Shawn's Addiction

by Starhawk

 

Chapter 10

The trip back home was uneventful, but we were going home, and that made the trip seem to go faster. There was the anticipation and excitement of going home and the sadness at leaving such a beautiful place on the water. In my mind though, going home won out between the two because going home meant seeing my friends, and Jake, in particular. The thought of seeing Jake seemed to excite me more than usual and while I wasn't totally sure why, I did have my suspicions. One of them had to do with a certain blond woman who lived only in my dreams.

We got into town around 3 in the morning with mom driving the last leg of the journey. Dad woke me up and we all went inside to get some sleep. We left the unpacking of the van until later.

Terri and I made our way to our bedrooms and, more importantly, our beds. I flopped down and was asleep before I knew it.

The morning sun didn't get my attention until well past 9am. By then it was a comfortable 85 degrees outside with bright robin's egg blue skies above. It was going to be a perfect day in Texas. Then again, what else would one expect from the Lone Star state.

I lay in bed until 9:30 when I finally headed into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water felt wonderful as it washed away the grime of the trip. I turned the water off, wrapped the towel around me, and headed back to my room.

I heard mom and dad walking around outside my bedroom and heard them talking about getting the van unpacked. I decided it was time to get dressed so I put on my panties and bra then pulled on a pair of jeans and a white cotton t-shirt. I tied the t-shirt front in a knot like I had seen Terri do on some occasions and liked the image I had created. Very sexy, I thought to myself.

After making a final check in the mirror I left my room and headed downstairs to help unpack. I passed them in the kitchen as they took their luggage up to their room. I found Terri by the rear of the van grabbing her big suitcase. I helped her haul it out so that she could take it inside. Just before she left the garage she turned to me and said, "Nice look, Erin."

"Thanks."

I looked in the van and caught sight of my backpack and grabbed it. I also found my suitcase and got it too. Both were pretty light so I took them up to my room and headed back for another trip.

With the four of us working as a team we unloaded everything within a half hour.

Once that was done, dad pulled the car out into the driveway to wash it off. Dad asked if I would help and I agreed. I changed my jeans for a pair of shorts and met dad out by the van. After dad hosed the car off to get the majority of dirt off I went around with soap and a sponge and gave the van a good scrub. With the Texas sun heating up nicely we had to work fast or else we would have to deal with the streaks. Not that we couldn't handle them, we just didn't want to if we didn't have to.

I worked fast and when I got one side ready dad came by with the hose again and began rinsing it off. Working as fast as we were it was hard not to get a little wet sometimes. It was almost expected, then again getting wet on a hot day was not a bad thing. However, this time I had my breasts to consider and I had forgotten what could happen when breasts, water, and t-shirts mix.

I was working on the front wheel on the passenger side and stood up just as dad was spraying the hood. The water was deflected off the hood and splashed all over my bountiful boobs and me.

"Dad!"

"Oops. Sorry Erin."

"It's okay dad. Its just water."

"It may be water, but you better go inside and change your shirt."

"Why?" I asked.

Dad just looked down at my chest. I followed his gaze and saw the reason for his suggestion. I looked down and realized I was displaying my new assets in all of their glory.

"Oh, crap!" I smiled in my embarrassment, then covered them with my hands, and scrambled off inside to change my shirt.

I passed Terri in the hallway and she just smiled and said, "Very nice, sis."

"Yeah. Tell me about it. Dad got me with the hose."

"Maybe so, but with a rack like that you'll have to be more careful playing around water. Unless . . ."

"Unless what?" I asked.

"Unless you wanted to get wet."

"What? You're kidding right?" I replied.

"You tell me."

"No way, sis. I didn't do this on purpose if that's what you're thinking. Dad just got me with the hose. That's all."

"Okay. Okay. Just checking Erin. You'd better go change."

"Yeah."

I smiled sheepishly and went inside my room. In private, I went to the mirror in my closet where I could see for myself what the others had seen. It was an incredible thing to see my bra-encased breasts through the t- shirt. I took the shirt and bra off and dried myself off with a towel. I went over to my bureau and got another one, which paid tribute to one of my favorite bands – Pink Floyd. It was a black t-shirt that wouldn't be so, umm, revealing, if it got wet. After a final check I went back to help dad finish washing the van, but it was all done.

Mom and Terri made lunch and we all sat down for some peace and quiet. At about 2 in the afternoon I heard the phone ring from my room where I was reading a magazine Terri had given me on fashion. She figured I needed to find a style that fit me so she gave it to me to look through. "Shawn, it's Jake." Dad yelled up.

"Coming!" I put the magazine down and practically ran down the stairs. I picked up the phone and said, "Hello."

"Hey Shawn. Good to have you back," Jake said.

"Believe me, it is great to be home," I replied.

"How was Florida?"

"It was great man. Dad and mom rented a houseboat."

"A houseboat! That sounds awesome."

"It was. Terri and I went snorkeling almost every day. The water was so clear. Not like the lakes around here. We could see almost 50 feet down in places. It was incredible."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

Jake hesitated a bit before saying, "Uh, Shawn?"

"What?" I asked.

"I was wondering if I could see Erin? I mean umm. Could she come out for a while?"

"I think that could be arranged. That is, if you're sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. I . . .umm . . . missed you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I would really like to see you."

"Okay. Where do you want to meet?"

"How about I come by in about 20 minutes?"

"Make it 60 and you've got a deal."

"Sixty minutes it is. See you then, Erin."

I went and found Terri in her room and asked her to help me get ready to meet Jake. I wanted to look good, but I didn't know what I should wear. For a minute or two Terri just looked at me and listened to my panicked words. After I was finished I looked at her and wondered why she wasn't helping.

"What are you sitting there for Terri? I need your help."

Then Terri broke out in laughter and rolled onto her back holding her stomach.

I stood there amazed at her reaction and then realized why she was laughing so hard. I was acting just like a girl going out on a date. There was the panic about what I was going to wear and the excitement that goes along with it. What other changes were going on inside of me? Could it get any worse?

When Terri calmed down she walked into her closet and pulled out some clothes for me to wear. "This should do for your first date with your 'boyfriend.'"

The first thing she had me put on were a pair of denim shorts. The fit wasn't perfect, but it was tight enough to show off my butt. Then I pulled on a white, button down blouse that couldn't help, but show off my breasts. In fact, the buttons strained to contain them.

"Man, Erin if you get any bigger up top you'll be popping more than your buttons."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. You'll figure it out," she said tossing me a pair of white sneakers.

Once I was dressed she helped me put on some lipstick and eye shadow. Nothing very heavy since it was pretty warm outside.

By the time Jake drove up, I was ready, but Terri told me to stay in my room until he was inside. Then she would call me so I could make my entrance. I asked her why I had to do that.

She said, "Because it will be more fun this way." I shook my head and bowed to her experience.

A few minutes later Terri called from downstairs, "Hey Erin. Jake's here."

"Coming," I shouted. I took one last check in the mirror and began the long walk down to meet Jake. Actually, the walk didn't take any longer than usual it just seemed longer. You know what I mean. Like one of those slow motion sequences you see in movies sometimes.

As I took the first few steps down the stairs, I caught Jake looking at me. His mouth was wide open and not saying a word. Terri, who was standing to his right, looked up at me and winked. I smiled back at the two of them as I took the last step.

When I reached Jake I almost gave him a kiss, but thought better of it, and smiled up at him instead. For a moment he said nothing. He just stared at me with a blank look on his face.

"Jake?" I waved my hand in front of his face, letting my perfume drift towards him. "Earth to Jake," I said. "Come on dude. We're burning daylight."

His eyes closed briefly. When he opened them, I could tell he was back in our reality. "Uh. Sorry Erin. I just wasn't prepared for seeing you like this."

"Like what?" I asked looking up at him.

"Let's just say you look gorgeous and leave it at that. Okay?"

I looked over at Terri who had the biggest grin on her face. "Okay for now," I replied.

