The Story of Sissy

by Lady Katherine

 

`Speak when you're spoken to!' The Queen sharply interrupted her.

`But if everybody obeyed that rule,' said Alice, who was always ready for a little argument, `and if you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other person always waited for YOU to begin, you see nobody would ever say anything, -- '

 

I left the hospital with a cast on my leg Frank told me the roads had been just cleared the day before. The storm had hit us hard and many farms were damaged there were no deaths but many were injured and the fields lay in disarray. When we got to our farm my heart broke it was like God had used a giant scrub brush and scoured the land till it was nothing but mud and broken plants. Our barn was still there but its roof was not. Many of the farm equipment were still in place but our tractor was gone, literally gone, we found a wheel in a tree weeks later. I sat down on a broken timber too empty to even cry.

"What are we going to do Frank I asked him"

"We are going to rebuild he said"

"With what I asked its too late to plant a second crop even if we had money for seed."

"Could not plant it even if we did he laughed we have no tractor."

"The mill I asked?"

"The creek rose and cracked the wheel shaft when the water level came down the wheel went with it."

I knew my aunt Pat would give us the money to rebuild but I also knew Frank would not accept it.

"We could move in with Aunt Pat I said the girls can't stay here."

"I know he said but Sissy I am a farmer that is what I do with the mill out it is going to be a bad winter for us."

"For a lot of us this winter I said, but we have each other and the girls are safe we will survive."

"Sorry you married me he asked?"

"Ill never be sorry I married you my love."

We set up a mattress in the living room and slept over that night. In the morning we heard cars coming down the road. I could not believe it. The town's people had come and brought timber from the mill. Larry Freeman, Frank's father was in the timber truck. They had come to repair the house.

"I thought the mill was down I yelled!"

"Got it running yesterday been cutting beams and boards all night. You are the first on our list for repairs can't have my granddaughters going without a place to sleep."

They worked on the house for several weeks dispute other storm damage in the valley our wood frame house was no match for the storm and so Larry insisted it be rebuilt in field stone. The barn had its roof put back on. But still there was little food, what we had was brought in by the women of the workers. I joined them in cooking for the men. I always enjoyed cooking especially for men it was somehow a feminine sign of love. It was a good feeling being with these people and being treated as a member of their women folk. I suppose if I had been born a female I would never have such thoughts but in a way that was sad as well because I was beginning to understand just who I really was. The house was rebuilt along with the barn and we could live in our own home once more but it was a terrible winter. We had little food the cattle killed in the field could not be used without getting sick so we had to dig a pit and bury them. There were no chickens so there were no eggs. Aunt Pat's peaches were gone, we picked what was on the ground and cut out the bad parts. My daughters and I dig what we could of the potatoes from the field by hand because we had no tractor but the storm had turned the ground into concrete. Our newspaper, "The Penny Saver" published articles on how to use potatoes and collier greens for a meal. We women all followed the articles and did what we could. But there was many a meal my mother would be ashamed to put out before her family. But we had nothing else and little of that, sure they brought in supplies from other valleys but they were expensive and many just did not have the money for much of them. Cholera broke out in the bogs and it spread. Thankfully the weather turned cold and it faded out. Winter was long and very cold. We had wood for the fireplaces but fuel oil was hard to get. We were put on a waiting list and sometimes we got it sometimes we didn't but we had plenty of wood from the pieces of the old house. Toward the last of winter lemons and oranges were scarce and expensive out of the reach of many in the valley so many of us in the valley had scurvy but not the Freeman clan thanks to aunt Pat who had us put nettles in our soups and drink rose hip tea, we had our vitamin C from them. We all looked for spring but when it came we wished it had not come. The fields turned into quagmires. Since we had no crop from the last season we could not pay back the money for the seed and we needed more money for new seed this spring and a tractor. We had to get a FEMA loan but it was not enough to pay for everything we needed. Aunt pat helped but she needed money for replanting her peach trees. My job as mid wife never did bring in any money so I applied for a job as a teacher in the Baptist middle school and was accepted it brought in enough money for us to get by and Frank and David decided to plant cotton as a cash crop and so we managed to survive and by fall things were almost back to normal. But we were never the same again Elizabeth was always fearful of storms and I had grown up my time of innocence had passed but I had found I had a circle of women friends who loved me and we had pledged our selves to each other. We would be there for each other all our lives, we would care for husbands when one of us gets sick and we will be there through our births and yes at the graveside when we must go beyond. Helping each other to understand ourselves and being there for each other when no one else wanted to be. I have known most of them for almost thirty years. In that time we have gone through bad marriages. The death of children the birth of others, some I even delivered. Together we all faced the death of husbands and sickness and loss and yes many of those sweet women who came that day after the storm now rest in the little graveyard were my Mary rests and where my plot is reserved for me in the Freeborn section when I must make that last journey home. But also we had joy and the beauty of the rising sun, a red rose on a special day and the laughter of our friends the feel of pretty petticoats under our dresses and wearing flowers in our hair. Each moment was now even more precious to me than ever. Brushing my girl's hair, showing them how to cook, and taking care of Frank, Each day to be savored and in a way I grew up with my girls and the women who befriended me. Playing with my little girls and them and learning from them I found just who I was. I bought them a dollhouse when they were 8 years old. Any one knowing miniatures knows these doll houses run around 300 dollars and up each piece of furniture is around 20 dollars. So it was not cheap but it was as much like the one I remembered playing with at the councilors. So perhaps I didn't buy it just for them. We played house for hours. As I grew up with my girls I had a second childhood that I only dreamed I would have had. We played games I remembered playing with the girls in the mirrored room. So maybe I did know something about growing up female. They loved horses and I bought them every kind of toy horse I saw. Frank made a rocking horse for each of them. Margaret named hers sassafras and Elizabeth named hers princess. For the rest of their lives they would have a love of horses and a love of riding them. And when we tired of playing, I began writing the series "Pretty Bear and the Princesses". A story about two girls who are transported to the world of insofar by a fairy princess where they meet a teddy bear, that was put together with left over parts so his one leg is shorter than the other and his ears don't match nor did his eyes. All the "normal" bears teased him and laugh at him and shunned him (I remember someone like that). The girls called him pretty bear and he falls in love with them because it is the first bit of kindness he has ever known. It turns out he is a valiant warrior and saves the girls many times in their adventures. We would curl up in my bed in our nighties and I would read to them until they feel asleep. Then Frank and I would carry them to their rooms and tuck them in bed.

