Shadow of a Saree

by Josephine Gonsalves

 

Joseph was 34 year old man. He was short and a little over weight. His clean shaven faced and soft complexion, along with his neat dressing gave him a pleasant personality. He worked as a senior settlement officer, in the small business section, of the Income tax of India From Monday to Friday this office on the 11^th floor of the Income tax head office building at Churchgate, was where he was "Joseph Saab", the man who computed and made adjustments to the income tax statements of so many small businesses. He had twelve clerks and six peons working under him. He was not pushy and was honest in his dealings, making him well liked by his superiors and subordinates.

He was single and although under pressure from his parents and friends to marry, had no intentions of marrying. He lived in the suburbs, and had recently purchased a new apartment flat, in a well to do complex. He was always being invited to friends and colleagues homes and parties on Saturdays. He accepted sometimes, but most Saturdays Joseph spent quietly at home. Saturdays was when Joseph was most happy, cause it was the time Josie, his 'femme' self came out for the weekend. Joseph was a closeted crossdresser.

He remembered his early cding days, when it required only women's clothes and light make up to easily pass, as a woman. He was in the final year of school and was in a "puppy" love situation with Margaret, the new girl in the neighborhood, who was two years older than him, 5'6" and physically well developed for her age. She represented her college basketball team. He was infatuated with her breasts and buns, but up till now had only managed to speak, for a few minutes to her, everyday, on the balcony, terrace or quietly on the stairs, of the big housing complex, in the suburbs of Bombay. He did not see what she saw in him as there were a lot of boys waiting 'for a chance' to be with her or take her out. But when he asked her if she would come with him for a movie, she agreed. He had collected some money and had asked his friend Richard to book tickets in advance for the current blockbuster movie, on the 15^th of August – Indian independence day. The only trouble was the movie was marked as "A" and he would not be allowed in due to his small boy looks. Margaret had already seen some western "A" movies, being older, and attending college.

Of late, though he was getting these funny ideas of trying on female clothes, which he saw lying on the clotheslines, especially the colorful sarees of his non Christian neighbors. He had even touched and run the ends of the sarees, on his arms and neck, when no one was around or watching. The feeling was intoxicating and he was getting attracted to these articles of female clothing. His new growing infatuation for women's clothes was really confusing him and distracting him from his studies. Prior to this he had been a straight "A" student. His attraction to Margaret, who towered over him was another thing. Was he attracted to physically bigger and stronger girls.

He had this fantasy of wearing sarees and acting as an ordinary Indian housewife. However as an only child of his now widowed mother, he had little chance of trying out any colorful, interesting, female clothes at home. His mother wore cheap black polyester sarees or dresses, that were depressing.

 

The first time : His first opportunity came when he had to play the part of a Gujarati woman in his all boys school, Independence day program. His entire class was punished for eve teasing and wolf whistling at the visiting convent school girls, who had come to attend a lecture on career options and openings in the armed services at his school.

The 'punishment' was quite simple. They were to play couples representing the different states of India. He was selected to play the female part of the couple from Gujarat. Mrs. Fernandes, his class and Geography teacher had selected all the 'girly' looking and small built boys to act as females. He did not feel out of place as there were other classmates, too who were to dress as females.

He was secretly thinking how fortunate he was, that he had to wear a saree, with all the accessories worn by a Gujarati woman. Mrs. Deshmukh, who wore only sarees, to school, agreed to dress up the boys that were to be dressed in sarees, since she wore sarees and could provide the clothes ( sarees and all ). The wigs from the dramatics and talent club would be used. Other female teachers were asked to help with the other states female attire. At the last moment Mrs. D requested Miss. Lalita, the young Gujarati woman in charge of the tiffin room and teachers aid room ( chalks, dusters, maps, large compasses, etc ), to help dress and train the 'Gujarati' boy.

Ms. L was a young, buxom woman, a little tall for most Indian women at 5'6", and he and his classmates were often caught slyly ogling her full breasted, saree clad figure. She had been offered this job when her father, the school gardener retired and Mr. Thomas the previous teacher's aid room in charge had got a stroke. She wore her mostly cotton sarees, the Gujarati way with a lot of glass bangles and 'payals' on her ankles. Every time she moved, the tinkling of glass followed her. The thought of wearing her clothes, and being dressed by her was already making him tremble with anticipation.

On the last day of rehearsals, he and all the boys who were to be dressed up as females were asked to come early, so that they could try out their costumes and a proper rehearsal could be conducted. Ms. L and the other teachers were already waiting when he and the other boys reported to the school hall. Mrs.F then started calling out the names of the boys and the teacher in charge of dressing the boys. She called out his name and paired him off with Ms.L. who took a good look at him shyly and sized him up. She smiled and said "I am a little nervous, but I have some experience dressing boys to play females. So now I am going to turn this naughty Goan boy into a demure Gujarati lass." Her words, spoken in clear English took him by surprise.