As Jake opened the door, mom walked by and asked, "Just a minute young lady. I want you back by 6 for dinner okay? By the way, where are you two going?"

"Just over to Woodruff Park for a walk, Mrs. Jensen," Jake said.

"Okay then. Have fun, but be back for dinner."

"We will," I replied.

Jake opened the door and off we went.

We didn't say much on the way over to the park, but I could see the gears turning in Jake's head. I also noticed an increased presence in his groin, which made me smile.

As we continued walking I noticed that every so often his hand would brush up against my own. I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but decided to test that idea by reaching out and taking his hand in mine. I was pleasantly surprised when his hand willingly accepted my own. I looked up at him and smiled. So many thoughts ran through my head that I couldn't grab any one of them long enough to make sense out of them. I was happy though and that was enough for me. I knew that by the sense of peace I felt walking with Jake.

We walked through the park along a concrete pathway and enjoyed the various views we encountered. There was a little creek that ran through the park, which offered a few places to sit on rocks so we could dip our feet into the cool water.

Later, we found a picnic table surrounded by trees that offered shade from the afternoon sun. Jake pulled out his camelback water bottle and offered me a drink. I took a few sips and then handed it back to Jake. After he took a swig or two, he capped the bottle and set it down on the table. "What a beautiful day," Jake said leaning back against the table.

"Yeah." I sat on the tabletop and looked down at him. I leaned back on my hands letting my breasts stick out. I looked over towards the trees and watched a squirrel munching on a nut. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jake looking at me, or more to the point, at my chest. I looked at him and smiled. "Do you like what you see?"

"Yes."

"They are beautiful, aren't they?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Is that all you can say, Jake?" I asked leaning forward and resting my arms on my knees.

"No," Jake replied and smiled.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What would you like to do now?" I asked him.

"I suppose we could continue our walk. That is if you are up to it."

"I was hoping for a different answer."

"Oh, what do you have in mind?"

I got up from my seat and turned to face him. I looked at him and put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself. I put my feet through the opening of the table so that I ended up straddling him. I shifted position to get comfortable and then said, "Does this give you any ideas, Jake?"

"A few."

"Yes, I can feel you getting harder already," I said smiling.

"I would have to be dead not to respond to you Erin. You are drop dead gorgeous."

"Thank you."

Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and stuck his thumbs through the belt loops of my denim shorts. "Can I ask you a question, Erin?"

"Sure."

"Is it my imagination or are you still growing?" Jake asked flicking his eyes to my chest.

"Yeah they are a little bigger than when we left, but I have to admit I don't mind so much anymore. Terri says I am a 36 C."

"Oh, but why don't you mind anymore?"

"Well, let's just say I have learned to appreciate them for what they are and, more importantly, how they feel."

"Oh?"

"How about I show you," I replied then took his hand and placed it on my right breast. "Now give it a squeeze."

"What?"

"Go ahead and squeeze it, Jake. I know you know how to do that. You practiced on Amber, one of his former girlfriends, enough from what you told me."

"Yeah, but this is different."

"Why?"

"Why? Maybe because you're a guy."

"True, but I can tell you these babies are primed and ready to go."

"And you know this how," Jake asked?

"You're kidding right? I'm a 16, almost 17 year old, hormonally charged guy with a set of awesome looking breasts. What else do you think I was going to do during my vacation?"

"Good point."

Jake looked down at his left hand, which still lay on my breast and gave it a squeeze. "They are amazing. Just like the real things."

"They are the real things." I gave him a smirk before adding, "Now keep going please."

Jake continued his massage.

The sensation did not come immediately, but as Jake continued to rub my breast I felt the nipples begin to harden. It felt wonderful.

"Wow! This is a trip," Jake said.

"You're telling me," I replied tilting my head back as a wave of ecstasy bloomed within me.

Jake added his right hand and used it on my left breast. I held on to his neck to help keep up the pressure on them.

I brought my head down and looked into his eyes. My mouth opened slightly as I let out a soft moan. "For crying out loud."

"You like this don't you?"

"You have no idea."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No freakin' way."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved my face closer to his. My breath flowed from my mouth to his. His mouth opened as if given some secret password. I let my mouth linger near his own letting my tongue flick out to touch his lips. Jake struck with the speed of a rattlesnake and the gentleness of a feather as we kissed.

We sat there necking for almost a half hour before I got up. Jake told me that his legs had fallen asleep. I helped by rubbing his thighs to get the circulation going, among other things. When no one was looking at us I pressed my hand against him to feel his hardness. This caused Jake to gasp in his own pleasure. I don't know why, but I wanted to make him feel good. Why did I want to please him though? Was it because he was my friend? Or was it something deeper that I wasn't sure I wanted to name? I liked him. We had been friends for a long time, almost 10 years now in fact, but this feeling inside me was different. I didn't know if he felt the same about me. I was sure that he lusted after me. That was pretty obvious based on our encounters, but did he feel anything more than that? How would I even find out? Should I just ask him or should I wait for him to say it? Should I wait until I was sure? That seemed to be the best plan for now.

"Are your legs feeling better?"

"I don't know. Let me see if I can put weight on them yet." Jake braced himself on the table and tried to get to his feet. He shook his legs, his left first and then his right, and found that he could stand up once again. He sat down once again so that his legs straddled the table bench. I swiveled around so that we faced one another and took hold of his hands.

"So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"About me? About what we just did? I can tell you like it and all, but I don't know how you feel about it."

"That's hard to say Erin. On the one hand, I know you're Shawn. We've shared a lot of adventures together. We've gone fishing with our dads, gone to baseball games, and played soccer together. Then again, you are Erin, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I love being with you. I think you know that by now."

"Uh huh."

"This is definitely different and, yes, I do like it. You are beautiful and you kiss great. Your breasts are awesome and I love touching them, but I am really confused."

"It's the being a guy and looking like a girl thing isn't it?"

"Yup."

"It freaks me out too, Jake. Or at least it used to. Now, I'm not so sure. I mean I know I am a guy and all, but having these breasts is changing me in ways I didn't expect."

"What do you mean?" Jake asked.

"First, the sensations are so intense. I loved the feelings that poured through me when you were rubbing my breasts. It was like masturbating several times in a row. The thing is I like it so much that I think I'm getting addicted to it. I think about doing it night and day. The only thing that stops me is remembering where I am."

"It must be good."

"Yeah. For example, I wouldn't do this," I grabbed my breasts again and squeezed, "if my parents were around."

"That wouldn't be very cool."

"No it wouldn't. And besides Terri showed me something that made me appreciate them even more."

"What was that?"

"Let's just say that she has some toys that make having these babies one of the best things to ever happen to me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. That's why I don't mind them so much anymore. During our trip, I had lots of time to think about it and I came to accept them as a gift, not a curse. It's like I said, they are a boy's dream come true. I mean here I am with this great equipment and all I have to do is reach up and squeeze them any time I want." I took my breasts in both hands and squeezed them. "The only thing that would make it better is to have a pussy. Then we could really have some fun."

"That would be cool, but do you know how weird that sounds coming from you?" Jake replied.

"Yeah. I do." I moved a little closer to him and gave him a quick kiss.

"The other thing that is good about them is the power that comes with them."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's really wild how easy it is to distract guys just by waving this rack in front of them. Even you respond to it."

"It would be hard not to," Jake said scratching his head.

"Exactly! It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull. You wave these in front of a guy and they come a runnin'. I saw it happen several times on our vacation. Don't worry though Jake, nothing happened and I won't use them against you. Unless you want me to that is."

"And why would I want that?"

"Well, it could be kind of fun if you get my drift," I added.

"I suppose."

To emphasize the point I moved closer to Jake and put my face, and more importantly my breasts in front of his face. As I did so, I felt him tense up and get rigid down below. "See what I mean?"

"Yeah."

