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Sissy Baby's Diary
by
Deewet
The following are excerpts from a adult baby diary found a few years back at a garage sale. I have no idea if it truly happened.
Saturday:
College is no different than the rest of my life. Because of my size, I 'm forgotten, looked over, lonely. It might be better to be a dwarf, at least they don't look like a kid, but me, I'm just little. People mistake me for an eight year old and I have to buy all my clothes in the kids department.
I've always been a basketball fan, especially women's basketball. I've been to all the home games this winter and today, this nice lady came over and talked to me. She had seen me at the games.
I could tell right away she used to play. I felt so small sitting next to her – I swear she is over 6'3'' tall. We talked about the game and she bought me a drink and a dog, which always helps on my meager funds.
She indeed played center ten years ago and now coached a high school team. Her name is Linda.
Now I can't get her out of my mind or forget the feelings of being a child with her.
Tuesday:
I can't believe it. Linda was at the game again today and saved me a seat next to her. After being so alone, it felt wonderful to have someone to talk with. I swear I fell in love with her, which seeing our vast size difference is utterly ridiculous. No doubt, she had tall basketball boyfriends and was just being nice to me, like a younger brother, but I just didn't care. She made me feel so comfortable, I didn't mind the glances we got in line for a coke at half time.
After the game, she had to leave, but she made me promise to be at the next game. I can't sleep thinking about her and wishing I wasn't so little.
Thursday
I really don't know how to start. Linda called me and instead of going to the game, she picked me up and I spent the evening AT HER PLACE. She cooked and we spent the evening talking and watching movies. Nothing happen sexually, but I did fall asleep with my head in her lap. I can barely keep my mind on school.
Friday
Spent the evening again at Linda's. The only problem is I don't feel like we are on a date or anything. She is so much taller than me I feel like a child.
Sunday
Today something really strange happened, I almost feel weird writing it down. I fell asleep again with my head in her lap -- she likes me in her lap and it is so relaxing to have her play with my hair or rub my shoulders. I awoke this time to her feeding me from a baby bottle. At first, I was so drowsy, I just start suckling, but then I realized what was happening.
She calmed me down, saying, "I just thought you could use the bottle and not have to get up for a drink. And, you look so cute with it."
I should have told her to stop, that I wanted to be her man despite out size difference. I wanted to remind her that I was a 19-year-old man…but I didn't. Her eyes melted me and I let her feed me the bottle.
The worse part is I hope she feeds me again. How weird am I?
Wednesday
I had my first orgasm last night – well not my first – but my first given by someone else. Linda wanted me to stop by after classes, so I took a bus over to her place. I'm not sure how she can afford her two-story brick townhouse on a teacher salary. It is really nice in one of the best neighborhoods around campus.
My hands still shake when I think about it. I'll try to put everything down that happened. Linda was dressed in a nice dress, one that might remind you that housewives wore in old TV shows. She even had pearls around her neck.
As she finished preparing dinner, I noticed a package of disposable diapers next to the lounge chair. When I looked closer I saw they were for large kids.
She called me in the kitchen and we had a nice dinner. Our conversation was about things she had read about people playing games in the bedroom. I could barely talk but head spinning about where I THOUGHT this was going…boy was I wrong.
"I want to baby you tonight," she said.
I think I said okay. Then she did something that really brought reality home for me. She lifted me up to sit on the counter, so we could look at each other. This showed me that I had no business thinking I could be a man to her. I just wanted to leave.
But, I didn't. She told me the diapers in the living room were for me. "Will you were them for me?"
What could I do? Go back to my lonely cramped apartment.
I jumped from the counter. "I'm not sure how to put them on," I said to her.
"Oh, I want to diaper you."
This scared me. Any thoughts she might have in making love with me would be shattered when she saw my tiny pen-s.
But, then again, the lonely apartment waiting for me.
She first had me put on a yellow tee-shirt, no doubt from the children's department. On the floor of the living room she spreaded out a blanket, patting it for me to lie on my back.
"I don't want you to laugh."
She stopped me from saying anything more. "Hush, little Jimmy.
