The Scholarship

by

Julie O.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Five

Laura gave me a lift to see Jenny. Although she had a bit heavier schedule than I, Laura wasn't worried about her final exams. She didn't talk about it much, but her GPA was almost as high as Cat's. Laura said that she loved coming here because it gave her a chance to catch up on the scandal sheets.

Jenny and I focused a lot of our session on my emotions and adapting to them. Jenny was obviously still concerned about my reoccurring posttraumatic stress, especially with the increased emotional flow due to the hormones. She also told me to be aware of getting depressed following the surgery.

"It's very common for patients having surgery to get depressed. You're especially at risk due to the nature of your surgery. You know that you'll initially look pretty bad afterwards. It may bring back memories of your attack."

"I've thought of that. Dr. Ayres also told me that I might feel regrets. I promise to call you if I have problems," I replied.

"I've already called up Dr. Ayres and briefed him on your status. Your mom insisted that I do this, and she gave me permission to talk to him," explained Jenny.

I smiled. It was nice to know that I had so many people looking out for me.

On the way out, I told her about Sam and his dedication to his latest case. "I just wanted you to know that he thinks very highly of you."

"The feeling is mutual. It's wonderful having a DA who is so dedicated, especially when it comes to abuse and sexual assault cases. He's gaining a great reputation."

I felt a sense of pride as she praised my dad!

Laura stood up when we came out and handed me one of the papers. "Hi Jenny. Erika you have to read this one!"

Jenny said goodbye and left us alone.

I looked at the article. It was about one of the chimps at the San Diego Zoo. "Hey, this is about Pearl. She was the one Kristen and I did our science project on. She was on the Chimp Cam," I explained.

Laura smiled. "Wait until you read the rest of it!"

It went on to describe how a pet psychic claimed that the chimp used to be a human! The psychic went on to say that the chimp claims that it has memories of being in the navy, but that was all it could recall. Unfortunately, the chimp couldn't prove this to other people, since it couldn't read or write. The psychic also claimed that the process that was used to transform the man into the chimp apparently erased most of his memory.

I handed it back to her. "You know, for someone who has such a high IQ you sure read some garbage. This was worse than that magic slot machine!"

We headed over to Spencer's and some post-therapy cappuccinos. I gave up on the fruit smoothie for the evening. I desperately needed the caffeine. I also got a slice of key lime pie.

I told her about the changes in the contest and how there would be a category for girls next year.

"So, would you do it?" I asked

"No way. I like dressing up too much. So would you?"

We both started laughing.

"Alex's brother was at the meeting," I added.

"Maybe he was there to see you. The kid has a real crush on you."

"What?" I exclaimed. I took a sip of my cappuccino.

"Oh, Erika! It was so obvious at the Memorial Day barbecue. He kept staring at you like a little puppy. I think it's cute."

I thought back to the party at Alex's house. Nick had hung out around me a lot that day.

"He'll get over me," I smiled. I thought about his having felt so honored that I'd ask him to sign my yearbook. I guessed I should feel honored. "Well this is a first! I never thought I'd be the object of a high school crush."

Laura smiled and leaned over and kissed me. "Actually, I was first. I wanted you from the first day we met!" She had a twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face.

It was very difficult for both of us to go home, but there were finals in the morning. School can be very inconvenient at times!

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Six

I actually went home and studied that evening. I had my Child Development final in the morning. Mrs. Roberts had said that it would a 100 question multiple-choice test. I really didn't like multiple-guess tests, as I always seemed to read too much into the answers. I also had my Law & Enforcement final tomorrow. I had misread the finals schedule earlier, one of those 'blonde' moments. Mr. Kline said that the test would be half multiple choice and half essay. It was a pain having two finals back to back, but the good thing about it was that I only had one final after that. American Lit l was first thing Friday morning. Thursday would be a do nothing day since Photography and PE didn't have finals. I was worried most about the American Lit final, but I had a solid A going into the test. My Steinbeck paper had been very well received. My teacher had said that it was obvious that I was getting my work proofread now, as there were fewer errors in my writing. I noticed that she only said that there were less errors and not that it was error free!

I won't bore you with a test-by-test commentary, but I did pretty well on my finals on Wednesday. I scored a ninety-one on my Child Development final. I should have done better, but I thought too much on several questions and missed a few answers that I should have gotten right. I got a ninety-eight on the Law & Enforcement final! I aced the essay question, thanks to having the inside track. We had a choice of essay questions to answer and I'd selected the one that asked for a description of the criminal trial process. Sam would be happy! I only missed two multiple guess questions. Again, reading too much into the questions got me.

After finals most of us hung around school and signed yearbooks. I went by Ms. B's office and handed her my book. She wrote a very long write-up in my book.

"Here you go, Erika. It's been a real pleasure watching you bloom this year."

I read her write-up in my book. It was very emotional and personal. I felt tears forming in my eyes as I read it. They were the tears of joy you get when you know that someone close to you truly loves and supports you. I put the book down and hugged Ms. B for several minutes.

"Now it's your turn." She handed me a yearbook. "I like to keep one myself for all my favorite students and especially the contestants."

I sat down and tried to express my true feelings for her. She had helped me through some of the most trying experiences in my life and helped me to grow and discover my true self. I don't know if I truly expressed my feelings, but she seemed to approve of what I wrote. We hugged again and went through some more Kleenex.

I collected a few more faculty signatures before I caught up with Cat and Laura. The plan was to go home and study for a while and then go over to the pizza place for the little signing party.

I actually did some studying. I had a low A going into the final, and I really wanted it to stay that way. I really wanted to get straight A's for the semester. I'd never done that before, and I thought it would be a great graduation gift to Mom and Sam.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Seven

Around 5:00 Cat and Laura came over and we headed to Guido's. I'd been looking forward to this all day.

As we pulled in, we saw Caroline and Paul walking across the parking lot with Mike and Tracey. Alex and Kristen were already inside. There were some others from school there, mostly jocks, cheerleaders, and student government types.

As the "official good luck charm" of the football team, I was in high demand by the football players. I still find that thought amusing.

I really took my time writing my responses in the books of my closest friends. Those people had been there for me through some very trying times, and I wanted to tell them how much they meant to me. I noticed that my new emotional loosening allowed me to truly express my appreciation and love for these people.

Of all the ones I had to write, Paul's write-up was the hardest. I guess you never really get over your first love. Thankfully, we were still great friends, but I thought there would always be a feeling of "what if?" between us.

Laura's wasn't hard to write at all. The only problem I had was keeping it short and not getting too mushy.

I really took my time with Cat's write-up. I still had some feelings for her, but I knew that they'd never be acted on. What existed between us was deeper than just friendship, and I guess you could call us sisters.

Kristen did a great job in setting up the party and she ensured that everyone got a chance at all the books.

The second half of the party consisted of us reading the write-ups in our own books. Mike's was pretty good. He said that there'd always be a ticket for me at any game he was playing in. He's kept his word too, and that's how I ended up with forty-yard line seats for the last two Super Bowls!

I won't go into all the write-ups, but let's just say that I went through my share of Kleenex that night.

The party broke up around nine and we headed home. I felt a bit melancholy as I sat at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea. Mom and I were looking through the yearbook. Sam walked in and joined us; he was, of course, drinking his coffee.

"You'd feel better if you were drinking coffee!" His sly smile told me that he was trying to cheer me up.

"The concept of being totally at peace with oneself originated around a teapot," I responded with a smile.

"Where did that come from?" asked Sam.

"From a tea box," I replied.

"Ahhh… propaganda from the tea people," stated Sam as he started to laugh.

Our little tea-coffee banter cheered me up.

"Thanks. I was just a little sad over the end of school and the splitting up of my friends."

"It's all part of life. I think that you'll stay in touch with many of your friends," remarked Mom.

"I hope so," I answered.

Sam excused himself and went back to working on the case. Mom and I sat and continued looking at my yearbook. Mom was relaxed, as her classes were over for now. She wouldn't have another class until the fall and that suited her fine. It would be cool to be going to college with Mom. Granted, we wouldn't be in the same classes or anything like that, but still it was neat that we'd be able to tell people we were classmates!

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Eight

Thursday, as expected, was a breeze. Not having any finals was pretty cool. In Photography we showed each other our portfolios, a fun way to spend the period. I haven't talked much about my photographic skills, but I took a ton of shots during the school year. Sam took great joy in kidding me about my purse actually being a camera bag!

My other class that day was PE. Coach Chambers had us play volleyball while she signed our yearbooks. Thankfully, I'd "studied" for the final during the Memorial Day picnic!

I went home and studied for my American Lit final. I got in several hours of good studying while sitting out on the deck in my bikini. It was such a nice day that I'd decided to study while working on my tan. I also wanted to become more at ease in my bathing suit.

Work went very fast that night. Cindy kept Mel and I very busy the whole night. We spent a lot of time working on setting up new items. Mrs. Lincoln was starting to sell the fall line. It seemed strange that it wasn't even summer yet and yet we were selling fall clothing, but that's how the retail business works. I did get to see several of the items that I'd initially seen in NYC back in April.

