Sound Sissy

by Karen Singer

 

Part 4: "There's Got To Be A Morning After"

 

When I stirred awake, the clock between our beds said 7:30. My dreams had been filled with the events of the day before. I was also very horny. Just thinking about dressing up as a girl usually made me horny and being in the middle of a weekend where I was being forced to dress up was really having an effect on me. The only problem was, I couldn't do anything about it. One of my favorite masturbation techniques was to lay on my stomach in bed and just grind my penis into the mattress until I came. Cindy was still sound asleep, so I rolled over on my stomach and tried and tried to get any kind a reaction down there. I couldn't even get any sensitive areas to touch the mattress. I rolled over on my back and put my hands down inside my panties. Even using my hands, I couldn't manage any kind of reaction. The glue job they had done on me hid everything away so securely I couldn't get any kind of reaction at all. I could feel the very tip of my penis between my legs, sticking out from under my scrotum that had been pulled and glued over top of it, but there wasn't enough of it sticking out to give me any pleasure at all. I tried pulling on the skin to see if I could get anything loose, but it turned out to be useless. Pulling on it only hurt. Eventually, all I could do was to give up, roll over and go back to sleep.

Cindy and I finally got out of bed around 9:00. "How are you feeling today?" she asked me.

"Better," I replied. "I'm horny as hell though, but the way you've got me all glued up, I don't think I'll have to worry about any kind of bulge appearing where it shouldn't."

"That was the whole idea," she said. "Can I see how it's holding up?" I'm not sure if that was really a question or a command, but she had seen it all before. In fact, it was her handiwork she was interested in. So I pulled up my nightgown and slid down my panties so she could see. She poked and pulled at it for a minute, then said, "Wow, it's still holding really well."

"It hurts when you pull on it," I said.

"So we won't pull it," she answered as she got up. "I need a bath. You can shave and then get your bath after me. I'll figure out what you should wear today while you're washing."

When I finally came out of the bathroom, Cindy was dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a sweater. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she was doing her makeup. She said, "I called Elaine, were leaving for the mall around 10:30. We're wearing jeans today."

I looked at the clothes she had laid out on the bed for me. Jeans might mean one thing for her and Elaine, but obviously, it meant something else for me. The only thing about the skirt on the bed that could be called "jeans" was the fact that the material was washed out blue denim. It was the denim skirt that I often wore around my apartment. The skirt was very full with the zipper in the back. Instead of belt loops, it had a decorative belt made of bright metal silver disks sewn from one hip across the front, to the other. It was definitely the longest skirt I had worn on this trip so far, since it came down a few inches below my knees. She had also laid out my pink sweater for me to wear on top.

"It's supposed to be cooler today," she said.

My shoes for the day were a pair of burgundy pumps with a single strap and two inch heels.

As I was putting the falsies in my bra, Cindy asked "Do you want me to do your makeup again today, or do you want to do it yourself?"

I thought for a moment, then decided, what the hell, I need to practice expressing my femininity. "Let me do it myself, then you do whatever you can to improve it." I answered.

She smiled at me and said, "Good, I'll be glad to."

I guess that all my previous dressing practice had paid off and since this was not my first time putting makeup on, I did pretty well. The only thing Cindy did after me was to take one of her makeup brushes and soften the blush on my cheeks.

 

It was a little after 10:30 when I hung my purse over my shoulder and we headed out the door. "Here we go again," I thought to myself as I put a smile on my face and stepped through the door. The weather was definitely cooler and I could feel it on the lower part of my legs. I was glad for the sweater I was wearing on top. I couldn't help but notice the noise my heels were making as I walked to the stairs – which were easier to negotiate than in the heels I wore the night before.

Everyone was already waiting for us in the van and Tim drove off as soon as we closed the door. When we got to the mall, Tim pulled up in front of one of the entrances. Before we got out, Stan stopped us and said, "Wait a minute." Then he said to me, "What are you?"

