Scenes from a Kid's Life

by Jan S

©2006 by Jan S

 

Group 3: Champagne, Ice, Crumbs

 

Champagne:

"Aunt Amy, can we borrow a knife, please?" Rocky called as she ran into the kitchen.

"And some matches," Ally added, following close on her heels.

The two kids had found a sure fire way to get the attention of the five grown-ups sitting around the kitchen. And even their baby cousin seemed to be watching them intently.

"WHAT?" Annie and Grace yelled at the same time; they didn't seem to know you were supposed to lock pinkies when that happened.

"Why," Larry asked calmly, "do you need some matches, Ally?"

"To ster'lize the knife," Ally answered.

"OooK," Larry said, "and what are you going to do with a sterile knife?"

"Cut our wrists." Rocky answered matter of factly.

"We're gonna 'come blood brothers. We'll be careful." Ally informed them, his head tilted all the way to the right, a grin on his face.

"Ahh, I see. – T.K.," Larry said, the last two syllables about three times as loud as the rest.

T.K. walked in laughing; he was pretty sure this wasn't real trouble.

Jim came too, just to watch, and did a quick survey of the room. His mother and Rocky's mother were unreadable, but they weren't real mad. His father was trying hard not to show he was amused, while his Uncle Steve didn't care if his amusement showed or not. His Aunt Amy was feeding the baby, and he couldn't see her face. His cousin, Benny, was very amused, but since his face was covered in green goop and he was six months old, that probably didn't matter. Ally and Rocky seemed befuddled and expectant, but that wasn't unusual.

T.K. said, "Hey, I did tell them to ask you for the knife and to sterilize it. It's Jim's fault; he told them they weren't really cousins."

"You don't need quite that much blood," Steve said as he got up and left the room.

Ally's head swung like a pendulum to the other side and he asked, "If Uncle Steve and Aunt Amy are both our aunt an' uncle, why aren' we?"

Grace said, "Cousin means you have at least one grandparent in common, but you two don't have to be related to be very special friends, and that is just as important as being cousins, even much more important."

"But we want to be!" Rocky said, "Aren' we even second cousins?"

Amy answered, "Second and third cousins refer to different generations. When one of you has kids and Ben has kids, they will be each other's second cousins."

Steve came back carrying a bottle of rubbing alcohol, cotton balls and a small needle. Grace said, "Steve, you're not actually going to do this to them!"

"Sure I am," Steve said, "You're not actually going to argue symbolism isn't important, are you, Grace? Go ahead, I dare ya'."

Grace was routed by that argument, so she said, "Go and wash your hands really, really well."

As Steve poured the alcohol over the needle in a saucer, Annie asked, "Are you both very sure about this? It's going to hurt, you know."

Both kids nodded vehemently and yelled "Yeah!" from the sink.

T.K. asked, "What about removed, like first cousins once removed? Is that what they are?"

"No," Amy said, "Removed refers to being of different generations, Ben's kids will be your first cousins once removed and you theirs. Your grandchildren will be his first cousins twice removed and so on. That's expert legal advice for free; I was in Wills and Estates before I learned that."

Larry said, "I think T.K. should do the honors; that way when their fingers get infected and fall off, they'll blame the right person."

"No," Grace said. T.K. was both hurt and relieved by her lack of faith.

Unfortunately, he was immediately pleased and distressed by Annie. "Grace, I think T.K. would be just perfect to perform this ceremony. I can't imagine a better officiator," she said.

Steve said, "T.K., wipe their fingers with alcohol first, and do them quickly so they don't have to keep the blood going."

"And not very deeply at all," Grace added, "we don't need a fountain."

"OK, guys," T.K. said, "Come on over here, and I'll make you blood brothers." Nervous about stabbing people or not, he was determined to seem confident and to play the role to the hilt.

Rocky put her right arm across Ally's shoulder, suddenly anxious now that it was about to happen. Ally's tell-tale bead was between his teeth, and he put his left arm across Rocky.

Rocky said, "Shouldn' we be blood sisters 'cus I'm a girl or something?"

"You can have blood sisters too, I think." Jim said.

"Blood cousins." offered Steve.

"Blood siblings," said Amy.

"Blood sisters is best," Rocky said. "It's easier t' 'splain."

"'K," said Ally.

T.K. asked, "Both blood sisters, Ally?"

"Uh-hah, it's better, 'guess, 'cuz Rocky's a girl," Ally said.

"All right, put your hands on the table." T.K. said, "No, your left hand, Al. It's closer to your heart." He appreciated symbolism too it seems. Ally put his right hand on top of Rocky's rather than replace the bead.