Mrs. Lincoln mentioned to me that it was time for me to begin acquiring a few items with a more adult look, as there'd be more occasions in college where I'd want to present a mature and professional image. She pointed out a very stylish dark green business suit, with a slim, just-above-the-knee skirt and a smartly tailored jacket that could be worn either unbuttoned with a blouse or buttoned up without one.

"I think this would become you very nicely, my dear. It complements your hair perfectly," she stated. "What's more, it's very well made and is unlikely to go out of style. I'll put it aside for you, if you'd like."

I tried it on and liked the suit a lot. Mel said it gave me a really classy look. I thanked Mrs. Lincoln and said I'd definitely buy it. I still have it, and still get compliments whenever I wear it.

I spent a couple more hours studying before going to bed. I really wanted to do well on the final. I also thought about the senior picnic at the pool. I checked the weather on the late news and they said it would be the nicest day of the year, sunny and warm. So much for rain!

My American Lit final was difficult, but there was nothing unexpected. I'd correctly figured out the topics of the essay questions and I thought I'd written good answers. Jumping ahead, I got a 90 on the final and ended up with an A in the course! I only wished that I had been that focused academically earlier in my life.

As a TA I didn't have a final for Mr. Kline's class. Instead he put me to work grading his tests. The tests were multiple choice, so it wasn't difficult. I got a lot of tests graded for him and he was very grateful.

I caught up with Cat and Laura and we drove back to my house to get ready for the pool party. Cat and Laura had no problems changing in front of me. I was just another girl to them. They did pay attention to my breasts when I got undressed.

"You're really growing out nicely," remarked Cat. "You must be up to an A cup by now."

"I know. It's amazing how well they've grown. My doctor will be very pleased when he sees me at the end of the month." I picked up my bikini top and slipped it on.

"I'm impressed now," stated Laura with a laugh.

"Your girl friend is so oversexed!" noted Cat.

"You should know!" said Laura winking at me.

We all broke out laughing.

I did go into the bathroom to slip on my bikini bottom. I wasn't quite ready to do that in front of them.

I examined myself and saw that my maleness was sufficiently hidden. I was nervous that some idiot at the picnic would try to pull my suit down.

We finished packing up our beach bags and headed over to the pool. On the way over, I expressed my fears and Cat told me not to worry about it – it was taken care of. She didn't go into any details.

As we entered the pool area, Cat saw Kristen and Tracey and we walked over and joined them. Of course, Alex and Mike were there as well as Caroline and Paul. I decided to get it over with and took off my shorts and t-shirt.

Alex, Mike, and Paul all stared without saying a word. Kristen smiled and broke the ice. "Don't let these Neanderthals worry you, Erika, you look great. I really love your suit!" complimented Kristen.

That brought everyone back to normal and I soon felt at ease around them. I did notice Cat talking to Alex and he was nodding. He got up and walked over to see some of his friends.

"Alex is putting the word out that if anyone bothers Denise, Caroline, or you, they'll have to answer to the team. I wouldn't worry about anyone pulling your suit off other than Laura." Cat smiled.

"Hey, I heard that!" laughed Laura. She was smiling at me.

It did much to ease my anxiety.

The picnic was a great time. We had the whole pool to ourselves so we weren't bothering anyone else.

Denise showed up in a fairly normal bathing suit. I'd forgotten about all the tattoos on her body. I was still amazed that she was transgendered, but looking back, I should have seen it. However, I didn't feel too bad, as she had even fooled Sherlock Cat!

The picnic lasted all afternoon and into the evening. It was a great day and I was glad that I'd gone. The threat from Alex and the team apparently spread out to cover all the girls at the picnic, since no one had their suit pulled off.

We sat there talking about the remaining events in our high school careers. Monday we'd have graduation practice at the stadium. We'd also pick up our caps and gowns. Then that evening we'd have our senior night award/talent show. Graduation would be at 5:00 PM Tuesday, and then the parties would begin.

Laura said that the grad night at the school would be a great party. The school, parents, and local businesses had set it up, and it was designed to provide a safe place for us. It would start at ten and would last until morning. In addition to games, music, and free food, there'd also be plenty of excellent door prizes.

My little circle of friends planned to go to a party at Alex's barn then head over to the grad night party later on. I also thought about my upcoming dinner with Ms. B and hopefully getting answers to so many of my questions.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Twenty-Nine

Early Saturday morning, I was sitting out on the deck reading the paper. Sam and Mom were still asleep. I was glad that they were resting, as Sam had been working so late this week. It was nice to have a free weekend without any plans or problems.

I was surprised at how some birds would go to the feeder and not mind me being only twenty feet away, while other species wouldn't come close. The rabbits didn't seem to mind my presence, as long as I didn't move too suddenly. The squirrels were also oblivious to me.

I was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt. I was pleased with my tan so far. My legs were nicely tanned all over. Laura had suggested that if the weather was nice we should go to the pool again. Judging by the weather, it seemed like it was a great idea. I decided to go for a run, so I went upstairs to change. Actually, I was hoping Sam would be up so he could join me.

I switched to my running gear. I was starting to need the sports bra now, it no longer was just part of my disguise. I went downstairs and started on my warm-up stretches. Sam came down and asked me if wanted some company. I quickly agreed.

We stuck to the same route as we'd used the previous time.

"So, how do you feel about graduating?" asked Sam.

"Excited, scared, happy, sad – the usual range of emotions."

"Good. I'm glad to see that everything is normal."

I looked over and he smiled at me. I loved his smile. I started to giggle a little which can really mess up your breathing when you're running.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. So, have you and Mom decided where you're going on your honeymoon?"

"We've narrowed down our choices." We made the turn at the high school.

"Well, don't worry about me."

"Who?"

I glanced over and caught another smile.

"We know you'll be okay. Actually, we may delay the big honeymoon until next year. We're thinking of taking an Alaskan cruise next June. So, it looks like we might just take a long weekend trip to New York."

"That's cool."

"So, are you okay with the surgery?"

"A little worried."

"Just a little?"

It was my turn to smile back.

"Well, I'm glad you'll have Jill and your friends up there with you."

"I know you want to be there."

"Yes, I'd love to be able to go."

I got such a warm feeling knowing how much he cared about me.

"I know." We glanced over at each other and nodded.

"I'll be there when you have your SRS."

"Really?" I hadn't really thought about that. It was so cool that he wanted to be there.

"Sure. I wasn't there when you were born, so it'll be the next best thing."

I was speechless. Sam was likening my SRS to be being born. Maybe he was right? I was silent, thinking about it as we ran the last mile.

"Thank you. I love you, Dad." I was too choked up to say anything else.

He smiled at and me and gave me a hug. I didn't even mind the fact that we were both soaked in sweat.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty

Later that morning we were all out on the deck. Mom suggested that we go out to dinner that night just the three of us. It had been a while since we'd done something like that. Sam called in a reservation at one of his favorite restaurants. We had 7:30 reservations.

I told them that we were going to the pool and that I'd be home in plenty of time to get ready for dinner.

Laura came by with Caroline and Paul. We were soon joined by Cat and Matt, and we all piled into Laura's car. Matt had skipped the senior pool party to spent the day with Tom Bell at the police station. Sam had arranged it all.

The pool wasn't too crowded when we arrived, although they expected it to be full by mid-afternoon.

"Erika, I really appreciate your dad setting me up with the police yesterday. I learned so much. For a small town force, they are very modern. The officers I talked to give a lot of credit to your dad. They said that the DA's office insisted that they improve their processes," explained Matt.

"That's good to hear. So, when do you have to be down in Philly?"

"Wednesday. I'm looking forward to starting."

"Cat, are you going down there this summer?" asked Caroline.

"Yes, I'm heading down there sometime in late July for a week. I'll be looking for a place to stay for college, but I'll be back up here for the wedding," replied Cat.

"I can't believe we'll all be splitting apart in a few weeks," said Paul.

I know. I've only known you guys for less than a year, but I feel like I've known you my whole life," I confessed.

"Well, as Erika that's true," replied Cat.

In so many ways Cat was right, my life had started over when we came here. Sometimes you DO get a second chance.

The conversation ranged from grad night to our trip to NYC. Caroline was a little bummed out that she wasn't going. I told her that we'd have to go together some time in the future.

Matt then got a brainstorm. "Hey! You know how I told you once that my family goes over to the Jersey shore for a few weeks every summer? Well, I forgot to tell you that we actually own the house at the shore. I'll check with my parents and see if we can get it for sometime this summer. You could all come down and stay there. What do you think?" he asked.

We all thought it was a great idea. Cat however acted as the voice of reason, damn her!

"I seriously doubt if our families would allow us to be there unsupervised. They still see us as kids," reminded Cat

"I might be able to get my aunt to come down and act as a chaperone," offered Caroline.

"Well, let's see if we can get someone to 'watch over us' first," suggested Cat. "We can ask our families tomorrow afternoon."

I hoped we could pull it off, as I missed the ocean, even if it was the just the Atlantic!

Laura's parents were throwing a barbecue tomorrow and all of our families were invited.

"Even if we can't do it this year there's always next year," added Matt. "It will be a standing invitation."

The rest of the afternoon was very relaxing. We left around 4:30 and they dropped me off at my house. Laura said that she'd see me tomorrow and we kissed goodbye.

