Secret Shared

by Karin Roberts

 

Opening Up

 

Right from an early age I new I was different from other boys. I was always fascinated with women's clothes and in particular high heels, fur coats and long length evening gloves. I remember trying on my mother's high heels and fur coat and loved the silky feel of the gold silk evening gloves she had. At first I thought this was only kids play and I would change but no as I progressed into early teens the feeling's got stronger and so did my attempts at dressing. Experimenting with make-up every chance I got. I did not have access to a wig so it was always headscarf's to cover my boyish hair.

Around the time I turned eighteen my mother and father took an anniversary holiday. I was staying at home with minimal supervision from my grandparents to give them some privacy together and unbeknown to them it was a perfect opportunity for me to obtain some much needed essentials for what was now a serious hobby. I had planned carefully and around two weeks before they left I had ordered a blonde wig from an internet company, "Amanda" it was advertised as and was around shoulder length tapered at the sides and with a short fringe. Although I could still fit into my mothers shoes they were becoming a bit tight so flushed with excitement I also managed to order a couple of pairs of shoes from another web site I had found. But the prize of my Internet shopping spree had to be the delicious 38b breast forms and a white satin waist clincher that I was convinced would add to my feminine shape. Pleased with my purchases I sat back waiting their delivery while my parents were on holiday. A few days after their departure my secret deliveries started arriving and by the close of the first week everything had been delivered.

My grandparents had already let me know that they were planning a shopping trip to Edinburgh at the weekend, so I knew that I would have all of Saturday to myself to play around with my new stuff. With an early rise I ran a bath and sprinkled in some scented bath oil of my mothers and lay back to soak my body. Half an hour later, I was drying myself off and dusting my smooth frame with talc. Slipping on my mother's dressing gown I went into her bedroom and sat by the dresser. Lifting a tube of her foundation I gently squeezed some on to my finger tips and began to massage it into my face as I had watched her do on many occasions. Once I had an even cover I began to lightly brush on some powder to complete the effect. A slight touch of blusher on my cheekbones and I was ready to do my eye's.

Now this is the area that I have always felt let me down and I struggled to get right. A couple of minutes later I had applied some dark pink crème eye shadow to by bottom lids and a lighter pink shade fading into dark at deepest part of my eye socket. My eyelashes coated in a thickening black mascara to complete the look. Looking in the mirror I thought not too bad but I still needed to do some studying on how to make my eyes look better. I finished of my face by applying some creamy Fuchsia lipstick creating a perfect bow shape and very kissable I thought as I took a final look in the mirror. Rising from the dresser I stepped over to the bed to continue my transformation.

I had read the instructions surrounding how to apply the breast forms and smeared some glue on to the rear of each before lying back on the bed and placing them as evenly on my chest as I could and applying some pressure for them to stick to my chest. A minute or so later I stood up and marvelled at my newly acquired "tits" as they hung from my chest. They could maybe have been a bit straighter but for a first attempt it was not too bad. Crossing to the dresser I opened the drawer and extracted a white lacy under wired bra slipping my arms through the straps I slipped the breast forms into the cups and fastened the front catch. Nice I thought as I saw the skin coloured globes encased by the white lace bra. I picked up the waist clincher and slipped it round my waist although only a 28 waist it said that it could reduce you by six inches well my mother was only 26 so there was no real need for maximum effect so I clipped it in place and only lightly pulled on the laces for a minor reduction in size. Taking out pair of matching white lacy panties I slid them up my legs pushing my maleness back between my legs to hide the bulge. Finally I rolled a pair of tan tights up my legs and stood up walking to my mother's wardrobe to select my outfit for the day.

Opening the sliding door I looked at the row of clothing all neatly hung up. My mind wandered back to my early years when my mother had owned lots of really sexy gear that was when her and my father used to have a really busy social life, Golf Club dances, Social Club events and many parties that their group of friends organised. Around the time I was 10 however my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer which was a worrying time for us all. It ended with her having a mastectomy and at that point her dressing habits changed gone was the sexy clothes and she became much more practical in her choice of clothing. I suppose it was because of the loss of part of her womanhood but she was still an attractive woman and had a good figure. How I wished it had not happened and she had still retained her sexy wardrobe. My mind drifted to Mrs Watson across the road who when dressed was really sex on legs, short skirts, tight tops, sexy high heeled boots and shoes. Indeed two weeks ago I had watched her going out with her husband to some social event with a knockout tight black shiny dress with a slit right up to her thigh and long evening gloves and shoes which must have had six inch spike heels, Oh how I would have loved a day with her wardrobe at my disposal. I snapped back out of my dream as I could feel a stirring between my legs at the thought of that night. No time for that yet I need to get dressed.