T.K. said, "After I poke you, squeeze it with your thumb to get a drop of blood out, like this. Then lock your fingers, make sure the bloody parts touch, and pull real hard, like this, and say…."

"Forever," Jim suggested.

T.K. said, "Forever, three times slowly: forever...forever...forever. Right together or it doesn't take. OK?"

Both kids nodded nervously.

"Dearly Belove-id," T.K. intoned, "We are gather-id here today to join this Ally and this Rocky in the bless-id state of Blood Sisterhoodliness...."

"Get on with it, Ham," Larry interrupted, mildly amused.

"OK, close your eyes real tight and get ready."

They were jabbed and both giggled instead of screaming – nurses hurt a lot more. Grown-ups were such scaredy-cats.

"F-f-forever...f-forever...f-forever," they said just right together. They appreciated symbolism too, it seems; they did feel different and special. They threw their arms around each other and got a round of applause.

Ally gave T.K. a big hug too and kissed his cheek even. T.K. didn't sometimes mind that as much kinda as he used to. Then Rocky did the same and T.K. blushed; then he blushed twice as much because he had blushed.

"We should do it for Maggie and Angie!" Rocky said.

"I can't do that," T.K. said, "dolls got no blood."

Ally and Rocky looked at each other, then at the ceiling. Some people just never get it, do they?

Ally said, "They're cousins already anyway."

Annie said, "Put some alcohol on your fingers again, and then I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"Good!" Rocky said and Ally nodded.

"Lisa's mama called and asked you two to come over for lunch. Or I should say you four; Maggie and Angie were specifically included."

"Is Cynthia coming too?" Rocky asked, very excited.

"That was the plan, I think," Annie answered.

"That means Rose will be there too. It'll be an Appleby fam'ly 'union!"

"You mean the other has Johanna? Cooool!" Ally said.

Jim said, "There's going to be eight of you in one house! Wow!"

Rocky threw her head back and her hands up. Ally slumped over the table. How was one supposed to deal with such ignorance?

Ally said, "You knooow who Maggie and Angie are, and Rose and Johanna are their other cousins."

"Yeah, Jim," Annie said, "the Appleby cousins are famous. They live in the 1890's, in all different parts of the country, and they have adventures and have books written about them. And still they will come and live with you if you want them to. How can you be so ill informed?"

"Unfortunately," Larry said, "when they move in with you, they bring a thick catalog of things for your parents to buy for them."

Rocky decided these people were getting close to teasing. She said, "Is it time to go yet?"

Ally turned to Rocky and said, "You know what we could do?"

Grace jumped in and said, "Wait, Ally, the bad news – you have to be back by two-thirty for some serious downtime."

Annie said, "Rocky, that means totally quiet time, understood?"

Ally didn't let Rocky answer. "Maybe we can have a New Year's Eve party with all the Applebys."

Annie sighed and said, "Rocky, did you understand me?"

Rocky said, "Yeah. Can we go now? We can take their nightgo...."

"Slow down, you two," Larry said, "and pay attention."

Uh-oh, those words never preceded anything good, and they noticed they were being tag-teamed too. These people had obviously been plotting something behind their backs.

"I want this clear now," Grace said. "If you're going to stay up until midnight tonight, you're going to spend an hour and a half on the bed reading and doing quiet things this afternoon."

"'K, 'K," Ally said, that was all way to far away to worry about now.

"We haven't got to the worst part," Annie said as she wrapped an arm around Rocky. "Rocky is going to be at home and, Ally, you will be upstairs over here for that time."

"WHAA!" Shock! Abhorrence! Heresy! Anathema!

"Either that or go to bed at the regular time tonight," Larry said. "At two o'clock today, you will have been here for seventy-two hours, Ally, and, except for your visits to Grama, almost every second of that you have been with Rock. You two sleep together, dress together, eat together, wash together, brush your teeth together. Do you even go to the bathroom together?"

Ally and Rocky blushed and almost giggled; they had only done that twice, but weren't about to discuss it in public.

"I'm certain ninety minutes apart won't cause your ears to fall off," Larry finished.

But could he be totally sure, just because it had never happened before? Ally and Rocky looked at each other. They were outnumbered by much larger foes. Eventually they decided, either by telepathy or empathy, that that was a long time away, and the sky might fall first or, although it was far less likely, the grownups might see reason and change their minds. So they would go along with it for now.

Ally said with great sadness, "While 'm gone, can ya' bring Bucephalus over an' my little 'corder an' Benny and his new...."

Larry said, "While you're getting the dolls, put the things you absolutely need for those ninety minutes in Annie's entry. I'll get Steve's wheelbarrow and bring them over."

Rocky asked, "When do we get to go?"

