made love to Beth on the previous night.
Ten years earlier, Joe had come into the possession of a remarkable pair of stiletto heel pumps, pumps that possessed the uncanny magical wherewithal to transform him into a beautiful woman whenever he put them on. Though he retained a manly mindset irregardless of his body’s sexual affiliation, once he got past the initial ignominy involved in his being magically ensconced within such a bodacious body, Joe found that he soon began to relish spending a good portion of his leisure time as a woman.
Oddly enough, it was the retention of that manly mindset that reared up and bit Mr. Joseph Grant squarely on that succulent and libido torquing derriere of hers. The heels, unless receiving a mental directive from Joe to do otherwise, turned him into the physical personification of his own wet dream. Understandable, starting from day one, the heels not only turned Joe into a drop dead gorgeous sexpot, but they also turned him into an unmitigated narcissist who was so in love-lust with his herified self that it damn near drove him right over the brink.
And, it only got worse.
The insider information that Joe gained from experimenting around with all those new and nifty erogenous zones that the heels had so graciously fitted him out with whenever he was a she, gave him an edge that other men lacked. That’s to say that, as a direct result of his spending a fair amount of time as a girl himself, Joe became one hell of a lover, so much so, that one of his former girlfriends starting referring to him as an amateur gynecologist. And, as fate would have it, that off-hand remark stuck to him like glue; gaining him a reputation that had girls fawning all over him for the chance to experience first hand if that reputation of his was well merited or not.
However, as Joe’s proficiency as a slow-handed lover of women increased exponentially, his own sexual satisfaction quotient plummeted severely. While he always enjoyed sex, there were times when he found the gratification lacking. Unfortunately, most of the woman he took to bed weren’t near as concerned about the pleasure he derived from the exchange as he was of theirs. Far to many of them thought that a half-hearted lick and a promise ought to be sufficient to address his needs.
Joe’s problem was: he was envious of women he bedded. He longed for the day when a woman would go down on him and perform the selfless act of cunnilingus on his feminine alter ego with the same sort of gusto that he himself employed when administering to another woman’s carnal needs.
Joe, who thought of himself as heterosexual male on one hand and a homosexual female on the other, knew exactly what he needed. He needed a woman who was bisexual, a woman who could administer to those rather unique carnal needs of his. And, if he had to apply situational ethics in an all out effort to locate a bisexual woman with whom he was compatible with, so be it. He would do whatever he deemed necessary.
Four years earlier, having grown weary of the feckless game of carving notches on his thighbone, Joe came up with a better way to continue his search for a bisexual mate. Using his feminine alter ego to act as pointman, Joe – as Jo - would first befriend a prospective dating candidate. Then, once he had a good feel for the woman’s likes and dislikes, he would casually arrange a blind date for himself. Using the personal insights he had gathered while operating as a female, Joe found that he could easily worn his way into damn near any woman’s heart. Knowing what buttons to push and when to push them gave Joe a distinct advantage. Often, the phrase, "Liking taking candy from a baby." came to Joe’s mind.
To his chagrin and consternation, early on Joe found out for himself that a lot of women, especially the more immature ones, professed wanting certain qualities in a man when they really desired something altogether. That is to say, that while they claimed to be looking for a kind, compassionate man, what they were really looking for was: an egotistical SOB who liked to party hardy and did not give a rat’s ass for the woman they were with. So, in order to avoid all the hassles involved in such an eventuality, Joe developed a non-threatening, to be almost subliminal, coquettishly couched cross-examination technique that was calculated to ferret-out such misrepresentations.
Though Joe dated far fewer women than he had before he began using his feminine alter ego as a go-between, the relationships he managed to embroiled himself in lasted a hell of lot longer and where far more gratifying. Truth be told: Joe had fallen in love with several of the women he had dated over the past four years. Trouble was: all of the women he fell in love with were confirmed heterosexuals. There was not a bisexual in the bunch. And due to the fact that he was unwilling to give up his pervasive addiction to spending a fair amount of time as a female himself, Joe knew that a long-term relationship with a heterosexual woman was out of the question. He had to find a woman who was a bisexual or else, face the ominous prospect of spending the rest of his life all by his lonesome.