I went upstairs and took a long shower to wash away the smell of chlorine. I also rinsed out my suit and hung it up. My hair was getting lighter and my skin darker. My tan line was very distinct now. I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. With the exception of my maleness, I looked like a girl. When I covered it up, there was no doubt that I was a girl. I wished that my surgery this coming week wasn't on my nose but the 'nip & tuck' on my maleness.

I grabbed a short nap before getting ready for dinner. I decided that

I'd wear my black sleeveless dress. Mrs. Lincoln said that it was appropriate for all occasions. I wore a pair of gold hoop earrings and a plain gold chain. Simple but elegant, as Mrs. Lincoln said.

I went downstairs and joined Sam and Mom. They were both very impressed.

"Oh, honey! You look lovely," exclaimed Mom.

Sam stood there and smiled and nodded his head in approval. "Very nice, Erika."

We had a wonderful evening together. It was fun seeing the heads turn as we walked in. Sam was very well known in the community, and many were glad to see that he was settling down. Mom enjoyed the attention too. I was so happy that they were a couple. I was also proud to be their daughter.

Sam pointed out several lawyers and politicians in the room. Then I saw someone who I wasn't happy to see – Martin Turner. He walked over to our table. Actually a better description would be that he staggered over to our table.

"Hi Sham, how're you thish evening?" slurred Martin Turner. He obviously had been drinking. He stood between Mom and Sam.

"Good evening, Martin, I'm well thank you. I believe you know Jill and Erika," replied Sam.

"Yessh, of course. Congratulations on the engagement, Jill," he stated. He was very loud and people were staring at him. "How are you thish evening, Erika?" I could smell the alcohol on him as he leaned over to speak to me.

Mom just sat there seething.

"I'm fine thank you. I see you correctly remembered my name this evening" I replied. I was trying really, really hard to be pleasant. But my eyes gave away my true feelings. I also felt Mom gently kick me under the table.

"Well, I see that she still holds a grudge! … Sham, you should teach her some manners and teach her that I wash only doing my job. There'sh no reason to take what I said in court so seriously." He was having trouble standing steady, and he had to use the table to steady himself.

"I'd love to continue this, but your presence is upsetting my family, so why don't you leave?" asked Sam. He then smiled at Martin Turner. Then speaking softly yet firmly, "If you stay, I can't guarantee your safety."

"Ohhh… your family! Shome family! You know, I could take what you just said as a threat!" shouted Martin Turner, slurring his words. "Well… I can tell where I'm not wanted!"

With that he turned to walk away, but he tripped and fell flat on his face, taking down a serving cart of food with him. The staff immediately rushed over to help him up and assist him out of the restaurant. There was some applause as he was escorted out.

Sam was struggling to hold in his laughter. Mom was sitting there as if nothing had happened and went back to eating her dinner. I was happy that Martin Turner had left and that he'd made a public spectacle of himself, but I had the feeling that I'd missed something.

When we left, there were all sorts of smiles, winks, and thumbs up to us. Apparently, Martin Turner wasn't much liked by anyone in the community.

I noticed Mom and Sam giving each other looks.

"So, what happened back there?" I asked.

Sam started laughing. "Martin didn't fall on his own, your mother tripped him as he turned to leave!"

"Really? That's so cool, Mom!" I broke out in a huge smile.

"I don't know what Sam's talking about," proclaimed Mom, all innocent.

Sam and I looked at her and began to laugh.

Mom couldn't keep her face straight, and she soon was laughing too. "I'm sorry, but that SOB had it coming!"

It might have been wrong, but we laughed the whole way home.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-One

Sunday was my last day at work for a while. I was called back into Mrs. Lincoln's office for a little talk. Mrs. Lincoln said that my return date would be a group decision.

"This will be more painful that you may imagine Erika and I'd rather you take some time off and then come back at 100%," suggested Mrs. Lincoln.

"I understand." Hey, it was better to agree than argue a point I had absolutely no chance of winning.

"Good. I'm pleased to see that you know what battles to fight and when to concede defeat. Trust me, young lady, I am only concerned about your well-being," replied Mrs. Lincoln. She had a slight smile on her face.

I was beginning to wonder if she could read my mind! "I know that. I'd like to say something to you; I really appreciate everything you've done for me this year. I've learned that just because someone is related to you that doesn't mean that they care about you. I've also learned that total strangers can one day become closer than you could ever imagine. I feel that way with my dad, and I feel that way about you. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I see you as my grandmother." I hoped that she didn't take this as an insult. I hoped that my words were adequate.

"That's a very lovely thought. I am very fond of you too. When Nancy initially brought you to my attention, I saw something in you that was special. You will accomplish some wonderful things in your life. I like to say that what I'm doing is giving you guidance and a jumpstart. The rest is up to you. As for you thinking of me as a grandmother figure, I guess that's acceptable, although I don't see myself as the right age quite yet." She actually laughed slightly!

There were things I wanted to ask her about but knew not to ask. I was content to be given some more insight into everything that had happened this past year. "Thank you, Mrs. Lincoln." I could tell that she was moved by my confession.

"Now, I understand Anthony will be picking you and your entourage up on Thursday morning. You must have made quite an impression on him, as he insisted on personally driving you to and from the city. Here is my cell phone number. If you have any problems you are to call me immediately."

I smiled. I liked the way she made her help "an order," any other way would have been out of character. "I will. Thank you again."

After we closed, Cindy and Mel called me to the back room.

"I have a little gift for you in honor of your impending surgery," announced Mel, as she handed me a wrapped box.

I took the gift and unwrapped it; inside was a Mrs. Potato Head toy. We all broke out laughing. "Thank you so much."

"I figured that it might help you select your nose," Mel informed me.

"I'm glad you didn't say 'pick my nose'," I quipped. That caused another round of laughter.

"On the more serious side, we'd like to give you this as a graduation present," added Cindy. She handed me a small box.

I opened it and found it contained a pair of diamond stud earrings. I was overwhelmed by their generosity.

"They're beautiful, but you shouldn't have." I could feel my eyes tearing up.

"Don't worry about it, we used our mall employee discount," Cindy replied with a smile on her face.

"Thank you very much!" We all hugged. I immediately changed my earrings. They did look lovely. "So, what do you think?" I stood there modeling their gift.

"Very nice, Erika," replied Cindy. Mel stood there nodding in agreement. Both of them were smiling.

"I really don't deserve friends like you two!"

"That's true, but you're getting there," smiled Mel. We hugged again.

I asked if they wanted anything from NYC. Cindy joked that a cheesecake would be nice. I told them I'd see what I could do. I couldn't wait until I could start working again. I'd miss working with them.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Two

I got home and Mom and Sam were both very impressed with my earrings. I also showed them my Mrs. Potato Head which they both thought was hysterically funny.

"We're heading over to Laura's house in a half an hour, so you have time to change," reminded Mom

I changed into a floral skirt and a matching cotton top. Naturally I was wearing sandals! I kept my new earrings in to show Laura and Cat.

I was glad that Laura's parents had become friendly with Mom and Sam. I also liked the fact that they were becoming more accepting of Laura being out. I still felt Laura's mom wasn't sure of me yet.

We brought a huge tossed salad to the party. Mom had made her "secret recipe" salad dressing that had always been my favorite. It was like a vinaigrette, but made with fresh squeezed orange juice and just a hint of garlic.

The Adams had invited nearly twenty people for the barbecue. I was pleased to see Paul and his parents. Caroline was with them, along with her aunt. Apparently her parents were still working out their issues with her. It was their loss because Caroline was such a great person. Apparently the groundwork I had laid with Paul's parents had carried over with Caroline. Paul told me that she'd become one of the family.

Paul's parents saw me and greeted me warmly. "How have you been Erika?" asked Paul's father.

"I'm doing well, Mr. Brady, thanks for asking." I then received a hug from Mrs. Brady.

"Paul told us that you're going to New York this week for surgery. I want to give you our best wishes," Mrs. Brady replied

"Thank you, that means a lot!" I responded.

I slowly made my way through the adults then eventually escaped and joined my friends out in the back yard.

"Hey, she made it through the gauntlet!" announced Laura, who came over and gave me a kiss.

"I don't mind that much; it does show that they accept me," I replied

"Oooh, new earrings! When did you get those?" asked Cat

I went on to tell them about the gifts from Cindy and Mel.

"Damn! I wish I'd thought of the Mrs. Potato Head!" stated Paul.

"There, there, Paul," comforted Caroline, "you can't be the only one in town with an immature sense of humor."

We all started laughing. It felt very good to just hang out with friends and not worry about the future.

"Where's Matt?" asked Laura.

"He's talking to Sam. He's getting some contacts in the Philly PD," answered Cat.

We talked about bringing up the idea of the trip to the shore later on. Cat said that Matt's family had said that we could use the house the week before Labor Day. That worked well for everyone's schedule. It was after the wedding and two weeks before Cat's classes started. She had the earliest starting classes. Caroline's aunt Kathy said that she'd be able to chaperone us. She was twenty-six and she worked at the same computer company as Mom and Terri in a different department. Kathy was a programmer, but she knew both Terri and Mom.

We decided to present the idea all at once and go for a consolidated attack, hoping to win them over before they could plan a coordinated defense.

