The Scholarship

by

Julie O.

 

Chapter Fourteen

Saturday morning was cloudy and a bit cooler. I decided to wear a red turtleneck top with a gray sweatshirt adorned with a picture of Willi. I was in jeans and brown loafers, my beloved sandals having been put into hibernation until spring.

Cat called. Laura was picking us up for the trip over to Grantville around eleven. Paul was also coming along with us. The only other task that morning was to call the salon and make an appointment. They had heard of my nomination and were excited about working on me. I told them that, due to practice, I couldn't be there until after 6. They told me it wouldn't be a problem and they told me that stayed open late on Wednesdays.

I met Cat at her house. Terri congratulated me and kidded me a bit about my upcoming date.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" I asked Cat.

"To be totally honest, yes, I do. I think this is a very important crossroad for you and you shouldn't put it off," she answered. "Besides, you seem to be the only one worried. You're accepted here as Erika, you might as well acknowledge it and move on."

"Thanks, Cat, I can always count on you to give me an honest answer," I replied.

"That's what friends are for. You have become very special to me."

"So, who are you going to the dance with?" I asked.

Cat smiled at me. "I guess I should listen to my own advice more often, everyone will know soon enough. I'm going with Laura."

I smiled slightly. "You mean you two are lesbians?"

"I don't like labels. I still like boys, but something has clicked between Laura and me. What do you think?" she asked.

"I think it's great. But how will the rest of the school react?"

"Well, we aren't the first, and it would seem hypocritical to make a big deal about it when there are thirty guys running around campus in skirts. My mom knows and she is cool about it. As far as anyone else goes, this is my life and I am not looking for their permission."

"I fully support you and Laura. After all, you've been there for me!"

"Thanks, Erika, I really appreciate it. And I will always be there for you."

We gave each other a big hug. Just then the Hallmark moment was broken up by the sound of Laura's horn.

As I slipped in the back next to Paul, I gave Laura a knowing wink. She smiled back.

On the drive over to Grantville, I told them that I was feeling a bit nervous.

"I feel safe here in Golden Hill, but I am still a bit wary when I go to other towns," I stated.

"Well, don't worry, the Pit will protect you," promised Cat.

We formed the transplanted Pit in the visiting team's bleachers. We were presently 5-0 and headed towards another championship. Grantville was having a pretty good season, and at 4-1 they couldn't afford to lose to us.

Just before the game started, we watched as the Grantville students put up a huge banner that said, "The Grantville Cougars welcome the Central High Drag Queens." There were several male students wearing Central gear in drag mincing around their sidelines. I felt a wave of emotions run through me, ranging from fear to rage. I looked over at Caroline and could see the same range of emotions in her. There were a few other contestants in the Pit, and the rest of our class immediately comforted all of us.

If their intention was to psych-out our team, it failed miserably. Our team just glared at them in silence. The entire team seemed very intense. Alex looked up to the Pit and pointed at us. Mike Jackson starting waving the tattered gray rag that had once been my t-shirt during the opening kickoff. I pulled my camera out of my bag and took his picture.

The game was a blowout from the second that their kickoff receiver caught the ball. Our special teams almost decapitated him and in doing so caused a fumble. We recovered the ball to run in for a touchdown. We never let up from there, scoring on every possession, with the defense adding two more scores. Halftime saw 49-0.

The banners were still up after the halftime show and our team continued with their abuse of the Cougars. Our defense was not content to just not let them score, but they didn't want them to gain a yard. Our coach finally called off the dogs when the score reached 84-0. I also noticed that we let up right after several irate Cougar players tore down the offending sign. There was no more scoring and we recorded our most impressive victory in school history; the rest of the league got the message to not to piss us off.

We all got out of there right away to avoid trouble and headed to the post-game party at Alex's house. His parents owned an old farmhouse on the edge of town. They had converted the barn into an upstairs apartment for Alex, and transformed the downstairs part into a giant recreation room. It had become the site for the many post-game celebrations.

I saw Mike and Tracey when we walked in. He came up to me and said that the win was for all of us. I smiled and thanked him. We met up with Alex; he was talking to Kristen. It looked like they were becoming an item. He told us that our coach had told his Grantville counterpart to take down the sign before the game started.

Alex told us what happened next. "Coach said that the Grantville coach said that we should send some of our "sissies" over to do it. So, he turned to us and told us to really kick their asses. Not that we needed his permission. The team was really pissed and was tempted to go over and tear it down. Coach then made the same demand at halftime and was told to "get screwed." Apparently their own players tore it down without being told to. I guess we showed them!"

"I was hoping that they'd keep the signs up. I think we could have broke one hundred!" added Mike with a huge smile on his face.

I looked at Alex and Mike. "I think you guys are great. I wanted to personally thank you!"

Alex walked up and gave me a huge hug. He actually lifted me up off the ground.

"Well, maybe this will keep a lid on the usual BS that goes down when we play Red Hill High," said Alex.

He went on to tell me about the border war that existed between the two schools. Some of it I had heard about from Cat. He said that this year it would get pretty bad because it was shaping up as the championship game for the conference. Red Hill was our last game and they were also undefeated.

I caught up with Paul. For a non-jock he was well liked by the team. He was talking with some of the players. He planned on making the game the focus of this week's comic and was getting some of their input. He smiled when I walked over to him.

"So, are you having a good time?" he asked

"Yes, I am. By the way, my mom asked me to invite you over for dinner. How about Tuesday?" I asked.

"Sounds good. I have a similar invite from my parents for tomorrow."

"My mom is cool about you taking me to the dance. How are your parents taking it?" I asked. "You did tell them EVERYTHING about me?"

Paul smiled at me. "Yes, they know. They were at the game when you were attacked."

"Oh! And how do they feel about you taking me to the dance?"

"Kind of mixed feelings. My mom is totally cool with it, and so is my sister. My dad has a few issues – more with me than with you. But don't worry, he'll be polite and he won't rip your shirt off. He may not talk to you; but then again he doesn't talk to me all that much either. But on the plus side, my Mom is a great cook."

"Sounds like it will be a thrilling evening. I didn't know you had a sister, how old is she?"

"She's two years older and her name is Barb. She's in college. She's looking forward to meeting you."

The party lasted for a few more hours. The tension of the game slowly passed and everyone's focus shifted to the upcoming events of Homecoming and the game versus the Glendale High Knights.

Laura gave us a lift home. It had been a long day and I was really beat. Paul told me that he would pick me up around 5:00. We dropped him off first as Laura and Cat wanted to talk to me in private.

We went over to Cat's house and went into her room. It was funny that I once felt so nervous walking in there.

"How're you doing?" asked Laura.

"Well, considering everything that has happened in the past few days, I'm okay," I replied. "How are you doing?"

"I am a bit nervous about coming out at school. I know some won't take it very well. But my parents know and, while they aren't exactly happy, they are supportive," answered Laura. "I think they have always suspected that I was different, but that's different from knowing the truth."

"Do you only have feelings for girls or do you like boys too?" I asked

"I like boys like you," she answered with a smile and a wink.

Her answer caught me off guard and I did my best to recover. "Oh, I see. So you like the sensitive types! Well, as I told Cat, I'm your friend; and you'll always be my friend," I promised. I hoped my answer didn't sound too stupid.

Laura winked at me and giggled.

"Erika, I know that you like me a lot. However, I'd rather just be friends with you. Friend really isn't a good description, you're the closest thing to a sister I'll ever have," announced Cat.

"Was I that obvious?" I replied with a laugh, "Look, I'll admit I'm a bit jealous of Laura, but I think it's great that you two are happy." I was happy that Cat saw me as her sister, but part of me knew that meant we wouldn't date.

"Thanks, Erika. I appreciate your honesty," replied Cat.

Back home, I told Mom about the events of the day. She wasn't all that surprised about Cat and Laura. She told me that she'd make a dessert for me to take to Paul's house Sunday night.

Chapter Fifteen

Sunday morning I got up and ran a few miles. It had rained overnight, but it was starting to clear. I liked running early in the morning as it gave me a chance to think about things. The idea that Cat and Laura were now an item was slowly sinking in. I hoped that everyone would be accepting. But then again, the response by the football team yesterday showed that they were open minded.

I used most of the day to finish off some homework. Before I knew it, it was time to get ready. Cat came over and helped me pick out an outfit. I ended up in a long black skirt, black boots, and a red sweater. Cat checked my makeup and complimented me.

"You know, they're a few girls on campus that you could teach a thing or two about makeup," complimented Cat.

I smiled at Cat. I was struggling to put in my earring. I was starting to tremble slightly. Cat reached over and helped me.

"Nervous?"

"No. Whatever gave you that idea?" I answered with a slight laugh.

"Look, you'll do fine. It's only dinner, and Paul's mom and sister are pretty cool."

"What about his dad?" I asked.

"Paul's mom and sister are pretty cool," she repeated, with a smile. "Paul's dad is just a little old fashioned. I think he has some personal issues to deal with."

We talked a few more minutes until Paul arrived. He came in and met Mom, and he thanked her for the dessert.