I dared not look in her eyes as she pulled off my pants and underwear. I heard the crackling of the disposable diaper and lifted my hips so she could slide it under me. She, bless her, made no comments about my size as she sprinkled baby powder and rubbed it in. A step in our relationship happened when she taped the diaper closed…it was as if signified my acceptance as being her little one.
"Oh my," she said in a whisper. "They fit you. I can't believe how cute these make you."
I felt so exposed, only wearing a diaper and a shirt. Like a little one, she carried me to the couch.
We started watching a movie, me in my usual spot, head in her lap.
"No need for you get up to go pee now," she said.
"You want me to go in these?" I couldn't believe it.
She began to rub the front of my diaper, the plastic rustling so loud. It began to feel really good and I must have moaned. From nowhere, Linda produced a large pacifier and pushed it into my mouth. I sucked hard on it, ready to do anything for her, as long as she rubbed my diaper.
When I came, I actually whimpered around my pacifier, the feeling was so great. Waves of pent up emotions washed over me. Just writing this has me excited and I start rubbing the diaper I'm wearing. Yes, I'm wearing one because she asked me to take them home and wear. Linda wants me to grow used to using them.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
Wednesday
School has kept me busy so I haven't had time to write. It is scaring me the hold Linda seems to have over me. I haven't seen her since Sunday, but I can't help but obey her about the diapers. Besides being outside, I've worn the Pampers all the time like she asked. I feel guilty not wearing them under my jean to school, but the noise they make is too loud.
Funny, I'm starting to like wearing them. It is convenient not to stop doing homework or watching TV to go to the bathroom. I've gotten to the point I can let it go without thinking much about it. In fact, I am usually surprised how much I have wetting the diaper during changing.
Sleeping with them on at first was hard. I kept waking up feeling guilty, like I was doing something wrong. And my dreams are all about diapers and Linda.
Thursday
Linda called this morning. She wanted to know how my diaper wearing was going. I lied and told her I wore them under my jeans to school. She wants me to come over tomorrow. Said she has a surprise.
Well, karma got me for lying about the diapers. I was sitting in the large study hall, engrossed in Lit work when I started wetting my pants. I guess it was because I have been wearing the diaper at home while studying, my mind just decided to pee. I stopped myself but not before I was soaked. The only way to get out was too wait until I dried, which would be hours later or spill the pop I was drinking. I went for the pop spilling.
Friday
Because of the accident, I wore diapers today to school. Hopefully nothing important was taught because all I thought about were the diapers. To hide the noise, I carried a noisy plastic bag from the grocery store.
It was nice not having to go to the bathrooms all day. I always go in the stalls because of the urinal heights. Since I live just off campus, I went home twice to change.
I'm worried about where all this headed. I also think a lot about how much I love Linda.
More Friday
After I last wrote to you I got a package from UPS. It was from Linda. My hands trembled as I opened it. Inside was a baby romper – well not a baby's since it was big enough for me. It was brown with a tan top and brown shorts bottom. It had a zipper in the back and snaps at the crotch. I let it fall to floor, frightened by it.
Her note in the package begged me to wear it to her house this evening, diapered of course. She wanted me to stay for the weekend, "no reason to pack."
No doubt, she planned this to be a weekend of playing baby.
Knowing this, I closed all my curtains tight and stripped down to my diaper. The first thing I did was tape on a clean diaper then I stepped into the romper. Getting the zipper up in the back was a struggle. I had snapped the crotch before putting the romper on.
It felt…well very strange being in the romper. It made me feel very small and young. Then I noticed something else had fallen from the package. It was a little lock and a note. I was to click it shut on the zipper to show my trust.
For almost a half and hour I sat looking at the lock, knowing I'd be locked in this romper until she let me out. But, in the end, I trusted her and locked it in place.
Since I have no car, driving is so hard at my size, I will have to take the campus shuttle bus to her place.
I'll let you know on Monday how my weekend goes.
Darn, I should have gone to the bathroom before locking myself in this romper.
I should be doing homework but I can't think straight at all after this weekend, so much happened.