Though he feared that Beth Hammerman was as straight as the day is long, the mixed signals that she gave off, lent Joe the faint, to be almost non-existent, hope that she might harbor some sort of latent bisexual tendencies, that could, if nurtured carefully, be brought into play. Beth, as Jo had come to realize, was one of those touchy, feelly kind of woman, the kind of woman that seemed to be always invading another woman’s personal space. And, the woman who personal space Beth seemed to enjoy invading most was none other than Jo’s.
Added to that was the fact that Jo perceived in Beth Hammerman a kindred spirit who shared many of the likes and dislikes that she herself did.
Keenly aware that she could be letting herself in for a traumatic and debilitating emotional let-down if things did not work out the way she hoped and prayed they would, Jo had taken a shine to Beth right from the get-go. Trouble was: Jo could not help herself. She had never met anyone she had taken to the way she had taken to Beth Hammerman. Though she aggressively wallowed in a state of self-denial, Jo knew that she was smitten with Beth Hammerman, so much so that, bisexual or not, she had actually begun toying around with the notion of revealing the truth about herself and those magical transsexualizing stiletto heels of hers.
Aware of the fact that she might be headed straight for disaster if Beth did not pan out to be the latent bisexual female that she so ardently desired to make a life with, Jo, throwing caution to the wind, had come to an emotionally arrived at decision. Beth was well worth the risk she was taking.
* * *
"See! I told you that there was nothing to worry about and that the two of you would hit it off!" Jo, having quickly composed herself, replied brightly.
"Yes… Yes, you did!
"But, I never though we’d hit it off as well as we did!"
"So…" Jo, curious as hell to get feedback on her performance of the night before, prompted. "I take it that he was good in bed?"
"Good! He was terrific!
"Let me tell you, Jo! I never had a man make love to me the way he did!
"I mean, it was like he… he… he…
"Damn! What’s that darn word I’m looking for?
"Anticipated! That’s it! The word I’m looking for is anticipated!
"I mean to tell you, he pretty much anticipated my every want! My every desire!"
"He did, did he?"
"He most certainly did!
"But," Beth, with a noticeable degree of hesitancy, began to broach a subject that she clearly was uneasy with; "I guess I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Am I?"
Seizing the opportunity that Beth had just presented her with, Jo, eager to clarify I few things right up front, carefully constructed her rebuttal so as to avoid telling an outright lie.
"I think I know where you’re going with this, Beth!" Jo began, as she reached across the table and compassionately took the other woman’s hands in her own. "And, if you’re thinking that Joe and I have made love, you’re wrong! Joe and I have never slept together!
"First off, you might as well know right now that I don’t swing that way!
"And, even if I did, since Joe and I happen to share the very same parents, that would be incest! And, as kinky as I might be at times, I’m not that kinky! In other words, I don’t go in for incest!
"Alright?"
Overjoyed to hear that she and her new best friend hadn’t shared the same lover, an emotionally relieved Beth found herself unable to speak at that moment and so, could only offer Jo a nod of affirmation.
"Besides, if I did have designs on Joe, would I have set you up with him in the first place?"
"No… No, you wouldn’t…" Beth meekly stammered.
"So, why didn’t you tell me that he was your brother?"
Skirting the issue, Jo ignored the question as she countered with a question of her own
"Would it have made any difference to you if I had?"
"No… No, I don’t suppose it would have…"
"Didn’t think it would…
"Look! The important thing is: you appear to like him! And, rest assured: he definitely likes you!"
"He does?"
"Oh, yeah!" Jo was being as truthful as she could be. "He likes you a lot!"
"He told you that?"
"No… Not in so many words… But, take it form me, girl! Knowing Joe the way I do, I can tell you without any reservations whatsoever, that he really likes you a lot!"
"That’s a very nice thing to know." a very relieved Beth managed with a satisfied sigh.
"So, if what you saying is correct, do you think I can expect a call from that brother of yours anytime soon?"
"Oh, yeah! Mark my word, Beth! He’ll be calling you! Fact is: I suspect that you’ll be hearing from him either Monday or Tuesday evening! You know, once he gets back in town!"
* * *
"So," Beth, in an effort to assuage her curiosity, asked, "just how often do you see this brother of yours?"
"Well, though you might find this hard to believe, given the fact that we live under the same roof, I rarely if ever see him.
"I mean to tell ya! We’re like those two ships passing in the night that you’re always hearing about ad nauseam."