"You look great, by the way," he said.

"Thanks." I was aware that I was blushing slightly. "Sorry, I'm just not completely used to getting compliments from a boy."

"You'd better get used to it," he replied. "You're beautiful."

Mrs. Brady met us at the door. I could hear the TV in the family room; it sounded like a football game. Paul's sister Barb joined us in the kitchen. Like Cat said, they were both pretty cool. I hit it off with both of them; they asked me questions while Paul went in to see his dad.

Paul walked back in. "Dad will be in when the game is over."

I sensed the tension between Paul and his father.

Paul joined us the kitchen table. Mrs. Brady had to get up every few minutes to check on dinner. She was cooking chicken breasts.

"It smells great, Mrs. Brady."

"Thank you, Erika."

"So, how do you feel about being nominated for Homecoming Queen?" asked Barb.

"Nervous. I also feel honored. I appreciate that my friends think so highly of me," I answered.

"Paul told me that Queen was pretty well a lock for one of the cheerleaders," stated Barb.

"Yes, her name is Kristen, but she deserves it. She is really nice," I replied.

"I hope you make the court. I think it would be great. Besides, it will be a night you'll never forget."

"Barb was in the court her senior year at Central," explained Mrs. Brady.

Then we heard the TV go silent. Paul gave me a look and a wink. In walked Mr. Brady.

"Dad, this is Erika Walters," introduced Paul.

I could feel his eyes move down me as he checked me out. He extended his hand. "Good evening," he stated in a flat, unemotional tone.

"Thank you, Mr. Brady, I'm pleased to meet you too." I replied, in a sweet, cheerful manner.

He sat down at the table across from me. He continued to inspect me. I decided to try and start some conversation.

"So, who won the game?" I asked.

"Steelers pulled it out in overtime with a field goal. Do you like football?"

"Absolutely. My mom even took me to a few games back in San Diego."

"Really? I would have thought that you wouldn't follow it now" he answered bluntly.

I ignored the obvious insult, "Well, it was easier to follow out there. The early games came on at 10:00 AM, so you could watch a game and still have the whole day to do things. Also the Monday night game started at 6:00."

Paul cracked a small smile. Barb also looked pleased with the way I was handling myself. The mind games had started. So far I'd returned his first serve. I prepared for the next volley. I was determined to stay calm and unemotional, even if I was kicked out.

"What do you think about the Wolfhound's game yesterday?" he asked.

"I loved it. The game sent a message to the rest of the league that you have to beat us on the field, not try to play stupid mind games with us."

"Yes, but how do you feel personally about the banner?"

"I felt it was insulting and juvenile, but I didn't take it as a personal attack."

He sat there in silence. It was like he was planning his next serve.

"You know, there are some people who would consider this whole scholarship contest immoral and slightly perverted," he stated, in a calm voice.

There was a very loud silence in the room.

I took a big breath. "That's true, but there have always been narrow-minded people who judge something or someone before they get to know and understand it or them."

I wasn't sure, but I think he cracked a smile.

"And what do you do when you meet these 'narrow-minded people' these days?"

"It depends on whether they are truly narrow-minded or just uninformed. If they are narrow-minded, then I ignore them the best I can. If they are just uninformed, then I try to educate them. But I won't sink to their level." Okay, the ball's back in your court, I thought.

The shot was returned quickly. "So, everyone who disagrees with you is narrow-minded or uninformed?"

"No, I never said that. But only a fool would make a judgment about something without knowing all the facts. I respect other people's opinions as long as they are based in facts and reason. I have no respect for closed-minded, uneducated opinions. I respect other viewpoints, even when I don't agree with them."

The only noise was the sound of the chicken cooking in the oven. I wasn't sure what was coming next.

"As a guest in my home, don't you feel that you should be respectful of my beliefs?" he asked.

"Yes, I do, and, as a guest invited into your home, my beliefs should likewise be respected. I doubt I would gain your respect by abandoning my beliefs just to please you. People don't have to all have the same beliefs to get along," I answered, half expecting to get shown the door.

He sat there and then broke out in a big smile, "Well, I'll give you credit, Erika, you didn't back down and you argued your points quite well. If you win that scholarship, you should consider going into law. You have the makings of a good lawyer. Hell, I might even hire you," he stated with a laugh.

"Dinner is ready," announced Mrs. Brady.

The rest of the evening was fine. As I left, Mr. Brady told me that I was welcome back anytime.

"Man, you really pulled it off tonight He actually likes you!" beamed Paul, as he drove me home.

"I'm kind of amazed that I survived his interrogation myself," I replied. "By the way, it's your turn on Tuesday."

"What time?" he asked.

"Come by around 6:30. Oh, my mom's questions will be more on your intentions, just in case you want to start working on your answers."

Paul walked me up to the front door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again for coming by, and I'm glad that everything worked out."

"I had a good time, thanks," I replied.

Paul stood there looking at me. I knew what was on his mind and part of me actually wanted him to do it. He shrugged his shoulders and then leaned over and kissed me. It was a quick little kiss on the lips, but I remember it to this day. Every girl remembers her first kiss!

He walked back to his car and waved good-bye. I stood there for a few seconds and then walked in.

"I'm home," I announced as I hung up my coat.

"Come on in the kitchen, honey," replied Mom.

I walked in the kitchen and saw that Cat was there with her mom. They were all drinking tea. I grabbed my mug and filled it from the teapot.

"How'd it go?" Mom asked.

I proceeded to tell them about my evening at the Bradys.

"I'm pleased that you held your ground," Mom stated proudly.

"Also, when Paul dropped me off he kissed me," I added, taking a sip of tea.

There was a momentary silence. I waited to see who would ask a question first.

"And how do you feel about it?" asked Mom.

"Mixed feelings. Part of me liked it, part of me is very confused, and part of me is scared," I answered.

"Why scared?" asked Terri.

"I know I may be stating the obvious, but this is starting to get a lot deeper and involved that a simple contest. I'm having a lot of conflicting thoughts. And to be honest, I'm not sure I want the contest to end," I announced. Judging by the looks on their faces, I wasn't exactly shocking them.

"And Paul's attraction to you just compounds these feelings," added Terri.

I nodded. "I appreciate your help and advice. It's also good to have someone I can trust to listen to me," I said.

Chapter Sixteen

The campaigns were in full swing. By Wednesday, almost every wall had a multitude of posters and flyers on it. I gave Paul a free ride with one main exception – don't mess with the other candidate's posters. Due to everything going on that week, Paul took a rain check for dinner. He understood completely.

Voting was very strictly monitored to ensure that the ballot box wasn't stuffed. Each ballot allowed you to vote for your top four. All votes had to be in by the end of lunch.

I basically tried to put it out of my mind, but the growing internal conflict with my gender had an influence. Part of me was really hoping to win. I braced myself for the results. They were due to be announced at the end of 6^th period. I was in a fog most of the day and 6^th period didn't come soon enough. I walked by the display case for the contest and saw that the number of contestants had dropped to 25. I looked at the pictures of the latest to drop out. I really didn't know them that well. I did recognize one. He had been at the football game on Saturday. So there was at least one casualty from Grantville's ignorance.

During PE, Coach Chambers called me over. "If you are a finalist, you will have a meeting to attend right after school. Go to the meeting, I'll know where you are. If you don't make it, well, you can run off your emotions."

"Thanks, Coach."

There was no need to change after PE with practice so soon after school. I did put on my team sweats. I felt a sense of pride from seeing the Wolfhound logo on one side and my name embroidered on the other. We had only two meets left before the playoffs. Barring injuries, I was a lock to earn a letter. I really wanted it too. I saw myself as a vital part of the team.

The sound of Mrs. Lee's voice snapped me back into reality. I walked out of the locker room and stood in the main hallway that led from the gyms to the rest of the school.

"I have the honor to announce this year's Homecoming King & Queen and their court. There will be a mandatory meeting in Rm. 105 immediately. First, I want to thank everyone for participating and for the wonderful campaigns that you all waged. I also need to add that, once again, Willi's write-in campaign fell short."

I listened as she called off the male winners first. As expected, Alex was named King. I was also pleased to hear that Mike Jackson was selected for the court. I really didn't know the other two all that well. Bill Fry was the student government VP, and Chris Taylor was the captain of the soccer team.

Next came the Queen and her court. Kristen was elected Queen. Then came the three members of her court. As I stood there waiting, several members of the team joined me. Laura's name was called off next, followed by Tracey's, and then mine!

The girls around me immediately swamped me. I thanked them and worked my way through well-wishers until I made it to the meeting.

Laura and Kristen ran up and hugged me when I walked in. I was very overwhelmed by it all. Once everyone arrived, Mrs. Lee once again congratulated us.

We were handed a booklet that contained the schedule of events. Mrs. Lee told us to read them overnight. She said that tomorrow we would be pulled out of class for our fittings. A local formal clothing rental company was donating the outfits. They would measure us tomorrow and have the clothes ready Friday.