Locked and diapered in my romper I had no choice but to go to Linda's for the weekend. She had said not to pack anything, but I still thought to take an overnight bag with some clothes in case I changed my mind after getting there – little did I know at that point she wouldn't give me a chance to control anything for the weekend.
My first problem was how to get to her place dressed like this. She probably thought I'd just drive over, but because of money and my smallness, I didn't have a car. The only way for me to get there was by the campus bus.
Good thing it has turned chilly and I could at least wear a coat. Unfortunately, the bottom of the romper bubbled out like a baby's with elastic around the legs. I thought to wear sweat pants over them on the bus, but her instructions told me to wear just the romper and for some stupid reason, like a child, I was afraid to disobey.
In the end, I wore a long coat, a little to heavy for the weather.
Of course, my luck the bus was almost full. I ended up sitting next to this nice looking older woman, Mexican I think. If felt as if she and the others stared at me in my coat, as if my secret was exposed.
Another unfortunate thing, I had to pee badly and the bouncy ride on the bus didn't help. Cautiously, I released into my waiting diaper. A real rush flowed through my body with my wetting. There I was, sitting in the midst of people, wearing a baby romper hidden under my coat, secretly wetting my diaper.
The Mexican woman kept glancing over at me. I worried that she heard the rustling of my diaper as the bus jostled us. At one point, she asked me in heavy accented English, if where my parent were and if I need help on knowing my stop.
Most times, I get real defensive when someone confuses me for a kid, but this time, dressed as I was, I played along and told her, thanks, but I was going to my aunts place. I can't explain the nice comforting feeling of her concern. It must have been the wet diaper making me a little crazy.
My first big surprise of the weekend was at Linda's front door. I'll write more in a few, but I need to change my diaper and get some homework done first.
Okay, I'm back with a fresh disposable diaper on me. Funny how things change. On Friday, the disposable felt heavy and thick between my legs, but after a weekend of thick cloth diapers, this feels life I'm not wearing a diaper.
Back to the front door surprise. When the two tall girls opened Linda's front door, I thought I might have gone to the wrong house. It really freaked me, but as I stammered to say I must have made a mistake, the tallest…and I might add, big as a football player…just stepped out and picked me up as if I were a kid.
How adorable, she said as I was helpless carried into Linda's place. When she held me, my hidden diaper crinkled loudly, making me want to hide with embarrassment. Linda yelled from the kitchen to put me on the blanket in the living room.
I wanted so much at that point to run home, figuring I'd cut my way out of the romper. The girl sat me on a large blanket, adorned with a design of babies playing with rattles. I have never felt as small as I did sitting there on the floor, looking up at the smiling girls.
"Take off that coat, silly," said Linda as she came into the room. "Show Debbie and Cindy the cute romper I sent you."
My eyes were fixed on what Linda carried. To looked to a real diaper and light blue plastic pants. I started to protest, but she pent over and stuck a pacifier in my mouth.
"No more talking for you."
I just couldn't open my coat and expose my shame to these girls, so Linda knelt next to me, put down her supplies, and unbuttoned my coat for me.
The girls squealed with delight, saying how cute I was in my little romper.
"Time to get you into some real diapers."
At that point, resistance was stupid. What was I to do, run outside and take a bus home in my romper. Linda pushed me down on my back. I looked up at the ceiling and the smiling faces as she unsnapped the crotch of the romper.
"Look, she's wet."
The pronoun didn't escape me.
I can't describe the emotions that went through me as she changed me in front of the others. I closed my eyes and the disposable was torn open. The air in the room felt cool against my exposed wet skin. When she started wiping me and then rubbing baby powder around my area I could feel myself growing excited.
"It is so little and cute. She likes her diapers doesn't she?"
"We should get ride of her nasty hair."
Linda got up, leaving me exposed on the blanket. In a minute she returned and I felt shaving cream being applied down there. My pubic hair is blond and very light so he didn't take long before I was as smooth as a baby down there.
Thankfully she had me lift my bottom so she could slide the cloth diaper under me. In a moment she had it tightly pinned on me. Next she worked the plastic pants up my legs and again I had to lift so she could get these over the bulging diaper.