I leaned in close enough so he could feel my breath on his face. I stayed there to let the sexual tension build between us. "Are you telling me you wouldn't like this?" I brushed my lips against his and let my breasts touch his chest. I wrapped my arms around him again and put my legs over his so that I was sitting as close as possible to him. I looked down at his groin and saw that he was responding to me. Just as I expected he would. "Isn't this fun, Jake?"

"Uhh. Yeah," he replied gasping.

"Can you see the advantages of having a friend like me?" I gently nibbled on his ear.

His mouth opened to mine and the kiss answered any and all questions I had. It was a wonderful kiss. It was slow, deep, and filled with passion. There was no doubt that Jake, my friend, wanted me. In that moment I also knew that I wanted him. He was more than a friend to me now and, as such, I offered him my heart, body, and soul.

Finally, we got up and headed back home. This time though Jake put his arm around my waist and held me close as we walked back. As we neared my street, I pulled Jake up short and gave him another kiss.

"What was that for? Not that I mind or anything, just wondering."

"Just to thank you for a great walk and to let you know how much I care about you."

"I know Erin," he replied and then added, "You're simply irresistible. You know that, don't you?"

"As long as I'm irresistible to you. That is all I want." I kissed him again, "We better get back though or my parents will ground me for a week and we wouldn't want that now would we?"

After Jake left I headed up to my room where Terri was waiting.

"Okay sis. How did it go?"

I sat down next to her and replied, "It was great. Jake and I had a great time catching up."

"Anything else?" Terri lay down next to me on her side with her head propped up by her arm.

"Well, I also learned how much he missed me."

"How's that?"

"It was in his kiss."

"Oh really?"

"I think Jake's lips were made for kissing. They're so soft and fleshy. I just love that."

"Yeah, I like them that way too."

"Terri?"

"What?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"You know when this gynecomastia first happened how I thought it was the end of my world?"

"Yeah."

"I really hated the idea of having breasts and all. I mean here I am, almost 17 years old, and my doctor tells me I'm going to have breasts. As if the rest of being a teenaged boy isn't bad enough. Not only do I have to try and find your place in this world, but have to deal with this huge monkey wrench thrown at me too. Can you understand what I am saying?"

"I think so."

"Well I've changed my mind about them," I said.

"How?"

"First, they feel great." I reached up and took one in each hand. "They're so round and firm. I love their softness too. It's still weird to see them here on my chest, but I am adapting."

"Stop that Erin. You're getting me all hot."

"Really? You like seeing me do this?"

"You're kidding right? Anyone would have a hard time watching you do that without getting all sorts of ideas."

"Oh." My hands moved to my lap before I continued, "The other thing is that I love the feelings they give me. They are so sensitive to touch."

"What you really mean is that they are just the thing for a hot blooded, teenaged boy with his hormones raging."

"Yeah. I can't get enough of them."

"Just be careful, Erin. You know what they say about having too much of a good thing."

I smiled and looked over at her and asked, "Hey Terri?"

"Yes."

"Could I uh . . . borrow one of your toys?"

"Which one, as if I didn't know?"

"The mink glove."

"I thought so. Sure, I'll be right back." Terri got up from the bed and headed off to her room. She returned a short time later and handed the black bag to me. I looked inside, made sure it was there, and then put it under my pillow for later.

"Thanks Terri. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome and, while I'd love to hear more of your time with Jake, we'd better get downstairs for dinner."

"Yeah. You're right. Let's go."

Dinner was peaceful enough and that was good because I didn't really feel like answering any of their questions right now. Besides school was starting in a few weeks and there were more important things to talk about over dinner than Jake. We did talk about going shopping for clothes and school supplies, but that was about it. Dad mentioned having to go on a trip in a few weeks for the company, but that it was only for a few weeks. Mom was itching to get back to work. Terri was looking forward to heading back to college.

I headed to my room around 9pm and decided to check my email before turning in. I scanned the list of new emails and found one from Mark and another from Jake.

I opened Mark's first.

Erin,

 

Just wanted to write and tell you that I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I know you probably have tons of boys trying to beat down your door, but I hope there is room enough in the line for me. I am not the greatest at this relationship stuff since I have been so focused on my education, but you have your hooks in me. For that I am thankful for having them there makes me feel happy.

My parents say that they have never seen me this way, but like what they see. Personally, I know it is because of you.

Anyway, I will sign off now, but I really hope I will hear from you soon. I really want to stay in touch with you.

Write soon.

Mark

'Wow!' I thought to myself. Mark really liked me. I thought it would be just a one-time thing. However, it appears that he is taking things differently than I meant. What do I do now? I made a note to myself to talk to Terri about this in the morning and went on to read Jake's email.

Erin,

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and our walk in the park today.

I hope we can do that, and more, again soon.

Jake

'Good night.' Now I have two boys pursuing me. What is a girl to do? I turned off the computer and climbed into bed.

I retrieved the mink glove from under my pillow and slipped it onto my right hand. I began moving the glove over my breasts in slow circular motions. The softness of the glove caused such intense reactions in me that I had to bite down on my t-shirt. It did not take long for my body to get to the point where it shook uncontrollably. My penis was rock hard and throbbing madly. I backed off a bit to enjoy the rush.

When I had come down enough, I began to work the glove around my breasts again and pushed myself over the edge. I let out a whispered cry as release came in one last powerful rush.

Sleep came around 11pm according to the clock on my bed table. A knowing smile remained on my face as sleep claimed me for the night.

 

Chapter 11

Mom and I spent the Saturday shopping for clothes for school and I had a blast. I know it sounds weird, but I really did have fun. I don't know whether it was all the guys drooling over me or getting all the neat clothes. Whatever it was I enjoyed it. Mom had fun too since she picked up a few things for herself including one camisole that dad was sure to flip over. After the trip to the mall, I ended up with several dresses, blouses, and shoes. Mom also insisted on getting me some jewelry to help accessorize. Finally, we picked up some things to fill out my own makeup kit so I didn't have to borrow Terri's stuff anymore.

I picked up some more jeans and t-shirts for casual wear too. All in all it was a pretty good haul.

When we got home, I put everything away and relaxed on my bed for a while. It was a quiet day and that was good for some thinking time on my part. My mind drifted back to my time with Jake the other day. I remembered the touch of his lips on mine and his hands on my breasts. I found myself wishing he were here to do that again.

"Shawn!" I heard mom's voice shout from downstairs.

"Yeah mom?"

"Time for supper."

"I'll be right there. Just have to wash my hands."

I bolted for the bathroom, washed up, made sure I was presentable, and then headed downstairs.

Later, after dinner, I was listening to some Pink Floyd from Dark Side of the Moon, one of my all time favorite albums. However, just as 'Money' started mom came into my room. When I saw her I took my headphones off and said, "Hey mom. What's up?"

"Shawn, I think we need to have a talk."

"About what?"

"Those," Mom said looking down at my breasts.

"What about them?"

"Well," she said as she sat down next to me, "I need to ask you something rather personal."

"Okay."

"Have you been, um, experimenting with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"At dinner, I noticed that your nipples were erect and thought you might have been giving yourself pleasure." She put her arm around me and continued, "So have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Been touching yourself."

I felt my face burst into flame as I looked down to the floor of my bedroom.

Mom's arms went around my shoulders and pulled me to her. "Shawn, it's okay. I understand that a boy your age has certain drives. It's normal for you to experiment. What is not normal is the situation you have been put into with your condition. You must be careful. The feelings you are experiencing can be overwhelming and you may not be able to handle them."

"Is it because I'm a boy?" I asked.

"Mostly, after all you weren't born with them, at least not in their current form. You need to take it slow and easy. If you have been trying them out then you know how powerful they can be."

"Yeah."

"Look, all I'm saying is that you should take care of them and remember how sensitive they are. For as long as you have them anyway."

"Yeah. Okay, mom." As mom headed towards the door I looked up at her and said, "Hey, mom?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Um. Do you think I'm strange for dressing like a girl?"

