Sound Sissy

by Karen Singer

 

Part 3: "Oh Promise Me"

It took a little longer to get to the club than we expected and we didn't arrive until almost 4:30. As we drove into the parking lot, Cindy reached into her purse and pulled out her lipstick and a small mirror. She looked over at me and said, "You too, Karen," "we want to look our best now, don't we. I'll lend you my mirror when I'm through." So I reached into my purse and pulled out the lipstick that Cindy had put in there earlier. Cindy handed me the mirror and I went about touching up my lips. It was the first time I had ever tried to do this with a small compact mirror. It didn't show my whole face like I'm used to and I think I was going cross-eyed trying to see.

Cindy had us drive around back and park near the loading doors. Then she got out and went looking for the club's manager. When she came back, she said, "the doors are open, lets get set up."

This was it. I was out in public. There was no place to hide. People were going to see me, and I was going to have to talk to people. I was very nervous, but what could I do, there was nowhere to go. As we walked into the club to look at the layout, Cindy came up to me and said, "I told the manager about you, so you don't have to worry, he knows. Now, there's a little sound booth area against the wall over there for your stuff. The manager said he'd find you there and show you the rest of what they have available."

I walked over to the area she indicated and took a good look. The sound booth had a low wall around two sides of it about waist high. There was a table in it for my equipment and I could see a patch panel built into the wall. A few seconds later, the manager came over to see me. He looked me over carefully as he approached, but when he arrived, he was very professional. Something that forever made me like him. "Hi, he said, "I'm Tom Murphy. You must be Karen."

Being called Karen like that for the first time sent a jolt of electricity through my system, but I didn't let it show. I was resolved to try to be the best, most professional sound "person" that I could, no matter how I was dressed. That was the only lifeline I could think of to help me get through it all. Mr. Murphy showed me all they had to offer, which was really pretty good, and we discussed what equipment I had and the best way to set everything up. Despite being dressed the way I was, it was nice to talk to a real professional who knew his stuff. Never once, did he mention how I was dressed. He just accepted me as I was and we got down to work.

When we finished talking, I went looking for the men's room before I went to help unload the equipment from the trailer. As I was going in, Tim and Stan were just coming out. "Maybe you should be using the ladies room," said Stan.

"Very funny!" I said, and pushed on past them.

After that, I went out to help get my stuff. Tim was in the trailer and handing everything out to Rog who just put everything on the ground behind him. Everybody else just picked up a box and carried it inside. Every single piece of equipment that I owned was heavy, and I immediately found out that a skirt was not the best thing to wear for that kind of work. The tight skirt made me keep my knees together every time I stooped down to pick up something, and even though my shoes had wide heels, they were high enough to make carrying something heavy a little more difficult. I was very aware that my movements were, of necessity, more feminine than they usually would.

We managed to get set up pretty quickly and for once, everything worked the first time. The band went through their usual sound check pieces and I walked around the club while they played, listening for any sound problems that I could fix. The club had pretty good acoustics and when we were finished, the manager called over, "Sounds Good!"

Before we left, Cindy told everyone that she was going to get the motel information from the manager and asked us to meet her at one of the tables. When she got back, we were all standing around the closest table to the stage. "OK," she said. We've got three rooms set up at the Holiday Inn just a couple of blocks from here. Mr. Murphy says it's a real nice one. Before we go, however, we have a little piece of business to take care of, so please bear with me for a minute. You all know that Karen here has been a cross dresser for quite some time and you've all been to his house and seen him dressed. Last year, I got him to promise me that he would always wear panties and would never wear men's underpants again. When we were dressing him this morning we found him wearing these," and she reached into her purse and pulled out all three pairs of the men's underpants I had bought. "Karen, come over here!" she commanded. I didn't know what to expect, but knowing Cindy, it wasn't going to be good. She reached into her purse again and handed me a pair of scissors she had taken from my desk drawer. "We are all going to stand here until you cut up every pair of these underpants into little pieces and while you're doing it, I want you to continuously promise all of us that you'll never try to buy or wear men's underpants again!"

My mouth just hung open. I couldn't believe she was asking me to do this in front of everyone.

Elaine said, "You broke your promise Karen, now take your punishment and get on with it so we can get out of here."

"Yeah," said a few other people. "Hurry up." I could see they were all impatient to leave, so I picked up the scissors and the first pair of underpants and started cutting. I cut through the waistband, the crotch, and the waistband again while I recited, "I promise to never buy or wear men's underpants again." Then I repeated the whole procedure with the second and third pair. I was thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated. Now they all knew that I didn't wear men's underpants, and never would again.

