The Story of Sissy

by Lady Katherine

 

Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'

`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see

 

We all take many Paths in our lives. We all have good reasons for taking one Path over another sometimes circumstances sweeps us down one Path. When that happens we wonder "what if" about the Path not taken. We however have only one life we cannot go back we cannot even slow the pace. Time flows like the waters of a river and as it does it sweeps us down not allowing us to terry in our journey. I am sure in the knowledge that no matter which Path is taken they all return to the sea.

Nancy called to make sure I would be there to deliver her.

"How are you? I was worried" she asked

"Fine I said I just worry about Frank."

I was worried about you. I thought you did not look good after the funeral she replied."

"And just how are you, mother to be." I asked

"You know it's not nice to tease a pregnant women Sissy. I have a belly the size of a house. There is a little shit in me that is trying to kick his way out. My ankles have swelled to the size of balloons. I have to wear flats Sissy! Imagine me wearing anything less than 3 inch heels. If I sit I can't get up with out a crane. Oh and you can forget about sleeping in a bed like a regular person. If that is not enough my back is killing me. Only two good things have come out of this so far! One my skin has finally cleared up. Two if there is justice in this world. I know when Frank gets home he is going to knock your little ass up but good and you will be walking around with a belly the size of mine. For asking a question like that Nancy screamed."

"Calm down Nancy I know you're late...."

" Late! Late is the 6:15 train coming at 6:20. I am a month late. Whose fault is that I ask you I have offered this little one food, money, women, even a stock portfolio. I tell you he refuses to come out."

It was not too long after that conversation that I got a phone call at 3am. It was from Tom.

"Sissy Nancy is having her baby I don't know what to do she is a mess!"

"Clam down Tom and stay with her ill be there in ten minuets."

I woke up Mary and aunt Pat. Get dressed I told them both. When aunt Pat came out of her room I asked:

"How fast can you drive? Nancy is in trouble!"

"For her, like the wind" she responded.

"Good you're hired I said."

Mary was a little slower. She didn't move as fast as these days. By the time she got to the car aunt Pat had our cook up with orders to prepare tea and scones for us when we returned we would need it. Bonnie to her credit was like an old war horse and with out question was rustling pans as we drove away. Good people I thought so many good people here. The town was like that they cared for their own. When some one was in trouble people showed up to help. No one asked them to. Nor did they expect any compensation. Everyone was important here to the town's survival. When one person was in trouble then the town was in trouble and everyone knew that.

We drove up in a cloud of dust from old country road 4.

"That was incredible Aunt Pat I truly believe there where a few times we actually had all four tires on the road at once." I said a little green.

"Can I help it if that road has more holes than pavement. Anyway we are here that what counts. You have a job to do Sissy ill handle Tom he looks hysterical aunt Pat smiled."

We found Nancy up stairs. She was a mess in bed. But it was only her water that caused the problem.

"It must have surprised Tom I said."

"Are you kidding me? It freaked him out. He was right next to me and I went to move and well it went all over everything including Tom Nancy giggled."

"Poor guy no wonder he panicked laughed Mary."

Nancy delivered her baby with out much problem. That is if you consider pushing something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of lemon was not a problem. Delivering babies gave me considerable respect for this process. I kept trying to imagine that baby coming out my new hole.

I was about to cut the cord when I noticed something.

"Nancy, remember when I said I thought I could hear more than one fetal heart beat?"

"Yes she said."

"Well hang in there your not finished yet I responded."

It was into afternoon by the time we were done. Mary and I went to wash up before we went down to Tom.

"Twelve hours of labor I didn't think it would ever end I said."

"I know I would not want to do something that felt good for twelve hours much less this said Mary."

"I suppose we had better go down and make the announcement to Tom."

"Let him wait. I am not going down looking like this in front of any man and neither are you. Besides he is a man what other job does he have said Mary?"

After we cleaned ourselves, Nancy and the babies. I came down with Mary behind me. At which point Mary left to arrange for a nurse.

Tom saw us and rushed to me.

"How is she?"

"Tired but well Tom. She will be fine I said."

"And the baby he asked."

"Ah now that is what took so long Tom. For a bit there I thought I was going to deliver a whole football team. But she stopped at three."

"Three?" his eyes seemed to glaze over.

Aunt Pat helped him to a chair.

"You are the proud father of three healthy boys. Congratulations I said."

Mary came into the room and announced.