"That’s weird!"
"I know! But, it seem that whenever I’m home, he’s out and whenever he’s home, I’m out!
"You see, I sleep upstairs in the loft bedroom while Joe sleeps downstairs in what use to be my parents’ guestroom."
"Oh!" there was a tinge of disbelief conveyed in Beth’s reply. "So, how come you never mentioned the fact that you had a brother and that the two of you live together?"
"Probably, because it just never crossed my mind before. You know, due to the fact that I rarely if ever see him…"
* * *
"Jo…" Beth broached the subject tentatively. "Please! Correct me if I’m wrong. But, didn’t I hear you say something or another about your not swinging that way?"
"Yes." Though her heart was in her throat, Jo’s reply was stated as matter-of-factly as she could manage. "Your ears weren’t deceiving you. You did hear me say that I didn’t swing that way."
"So," Beth was noticeably ill at easy with the subject matter," am I to take it that that’s your way of telling me that you’re a lesbian?"
"Yes… I’m afraid so…
"Look, Beth!" Jo, aware that this was a pivotal point in their relationship, stammered. "I know I should have been more forthright about all of this! You know, as in I should have told right up front! You know, about me and my being a lesbian! But, it’s hard for me to admit that I’m a woman who likes other woman! You know, sexually speaking!
"I mean, while I’ve been meaning to tell you all along - you know, about this – shall we call it proclivity of mine! – to put it bluntly, I was afraid to! I just didn’t want to spoil the friendship we seem to be building!
"You see, Beth, I didn’t have - what you would call – any intimate friends! You know, the kind of friends that you can really pour your heart out to and talk about anything and everything with! You know, until you came along!
"I mean – And, you’ve said so yourself! – it’s like you and I have known each other all our lives! You know, and just not these past six or seven weeks or so!
"Beth! Please understand! You’re the best friend I’ve ever had! And, I couldn’t bear to lose your friendship! You know, over to the fact that I’m a lesbian!"
It was Beth’s turn to reach across the table and take her companion’s hands in her own.
"Oh, Jo!" she began earnestly and empathetically. "Would you please stop babbling!
"Look! I listened to what you’ve had to say! Now, it’s your turn to listen to what I have to say!"
"Alright?"
An apprehensive Jo, within the midst of the sham of a stifled sniffle, meekly replied, "Okay…"
"Now, as for our friendship is concerned! Please! I need you to understand that you have nothing to fear in that regard! Believe me! I don’t want to lose your friendship any more than you do mine!"
"You don’t?"
"No, Jo! I don’t!
"Our friendship is as important to me as it is to you!
"In other words, Jo, I’m not going anywhere!
"Now, as to the lesbian business, it’s not a problem. You know, just as long as you understand that I’m not a lesbian…"
* * *
A few minutes later, as the two of them waited for their waitress to bring them their respective desert selections, an extremely curious Beth returned the subject of JO’s avowed lesbianism.
"So, tell me something!"
"Sure! Shoot!"
"Do you find me sexually attractive?"
"Beth, are you really sure you want me to answer to that question? You know, because you might not like the answer I give you! And, the last thing I want to do right now is to say something that might seriously jeopardize our friendship!"
"First off, no matter what you say, you’re not going to jeopardize our friendship! And secondly, I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want to hear what you have to say!
"I mean, come on, Jo! I would think that by now you would know me well enough to know that I’m not like a lot of women that are out there! You ought to know by now that I don’t mince words! And, I don’t pussyfoot around! I tell it like it is! And, when I ask a question, I want an honest answer! Okay?"
"Alright, then! Have it your way!" Jo’s reluctant reply was laced with the raw edge of apprehension. "If you must know, the answer to your question is: yes! Not that I have any intentions of doing anything at all about it, I’ve got to admit that I find you very sexually appealing!"
"You do, do you?"
"Yes!" Jo, knowing that it was the wrong thing to do under the circumstances, reflexively snapped. "Damn it all to hell and back, I do!
"I mean, I wish that I didn’t! But, as much as I hate to admit it, I do!
"Hell, Beth! While I know you aren’t going to like hearing me say this, I’ve even caught myself fantasizing about the two of us from time to time! You know, doing the sort of things that we lesbians do! You know, the kind of stuff that you probably find both icky and disgusting!"