Friday we would get to ride the float in the parade before the game. Then at half-time we would be presented to the student body. Our last duties would be to open the homecoming dance after the game. There were a few extras thrown in for the girls. On Friday afternoon, we would be given a free total makeover.

After the meeting, I headed back to practice. I ran into Ms. Bell on my way back to the gym. She asked me to stop by and see her tomorrow morning. I said I would and hurried on back to practice.

I reported to Coach Chambers and she told me to warm up and then to catch up with the rest of the team. Running that afternoon was very relaxing. I felt free. Our next meet was the following day, so we had a light practice. I changed and headed to the parking lot. Mom had allowed me to use her car so I could make it to the salon.

The staff at the salon had already heard that I was in the court. They were very happy for me. They colored my hair again and restyled it. Additionally, they gave me a discount on my nails. They were a bit longer than I was used to, but they looked great. I told them about the makeover on Friday and they told me that the woman who was doing it was excellent. I promised them a photo.

I arrived home and Mom was waiting there for me. She was more excited about what was happening than I was. We had a nice dinner at home. I spent the rest of the evening doing homework and reading the agenda for Homecoming.

Chapter Seventeen

The next day I caught a ride to school with Cat and Laura. We talked about the upcoming events. I was keyed up for several reasons. First, there was all the stuff going on with Homecoming, and then there was the meet this afternoon.

"You know, Erika, when I first met you back in August, I knew you'd do well here, but I had no idea that you'd get picked for Homecoming," confessed Cat.

"I would have been shocked if you'd told me that I'd still be the competition after two months," I replied

"Erika, you aren't in any competition anymore," stated Laura. "With every passing day, you leave your old life further behind you."

"Maybe you're right," I said to myself. Deep down I knew she was right, I just wasn't ready to openly admit it.

We got to school early. Laura wanted to soak in the atmosphere of being a "celebrity." I walked down to see Ms. B. Luckily, she was in her office and she waved me in.

"I see that you're having a great week," she announced

"Yes, it's not bad. It still hasn't sunk in about Homecoming."

"I am very proud of what you have accomplished so far. You are a credit to the program."

"Thank you, Ms. B."

"If there is anything you need or have questions about, please feel free to stop by my office."

"I know that, Ms. B, but thanks for the reminder. Is there anything else you need?" I asked.

"No, that's all for now. I'll see you at Homecoming," she replied.

As I walked out her office, I felt that something was up. I knew that she liked me, but there was something else going on. I put it out of my mind as I headed to homeroom.

When I entered my homeroom, I was greeted by a standing ovation. There were several cries of, "Speech! Speech!"

"Thank you, all. I really appreciate your support. I also want to thank all the 'little people' that helped with my campaign," I announced, while looking at Paul with a big smile on my face.

"I want a rebuttal, I'm taller than she is!" protested Paul.

Mr. Grant said it was time to sit down and get to work. I went to my seat and saw Cat grinning at me.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked.

"I am just pleased to see the changes in you. You have come a long way from the shy girl I knew back in August," she whispered.

"Excuse me, Miss Walters, this is for you," interrupted Mr. Grant as he handed me a pass.

"What does it say?" asked Cat, as I looked at it.

"It's my pass to get fitted for my gown. I need to be in Mrs. Roberts's room at 11:00. Cool! That will get me out of Calculus!"

"You'll have to tell me everything at lunch, and I mean everything!"

 

 

Entering the Home Economics classroom, I ran into Laura. "Hey, Erika! You're next!" Laura was really eating this up. I got a kick out of seeing her so happy.

"Hi, Laura, how was it?"

"It was great. Get this – they're even giving us lingerie to go with the gowns!" she exclaimed, holding up a bag, "Don't worry, Ms. B is here and they know about your status. You'll be fine. Well, see you at lunch!" Laura zipped out of the room.

I saw Ms. B talking to an older woman. The woman was dressed in very expensive clothes and everything on her was coordinated and looked… well, it all looked perfect.

"Hi, Erika, I want you to meet Mrs. Lincoln," introduced Ms. B.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lincoln. I'm pleased to meet you."

"So, this is the young woman that I have heard so much about? It is a pleasure to meet you too, Erika. Shall we get started?" replied Mrs. Lincoln.

I nodded as she led me to her work area. I saw Mrs. Roberts sitting at her desk. She looked up and waved to me. I waved back.

Mrs. Lincoln owned several stores in the area. Apparently she'd married well, several times, and divorced even better. Her stores were known to have the newest fashions and were swamped during major social events.

There was another woman standing there. I figured that she was the seamstress. There was no way that Mrs. Lincoln would lower herself to physical labor.

"Well, Erika, let me take a look at you. Yes, very nice. You stay in good shape," she noted.

"I'm on the cross-country team," I explained.

"Alright, dear, I need you to strip down to you bra and panties. We will need to get your measurements," she explained.

I reluctantly stripped down. The other woman took out a tape measure and went over my whole body. She then went to the clothes rack behind her and handed me a gown.

"Please slip this on, dear. It will be a little loose in some places, but that is what Rita is here for," Mrs. Lincoln stated.

The gown was strapless and was silver in color. "Your Queen will be in red. I assume the color choice has something to do with your school colors. I wouldn't select them," added Mrs. Lincoln with a slight smile. "Now what is your shoe size? We need you in heels to get the hem just right."

I put on the heels and stood there in the gown while Rita marked and pinned sections. Luckily, Cat had made me buy some heels and she had taught me to walk in them. I was still a bit wobbly, but I imagine that was due to being nervous.

I was then told to carefully take off the gown. I handed it to Rita and thanked her.

"Now, we need to get you a strapless bra and some other lingerie," continued Mrs. Lincoln.

She had me try on several styles before settling on a style. She then handed me a pair of matching panties, a garter belt, and several pairs of stockings.

"I think that a girl on a special night should be wearing beautiful things on every part of her body. Now those are yours to keep," she stated.

"Thank you, very much. You are very thoughtful," I answered. I was actually pleased by the gift!

Mrs. Lincoln nodded approvingly, "Now, let me see – good, you have pierced ears and only one hole per ear, how refreshing!"

She selected a pair of earrings and a matching necklace.

"Yes, these will work very nicely with your gown. I will bring these to school tomorrow. I want you here at 2:30 sharp. The makeup artist will be here and then we will get you dressed. Now don't forget your lingerie. I will be very disappointed if you forget them. Now, go get dressed. I think you need to get back to class. I will see you tomorrow, Erika."

I put my skirt and sweater back on and slipped on my shoes.

"Good-bye, Rita, thank you. Good-bye, Mrs. Lincoln. Don't worry, I won't forget. Thank you for everything," I said as I left.

As I walked out of the room, I saw Mrs. Roberts and Ms. B standing in the hallway. "She is something, isn't she?" whispered Ms. Roberts.

I smiled and nodded. "See you later, Mrs. Roberts."

I now knew why Laura had been so dreamy when I saw her. It felt good to be pampered. I could get used to it, I thought. I was immediately dragged back into reality when I got back to class. I arrived just in time for a surprise quiz.

At lunch, Laura and I told Cat all about Mrs. Lincoln.

Cat smiled at my description of Mrs. Lincoln. "She sounds like a real character."

"Will you be at the meet this afternoon?" I asked.

"Of course, we do have season tickets you know," quipped Laura. "Besides, it's so nice out."

We were in the middle of a dose of warm weather. It was due to last through the weekend, and then it was due to turn nasty.

"I know. When I saw the gowns for tomorrow, I was expecting to freeze." I replied.

"Oh, we'll be too excited to feel cold," exclaimed Laura.

I just looked at Cat and rolled my eyes, "What have you been feeding her the last few days?"

"I know, I will have to cut all sugar and caffeine out of her diet," added Cat.

"I don't care what you say, I'm going to enjoy every second of this!" exclaimed Laura.

I ran into Paul on my way to my photography class.

"I'll be at the meet this afternoon. Can I drive you home?" asked Paul, smiling at me.

"Sounds great, see you then!"

I sat down next to Caroline and asked her how it was going.

She looked at me and I could tell that she was depressed. "Well, I got into a huge fight with my dad last night. I told him that I was going to the homecoming dance and that I had a date. He kicked me out of the house."

"What are you going to do?" I asked. I was stunned.

"I moved in with my aunt. I'll still be in the district. My mom still supports me."

"If you need anything, let me know." I put my arm around her.

"Besides, I think you know that this is becoming a bit more than a competition for a scholarship for me," she whispered to me.

"What do you mean?" I replied softly.

"I'll call you tonight."

I told her I should be home between 6:00 and 7:00. I also decided to stop by Ms. B's office.

I swung into Ms. B's office on my way to Home Economics. She thanked me for the information and said that she would do what she could for Caroline.

I pretty much drifted through Mrs. Roberts' class. The team was getting dismissed early for the meet, so I was only in class for 20 minutes.

I was really looking forward to the meet. Not so much because of the competition, but because it would allow me to clear my head for a while. I was really concerned for Caroline and her reference to the fact that the contest wasn't important to her.