Mom thought for a while before replying, "Shawn, I admit that this whole thing has thrown your father and I for a major loop, but we are your parents and, as such, we are here for you. That's not to say we won't put some boundaries up for you in case we see you heading for a cliff, but no I don't think you are weird."

"That's fair and thanks."

"I want you to know that your father and I love you. Not only because we are your parents, but because of who you are. Yes, you are our son, but we are also coming to think of you as our daughter, Erin. We don't understand why all of this is happening, but we are proud of how you are handling everything. You have adapted to this situation incredibly well, and with each day you make more progress. As for your dressing as a girl, I think you are doing quite well."

"Thanks to you and Terri?"

"True, we gave you a good start, but you are picking things up daily and your sister and I don't have to ride herd on you so much anymore. That's not to say you don't have more to learn, just that you have made good progress."

My head went into my hands.

She came closer and put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Shawn, is everything else okay?"

"Mostly."

"Oh?" She asked. "Does this have anything to do with Jake?"

"Yes." I looked over at her and added, "It's just that I feel weird when I'm around him."

"Why?"

"Come on mom. He and I have been friends for a long time now and this whole situation with me has thrown a huge monkey wrench at us."

"What do you mean?"

"For one thing he treats me differently."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Because he sees me as a girl."

"Hmmm." Mom looked at me for a moment and then smiled, "Can you blame him Shawn? I mean, no offense, but you are stunning."

"Whose side are you on here mom?"

"Yours, of course," Mom replied and added, "However, you have to face the facts, Shawn. You're gorgeous. The sooner you accept that the better off you will be."

"I'm not a woman though mom. I'm not even female!" I exclaimed.

Her arm went around my shoulders, "You and I know that, but everyone else sees you as a beautiful young woman. In fact, I would be very surprised if they could see you as anything else."

"But how do I deal with Jake? I'm really confused about my feelings for him."

"What feelings?"

"Well, before these came into my life he was just my friend."

"Yes."

"But now, I have begun to look at him differently."

"Oh? How so?"

"It's like my body craves him. I mean when I am not with him I feel like I'm missing some part of me. When I am with him, I feel complete somehow."

"Are you telling me that you love him?"

"I don't know about that mom, but I do like him . . . differently."

"Tell me more."

"Well, I'm not sure I should tell you this mom, but you should know."

"Know what?"

"Mom, Jake and I have kissed."

Her eyes widened and I felt her hand on my shoulder tighten its grip slightly. "Shawn, I think you better tell me the whole story."

I took a deep breath and told her the story of when Jake saw me before our going on vacation and how Jake and I kissed. Then I told her about Mark and I on the boat. When I was done, she didn't say a word for the longest time.

"Shawn, I don't know what to say," she said. "Who else knows about this?"

"Just Terri, and Jake, of course," I replied.

"Okay, but we need to bring your father in on this before he finds out from anyone else."

"Mom, do we have to?"

"I'm afraid so Erin."

"But why?"

"Because he is your father and I think he and I need to have a talk with you before things go much further."

"Okay. I guess," I said dejectedly.

"Don't worry Erin. It will be okay, and besides I think your father and I would both feel better with Jake being your 'boyfriend' than someone else."

"Thanks mom."

"Sure." Mom stood to leave, "You'll make it Shawn. Remember, you're not alone. Now get some rest."

I looked up at her and replied, "Good night, mom." After she closed the door, I slipped under the covers and drifted off to sleep. Images floated through my dreams and were, for the most part, pleasant, even though they were a bit disturbing in places. What do I mean by that? Well, first of all, they were very sexual. One of them caused me to wake up during the night because it was so intense. One time I even thought I must have woken up the whole house since I let out a pretty loud gasp. Fortunately, mom and dad slept downstairs. Terri, being the sound sleeper that she was, didn't show up either. Whew, I thought to myself.

I grabbed a towel to dry myself off, changed my sheets, and climbed back into bed. It was only then that I realized that my breasts were so hard they ached. I tried waiting for a while to see if they would subside, but they didn't.

Next, I went into the bathroom and got a cool wet cloth and placed it on the right breast first to see if it would help. Fortunately, it did. Once the right breast felt better I placed the cloth on my left breast and waited for it to return to normal.

When sleep came, it was welcomed with open arms.

 

Chapter 12

As the weekend arrived I was up in my room browsing the latest teen fashion magazine I bought when mom and dad entered my room. I knew what they wanted to talk about, but wasn't sure how it would end. I braced myself as they closed the door behind them.

I was dressed simply in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I put down the magazine I was reading and prepared myself for 'the talk.'

"Erin, we need to talk with you about your relationship with Jake," dad said.

"Okay, dad."

"Your mother tells me that you and Jake are getting 'closer' these days. Is that true?"

"Yes," I replied softly.

"Hmm, and how close are you getting, Erin?"

"Well, we haven't had sex or anything dad. We've just held hands and kissed. That's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, dad. I'm sure."

"That's something anyway." Dad leaned against my computer desk and allowed mom her turn.

"Erin, we just want to make sure you two aren't doing anything that would get you into trouble. You're both teenagers and your father and I understand that you two are at a critical stage in your life. We just want you to be safe."

"I know mom. I really do, but you don't have to worry. Jake has been absolutely great. You both know how protective he has been of me. Besides, I am just trying to adapt to this whole crazy situation. You both have encouraged me to act the part of a girl and so that's what I'm trying to do."

"We just hoped you wouldn't take things so far," dad said.

"I know dad. It's pretty weird isn't it?"

"You've got that right," mom asked.

"I mean my thoughts and feelings aren't in line with what I know about myself. Before I got these breasts, I used to think like a normal 16-year- old boy. Now I am a 16-year-old boy trying to think, and live, like a 16- year-old girl. It's enough to drive anyone crazy mom."

"He has a point Sarah," dad said.

"True, and at least we are talking about Jake and not some boy we don't know much about. If Erin has to have a 'boyfriend,' Jake is the best possible choice. We know him and the fact that he and Erin have been friends for so long is a plus," mom said.

"And it's not like Erin can get pregnant."

Dad and mom looked at one another for a minute and then mom said, "Okay, Erin. For now, we are going to let this go, but we want you to promise that you two will be careful when you go out together. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Erin. We only want the best for you."

"I know dad. You and mom have been great to me and I appreciate all that you two have done. I would not have been able to get through all this without you. We will be careful though. I promise."

"Good," mom said. With that dad and mom left my room. I went over to my computer and flipped it on to check my email. Sure enough I had one from Mark. My heart quickened as I double clicked on the message.

Erin,

Thanks for writing back. It was really good to hear from you. Not much has been happening here in the Keys, at least not enough to speak of. Now that hurricane season is over we can relax a bit and enjoy the relative peace and quiet.

How about you? What is happening over there in Texas? Do you get tornadoes where you are? Have you seen any?

Need to book. Will write more later.

Mark

Not knowing what to write back I checked the rest of the email. I had one that claimed to need my help to get some money out of Nigeria. Another talked about a product to increase my breast size. Like I really needed any help in that department. I laughed and deleted the item.

As I turned off the computer I began to form a reply to Mark for my next online time.

 

Chapter 13

The big day had arrived and I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, as the saying goes. Mom and Terri had to help me get dressed because I just couldn't keep my hands from shaking.

"Mom, I don't think I can do this," I said, my voice betraying my state.

"Nonsense, Erin, you'll have to face school sooner or later."

"I know. I was just hoping it could be later."

"Besides the sooner you get this over with the sooner everyone else will. Oh sure there will be some who won't accept you, but there will always be such jerks in your life Erin," Terri added.

"I suppose."

Mom and Terri finished their work on me and examined my appearance. I had no words to describe how beautiful I looked. My hair, which had grown out to hang just over my ears, was wild looking and looked great. My makeup was done to perfection and really brought out the color of my eyes. Terri picked my clothes, which consisted of a pair of jeans and a white cotton blouse with lace trim. I looked at my recently applied acrylic fingernails that now graced my fingers and loved the deep blood red color. In short, I was a babe.