"You know something, Jo? Had any other woman but you told me what you just told me, I think I would have been offended. Offended and, to a degree, threatened! However, I don’t find your remarks the least little bit offensive or threatening!
"Oddly enough, I found what you just said very flattering!"
"You do?" Jo’s rejoinder conveyed as sense of incredulity.
"You mean to tell me that you’re not upset with me? You know, because I’m attracted to you sexually?"
"No, Jo! I’m not! I’m not upset or disturbed in the least little bit!
"It’s like I said before, I actually find it all rather flattering!
"So, I ask you: what does that say about me?"
* * *
"Jo!" Beth, having just swallowed another piece of the sinfully delicious slice of the cheesecake she had ordered, conspiratorially intoned. "I have a little confession of my own to make.
"Maybe, the reason I didn’t take offense or, shall we say, overreact when you told me that you’re a lesbian was because I was once involved in a lesbian relationship myself."
Jo, as ecstatic as she was to hear her companion freely admit to such a thing, restrained herself from telegraphing the mass amounts of unfettered excitement she was feeling as she forced herself to nonchalantly reply "You were, were you?"
"Yes! Yes, I was!
"It happened back when I was in college and it only lasted about a month, if that.
"You see, I had just broken up with a guy who I was madly in love with and had plans on marrying after the two of us graduated. You know, because I found out through the campus grapevine that the bastard was screwing around behind my back! You know, with not one, but two of my sorority sisters!"
"So anyhow, to make a long story short, Jo, after I pulled the plug on the relationship, I mean to tell ya: I was one hurtin’ frog! You know, if ever there was one!
"I mean, though I’m probably blowing the whole thing out of proportion, it felt like I was on a perpetual crying-jag for a good couple of weeks after the break-up! You know, as in I was no good for nothing!
"So anyhow, one night, when I was really down in the dumps, crying my eyes out, my roommate, who, I should mention, made no bones about being lesbian, starts to console me.
"How, why or when it happened I have no idea, but all of a sudden I realize that my roommate is fondling me! You know, as in she playing around with one of my boobs!
"I don’t think she was even aware of what she was doing! You know, as in I don’t think it was in any way intentional! You know, because as soon as she realized that I realized what she had been doing, she immediately stopped and began to profusely apologize for over-stepping the bounds of our relationship.
"I mean to tell you, Jo! My roommate was really upset with herself.
"Fact is: she was more upset with herself then I ever was with her. I mean, she was so upset that I ended up having to console her. You know, in order to get her to settle down and not feel guilty for doing what she had done.
"Now, I not exactly sure exactly what happened next or, who did what to whom, but the next thing I know, the two of us are sprawled out on my bed going at it hot and heavy! You know, as in I’m following her lead! You know, engaging in a little game of tit for tat!"
"You’re shittin’ me! Right?" Jo, with a half-checked chuckle, gleefully chimed in.
"No! I swear to God I’m not, Jo! I’m telling you the truth!"
"Yeah! Right! Sure you are!" Jo, registering a sense of disbelief, mockingly charged.
"But, I am, Jo! I’m telling you exactly what happened!"
"And, you want me to actually believe that you enjoyed it?"
"Yes! Though I have a hard time reconciling what I did back then now, I’ve got admit that I did enjoy it!"
"Okay! I think I’ve got the picture! The two of you engaged in a little heavy petting and – I would guess! – some French kissing and maybe a little grab ass to keep things interesting!"
"Oh, we did a lot more than that!"
"Alright! So you let this lesbian roommate of yours go down on you! No big deal!"
"What would say if I told you I went down on her?"
"You didn’t!"
"I most certainly did!"
"Yeah! But, I bet you didn’t enjoy it! I bet you did it only because you felt obliged to it!"
"Well, Miss Little Smartass, while you might win one of those bets, you’d lose the other!
"I’ll grant you that I might have felt obliged to… a… a…
"Damn! What’s that word I’m looking for?
"Reciprocate." Jo tentatively offered.
"That’s it! That’s the word I was looking for! Reciprocate!
"Now what was I saying?
"Oh! That’s right! I was saying that while I might have felt an obligation to reciprocate – You know, and do unto her as she had done unto me! – once I got past my initial revulsion to going down on her, I thoroughly enjoyed making her squeal and squirm, very much the way she had me squealing and squirming!"