I often wondered what it would be like to be their father but for girls I could not be as close as I was as their mother. I just could not think of anything better than what I was. When my girls saw one mother wearing mother daughter dresses they begged me to buy some for them. Soon we had dozens of matching dresses and I had to consult with them as to what dress we would wear that day. Everyone knew who my girls were just match our outfits. We became known for dressing all the same. It was so much fun.

As the girls grew up we started going camping with Diane and David. I loved camping not that it was any less work for us women. Instead of cooking on a nice stove we were reduced to an open fire. Add to that that my girls were going through the stage were they would eat only certain things and they changed what they liked each week Still what a an experience to walk into the woods and at the end of the day set up camp and have a meal then curl up in a tent with your family. So many times we all try to re-live the past or try to run from it. Too often we look to the future in dread or anticipation. But it is the now that we so often forget. The quiet moments of waking up in the morning to a brilliant sun rise, the warmth in my husband's arms with my children by my side. I knew they would soon grow out of this and discover boys. And we would be close friends no longer. But I knew boys and their charms so I was not worried I could handle it. But for now it was a magical time. I enjoyed adult company as well. Diane was like a little sister and she and David knew what I was. Of course David never saw me as a boy so he just could not imagine me as a male. Diane knew me as a male but she said I had changed so much it was like two different people. Diane loved motherhood as much as I did. Women's liberation was in fashion but we flunked out. Frank and I shared a sleeping bag, he insisted I sleep with him naked so he could play with me. I didn't mind if the girls saw me naked aunt Pat never bothered hiding her body from me. Nor did my mother after my operation Mother told me then that a women's body was beautiful not sinful and I should never be ashamed of it. So I had no problems with my girls seeing me or they being undressed in front of me but of course not in front of Frank after they reached a certain age. It was their idea but as they grew so did their conscious of their sex. It also would be different if they were boys of course I would never be naked in front of my sons as mother never let me see her naked until I began wearing dresses for her.

Diane and I played a game with our girls Frank never went more than two days without sex. So when we were on the trail it would be a problem with our daughters in the same tent. But when he wanted me Diane would take our girls with her. Frank loved me in the predawn light. I would awake first and wait for him to stir. I would fantasize what would happen to me in the next few minutes. The hormones had made my body become very soft and sensitive. So when Frank turned on his side I was ready. He would feel me up and down my sides. My nipples turned hard so when he touched them I felt little electric shocks through my body. I turn on my side pressing my hard nipples into his chest. And he would kiss me sliding his tongue into my open mouth. Soon he would mount me and I would receive the pleasure being a woman was all about. We thought we were being so clever in this but year's later Elizabeth told me they knew why they had to sleep in my niece's tent. So we spent the next few years enjoying each other before other problems overshadowed the scene.

I had been having a lot of problems with Margaret of late she had been defying me and talking back to me. And she was going around with the society girls. These are the richer girls of the valley the ones convinced they were going to exclusive girl's schools. They thought their shit did not stink and that everybody else was simply clueless. You know, the girls you simply hated when you were young. They accepted my girls in their little club with out question. But I didn't want my girls to be involved with them. They were cruel and vein. The more I demanded they not see them the more determined Margaret was to be with them. Frank was no help they simply charmed him. He could see no wrong in these "nice girls". It made me furious at him. He just didn't see what I or my niece Diane, who they snubbed as well, saw in them. But that is the nature of men with females.