And bulging was right. After she snapped the crotch on my romper she pulled me up to stand. The diaper bubbled way out in my romper, leaving nothing to doubt that I was diapered.
One thing I realized then was Linda and the two girls liked showing their power over me by carrying me around. Linda reached down and picked me up, her arms cradling my padded behind as I instinctively wraps my little arms around her neck.
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you about Debbie and Cindy," said Linda. "I was their coach a few years back and…well… I let out our secret and they –"
"We loved the idea of playing baby with you," said Debbie.
"We can be your aunts."
"Your dirty aunts."
Linda laughed. "Will one of you get Nancy's bottle."
My head was already spinning and calling me Nancy didn't help.
Linda cradled me like a baby and took the bottle from Cindy. Out came by pacifier and she teased me with the nipple. "Come on, I know you're hungry."
Surprisingly and a little disturbing was I began to enjoy our playacting. The bottle felt right in my mouth and cradled in her strong arms, wearing a diaper and plastic pants, I relaxed and suckled the bottle.
The milk was warm and sweet, not really all that good tasting. Linda and the girls talked as if I weren't there, making plans to buy me dresses and frillies from Ebay. Debbie had a laptop and kept showing me pictures of the things they were going to buy. It sure appeared they were planning more than this weekend to have me in diapers and dresses.
I wasn't sure on how to take this turn – me being made into a baby girl. Although little, and despite being approached by more than one man in the past, I never considered myself gay, nor did I entertain wearing girls clothes. But, there I was, drinking from a baby bottle while they planed just that.
Halfway through the bottle I had a problem. All my life I have had digestive problems – having to go in a hurry. I knew the signs in my stomach and also when it came, I had little time to get to a bathroom. The last thing I wanted to do was this in front of the girls.
I pulled back from the bottle.
"I have to go to the bathroom," I pleaded.
Linda pushed the bottle back into my mouth. "Silly, you're wearing a diaper all this weekend. There is no bathroom for you."
"But, you don't understand," I cried around the nipple.
She just smiled and patted my plastic pants.
I couldn't focus on the bottle as my stomach turned and I felt the unavoidable pressure at my behind. The muscles started convulsing as I tried to delay the inevitable.
Everyone stopped talking, there eyes on me as I squirmed.
Then it happened. My muscles tired and in a smelling, hot rush, I filled my diaper.
I cannot begin to describe the shame I felt as the poo poured uncontrollably into my waiting diaper, the hot wetness flowing into my crotch. I tried to pull away from the bottle to explain and apologize but her strong arms made that impossible.
Debbie said something about the mess Linda would be cleaning and Linda replied, she had no problem with cleaning up her little baby. Afterall, since I was spending every minute in diapers over the weekend, she was sure this wouldn't be the last mess.
Cindy giggled. Not after what you put in her bottle.
Helplessly, I continued with the bottle, the warm milk easing my anxieties. Linda continued to rub the front of my plastic pants, making the soft diaper caress my little pen-s, the plastic of the pants crinkling loudly. I kept my eyes close, trying to shut out everything except suckling my bottle and felling the softness of the diaper.
When I came, it caught me by surprise. Instead of the explosion I got when mast.r-bat.ng, this came in a slow wave of pleasure. I moaned around the bottle nipple, loving every moment, knowing I'd do anything for this pleasure. Another thing was my control went and I filled more of my diaper as I came.
"Nancy likes her diaper doesn't she," said Linda. "Nancy's going to love being mommies little baby girl."
I felt very sleepy after the bottle and gave no resistance as I was carried to the bedroom. Now I realize that she had put something in my milk to relax me. At the time, I was in a dream state as I was put onto a changing table…one made for real babies but could hold a little man like me. I sucked on my pacifier and drifted as my sticky diaper was removed and Linda went about cleaning my mess.
In my weird state of mind, I did think about she had spent some time getting ready for this weekend: the changing table, the stack of plastic pants and diapers – and the white crib in the corner, but it didn't seem to bother me. I was content and happy as a baby.