The meet was a pretty easy victory. Rachael was back and ran as if she'd never been injured. She easily won and we also took the next three positions. I grabbed fourth, but I didn't care what place I was in as long as we won.

I showered and changed and caught up with Laura, Cat, and Paul.

"So are you heading to Guido's?" asked Laura

"Absolutely!" I replied.

Cat left with Laura and I rode over with Paul. He leaned over and kissed me.

"So what was that for?" I asked.

"For fourth place."

After the celebration, he dropped me off and gave me another kiss. This time I responded back. Instead of a short little peck on the lips, we kissed a little longer and a lot more passionately.

"That was nice," stated Paul.

I nodded. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

I was just getting in the door when the phone rang. Mom answered and I could hear her tell the person that I'd just got in.

"Hi, honey, Caroline is on the phone,"

"Thanks, Mom," I said as I took the phone from her. "Hi, Caroline, how are you doing?"

"Better, thanks. I appreciate your concern and thanks for talking to Ms. B. She already has helped me."

"Hey, that's what friends are for," I answered. " So, what else is on your mind?"

"Well. I guess I can trust you. Ms. B. is arranging with my mom for me to see a therapist, so I can start my official transition."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Caroline's words were starting to sink in.

"I'm transsexual. I finally stopped fighting it, and I plan to live the rest of my life as a female."

I was initially speechless. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I knew deep down that I entered the competition not for the scholarship, but because of the chance to be myself. I mean that I'd love to get the scholarship, but I have never felt so free and at ease as I have this year. My aunt is totally accepting, and if my dad doesn't come around, that's his loss. Ms. B says that, to stay in the competition, I won't be able to start hormones until spring. But I can wait."

"Wow! Well, you can count on my support, Caroline."

"Thanks. Look, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this quiet for now."

"No problem," I answered.

Caroline's revelation had me thinking. Until the competition, I had never thought about dressing in women's clothes. But I had to admit that I was becoming more and more at ease with it.

I also knew that it was deeper than that. I was happy being Erika. I felt a sense of excitement knowing that Caroline was staying in the contest. That meant that I could stay Erika until the end of the school year. I know it was it a bit selfish, but I didn't care.

Chapter Eighteen

The sense of excitement in school on Friday was electrifying. I drifted through my classes and was clock-watching the whole day. Whatever Laura had was apparently contagious, and I was almost as dizzy as she was.

To be honest, I remember very little about the day. I know I was in school, but I cannot remember a single detail between homeroom and 2:30 in the afternoon.

I arrived at Mrs. Robert's room and joined the other three girls. They had to get us ready by 4:30 for the start of the parade.

As they styled my hair and did my makeup, I smiled, thinking about what my friends in my old school would think. I was very curious about what I'd look like. They wouldn't let me see myself until they were finished.

They finally turned me around and I was speechless. I couldn't believe that it was me in the reflection. I thanked them for their wonderful work.

Next came the dress. Kristen was already dressed. She was having her crown adjusted and pinned down. She looked so beautiful. Mrs. Lincoln waved me over and directed me to the dressing area. I needed some help with the stockings and garters. I couldn't seem to line them up right. Mrs. Lincoln had one of her assistants come over and help me.

The dress fit like a glove. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror and was mesmerized. Mrs. Lincoln came up and helped me put my earrings and necklace on. She then set a small tiara on my head and pinned it down.

She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You look lovely, dear, soak it all in. You will remember this night your whole life."

I slowly walked over to Laura and Tracey. They also both looked incredible. Although, combined we looked like the backup singers for a '50s girl singing group. Mrs. Lincoln was right. Our school colors looked much better on sports uniforms. Still, it did nothing to diminish the joy I was feeling.

We walked down with Kristen to the float. Only two of the guys would be on the float. The game was too important. Alex and Mike would join us at halftime in their uniforms. I was actually surprised that Kristen was skipping the game. The guys were dressed in James Bond tuxedos. Alex and Mike would change into theirs after the game and join us at the dance.

While we waited on the float, Laura and I joked about practicing our royal waves to the masses. Finally the parade started. We waited for a while. We were the last float and we had to follow the band, cars, other floats, etc.

I started to shiver a little as our float started down the street. I wasn't cold, so it had to be nerves. I had a momentary thought that this was some cruel joke, but it quickly faded. We had been told to smile a lot and to wave to everyone. I had no idea how tiring that could be. I searched the crowd for Mom, Cat, and Paul. I finally saw Mom; she was standing up front taking pictures. Terri was standing next to her and was videotaping us.

I saw Paul and Cat a few blocks down. I nudged Laura and she looked over and blew a kiss to Cat. What really surprised me was seeing Paul's parents in the crowd. I was stunned to see that his dad was also videotaping us.

We rode the float into the stadium and were escorted to seats near the field.

"I guess we're a little overdressed for the Pit tonight," joked Tracey.

Laura, Kristen, and I looked at each other, "Oh, my God! This is a red-letter day, Tracey actually told a joke!" exclaimed Kristen.

We all laughed, as Tracey rarely even spoke. As vocal and emotional as she was while leading cheers, she was equally shy elsewhere else.

We watched as Willi ran across the field with our 6-0 Wolfhounds following close behind.

Mike and Alex came over for a couple of photographs, then they ran back to the team.

We were provided wraps to keep us warm until halftime. The game was another blowout. The Glendale Knights were a .500 team and we had little trouble with them. At half time, we were joined by Alex and Mike and paired up to walk out to the 50-yard-line.

Of course, Alex walked with Kristen. Mike followed with Tracey. Bill Fry escorted Laura, and Chris Taylor took my arm. Chris was pretty cool. He kidded me that the girl's cross-country team was the only sport that drew a smaller crowd than soccer. It was true. Football was king at this school and all other sports combined were a distant second.

I was looking forward to hearing my name called out on the PA, but I was too busy concentrating on not falling on my face as we walked to the center of the field. High heels and turf don't mix. The guys were doing a great job supporting us.

The ceremony only lasted a few minutes, but, as Mrs. Lincoln had advised me, I took in every second and savored it. I wanted to remember this night the rest of my life.

The Wolfhounds continued the beating in the second half. At the end of the 3^rd quarter, the coach pulled Alex and Mike and sent them in early to change. They joined us a few minutes before the end of the game.

The plan was for us to be taken over to the dance. Our last official duties were to walk in to open the dance. Then Kristen and Alex would get the first dance solo. Then we would join them for the second dance. After that we were on our own. The only rule was that we had to drop off the dresses, jewelry, and shoes before we left.

The entrance into the dance was pretty cool. It was completely dark except for the spotlight that focused on us as we walked in. Again, the King and Queen entered first. I was very nervous before the first dance. I was as talented a dancer as I was a singer. The only thing that made me feel better was when Chris whispered to me that he "sucked at dancing."

Luckily, it was a slow dance and we stumbled our way through it. After the dance, Chris thanked me and excused himself. I remembered that Cat had told me that he was dating a junior. I was about to look for Paul when I looked out and saw Laura dancing with Cat. They were getting a few looks, but otherwise everyone seemed okay with it.

Just then, I felt someone take my hand. I turned to see Paul and he led me out into the mass of dancers.

"I must tell you that I'm a horrible dancer," I whispered as I leaned close to him.

"Don't worry about it, you more than make up for it by the way you look," he replied.

I smiled and did my best. The combination of my lack of dancing ability and the dress limited my movements. I debated going up to Mrs. Robert's room and changing, but I was enjoying the way I looked too much. Okay, I was a little vain, but I think I'd earned the right to be.

In addition to stepping on Paul's feet, I also tried to dance with several other guys. Because of my "mascot" status with the team, I must have danced with half the football team, including Alex and Mike. Paul didn't mind, in fact he seemed to be taking great pleasure in my suffering.

I ran into Caroline and she was with her date. He was a boy from our photography class. She looked very much at ease with her life now. I was so happy for her.

I saw most of the other contestants. Attendance was mandatory and failure to attend could lead to being dropped. In between dances, I ran into Ms. B.

"You seem to having a wonderful time, Erika."

"I really am, even though I can't dance!"

"I think you're doing fine."

Just then one of the photographers walked by. Ms. B waved him over.

"I would really appreciate a photo with you, Erika," she asked.

"Sure, sounds great," I replied. I had posed with several other people that night, including Paul. Laura had given me instructions on how to pose correctly.

After the shot was taken, Ms. B thanked me, saying she wanted a memento of this evening as a sign of the success of the program.

I spent the rest of the evening hanging out with Paul, Laura, and Cat. Before I knew it, it was time to leave. I danced the last dance with Paul. It was, of course, a slow dance and it felt very romantic.

Laura and I walked up together to Mrs. Roberts's room. Mrs. Lincoln was there to ensure we turned in everything. I carefully took off the gown and placed it on the hanger. The shoes were a bit scuffed from the dance, but I guess that was to be expected. I took off the necklace, tiara, and earrings and placed them in their boxes. It was funny, but I had totally forgotten I was wearing the tiara. It was only after I looked in the mirror that I saw it. It really looked out of place with my denim skirt and white blouse. I didn't bother changing my lingerie. I liked the feel of it against my body.