Finally I finished, and Cindy just said, "OK, we can go now."

The only other comment I heard was a small "Sissy!" from Stan.

When we got to the hotel, Cindy went in to the front desk and came out a few minutes later with our keys. All the rooms were in the back on the second floor. We drove around and parked as close as we could to the nearest stairway. As we grabbed our bags, we decided to meet again in 15 minutes to go find something for dinner.

After Cindy and I got to our room, and had a chance to talk for a minute I said, "Cindy, I don't think I want to go out to dinner. Can I stay here and have one of you just bring me a hamburger?"

"Absolutely not!" Cindy answered me. Then she softened her tone and gave me a big hug. "I know that this is hard on you and that you're doing all this against your will. But you know that this is also something that you've always dreamed about doing, haven't you. So please, why don't you try to take the best advantage of this opportunity and get into the spirit of it all. Enjoy yourself and have some fun. You're going to be dressed like a girl for the whole weekend, and I'm not going to let you hide anywhere, so you might as well pretend to be just one of the girls and enjoy yourself."

I could see she was right. I really didn't have much of a choice. It was going to be very humiliating, but since I was going to be humiliated anyway, I might as well make the best of it and try to enjoy it as much as I could. "OK," I said finally, "I'll try."

"That's the spirit," she said, "now let's get something to eat."

So I put a smile on my face, grabbed my purse, and we headed out the door. I resolved that no matter what, I was going to try to enjoy this as much as possible. It was the only decent attitude I could take.

Tim had found out that there was a mall not too far away and we eventually wound up at a Denny's restaurant just outside of it. I walked into the restaurant acting like there was nothing wrong with me and that everything was totally normal. I know I was getting lots of looks and stares but I just ignored them all, kept smiling, and pressed on. When the waitress came over to our table, she just looked at me and said "Don't you look cute!" and then just took our order.

During dinner, Elaine brought up the fact that she really wanted to spend the next day shopping at the mall. Tim and Rog said they wanted to visit some of the music stores around town. In the end it was decided that the three boys would go poking around whatever music stores they could find but they would drop "us girls" off at the mall first. They would pick us up later in the afternoon. Cindy and Elaine were certainly making sure that I was going to get as much public exposure as possible.

Just before we left the restaurant, I decided to exert my new found feminine attitude and without being told, reached into my purse and pulled out my lipstick. "Can I borrow your mirror again?" I asked Cindy.

As I refreshed my lips, Elaine finally said, "You've been smiling and acting like you're enjoying this since we left the hotel. What gives?"

"Cindy just convinced me that since I really don't have a choice in the matter, that I might as well try to enjoy myself as best I can," I answered, "so I'm trying to do just that."

"Good!" said Elaine. "I think we'll all enjoy this weekend so much more."

When we got back to the hotel room, Cindy told me to get undressed and to shave so that when she redid my makeup, my face would be nice and smooth. While I did that, she was busy unpacking and laying out what we each would be wearing for the evening. Cindy always made it a point to look as sexy on stage as possible. She never had a problem doing it!

When I got out of the bathroom, she said, "I laid out some things for you to wear tonight." On my bed were some shiny pantyhose, my black bra and matching panties, and one of her dresses that I had seen her wear on stage several times.

"Why can't I just wear what I had on earlier?" I asked.

"For heaven's sake!" she said, "a girl always wants to look her sexiest whenever she goes into a club like this. Besides, I think that dress will look really good on you." The dress was all black and very fitted with a zipper up the back. It had short sleeves, a small mandarin neck with a teardrop shape cutout between the neck and the bust, and had a very, very short skirt. "Since you obviously can't go braless, I tried to pick out something you could wear a bra with," she said.

"Oh, thanks," I said. Actually, I couldn't wait to try on the dress. Cindy always looked great in it. I hoped it would look good on me too.

I started dressing while Cindy put her hair up in some hot rollers she had plugged in. "Don't put the dress on yet," she told me, "wait till after I do your makeup."

So I put on my matching bra and panties and filled the cups with my breast forms. The pantyhose were really different than any I had ever worn. They were very shiny and glistened all over. I knew that they would really focus attention on my legs, especially in that short skirt. The shoes Cindy had picked out for me were mine. They were something I had indulged in for myself last year from a catalog sale, but had only worn just a couple of times and only for short periods in my room. They were patent black sandals with thin soles and very thin straps. They also had very high, very narrow heels and were not easy to walk in. As I buckled them onto my feet, I knew that walking in them was going to be tough – all night.