A small amount of the fear and humiliation I had felt the night before went through me and I hung my head in shame. "I'm not a man, I'm a sissy." I said.

"And what shouldn't sissies do?" he asked. "Sissies shouldn't ever go into a men's room. I promise to never ever go into a men's room again, under any circumstances." I finished the whole thing without his prompting.

"Good!" was all he said.

"Now Stan, that's enough of that," said Elaine. "Leave him alone."

Walking into a shopping mall on a Saturday was going to be hard enough, I really didn't need that to be the way we started.

As we walked inside, I wondered how the general public would take me. This was not the nightclub scene where people might be more open-minded. There would be kids and families here. Actually, the reactions of the people were about what I expected. There were an awful lot of people who stared and pointed at me. One or two parents did scowl at me but I just ignored them. I saw a few young girls even laugh a little at me. I think I smiled and waved at them. Fortunately, the mall was not too crowded for a Saturday. I guess the economic conditions around the country were having a definite affect on the mall because there were "sale" signs everywhere.

I had been shopping with Cindy and Elaine many times, and I seemed to naturally fall into my old pattern of just following them around and not really saying much. "Karen," Cindy said to me after a while as they were looking through some clothes in one of the stores, "You're a girl today, not a man. Try to get interested and don't be afraid to look through everything for things that you like. Enjoy yourself!"

So I did. I started following their lead and actively searched through the racks of clothing. Eventually, I noticed that I was really looking at everything and thinking, "How would this look on me," "Would this be a good style for me to wear," "I like this," "I don't like that," and suddenly I realized that at some point, I had started sharing my questions and opinions with Elaine and Cindy. I was really enjoying myself. I think that being dressed like a girl made it a lot easier for me to open up and really shop like a girl. Something I had always dreamed of doing.

I bought myself a new purse, and in one of the drug stores, I got myself a new compact and some other makeup, since Cindy had only packed hers and none of mine. One interesting thing I noticed, there was one single thing that I was wearing that continually reminded me of how I was dressed. It was not my skirt. It was not my bra. It was not my heels. It was not my makeup or nail polish. It was my purse. Every time I touched it, or adjusted it, or reached into it, or even thought of it, it reminded me that I didn't have any pockets and that I was indeed wearing a skirt and dressed like a girl. There was no getting around it.

We had lunch in the food court, and afterward, I got out my new compact and redid my lipstick just like Cindy and Elaine. I was beginning to feel just like one of the girls. I think Cindy and Elaine were both enjoying my attitude and actions too.

After lunch, Elaine wanted to use the ladies room and Cindy suggested that we all should go. I was hesitant, but went along. After all, I couldn't use the men's room anymore. When we went through the door, there was a short line of women inside waiting for an empty stall. They all looked at me quizzically. Most of them actually smiled. "Do you mind?" asked Cindy, "He can't use the men's room."

"I can see that," answered the woman in front of her. "I don't mind at all, as long as he's dressed like a girl. Actually, it makes me feel good to see a man wearing heels and a bra once in a while. Let's them know just how it feels!"

"I agree!" said the woman in front of her. "Men should learn what it's like to have to wear heels and a bra all day long. As long as he's dressed like a girl, I don't mind either."

"Thank you said Cindy."

The toilet seat in the booth I went into was disgusting. I had heard other women complain about it before, but that was the first time that I was faced with it. I took some toilet paper and wiped it off as best I could, but I was still afraid to sit down on it. I wound up trying to squat over it as best I could and managed to pee that way. Afterward, I made sure to wash my hands thoroughly!

Back in the mall, I mentioned how bad it was to Cindy and Elaine. Elaine agreed and said that that was a problem that women ran into a lot. "It's something you'll just have to get used to," she said. "You know," Elaine continued. "I've been thinking. Both those women we talked to in there said it was OK for you to be in there, as long as you were dressed like a girl. In fact, they didn't seem to really mind at all. I was thinking, that maybe it would be a good rule for you, that it's OK for you to use the ladies rooms whenever you're dressed like a girl, but only when you're dressed like a girl. After all, you can't go into one when you're dressed like a boy. I know I wouldn't like it."