"The nurse will be here in the morning. I called the doctor and told him he had three more Patients to care for. I asked if he wanted to come out and check them over but he said it could wait. He didn't have to worry when two of his three state licensed midwives were delivering. Congratulations Sissy the program is legitimate!

The license came with a plaque for my wall and a card for my wallet with photo. I looked at my photo there a woman with long hair in flowing curls, gold hoop earrings, and bright red lips smiled back at me. I looked in my mirror the same women as in the photo looked at me. It was hard despite what aunt Pat told me. I had to accept the idea that image in the mirror would not change, just grow older from now on.

Yet things were good for me in the valley. Nancy was up and about now with her three babies. Tom was taking all the credit for the three boys. Of course his men friends believed him. Men, I thought, more and more it seemed to me they acted like kids, they took all the credit. To hear Tom talk Nancy just materialized the babies all pink and warm. If men had babies they would have by now invented another way. They could not imagine a woman doing any useful work which was defined as plowing, shoeing horses or digging fence posts. What was even odder was that we, the women, let them get away with it because we love them. Then again maybe that was not so odd. Mary was recovering from the loss of Eddy she had her daughter and one on the way to remember him by and we all had work as midwives. Aunt Pat was happily at work getting the Gipple house ready for Diane and David. Soon the harvest would come. The apples and plums were ripening in our trees. The branches hung low to the ground and the grain hung heavy on the stalk. It would be a bountiful year.

It came in the morning mail, I had to sign for it. A tan envelope with an eagle on it from the government. I opened it just as aunt Pat came into the room. It read:

Dear Mrs. Freeborn

In the action on July 15 your husband's helicopter received a direct hit with an enemy rocket. It exploded in mid air and crashed. Lieutenant Freeborn was not found. We have therefore listed him as missing in action and presumed dead.

I could feel my face getting hot. I tried but I could not take in air I watched the letter float slowly down to the floor, curious I thought. The last thing I remember was my aunt's look of absolute horror on her face before the floor rose up and hit me very hard.

When I recovered I found myself sitting on the couch aunt Pat was on one side and Mary was on the other. I looked into Mary's eyes they were filling up with tears. I began to feel mine do the same.

"Oh Sissy I am so sorry Mary cried."

I hugged her and kissed her and we cried for a long time. Could it be I was a wife and widow before I was even 25? The most frustrating part of it I never shared franks bed. I had real sex with him only once and I wanted it so bad now. Now that I could be intimate with him. Now that I could hold him inside me. Now that I could respond to him fully as a women.

"Dam this war! Dam it to hell! It was killing this whole town. It's killing me."

Mary and I let go. And aunt Pat put her arm around me.

"It will be all right child. It's just so much for such a young life she said."

"Sissy what ever are we going to do Mary asked?"

"Mary Rose Hunt" announced aunt Pat wistfully

"Who?" Mary and I both asked

Aunt Pat told us." Mary Rose Hunt wrote a diary during the civil war. After the battle of Shiloh not to far northwest of here. She went with the other ladies of the valley to the fields where the bodies were scattered all over. They washed the blood from the dead and buried them. She wrote in her diary that men must be made of iron to withstand the horrors of battle. But then she wrote, God has made women of much stronger stuff than iron for it was they who were made to suffer the horrors after the battle and bury their dead loves."

"Sissy I think you still can hope they have not listed him as dead only missing." stated Mary

It is very hard facing a life without joy. I didn't cry any more but then I could not laugh. We had church services where they prayed for Frank. So that he may return home safely. But there were mostly women and old men in the church now and so many of the ladies were in black the pastor got up to give a sermon and just as he did the train whistle blew down in the valley and he paused. Somewhere in the church a woman began to cry then another. The dam train that took our loved ones away I thought and then I realized I was crying myself for Frank. Mary and I hugged to hold in our sobs. Tears streamed from the pastor's eyes as he beheld the site his son too was gone. The service was very short that day and few returned the following week. Our faith was near lost and the government kept telling us lies. Would Martha rose Hunt understand us I believe she would, very much.

Marie, Frank's mother, came by often, and I spent a lot of time over at their house now. She was a broken women. She had placed so much on Frank and now he was gone. All her children were gone. Except she had me now in place of the daughter she had lost so many years ago. I tried to comfort her with that knowledge. She wore black now but I could not bring my self to don that color. As Mary said there was still hope. It was all I had, just hope. It seemed so long ago when we all played on the beach laughing and fooling around. Wasted youth it was said. Still there must be a time for happiness I thought. Eddy was gone and Now Frank as well. My only brightness in the gloom was that Diane was coming. Her marriage ceremony was a disaster. David's brother Roy came. David's only close relative. The problem was that he brought his lover. He was dressed in a silk tux with lots of lace. After my appearance at mothers funeral. It was like putting gasoline on a blast furnace. There were a few fights. Before the newly weds could get out of there and go on their honeymoon. As I contemplated Diane as a new confidant. Something evil came into my life.