"So, what you’re telling me is: you were once an active member of the girls only Clit-lickers Club?"
"Well, while I’ve never heard it referred to like that before, but, yeah… I guess I was at that…."
"Okay! So, at a vulnerable moment in your life, you went one on with another woman and found that you enjoyed being both the recipient and – I guess we could say the benefactor – or better yet, the instigator of the selfless act of cunnilingus.
"So what! No big deal! You had fling! You engaged in a lesbian act on one occasion and then, for some reason or another, you came to your senses and decided that being a lesbian wasn’t your cup a tea."
"In a round about manner of speaking, I’d have to say you’re right, Jo. Eventually, I did come to the conclusion that I wasn’t cut out to be a lesbian. However, I need to correct a misconception I think you may have formed."
"And, what just misconception might that be?"
"That I only engaged in lesbian sex once."
"You mean to tell me that did it more than once?"
"Oh, yeah! My roommate and I got into it hot and heavy over the course of the next few weeks!"
"And, you liked it?"
"Liked it? I absolutely love it!
"I mean, I didn’t love her! Nor, did she love me! However, I must say that I loved getting it on with her! I loved it when she went down on me! And, though I still can’t believe that I’m saying this, I loved it when I went down on her!"
"So, what happened? You know, to the relationship?
"I mean, to hear you tell it, you were well on your way to giving up men altogether and becoming a full fledged lesbian!"
"Well, let’s just say that she starting getting kinky on me!"
"While I don’t mean to pry, and you sure as hell don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I have to say that I’m kind of curious as to what you mean by kinky." Jo gentle urged.
"Though I wasn’t aware of it at first, she was into all that bondage and S & M crap!"
"Oh! You mean to tell me that she was – Oh, what in the hell do you call it?"
"A dominatrix!" Beth offered.
"Yes! That’s it! That’s it exactly! A dominatrix!
"You mean to tell me she was a dominatrix?"
"Yes. But, she started off by pretending to like the more submissive role. You know, as a ploy on her part to – I guess you could say. – fish me in.
"You see, Jo, one night about three weeks into our relationship, my roommate produced some handcuffs and a couple pairs of tattered pantyhose, informing me as she did so she had found that being restrained intensified the pleasure she derived. Then, having explained to me how she wanted me to go about it, she asked me to please tie her down on her bed."
"So did you? Did you tie her down?"
"Yes…. Yes, I did… But, I also told her that while she might like it, I made it quite clear that I was sure that I wouldn’t! You know, enjoy being tied down!"
"Oh! I think I see where this is going…"
"Kind of thought you would!"
"Let me guess!
"I’ll bet that she didn’t put any pressure on you to try it for - Shall we say! - a couple of days! Right? You know, as in: she made the offer to let you try, but never went so far as to push it?"
"Go on!"
"Then, one night, after maybe the third or fourth time that she had you tie her down, she very innocently asked if you might like to reverse roles and give it a try. And, when you said no, I’d be willing to bet that she started getting a little belligerent about it! You know, to the point where she was being so insistent that she was damn near demanding that the two of you reverse roles!"
"Damn, you’re good! Save that it was fifth time and not the third or fourth, you got what happened pretty much down pat! How’d ya know! I mean, are you some kind of mind reader of something?"
"Basically, it’s one of those been there, done that kind of situations!"
"It is?"
"Oh, yeah!"
"You mean to tell me that you almost got fished in by the same sort of ploy that I almost did too?"
"You’re darn tootin’ I almost did! Be assured, I was a naïve young woman once upon a time myself…"
* * *
"So," Jo said, "I take it that experience more or less soured you to getting sexually involved with another woman ever again?"
"Actual, Jo, that experience, plus the one that proceeded it – You know, the one involving that sorry son of a bitch that was cheating on me! - pretty much turned me off on getting involved with anyone for quite some time.
"I mean to tell ya! It was months before I even went out on a date!"
"That’s perfectly understandable…
"So, that was it?" Jo sought an explanation "I take it that you never once entertained the idea of trying your luck with another woman ever again after that?"
"Entertained – yes! Pursued – no!
"You see, Jo, while I really did enjoy being with another woman – you know, sexually speaking – I’d have to say! – All things considered! – I much prefer being with a man.
"I’ll have to admit that for awhile there, I was pretty screwed up in the head and had no idea what I wanted!