"Good rule," said Cindy, "I agree."

"I guess that's fine with me," I added, "but that still leaves me with a bigger problem that we haven't talked about yet. What am I going to do when I'm dressed like a boy, which is most of the time. Stan made me promise that I wouldn't ever go into a men's room again, but I don't know how I can live up to that promise."

"It's certainly going to be a problem," said Cindy "and I don't have any answers for you." "I don't have any answers either," said Elaine, "but I can tell you this, I know Stan, if he even gets wind of hearing about you going into any men's room, he'll kill you! And he's got lots of friends who might tell him if you did."

"We'll just have to think about it some more and figure something out," said Cindy. "You could always give up being a boy and dress like a girl all the time," she added playfully. Both Cindy and Elaine laughed a little.

I smiled, but there was a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was going to have a big problem to solve.

Elaine led us into another clothing shop and in a few minutes, I found myself back in that "girl-shopping" mode again. "Oh look!" I heard Elaine say a one point as we rounded a corner in the back of the store. "They've got a huge selection of party dresses, and they're all on sale! I would really love to find something new to wear tonight." And with that, she was off, searching frantically through the dresses.

Cindy and I both followed and I found myself doing the same. "Oh, I love this one," said Cindy. "I'm going to try it on."

"I'm trying on this one," said Elaine a minute later as she held a white dress up in front of her for us to see. "How about you, Karen, find anything yet?"

I was a little taken by surprise. "I didn't know if I should," I said.

"Of course you should!" said Cindy. "You're a girl today, remember. Wouldn't you like to have a new dress to wear tonight too?"

"I really would," I said blushing a little, "but I think I'm going to need your help and advice picking one out."

"No problem," said Elaine. And they both spent a few minutes going through the dresses and actually discussing, with me, what they thought would look good on me. My having to wear a bra all the time was certainly a big consideration, and ruled out an awful lot of dresses that I would have really liked to wear.

Eventually, Elaine said, "Look at this one, I think it's perfect." She held up a soft, pale pink dress. It was slightly fitted and had a collar that looked more like a scarf across the throat. The sleeves were long and flared from the elbow to about six inches wide at the wrist.

"I love it," I said, "it's pretty." Then I saw the back of the dress. "But I don't know if I can wear it, look how low the back is cut out." While the mock scarf collar would come across my throat in the front, the back was cut pretty far down. "Won't this come down too far for my bra?" I asked.

"I don't think so," said Cindy, "I think it'll be fine." "Try it on, and we'll see."

Try it on? "OK," I said. "Let's go," I added suddenly excited.

The fitting area had a wide central area with a large mirror on one side. There were a number of small curtained cubicles around it and we each headed for a cubicle. I changed into the dress. There was a narrow mirror on the wall in there and I looked at myself. I was in love with that dress. The back turned out to be no problem at all since it covered my bra strap with almost a full inch to spare.

I could hear both Cindy and Elaine out in the central area. "How are you doing in there?" I heard Cindy ask.

"Fine," I answered. "I love it. And there's no problem with my bra."

"Come on out and let us see," said Elaine.

When I walked out, both Elaine and Cindy looked gorgeous in their dresses. "Wow," I said, "you two look great."

"Thank you," said Cindy, "so do you! Come over here and look at yourself in the big mirror."

I walked over and stood in front of the mirror and just stared at myself. "I really, really love this dress." I said finally. "Thanks for helping pick it out."

"It looks good on you," said Cindy.

"It really suits you," said Elaine.

"Yeah," I said, "besides, I'm a sissy, and pink is a perfect color for a sissy," I added jokingly. Then what I had just said hit me and I stopped, thunderstruck.

"What's wrong?" I heard Cindy ask. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

As I turned toward them, I felt like I wanted to cry. It was the first time that I had actually called myself a sissy without being forced to, and the realization that it was actually true had just hit me. "I 'am' a sissy," I said. "It's true, I'm not a man anymore, I'm a sissy. I really am!"