"Aren't you glad you finally have a chance to wear them?" Cindy asked.

"Actually, I am," I said as I realized she was right.

By the time I got my shoes on and had taken a few steps in them to try them out, Cindy was ready to do my makeup. With her hair full of large rollers, she sat me down in a chair and proceeded to do my face completely. I could tell she was using a lot more makeup than she had earlier. When she finished, she said, "There, what do you think?"

I turned and looked in the mirror and saw that she had gone very dramatic with it all. My eyes looked huge with big, long lashes, my cheeks were heavily accented, and my lips were full and very red. I realized that this time, the lipstick she used matched the color on my nails. "Wow," I said, "I look great! Thanks!"

"You're welcome," she said. "Now finish getting dressed and put this in your purse" and she handed me the lipstick she had just used on me.

I put the dress on and managed to get the zipper zipped up with only a moderate amount of difficulty. I had done that before. As I looked myself over in the mirror, I realized that it was a shame Cindy wasn't allowing me to wear a wig. Despite the clothes and Cindy's expert makeup job, with my boy's haircut, there was still no way you could ever mistake me for anything other than a boy dressed up like a girl. It was going to be a long night.

Cindy's dress was a shiny silver mini-dress that I had seen her wear before. She certainly wasn't wearing a bra with it. Most of her breasts were exposed. Very sexy!

The band was supposed to start playing at 8:00 and we left the hotel around 7:30. As I walked out of the room, I realized that the shoes I was wearing were forcing me to walk with a really feminine sway to my hips. If I wanted to get anywhere in those shoes, there was no way around it. Oh well, I thought, I'm wearing a dress anyway. Going down the hotel steps was another unique experience for me, believe me, I took them very slow and carefully. "We'll have to get you a little more practice with stairs," Cindy said teasingly.

When we got to the van, I got the usual "look-overs" from everyone, only maybe a little more so this time. Elaine said, "You look very nice tonight."

What could I say, except "Thank you."

When we got to the club we went in the back door again. "This is it," I thought to my self. "Here we go," and I mustered up my courage and foraged across the room to the sound booth. The club was starting to fill with people and the music system was playing one of the latest top 40 tunes. As I walked across the room, I was very aware of everything. I could feel how short my dress was and how my legs were completely on display. I could feel my heels hitting the floor with every step and even though I couldn't hear it over the sound system, I knew they were making a very distinctive clicking sound. I could feel everyone in the room watching me.

When I got to the booth, I stowed my purse under the table and busied myself with turning on and checking out my equipment. I saw Mr. Murphy over by the bar and he nodded to me and smiled. I smiled back and then sat back on a bar stool that had been placed in the booth for me.

A few minutes later, a waitress came up to me with a strawberry daiquiri on her tray. "Hi," she said, "You must be Karen." I just nodded. "Mr. Murphy sent this over for you, he said you would probably need it."

"Thank you," I said as she set the drink on the top of the wall. "He may be right."

"I can't believe you came here dressed like that," she said. "Do you do that a lot?"

"Actually," I explained, "this is my first time out in public. I do dress up at home a lot, but this time, my friends thought I should get out of the house, so to speak."

"Well, good luck tonight. If you need anything, just ask me."

"Thanks," I said again as she left.

The band was scheduled to play from 8:00 to 1:00. They usually played for about 45 minutes and then took a 20-minute break between sets. The crowd loved them from the moment they started. I never had any doubts about that – they were good. As the night wore on, the room got more and more crowded, and as usual, I started pushing up the volume more and more. Every time I run sound for them, I always seemed to have my own group of "sound-groupies" around me, and that night, there seemed to be more than usual. I spent a lot of time talking to people and explaining that while I liked to dress like a girl, I didn't dress that way all the time. I wound up being completely honest about myself with everyone and actually managed to relax and enjoy myself. Cindy was right, this was a dream come true experience for me, and letting myself enjoy it was the best thing I could ever have done.

About half way through the evening, Cindy came back to my booth to see how I was doing. The band had started a three-tune set that featured only Elaine, and Cindy had some time to leave the stage. "It looks like you're doing pretty well," she said.

"I am," I replied. "I took your advice and I'm actually enjoying this."