I decided to take Margaret out riding which she loved to do. To have a mother daughter talk She wanted to dress like Candy Robertson the ringleader of the club. They wore all designer dresses (she never liked pants or slacks except at horse meets). At twelve however I do not believe you need a 200-dollar dress for school. It did not matter if we could afford it or not. That was not the point. Candy was involved in a riding academy on the Finney's farm near the mountains. They had in addition to the school, miles of trails up the mountain. Margaret had to join as well and Elizabeth asked to compete in shows. I had known the two always had a love for horses from when I played with them games of great horses and brave women riders. For shy Elizabeth to want to compete was something I could not say no to. She was also still looking for her "princess" to ride. Which I would be required to get Frank to buy for her. Margaret learned to jump first. As always she was the aggressive one. She was participating in shows long before Elizabeth, but Elizabeth would be steadier and better. But that is later in my story. Margaret needed clothes to compete. That was no problem though expensive. Then she had to have a really good mount. So after much pleading and justification of why she could not possibly ride the stable mounts I bought her "sassafras" for her to ride. She was a young horse and of good stock. When it came to picking her up I put on my shortest mini skirt, a tight blouse and five inch heels. I took Margaret to the farm, but insisted Frank stay home. The owner was a balding middle aged man. I minced up to him and started negotiations on the horse. From the bulge in his pants I knew he was not thinking with the brains god gave him. I twisted my ankle and had to rest on him for support. He was so very nice he decided to give me a break on the horse. I drove away with sassafras for half the price he quoted Frank. Please don't condemn me for what I did. I worked hard to get my tits and ass. And society came up with mini skirts and 5 inch heels for me to wear. It took me a long time to figure out that it is what this society expected me to use to get what I wanted. And I liked using it, innocent flirting was fun. It was half the fun of being female. The real fun of wearing dresses is people's reaction to your femininity.

So for our ride I had just bought a new leather riding outfit. It was the first pair of pants I had on for years. Any resemblance between men's pants and these was purely coincidental. I slipped on my prettiest bra and panty set. And found a matching garter belt. After putting on my stockings I slipped on my leather pants. They were soft and clinging, they fit me like a second skin. As the sails lady told me they should. They touched me just were they should as I zipped them up the back. I then put on the leather top. I had to laugh as I stretched this top over my breasts. I was a 36C and all natural. I had been so embarrassed when aunt Pat gave me my breast inserts. They had made me a 36B and I thought I was enormous and misshapen Who would have thought I would be naturally as big as my mother was. Finally my riding boots with a low spike heel. It was a super outfit. and it felt so good as it pulled and stretched over me. I joined Margaret and Elizabeth and we went to the stables where I dropped off Elizabeth to the riding school. And had our horses saddled. The young man bringing the tack could not take his eyes off of me not bad I thought for a mother of two. My outfit showed every one of my carefully sculpted curves. Of course Margaret was noting it all as well.

"You look super mom she said nodding to the attendant. He seems to think so."

"I know I said. He likes this outfit."

"I don't think it is the outfit he is admiring she giggled. Would you by one for me?"

Of course dear I said I would love to. But not now you have some growing to do first you know your father would kill us both."

"But I am growing mom I already have little mounds there. I hope I get as big as you are."

"That is not the kind of growth I meant I laughed but I have seen you recently undressed we will have to think about getting you some training bras soon."

Margaret of course beamed at this. She could not wait to have breasts. Of course I wished I had them at her age as well. The attendant came back with our mounts and we led them out of the barn. I rode "injen Joe" he was a good mount with good lines and a few hands higher than Maggie's mount. As we started on the trail I saw Candy Robertson come in riding "goldde". She had a good mount but not as valuable as sassafras and Candy was all to aware of that. So she was always putting my girls down. Trying to be better than them Yet Margaret just could not see that. Fortunately Candy did not see us as we left the farm.

We rode up the mountain trail the ride was through some of the most beautiful land I knew and ended at the new campgrounds in echo valley.

We had just come upon the campgrounds when a man came running toward my daughter's horse. Sassafras reared up and it took all that Margaret could do to calm sassafras.

"Stop it I yelled to the man your freighting my daughter's horse!"

"Oh sorry he stammered but I need help my daughter has just been hurt I know you are with the doctor please help us!"

I dismounted and handed Joe's bridle to Maggie. I had done a lot of work between the time I first began delivering babies and now. So not only was I a licensed midwife but also a registered nurse. When I entered the tent and saw the child I knew it was serious. She had a wound in her thigh. Bright red blood was spurting from blood soaked towels. I, with the man's belt, managed to stop the bleeding. The man explained he had been chopping wood when the ax head came off and hit the girl. It had severed an artery. From the amount of blood soaked towels the girl was in danger.