She wasted no time and soon was leading him to one of the classrooms that was allotted as an extra dressing room, for the 'female' players. There were another ten or fifteen boys being dressed and made up at the same time, so everything was hectic. They were both nervous as they started the dressing. He had to strip to his shorts while she looked on. He felt a slight shiver, when she hooked on the padded bra. The shiver got more intense when she adjusted the padding, in the cups. She was giving him a full bosom. The off white silk blouse sleeves and the cotton petticoat hem required some alteration, as she was taller and broader than him. Ms. L took care of it by using pins and tack stitching. She said she would had a saffron colored blouse, at home, which was too tight for her, but would fit him perfectly. She had him wear another shorter petticoat inside, saying that it would give a him a womanly hip. The wig, selected from a collection stored in the dramatic club room, was thick haired with a large bun behind. It was secured in place and fluffed and patted to the desired shape. The make up, large earings, jewelry, bangles etc. came next and with each new article came more excitement. Since his ears were not pierced, she secured the large dangling earings, with small clip on earings. The clips hurt a little, but he hardly complained. The bangles slid quiet easily on his wrist, and their weight immediately had him bend his arm at the elbow. When finally she draped the saree on him and adjusted the pallu he was shocked by the sensation of the material on his body.

The saree was a heavy off white silk one. It had a 4 inch , thick saffron and green lined with gold work border on lower portion, and the pallu was a saffron with green and gold interwoven lines. She noticed his body tremors, as she continued adjusting the saree and make up etc. She asked him to follow her to a full length mirror, placed in one corner. He could hardly believe his eyes. He looked so like a Gujarati woman, and a pretty one too. No one would believe he was a boy. He was also feeling very feminine and continued admiring himself in the mirror. She told him to pull himself out of his daydream and try on the low heeled open slippers she had laid out in front of him. She then guided him on how to walk and move in small steps, so that he could get the feel of wearing a saree and not disturb the pleats or loosen the saree. She showed him how to hold the pleats and pallu and stand like a woman. Although shy, she noticed he was enjoying his role. She said that they could join up with the rest for the rehearsals.

The rehearsals went well. Richard his friend who was to play the Gujarati man could not believe his eyes. He kept stealing glances and was pretty disturbed all thru the practice. He forgot to link arms when making their entrance and it was only after Mrs. F's repeated promptings that he was able to perform the simple part assigned to him.

Joseph was feeling guilty that he was enjoying his 'saree' experience more than the national anthem. Soon however he forgot he was wearing a saree and just sang out from his heart happily and proudly. Then it was time to undress. Ms L. undressed him carefully, noting down the alterations to be made to the petticoat hem and the replacement of the blouse with 'the tight saffron colored' one at her home. The alterations to the petticoat could be done by hand stitching later, at her place.

He dressed in his boy clothes and helped her fold the saree, and other items and put it all in the large bag she had with her. He carried it for her up to her place, which was opposite the school, in the quarters provided for the school staff. At the door to her quarters she shyly thanked him. He told her that he should be the one to thank her for all the trouble she had taken.

He met Margaret on the terrace that evening. She said that his eyes looked a little different. He told her the day's happenings. He was surprised when she asked him whose saree he wore, what color saree he wore, who dressed him, and how he felt while he was dressed as a woman. Did the other boys make fun of the 'female' boys. He told her all and that actually he felt quiet excited to wear a saree and was looking forward towards the next days function. The very talk of wearing a saree was having a light headed effect on him and he noticed that Margaret was probing him with minute details, and her voice had changed, to a more inquisitive and curious level. What was she up to 'encouraging him to discuss his Gujarati woman part' While he was pondering this she suddenly pulled him close and kissed him. He reacted by putting his arms around her neck and closing his eyes as she continued to kiss him. Soon he was out of breath, but she continued till he was weak kneed and simply collapsed against her. She continued to kiss and pet him till he could bear it no more. She then turned him around, bent his body against her, so his upper body was resting against her left arm and breast, and continued to kiss him. Her right hand undid his pant buttons and she found his erect member. She squeezed and rubbed it alternately, till he came. He stayed like that as she continued playing with his nipples and he moaned softly. She kissed his lips and cheeks and neck and hugged him even tighter. When they had recovered, she held his hands and looking deeply in his eyes smiled. He realized that she had treated him like a woman, while she had taken the male part. The feeling was quite pleasant and he had enjoyed it. Reluctantly they parted, promising to meet the next day at the movie house. She reminded him that it was an "A" movie.

  

  

  

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