"Yes you are," said Cindy coming over to hug me. "But you're learning to love it, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," I answered her. "I guess I really do like being a sissy."

"Then it's OK," Cindy said, still comforting me. "You're just finding your true inner self, that part of you that really makes you happy and makes you feel good. Besides, you know what? I really love you Kiddo." And she gave me a big hug and a kiss.

"You know what, Cindy?" I answered her, "I really love you too. I have for a long time." I hugged her back hard, and we finally separated with a kiss.

"OK you two," said Elaine finally, "that's enough of that. Now let's get changed and out of here. We still have the best part of our shopping to do now."

"The best part?" I asked.

"Shoes!" answered Elaine and Cindy together. And we all ran back to our cubicles to change.

The mall seemed to be loaded with shoe stores and Elaine found the "perfect pair" in the second shop we went into. When we came out, there was a jewelry shop right next door. "Let's look in here," said Elaine, so we all went in.

While Elaine looked at bracelets, I followed Cindy over to look at some earrings. The attendant who came over to help us looked to be about our age. She asked if she could help us, but the whole time we were there, she couldn't take her eyes off of me. I was getting pretty used to it by now, and just ignored her. Suddenly, Cindy said, "Karen, look at these." I looked. They were a very pretty pair of pearl studs. "Karen," she said turning to me excitedly. "We need to get your ears pierced. These would look great with your new dress."

"Get my ears pierced?" I asked shocked. The thought had never occurred to me. What would my friends as school think? They already knew, thanks to Cindy, that I was a transvestite, but now this would be bringing things out into the open even more.

"We do ear piercing right here," I heard the sales girl say.

"I don't think…" I managed to get out before Cindy grabbed my arm and pulled me around the counter to a stool that was set up for people getting their ears pierced.

"Sit here," said Cindy.

"But…"

"No buts! Sit!" she commanded.

So I sat down nervously while Cindy showed the sales girl exactly which pair of earrings she wanted me to wear. I pulled the clip-on earrings I had been wearing off of my ears. When I did so, my ear lobes throbbed with pain and I rubbed them, trying to get the pain to go away.

Cindy came over and stood next to me while we waited for the Sales girl to come back. She had found a pair of the same earrings in a box that had never been opened. She opened it and showed them to us. "Great!" said Cindy.

The sales girl put the earrings into a small dish filled with liquid then came around and looked at my ears. "I've done this to lots of guys," she said "but never to one who was dressed like you are. Did I hear her say your name is Karen?" she asked as she started swabbing my ears with alcohol.

"It is now," I answered her. "Well, Karen," she continued, "just relax and this won't hardly hurt at all. It'll be all over in just a second."

Hardly hurt, I thought. I don't like pain, and my ears were throbbing like crazy as it was. She picked up a pen and made a mark on each of my earlobes. "What do you think?" she asked Cindy.

"Excellent," Cindy said. That should be just about right.

The sales girl picked up some kind of a fancy gun with a slot in the front that I knew was for my ear lobe. Then she brought the gun up to my right ear. My eyes were wide. I was holding my breath. Every muscle in my body was locked tight. There was a moment of panic as I felt the gun placed around my ear lobe. Then, there was a quick, sharp pain, and I knew it had been done. I now had one of my ears pierced.

"See," the salesgirl said. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" She wiped my ear then picked up one of the earrings and I felt her insert it into the hole she had just made and push the back on - a strange sensation. "One more to go."

I didn't answer her. My body was still frozen. After the first one, I kind of knew what to expect and tried to prepare myself for it, but there was that same quick sharp pain, and then it was all over. Both of my ears were pierced.

"Oh, they're lovely!" said Elaine after the second earring had been put in place.

"They look great on you Karen," said Cindy. "Come over here and look in the mirror."

There was a small mirror set up on the counter. I climbed down off of the stool and looked into it. There were two, very pretty, pearl studs, one in each ear, looking back at me. I turned my head from side to side to try to get a better view.