I loved how I looked, but also knew that there would be many at school that would not understand. However, mom was right, I was going to have to just suck it up and get it over with.

I knew that I would not be alone because Jake would be with me, but we both realized that he wouldn't be able to watch over me every second of every day.

Finally, I headed outside and smiled as I saw Jake waiting for me at the end of our driveway. I walked up to him and said, "Hi handsome."

"Hi yourself, beautiful."

I turned to wave at mom and Terri, who were standing in the doorway. They waved back and watched Jake and I head off.

When we got out of the neighborhood I pulled Jake down a small alley way and asked Jake, "Jake, would you mind holding me for a minute?"

"Not at all. What's the matter?"

"I'm really nervous and I just need you to hold me. Is that okay?"

"Not a problem, Erin."

I melted into his arms and rested there for a moment. I listened to the beat of his heart and felt some calm return to my frazzled soul.

We broke after a few minutes and continued on our way making small talk about classes and such.

As we neared campus, we started running into people we knew, as I expected. The first few people recognized Jake right off of course, but had not clue who I was until they got closer. One such person was Michael Kelly. Michael was a decent enough guy from all that I knew and hadn't done anything to me in the past. He was tall at 6'; average looking, with short black hair and deep brown eyes that could burn through steel, or so it seemed.

Jake moved in close to me for support as Michael approached.

"Hi, Jake." He said.

"Hi, Michael. How's it hangin'?" Jake asked casually.

"Not bad. Just heading over to homeroom."

"Yeah. You can sure tell summer is over now, can't ya?" Jake added.

"No doubt." Michael turned his attention to me and then to Jake. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh sorry, Michael, this is Erin. Erin, this is Michael."

Michael reached out his hand towards me and I tentatively accepted the greeting. I tried to be firm in my grip, but as soon as I took hold of his hand I saw recognition in his eyes, and he withdrew his hand as if a snake had just bitten him. "Holy crap! No way! You're Shawn. Shawn Jensen. Aren't you?"

I didn't know what to say. Jake stepped in quickly and told Michael, "Michael, please keep your voice down. This is hard enough on him as it is."

"But, he's dressed as a girl."

"We know," Jake added.

"He looks so . . . so beautiful," Michael stuttered out.

"I know Michael," Jake responded.

"But why are you letting yourself be seen with him? Don't you think this will hurt your rep?"

"I'm with him because he's my friend. That's enough for me. My rep won't mean squat if I can't be a good friend. After all a man, young or old, is not what he does, but who he is as a person. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Michael replied.

I looked up at Jake and my heart melted at his words. I wanted to grab him and smother him with kisses right then and there, but held off so as not to make the situation any worse.

Jake gave a short explanation of what happened to me and then waited. "I can respect that Jake, but you know as well as I do there are some who won't cotton to this. Not one bit."

"Yeah, we know, but where do you stand? Are you going to be friend or foe, Michael?"

Michael thought for a minute and then replied, "It doesn't make any difference to me really. I mean from what little you've told me he had no say in it and is just trying to make the best of the situation." He looked at me then back to Jake. "Is that about it?"

"Yes."

"Then you won't get any grief from me."

"Thank you Michael," I said softly. "I appreciate that."

"You're welcome. Listen I have to book, but I'll see you two later," Michael said as he headed off to his first period.

Jake and I made our way to our first period and sat next to one another. I was trembling in my seat as everyone looked at me trying to figure out who I was and why I was sitting with Jake, one of the hottest guys in the class. I wanted to run as far away as possible, but kept telling myself I had to face this. I had to.

The teacher, Mr. Rockman, began to read off the role. My heart began to race. I looked straight ahead and prayed for divine intervention.

"Bowman, David".

"Here."

Mr. Rockman continued and read off more names. 'Please, God, let this be okay. Don't let them laugh at me. Please. Please,' I prayed.

"Harrison, Jennifer."

I looked over at Jake as the teacher read on. Jake looked over at me and mouthed that it was going to be okay. I tried to believe him, but the panic within me was at a full boil now.

"Jensen, Shawn."

The moment of truth had come. Actually, I didn't even hear my name at first, but when he read it off louder the second time I responded the best I could, "Here." My voice trembled as I spoke.

The rest of the class looked at me for what seemed like hours. My face erupted in fire and I wished Mr. Rockman would move on to the next person so I could get out of the spotlight. I couldn't look at anyone. I just kept looking down at the desktop in front of me, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me.

Mr. Rockman finally began to read down the list, but not before the whispering began. I could only imagine what people were saying. It was obviously about me. The reactions, from what I could tell, ranged from disgust to lust and back again. Some of the girls, so Jake told me later, seemed jealous of my new assets while others looked down their elitist noses at me. Still others just smiled at me as if my condition was some kind of cosmic justice.

When class was over, Jake put his hand on my shoulder and helped me to my next class, Geometry. Jake had Earth Science so we would be apart for the next hour.

"Jake, can't you stay with me?"

"You know that I would if I could Erin, but it just didn't work out this time. I'll meet you right here after class though. Okay?"

"Okay." I walked into the class and suffered the stares I was being given by those few who had been in my homeroom. I found a seat near the door in case I needed to make a quick getaway and set my things down. I looked around the classroom to see if any of my other 'friends' were around. The only friendly face I recognized was Tim Morrison and he was sitting near the back of the room. When our eyes met he flashed the barest hint of a smile before turning his attention to the teacher as she entered the room.

I was still a bundle of nerves from the previous class, but did my best to focus on the blackboard and what the teacher was writing. The hour passed so slowly and it seemed like the eyes of everyone were on me the whole time. When the bell rang, I bolted for the door to wait for Jake. However, he wasn't there and so I waited there while everyone else filed past me. I didn't make eye contact with any of them, but I could tell they were looking at me.

One guy, I didn't recognize his voice, said, "Hey Shawn. Are you doing anything Saturday night?" My face burned with embarrassment. I desperately wanted to hide.

I could tell from the tone of his voice that he wasn't really serious. I did my best to put the thought out of my mind. There was only one guy on my mind right now.

My eyes were focused on the linoleum floor when a pair of jeans clad legs stopped in front of me. Hesitantly, I looked up and saw that it was Tim.

"Hi, Shawn."

"Hi, Tim," I replied quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really."

"I can see. You look like you're about to come apart at the seams."

"You've got that right."

An uncomfortable moment of silence passed.

"Who you waiting for?"

"Jake."

"Hmm. I see." Another moment passed quietly. "Would you like some company?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On if you're still my friend or not."

Tim thought for a moment and then answered, "Yeah, I'm still your friend. You've stuck by me enough times through some of the crap I've been through. The least I can do is support you now. That is if it's okay with you?"

I looked into his eyes just as another guy bumped into him. Tim noted the face and shot a look at him before turning back to me.

"Yes, Tim. I would like that. Thank you."

A few more of my classmates passed me. Some let out a mocking wolf whistle while others made remarks about my new assets. They weren't kind.

Tim's presence helped me feel better, but the words and actions of my classmates continued to sting. Each word they spoke put another dent into my already fragile psyche.

When Jake arrived I looked at him pleadingly and said, "Jake, where have you been? I've been waiting here forever."

"Sorry Erin. The teacher went overtime and I couldn't get out right away." Jake and Tim looked at one another and nodded. Tim saw that I was going to be okay and headed off to his next class.

As he turned to leave I said, "Thanks for staying with me Tim."

"No problem Erin."

I took a breath and realized how happy I was to see Jake. "I'm sorry Jake. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's okay."

His hand brushed against my own causing a shiver to run up my spine. I moved a hair closer to him and smiled. I felt safe once more now that Jake was here.

The rest of the day was just as tough as the first couple of hours had been. I met up with a few more of my friends. Sadly, some rejected me, even though they knew this wasn't my fault. Others confirmed my trust in them, and told me they would stick by me.