It was at that point that one of the guys I had seen drinking back at the bar came up to me and said, "I want you to dance with me."

I was stunned. "I'm sorry," I replied, I don't do that. Besides, I'm working."

"I said, I want you to dance with me!" he said again more forcefully. He was certainly rude.

"Oh, go ahead and dance with him," said Cindy. "I'll watch the board for you and this will be a new experience for you. Every girl likes to dance."

"But Cindy," I started. I didn't get to say anymore because the guy grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the booth onto the dance floor. It was easy to see that he was more than a little bit drunk.

We had just started dancing to the very upbeat tune when it ended. Good! I thought to myself, I can get out of this now. But the band went right into the next song, a slow one, and he grabbed me and pulled me close up against him. He put both his arms around my back like he was hugging me and I had nowhere else to put my arms except around his neck. I was very aware that even in my high heels, he was taller than I was. He "led" me around the floor in a clumsy fashion. Of course I wasn't helping matters any with my inexperience at dancing in high heels. Having someone else in control and going backwards all the time is a unique experience, let me tell you. He also kept trying to grind his pelvis into mine and I could definitely feel he had a hard on.

When the song finally ended, he said "Thanks," and then just left me. I walked back to Cindy at the booth.

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked.

"He was rude!" I said. "I don't think I ever want to do that again."

"You win some, you lose some," she said. "I have to get back. Glad to see that you're enjoying it."

 

Around midnight, I had to pee pretty badly. I had been holding it for quite a while since I was a little bit concerned about going into the men's room dressed like I was and I wasn't sure how I would be accepted in the ladies room. As soon as the band started their last break, I couldn't wait anymore and headed for the men's room. There were a few guys in there who all just looked at me as I went into one of the stalls to sit down and relieve myself. When I came out, and started to wash my hands, the guy who had danced with me was standing right there. "Are you a boy or a girl?" he asked. "I can see you're a boy, but I danced that whole tune with you and tried my best to get some kind of a rise out of your cock, but I couldn't even feel a cock on you. Maybe you should show me what you have under that dress honey, and then maybe you should suck my cock for being so nice and dancing with you."

I was suddenly real scared. "No! Go away!" I said.

Suddenly he just grabbed me and started trying to pull up my dress. Trying to fight him off was not easy since he was bigger than I was and those heels were keeping me off balance. It was then that I suddenly saw Stan coming around the corner of the stalls where he must have just finished peeing. "Stan," I called. "Help me!"

I don't even think my attacker heard me because he was just intent on trying to get my dress up. Two seconds later, Stan pulled the guy off me, and I had the pleasure of seeing Stan literally throw him across the room, an awesome display of Stan's strength. "Get out of here!" he yelled at the guy. And a moment later, my attacker was running out the door.

"Thanks Stan," is said, "I really appreciate it."

"What the hell are you doing in here anyway!" he said. "You don't belong in here. That would never have happened if you had stayed out. Now get out!" For some reason, he was very angry at me. So I walked out with him practically pushing me all the way.

We went out back, behind the club where there was a small "break" area with a picnic table. The rest of the band was already out there enjoying the cool night air.

"What happened to you?" Elaine asked as soon as she saw me. "You're all messed up!"

So I related the entire incident in the men's room to them. "If it wasn't for Stan," I concluded, "I would have been in deep trouble."

"He should never have been in there in the first place!" said Stan angrily. And then something in Stan just snapped! "And I'm going to make sure it never happens again!"

And with that, he suddenly reached out and grabbed the hair on the very top of my head in his big fist. "Ow! Stop!" I cried, grabbing his big arm with both my hands trying to fight him off.

Suddenly, I was tripping and stumbling backwards as he propelled me by my hair, until I bumped up against the cement wall. Then he banged my head against the wall. "Do I have your attention now?" he asked. I could hear everybody else shouting at him to stop. "Stay out of this!" he commanded them. "What happened tonight should never have happened, and I'm going to make sure it never happens again! Now sissy," he said, "lets get some things straight. Do you wear panties?" he asked.

"Yes," was all I could say. I was scared, his grip on my hair was hurting me terribly, and all I could do was to hang on to his big arm and hope he wouldn't hurt me more.

"Do men wear panties?" he asked next.

"No," I answered.

"Do sissies wear panties?"

"Yes," I said.

"Do men wear dresses?"

"No," I answered again.

"Do you wear dresses?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Do sissies wear dresses?"

"Yes," I said again.