Matt came over and joined in our discussion. He said that the house had four large bedrooms and was within walking distance of the beach.

We continued our planning and worked up answers to their possible objections. After dinner when everyone was relaxed, we sprung it on them.

We let Cat be our spokesperson, and she did a pretty good job. At least no one was totally against the idea. Sam and Mom didn't see a problem, as long as Kathy was with us. Terri also had no problems with the idea. She vouched for Kathy to the other parents. Paul's father had a few questions, but he then went along with those voting for the trip. Paul's mom thought it would be a wonderful time. Laura's mom wanted to know the sleeping accommodations but when she heard that the couples would all be separated, she reluctantly agreed. Mr. Adams had no problem with the idea and said that he totally trusted Laura and me.

I think we were a bit disappointed that we didn't have a chance to use all our well worked out arguments in favor of the trip. We were started to see that our families were beginning to see us as adults.

We thanked them all and then we left them to go and start the planning

"Well, that caught me off guard!" exclaimed Paul

"Yes, just when you think you've got them figured out, they go and surprise you!" added Laura.

That brought on some more laughing. We spent the next hour talking about the week. It would be a nice way to end the summer.

"By the way, Kristen asked me to remind you guys about breakfast tomorrow. She's getting a bunch of us together at the pancake house before graduation practice," said Cat.

"Sounds good, what time?" asked Paul

"She wants us there around 8:30," added Cat.

We all agreed to go. Graduation practice started at 10:00 and was supposed to be over by noon. The award night wasn't supposed to start until 5:00. Laura whispered to me that we could make up for lost time this past weekend!

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Three

Breakfast was a blast. Fortunately the breakfast rush was over by the time we got there, and they were a bit more tolerant of a large, loud group of high school students than they might have been if we'd gotten there earlier.

I was developing a little problem, a nice one, but a problem nevertheless. My breasts had grown to the point where my bras were a bit too small when I also used my boob pads. However, my bras were still too big and loose without them. I was showing cleavage for the first time in my life! Laura and Cat found this very amusing and told me that at the rate I was growing I could ditch the pads soon.

I had to admit that I did like the looks and the attention that I was receiving. It also made me feel more secure, knowing that it made me look more like a natural born female.

One of the nice things about going to breakfast with our group was that no food went to waste. Alex and Mike were training heavily and had huge appetites. They ate everyone's leftovers. Kristen joked that it was better than having a dog.

I was looking forward to going to some of their games this year. Sam was a big football fan and between us, we were working on Mom to join us on some road trips to see some games. If she didn't want to go to the games, that was fine, but we at least wanted her to join us on the trip down to state. She said she'd think about it.

Practice was organized confusion at best. We would be going up in alphabetical order. I'd be one of the last ones to get their diploma. Our graduating class would be right around 600 students. The exact number wasn't out yet, as a few students' grades were still in question. Cat had just missed out on being the class valedictorian. She didn't mind, as she didn't want to give a speech anyway. Laura, being class president, would have to make a speech and she was looking forward to it. Laura was born to be a politician and she loved being in the spotlight.

After the practice, we went to pick up our caps and gowns. The school had shifted to basic black a few years ago. The tassel was in the school's colors, a mixture of silver and red threads with our class year on it. We were told not to mark our outfits in any way, unless we wanted to pay for them. Thankfully, they'd all been pressed by volunteers, so we wouldn't have to worry about that. I thought it was ironic that the gown was a unisex garment.

After dropping Cat off, Laura and I went into my house and went upstairs to my room. At least she waited until I hung up my gown before pulling me to the bed! She unbuttoned my top and slipped it off. My bra and boob pads soon joined it on the floor. Laura then slowly removed her top and bra. She then pulled me close and we began to kiss. I felt her hand on my nipples, gently rubbing and massaging them. The sensation drove me crazy and I returned the favor. She then slipped down and began to kiss and lick my nipples. I was on my back and she was lying next to me, her tongue flicking at my very hard and erect nipples. The sensations of pleasure she produced in me drove deep down into my body, causing me to tremble in excitement. She seemed to know exactly how fast and where to touch and lick to drive me wild.

She then guided my head down to her breasts and I repeated the moves that she'd just taught me. I learned that gentle works better than hard and that pleasure didn't need to be fast.

She then slowly brought me back down and then we lay together in each other's arms. I felt so relaxed after coming down from the high she'd given me.

"How was that, my love?" she whispered in my ear.

"Incredible. I never knew it could feel like that," I responded. I cuddled up closer to her.

"That was just the next step. I have so much to teach you."

We just lay there for a long time holding on to each other. It was a very sharing moment and it didn't need conversation or questions. Laura was exposing me to another side of my growing femininity.

"You made the right decision, Erika, you really are a girl," announced Laura as she got dressed. "Your responses are so feminine."

"Thanks. It all feels so natural."

"So, no desire to pull out your maleness?"

I picked up a pillow and threw it at her, which started a five-minute pillow fight that left us laughing hysterically on my bed.

Laura needed to go home to change before senior night. She said that she'd come by around 4:30 to pick up Cat and me. We kissed goodbye and I watched her drive off.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Four

I showered and changed. I selected a green summer dress. I was just about dressed when Cat called. She asked if she could come over and wait with me. Of course I said yes.

Cat looked very nice, she was wearing a red and white summer dress. We grabbed a couple of sodas and then sat out on the deck to enjoy the afternoon sun.

"So have you and Laura talked much about the upcoming separation?" asked Cat

"No, not really. I don't think that either of us wants to think about it," I replied.

"I know how you feel. It's very hard being in a long distance relationship."

"So, how do you and Matt make it work?" I took a sip of my soda.

Well, e-mail helps. It's nice just being able to trade messages. Matt also phones me at least once a week. I think we make it work because we're so honest with each other."

"That makes sense."

"I've known Laura my whole life, and I can tell you that you can trust her. If she decides that she wants to see someone else, she'll tell you first."

"I know. I want to be equally honest with her, not that I'm planning on messing around on her."

"I know you won't, Erika. That's why I think you two make such a great couple. I loved my little fling with her. It taught me a lot about myself. I'm also glad that we've remained friends."

"Did you know that she wanted to date me?" I asked.

"Yes. We talked about many things when we were together. You fascinated her from the moment she met you in school. She really thought you were a girl, and I had to set the record straight."

"I see. So when did you know that I was TS and not just dressing to get the scholarship?" I asked

"I suspected right away, but I wasn't positive until that first football game and saw how you reacted to being attacked. It was very clear that you were a girl, no matter what your body was like."

"Mom said she knew the first day I dressed," I replied.

We both sat there silent for a moment.

"Do you still consider yourself bisexual?" asked Cat, breaking the silence.

I thought about it for a second. "Yes, I suppose I do. Sexually, I am female. I can't even imagine trying to be sexual as a male."

"That makes sense. So, do think you could have sex with a guy?"

The nice thing about our relationship was that we had total honesty.

"I have to admit that I'm a bit curious about it. I want to know what it feels like when it's with someone I want to be with. I don't consider what Jason did to me to be sex. I'm not looking or anything, just curious."

"That makes sense. Just be careful when you do it; be sure it's a partner who you can trust."

"I will; it's not like it's going to happen anytime soon," I replied, "at least, not until after I've had my SRS."

"I think you should explore your sexuality. As much as Laura and you make a wonderful couple, you looked pretty happy with Paul."

"I know. Our relationship was another casualty of the assault. I wonder sometimes what might have been, but then again, we've remained friends, and he and Caroline really seem to be in love."

"It's okay to have regrets, you're only human."

"Thanks. I don't know how I could have made it through this year without your help."

She smiled and reached over and took my hands in hers. "The way you successfully overcame so much this past year has been an inspiration to me. I want to thank you for that."

We said there looking at each other and holding each other's hands. It was a very special moment that further bonded our friendship.

We were snapped back into reality by the doorbell and the sound of Laura's voice. "Hello!" announced Laura.

We smiled and got up to join her.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Five

I was impressed that almost the entire senior class and most of the faculty showed up for senior night. Laura was one of the MCs so Cat and I sat down together with Kristen, Alex, Tracey, and Mike. Cat told me that Paul and Caroline were part of the program.

The first part of the evening was filled with students getting a variety of awards. They ranged from high GPAs to perfect attendance. Everyone was totally blown away when the award for the greatest improvement in GPA went to Denise! They also announced the spring sports awards. The next part was announcing the winners of various scholarships and academic awards. They called out each name and the stage crew put a spotlight on the winners. Cat and Laura were both called up for being awarded full academic scholarships. They also had our athletes who had won scholarships stand up. That group included Alex, Mike, and Rachael. Then they called out my name along with Denise and Caroline as finalists for the scholarship competition. It was pointed out that we'd have to show up at graduation in order to win. That caused some laughter. By now everyone in our class knew that all three of us were TS.

After a bunch of other awards, they got to the fun stuff. They announced the real senior class awards. Paul was named as the class clown. That was a shock! Kristen and Alex won most popular, again no surprise. Cat won for being seen as most successful after graduation. I couldn't argue with that. Mike and Kristen won for the students most likely to become famous. Alex was a bit pissed over that choice. They went through a whole bunch of those. Some were very funny and others were very complimentary. Laura and Alex won as best leaders. I was stunned when they called my name out as most inspirational. I'd never seen myself as an inspiration to others. I was just trying to survive.