After my third period class I headed for the lunchroom where I found an empty table. I set my tray down and got comfortable. The lunchroom was, like most such places, simple and functional. There were three rows of six tables each and a serving line at one end where we queued up for our food. One wall, near the entry, had a couple of bulletin boards where students and teachers could place announcements. There were a few windows that made eating a bit more pleasant, but not much more than that.

As more students entered the room I felt their eyes burn into the back of my neck. My face burst into flame. I turned my focus to my lunch.

"May I join you?"

I looked up to find Heather, Jake's sister, standing across from me. "Uh. Sure."

Heather set her tray on the table and sat down. Heather, I should say, is a knockout and one of the most emotionally stable people her age that I know. She is one year younger than Jake and I and very nice to boot. Heather has long, straight, jet-black hair that shines when the light hits it. I will admit that I thought about asking her out at one point, but knew that that would never happen now. Not as long as I looked like this anyway. At best we could go out as friends, but that would be it.

"So how are you holding up Shawn?"

"Okay, I guess, but you might as well call me Erin for now."

"Uh, Okay." Heather looked at me for a moment and added, "Sorry for staring, Erin. It's just that I never thought you would look so good dressed as a woman. I mean I knew you were a pretty boy and all, but you put a whole new meaning to that term."

"Thanks, I think."

"No, I do mean it as a compliment Sh. . . I mean Erin. You are really beautiful. I can see why Jake has a hard time thinking about anyone else."

"So you don't mind that Jake and I are pretending to be a couple?"

"I didn't say that, but I haven't seen him happier than he has been these past couple of weeks, and I know you have a great deal to do with that change. So, if you make my brother happy then it's okay with me."

"Thanks Heather. I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot."

"So what is it like for you? Having such beautiful breasts must be a trip."

"Initially I hated them. I mean, last year was hard enough for me and when I found out that I was going to have breasts I freaked. It was like being thrown from the proverbial frying pan into the fire. Honestly, if it hadn't been for my family and your brother the men in the white coats would have carried me away already. However, I have adapted to them and am learning to appreciate them in other ways."

"Yeah, I can imagine a little of what you're going through. When my breasts started to develop guys started noticing me and treating me different."

"No doubt, but you at least have been prepared for some changes to occur when you grew up. This hit me from so far out in left field I had no clue it was coming until it was too late."

"Well, at least you look good. You could have been one of those 300- pound linebackers on the football team and had really huge breasts. Now that would be gross." Heather giggled.

"True, this could have been worse, but not by much." I smiled and took a bite of my sandwich.

"So what have you and Jake been up to?"

"Not much. Jake has been a real lifesaver though. He has kept me grounded through this change. If it hadn't been for him I don't think I would be here."

"And nothing more than that?"

"Not a whole lot more than that. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing in particular. It's just that Jake seems more protective of you than normal."

"Oh. Uh. I guess you'll have to ask him why. He does make me feel safer though."

"Yeah, he can have that effect. Being as big and as strong as he is he can be pretty intimidating."

"You've got that right."

"So do you like having breasts?"

"I suppose they have their pros and cons."

"You must have found some benefit to them."

"One or two."

"I thought so," I said feeling my embarrassment rise.

"Huh?"

"It just seems natural that a healthy teenaged boy, such as yourself, would have experimented with them and found out what we girls already know. Breasts are great."

"Actually, I have been more of a leg man myself, but I do appreciate breasts too."

"I'll bet you've done more than appreciate them. Haven't you?"

My face started to feel hot again as I dipped my head.

"Sorry, Erin. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I was just curious." Heather finished her milk. "Look, I'm not going to tell anyone what we've talked about here. You can trust me on that. I just wanted you to know that I was on your side."

"Thanks Heather. I really needed to hear that."

When lunch was over Heather walked with me to my next class before heading on to her own.

When I heard the final bell, I couldn't wait to get home. I met Jake in front of the main building and we headed home. Some of the kids we passed on the way laughed or pointed their fingers at me, but Jake, my savior, just gave them an icy stare and that made them go away. When we got back to my house, I invited Jake in. He accepted and we went up to my room.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I flew into Jake's arms and kissed him soundly.

When we broke I said, "I have been wanting to do that all day."

"Me too," Jake replied. After a minute he added, "What are you shaking for?"

"Man, can you blame me? I've been petrified with fear all day long. It's taken all I have to keep from running for the door screaming at the top of my lungs. People have been staring at me and saying some pretty nasty things. If it hadn't been for you, Heather, and a few others, I would have been banging my head against a brick wall by now." I gave him a squeeze and snuggled up against him.

"So, I'm kind of like your knight in shining armor, huh?"

"Mmm. I like the sound of that." I took his face in my hands and kissed him again. After all it is only right for a knight to be rewarded for his services. "I am most grateful brave knight."

"Milady is most welcome. Will you be requiring my services tomorrow?"

"And everyday thereafter too," I replied.

"I will be here in the morning, bright and early." Jake checked the clock on my side table and then added, "Hey, I need to book Erin."

I pouted and then said, "Are you sure I can't persuade you to stay for a bit longer?" I nuzzled his neck and kissed him lightly there.

"Ahh. You know you have me wrapped around your little finger Erin and I would do almost anything for you." Jake took my hands in his, brought them to his lips, and kissed them gently. "But my mom is expecting me home soon and she trumps my lust for you with her cooking. Plus she's bigger than you."

"Not everywhere," I said looking down at my chest and smiling. I knew Mrs. Clark, as nice as she was, wasn't very big up top.

"Be nice, Erin."

"Sorry. Forgive me?"

"No, but I love you anyway."

Jake took me once more into his arms and joined his lips to mine. I moaned softly and flowed into him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I walked Jake to the door and gave him one more kiss before closing the door behind him.

I went to my room and changed into a pair of gym shorts and a tank top. I tried to relax with some music, but couldn't get my mind off the day. How many more days like this would there be? How would I stand up to the rest of the school? Having Jake around would help, because nobody messed with him. However, he couldn't be around all the time. Someday, sooner or later, I would have to stand on my own two feet. The question was would I survive? Would I run away in the face of this challenge or would I stand up and fight?

I knew that I wanted to stay with my class and finish out the year. I also knew that some of my friends would stand by me, like Jake and Michael. However, there were more kids who either did not want to understand or didn't care. Those who didn't care wouldn't be a problem since they would simply leave me alone. However, those who didn't understand were more likely to attack me, verbally or physically. Given a one on one fight I could probably handle myself with most of them, except for the big jocks, of course. Some of the linemen on our football team weighed over 300 pounds! There would be no way I could stand up to them. Not alone anyway.

So having had all of that go through my mind, the question was what could I do about it? In some cases the answer was clearly . . . nothing. However, I might be able to increase my chances of survival by using the weapons I had at hand.

The most obvious weapon in my arsenal were my breasts. These would be most effective against any guy who might come after me. I had seen the effect they had on Jake and Mark so it was likely they would work on any other red-blooded American male. They wouldn't work on most women though. I would have to find another to fend them off though I was not sure what that would be just now. For most everyone else I would have to rely on my running and stamina. Sure, there were people who could catch me, but not many. Admittedly, these weapons would not always be effective, but they were the best I had.

 

Chapter 14

Most of my first few weeks had become routine in many ways, though they were not fun. Jake certainly helped stop most of my antagonists in their tracks. However, one day Jake had a late soccer practice and I had to walk home alone for the first time. To say that I was frightened would have been an understatement. I was petrified.

I did get to see Jake before I left though, and that helped me get on my way.

"Jake, can't I just wait for you so we can walk home together?" I pleaded.

"Erin, you know I would love that," he took me in his arms to emphasize the point, "but your mom is expecting you home and you know how much she has been worrying about you recently."

"Yeah. I know." My head dipped as I realized that he was right. Mom had been concerned for me ever since she heard the stories of what the other kids had been saying to me. If I didn't show up on time, she would probably have the cops out looking for me.