Annie said, "By the time you get all ready, it won't be totally ridiculously early."

Rocky had her coat on by the end of that sentence and was moving to the back door as she said, "Mama, can you call Cynthia and 'mind her to bring Rose' ni'go'n. Maggie can wear her new blue dress and her hair in a French brai..."

Ally followed doing the counterpoint, "They need to take their dolls too. I'll put Angie in her dress with the pearl buttons and her buckl...."

The door closed on the last words of both parts, but Annie answered the air, "The number is written down next door, and you are big enough to use the phone, but she will probably bring it anyway. Bye, My Love."

Larry said, "Have fun, Puddin'."

Grace added, "See you at two-thirty. I love you."

Jim and T.K. both laughed at these signs of early onset senility.

The stop next door took much longer than either Rocky or Ally had expected. Maggie and Angie had to be completely changed, and in their case that meant new bloomers and two new petticoats each, as well as new dresses, and then both had to have their hair fixed. (Things that neither Grace nor Annie would have dared try with their dolls.)

Ally had to find his new copy of The Book of Three (He had read it before, but never in a hard cover!) and put it in the entry. Benny (Ally's Benny, not Amy's) and two changes of his clothes and his bottle also had to be placed in the entry, along with Bucephalus and Ally's alto recorder (He had a tenor one too, but hadn't learned the fingering for it yet.) and music books. Ally's backpack had to be emptied in order to carry the things Maggie and Angie were going to need.

Then disaster struck: Maggie had misplaced her doll! The study and Rocky's room were ransacked in the search before she was found visiting three girls that were her height and were in a rock and roll band together. Then the two rooms were half unransacked, out of fear, I think, but it might have been consideration.

Finally, they dashed out, without gloves and with hoods down, into the almost January Midwest.

All right. Now I'm going to take a bit of revenge on screenwriters, playwrights and directors everywhere. You know, they never have to explain settings or describe rooms; they don't have to give details of appearance or clothing; movements, entrances and exits seldom have to be addressed at all. Of course, I draw attention to certain items by just mentioning them, but for creators of visual narratives all that is unimportant. Those things are only discussed with grips, gaffers and other lackeys, and then it all blends together in a general background texture.

So, we are going to move down the street, without a pan or a fade or a dolly truck, and continue this story and, since this will all blend together in Ally's memory, it remains a single scene for us. Try that Opie, I mean Howard. And while we're on the topic, how would you handle a string of sub-vocalized thoughts, Spielberg? You guys don't even like soliloquies anymore.

"Thus with imagined wing our swift scene flies in motion of no less celerity than that of thought...Play with your fancies and in them behold...a city on th' inconstant billows dancing, for so appears this fleet majestical holding due course to Harfleur. Follow, Follow! ...to France."

Or at least to Lisa's house, five doors down the street.

Ally and Rocky reached Lisa's walk hand and hand at the end of a noncompetitive skipping contest but, as they started up the walk, Ally suddenly got much slower than Rocky. Annie must have foreseen the troubles getting ready, because while they weren't totally ridiculously early, they were slightly ridiculously early. However, they were close enough to the right time for Lisa to open the door before they got to the porch.

"Hi, Rocky. Hi, Maggie. Hi, Angie," Lisa called from the door.

"Hi, Lees; is Cynthia here yet?" Rocky said.

"No, she can't come 'til after lunch becuz her grandmom is here."

Once Ally got in the door, Lisa said hi to him and Ally answered, not so loud that anyone could hear, but they both saw his lips move.

Lisa was wearing off-white cargo pants with lots of pockets – even some below the knees, a long-sleeved red knit shirt and thick argyle socks. Her very blonde hair was in a bun because she was dancing at her church that evening. .

She took Rocky's coat and hung it up for her. Rocky had on forest green corduroy overalls and a very pale green sweat shirt with a store name in silver sequins on it (It might have once been white and gotten washed with almost anything else Rocky owned.), and teal trainers over kelly green socks. Her hair was braided in new pigtails.

Ally was left to find a hook for his own coat, but it wasn't hard. He was wearing jean-cut navy corduroys and a roll neck sweater that was knitted out of different colors of yarn, so it looked like it had small horizontal stripes of bright red, bright yellow, burgundy, mustard, dark blue, tan and dark brown. His shoes were white and so were his crew socks. His hair was parted in the middle and was now kept just long enough to make a ponytail (his preferred way to sleep these days). It hid his ears and, if he had had a regular collar, it would have reached the bottom of it.

Rocky said, "This is Ally. We just 'came blood sisters today; see." Well, Rocky was sure she could see a tiny red spot on her fingertip anyway.