Thankfully, they didn't linger on those. There was a short musical break. They had some of the best musicians play together on the stage. I was pleased to see Charlie up there playing the piano. He started off playing classical and then shifted to more modern songs. Someone in the audience yelled out, "You rule, Schroeder!" referring to the cartoon character, and without missing a beat Charlie went into "Linus and Lucy" from the Peanuts cartoons. He got an instant standing ovation. I was so happy for him! It was one of the highlights of the evening.

However, THE highlight of the evening was the PowerPoint presentation from Paul and Caroline. They had created a hysterical presentation that showed many of us at our 20^th reunion. They showed a photo of the person then there was a cartoon drawing of them at the reunion. No one was spared in their show. In the spirit of the evening no one took what they'd seriously, and we all joined in the joke. None of the depictions were mean spirited.

They covered many people in our class and I'll try to describe some of them. I was laughing so hard at most of them that it's hard to remember them all!

They showed a photo of Alex playing QB. Then they cut to a slightly overweight Alex in the TV booth at a football game. The commentary reported that after a career in football he'd made the switch to TV commentator. They noted that he was slowly growing into both the legacy and extra large suit of his mentor, John Madden.

Mike wasn't spared either. They noted that after a successful career in the NFL he skipped the chance to join Alex in the TV booth and instead became an action movie star. They said that he specialized in making films that never did all that well in the theater; but got lots of airplay on FOX at 2:00 AM. The picture showed him swinging through a glass window on a rope with a rocket launcher under his arm.

Laura was shown as a future United States Senator and future presidential candidate. They said she'd be running on a platform to end "idiotic meetings just for the sake of having meetings"! I guess her complaints about so many meetings had been noted. Laura laughed hardest at that one.

Next, they showed a photo of Denise playing the drums for The Downfall. That got a lot of cheers, as the band had become very popular. The drawing showed her as a conductor. Of course, she was shown wearing a leather tux. They said that she was leading a successful thirty-city tour with her orchestra and their tribute to the Ramones.

Cat wasn't spared either. They showed her photo and told how she was going to college to study criminal investigation. The drawing showed her with the title "CSI Golden Hill" above her. The show was the 220^th edition of the successful series and followed the real life adventures of Cat as she tracked down criminals.

Caroline and Paul even poked fun at themselves. They started a promising career in cartooning that ended when they both had a massive case of writer's block. The commentary stated that this didn't stop them from being successful in the comic industry. Their cartoon showed them as clerks in a comic book store.

They received a large ovation from the class when they finished. Caroline later told me that every idea that they'd had for me was too much of an inside joke and could have been taken the wrong way. I appreciated their concern, but I still would've liked to see how they'd roast me.

The rest of the evening was filled with other performances and musical acts. They ended the evening with a slide show set to music. It was a visual history of our class with an emphasis on our senior year. It lasted nearly twenty minutes and it brought back so many memories. It was all very moving as we watched the images on the screen. There were candid shots taken at school and off campus. The music was perfect. The team that put it together did a great job.

I was glad that the lights were off as my emotions were very loose. When they showed a picture of the banner and me when I came back after the attack, I let my tears flow. I was also hit by the cheering and applause that happened when they showed it. I felt Cat's hand take hold of mine.

I was also happy that the presentation lasted twelve more minutes so I could regain my composure. When they were done they announced that copies of the slide and the Power Point shows on CDs were available for $5.00 after in the lobby afterwards. I definitely wanted a copy of it, as it was a nice complement to the yearbook.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Six

Our group got together at Guido's after senior night. Paul and Caroline gave out the original cartoons to those who'd been roasted. They also had caricatures of the rest of us. It was a nice touch.

We sat and talked about how good a job they'd done with the whole show. We also talked about graduation and our plans afterwards. We already had each other's e-mail addresses, and we all promised to stay in touch. Alex reminded us about the 4^th of July party at the barn. He said that both he and Mike would be back up here for it. I also reminded everyone about Mom's wedding and reception.

We sat in there until they closed. No one wanted to leave. I guess we all wanted to stay together just a bit longer. We stood out in the parking lot and hugged and kissed and cried. Yes, we'd see each other tomorrow and at future events, but this was the last time we definitely knew that we'd all be together. We all knew how important we were to each other. Even today, I get a bit emotional thinking about it.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Seven

I actually slept in Tuesday morning. I figured that I wouldn't be getting much sleep during the next twenty-four hours, so I might as well sleep when I could. When I finally got up it was almost 9 AM. I decided to get in a run, since it might be my last chance for a while to run my neighborhood route.

As I ran, I thought about the previous night. The feeling that we'd had in the parking lot after Guido's closed still gave me a warm rush. I also thought about the surgery. I wasn't really afraid, just deeply concerned! I had no doubt that Dr. Ayres was an excellent surgeon. I'd found several articles on him online and they all considered him to be one of the best. I think it was just the normal anxiety that one got before any sort of operation. I smiled and wondered if I was this nervous before getting my nose worked on, then how bad would I be before my SRS or my penis inversion, as Laura called it.

I also thought about Laura and the last time we'd been alone together. I was blown away by the new sensations she'd introduced me to. The feelings were so deep. It really confirmed that this was the right thing to do.

As I continued my run, I became more aware of my breasts. True, they weren't very big yet, but I could feel them bounce as I ran. There was no way I could run without a bra now.

I arrived home after working up a great sweat. As I did my cool down, I walked around the yard. The bush was doing very nicely. It was in full bloom and there were even some new shoots. I loved that it was transforming a place of violence into a place of life and growth.

I went in and showered.  The water felt very good as it hit my nipples. The combination of running and the rubbing in my bra had already left them a bit stimulated. The shower just finished the job. I was so glad that I had one of those massage showerheads!

Part of me was still worried about being made as a male. I know that was stupid, but it was a concern. We are always more critical about out own appearance than others are. I saw every defect and masculine trait, even if no one else did! I don't think that I've ever completely lost this concern, even though I've been living as a woman for years. The little things helped me to ease my concerns and the tan lines were one of these little things.

I was also looking forward to having my breasts grow to the point where I wouldn't my need boob pads. I'd be very satisfied with a B-cup, although I hoped to reach C! It's funny; in school A's are a good thing.

I had a nice dress to wear that evening. It was sleeveless, and the floral pattern looked like it was from a Hawaiian shirt. The post graduation party's theme was a tropical luau, or at least a Pennsylvanian idea of what a tropical luau was like!

I basically took it easy the rest of the day until it was time to go to graduation.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Eight

Laura picked up Cat and me and we drove over to school to get ready for graduation. We were all wearing summer party dresses, so we could go right to the parties. Mom, Sam, Matt, and Terri were going together and were planning on sitting with Laura's parents. We'd selected a meeting place to have our pictures taken afterwards.

 

I felt I looked pretty good and even Laura admitted that my makeup was near perfect. We slipped on our gowns and adjusted our caps. Thankfully, it wasn't too hot. The faculty worked hard to get us all into correct order to walk out onto the field. Graduation was being held in the football stadium and we would walk in along the track and then take our seats. The stage was set up in the end zone.

We gave each other a quick inspection. It was finally here! Suddenly the line began to move and we were on our way.

It was all sort of a blur to me. I was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that I was about to graduate from high school as Erika Jean Warren. That name had been unknown to me a year ago, but now it was my identity, and I loved it! It also hit me that I'd just won a full four-year scholarship.

Thankfully at moments like that the body takes over while the mind is wandering. I have no memory of walking into the stadium or sitting down. My mind was rewinding the events of the past year and all I had been through. I got up and followed the person in front of me and walked up to the stage. I know I did this because I was snapped back into reality when I heard "Erika Jean Warren" being announced on the PA system. I received my diploma and broke out into a huge smile. My main goal was to make it back to my seat and not lose it emotionally! I looked down at my diploma and saw my name in Old English font. It was another of those real moments!

The ceremony ended and we tossed our caps up in the air. I quickly retrieved mine. I then sought out friends to congratulate, hug, and in some cases kiss. I worked my way through the crowd and found Cat and Laura. We had a big group hug and kiss.

Sam and Mom came over and we hugged and kissed. They both said they were so proud of me. We then posed for a series of photographs in our caps and gowns. I think Mom shot an entire roll of film of us afterwards.

Cat, Matt, Laura, and I then said goodbye and took off to go to Alex's party. We removed our caps and gowns and put them in the trunk. We had to return them tomorrow. However, we had a whole night of celebrating to go through first.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Thirty-Nine

Laura hung up her tassel on the mirror in her car. I hadn't made up my mind if I was going to do that with mine. I asked Cat and Laura what they remembered about the ceremony and like me, they barely remembered a thing! I was glad that I wasn't the only one who'd zoned out.

We arrived at Alex's and went through another round of kisses and hugs. Another sign that I was totally accepted as a girl was that the boys had no problem with kissing me. I was just another girl at the party.

I had several people that I wanted to thank that evening. I didn't want to risk not thanking them personally. The first person I found was Alex.