"Listen, you'll be fine. Just put one foot in front of the other and don't talk to any strangers."

"Okay." I looked around and, not seeing anyone, kissed him quickly before turning and heading out the door. Why did it seem so natural to kiss him?

As I got out of sight of the schoolyard, a couple of kids started to follow me. I recognized some of them as living near me so I didn't think much of it. I convinced myself I was just being paranoid and continued on my way.

However, as I went a little further one of the kids ran up to me and grabbed me from behind. The other three came up and took hold of my arms resulting in my books dropping to the ground. A piece of duct tape went over my mouth. I struggled as best I could, but there were four of them and only one of me. I was done for.

One of them punched me in the gut knocking the wind out of me. With my mouth taped shut I gasped for breath through my nose, which wasn't working too well. It was kind of like breathing through a straw, but it was better than not breathing at all. I tried to lash out with my arms, but two of the boys had me pinned. I squirmed again, but there simply was no breaking free. My legs kicked out once or twice in the hope of hitting one of the boys hard enough so that he would let me go, but that didn't work either. Then one of the other boys sat down on my legs so they couldn't move.

"Settle down Shawn or you'll just get it worse. Now that your boyfriend isn't around we're going to give you what you deserve."

My eyes widened as the next punch came in from the left. My ribs screamed in pain. Tears filled my eyes.

The fists came fast and furious after that. I don't know how many times I was hit. I didn't bother counting. I just hoped they would stop soon. I couldn't even cover up to protect myself. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I hated it and I hated these boys.

Finally, the beating stopped, and the boys left. I wasn't sure why, just thankful. I felt a couple of them spit in my face as they left. I did the best I could to wipe it away. When they were out of sight I ripped the tape away from my mouth and grabbed lungs full of air.

I lay there in the alley for some time just curled up in a ball and trying not to move. After a while I got the strength to sit up and noticed that my blouse was torn in several places and I hurt all over. I was pretty sure that a couple of my ribs were busted as it hurt like the dickens when I breathed. I finally stood up, collected my books, and headed home. I saw that mom wasn't home yet and was thankful so she wouldn't have to see me like this.

I went to the bathroom and got cleaned up as best I could and changed into some clean clothes. I threw away the blouse, which had been torn and put the jeans in the hamper. I was glad that the bruises were not easily seen. Obviously, the boys knew what they were doing when it came to getting their message across without leaving too many visible signs.

After I had washed up I went back to my room, sat down on my bed and started to shake. I couldn't stop. No matter how I tried to calm myself down. I tried music and wrapping myself up in a blanket, but nothing worked. Finally, due to exhaustion, I collapsed on my bed and passed out. I woke up a couple of hours later when I heard the door bell ring. It was Jake.

"What's wrong Erin?" Jake asked.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Don't do that, Erin. Obviously, something is wrong or you wouldn't be sitting here shaking like a leaf. Now tell me what's going on."

After a few minutes I broke down and told Jake what had happened. I know he only wanted to help, but I didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

As Jake listened to my story, I could see the anger building up in him. I reached out and took his hand. His face softened as he looked into my eyes. They told me what I already knew . . . he cared about me. "And then I made it home and got cleaned up. Then you showed up and here we are."

"Those boys have had it," Jake said as he looked out my bedroom window.

"Jake, don't do anything to them. You may just make things worse for me. I know you mean well and all, but please let it go. Okay?"

"Erin, you can't let them get away with this. If you do, then they'll just keep doing it. There has to be consequences for them. They need to know that when they do stuff like this that there is a cost. It is the only way they'll stop, or at least think about ever doing such a thing again."

"I understand what you mean Jake and I know you're right. They do need to learn a lesson, but could we hold off until I am healed?"

"I suppose, but they will pay for hurting you Erin. I promise."

I looked over at Jake and saw something else in his eyes. After a minute or two I recognized what it was. He was feeling guilty for me getting hurt. "Jake, it wasn't your fault."

"But I wasn't there for you Erin."

"Listen, we both know you can't be with me all the time. I mean I appreciate you so much for being my savior and all, but let's be realistic. You are only one person and you can't guard me 24/7."

"I know. It's just that . . ."

"What?" I asked.

"Well, it's just that I care about you, Erin. More than I probably should."

"I care about you too, Jake?"

"I mean I think I'm falling for you."

"What!"

Jake hesitated a moment, took my hand in his, and said, "Yes."

"But how? Why?"

"I can't answer you, Erin. I just know how I feel. I know how my life seems better when I am around you. You have given me something to live for and that is a good thing in my book."

"And how do you know that I fill that missing spot?"

"Because when I am with you, like now, I don't feel that same hole in my heart. When I hold you in my arms the world is a better place and you bring some peace into my life. I also love the way that we communicate. The fact that you are a guy means you know what I need and how to please me. I only hope that I can give to you as much as you have given me."

As tears began to flow down my cheeks, I gave him a kiss and said, "Oh Jake."

Jake and I snuggled for a while on my bed. Around 8, we straightened up and went downstairs.

"Hi, mom," I said.

"Hi, Erin. Hi Jake."

"Hi, Mrs. Jensen."

"Shouldn't you be getting home, Jake?"

"Yes. I just wanted to stop by and make sure Erin got home safe."

"Oh really?" She said with a smile on her face.

"Yeah. I couldn't walk her home today because of soccer practice."

"I see," Mom said.

Jake noticed the clock on the wall and gasped, "Oh crap. I've got to leave Erin. I was supposed to be home a half hour ago. Mom is going to kill me."

"Okay. Let me walk you to the door."

We went to the front door where I gave Jake a kiss and told him, "Take care sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"

"You've got it, Erin. I love you."

"I love you too, handsome."

 

Chapter 15

The day after my beating I got up on time, but did not want to go to school. I knew that if I didn't go, the boys who did this to me would win, and I wasn't going to give them that power over me.

I mustered up all the courage I could and got myself ready for school. I got my makeup on, dressed in a pair of jeans, and a tight fitting, lime green blouse. My body still hurt all over, but I was going to face this day head on. If I didn't then it would be just that much harder the following day. No. It was now or never as the song goes.

I grabbed a piece of toast and some juice for breakfast. A short time later the doorbell rang. It was Jake.

"Good morning."

I gave him the best smile I could, hugged him, and kissed him, "Good morning yourself, handsome."

"You almost ready?"

"I just need my books," I replied.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks Jake." I beamed at him as I retrieved my books from the side table near the door.

Jake and I went off to school just like we had done before though we both knew this day was going to be different. It was the day after my beating and, therefore, different. I only hoped to make it through in one piece. Jake and I walked in silence and he held my hand the whole way. Can you believe it? I couldn't, but he did. He must have really been serious about what he said the day before. He cared about me and he didn't care who knew. The rush from such a revelation made me feel like I was on top of the world. Even the pain in my ribs didn't hurt as much. I can't even begin to tell you how my feelings for him changed in that moment of realization. I went from caring about him to loving him. Was I really in love with Jake though? Then again isn't that how it should be? Two people become best friends and then, if everything goes well, they fall in love. Yeah, I know the situation with us is unusual, but I can't deny the feelings I'm having for him. They're as real to me as my breasts. School that day was an adventure in fear, courage, joy, anticipation, and, eventually, relief.

The fear and courage came about when I saw one of the guys who hit me the day before. I have to admit the first time I saw him I flashed back to the event and felt a chill race throughout my body. I also felt the anger and the fear too, of course. That was only natural.

I was on my way to my third period class and saw him coming out of the room I was going to. I forced myself to make eye contact even though I was terrified. I just kept thinking about Jake and what he meant to me. That one thought ran through my mind over and over until the guy passed me. I didn't see any of the others so that gave me some relief.

'Whew.' I thought to myself. I made it. I smiled as I entered the classroom and took my seat.