I made the classic mistake. I wore a tight sheath skirt. And spike heels to go shopping. Of course I no longer could tolerate wearing anything lower than three inch heels because my tendons had adjusted to the high heels. So I was struggling with my packages when a man said:

"Here let me help you with that! You look to good to carry packages"

"Thank you" I replied. As he took my packages to my car.

"My name is Buford Pucket. I am sorry to hear about your loss Mrs. Freeborn."

"You know who I am?"

"Everybody knows of the three sisters."

He bared my way to the door. "I wonder if I could see you later?"

" I am running the kissing booth this year at the fall fair"

"Oh then ill be there. With plenty of money ill want to have plenty of kisses from you."

He was very close now. I looked into his eyes I knew I was being undressed by him mentally. I have been dressing as a women in public for years now so I was used to the cat calls of men their jesters of what they would like to do to me. Some days my ass had been pinched until I could not sit down. Even when men brushed by me just to get a feel of my breasts. I took it as just part of being female. All women went through it to some degree. But this was very different. I could feel a shudder run down my back. It was suddenly very warm. My breath came in short breaths. The alarm bells in my head began going off. He was as smooth as snake oil and as deadly as a cottonmouth.

"Thank you again ill see you there sir" I said. Then got into my car and drove away as quickly as I could.

Later I consulted my dictionary of who's who in the valley.

"Hello Nancy!" I need some help. I explained to her what happened to me.

"Buford Pucket! I didn't think he would be so quick to see you. He is the son of one our muck farmers. You met his no good brother Eddie your first summer here."

"Eddie was the one at the Gebheart farm?"

"That's him he is in jail now for beating up a woman in Tannersville. Buford has had it in for you ever since Nancy told me."

"Then why have I never heard of him?"

"Because you're Freeborn kin now he try anything and your kin would have killed him for sure but I guess he thinks it is ok now that Frank is gone. He has been in trouble with the law, nothing big. He hasn't a dime to his name. Their mother ran off when they were 10 and they were raised buy their father who is a shiftless bastard who filled them with hate about women."

"He scares the hell out of me I said."

"He should, he has a bad reputation with women. Just like his no good brother"

"He is coming to the fair Nancy!"

"Ill have Tom talk to him."

"Thanks Nancy tell Tom I appreciate it."

Despite Tom's talk Buford showed up at our house several times. Always asking me out. Always so close I had to side step him constantly. He was all arms and hands. On the fifth time he came to aunt Pat's house he would not take no for an answer. I miss stepped and found myself cornered. Before I could move he had his arm around me. He would not let me go. He was much stronger than I was. The only option of my new sex was to try and talk my way out of his arms.

"Look Buford I am married!"

"He is dead. Forget him sweet cheeks. You like this I know you do."

"Let me go Buford! Stop this! Frank is not dead but you will be if he finds out."

Buford held my two hands in his left and with his right he held my face and began to kiss me. I managed to yank my face away when he almost lost one of my arms.

"Buford your hurting me let me go. Get out of here"

I was terrified now. I knew he would not be talked out of this. Men were not supposed to be like this even though I knew from experience with the gym couch that some were pure evil. Still this could only happen in the movies and not to me twice in my life. He held my hands in his one hand. While he grabbed my face with his other hand and began trying to kiss me. The metallic click of a revolver stopped him. He turned around allowing me to see. My Aunt Pat was holding a .357 revolver and it was pointed at his head. Her eyes were as cold as the steel in the gun. He loosened his grip enough to allow me to break free. I gathered my skirts up and ran to Mary and Bonnie. They were several feet behind Aunt Pat.

"You aren't going to shoot that are you Buford laughed? Your daughter and I were just having some fun. She didn't mean anything by it. She has not had a man in so long she couldn't help her self."

"Mr. Pucket my mama dun told me never to talk to strangers. But I promise yew thet if you don't leave this child alone. I weell blow your brains all over this yard."

Aunt Pat was speaking southern she never reverted to southern unless she was so enraged she forgot her grammar.

"Now Mrs. Steward you can't hold me responsible for your daughter leading me on."