I walked over and gave him a hug and a kiss. "I just want to thank you for everything, you really helped me be accepted at Central!"

He smiled back. "It was a pleasure. At first, I did it because Cat asked me to, but as I got to know you, I was proud to be your friend. I think it's cool that you are finding your true self."

Kristen walked over and we hugged. "I was just thanking Alex for helping me so much this year, and I wanted to do the same with you. I know you had a lot to do with my being so accepted at Central. I really appreciate it!"

"I didn't do anything that special. I merely opened the door, you deserve a lot of credit yourself," replied Kristen modestly.

I smiled. I knew some of the things she'd done for me and suspected that there were many others things that I'd never know about. "Still, I want to thank you!"

I repeated this with several other people, including Mike, Tracey, and Rachael. I then ran into Caroline and Paul.

"I still can't believe we did it!" exclaimed Caroline and we hugged.

"Congrats, Erika!" added Paul and we hugged and kissed.

"It's amazing how fast the year went by!" I replied. "It sometimes feels like a dream."

I then found Cat, Matt, and Laura.

"It looks like we'll all be going to college now," announced Laura. "Now that your financial issues are solved."

"I still can't believe it. Last year at this time, I doubted that I'd be going to college and now I have a full scholarship!" I exclaimed.

"That, and a nicer wardrobe," added Laura.

I smiled and kissed her. "Don't forget all my wonderful new friends and family."

We talked for a while. Matt was heading back to Philly on Thursday morning. He had stayed a bit longer than he'd originally expected to. I could tell that he was deeply in love with Cat. Who could blame him?

Laura said that she'd have to go the graduation party at the school early. She was expected to be there when it opened. It would be her last duty as class president.

I rode over with her. Cat and Matt said they'd ride over with Paul and Caroline. I hoped that Caroline was driving her car, as I couldn't imagine all four of them in Paul's VW bug.

"So, was your senior year exciting enough?" asked Laura.

"I'd say so. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have gone through it without you," I replied

"I figure you would have managed. You're a survivor."

"Maybe, but it wouldn't have been as much fun without you."

"That's true!"

We sat there in silence for a while. I think we were both thinking about the upcoming separation.

"You know, it won't be that bad. We'll only be five hours apart by car," remarked Laura.

"I know. Still it won't be easy."

"No, it won't. That's for another day, we still have the rest of the summer to be together!"

"True, anything can happen. Who knows? Maybe you'll hate my new nose and want to break up with me!" I tried to add some humor to the situation.

"That's possible, I only love you for your nose!" quipped Laura.

We pulled into the parking lot and walked into the school. They had what looked like a carnival set up in the gym. The gym was decorated to look like a tropical playground. They even had fake palm trees! There was a DJ setting up in one corner. There was also a whole area set up outside with food booths and games.

"This must have cost a lot to set up," I stated.

"Part came from the senior class and the rest from the PTA and the local auto club. We also got donations from many local businesses," stated Laura.

We walked over to a table filled with all sorts of electronic goodies. There were stereos, CD players, digital cameras, and lots of other things.

"Are they really going to raffle all this stuff off?" I asked.

"Yep! Everyone who comes in gets one ticket. In addition to this stuff, they have a bunch of gift certificates for local businesses. I think we have almost 100 prizes."

"Impressive," I replied.

We walked around the gym and then outside to look at the various games and food stands. We found time to slip into the shadows for a quick kiss and cuddle!

"I know you'll be busy tomorrow between packing and the dinner with Ms. B, but I'd love to get alone with you for a while," confessed Laura.

"True, it will be your last shot at me with my present nose!" I answered with a laugh.

I won't bore you with everything that happened the rest of the night. The crowd was huge and many stayed until sunrise. I won a portable CD player! It would come in handy as I lay in bed for a couple of days following my nose job.

By the time we left, everyone was beat. Laura dropped us off at my house and we got our stuff out of her car. I kissed Laura goodbye and made her promise to call me when she got home. I went inside and after Laura called I went immediately to bed. I was surprised that I was able to fall asleep so easily!

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty

I didn't sleep the whole day. I was up by one and after lunch I drove over to the school to drop off my cap and gown. The school seemed strangely silent. There were a few teachers there, cleaning out their rooms. I didn't hang around very long.

I packed up my suitcases for the trip to NYC. I only needed nice clothes for a few days and I ended up packing much less than I did for the trip with Mrs. Lincoln. By the time I was done, Mom was getting home.

I went downstairs and told her about the last night's parties. She was glad that I'd gone to the one at the school.

"Tony called today, and he said that he'd be by at 8:00 to pick us up," stated Mom.

"Cool! Tony is really cool!"

We talked until Sam came in. He said that Martin Turner had called him and apologized for his behavior the other night. "Apparently, he has no clue about how he ended up on the floor."

"Did you tell him that he was looking for a rock to crawl under?" asked Mom.

"Hey, you're lucky I don't have to prosecute you for assault," joked Sam, breaking out in laughter.

Mom and I joined him. I'm not a violent person, but I felt Martin Turner deserved far worse than falling on his face.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-One

I drove over to Ms B's home. She lived downtown in an old mill building that had been converted into condos. She lived on the third floor and had a great view of the town and the park.

I got there first and joined her in the kitchen. I helped her prepare a chicken stir-fry.

"I took a course on oriental cooking last summer. It was something I'd always wanted to do," explained Ms. B. "By the way, since you're no longer a student at Central, you can call me Nancy now, even Ms. B sounds too formal."

"That may take some getting used to. Thanks…Nancy."

She smiled at me. "I have a feeling that we'll become good friends over the years."

"I have one question to ask before the others arrive, when did you know that I was TS?" I asked.

Nancy looked at me. "I suspected the first day we met, but I wasn't sure until after the initial Jason incident. Is that what others have told you?"

"Pretty much the same. I guess I was the last to know again."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Self discovery takes time," remarked Nancy.

Just then Caroline and Denise arrived. Nancy greeted them and told them the same thing about calling her Nancy.

Dinner was a very informal affair. We sat around her living room eating and talking. Nancy's stir-fry was excellent, better than most Chinese restaurants.

"So, tell us about the true purpose of the scholarship program?" I asked

"Jumping right to the big questions! As you've guessed, there is a deeper purpose than to just have some male students learn about the opposite gender."

We all nodded.

"The ultimate goal of the program was to teach tolerance and acceptance of diversity. As the contest progressed each year, the effects have spread out through the entire school and into the community. This year, due to some unforeseen circumstances, we reached out much further than we ever could have imagined," explained Nancy. "As horrible as the assault on you was, Erika, it did have a positive effect on the community. It showed the town that we could have diversity without anyone losing their values. Eventually, we want to spread the program to other towns."

"So everything that happened to me sort of sped up the process?" I asked.

"Yes, that's true. The scholarship committee had been very pleased with the progress we'd been making in the school. The contest had become mainstream, and the contestants were accepted by the rest of the student body and most of the town. We knew we were starting to make inroads into the community, but the whole trial and dealing with the Rev really moved up the timetable. I only wish that you, or any student, hadn't had to go through such horrible experiences."

"I'm glad some good came out of it," I replied.

"It's also obvious that you were prepared to help us as we came out as TS. Was that part of the program?" asked Caroline.

"The program wasn't designed to produce TS students, but we did realize that we'd attract students who might have gender issues. We made sure that services would be available. I know you're all seeing Jenny McCall now. The scholarship committee sought her out and helped her establish her practice here. We sought doctors who were open-minded towards gender issues. We also set up the loan program for SRS," explained Nancy.

"So, we're just a fringe benefit of the program?" asked Denise.

"I don't know if that's the right phrase, but helping people resolve identity issues is important. We didn't make you TS, but we provided you a safe environment to transition. Again, I want to apologize for the Jason incidents."

"You don't have to apologize," I stated.

We'll be screening the contestants more in the future. Jason should never have been allowed to enter. We are also discovering the need for more counseling for all the contestants. We learned a lot this year from the length of the contest, and we saw many things we could improve on. One immediate change will be that there will be weekly meetings starting the first week of school. We'll also do a one-on-one with each contestant weekly."

"You said that the addition of an FTM scholarship was planned for years, but you were waiting for us to go a whole year, why?" asked Caroline.

"We wanted to see how the class as a whole responded first. Again, with the exception of Jason, the overall response of your class was exceptional," stated Nancy.

"Will your job change have an affect on the contest?" I asked.

Nancy smiled. "Somewhat. I'll be moving up to Assistant Principal next year, however I'll still be involved with the scholarship program. We already have a new counselor coming in as my replacement. She was hired because of her background and training, In fact, she was a student here ten years ago."

"Is she like us?" asked Denise.

Nancy smiled. "No, she isn't TS."

"Too bad," stated Caroline, softly.

"Well, I think there may be a TS faculty member a Central someday," announced Nancy.

Caroline and Denise immediately looked at me.

"Erika, you'll get the highest consideration for any opening upon the completion of your degree and earning your teaching credentials. That is also part of the scholarship program. We don't stop helping you after you graduate. We keep an eye on those special people who show great promise. That includes all of you," continued Nancy.