The rest of the day went smoother, but was still scary at times. When it came time to go home Jake was waiting to escort me home. Even better though was that Jake gave me a kiss right in front of several people. He let the kiss linger for several seconds before breaking. He gave some of the more curious people who watched us a look that would have cut through solid steel, if there'd been any around. It was like he was daring them to say something about it. I have a feeling that if they had he would have gone off on them.

We walked home hand in hand again, but this time I asked him, "Why?"

"Why what?"

I looked down at our interlocked hands and then he realized what I was asking him.

"Well, I just wanted you, and everyone else, to know that I wasn't kidding last night, Erin."

I snuggled closer to him. "I know Jake. Believe me I know." I brought my head to rest in the crook of his shoulder and squeezed his arm. "Thank you for protecting me Jake."

"You're welcome."

As the weeks passed by my hair grew longer and, eventually, reached my shoulders. Mom and Jake's sister Heather taught me all that they knew about taking care of and styling it. They showed me how to put in braids, French twists, how to tease it out to give it volume, and other stuff too. I have to admit; I had fun learning all of it. I wasn't sure why except that I liked being able to change my appearance in subtle and not so subtle ways. Having longer hair helped me appear more feminine too and I liked that. Maybe it was a growing desire to be more of a girl for Jake. Maybe I just liked looking pretty. Whatever the reason I was having fun and that was good. Considering all that happened to me in the last year or so I needed something good in my life.

Additionally, I learned how to behave more like a girl too. I worked hard at it, painfully hard at times, but I learned. Heather taught me how to flirt with guys and how to tell when a guy was flirting with me. I didn't think there was much chance of that happening, but it was still good to know. It was amazing how much body language played in the games between guys and gals. Both teams had their ways of doing things, though it seemed the girls were a bit more advanced, or shall we say subtle, in their usage than the guys.

I know Terri would have helped too except she went back to college a couple of weeks back. Will Stuart, her boyfriend, and she had packed up their things and hooked it south to UT Austin.

Now if I could only apply what I was learning to help me survive.

 

Chapter 16

It was a sunny, but cool, October day and I was waiting for Jake to pick me up for school. I was more nervous than normal, but it wasn't because of the guys who'd beat me up a few weeks earlier. In fact, those guys hadn't even looked at me funny in the past week or so. I wondered why they hadn't done anything else to hurt me, but figured Jake had something to do with that. Whatever the reason, I was thankful for the peace in my life.

When the doorbell rang I bolted down the stairs and opened the door to find Jake waiting for me. Yeah, I know I was acting anxious and all that, but that's because I was. I had made an extra effort to look nice for Jake and I couldn't wait for him to see me. I was wearing a new pair of form fitting jeans and a thick white turtleneck sweater. My hair was fluffed out in thick strawberry blonde tresses that fell down to my shoulder blades. My makeup was faultless.

When Jake saw me his eyes practically bugged out of his head and his mouth opened real wide. It was just the sort of reaction I had hoped for. I flashed my best smile up at him and kissed him quickly before his mouth had a chance to close.

Jake didn't say anything for quite a while during our walk to school. Finally, I broke the silence and said, "You're kind of quiet this morning. Is anything the matter, Jake?"

"Not really. Just thinking."

"About what?" I asked.

"You."

"Me? Why?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to hear the answer."

"Now you have me curious." I pulled up short and turned to Jake before adding, "What's going on Jake?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"For heaven's sake. Yes, I want to know. Now what do you mean you're thinking about me? Should I be worried? Scared? Excited?"

"It's nothing bad Erin. Believe me."

"Okay, I believe you, but now that I know it's good I definitely want to hear it."

"Alright." Jake paused a moment as he looked me square in the eye. His dark brown eyes burned into me. "Erin, you may not have noticed this over the past few weeks, but I have."

"You've noticed what?"

"That you're acting more like a girl."

"Oh." Coyly I looked up at him and moved ever so closer to him. "Is that a bad thing Jake?"

"Not really. It's just that . . . "

"Yes?"

Jake moved towards me and took my hand in his. "Erin, the short of it is that I can't stop thinking about you. Heck, even when I dream you are there. It's hard for me to concentrate on anything else anymore."

"I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to put your brain into a tailspin."

"No problem, Erin. I enjoy it."

"So, what do you mean then?"

"Look, Erin, the simple fact is you turn me on."

"Really?" This was no news to me. I had long ago learned the kind of effect I had on Jake.

Jake smiled and answered, "Don't act so innocent Erin. You know you love it. The truth of it is, I love it too. More to the point I love you." Jake squeezed my hand and then looked deep into my eyes. His gaze drilled right down to the core of my soul. I forced myself to lock my eyes to his and tried to sense what was there. Was he telling me the truth? I had no reason to doubt him, but I wanted to be sure at the same time.

"I love how you look at me Jake. It's almost like . . ."

"How?"

"Well. Umm. I don't know, but it makes me feel all gushy inside."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Oh yes, Jake." I put my arms around his neck and pressed my chest against him, "It is a very good thing."

"Are you saying that you love me too?" Jake asked.

Was he right? Did I love him? I mean I knew he loved me. He had proven that several times recently. He certainly had protected me from the bad guys in school. That showed me how much he cared for me, but how did I show him that I cared for him? Here I was getting all dolled up to look nice, but whom was I looking nice for? Was it for him? Was it for me? Yes, I liked looking pretty and all, but was that so I looked good for him? Combined with the feelings I was having could only mean one thing. I did love Jake. I loved Jake. I loved my best friend.

I looked up into his eyes and didn't say a word. I just looked at him as if I was seeing him for the first time in my life. Here he was this 6 foot 2 hunk of muscle with jet-black hair and deep brown eyes. I knew he was handsome and all, but I hadn't figured on how his looks would effect me. I blinked.

"Yes, Jake. I do love you. It's the only thing that makes sense of everything I am feeling about you." I kissed him. It wasn't the kind of kiss you give to a friend or even someone you are dating either. No, this was a kiss that communicated love in its purest form. I was giving myself to him body and soul.

As we broke, I asked, "But Jake. Are you sure? I mean really, really sure about this?"

"Absolutely, Erin. I love you. Believe it."

"But what about . . ." I looked down towards my groin.

"If you're asking me do I accept you as you are, the answer is yes. I think you are one of the most beautiful women I know, even if you aren't completely female." His hands moved down to my, butt as he pulled me closer. "Listen, Erin, I love you just the way you are. Head to toe, inside and out. If anything, you are more exciting to me because of all that you are and all that you have."

My eyes began to tear up. I rested my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. The beat was there. Steady and strong, though faster than I remembered. Did I do that?

"Erin?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Jake leaned back and I lifted my head to look into his face.

"So. What now?"

"I don't know about you Erin, but I could really use a kiss from the woman I love."

"And who would that be?" I replied impishly knowing full well he meant me.

"Come here you," Jake said as he pulled me tight against him.

Jake's lips greeted mine with warmth and desire. Neither one of us used much tongue. We just used our lips and it was one of the best kisses ever. I think that what made it so great was our love for one another. The heightened emotion, the energy, and the hormones coursing through our bodies all contributed to the moment.

Realizing we were running late for school we headed off to get to class. We didn't make it on time and were both marked late. Oh well, it was so worth it because Jake and I were in love and that made everything all right.

The day went better than expected, but then after what Jake told me this morning it would have been hard for anything to ruin the day for me.

On the way home though my curiosity got the best of me and I asked Jake about the four guys who'd beat me up.

"So, Jake, do you have something to do with them avoiding me lately?"

"A little."

"Did you hurt them?"

"A little."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"No," Jake replied. "Let's just say that I showed them the error of their ways. I showed them that there would always be a bigger dog in the yard. A big dog that will bite them in the butt if they ever do anything to you again."

"And?"

"That's all there was too it, Erin."

I thought a moment and looked at Jake before saying, "Thank you, Jake. I love you so much for watching out for me. You truly are my best friend in the whole world."

"And I am glad to have you as my friend too, Erin. Most of all I am glad I love you."

"Ditto."

  

  

  

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