"This is only a temporary measure it has to be removed soon or she will lose the leg. I said."

That brought a scream from the mother as Maggie came in. She took one look at the blood and I thought she was going to get sick it but she held on. I nodded to her to calm the mother as I tried not to think of one of my own daughters in the same circumstances. This was one time my being a mother was not helpful.

"We have to get her to the first aid station and fast that artery has to be repaired and I can't do it here."

"But it took us four hours to get in here by the old logging road he replied!"

The logging road wound around the mountains like a drunken snake. I looked at the father and he knew it would be to late to save the leg or even his daughter. The nice thing about men in a crisis is they dealt with facts. The worst thing about them was they dealt with facts.

"Mama what about that old mule trail from the mines it goes right down the side of the mountain. I could take her said Maggie."

"Sorry little girl the father said but I could not even get a four wheel drive down that trail."

"She means the horses Mr. Martin I responded greatly annoyed at him."

"Sassafras is too small for both to ride her and "injen Joe" will not respond to you as he will me I told Maggie."

Besides I thought if someone was to fall off a mountain I would rather it would be me rather than my daughter.

"Look Mr. Martin we don't even know if it still exists all the way down the mountain now. It could be a dead end. I could be killing your daughter I said."

He looked at his wife for assistance and she nodded. "We will take the chance he announced." So we loaded Joe with the girl and I mounted my big Joe.

Maggie handed me the bridle. "Go for it mom she said just be careful ok?"

God, I thought, I love this kid but just how did I get into these situations? We got on the trail, it was level at first but then it started to get steep. It was made for pack mules a lot steadier on their feet than "injen Joe". It took all I could do to hold Joe and the injured girl. The trail was not good and several places it was nearly washed away completely. We hung close to the side of the mountain as Joe threaded his way along a path that was sometimes only inches wide. My heart was in my mouth for most of the trip. Then we were on more level path and it widened out to as wide as an ox cart. Deep ruts in the hard rock showed were the carts had been loaded for their trip down to the valley. I saw the white of the aid station and I knew we had made it so I pressed Joe faster. We had just come around a bend when Joe skidded to a halt. Before us ten feet of the road was gone. The mountain had moved and that part of the trail was at the bottom of the mountain. We could not go around. On one side was the shear mountain on the other was a drop of more than a hundred feet. The only thing we could do was jump it. Even for a good jumper it would be hard. And Joe had me and the extra burden of the little girl. But Joe was terrified. He kept backing away from the jump. I got him cheap because he had been injured in a fall on a jump when he was younger. Now he would not go near one. Which ruled him out as a show horse but he had to make this jump we could not get back up that path it was simply to steep. I leaned over to his ear as the child's blood trickled down Joe's side.

"Joe I said, you have to jump for me I need you Joe! We need you!"

Joe whinnied but he stopped backing away. Then I put my ungloved hand next to his neck. He leaned into it as if to draw courage from me. His whole body shuttered and I knew he was going to try it. Tears welled up in my eyes I realized I had appealed to him as a woman does to her man, as I would to Frank. I guess it didn't matter males were males. And I loved them all.

"For good or evil life or death "injen Joe" I love you for all time I whispered!"

I felt his muscles tense and we started the run. As he jumped I leaned in to help him get as much from the jump as he could. I saw the hard ground ahead of us and realized we were not going to make it. My heart broke and for an instant I thought of my girls and Frank, then of my "Joe" he had faced his fears and tried. Nobody could ask more than that from any one. And I prayed. Then Joe's fore legs hit the hard ground on the other side. He lost his balance for a second and then recovered. We were across. We broke into a gallop as the path turned into a wide lane then a road.

"I shouted I love you Joe! I love you echoes into the valley!" Joe joyfully pranced down the road in response.

DR Paine wanted to question me as we rode up with the girl but her wound commanded his attention. When Margaret and the Martins came up I had taken care of Joe and the girl was safe her leg was fine. When they learned their little Sandra was going to be fine the mother came and hugged me and the father blessed me over and over. DR Paine just looked at me and remarked you do come in handy from time to time. This for him was great praise. My daughter and I rode back to the stables. All the time she looked at me with this look that made me embarrassed. I didn't do all that much it was Joe that was the hero. He faced his fears for the love of me. For that he will always be my "brave injen Joe".

When we got to the stable the word had got there before us and the girls riding school was out in force along with the mayor and Elizabeth. We were applauded as we came in. We dismounted and the stable hand took our mounts I made sure Joe would get the reward he deserved. I never told anyone about the jump of "injin joe" I guess it was because I was a mother after all and should not have taken such risks. But I had my daughter back and that was the best thing of all.

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2004 by Lady Katherine. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.