"You said earlier that the scholarship committee wanted to spread out to other towns. So how much money does this group have?" asked Caroline

"A lot! The woman who set this up was extremely wealthy and very intelligent about finances. She set it up so that the fund grows every year. The three scholarships given this year don't even make a dent in the account. Additionally, other people have contributed to the fund. Our goal is to eventually spread out and set up similar scholarships in other communities. We've several towns in mind, and we should be able to get started in a year or so."

"Sounds like a big experiment," stated Denise

"In some ways that's correct. Our benefactor believed that society could change for the better. The scholarship program allows males and females to be more accepting and understanding of each other. This has a rippling effect across the community. We are far from done here in Golden Hill, but in less than twenty years we've made some great progress."

We stayed around and asked some more questions. I hung around until Caroline and Denise left, as I had a few more questions. There were some that were more private in nature that I wanted to talk about.

"Did you recommend me to Mrs. Lincoln," I asked as I helped her clean up.

"Not exactly, I did tell her about you when you were selected for the homecoming court. But it was strictly her decision to hire you," explained Nancy.

"I appreciate the good word you put in for me," I replied.

"She is really a good person and she was really hurt when my brother died. She was also very angry that he was driven to his death by ignorance. She became involved in the scholarship program as a way of helping to prevent any further tragedies," announced Nancy.

"Well, I really feel honored that she thinks so highly of me," I stated.

"I'm a bit jealous of you, Erika, as she wouldn't hire me to work in her store, and we're related!" joked Nancy.

We both started laughing.

"Look, Erika, I know you will have some more questions, so feel free to call me. We can get together and talk."

"Thank you Nancy!"

It was good knowing some of the answers about the scholarship program. I felt better about the future, now that I knew more about the past.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Two

I drove over to Laura's house. She was happy to see me and we went over to Spencer's.

"So, did you get all your questions answered?" asked Laura as we plopped down on the couch.

I took a sip of my cappuccino. "A lot of them. Nancy was pretty cool."

"Nancy? Hmmmm, so you are on first name basis now?" asked Laura.

"Sure, she sees me as a responsible young adult now!" I replied, tongue firmly planted in cheek.

"She's a minority around here," quipped Laura, trying to hide her smirk.

I mouthed 'smartass' to her.

"Unfortunately, my parents stayed in this evening. While they accept my status as an 'almost college freshman,' they would still freak if they knew I was taking you upstairs to make out," Laura confessed.

"Oooh, I have to use that one, an 'almost college freshman'," I said with a laugh.

"So, are you ready for the operation?" asked Laura.

"I guess so. I just wish it was over. I'm so sick and tired being reminded of what Jason did to me."

Laura leaned over and kissed me. I trembled slightly as her lips touched mine. We kissed for what seemed like minutes.

"That is so cool that you still have that little vibe when we kiss," cooed Laura.

"I hope that I never lose it."

Due to the lack of a make out place that evening we sat and talked a while longer in Spencer's.

We decided to call it a night and I drove her home. We kissed one more time and I watched her walk in.

As I drove home, I thought about how much I loved her. I also thought about how at this time last year I was angry that we were moving to 'a nothing little town in the middle of nowhere' and now I was legally Erika Warren and I had a lesbian girlfriend. I almost wished I could go back to my old neighborhood and hang out with Laura, just to see if anyone recognized me.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Three

Tony arrived around 7:30, and Mom invited him in for coffee. He smiled and said that never happened with Mrs. Lincoln.

"So you getting your nose operated on? You sure you don't want me to pass on some of the pain to you-know-who?" asked Tony. He had a sly smile on his face.

I was taking a sip of tea and almost spit it back up, as I watched Mom and Sam's reaction to Tony's remarks.

"Tony, this is Sam Warren, my dad and the town's DA." I announced, holding back a smile.

"No kidding? That's great. Hey, we're just joking here," backtracked Tony, taking a quick sip of his coffee.

"That's okay, I've sometimes wished there could be 'additional punishment'," added Sam. He then smiled at me and shook his head.

Laura arrived a few minutes later, followed closely by Cat, Matt, and Terri.

Tony grabbed our bags and soon had the limo ready to go. I have to admit that I loved watching the neighbors slow down as they drove by our house and looked at the big stretch limo in our driveway.

Matt and Cat had a tearful goodbye. It was strange seeing her so emotional. Mom and Sam also kissed goodbye. He also gave me a long hug goodbye.

"Call when you get in," ordered Sam.

"We will. I love you," replied Mom, as she got in the limo.

With those goodbyes, we were on the road.

I rehashed my dinner with Nancy. I did leave out some key points about the scholarship. They didn't need to know everything, and some things only ought to be known by the few TG/TS participants.

We had a long talk about what sights we should see. Tony said that we'd have a driver on call at all times, but he wanted to give us the fifty-cent tour.

"I thought I got that one already?" I asked with a laugh.

"No, you only got the ten cent tour," replied Tony

We discussed with him which things we should see each day. He suggested that we if we wanted to go out to the Statue of Liberty then we should do that on Friday and avoid the weekend crowds. Mom and Terri got in a long conversation on things to see and to avoid.

I talked with Cat and Laura for a while. However, I was overcome by my lack of sleep and soon dozed off.

I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up we were in New Jersey. Cat and Laura were getting more and more excited as we got closer to New York. I think I'd have been more excited except for the primary reason we were going there.

Our hotel was nice. We were in one of those suite hotels, and we had a little kitchen area. It wasn't a penthouse suite, but then again, Mom isn't Mrs. Lincoln! However, we did get a FOML (Friend of Mrs. Lincoln) discount. Apparently, the same people who owned the really nice hotel that we'd stayed in last time also owned this one.

We still had a view of the city. We had three connected rooms, so it was like staying in a very strangely shaped apartment building! There were three bedrooms, each with double beds. Mom and Terri took the middle bedroom, Cat and Laura took one, and I had a room by myself. Although, it really didn't matter, as the only times we were separate were when we were asleep. Actually, Cat and Laura were always with me, keeping an eye on me. I knew that Jenny had called Mom over the weekend and had a long talk with her. I had to admit that I didn't mind the added attention. I was a bit worried about the return of my posttraumatic stress.

The first night, we went to a small family-run Italian restaurant owned by friends of Tony. Our driver that night was Tony's cousin Nick. He was a lot like Tony.

The owners of the restaurant treated us like we were old family friends. Apparently Tony called ahead and told them we were FOML.

I'm sure that most of this special treatment was because of my association with Mrs. Lincoln. Still part of me thought that it might also have something to do with Tony liking me personally.

The dinner was wonderful, make that fantastic! I had the best Chicken Parmesan in my short life. The owners joined us for coffee and dessert. I mean nothing against Spencer's, but the cappuccino that night was ten times better. Maybe it was just the sense of excitement of being in NYC with family and friends! I really had a good time and it did a lot to take my mind off my worries.

I also enjoyed driving around in a limo. True, in NYC a limo doesn't attract as much attention as it would in Golden Hill, but it was still pretty cool.

Everyone went to bed early, a combination of being tired from the trip and the huge meal. I repeated my act of my last trip to the city. I made a cup of tea and sat looking out the window. Granted it wasn't as good a view but it was still pretty cool. I finally went to sleep. I'm pleased to say that I didn't have a single nightmare.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Four

Friday was our big "act like a tourist" day. We were also going to the Broadway show that evening, and then a late dinner. Saturday we were going shopping and Sunday was up in the air until Tony suggested that we go to Yankee Stadium. He said he could get us great seats. To my total surprise everyone thought that was a great idea!

I won't bore you with all the details, but Tony's fifty-cent tour was well worth every cent! We did go out to Statue of Liberty. He also drove us past other sites. Yes, we went to the top of the Empire State Building, I said we were in tourist mode! We also went by Rockefeller Plaza and the UN building. I was glad I'd brought my camera again.

The really funny thing was that Tony was really taking a liking to Terri. We all got a kick out of that, including Terri! She said that there was nothing wrong with a little flirting.

Tony had us back at the hotel in plenty of time to get ready for the show. He told us that Nick would be our driver again that evening, and that we had reservations at the restaurant near the theater courtesy of Mrs. Lincoln. I guess she was determined to make my trip as pleasant as possible.

It was fun getting dressed up for the show. I wore my little black dress and my new diamond earrings. I loved this! That's another huge change in my persona. I hated dressing up as a boy. I hated ties and jackets. At least a woman can get dressed up and still be fairly comfortable, except for the shoes. I have become convinced that a woman invented the necktie in revenge for a man creating high heels! I feel that I could be considered an expert on this issue.

The show was excellent. I could get addicted to seeing Broadway shows! Nick drove us the short three-block drive to the restaurant. As before, there was a long line to get in and the VIPs got to walk right by. It was fun walking by the people in line. We could hear them asking who we were.

It was pretty cool inside as well. There were many celebrities and we were all a bit star struck. I was so happy to be sharing this with Mom and my best friends. It was hard to eat, as there was so much going on around us. Because we were seated immediately, everyone obviously thought we were 'somebodies.' People walked by our table and nodded and acknowledged us, just in case we were important.

But the biggest thrill that night was when the actor friend of Mrs. Lincoln recognized me; it was either that, or Mrs. Lincoln had tipped him off and he came over as a favor to her. Either way I don't care!