As I handed my stuff in to Mrs. Lincoln, I felt a bit down. I was sorry the night was over.

"Cheer up now, dear, you'll have other evenings to look forward to. I am very proud of you," she smiled, handing me her card. "When the prom comes around, call me. I have some things that would look lovely on you."

'"Thank you very much, Mrs. Lincoln." I threw caution to the wind and leaned over and gave her a hug. To my genuine surprise, she returned my display of emotion and wrapped her arms around me.

I walked back to the gym with Laura; she was also sorry the night was over. We found Cat and Paul talking to Alex, Kristen, and a group of other couples.

"Hey, girls, my parents are throwing a little post-party party in the barn, you want to join us?" asked Alex.

"Absolutely!" exclaimed Laura, perking up.

I rode over to the party with Paul. "So, did I tell you how great you looked tonight?"

"Not in the past ten minutes," I replied.

"I don't know how this will turn out, but it's been worth it so far!"

"I agree!"

After being at the party for an hour, I hit the wall. I suddenly felt very tired and Paul took me home. He parked his bug in our driveway.

"Erika, I really had a great time tonight, and I'm happy I got to share it with you!"

He smiled and took me in his arms. I offered no resistance as he started to kiss me. Suddenly, this all felt so normal and natural. We kissed for several minutes.

"I think I'd better go in." I then leaned over and gave him a short kiss on the lips and walked into the house. I didn't fully understand what was happening, but there was no sense in denying that I was now Paul's girlfriend.

Chapter Nineteen

Early November brought in the first taste of winter and I was totally miserable. It wasn't just cold, but windy and rainy too. For the first time in a while, I missed San Diego. To make matters worse, the rules of the competition still required us to wear skirts or dresses four out of five days a week. Cat was truly enjoying my discomfort. Even with tights on I was freezing.

The cross-country team had finished first in the league and our last meet was the area championship. This would be our last meet as a team. Two of our runners, including Rachael Patton, were going to the state finals. So the area championship would be my last meet. I was looking forward to the meet, but sad at the same time. Being on the team had been a great source of joy to me. Coach Chambers told me that I was more than welcome to try out for the spring track team. She said that I would be a welcome addition. I told her I would be happy to try out, if I was still eligible.

"District rules state that anyone earning a letter in a sport is eligible to try out for other sports. Look, Erika, I know we got you on our team initially through a loophole, but that no longer matters. You also helped this team win a championship, and I fully expect you to help us compete tomorrow. Now, I know there is the issue of the scholarship contest. But is it still an issue for you?"

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "To be honest, I'm not sure anymore. I am very comfortable with myself right now."

"I suspected as much. Well, be ready for tomorrow's meet and we'll talk about track later."

Paul was waiting for me after practice. I climbed into his VW Bug. I leaned over and he kissed me. I was growing more and more comfortable about dating him. I was now fully accepted in his home and had been to dinner several times since my first combat dinner back in October.

"If you're unhappy now, you're really going to hate it when it gets cold," quipped Paul.

"Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. I wish they'd ease up on the dresses and skirts soon. Even the real girls have stopped wearing skirts and dresses!"

"They're trying to weed your group down some more. After all, they can't afford twenty-two scholarships," explained Paul as he drove me home.

"Twenty-two? So we must have lost a couple more!"

"Hey, don't worry about it. Everything happens for a reason," replied Paul.

Paul dropped me off and we kissed good-bye. I walked quickly to the front door and entered.

"Hi, I'm home," I yelled, as I hung up my coat.

"How was practice?" asked Mom as she cut up some chicken breast.

I went into the kitchen, and as I helped her prepare dinner, I told her about school and practice.

We sat down and talked while dinner cooked. It was a chicken and rice casserole. I was excited about the meet and the last regular-season football game Friday evening. We were undefeated and could clinch the league championship against Red Hill, our rival. I began to notice that something was bothering Mom.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"We got a notice in the mail today. Mrs. Martin's assault trial is starting Monday, and they've subpoenaed you as a witness."

The memories of being attacked after the first home game were still fresh.

"I thought she was going to plea-bargain or something?" I exclaimed angrily. I just wanted this whole mess over.

"Apparently, she's claiming self-defense. The DA thinks that she's bluffing and hoping that you and the other witnesses don't show up. He told me that if you show up, she'll probably plead guilty."

"I'll do it. Besides, being in a courtroom can be used as extra credit in my Civics class!"

After dinner, I called Cat and told her about my chance to be a witness. She agreed with my decision to testify, but she warned me to be careful.

"Why? What do you know that I don't?" I asked.

"Jason is very vindictive. He might seek revenge against you. Did you know that he attends Red Hill now?"

"No, I didn't know that. Do you think he'd be stupid enough to show his face around here?" I asked.

"You're right, he's not that stupid. But if we win Friday, we'll play Red Hill again in the first round of the play-offs. The game will be at a neutral site, Pine Valley High. He's not banned from there. If you help put his mom away, he may try something."

"I'll have to tell my mom this!"

"She knows. My mom just told her," confessed Cat.

Naturally, Mom was worried and I had to beg to go to the game. She said that she would call the police in the morning and see if there was anything that could be done.

It didn't seem as cold the next morning; maybe I was getting used to the weather. Then again, I wasn't in a skirt today. Being it was the day of a meet; I could wear my warm-up sweats just like the rest of the team. I was really going to miss cross-country! Paul picked me up and drove me to school. I told him about the trial and the potential problem with Jason. He said that this meant that he would have to drive me everywhere to ensure my safety. I punched him lightly in the shoulder, and then I gave him a kiss.

School always flew by on the days of meets. Because the area championships were being held at the college, we got out of school early that day. It was pretty exciting to see all the top teams from the area. There were several teams from private schools, and they put much more emphasis on the sport. We knew that winning would be difficult. Coach Chambers told us to go out and run our best, and that we'd be winners in her eyes.

As we got in place for the start of the race, we were all pretty amazed by the size of the crowds. We were used to 20-30 students and family at best, and there were several hundred people there.

The team ran a great race. No, we didn't win. We finished fifth overall, which wasn't too bad as there were 21 teams entered. Rachael finished second overall and that was a great victory in itself. I had a good run but was definitely outclassed by many of the runners. I was just happy that I helped us as a team.

After a team photograph, we headed to Guido's for our traditional post-meet pizza party. Emotions were running a little high, as this was our last meet as a team. Coach Chambers stood up and thanked us for our great effort all season. She then named the letter winners. I felt a great sense of pride when my name was called off.

I rode home with Cat and Laura. Unfortunately, Paul couldn't be there as he was starting a new job. Because of his work on the student paper, he'd been selected for a special internship with the local newspaper. He was pretty excited and I was very happy for him, even though I was a bit disappointed that he wasn't at the meet.

With the meet behind us, we were now focused on the football game. My personal historian, Cat, told me that this week was usually filled with pranks. But in recent years some of the pranks had turned nasty. Students were warned that they would be suspended and possibly face criminal charges for any vandalism.

"The police used to turn a blind eye to the pranks, but they got out of hand," Cat informed me.

"Did the retaliation by the team a few years ago have anything to do with it?" I asked. I was referring to an incident in which some Red Hill students assaulted a couple of contestants and the football team went up there and got revenge by beating up the assailants.

"No, the bad blood had started long before that. Last year, a bunch of cars got vandalized during the game up at Red Hill – slashed tires, sugar in the gas tank, stuff like that. Almost caused a riot. Both schools were told to stop it," added Laura.

"And I thought everything was nice and happy out here in the country," I said with a laugh.

"At least we don't have gang wars and drug dealers on campus like California," said Cat.

"You forgot about earthquakes and riots too," added Laura.

"Yes, but at least it's warm there!" I replied.

"Cold? This isn't cold! Wait until January, and then it will be cold!" explained Cat.

"I hope they relax the dress code for us by then. The point has been made: skirts and cold and wind don't mix. I get it. I mean, I haven't seen either of you two wear one in the last couple of weeks.

"Poor baby," sniffed Cat, with a smile, "but you look so cute in them!"

That was it. I resorted to my secret weapon and starting tickling Cat. I soon had her pleading for mercy and forgiveness.

Chapter Twenty

The highlight of the school day was the pep rally during 6^th period. The school was smart to cancel classes, as everyone was distracted. In terms of the schedule and the playoffs, the game had little meaning. We knew that we would be playing them again next week. But in terms of pride, the game meant a lot. Alex told us that their goal was to win, without giving too much away for next week. But he hinted that they would try a few plays to plant the seed for next week.

I was showing my spirit that day. I was wearing a long gray skirt, a red turtleneck sweater, and my black leather boots. However, for the game I fully planned to be in jeans. The game time temperature was supposed to be 40. I'll admit it; I'm a California wimp when it comes to weather.

In the Pit, the feeling was electric. I noticed that there were a lot more rent-a-cops at the game, along with many real police. I saw Officer Bell, but he was too far away to see me. I pointed him out to Cat and Laura.

