You need not have read the previous chapter of Stupid Husband Tricks, but it helps. Suffice it to say the protagonist has been gifted with a nanotech device that controls the body, it can change shape and repair damage, it also communicates aurally and visually. But all this chat aside on with the story.

 

Stupid Husband Tricks

by Juliette Lima

 

Old Wife's Tail—Part One—Fur Burgers and Pair o'Lies

 

Too often lore of yore was frail
Dismissed as an "Old Wives' Tale"
Our hero now will drift
And receive a froward gift
And learn the lessons in an Old Wife's Tail

 

When last we talked I had regaled you with my adventures in female form and how I planned to have a vacation on a tropical isle with my lovely wife clad in only her chocolate coated skin. Since the best planned lays oft go awry you may rest assured my vacation was erotically charged and highly arousing but not at all in concert with my plans. Now Martina was not pleased I had slipped out of her trap, nor was her sister pleased to have Tommy, her husband, at liberty and expecting to have her sweet little body at his pleasure. Both sisters did enjoy our new oral skills and were eager participants in any sessions where the sweet moist parts were given oral obeisance. We were for our parts dumb and happy as could be, oblivious to the plot about to be hatched and dispatched.

My first inkling came when she showed me printouts about a town in North Carolina that had a womanless beauty pageant s a part of its collard festival. I shrugged off her snickering insistence that I try to win a pageant and went about keeping my Chesapeake Bay dead-rise ship-shape for weekend charters in the middle grounds. Tommy and I ran the boat, while Martina and her sister did the office work for the boat and our menhaden spotting business. We had a busy time following our vacation, every weekend had us out on the bay with charters for whatever was running, and midweek had both Tommy and me out over the bay and offshore in our planes seeking menhaden schools. We went along fine for six weeks until we had a charter composed of women wanting to sail to Tangier Island and Smith Island. I was reticent to take on a boatload of trouble, but Martina had negotiated a prime price, and I suppose it was dumb luck on my part that I was in the office when the chair of the excursion committee visited the office and asked for Martina. Since she was out on an errand I volunteered to help her as best I could but Mrs. Cockburn (Pronounced CO-BURN) told me she only wanted to speak to Martina as they had "an understanding". I left her in our office and went out to the boat to find my cell phone and called Martina on her cell. She told me she was in Fredericksburg and would not be around for at least three hours. I told her the old bat only wanted to speak to her. She told me to borrow a skirt and blouse from the forecastle locker and use the memory stick stored in the chart locker and change myself to look like her (Martina that is) so we would not lose the big charter. I smelled a rat but went to check on the gear there was a white blouse of some thin knit, and a short pale blue skirt, since I had Martina still on the line I asked her where the underwear was and Martina laughed. "Just go commando like you did when you were playing the slut with Tommy and have a good time, Mrs. Cockburn loves to see a little flash of gash."

"You are pressing your luck young lady" I replied

"You'll see why I ducked out on you in about five seconds after you get in the room with "Groping Gayle the matron whale" Martina laughed as she broke the connection.

Figuring the cash was worth the trouble and since Gayle Cockburn looked most un-whalelike I shucked off my tee-shirt and jeans and slipped the memory stick's antenna "where the sun don't shine" and pressed the button and felt my body quickly adapt to Martina's contours. I slipped the blouse on and fumbled with the wrongway buttons and covered my lower parts with the skirt and using the few cosmetics Martina leaves on board I made myself as Martina-like as I could and slipped on the low heel pumps in Martina's locker and scurried back to talk to Mrs. Cockburn. I was immediately subject to the laws of feminine motion (A booby in motion rubs on any fabric, a nipple in friction becomes erect, an erect nipple transmits arousal sensations to all parts of the body, and aroused vaginas secrete lubricant.) So I presented quite a sight when I reentered as Martina, large erect nipples poking the thin knit blouse, and a swollen moistened crotch leaking fluid onto my thighs. We only keep metal folding chairs in our dockside office so when I sat, I plopped my bottom and crotch onto cold steel (I forgot to smooth the skirt) and felt a shudder run through me as I felt the cold hit the hot.