Nor did I think about how odd this was getting to be with a grown man being treated as a little baby. Was I the only one in the world getting a little off on being treated this way? I now know there is a whole world of people of AB's out there, but on that changing table I didn't know it. This feeling of isolation and being so different, in a way increased my willingness to submit to this game. It also helped that I was getting so much attention from these women.
Look how thick this naptime diaper is, said someone. And she was right; the thickness between my legs was incredible.
My romper was replaced with a pink gown. It tied at the bottom like a bag and made walking impossible.
I know if anyone every reads my diary they will wonder how, if I didn't want to be turned into her baby girl, why I didn't stop things at that point. But, then you have never been little like me, ignored by women or worse, mistaken to be a kid not a man. You haven't spent hopeless night, alone, dying to feel the touch of someone else, to feel loved.
So, I let Linda put me down for a nap, dressed in a pink nightgown, wearing thick diapers and plastic pants. I took the pacifier she offered and sucked on it as she pulled the curtains to dim the room. I let three women treat me like a baby.
I don't remember ever taking a better nap. The mobile of little pink sheep and fluffy clouds turned above me as I savored the feeling of my bare legs inside my pink soft sleeping sack, hearing and feeling the plastic pants against the insides of my thighs when I moved. Letting the warm pee seep into my waiting diaper.
Even now, I have no idea how long I slept, but my diaper was soaked when I awoke. I noticed a baby monitor in the room so I decided to cry like a baby for Linda.
She loved it.
Oh is little Nancy awake, she cooed at me when she returned to the room. What a good girl, taking a nap for mommy.
She loved it even more than my diaper was wet.
I see Nancy likes playing baby for me. We are going to have so much fun this weekend. The girls have gone out shopping for little Nancy. We found a nice lady on the internet who makes dresses for little girls like you and guess what…she live only a few miles from us.
Mixed emotions flooded though me – I loved the attention, but never had any fantasies about being dressed as a girl. Men did like to make passes at me, wanting to be my daddy, but I'm straight.
Linda untied my nightgown hem and pulled it up to my waist. Again, it felt so nice, lying there doing nothing but loving the feeling of her soft hands changing me. I wished she would go on forever rubbing the powder into me, but alas, another thick diaper was pinned tightly. Next came the plastic pants to keep the outside world dry. They bit tightly at my waist and legs.
She kept me in the nightgown, tying the bottom again. Next she carried me into the living room and placed me on a blanket on the floor. After my long nap and su-king on a pacifier I was thirsty and was happy for the bottle.
I'd just gotten about half of the bottle down when the front door opened and in came the shoppers. They arms were full of dresses on hangers and in plastic bags.
This isn't everything, they exclaimed. We went so overboard, but everything was so cute.
As they talked and looked at the dresses, I could only watch helplessly from my spot on the blanket, su-king on my bottle. They all were so excited and being the center of attraction – despite it being a man wearing diapers – was kind-of nice. I was never the center of attraction for women.
After checking the web once I got back to my place tonight, I now know they must have spent a fortune on my baby dresses. This fact alone tells me that our baby game will not end anytime in the near future.
As soon as my bottle was finished, we played dress-up. I have to admit my perceptions changed on this game when they put me in my first dress. Hopefully I can capture that special moment on paper. Like I said before, I had never worn any girls clothing.
First I was taken out of my nightgown and left to stand in only my thick diaper. My pink plastic pants were replaced with pink nylon pants lined in vinyl. To add to the sissyness, four rows of ruffles ran across the seat.
The first dress was made of pink satin with ruffles everywhere. Cindy asked me step in to the dress and pulled it up over my bulging diaper. She then took my arms, which in comparison to their muscular arms, were little sticks. The dress felt as a cloud as my arms came out the ruffled, balloon sleeves. I felt myself slip into some unknown spot in my mind as she zipped up the back. Somehow, being in this little girl dress that fit me perfectly, pushed this beyond a game of dress up. I felt a strange warmth inside my diaper and my legs felt rubbery.