"Do men stand up to pee?" he asked next.

"Yes," I said.

"Do you stand up to pee?"

"I can't," I said.

"Do sissies sit down to pee like a girl?"

"Yes," I said.

"Now let's be perfectly clear about this," he said, and then he started banging my head against the wall to emphasize his words. "Are" (bang) "You" (bang) "A Man?" (bang).

There were tears starting to form in my eyes. He wasn't banging my head too hard, but I was really scared and his grip on my hair really hurt. "No," I managed to say.

"Are you a sissy?" (bang).

"Yes," I said.

"Now tell me what you're not!"

"I'm not a man," I said.

"What are you?"

"I'm a sissy."

"Say it all!" he commanded.

"I'm not a man, I'm a sissy," I said.

"Again!" he yelled.

"I'm not a man, I'm a sissy," I repeated.

"Good," he finally said, but he wasn't through yet. "Is it dangerous (bang) for sissies to go into the men's room?"

"Yes," I said.

"Should sissies ever go into a men's room?"

"No," I answered.

"Tell me what sissies shouldn't ever do!" he said.

"Sissies shouldn't ever go into the men's room," I answered.

"And are you a sissy?"

"Yes," I said.

"Now," he continued. "This is going to turn out to be a big day of promises for you. Since you're a sissy, I want you to promise me that you'll never ever even try to go into a men's room again! Promise it! (bang)."

The tears were definitely flowing from my eyes now and I was thoroughly humiliated. "I promise." I finally said.

"No, say all of it!" he commanded.

"I promise that I will never go into a men's room again."

"Ever! Under any circumstances!" he said. "Say it again!"

"I promise to never, ever, go into a men's room again, under any circumstances."

"Good. Now let's take it from the top. What aren't you?"

"I'm not a man," I said, "I'm a sissy."

"And what shouldn't sissies ever do?"

"Sissies shouldn't ever go into a men's room."

"And your promise."

"I promise to never ever go into a men's room again, under any circumstances."

Then he dragged me by my hair to face the rest of the group. Even through the tears in my eyes I could see the shocked looks on their faces. "Now I want you to say it all, for them!"

"I'm not a man, I'm a sissy," I cried. "Sissies shouldn't ever go into a men's room. I promise to never ever go into a men's room again, under any circumstances."

"One more time!" he commanded.

"I'm not a man, I'm a sissy," I repeated. "Sissies shouldn't ever go into a men's room. I promise to never ever go into a men's room again, under any circumstances."

"Good," he said at last, "now we've got that settled." And he released my hair and walked back into the club with a very satisfied look on his face.

I was crying. I was humiliated. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, hugging myself, and cried like a baby. Cindy came over to me and hugged me and tried to sooth me. "There, there," she said. "It's alright." I just laid my head on her shoulder and wept. Finally, when I had calmed down enough to pick my head up and stop crying, she said "Let's get back inside, I have just enough time to fix your makeup before we start."

She led me to where she had stashed her purse back stage, sat me down on a chair and went to work. For some reason, her simple attention in repairing my makeup was very comforting. "I'm afraid that'll have to do for now," she said as she stood up. "Now lets finish up this gig and get out of here."

"Thanks Cindy," was all I said and made my way back to the sound booth.

I spent that whole last set in a state of shock. I don't think a single thought was even able to go through my mind. I think I just stared vacantly out into the room for a long time. Eventually, I realized, that the band was on their last song and was saying goodnight. When they finished, I turned my equipment off and made sure everything would be secure until tomorrow night.

Mr. Murphy came over and said "Great job! Everybody loved it. Wow, you really look tired. Go get some rest, we'll see you tomorrow." And he left. I'm pretty sure I didn't even answer him. I also didn't say a word all the way back to the hotel. No one did.

When we got back to the room, I think Cindy realized that I was still pretty much out of it. She had to tell me get undressed and to wash my makeup off. The water splashing against my face felt really good and made me feel a little better. "Here's your nightgown," she said as she handed me a pink, full-length nightgown that I had bought last year some time.

"Thanks," was all I said.

"Now get into bed and get some sleep," she said. "I'm sure you need it."

I gratefully followed her direction and climbed into bed, arranging my nightgown so that it covered as much of my legs as possible. I watched Cindy in her babydoll nighty busy herself with washing up and hanging up our dresses. I never did see her turn out the light and get into bed. Exhaustion had taken over and I was sound asleep.

  

  

  

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