The Swing

by Abby Rhodes

  

I got down off the swing, my back sore and my hands chaffed.

"I'm sorry, Mr Fragonard," I said. "I'm going to have to stop for the day. I've been sitting on this swing since ten this morning when you said the light was fine for painting and not only did I not get any lunch, that pervert down there in the grass has spent the entire day looking up my dress.

"Now, I know that when Millicent couldn't come and you talked me into wearing her clothes it wasn't the first time I'd worn silky drawers and a pinkish dress but today the constant friction of the wind blowing up my skirt and petticoats and whipping the silk from side to side has caused me to be erect all day and I have ejaculated into the afore-mentioned silky drawers at least seven times. No, I'm not boasting. No, it's too late for a fresh start today. Not only are my silky drawers soaked but I have to change my silk stockings for my cabaret appearance tonight. I'm doing that new play by Mr Bouchier, the farce where I turn out to be twice the woman the Countess d'Andruff is.

"I'm sorry, Mr Fragonard. Yes, I'll come back tomorrow. I warned you about Millicent, didn't I? Totally unreliable. Did you pay her for yesterday? No? Well, there you are. Probably nipped down to the village for quick round with the Mayor. Not the mare, the Mayor. The Mayor's always good for a meal and a couple of francs but the mare won't even share her oats. Not like the Mayor, who will spread his oats wherever he gets half a chance, ha ha!

"Yes, I love the corset. It's the only thing that's kept me here. Red brocade just does things to me. Your wife did things to me as well. Yes, your wife, the gentleman standing behind me and pushing the swing. Several times she's had her hand further up my backside than a casual acquaintance would warrant. I appreciate I'm prettier than her, even without rouge and powder, and she was obliged to cross-dress unexpectedly, but please ask her to maintain her decorum tomorrow. Good day, Mr Fragonard! Oh, and please have my shoe found by tomorrow. The pervert's probably got it."

 

(Inspired by Jean-Honore Fragonard's famous painting - The Swing)

  

  

  

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