They weren't finished there. Fancy socks were put on my little feet and white little girl shoes – Mary Jane's – I have learned, came next.
My hair is a little long and very soft. They wouldn't let me look in the mirror until they finished putting my hair into a ponytail tied with a huge pink ribbon.
"We'll have to get Nancy a petticoat before the party next week." said Linda as they worked on my hair.
"Party?" I questioned nervously, now very afraid they planned to take me outside dressed this way.
Linda pushed a pacifier into my mouth. It's Halloween next week and we plan to take you as our little baby girl. Now, one more word from you and one of these nice young ladies will have to give Nancy a spanking.
My mind raced about how to get out of that party – until they let me stand in front of the mirror.
I couldn't believe it was me. Standing there in this short pink dress, my diapered filled panties in plain sight, was a little girl. I was gone, replaced by someone else. The warmth in my diaper grew and then, with three hot, big women surrounding me, making a fuse on how cute I was, I came in my diaper. It was so surprising that I sucked in hard on my pacifier and moaned. My knees bucked and I flopped onto the floor, my butt cushioned by the fluffy diaper.
And then I did something unexpected. I started crying. All my years of being alone, not accepted because of my size, rushed from me and I sobbed.
Linda picked me up from the floor and held me on the couch as I continued crying. She whispered that everything was okay, that mommy would take care of little Nancy.
As I sit here writing in my diary, tears are welling up in my eyes and I wish my mommy Linda was holding me. Strange how lonely and scary my apartment seems to me now.
Back to the weekend. Finally I stopped crying and accepted another bottle from Cindy. The warm milk seemed to help me calm down. I had to drink it sitting up because of the full petticoat. Linda sat me on an oversized wooden chair that she had placed on a carpeted platform. This made it so my feet were well off the floor, making it easy to swing my little feet like a little girl as I suckled the bottle.
Oh no, tears are running down my face now as I think about the next turn in my weekend. With the girls and Linda being so big and basketball players, I was starting to think they must be gay. Well as I drank my bottle I learned different.
They had boyfriends. How do I know? Well as I drank, the doorbell rang. In came two huge football players. Playing as a little girl for Linda and the girls is one thing. To be dressed as a little girl – in wet diapers – in front of other men, well – I can't begin to explain the humiliation. As I said before, I'm not gay.
I really wanted to run away, but dressed as I was, no an option. It was then I realized I had been trapped.
As you might expect, the two guys were very macho and interested in their women, but also were intrigued by me. They made off color comments about how I should be ready to su-k on something more than a bottle, dressed the way I was. This scared me a lot, seeing I would be helpless to stop something like that from happening.
Seems they were all going out to dinner. Linda told the men to wait and have a beer while she got her little sissy ready for bed.
My dress was removed and diaper changed. This time Linda put what she called doublers in my thick diaper. The result was the material being so think between my legs, that I could not come close to closing them.
Again she put on my nightgown. I was seriously thinking about escaping while they were out, but any hope was over when Cindy came in with some rope. I started to whimper around my pacifier, but Linda held my wrist in her strong hands as Cindy bound my ankles. It's to keep my baby girl safe in her bed, said Linda.
By the way Carol did the ropes, it was obvious she had tied someone up before and knew what she was doing. The thick diaper pressed against my thighs painfully from my tied ankles.
The rope was thankfully soft and she didn't bind my wrist behind my back. Instead she firmly bound them in front me.
My pacifier was replaced with a gag. When I say it was a short rubber pen-s, I shook my head. Linda held my head as Carol rammed the pen-s home. The wide belt of the gag was buckled behind my head.
They lifted me and put me in the baby bed. With another short rope, my bound wrists were secured to the bars.
I'd never been bound before and the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. The pen-s gag effectively silenced any protest and I knew I was going nowhere until Linda came home.
I lost track of time as I was bound in the crib, my cries silenced by the pen-s filling my mouth. This turn of events had left me so frightened. What if she decided to never let me out of her place? There was nothing I could do. She had made me helpless.