"Sissy is a married women she would never lead a man on sir she told him."

Buford Pucket took a step toward Aunt Pat who was about ten yards away.

"Look you bitch give me that gun before I take it from you shove it up your privates and pull the trigger, he shouted."

I learned one thing. Never under any circumstance provoke my aunt when she is in her Georgian mood. The crack of the revolver shocked me. Buford Pucket grunted and his head jerked violently to one side. He staggered back. Then faced us again. Blood squirting from his left ear lobe. "You bitch ill .... " My aunt recocked the gun.

"The next time it will not be an earlobe that I aim at sir" my aunts southern accent dripping all over like poison.

Buford Pucket turned and left. I looked with amazement at my aunt. Clearly she never ceased to amaze me. I will always remember that tall skinny women holding that big gun.

"We are going to have trouble with that boy I am afraid she said. Ill call the sheriff. But I will also make a few other phone calls. You are going to be protected. But you watch your self young lady till then. He is a bad one she told me."

"Some vicious animals walk on two legs Sissy" said Bonnie as she held me and that one is no good for nothing.

The sheriff came and told us as far as he was concerned Aunt Pat should have shot him dead were he stood (though I found out later his wife was Freeborn clan). I was not bothered by Buford again. I thought it was finally over. Quite a few men of our town were looking for him. I do not believe they were going to just talk to him but I was a woman and that was a man thing. I was just told he would regret it. The Freeborn family was a big family and they protected their women.

I decided to checkout my aunt's family tree. Off the parlor was the library it was quite a big room with many strange books some in foreign languages. A set of books looking older than the rest caught my eye. I have ever seen books as old as they were. But what surprised me was they were copies of an older book. I spent the next several days exploring the old books as near as I could tell from that spidery writing was the books and the family started in the year 950. It was fascinating reading. So much so the day of the fair came before I knew it.

It was a wonderful fall day, warm and sunny. It was a time to have some fun before the harvest's hard work. Everybody was in their brightest colors. Smiling at each other. The hot dog stand was set up and the cotton candy booth. One stand had a half a steer being roasted over a wood fire it gave off wonderful smells. Soon the smell of food had drifted over the fair. People were coming in with their flowers and animals to be judged that day. Nancy and I set up our booth. Mary was there for moral support. I was skittish of course I had never been in the kissing booth before. I could not believe being one of the girls to be kissed. We joked about after taking money out to pay for our food we would end up owing the booth money. But when we opened up it startled me that there was already a line for kisses. Oh well aunt Pat always said new things were good for the soul. I smiled my sweet Georgia sweetheart smile at the men. For a dollar a kiss I kissed tall men, fat men, young men, old men, good kissers, bad kissers. Some got in line again.

It was so much fun really. The men were so sweet and they kidded about their wives finding out. Of course the joke was that the ladies auxiliary sponsored the booth and half the men there had wives in the auxiliary. I recommend any one to try this. You see I quickly learned why we were there and was not about ego or being pretty girls. That was not the point of it rather it was the helping of others. Cheering people up making them happy and not just by kissing them. The girls were not even chosen on the basis of how they looked. I felt very privileged that I was thought of enough to be asked. I gave the men so little and I received so much back from them. Mary had gone home after an hour she got tired these days. But she did sneak in a few kisses her self before she left.

Near the end of Nancy's and my shift I saw Buford was standing in line.

"Oh shit! I thought he was long gone I told Nancy."

"Ill take over for now knothead. You don't have to kiss him said Nancy."

She took his money and prepared to kiss him with out saying a word. But he pushed her away

"I don't want her. I want that one! Miss uppity sweet cheeks Buford screamed."

Well I thought what is in a kiss ill be off before he gets another one.

"Ill do it Nancy I said."

"You sure knothead she asked?"

I summoned all my courage and came close hoping he would not do anything to me in front of all the men. As usual I was wrong.

He came close then he grabbed me and began kissing me. He bit my lip and I screamed and he was suddenly jerked violently back. A big man who worked in the mill had Buford by the neck.

"How come you no act like gentleman? This here is Mrs. Freeborn my boss's daughter she fine lady you treat our ladies right. Maybe this knock sense into you."

At which point he smashed Buford's head into the booth post a few times. Someone shouted "hold that man!" Buford desperate to get away, squirmed out of Joey hands and ran. I put my hand to my lip it came back bloody. The big man turned to me. Oh he hurt you! Joey should have killed him first thing. He handed me his hankie.