I finally selected a light blue denim skirt, I knew it was a bit tighter and shorter than some of the others my mother had slipping it on I fastened the catch and pulled up the zip at the back. A fuchsia pink nylon blouse was next sliding it up my arms feeling my light arm hair react to the electricity from the material I tucked it in and buttoned it up leaving the top buttons open to leave a sight of my new found cleavage. I took a wide white canvas belt and slipped it round my waist. Shoes next my mother again had binned most of her higher heels so I had to settle for a pair of navy blue leather shoes with around a two inch chunky heel. Finished dressing I stepped over to my final purchase and removed the blonde wig from its box. Slipping it on me fixed it to my own hair with two hair clips and brushed it out. Stepping over to the mirrored wardrobe I took my first look at what I hoped would be the new improved me. Wow I thought to myself what a difference the shape had changed the hair the breast forms all made a significant difference. I really did look like a young girl, ok the make up could still do with some improvement but I was sure that with practice I could get it better. With one last look I turned and headed downstairs to begin my day.

Downstairs I made a coffee and sat at the breakfast table my legs crossed looking through one of my mother mags. Taking interest in the articles on fashion and make up and reading my horoscope and doing one of those quizzes on relationships "Who is your perfect man" you know the kind of thing. Finishing my coffee I set about some household chores ironing, dusting making the beds all the time happy feeling my nylon clad legs rub together at times and the feel of my new breast forms as they moved and bounced as I did. Finishing the housework around lunchtime I made myself a sandwich and a glass of pineapple juice and sat down once again to finish of the mag I had been reading earlier.

For the afternoon before I had to change back I decided to watch some daytime television.

Kicking of my shoes I pulled my nylon covered legs up on to the sofa and with the remote control began to flick through the channels. Soon I became bored and my mind wandered could I squeeze in hour of my other cross dressing interest before having to transform back to Colin. Yeah I probably could I decided as I got on slipped on my heels and made for the hall.

I should probably explain at this point that for a few years now I have been fascinated by the damsel in distress scenario and bondage in particular. My mind strayed back to my first experience and an incident that had probably shaped the way I was today. It was when I was around 9 or 10 and a large group of us used to play Cowboys and Indians about fifteen of us all in. One week you would be the Cavalry the next week you would play the part of the Indians. We all had a series of clothing that we would use including two squaws outfits. Anyway this one week when it was our turn to be Indians me and a guy called Jim were kept in after school for talking in class by the time we got home and went to meet our friends guess what me and Jim were left with the last two costumes yes you've guessed it we were the squaws. Anyway we had an imaginary Fort as a base for the Calvary and some distance away in the woods we had created a couple of tepees with some old canvas as the Indian camp. The aim of the game was for the Indians to try and make their way to the Fort and take the soldiers prisoner or for the Calvary to make their way to the camp and do likewise to the Indians.

Anyway that week there was a mix up and instead of one group being asked to attack the other both set off thinking it was their week to attack. Me and Jim left behind as the squaws at the camp to make drinks for all the others for when the game was over. After we had been alone for ten or fifteen minutes there was a large screaming and those playing the Calvary attacked the camp. Both me and Jim were quickly captured and held by the arms as Robert who was playing the Calvary Captain asked us questions where are your braves we stayed silent playing out the game. I never really liked Robert as he was a bit of a bully but he was about to change my life. "Well troops, it looks like well just have to wait on those murdering savages to return to the camp we can set up an ambush." The game was about to take an unexpected turn. "What do we do with these two, then Captain" asked Alan another of our friends. "Bring them in here" he said walking towards the tepee. Once we were inside he said "get them on their knees" as we were forced down. "What you going to do" asked Alan. "Tie them up of course" he replied "You don't need to do that" I piped up "Oh shut up squaw" he said as he grabbed my hands and with some rope he had found in the corner began to tightly bind my wrists. Once he finished with my wrists he stretched the remainder of the rope down and grabbing my ankles he pulled them together and tightly tied them as well "Ow" I squealed as he cinched the rope around my ankles pushing me to the ground at the same time. "Alan give me your neck scarf" he demanded and it was handed over kneeing down he knotted it and then forced it between my lips and gagged me tightly. "There do the same to that one and get out here we've got an ambush to set." So a minute or two later there was me and Jim lying dressed as squaws hogtied and gagged. It really was a momentous moment and although it only lasted about ten or fifteen minutes until the ambush was over and the war won it had a much longer affect on me.