"They look really great on you," said Cindy.

I finally smiled and answered her, "You know, I think they do too."

As I finished paying for my earrings and thanking the sales girl, Elaine came up behind me, "In honor of getting your ears pierced for the first time, I want to buy you another pair."

She showed them to me before handing them to the salesgirl. They looked like diamond studs, but when I read the label on the box they were in, I realized that they were just clear crystals instead, but they looked pretty. "Thank you," I said as she paid for the earrings.

Then it was back to more shoe shopping, only now, I was sporting a very feminine pair of pierced earrings.

I was really planning to wear the sandals I had had on the night before and wasn't really looking for anything for me. But right after Cindy had paid for a pair she had finally found, she spotted another pair on the wall behind the counter. "Karen, look!" she said.

There, on the shelves behind the counter, were several pairs of pumps in what appeared to be the exact shame shade of pink as my dress. "Those will go perfectly with your dress," she said. "Try them on."

"Which ones," I asked. There were three pairs, all in the same shade. The only difference was the heights of the heels.

"Silly question," she answered. "He'll try those," she said to the salesgirl, pointing to the pair with very slim, very high heels and then told her what size.

"Of course," answered the salesgirl smiling. She was another one who couldn't seem to take her eyes off of me the whole time I was in the store.

Cindy led me back to the seats and I took off my shoes and waited. The salesgirl was back in a minute with several boxes. "I brought several sizes, just in case," she said.

Cindy had been shopping with me many times before and knew my sizes better than I did. The size she had told her turned out to be exactly right. The salesgirl slipped the shoes onto my feet and I stood up and walked over to the mirror a few yards away. I noticed again how the taller heels seemed to add a lot more sway to my hips. "I can tell he's done that before," I heard the salesgirl say.

"He certainly has," Cindy answered her. "He'll take them." And so, now I had new high heels to match my dress for the evening.

There wasn't much time left before the boys were suppose to meet us, but Cindy insisted on making one other quick stop into one of the stores where she and I spent a few minutes trying to find some nail polish that would match my dress. We managed to find something fairly close without too much trouble, and then Cindy had me find the matching lipstick to go with it.

By the time we met the boys, we were all so heavily loaded down with bags, that we were having trouble carrying them. As we stood outside, watching Tim drive up in the van, I said to both Cindy and Elaine, "Thank you both for making this such a wonderful day for me. It really has been a dream come true. Thanks to you, I really enjoyed myself today."

"You're quite welcome," Cindy said. "We both enjoyed it too. It was so nice to have you acting like one of the girls today instead of just following us around. We definitely need to do this again sometime."

"Yeah," I said, "just not sometime too soon please." And we all laughed as we got into the van.

Stan was there and gave Elaine a quick kiss as he helped grab her bags. Then I saw him point a finger at me as he started to ask Elaine something, but she raised her hand and cut him off saying, "Stan, don't even go there. We three girls just had a really nice day. And no, he didn't break his promise, so don't go ruining it for us now."

 

That evening, at the club, was a lot more fun for me and I felt deliciously feminine all night long in my new outfit. No, I didn't dance with anyone. But this was the second time I had been in there dressed as a girl so I was used to it now and knew what to expect. There were a lot more people there that night too. As it turned out, many of them had come back just to see if I would show up dressed as a girl again. Many others had heard about me and just came to see if it was true. There certainly seemed to be no end to the number of curious people who came up to talk to me that night.

Whenever Cindy and Elaine went to the ladies room, they made a point of stopping by and asking me if I wanted to go too. A situation I gratefully accepted each time. While I got a lot of stares and smiles from the other women in the ladies room, none of them seemed to mind me being there.

 

At the end of the evening, we all drove back to the hotel to change clothes before going back to pack up our gear. We didn't want to take the chance of ruining any of our clothes in the process. Besides, I'm pretty sure it would have been nearly impossible for me to carry any of my stuff out to the trailer in those high heels. I was really grateful by then to get out of those heels, my feet had been aching all night long!