As usual, Willi led the team out. As expected, it was a rather tight game. Both teams played with caution. Next week's victory was more important. The game went into halftime tied at 7-7. I stayed in the Pit instead of walking around. I was a bit worried that Jason might be at the game. Paul told me that the word was out and that if he showed up he would be immediately reported to the cops. Still, I was a bit nervous.

The second half was a bit more exciting. Mike Jackson started it off by returning the kickoff for a touchdown. I had my camera out, but I got too caught up in the excitement of his run and forgot to take any photos! We scored two more times and the final score was 28-14. What was more important was that we were healthy. There was the usual party out at Alex's barn, but it ended earlier than normal, as the coach wanted them focused for the playoffs.

Paul drove me home and waited until I was inside. I appreciated his looking after me. As usual, Mom was waiting up for me. I told her about the game, over a cup of tea.

"So, how is it going between you and Paul?" she asked.

"We're fine, why?"

"I am a little concerned that's all. You two are getting closer all the time. Have you thought about the consequences?" she asked.

"A little."

"How does Paul see you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I took a sip of my tea.

"Look, I'm not judging you or Paul. But is he attracted to you because he sees you as a girl, or as a boy dressed as one?"

I sat there in silence for a moment. "I'm pretty sure he sees me as a girl."

"And the farthest you've gone is kissing?" she asked.

I would have been offended if anyone else was asking me these questions, but my Mom and I had always had a very honest and open relationship, "Yes, that is as far as it has gone, and, yes, we sometimes French kiss."

She smiled. "I just want you to be prepared if and when it gets a bit more serious."

"Oh." I knew what she was talking about. To be honest, it had been on my mind lately. Sexually, as a male, I was still a virgin; I had tried to lose it, but had been very unsuccessful. Oh, I'd had some sexual experience. I'd dated a girl who gave me a few hand jobs and even oral once. Now it occurred to me that I might soon be in her position.

"Look honey, it's normal to want to explore your sexual curiosity. I just want you to be safe."

"I appreciate your concern."

"I think that you and Paul do make a nice couple by the way," she added.

"None of this bothers you, even slightly?" I asked. I figured that, since we were having a heart to heart talk, anything was fair game.

"Concerned, yes; bothered, no. I think you are on a path of self-discovery. I'm here to help you, but you must find it on your own. Besides, you seem to be doing what is natural and right for you. To be upset with you for that, would be like being upset with you for having nicer hair than me," she answered with a smile.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded. With that we embraced and had a long hug.

"So, how long have you been jealous of my hair?" I asked with a laugh.

 

Chapter Twenty-One

I was held out of school Monday because of the trial. I was nervous, but also excited. It was egotistical, but it would be fun to be the center of attention. Mom told me I watched too much TV.

Mom ensured that I dressed up and looked professional. I was in a skirt and matching jacket. I was wearing a white blouse underneath. She checked my makeup and was pleased. She told me that the cross-examination might get nasty and personal.

"I hadn't thought of that," I replied.

"Hmm, maybe you haven't been watching too much TV! They always badger the victim in those shows."

"Thanks for making me feel better. Gee, now I remember all those horrible bedtime stories you told me that traumatized me when I was younger!" I replied sarcastically.

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" she added with a smile.

We arrived in the court and were briefed by the DA. He told me that he would present his list of potential witnesses in the opening brief. He told us he'd be shocked if she didn't try to cop a plea.

I looked around the court and saw many people I knew. Mrs. Lee was there too. I think a lot of them were there to see Mrs. Martin get knocked down a notch. She had bullied and threatened the community for years, and now her enemies were there to see her fall. I almost felt sorry for her. I was more pissed with Jason. He was sitting behind her table with the rest of his family. He looked over my way once and glared at me. I returned it with my best stare. Childish, yes, but I wasn't going to cower in front of him again.

The judge entered and we all stood up. I was keeping notes. I wasn't kidding when I told Mom that I could get credit for being here. She asked if I'd get credit if I were the defendant.

As promised, the DA went through the list of potential witnesses and said that he planned to show four different videos of the assault. Mrs. Martin looked back and saw the packed courtroom. I watched as she whispered to her lawyer. He stood up and requested a conference with the judge and the DA. The court was placed in recess. The DA looked over at us and winked. I'd leave that out of my report.

Thirty minutes later, they returned. Mrs. Martin stood up and changed her plea to guilty. She was sentenced to sixty days in jail, two years probation, and 300 hours of community service. The sixty days in jail would be suspended if she attended anger management classes.

I heard some in the crowd complain that she got off lightly. I was okay with the sentence. I felt Jason staring at me as we walked out. I decided to ignore him and kept my back turned toward him.

"Well, since this finished so early, I imagine you'll be coming back to class," stated Mrs. Lee. "I'll be happy to give Erika a lift to school, Ms. Walters."

"Great! Couldn't I get a suspended sentence too?" I quipped, as I walked out with my principal.

Actually, we had a pretty good conversation on the way back to school. She told me how proud she was of the way I had fit into the class. I had to admit that knowing that she was following my activities made me feel good. We both hoped that this incident was over.

I arrived just time for lunch. I received a lot of compliments for my outfit.

"So, the trial ended before you could testify?" asked Laura.

"Yes. I think she accepted defeat when she saw the crowd there to get their pound of flesh. She could have faced a stiffer sentence if she was found guilty by a jury."

"Speaking of a 'pound of flesh,' I think that's what they're serving today in the lunch line!" quipped Cat.

There was an immediate chorus of groans.

"That joke was below even Erika's standards," stated Laura.

"I thought it was funny," I told Cat, "although the portions seem closer to an ounce here."

"See," replied Cat, "a pound's more than an ounce, so my joke is above Erika's!"

We all groaned again.

The rest of the week was relatively uneventful. The buildup to the game was making concentrating on class work hard. Luckily, the team seemed focused and didn't appear to be caught up in the hype.

The night of the game, we drove over to Pine Valley. Laura was at the wheel, even though Paul had volunteered. For some reason, no one wanted to sit in the back of his Bug. The drive to Pine Valley took an hour. When we arrived, they directed us to our lot. To avoid problems, the teams and their fans were kept separate. The stands were packed and the Pit was formed around the 40-yard line.

By having the better record, we were considered the "home team." Red Hill came out first with their mascot leading the way. They had a student in a hawk costume. He looked so lame compared to Willi as he ran out before the team.

We took the lead halfway through the first quarter on a thirty-yard pass by Alex. The Hawks fought back and soon had first and goal from the two-yard line. This time, it was Alex waving my old shirt above his head. I don't know if it was the reason or not, but the defense stiffened. After two rushing attempts, Red Hill lost three yards. On third down they attempted a screen pass to their running back. Mike sprinted in and intercepted the ball and returned it 94 yards for a touchdown. We were screaming and jumping up and down during his whole touchdown run.

The score seemed to break Red Hill's back, as they never came close to scoring again. We added two more scores and won 28-0. We were now going to the championship game vs. Crawford High. The game would be played at the local college next Saturday.

The road trip to Alex's barn was a joy. I felt so relieved, not only had we won but there'd been no sign of Jason. Paul told me that there were guys stationed all around us at the game, just hoping that he would show up and try to cause some trouble.

"Did you arrange it?" I asked him.

"No, it was set up by Alex and Mike, your guardian angels. Not that they were needed, because I was there to protect you!"

"I believe you would," I remarked as I leaned over and kissed him.

"You guys are sick," joked Laura.

"Yes, I agree with her. Why can't you be normal like us!" added Cat, who then leaned over and kissed Laura on the cheek.

"Hey, keep your eyes on the road. I can read tomorrow's headlines 'Four Students Killed in Car Accident: Police believe lesbian lust was cause'," joked Paul.

"Maybe, but I'm sure the story would focus on you two lovebirds," quipped Cat.

The party was fun but subdued. The team knew that they had to be ready for next week's game vs. the Mudlarks.

"Just what the hell is a Mudlark?" asked Mike.

"It's the local name for a songbird," answered Cat.

"Oooooh! Look out! Here come the vicious songbirds!" laughed Mike

"We'll just sic Willi on them," added one of the linemen.

"The only bird Willi would attack is a chicken sandwich," added Alex. "Let's keep focused. They are also undefeated and they're the defending champions. So, they're pretty tough birds. We didn't come this far to lose now!"

The room got silent as the team nodded in approval. I could see why Alex was the team leader.

On the way home, I asked Cat when she was going to try out for some game show.

"Maybe I should. I do have a wealth of useless knowledge in my head."

I knew that she had more than useless knowledge. She had a 4.0 GPA and was in the running for class valedictorian. She'd applied to several Ivy League schools and was in line for several scholarships.

Laura dropped Cat and me off at her house. She wanted to show me something. I kissed Paul goodbye and gave Laura a hug. We went into Cat's house and she showed me a letter from Cornell University inviting her to apply.

"Wow! That's fantastic!" I said as I gave her a long hug. We went into her room and accessed their website. She said she had time to make up her mind and that she was expecting a few more letters. Cat then asked me if I'd gotten anything back from schools I applied to.