"But, I know now! I want the very same thing my mother and both of my grandmothers wanted! I want a husband! You know, who loves me! And then, I want a family!
"I want to be a mother!
"I mean, while a career’s fine for the here and now, there is no way in hell I want to be a career woman! What I really want is to be a stay at home mom and raise my own kids. And, if that means that my husband and I will have to make sacrifices, so be it! We’ll make whatever sacrifices that we deem necessary…"
* * *
After the damn near obligatory squabble over how the check would be handled, Jo, having lost the argument, changed the subject by saying, "Hey! I’ve got an idea! Instead spending all afternoon over at the mall shopping like we said we were going to do, why don’t the two of us go see that Mel Gibson movie that you and Joe were going to go see last night! And, since you treated me to lunch, the movies will be my treat! Okay?"
* * *
"Beth!" Jo said in voice that was just a smidgen louder than a whisper. "I sorry to have to do this to you, but I just remembered that I have an important call that I have to make and if I remember correctly, I believe there’s a pay phone or two out in the lobby. So, if you’ll just save my seat and make sure nobody messes with either my drink or my jacket, I’ll be back in a jiff!"
Once in the lobby, Jo located a bank of pay phones and quickly placed two calls. The first was to the Phone Company’s local information service to acquire the number she desired. The next was to a florist that she – as a he – used when the occasion called for it.
Playing the part of a dutiful secretary acting per the instruction of her boss, one Mr. Joseph Grant, Jo placed an order for a dozen long stem red roses to be delivered later that afternoon to Beth Hammerman’s residence. Then, feeling that she may have finally gotten lucky, Jo, with a flash of her ticket stub to gain reentry, returned to the darken theater and the woman she dearly hoped she might one day make an honest woman out of.
* * *
"Jo!" Beth, aware that they had a good ten minutes before the start of the movie, quietly intoned as she reached over and took Jo’s hand in hers.
"Yes!"
"I have another little confession to make."
"Alright! I’m listening!"
"Remember when you asked me if I ever entertained the idea of hooking up with another woman?"
"Yes. Yes, I do! And, as I recall, you said that while you have entertained the idea, you never pursued it. Correct"
"Yes. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell, Jo. I’ve always been afraid to. You know, because of what happened before."
Jo, sensing that Beth was beset with a heavy dose of anxiety, gently prodded, "Like I said before, that’s perfectly understandable! You have every right to feel the way you do!
"I know I swore off getting involved with anyone after the same sort of shit happened to me!
"So anyhow, you said you had a confession to make!
"So, the question is: do you want to do it now? Or, would you rather wait until after the movie is over?"
Beth meekly replied, "I think I’d like to do it now."
"Well then, go ahead! I’m all ears!"
"Jo! Remember that evening at the health spa when you and I first met?"
"Sure I do! You came right over to me and introduced yourself. But, then again, if I remember correctly, you took it upon yourself to introduce yourself to everybody! I mean, basically, you more or less took it upon yourself to function as our class’ self-appointed social director! "
"Yeah, I guess I did at that!
"After all, the main reason I joined the heath spa in the first place was in order to meet some other women and to hopefully make a few friends
"But, I bet what you didn’t know was, I had an ulterior motive for singling you out to try to strike up a friendship with. You know, over all the other women in our aerobics class?"
"You did?"
"Yes, Jo! I most certainly did!"
"Alright! I’ll bite! Whatever possessed you to single me out?"
"Well, for one thing, you and I were the only two single women who showed up alone. Everybody else, seem to have shown up for class with a friend of theirs in tow."
"Okay… There is that. But, I take it that’s not the only reason you singled me out is it?"
Beth labored through a deep sighed and then reluctantly replied, "No, Jo! It isn’t….
"I don’t know if you remember this or not, but when Jackie told us to form up in staggered lines, I ended up two lines behind you.
"So anyhow, I guess what I trying to say is: I spent a good portion of that first class of ours looking at your backside!"
"Yeah! So?" Jo prompted and then, in an effort to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings, she quickly scoffed, "Just what are you trying to tell me, Beth? Are you trying to insinuate that you’re some kind of pervert that has a thing for women’s rear-ends prancing around in lycra-spandex?"
"Only yours, Jo! Only yours…
"Jo!"