So here I am in the middle of my mother's kitchen with a bundle of ropes and some cloth and dressed once more as a woman. Sitting on the straight backed kitchen chair I began by taking some rope and tying both my ankles together, at the other end I made a couple of loops and briefly standing passed the rest of the rope under me and let it hang loosely through the back of the seat before sitting back down on it. Taking some more rope I tied my knees together just below the knee, before passing another under the seat and tightly tying my hips to the base of the chair. Taking one of the cloths I scrunched it up into a ball and packed my mouth with it, before taking the other cloth and securing the packing in my mouth as an effective gag. Lastly I slipped my arms through the back of the seat and reached for the loops I had made at the beginning of my self tie. Slipping my wrists through the loops I twisted the rope a little then slipped my wrists through again. Pulling my legs forward a bit had the effect of tightening the loops a bit like a noose and securing my wrists. Not perfect I know but the only way I knew at that point to self tie and still be able to get free in time to change. In minutes I was wriggling and mmphing into the gag my mind in overdrive back to that day as the squaw or that I had been kidnapped and tied up in a cellar by some manic unsure of his plans for me and what my fate would be.

Another few minutes and my cock was rock hard with the excitement and seconds later spewed out my juice on to my underwear. Relaxing for a few seconds savouring the moment I slipped my feet back a bit and was able to pull the loops round my wrists lose so I could slip my hands out. The fantasy was over for another day as I untied my legs and walked upstairs to begin the transformation back to Colin. How I wished I had someone to share this with someone who could tie me up and role play fantasy kidnaps etc only being able to get free when that person untied you, well I suppose it would never happen but then life changes and as I stepped into the bath to wash before my grandparents got back little did I realise that in a few months I would have that but in a surprising and exciting way!

In the following couple of months I added to my stash of feminine items, another wig this time a bit more expensive and platinum blonde. It was longer and fuller and a mass of curls which settled nicely just below my shoulders. I finally got round to purchasing a dress as well a simple black dress about knee length with cap sleeves and silver belt to emphasise the waist. Anyway in the previous couple of months I had not had much opportunity to dress and was dying for the chance. I had practised when I could with make up and was now becoming much more accomplished with my look and I thought becoming much more convincing. Little did I realise that an unexpected opportunity was about to come my way as I sat finishing of my college projects one night.

The phone rang, "Colin it's for you" I heard my mother call from downstairs. I closed my book and jumped of the bed and headed downstairs. I picked up the receiver and spoke "Hello" "Hi Colin it's Jim here" "Oh hiya Jim" I responded, "Just giving you a ring to let you know I'm back from University, fancy meeting up" he asked, "You lucky beggar, I've got a another couple of days at College but I could see you nearer the end of the week if that's ok" "Oh not before that" he asked sounding a bit anxious, "Look you ok, you sound a bit down" I asked "It's just I need a friend to talk to" he replied. "Well I could come over Thursday if that ok" I asked "Eh yeah ok see you then" he said quickly before hanging up.

I could swear there was a hint of a sob in his voice as he did so. He had me worried what was going on why did he need to talk to me so badly ?

Now, if you have been reading closely you'll remember that Jim was the other squaw who had been bound and gagged in the tepee during our childhood games. I would not say that he was my best friend but we had been friendly for years and hung out together before Jim's dad who had his own business had struck it lucky in his business ventures and it was local knowledge that the family was now worth 2 or 3 million. Jim had been one of the older members of our group of friends and while I was only in my first year now at College Jim was midway through his third year at University. When his family had come into money they had built their own home a really spacious house with a great view over the Clyde Valley swimming pool and everything. I had only been there once but it really was a palace.

Many of the kids had kind of turned against Jim after that bad mouthing him really out of jealousy, but I had stayed silent. Good luck to them I thought I knew his Dad had worked damn hard to get the business up and running so they deserved any rewards that were going. What I did remember about my one visit though was that his mother was a bit snobby so maybe she attracted the bad feeling towards them. She was however an absolute babe, great figure, knock out legs and stunningly attractive. I remember being almost open mouthed in her company and while she must have thought some horny teenager was ogling her legs and her knockers. Really I was thinking I wish my mother bought the types of sexy gear that she wore ! Anyway all would be revelled in a couple of days so returning to my books I put it out of my mind and concentrated on my studies.

So come Thursday I was walking up the drive way to Jim's house it looked bigger than my previous visit and I could see that a Tennis Court had been added out back an what appeared to be another room extension which had been built on to the top of the double garage which joined the property. I knocked on the door and waited a minute or so later the door was answered by Jim's mother. My mouth dropped open, there she stood in a tight red leather skirt with a low cut black lycra tight fitting top offering a good view of her cleavage. Make up was flawless and her blonde hair shone in the light, she perched on top of what must have been three or four inch red stilettos. "Eh is Jim there" I stammered as my speech came back, "He's upstairs Colin, come in" as I stepped into the wooden floored hallway. Her heels clicked on the floor as she led me to the stairway. "Jim dear, Colin's here to see you, he's in the third door on the right at top of the stairs" she informed me as she walked towards the main lounge as I began to climb the stairs.