When we had finished packing and were just about to get into the van again, Mr. Murphy came out to see us off. "You were all just great!" he said. "We definitely want you back again." Then he turned to me and said, "I was a little skeptical when Cindy convinced me that having you in the club dressed like a girl would be no problem, but it turned out she was right. In fact, it seems that we had a lot of extra people there tonight, just to see you! Of course you realize, that when the band comes back to play here again, everyone will be expecting you to be wearing a dress."

"I hadn't thought about it," I answered a little amazed, "I was just trying to get through this weekend."

"I don't think that will be any problem," added Cindy. "Now that he's done it once, he can do it again. Besides, he likes it."

"Good," said Mr. Murphy. "I'll call you next week to book another weekend. Have a good evening everyone, and thanks again."

 

As I climbed into bed that night, there was a smile on my face and I said to Cindy, "This has been one of the most enjoyable days of my life. I have to tell you, I was incredibly embarrassed and humiliated all day long, but deep down, I found out that I loved it! And for a while there, I felt just like one of the girls. Thank you so much!"

"You know Karen, she said, "I really enjoyed it too. I really liked you behaving like just one of the girls today. In fact, that's one of the things I really like about you. You can be both a man, and at other times, you're like having a girlfriend. You know, I get a kick out of embarrassing you a lot, but please don't take it all the wrong way. Like I said earlier, I really do love you."

"I love you too, Cindy," I said.

And that was the end of one of the best days of my life. Surprisingly, it was the day that directly followed one of the worst days of my life. It's amazing sometimes how something so good, can follow disaster.

 

The next day, we all left the hotel around 10:00. I was wearing another sweater on top, my black shoes I had worn the first day, and an ankle length plaid skirt that didn't allow me to walk very easily. I had bought it once, because I wanted to see what wearing a long skirt would be like, and because I though it might be fun – it was. The trip home was pretty much uneventful and after a while, I was just one of the girls again.

But all good things have to come to an end and we finally drove up and parked outside my apartment. When we got out, Tom was just coming out the door. He stared wide-eyed at me and said. "I can't believe you went out like that!"

I just smiled at him, and said, "I sure did, but to tell you the truth, in the beginning, I didn't really have any choice in the matter."

"I'm glad you're finally back," he said. "I need to talk to you. I know it's short notice, but I'm moving in with Sandy."

I knew that Tom had been spending most of his time with Sandy and hardly even came home any more. "When," I asked him.

"Right now," he answered. "I'm getting the last of my things with this load. I know it's almost the end of the month, and you won't have much time to find someone else, but I'm out of here."

"Ok," I just said, "Thanks for telling me."

Elaine who had come up behind me with Cindy interrupted us and said, "Karen, this could be good!"

"Karen?" asked Tom.

"We thought he needed a girls name now," said Elaine.

Tom just rolled his eyes at that one.

"Cindy," Elaine continued, "I haven't had a chance to talk to you alone yet. I asked Stan to move in with us and he agreed. You know we've talked about this before, but now, instead of the three of us sharing our tiny apartment, you could move in with Karen."

"Oh Elaine," said Cindy, "I had a feeling you were going to ask him on this trip. If Karen doesn't mind, maybe it would be better for me to move in here. How about it Karen, would it be OK?"

Things were certainly changing fast. I wasn't really worried about the money, thanks to my mother, but Tom didn't need to know about that, and here was the woman I had recently realized that I loved asking to move in with me. "Absolutely!" I said.

There was a feeling of happiness in my stomach, but it was cohabitating with a feeling of fear. On the one hand, I loved her and absolutely wanted her near me, but on the other hand, I was afraid of her penchant for humiliating me. I was afraid of what could happen in the future.

While we made arrangements to start moving Cindy into my apartment that day, Tom and Tim both drove off and I started to wonder, what would my mother think about Cindy, and for that matter, what would my mother think about me now?

  

  

  

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