"Hello Martina I'm so pleased to see you again" Mrs. Cockburn purred.

"I'm very glad to see you too Mrs. Cockburn"

"Please call me Gayle, Mrs. Cockburn is my mother-in-law, I see your husband found you a lot quicker than he thought he would, he said he thought you were shopping or running errands."

"I was out on our boat and he found me when he looked in the forecastle to find his cell phone."

"Where is he now, dear? I don't want him to find out what a wicked little surprise we have planned for him some men just can't handle being taken off a job."

"He won't be around for some time he had to head over to Tommy's place to see to some repairs needed on his airplane. Tommy is my brother-in-law and an airframe and powerplant mechanic so he does our maintenance and sees that all AD's on our Cessna are in order."

"How nice, now have you spoken to Jimmy about your taking the boat out in place of him? We don't want any men along on our cruise so we can play on the bay without any clothes, except when we go ashore at Tangier Island for luncheon." Now I knew why Martina had bailed on me the poor dear gets seasick if she has to go out in the middle of the bay, she can do alright if we stay just off shore but the middle grounds just tear her up. The ladies wanted to have a bare ass cruise and Martina knew she couldn't safely handle "Bouncing Bertha" our deadrise. I knew we could staff the boat by making strategic body changes so I agreed. Gayle had more surprises and asked to see the accommodations on board, so we walked down the dock to board the boat. Along the way she asked me "Martina have you thought about having your husband take part in our womanless beauty pageant? We have training classes starting on the same day our cruise leaves so we can have him ready to compete by the time we return. I understand your sister and you neighbor Bettina have husbands that might make good contestants also."

"I suppose I could ask him to take part, and I'm sure we can get Millicent and Bettina on board with their spouses."

"Good I think our trainers will enjoy putting those three in dresses and lingerie. Myra Stilton has said she really wants to take your husband in hand and personally make him into the 'queen of the sissies' and you know how she has her husband pussy whipped. I didn't mention this at our first meeting because I didn't know if you were a proper lady or a kindred spirit. I noticed you are more like me than I thought."

"How so? I don't know what you mean."

"I noticed the wet spot you left on the metal chair, and your skirt is still flipped up and showing me your cute little ass." With that she grabbed my buttock and slipped her fingers into my cleft, goosing me and causing a gasp. "You know the cruise is planned for three days so we'll have a lot of time to get acquainted. And when we get back we'll have sissy maids to wait on us hand and foot." I was beginning to steam with anger at her and Martina but stayed calm (as calm as I could with her fingers probing my anus and vagina making me squirm) I turned to face her and kissed her with parted lips and accepted her probing tongue. We had made our way onto the boat and she saw the open hatch to the forecastle and led me toward the hatch. Once inside she unbuttoned my blouse and began to tease my nipples with her mouth, while continuing her fondling of my sex. I began to reciprocate by untying her wrap dress and stroking her breast with one hand while slipping my other hand between her thighs. We stripped each other bare and continued our groping and kissing on the bunk. She rolled me onto my back and quickly reversed her self so her hot sex was pressed into my face as she began to devour my throbbing pussy. I slipped a finger into her anus as I licked her steamy slick slit. In short order we had orgasms that were signaled by our muffled screams.

We had just gotten out of the shower when Myra Stilton knocked on my front door. I answered the door wearing one of my tee shirts and a pair of panties while Gayle dressed. Myra looked lustfully at my erect nipples and asked "Are you ready to turn Jimmy over to the pussy whipping team while you cruise the bay?"

"I might be Myra what else is in it for me?"

"For the next three weeks before the cruise we hold dominatrix classes, are you going to convince Millie and Bettina to help you crew the boat?'

"Sure I will I need a good solid mate and a deckhand. When do these classes start?"

"Your first class is spanking technique." Gayle said from behind me.

"Take off your panties and tee shirt Martina, and we'll give you a short lesson in proper rump reddening." Myra added.