"Yes…"
"Did anyone ever tell you that you have very, very cute rump?"
With a chuckle, Jo responded, "No! Not recently!"
"Well, take it from me, when it comes to rumps, yours is absolutely exquisite!"
"It is, is it?"
"Oh, yeah! It most assuredly is…"
"Well, I’ll take that as a compliment!
"I mean, it was meant as one, wasn’t it?"
"Most definitely!"
"Okay! So, you were looking at my tush! So, what’s the big deal about that?
"I mean, you were directly behind me, weren’t you?"
"Yes! Yes, I was!
"But, it wasn’t that I was looking at your butt! It was the way I was looking at your butt!"
"Oh! I understand! What you’re saying, in a very round about manner is: you were looking at my butt much the way a man might!"
"Yes, Jo! I’m sorry to say: I was!
"Well then, I guess it’s my turn to feel flattered!" Jo, in a lighthearted effort to defuse the billowing tension, returned jovially.
"Jo!" Beth, in a pleading voice, snapped sharply. "You don’t understand!"
"You’re wrong, Beth! I think understand perfectly!
"You do?"
"Yes! I believe I do!"
"Well then, Little Miss Smartypants, maybe you can explain it to me!"
"Okay! I’ll just do that
"Look, Beth! I know that you think of yourself as a heterosexual woman, but given what you’ve just told me – you know, about your being fixated on my tush and all – there’s no way that you’re heterosexual!"
"But, Jo!" Beth registered a complaint. "You’re not seriously suggesting that I’m a lesbian, are you?"
"No! Not by a long shot! You’re not gay if that’s what you’re worried about! I know that you like men far too much to be a full time lesbian!
"What I am suggesting is: you harbor some – Oh! What’s the damn word I’m looking for?
"Latent! You harbor some latent – you know, as in repressed – bisexual tendencies! You know, as in you generally prefer men, but I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that there are times when you feel yourself drawn to other women! You know, sexually!"
"Damn!" Beth exclaimed. "I said you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good!
"I do believe that you hit the nail on the head!"
"And," Jo returned tentatively, "I take it that there’s a part of you that finds me – Shall we say! – some what sexually appealing?"
"Jo! To say I find you some what sexually appealing is such a gross understatement it isn’t funny!"
"Well, kiddo! Just so you know, the feeling’s mutual!
"I mean, I want to jump your bones so bad right now it almost hurts!"
"Shit!
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Beth fumed in frustration. "Damn it al to hell and back! If this isn’t a mell of a hess, then I don’t know what is!
"I mean, two months ago, I didn’t have a care in the world! Then, what do I do? I not only met you! But damn if I don’t go out of my way to strike up a friendship with you! You know, because I found you so damn sexually appealing I couldn’t – and still can’t - get you out of my mind!
"Then, what do you do? You set me up with a blind date with your bother! And, as fate would have it, he and I hit it off! You know, so much so that I end up throwing caution to the wind and pretty much coerce him into making love to me on our very first date!"
"This is terrible, Jo!"
"What’s terrible!"
"I think I’m falling in love!"
"So, what’s so bad about that!"
"What’s so bad about that is: it’s only your brother who I’m falling in love with!"
Jo, unable to restrain herself, playfully teased, "You should have told me there was another guy! You know, before I set you up with Joe!"
"There’s not another guy, Jo!"
"There isn’t!"
"No! You ninny!
"You’re the other person I’m falling in love with!"
"Oh!" an overjoyed Jo meekly uttered.
* * *
A little over two hours later, having sat through a movie that neither one of them had been able to pay much attention to, by mutual accord, the two young women began to address the indecision that Beth faced.
"You do realize," Jo began, "you really don’t have any choice in the matter."
"I don’t?" Beth was clearly mystified by her friend’s statement.
"No! No you don’t!"
"Look, Beth! As much as it pains me to say this, it’s Joe you need! Not me!
"Look! You told me yourself that you want a husband and a family! Joe can give you those! I can’t!"
"But!" Beth broke in.
"But, nothing!
"Look! I don’t want to lose your friendship over this – And, I pray to God I won’t! – but, if I have to bow out your life forever – You know, so that you and Joe can have a chance of making a go at it – then, I swear to God I’ll do it! I waltz out of your life forever and you’ll never see me again! If, that is: that’s what it’ll take for you to come to your senses!"