"I won't be going to school unless I get this scholarship, we can't afford it. If I don't, then it looks like community college until I get some student loans," I explained.

"I know you will, besides, at worst you'll tie with Caroline. She told me last week about her decision. I think it's wonderful."

"So do I. I have to get home. See you tomorrow."

"You okay?" she asked.

I smiled back. "Yes, no problems."

I cut across the yard towards my house; it had been a great evening.

Chapter Twenty-Two

When I agreed to write my story down, I knew this would be one of the most difficult parts to write. My friends and family all agreed that I needed to include it in this account of my life in high school. I agreed with their advice, as it really happened and it had a huge impact on my life.

As I crossed the yard, I was suddenly knocked to the ground. I never heard him coming, and I was caught completely by surprise. I didn't have time to scream out, as someone was sitting on top of me, and he was holding something sharp to my throat.

"If you want to live, bitch, don't make a sound," he whispered. There was a vicious tone to his voice. I felt the blade press closer to my throat. I offered no resistance.

He was wearing a black ski mask and I could smell alcohol on his breath. He then took out a roll of duct tape and taped my mouth shut. Then he rolled me over on my stomach, pulled my hands behind my back, and taped my hands together. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't fight back against him He then pulled me to my feet and led me through the back yard and through the yard of the house behind us. He led me to a beat-up white van and pushed me in. He then taped my ankles together.

We drove away. I was praying that someone had seen us. Hopefully, he would be pulled over by the police. I knew it had to be Jason, and I had never felt so terrified in my whole life.

After driving around for a while, he pulled off the road. From what I could tell from my position, we were behind the strip mall, maybe five miles from my home.

He pulled me up to my knees and stared at me. I couldn't see his face, but I was still trying to memorize anything possible so I could identify him later; that is, if I lived.

He moved closer to me and I could see him smiling. I noticed that his right front tooth was chipped. I searched my memory to try and remember if Jason had a chipped tooth.

"So, bitch, you want to be a chick; well then, let's see how you can please a real man," he sneered.

To my horror, he unzipped and dropped his pants. He turned around the passenger side seat and sat down. He pulled me closer and then he began to stroke his cock.

I shook my head vigorously, but that only seemed to excite him more.

"Now, slut, get any crazy ideas out of your head, I'll kill you in a second if you try and bite me. I also don't want a peep out of you, except any moans of pleasure!"

There was no way out; I had to do whatever I could in order to survive, and so I could get my revenge. Yes, you bastard you are going to pay, I thought.

He moved my head closer to his cock and then he pulled the tape off my mouth. He pushed me closer. "Open your mouth, bitch," he demanded.

I tried to focus on anything else as he used me. I felt tears dripping down my face as he worked my head back and forth. I noticed that he had a large mole just to the right of his navel and I concentrated on it. I also prayed for help. He climaxed in my mouth and then pulled out and finished shooting his cum all over my face.

He reapplied the tape and pushed me back. He wasn't just content to use me, but he wanted to humiliate me too. I forced myself to remember every single detail. If I survived, I wanted to put him away.

As he sat there, I saw him take a drink from a bottle of something in a brown bag. The last thing I needed was for him to get drunk! He stood up and reached down and pulled me up. He then punched me in the face. He repeated this several times. Taking a drink in between punches.

He tired of this game after a few blows. By now, I couldn't see out of my right eye, and I could feel blood dripping out of my nose. In fact, my whole face hurt. I felt a growing fear that he would kill me.

He then rolled me over on my back. I felt him cut the tape from my ankles and he pulled my legs apart. I tried to pull away, but he was too strong. I felt him pull down my jeans and then my panties and gaff.

"Don't struggle, bitch, I know you want thish," he exclaimed, slurring his words.

I kept telling myself that this wasn't happening, and at the same time hoping it would be over soon.

I felt him wipe something cold and slick between my legs. I felt him press against me and violate me. There was no pleasure, only pain, fear, anger, rage, and hatred. Yes, I truly hated him and wished him dead. My hatred kept me going through it all. I felt him in me. I felt my tears pouring down my face. I tasted blood in my mouth. He then finished and pulled out of me. He pulled up his pants and took another drink as I lay there.

"Maybe I should just cut off your useless little cock; sluts like you don't need one of their own. You can always get some guy to fuck you!" he growled. He then pressed the knife against my male organs.

I held my breath and waited. Would this be how my life ended?

Thankfully, he pulled the knife back and then he then reached down and pulled up my jeans. "Now I'm going to be nice and let you go. Be a good little slut and go home and don't tell anyone," he ordered.

Unwillingly, I nodded – anything to appease him. He grabbed me and pulled me out the back door. I was dragged across the ground. He then lifted me up and tossed me onto the edge of a dumpster. I caught a glance at his van and made out the color and make. It was a white Ford van. I even saw the last three numbers of the plate. He then pushed me in. I found myself on my back surrounded by trash.

"Thish is what happens to trash, you slut!" he laughed, as he pulled away.

I waited until I heard the van drive away. I fought to get on my feet and, after twenty minutes, I worked my way out of the dumpster. Thankfully, he hadn't taped my ankles again. I knew I had to get away, just in case he changed his mind and came back. He had already raped me, he might decide to come back and kill me.

I was cold and in pain, but my mind was clear. Hate does keep the mind clear; it also kept me from passing out. I stumbled to the road and looked for help. It was difficult, as I could only see out of my left eye. I was able to pull the tape away from my mouth. I tried to get the tape off my wrists. Unfortunately, he had taped them too well. I looked around and tried not to panic. It was late and there were no cars in sight. I saw an apartment building in the distance, and I stumbled towards it.

I started shivering uncontrollable. I guess it was a combination of the cold and being so scared. I was terrified by the possibility of Jason returning.

Then I saw the headlights of an 18-wheeler approaching. I jumped up and down to get his attention. The sound of his air brakes was the most beautiful sound I could have heard. My legs immediately went weak, and I fell to the ground. I also started crying uncontrollably, almost hysterically. I guess it was from relief.

The trucker ran over to me. His eyes told me that I must have looked like hell.

He carried me over to his truck and carefully set me down. First, he called for help on his radio, and then he gently loosened the tape around my wrists.

"Help is coming, Missy. Hang in there," he comforted, as he cradled me in his huge arms.

Within minutes, I was in an ambulance and heading to the ER. I tried to tell the policeman everything. I wanted him to get the bastard. He radioed my description of my attacker and the van. He also called for a rape investigator to meet us at the hospital. As the EMT worked on me, I relaxed a little and then the pain of what had happened swept through me. I was now a rape victim!

The EMT was very calm and soothing and did his best to help me. The policeman was also very sensitive to what had happened to me. He apologized as they took samples from my face. I nodded and tried to say that it was okay. I wanted them to have evidence so they could get him.

I was taken into the ER and examined. The doctor was very nice. He told me that my nose might be broken and I had a post-traumatic shock. There was a cut above my right eye, which needed stitches. He told me not to worry, as the scar should blend nicely into my eyebrow. He promised that I would look fine. The eye wasn't injured and he put a cold pack on it to bring down the swelling. I also had a few bruised ribs. I wasn't sure how I'd hurt them. It had to have happened either during the initial attack or when I thrown into the dumpster.

He had to do a total exam, due to the nature of the attack. He worked with a policewoman trained to gather rape evidence. She had to take swabs from my mouth and my rear. The doctor told me that I might have some bleeding for the next few days. Additionally, he ordered the nurse to give me some medication for the pain.

They were both very cool and understanding. A detective came in and continued the questioning. The female police officer also took photos of my face and all the damage. I lost all track of time and have no idea how long they questioned me.

After they'd gotten the evidence they needed, they let Mom in to see me. Of course, she cried as she tried to comfort me. The doctor said that they were going to keep me overnight for observation.

By the time they moved me up to a room, the drugs had pretty much taken their effect. The physical pain was deadened, but the emotional pain was still strong. I gave in and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Chapter Twenty-Three

When I woke up, I was disoriented. There was an IV in my arm. I looked around the room and saw Mom asleep in a chair pulled up next to my bed. I also noticed Cat, Laura, and Terri asleep in other chairs.

I tried to sit up. I felt so stiff and sore. My nose and eye hurt, and I reached up to touch them. I didn't want to wake anyone, so I pressed the button for the nurse.

The nurse came in and smiled. "Well, I'm happy to see you're awake. How can I help you, dear?"

I tried to smile, but it hurt too much. "Can I have something to drink, please?"

"Sure, I'll be right back. I'll also tell the doctor you're awake," she announced.

I noticed that everyone was now waking up. "Good morning," I greeted them softly.

I still felt like hell, but having my friends and family there made me feel better. Nobody wanted to break the silence.

"I know I must look bad, but please, someone say something," I pleaded softly. I needed to hear their voices.

That broke the ice. They immediately expressed their concern for me.

"When did you guys get here?" I asked, as I slowly sat up.

"We drove your mom here. Laura arrived shortly afterwards with everyone else," explained Cat.

"Everyone else?" I looked around the room.