Soon I was squealing as both women used their hands to slap a hot blush into my quivering cheeks. To my surprise and pleasure I began to feel my arousal grow as my ass grew hot from the slaps.

Before they left Myra told me "To begin your membership in our association stop wearing panties and get Jimmy to wear panties under his jeans. When you get Millie and Bettina on board bring them to my restaurant. We will give you more lessons and set up your husband's pussy whipping."

As they drove off Millie and Bettina walked over and I looked n the floor to see the pair of panties puddled on my foyer floor. Millie spoke first "Jimmy what the hell were you doing with Gayle and Myra? Alex and I could hear the squeals across the water."

"Tommy is that you? Why are you wearing Millie's body? Why is Alex wearing Bettina's?"

"The three disgraces went off as guys this morning and Millie and Bett asked us to impersonate them when Gayle came to visit, I see you also got swapped out." Tommy added.

"Yeah Marti sprung it on me when I called her to find out when she would be back. I had to take the skiff across the creek to Henry Stilton's marina for some line and a couple of gallons of motor oil for the deadrise. I got home to find Gayle in the dockside office and when I called Marti she told me to make the swap. So I ended up muffdiving Gayle and getting my ass spanked by her and Myra "

"You ate out Gayle? What are you nuts?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time, actually we sixty-nined and she is pretty talented with her tongue. She's got a strong right arm too, my tail is really burning."

"So what is her plan, the girls were pretty sure they want to avoid crewing your boat when the unholy coven rides in three weeks."

"Well the ladies of the bayside want to have our wives available for sex and transportation, while Myra and her minions pussy whip the three of us into sissy maids."

"Ah hell no" Tommy rejoined.

"But our wives want us to swap places with them for the duration, don't they know what is going to happen to them if they are male?" Alex asked

"If they don't know we have to tell them, and if they do know I for one am going to ask mine what the hell she's thinking. Tommy hand me my panties over there, and help me unload my skiff."

Tommy picked up the pair of peach colored lace panties and pitched them over my head to Alex who ran out the door ahead of me and pitched the panties back to Tommy. The chi-chi game continued until Tommy and Alex were both laughing too hard to throw and the panties suddenly hit me full in the face. The three of us sat on the dock and laughed convulsively.

We finally unloaded the skiff and stowed the oil and spare parts on the deadrise. As we made our way back to my house our spouses returned from shopping. I had a bit of a shock looking at myself as I wore my wife's body. Martina wrapped my(her) arms around her(my) body and hugged me while kissing me with a passion she seldom showed. I felt the tee shirt rise up and her(my) hand caress my(her) buttocks. I squirmed as she(he) made the tender bottom remember its beating. "Did Gayle and Myra made the little chubs all hot and tender?" She(he) asked. I felt the other hand stroke the front of the panties and shuddered as the pressure of the playful hand parted my slit and elicited a thrust into the probing finger. Marti broke the kiss and asked "How do you like being felt up with and audience? You must like it the crotch of your panties is getting wet. You ready to live as me for about a month?"

"Um ah ooh don't it feels so good, I'm so hot. Please don't." I really don't think I wanted her to stop, but he(she) did. I stood with rubbery knees and throbbing crotch wrapping my arms around her(his) neck.

"Okay Jimmy if you will be me for a month I'll take what ever the ladies have planned for you. All you have to do is be me until the cruise is over. Alex and Tommy are on board, so you have allies."

"But I have to take dominatrix lessons and the women spanked me today what if they get rougher next class?"

"Your cute little ass will get redder and I'll have to rub it to make it all better."

"What if I have to practice spanking on you?"

"Then you'll have to soothe my pains."

"Okay but as soon as we get back home from the cruise I get back to being me. Promise?"

"I promise you, you will be back in proper clothes for your gender, as soon as we get back home from the ordeal of the month."

"Okay Marti I'll do it I'll be you for one month, even if it hurts and embarrasses you and me."

"Relax it will be a new experience."

I knew I should run for the door, but the hand on my crotch made me stick to the spot.

 

To be continued.

  

  

  

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