The conversation continued for a few more minutes until Beth reluctantly relented.
"What can I say, Jo? When you’re right! You’re right!
"But, you’ve got to promise me something!
"You’ve got to promise me that I’m not going to lose your friendship because of this!
"Look, Jo! I know that I’m asking a lot of you! Especially given how the two of us feel about each other, but I really, really need you!
"If there’s any chance at all of my building a long-term relationship with that brother of yours, I’m going to need somebody to talk to! You know, to - I guess you could say! – act as a sounding board and keep me on an even keel and give me a shoulder to cry on! You know, should the need – Perish the thought! - ever arise!
"I need a friend, Jo! And, the friend I need is you! You know, if, that is: you think you can handle it?"
An inwardly exuberant Jo replied that she had no plans on going anywhere and that she would be there for Beth whenever Beth needed her.
* * *
Feeling fairly confident that the long-stem roses she had placed an ordered for would provide a much-needed pick-me-up for Beth, Jo knew with a certainty that what her friend really needed at the moment was none other than the kind of intervention that only her male alter ego could provide. Though she had originally intended on spending her weekend as a female, much the way she normally did, Jo decided that it would be good idea for her to modify her plans and change back into a man again a full day ahead of schedule. That way she – as a he – could call Beth and see if the two of them could spend most of Sunday doing something together, something like maybe spending the day at the zoo and then, maybe going out to dinner together.
Having donned the heels shortly before eight that morning, Jo checked her watch and quickly calculated that she had already amassed a good seven hours of residual girl time. Given that it was going on three o’clock, Jo knew that if she any chance of calling Beth later that evening as Joe, she had to divest herself of the heels within the next fifteen minutes or else, be forced to wait until Sunday morning before she – as Joe - could place the call.
"You know something!" Jo said as she and Beth neared one of the mall’s entranceways. "I’ve really got get out these shoes!
"So, if it’s not to much trouble, how about you and I check out a couple of the shoe stores and see if I can find something that tickles my fancy…"
* * *
Jo selected a fashionable, youth targeted shoe store that carried a line of pumps that bore a striking resemblance to those magical transsexualizing stiletto heels of hers. Entering the establishment with Beth following in her wake, she caught the salesgirl’s attention and prudently informed the teenage girl that she would like to try on a pair of their classic high heel pumps in navy. Then, aware of the fact that those magical heels of hers would undergo a fairly noticeable downsizing immediately upon their removal, Jo knew that she needed to distract Beth so as to prevent her from taking any notice of the remarkable change that her pumps would shortly undergo.
"Beth!" Jo said having seated herself. "Can I get you to do me a big favor? Can you get me that boot over of there? I’d kind of like to get a better look at it!"
"Sure, kiddo! It would be my pleasure!"
Then, as soon as Beth turned her back and began to stroll across the showroom, Jo, with a silent prayer to God to pretty please let the residual girl time business work as it always had in past, leaned forward and quickly removed her pumps. And, just as quickly, she stashed them on the chair beside her in such a way that they ended up partially buried within and beneath the folds and uppermost arm of her leather jacket.
* * *
"Hey!" Beth quipped as they waited on the salesgirl to reemerge from the backroom. "What is it with you and high heels?
"I mean, save for the time you and I spend at the spa, all I’ve ever seen you wearing is stiletto heels!"
"What can I say, Beth? Save to say that I like wearing high heels."
"So, what you’re telling me is: you’re some kind of masochist with a foot fetish! You know, because they’ve got to really hurt your feet."
"Actually, Beth, they don’t hurt my feet at all.
"I’ll grant you that these new ones probably will. You know, until I get them broken in a bit. But, once I do, trust me! They’ll be fine!
"Oh! And, and that thing you said about me and my being a masochist, I can assure you: I’m not! You know, not by and stretch of the imagination!"
A moment or so later, acting on impulse, Beth impishly inquired, "So, tell me, Jo! Does that brother of yours like seeing women in heels as much as you seem to like wearing them?"
"Probably! I mean, while I can’t say for certain! You know, because I’ve never come right out and asked him! I’m reasonable sure that he does!""
"Oh! That’s interesting….
"Maybe," Beth mused, becoming an inside trader in the game of love in her own right as she did so, "since we’re here anyway, I ought to think about picking up a couple pairs myself…"
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