As I rounded the corner Jim stepped out of his room "Good to see you Colin, come on in" as he gestured me towards his room. As I walked in he gestured to a window settee and I went over and sat down. The next ten to twenty minutes we caught up with each others lives how my college course was going and his University studies were going all pretty general stuff really and not a hint of reason that Jim had so desperately wanted to talk to me about. After about half an hour I decided to try and raise the subject, "Jim you sounded really desperate to talk on the phone is there some problem you want to talk about" Silence descended and Jim looked decidedly awkward, "It's , well, It's kind of personal I've not talked to anyone about this and I need to tell someone. But you need to promise that you won't tell anyone about what I tell you. This is a really big secret so after I've finished you need to tell me something about yourself as well so that I trust you, Ok," he asked.

"Well I'm not sure that I have any deep dark secrets to tell you" I lied. "Look I need a drink before I tell you this, do you want one" Jim asked as he got up and headed for the door, "Yeah ok" I replied "Be back in a minute" he responded as he left the room. This was getting intriguing but what secret was I going to impart to Jim could I tell him about my little hobby. Deep inside I was desperate to share it with someone but it was a big risk. Mentally I decided to wait and see what his secret was before I decided if it was worthy enough to match mine !

A couple of minutes later Jim returned with a couple of cans of lager handing me one we cracked it open and sipped the cool liquid. "Right, you know I'm at University" "Yeah" I responded with a quizzical look. "Well I've not been doing too well on the studies front spending too much time socialising and not enough studying. So my dad found out about my grades and decided to do something about it. Most of all my English Law was suffering so dad arranged for some private tutoring with a retired lawyer in his fifties to help me catch up." Taking a drink he carried on "Well I've been taking private lessons for a couple of months twice a week and it has helped but just lately something happened which I never banked on and I'm no so embarrassed about and I cant tell my folks about it." Stopping he drew breath and carried on " Last week I had my mid –term exam in English Law and low and behold I passed with flying colours. I was so happy I just had to tell my tutor so I went round to his place to let him know how I had done. He was really pleased for me and cracked open a bottle of wine to celebrate, one bottle led to another and before we knew it we were just about finishing the third. Anyway I got up to go to the toilet and in my drunken state I fell on to the sofa beside my tutor" he stopped "Promise again you'll never tall anyone this" he asked again "I promise" I said. "Well when I fell I looked up and my Brian, that's his name and he had this weird look on his face , we just looked at each other in silence he smiled and then reaching forward he took my hand, before I knew where we were we were kissing passionately and then undressing each other an hour later we were in bed having had sex with each other," he stopped.

I hesitated taking in what he had just told me, "So are you trying to tell me you are gay" I asked "No , oh well I don't know maybe I'm just so confused. I've been with girls before but this was different it felt different maybe I'm bisexual." "So what's the problem with telling your folks" "You don't know my dad" he responded quickly "He's the most homophobic person I've ever seen. He would go apeshit especially since he knows this Brian personally and arranged the tuition." "Yeah I suppose he would, how about your mum" "Hell no she's almost as bad as him" "So what are you going to do, are you going to see Brian again" I asked. "Maybe, no , oh I don't know, so what do you think" he asked. "Well it makes no difference to me , you need to do what makes you happy. It's nobody else's business and I'll still be mates with you what ever you decide" "Thanks Colin he said standing up and squeezing my shoulder as he tossed his empty can in the bin. "I need another lager" he announced as he stepped out of the room. His revelation had made my mind up I could tell him about my hobby !

A couple of minutes later he returned with another can for him and one for me. "Well that's my skeleton out of the closet how about yours," he asked. "Eh well I don't know if you remember when we used to play Cowboy's and Indians in the Bluebell woods all those years ago." "Yeah that was fun seems so long ago now though" he replied. "Well do you remember the one time we were late and ended up as the squaws ?" "Oh yeah and that prick Robert tied us up in the tepee" "Yeah that's right" I said. "So what he went on you like getting tied up or something" "Well yes and no really, it's just that I like dressing up in women's clothes" there I'd said it finally admitted it to someone. He looked at me for a second "Yeah I can see you might quite pull that off you have the face shape and you are not that muscular so yeah that works" "So you don't find it strange" I asked. "Why would I we have a transsexual at University a bit butch looking but there an Ok person so if it works for you why would it bother me ? You told anyone else," he asked. "No you're the first." "You know I'd quite like to see you dressed up some time maybe we could arrange something" "Oh I don't know it's hard getting the free time with my parents around" "Well maybe you could come here, let me think about it." With that revelation over we spent the rest of the afternoon talking and reminiscing about our schooldays before it was time for me to leave, as I left Jim said "I'll call you soon" he said "Fine" I replied as I walked down the driveway. I walked away from the house a bit relieved that I had told someone else of my hobby but also a bit apprehensive if I had done the right thing, only time would tell.

  

  

  

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