I'm certain there were drugs in the bottle because I fell asleep and did not wake until Linda came home – very drunk. Sometime in the evening I vaguely recall waking up to an urgent need to dirty my diaper. I remember trying to fight it but lost as warm soft poo filled my diaper.
Then incredibly, I went back to sleep.
Linda staggered into my crib, commenting on the smell. I was mortified lying there in my dirty diaper, bound and gagged. Reality also hit me when I saw she wasn't alone. That a man was with her.
Now, I should have known by the way she had treated me we were not be lovers in the sense on a man and woman, but I had fallen under her spell and thought our playing would lead to something. As I helplessly heard him later screwing her, while I was bound in a crib, my diapers full, a gag filling my mouth, I never felt lower.
My mind during that long night, wondered over my miserable life, being so little and cute. Was this my destiny? To be treated as a little baby by women. To be reduced to needing love so badly I was willing to wear and use diapers. Then I began to realize that the choice might not be mine to make.
Then something more strange went through my mind as I heard Linda su-king on the guy. I though about the rubber c-ck filling my mouth and the one Linda was su-king on. My tongue explored the lifelike head and ridges and wondered what a real on would feel like. Could I actually do something like that?
Sometime in the night I fell back asleep. In the morning, Linda was very hung over but also nice to me. She untied me and took me into the bathroom. I was a mess inside my diaper but she didn't seem to mind. Gently she cleaned me up and then gave me a wonderful hot bath.
I had made the resolution to tell her I had enough, but somehow I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready to walk from being babied.
Instead of a thick cloth diaper, she put me in a disposable pamper, followed by pink plastic pants. Next she had me slip on a plaid skirt that zipped up in the back. I knew something was up when she had me slide on a bra and filled the cups with inserts. This was covered with a white blouse that buttoned up the back.
Linda had me sit down to put on my lacy white socks and black Mary Jane shoes.
She smiled at me. "Let's get a wig on you and some makeup and you'll pass easily."
"What?" I said.
"I'm coaching a game today. You don't want to stay in your crib all day, do you?"
This scared me to death. Yes, I'd worn the baby jumper on the bus to get here but I had it hidden under my coat. Now, she wanted me to go outside, pretending to be a girl.
What if someone talks to me, I asked.
So talk back to them. Your voice already sounds like a little girls.
That hurt me. I'd always worried about my voice. Many time people thought I was a girl on the phone.
My worries dissolved when she finished with the wig and make-up. Standing in front of the narrow I did look like a thirteen-year-old girl, dressed a little sassy in my skirt and Mary Janes.
"The diaper will keep you from having to go into the girls bathroom." She went into the kitchen and brought be a baby bottle. "Besides, you're still my little baby. No drinking from a cup at the game or eating big people food."
Then I asked a stupid question. Stupid because of what came next.
"What if I have to go poop?
She handed me the bottle and smiled. "How could I have forgotten."
I suckled my bottom on the couch, worried about that evil look on her face. Soon she came back from the bedroom.
"Lie down on the floor," she instructed.
I did, still working on my bottle.
"Mommy can make sure your diaper stays only wet."
She pushed up my skirt, pulled down my plastic pants and untapped my still dry diaper.
"Roll over onto your belly and stick that cute butt into the air."
After nervously complying, I glanced over at myself in the mirror on the wall. There I say a sissy with her round butt in the air with pink plastic pants wrapped around her ankles.
Then I saw she was spreading Vaseline on a blue butt plug.
"Don't do that," I pleaded.
"shh," she commanded, putting a pacifier in my mouth to silence me.
I still whimpered as she pressed the plug against my virgin hole. At first it felt like she was ramming a baseball bat into me and I didn't think it would fit – then it disappeared – filling me.
"Now we are safe." She turned me back over and started replacing my diaper. "I'm so happy you reminded me."
I wasn't glad. The thing occupied my mind and I was terrified to walk around, dressed as a girl, wearing a diaper and plastic pants, while my rear was plugged.
Authors note:
I'm not sure if pages were missing from the diary, but it picks up at the basketball game…
As you know, this all started because of my fascination with women's basketball. No way did I ever dream I'd ever be sitting courtside in a skirt.