He even remembered my name and I introduced him to Mom, Terri, Cat, and Laura. He talked to us for a few minutes and then left. Even Cat was impressed! It was another great day.

Back at the hotel, I joined Cat and Laura to watch some late night TV. We were all in our pjs by then.

"I still can't believe that he came over to our table and said hello to you!" exclaimed Laura.

"If I hadn't been there, I'd never have believed it," added Cat.

"I was there and even I'm not sure it happened!" I added. "I'm so happy you two are here with me."

"We don't mind being on the Erika surgery tour of America. Just make sure you pick somewhere fun for your SRS!" replied Cat.

"Well, at least this time you won't be sleeping in a waiting room," I added

There was a long silence.

"I can't tell you how much you being there meant to me." I could feel my emotions pick up a notch.

"We know," replied Laura.

"Still, I like telling you.." I could feel my eyes watering up. "I was so scared," I added softly, with that I started to cry.

Cat and Laura hugged me. "If it makes you feel better, we were all pretty scared too," added Cat.

I felt better after my soft cry. It was nice being able to show emotion and not worry about what others may think. I think that's one of the biggest drawbacks of being male.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Five

Saturday was a shopping day. This was another change in my persona. I actually enjoyed going shopping now. It was also fun going shopping as a group. We didn't buy much, but we had a great time. We did stop at Undercover Elegance. Mom wanted to get something special for her wedding night. Bridget was very nice and helped Mom pick out a luxurious silk nightie and a matching peignoir.

Sunday, we went to the Yankees game. We invited Tony to join us and he gladly accepted the invitation. Tony got us great seats. Terri sat next to him. They were really becoming friendly. It was wonderful sitting outside on a nice afternoon.

I bought a program and scored the game as we watched. I enjoyed keeping track of the plays, and it made a nice history of the game. My scoring the game caught the attention of some of the guys sitting around us.

"You know, you're first girl I've even seen who could score a game!" interrupted a large man behind us.

"I enjoy doing it. Besides it isn't very hard," I replied

"Tell that to my son!" joked the man with a laugh. "So, who taught you to score a game, your dad?"

"Nope! My mom taught me!" I replied with a big smile. While Mom wasn't a big football fan, she did love baseball and we had gone to a lot of games back in San Diego.

"I'll be dammed!" he exclaimed and then he started to laugh.

The game was very exciting and the Yankees won 6-5 with a 9^th inning rally. I'm not a Yankees fan, but it would be suicidal to cheer against them in Yankee Stadium!

Tony drove us back to the hotel and said that he'd be there at 5:00AM to take me to the hospital. I ate an early dinner, as I had to stop eating by 7:00 PM. I told the others that they could go out, but they elected to stay at the hotel with me.

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Six

Monday morning came quickly. I got up and showered and put on comfortable clothes. There was no need for makeup. I packed my small bag. All I needed was panties, bra, pjs, toiletries, reading material, my CDs and player. I also packed up the rest of my stuff and moved it into Mom and Terri's room. There was no need to be paying for an empty room!

We arrived at the hospital and checked in. I changed and waited for Dr. Ayres. Of course, there were numerous forms to sign and the nurse took my vitals several times. Dr. Ayres showed up and examined my nose again. He said that the surgery would take a couple of hours. He gave me a choice of a local or being out. I picked being out!

"How long will I be here?" I asked

"I'd like you to stay at least one day, maybe two. I'll know more after the surgery," explained Dr. Ayres. "I doubt you'll be wanting to go anywhere."

He was right. When I came to after the surgery, my whole face hurt. The pain radiated out from my nose. I was lying down with my head elevated.

 

As I regained focus, I could see Dr. Ayres examining me.

"Everything went really well," he announced.

"How long was I out?" I asked. I felt slightly nauseous.

"The surgery lasted just under three hours," he replied.

"How bad do I look?" I asked.

He handed me a mirror. "The swelling and bruising will improve in a week to ten days," he informed me. "But, just so you'll know, like before, the bruising will get worse before it starts to improve."

I looked at myself in the mirror and to be honest I have looked worse! I thought about the range of colors on my face the last time. At least I'd save money on makeup the next few weeks.

"It hurts worse than when he broke it initially," I stated.

"That's true. He only hit you a couple of times. I had to break some bone to reshape it. We'll be giving you a prescription to ease the pain. Trust me, it will start to feel better soon."

The nurse brought Mom in and he explained the precautions and things to look out for. The nurse gave me some pain pills and I drifted out.

Later that evening, I woke up and saw Mom sitting in my room reading.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Mom looked up and smiled. She looked at her watch. "It's almost 7:00 PM and, yes it's still Monday."

I tried to manage a smile. "Thanks for being here. I know I'm not much to look at."

"I've seen you look worse." She got up and walked over to me and took my hand.

"I think I'll stop at just one of these, unlike that singer," I quipped, with a slight smile.

Mom smiled.

"So where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Terri took them to dinner. They should be here soon," answered Mom

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

"They're bringing me something. Are you hungry?" asked Mom

"Not really, but I am thirsty."

The nurse brought in some water in a sports bottle with a straw. My stomach was still a bit unsettled, so eating wasn't a priority.

"Did you call Dad yet?" I asked.

"Yes but he said to call back if you felt like talking." I noticed Mom smiled when I called Sam, Dad!

We didn't talk long. He was happy that I'd come through the surgery without problems. I was happy just to talk to him.

Just then Cat, Laura, and Terri came in. We talked for a few minutes and then I drifted out again.

I wound up staying in the hospital for two days. By Tuesday afternoon Dr. Ayres was satisfied and said I could go home the next day. I looked worse, but had much less pain. It was centralized in my refurbished nose.

"You'll need to have the sutures removed next week. I've contacted a colleague near your town, and he'll do that," he informed me. He handed the information to Mom. "I'd like to see you again in a couple of months."

We decided to leave in the morning. I spent Tuesday night in the hospital. It was just easier than going back to the hotel. In addition to my friends and family, Tony came up to see how I was doing. He asked me if I wanted anything.

"Well, I did promise a cheesecake for my co-workers at Mrs. Lincoln's store, is there any way we could take one back?" I asked

He smiled. "Leave it to me, kid. See ya in the morning."

I slowly regained my appetite. Eating was bit difficult, as chewing caused some pain in my nose. Dr. Ayres also advised me not to eat anything spicy, as he didn't want me to irritate my nose or to have to blow it. There was a good deli nearby. and Mom brought me up some chicken noodle soup and a container of a really delicious rice pudding.

I insisted that they go out for a good dinner. After all, they'd spent most of the day in my room with me. I read a while before drifting off to sleep.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Seven

I had my first nightmare since the surgery that night. I was back in the Golden Hill ER, being examined by the police. The main difference from reality was that my injuries were much worse in the dream. My whole face was battered and bloody. I woke up disoriented, and it took me a few seconds to remember where I was.

I looked around and reached for the water bottle. It was empty, so I decided to be a wimp and pressed the call button

The nurse was very nice. I asked her what time it was, and she said it was almost 4:00AM

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I just had a nightmare. I'm better now," I replied.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked. She pulled up a chair and sat down next to my bed.

I nodded and told her about my nightmare, and how it was related to my present hospital stay.

"How old are you, Erika?" she asked.

"I'll be eighteen next month." Hey, if I was an almost college freshman, then I could be almost eighteen too!

She just shook her head. "I'm so sorry that you had to experience something like that. I hope they caught him."

"Yes, and he's in prison now. There was some good that came out of it too; my Mom ended up getting engaged to our town's DA."

"You ought to write this up as a movie."

We both laughed at that.

We talked for a few more minutes. She was very nice, and I felt very relaxed talking to her. I drifted back to sleep. When I woke up, it was morning and she was off shift. I never had a chance to thank her. I did get her name so I could write her.

 

Chapter Two-Hundred-Forty-Eight

The ride home seemed very long. I slept most of the way home. Yes, I told Mom about the nightmare and the help from the nurse.

We got home by mid-afternoon. I thanked Tony and he gently gave me a big hug.

"So who gets the cheesecakes?" he asked. He pulled two boxes with cheesecakes in them out of the mini-fridge in the limo.

I smiled as he handed the two cakes to Mom. "Thank you so much," I said.

"This is the best in the city," he replied. "And before you ask, they are on the house."

"Thanks again."

Cat said she'd run one over to the Mall.

Tony got our bags out of the trunk and I went inside. I'd only been gone a few days, but I really missed being home. I immediately went up to bed.

To my surprise, Sam had picked up one of those large pillows that allows you to sit up in bed. It was sitting on my bed and I immediately put it to good use. The pills did a good job of killing the pain, but they made me so sleepy.

I came down later. Sam got up and gave me nice gentle hug. It was dinnertime, and I managed to eat some solid food. The pain was slowly decreasing, as the bruises seemed to get worse. I now sported a nice pair of raccoon eyes.

The next few weeks were dedicated to healing and recovery. With the surgery behind me, the next big event was the wedding, followed closely by the trip to the shore. Then our close circle of friends would be spread out. I tried not to think about that. I wanted to savor the next few months and not think of the separations from so many wonderful friends.

 

(continued)

  

  

  

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