"Thank you. I said "For that you get two big free kisses." His face brightened up and he turned to the man behind him.

"If Joey knew that. Joey would have definitely killed the son o' bitch and he laughed."

As we walked away from the booth I was really mad. I was having so much harmless fun. I felt so good after all that had happened and Buford had to spoil it. I could not imagine why this man was doing this to me. I told as much to Nancy

"Who knows Sissy I sure don't. It's got to be some male possessive thing. You will have to ask a man about it. all I know both of them have a rage against all women"

As we came around the feed shed I heard a crack. I turned and saw nothing. Nancy was gone. Then I saw one of the feed doors was open. How odd I thought and walked back to the door. As I stepped inside I felt a push and cracked my head against the table. When I awoke up Buford was sitting on me. I could not move. He had turned over the table and tied my ankles to the wide part of the legs. My legs were spread wide apart. My wrists were tied together above my head. I have had males on me before but this was different he wanted to take something from me that I would give only to Frank. Well I would not make it easy for him I too had a rage inside of me ever since my experience with that sick gym couch. I started to scream and he hit me. I saw stars and it took me a minute to regain my senses. As I did I saw Nancy, she was sitting on the floor her hands were tied. Something was stuck in her mouth. Blood ran down her face from a horrible wound on her head. I started to scream again but Buford put his hand over my mouth. I knew I was going to die now and I found I was no longer scared. I made up my mind he would remember me. I bit down hard on his hand. He screamed and tried to pull his hand away but I bit down harder. He hit me again. I would not stop. He hit once more and I experienced a brief blackness and let go.

"You bitch!" he cried

he reached around with his bloody hand and found an apple and he shoved it into my mouth. When it got to the point where I could not open my mouth any wider he smashed it further into my mouth with his fists. My jaw felt like it was dislocated with the apple stuffed in it. He pulled a hunting knife from his boot.

"I am going to kill you bitch but first I am going to fuck your little brains out"

he took his knife and slid it across my throat and I could feel blood trickling from the cut. Then he cut open my dress top and exposed my breasts. He began fondling them. He squeezed them and it hurt. I groaned and he seemed to get pleasure from that. He began to work my skirts up and exposed my panties. Then he cut off the panties, if I had male gentiles I would be very nervous and bloody at that point. He opened his pants and shoved his cock into me. I could do nothing now but pray. I could feel his fluid slide into me. And it was all over. As he was zipping up his pants the inside door opened up and Tom came in like a charging bull. Everything seemed to go into slow motion. Buford whirled around and slashed Tom in the arm and chest hot blood sprayed my face. I could hear Nancy try to scream. Tom went down to his knees. Buford ran out through the open door. Tom, despite his wounds, began to untie us. There was a sickly crunch and the outside door burst inwards with the force of Buford's body. Through the opening came Larry Freeborn. When he saw me he became enraged "you do this to my daughter you are a dead man!" Buford gathered him self up for one last fuselage. But it was like David and Goliath Larry was a huge giant. Buford got up and swing his knife at Larry but Larry caught Buford's arm and with grunt he broke it. Buford's arm dropped and his knife fell to the floor. Tom had freed Nancy and she had worked the apple from my mouth and Nancy and I held each other for comfort as Tom joined the men. Larry turned to me did he do anything to you girl? I knew what he was asking I started to say yes but I could not. No I said he didn't rape me. I stared down Nancy who said nothing and looked away. Good he said then I take this piece of garbage away. He picked up Buford like he was a rag doll and threw him through the closed window to the angry men out side with a crash. By then the ladies auxiliary had came in and took charge. They shooed the men out of the shed and began to cover our half naked bodies. Again and again people asked me on the way home if Buford raped me but I denied it. Nancy never told on me. Aunt Pat who knew me more than anyone in the world didn't believe me but she stopped asking. I repeated over and over all I wanted to do was take a shower. I thought my cuts were minor and I was heavily bruised but nothing else showed. I ran the shower as hot as I could stand it. I scrubbed my self over and over inside and out but I just could not get clean. No matter what I did. I could not get clean again. I started to cry and I slumped down the shower wall till I was sitting. There rocked myself back and forth in great sobs. The next morning as I sat on Aunt Pat's veranda the sheriff came to me and informed me that Buford Pucket was dead. He died from Larry's beating. A short inquest was held that cleared Larry completely. The turning point came when the sheriff stated that if he had been there he would have emptied his gun into Buford without hesitation. But I doubt that anyone would have convicted Larry under any circumstance.

  

  

  

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