The nurse came in and brought me a sports bottle filled with water. Thankfully, it had a straw built in. As I took a sip, I winced from the pain in my lips and jaw. The nurse then showed me how to adjust the bed.

"That reminds me, I'll go let them know you're okay," stated Laura. She got up and walked out of the room.

I looked over at Cat. "Who else is here?"

"The waiting room is packed with your friends," announced Mom, "including Paul."

"The word got out pretty fast, and they just started arriving," added Terri.

The doctor came in and checked my injuries. He said that the nurse would be in to remove the IV and she would also give me my medication. He wanted to get an x-ray of my face before he discharged me. He was concerned about my eye socket and also my nose. Fortunately, my teeth were all fine. He said he'd review the x-rays and I should be discharged in the afternoon, but that he wanted me to be back at the end of the week.

He reviewed the chart. "I'll need to remove your sutures, and check your other injuries. I should also have your test results back."

"Test results?" asked Mom.

"Yes, we had to test for HIV and any other STDs. It's standard in all rape cases," he explained. "There'll be a counselor here later to talk with you. I'll see you later, Erika."

As he left, I took a deep breath. "The good news just keeps coming doesn't it?" The reality of the situation hit me hard, and I started to cry.

Mom reached over and hugged me. I finally let it all out and started sobbing. I couldn't stop. I was angry, hurt, humiliated, frightened, and numerous other emotions. They all came pouring out in a stream of tears. Terri and Cat came over and put their hands on me. I don't know how long I cried; it seemed like hours.

"That felt good," I announced as I slowly regained my composure. I tried to smile but it still hurt. I also knew those wouldn't be the last tears I'd shed over this.

The nurse came in and removed the IV. She gave me my pain pills and explained their dosage. She said that she'd be back in an hour to take me to the x-ray room.

After she left, I told them all what had happened. Cat then told me that the police were looking for me when the trucker radioed in for help. She said that, after I left her house, she'd noticed that I'd left my purse in her room, and she called over and found that I had never gotten home. When they went outside, they saw the area on the ground where I had been tackled and found some duct tape. They immediately ran in and called the police.

"Do you think it was Jason?" Mom asked.

"I never saw his face, but he was the right size and shape. He obviously knew me and wanted to hurt me and humiliate me."

"Well, the police are looking for him and his van," Cat informed me.

"Not to change the subject, but can you help me up? I need to see how bad I look," I replied.

"Are you sure, honey?" Mom asked in a concerned tone. The look on her face told me that I looked pretty bad.

"Yes, knowing is better than imagining, and right now my imagination is running in overdrive."

They helped me up, and I walked stiffly over to the mirror. I really looked dreadful. My right eye was still swollen shut and was all multicolored. I saw the sutures near my right eyebrow. My nose was swollen and slightly bent. My lips were split and swollen.

"I suppose that it could be worse. This could have happened the week of homecoming," I quipped. On the outside I was trying to be brave. Inside, I felt like screaming.

I excused myself and used the bathroom. The doctor was right; there was a little bleeding. I went back to my bed and sat down on the end of the bed. Mom sat next to me and I rested my head on her shoulder. Thankfully, she sat on my left side.

Laura came back in. "I told everyone that you were awake, and that you appreciate them coming here, but that you wouldn't be taking visitors right now. As your self-appointed press secretary, I told them that I'd keep them updated on your status by e-mail."

"Thanks. By the way, please tell them not to waste their money on buying flowers or anything like that. I'm not dead yet."

"Sure thing, Erika. Paul is still out there. Do you want to see him?" asked Laura.

I sat there a moment. "Sure, just give me a second to get something on."

Cat grabbed my robe and helped me into it. I sat back down on the side of the bed.

Laura came back in with Paul. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink all night.

"Hi," I said, putting my hand up and waving slightly. "You look like you could use some sleep."

"I don't know what to say," he said. Paul's face said it all. He was running a range of emotions too.

"There's a first," I stated, trying to smile.

"Give her a hug, you idiot," exclaimed Cat.

Laura pushed him towards me. He came over and gently wrapped his arms around me.

"I promised that I would protect you. I'm so sorry I failed you. I'm sorry," he exclaimed.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I replied. I felt more tears forming.

The nurse came back and ran everyone out except Mom. A detective from the police force and a state trooper came in.

"Hello, Erika, I'm Detective Bill Parker and this is Sgt. John Webb. We need to ask you a few more questions about last night."

The few questions became much more than that. For the next two hours, I told them what had happened and tried to include every detail possible. I searched my mind for everything that might be useful.

Detective Parker closed his notebook and stood up. "I think we've got everything we need for now. We'll keep you informed of our progress. I just want to thank you for being so observant. We'll get him, I promise you that. I also want you to know that your being in the contest has absolutely no bearing on our investigation. We are treating this with the same priority as we would any other sexual assault."

The nurse was waiting for them to leave. They apologized for running a bit late. She pushed in a wheelchair.

"I can walk there myself, thanks," I announced, looking at the chair.

The nurse shook her head and pointed at the chair. "I'm sure you'd try, but you don't have a say in this. Please get in the chair. I've seen people in better shape than you pass out, and you've already been through enough."

I tried to smile and then moved into the chair. She wheeled me down to the X-ray room. The technician was very thoughtful and tried to minimize the pain as he moved me around. He was done in twenty minutes, and I was on my way back to my room.

When I returned, there was a woman talking to Mom. She was in her thirties and had her light brown hair pinned up. She was wearing a Penn State sweatshirt, jeans, and hiking boots. When she turned around, I could see she was also wearing glasses.

"Erika, this is Dr. Jennifer McCall and she needs to talk to you,"

"Please, call me Jenny," she stated as she held out her hand.

I was still in the wheelchair. I started to get up to greet her.

"Please, stay seated. As you've probably guessed, I'm the counselor you were told about."

As we started to talk, Mom got up and left. "It's okay, Erika, I asked her to leave. I prefer to conduct the first sessions without other people in the room."

We talked for over an hour. I immediately felt I could trust her. She explained that I would have good days and bad days, and not to expect to get over this quickly. She recommended that I see her weekly at first and then, if I felt comfortable, she would get me into group counseling. I asked her how they would feel about me being in the group. She said that they would be okay.

We talked about the range of emotions running through me, and she said that it was very common in someone experiencing a traumatic event. I asked her if these feelings and emotions would fade. She smiled and said that they do, but it takes time.

"How long?" I asked, trying to smile.

"It varies from person to person. You may never get over all of it, but you'll learn to live with it. You seem strong, adaptable, and you obviously have a lot of people who care about you. Don't try to get over this by yourself. It isn't a sign of weakness to seek help, but a sign of strength."

"I never thought this would happen to me."

"No one ever does, Erika. Here's my card, call me anytime; I mean it."

"Thank you very much. You've already helped me." I looked at the card. It was another physical reminder of how my life had changed.

She gave me a hug. "I know you think that your case is different because of your true gender, but I've helped other girls like you who have been attacked."

After she left, Mom walked back with the doctor. "Well, to start with, your eye socket is fine. We'll see how your nose looks after the swelling goes down. I can recommend an excellent plastic surgeon who can make any needed corrections. You're free to go home anytime. Now, if you have any problems, don't hesitate to come back in. See you Friday at 3:00. Take care, Erika." He then turned around and walked out.

"I hope you got all that," I said to Mom.

"Yes, I did. The important thing is that you can go home. We brought you some clean clothes. Besides, all your old things were taken as evidence," explained Mom.

"Okay, makes sense. Any word from the police?" I asked as I got dressed. I saw that she'd brought my favorite sweatshirt. I slipped on my panties and then my bra. I was happy that she'd brought my other set of breast pads.

"No, nothing yet."

"So, did they need my boobs for evidence too?" I asked, as I slipped on my jeans.

"Let me check, they gave me a list of what they kept. That's odd, they only list one. That means the other one may have come out during the attack."

She phoned the police and told the detective of this latest bit of information.

I slipped on my socks and loafers. I then looked in the mirror. Mom handed me a brush. I tried to brush my hair, but even that hurt. Still, I made myself look a little better. The rest of my face looked like I'd just been in a boxing match.

Mom stood behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. "The bruises will fade, honey."

"I know, I'm not worried about them," I answered softly.

"Sure, I understand," comforted Mom, as she leaned over and kissed me softly on the forehead.

The nurse came back in. "So, you look ready to go home, have a seat," she ordered, pointing to the chair. "Hospital rules, dear."

Cat, Laura, Paul, and Terri were waiting for us downstairs. I was wheeled outside and we waited for Terri to go get the car. It was cloudy and cold. The sky was a hard gray and there was a strong wind blowing that normally I'd have found unpleasant. That day the cold air felt so clean and refreshing. I stood up and turned in the direction of the wind. I closed my eyes and stood there with the wind blowing past me. I wanted it to wash through me and blow away my pain and troubles.

"Honey, the car is here," announced Mom, snapping me out of my trance.

I nodded and got inside.

Laura and Paul followed in his Bug. It felt good to be going home.

 

(continued)

  

  

  

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