Linda's team won the game but I never paid attention. The butt plug never left my mind, being rammed up in me from sitting. I also had to keep my mind on having my knees together so no one across the court could see I was wearing plastic pants.
Of course, I wasn't alone. Strangers sat all around me and I could hear the whispers and see the glances. If you have ever been to a women's game you would know that my little girl look did not fit in with the attire of those around me. I'm not a dummy and I know most of the woman watching the game were gay and I also knew why the glances. They thought I was a woman playing like a girl.
It wasn't until the second half that a few ventured to talk to me. I was scared to death when I first opened my mouth, sure my voice would give it away, that is was a man dressed in girls clothing. I wasn't playing when I acted shy, I really felt like a little girl around grown-ups. The women around me loved it. They played along, asking me whom I like on the team. Soon, they had bought me a slushy and cotton candy. I knew I wasn't supposed to eat big kid food or drink from a cup, but thankfully, Linda glanced up and nodded.
I started to relax and have fun. It was so neat to be the center of attraction and not be me, to not be the little guy. To be turning on those around me.
"Do you need to go to the girls room?" asked the woman next to me. "We're going."
I told her no, thinking that I'd just gone in my diaper. That in itself was so vastly strange. To be sitting around people as you silently wet your diaper.
"After that big drink you must have to go."
It was then that a basketball player ran into us as she scrambled for the ball. I tumbled to the floor and worst of all, my skirt flew up and exposed my plastic pants to the world.
They help me up and asked if I was okay. Luckily I was done with my slushy. For a moment I thought maybe no one noticed my diapered state.
Not to be. The woman leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I see mommy has you protected. Are you wet? I'd love to change you/"
I lowered my head in shame.
"I bet you have a clean diaper in your bag."
She took me strongly by the hand.
The rest of that evening at the game is somewhat a haze. After the changing in the women's room, something clicked in my mind and I fell more into the part of a little girl in diapers. It happened as I was being led back to our seat, secure in my dry thick diaper. Maybe it was a defense mechanism against the humiliation of being so obviously diapered under my skirt. Or maybe it was because my identity was slipping away under the girlish exterior. I was no longer a man.
The women were all so nice to me as we sat through the rest of the game and I sat there, diapered, my Mary Jane's not reaching the floor, watching those wonderful bigger than me women play basketball. I gave up trying to keep my knees together with the thick cloth between my thighs. No doubt everyone across the court could see my pink plastic pants.
I didn't even try to stay dry. As soon as the urge hit, I released the hot stream into my diaper. My stomach rumbled and I was surely glad then for the butt plug.
It was like being on drugs, outside looking in at this little girl I'd become. After the game, Linda and friends went out to celebrate at the local campus pub. She seemed very happy with me and this made me feel so good, like a baby pleasing her mommy.
The place was crowded with people, most young and very nice looking. I was squeezed into a both with eight huge women, all excited about the basketball win, and all giving me a lot of attention. Here it was a real advantage to be diapered since I didn't have to keep getting up to use the bathroom.
Across the table from me was one woman with huge breast. I couldn't help from staring at them. It was like they were calling for me. And, strangely, it wasn't a sexual thing. I just wanted to be snuggled in between them. She leaned over and whispered something to Linda.
I looked away, afraid I was in trouble.
The girls moved around in the booth, two of them leaving. Linda took me by the hand and slid me over next to the big breast woman. Before I could figure out what was happening, she lifted her shirt some and I was forced underneath the nylon material. I couldn't believe this was happening and released some pee into my diaper.
She had lifted her bra to exposed the huge boobs. Gently I was forced toward a pencil-sized nipple. Sound was muffled under her shirt, but I could hear the laughter. The nipple filled my mouth and instinctively I began to suckle. The nipple grew harder and I continued to su-k.
Then something warm, sticky and sweet filled my mouth. I tried to pull away in revulsion but a strong hand kept my head in place. I started to whimper as I swallowed the milk. I could believe it. I was actually being breast fed, in a bar full of people, wearing a wet diaper.
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