"How do you become that?" Lisa asked and after Rocky explained, rather than be excited and happy for them, she said, "Eww, gross." Then she asked Ally, "Why did you bring Angie out without her cape? She could get a cold."

Ally felt bad; he had tried to zip Angie inside his coat, but couldn't, and this attack on his mothering skills by a stranger seemed a bit much. He had to explain that he had only got Angie this Christmas and that he didn't have her cape yet.

Lisa said "Really, I thought Rocky said you were ten. I got Johanna when I was seven. This year I got her a new dress – she has five now – and her desk and her canopy bed."

Ally could not think of a good excuse for waiting so long to get Angie, but did have a mild comeback. "Angie has three dresses already and a canopy bed too."

"I also got a new charm bracelet and this locket of real silver and a new 'puter game to design clothes with," Lisa said.

I think I should explain. Lisa isn't always this catty – well, she can be a lot worse actually – but she isn't always. Just over four months ago, she'd learned that she had been downgraded from co-bestest friend to mere co-best friend, and she had not taken it too well. This is her first meeting with the new, and solo, holder of the title she used to share with Cynthia. She didn't really think this was the best way to get the title back, but it had presented itself.

"Oh, I got a locket too," Ally said, and he wondered if bragging was contagious. He also felt what he was saying was sort of a lie. "Grama gave it to me, and it is really, really old. It's a silver heart and has an angel like carved into it." The truth was that his grama had told Steve to give the locket to Danni and that is what the gift tag had said, but the package had been delivered to Ally to keep safe for Danni forever. (The last five times he had seen his grama, she had called him Danni.) Grace had removed the pictures of herself and her sister as very young girls and replaced them with pictures of Grama and Danni.

Lisa asked if she could see it and was told that it was only for very special occasions. She tilted her head just enough to imply that she didn't consider such things real presents.

All right – hmmm. This party is going to last for three hours, and a lot is going to happen that I want to tell you about, but we don't need to witness everything. Actually, I've already discovered we can't; my perspective, it appears, is limited to what helps the narrative. So I'm going to cut from important conversation to important conversation and leave out much of what happens in between. Yes, yes, I'm going to do a montage in text. I know – I'm stealing this from movies; Howard and Spielberg could probably do it better. And right after I gloated about my advantages over them too. Doesn't it always turn out that way? So imagine a split screen with these bits flashing up on different parts or something like that:

****

Lisa quickly agreed to the New Year's Eve party idea (At last, one point in her favor; she did have an absolute veto, it being her house and all.) and even thought the Applebys should be in their nightgowns if they were going to be up that late, but decided that it was only polite to wait for Cynthia to get here with Rose before they were changed. She admired Maggie's French braid and decided to give Johanna the same. Ally had Angie's hair in an Alice-In-Wonderland, and Lisa prodded him to do a French braid too, until he admitted that he didn't know how.

"That's 'cause you keep your hair so short. Does your mother want you to be a boy or something?

Ally opened his mouth to explain; he said, "I – can get it ready faster this way. 'guess." When he started to say something else, it just wouldn't sound right.

He watched Rocky and Lisa do Johanna's and Angie's hair and almost learned how to do it.

****

During lunch Lisa said, "Gosh, maybe you're not such a tomboy after all. I mean, Rocky told us about you and soccer and building houses and stuff, but at least you eat like a human and not like a boy, the way Rocky does sometimes.

Ally knew that the only reason he was eating slowly and politely was because he was in a strange place. "I just like little bites sometimes. Sometimes I eat lots faster," he said. He really wanted to say more but couldn't.

Rocky stuffed an entire quarter sandwich in her mouth and said, "WWat yoooa meaon Yi aat wike ya bouy?"

Ally and Lisa laughed really hard and got their hands ready to slap her back when she choked, but she didn't.

****

"My teacher says I'm not s'pose to go on point yet ever," Lisa said, "but I can, see? Try it." And then she did a pirouette, but not on point.

Rocky was able to get on to her toes and stayed there almost a whole nanosecond. Ally couldn't even get close.

Lisa said, "Ally, you should take lessons. You're real narrow the way a bal'rina should be."

Ally shook his head. He thought Lisa looked wonderful doing her moves, but one person's sneer one time had ruined the idea of taking dance lessons for him forever.

****

Cynthia finally (!) arrived. Everyone ran to the entry; Ally stopped at the door. She was wearing a rainbow-striped stocking cap with three different colored pompoms and a dark blue canvas coat with red collar and cuffs. She had on denim jeans with the cuffs rolled up to show the plaid lining. When she took her hat off, Rocky and Lisa went wild (Ally would have gone wild too, but he was way too busy being shy.). Every hair on her head had been strung with beads about half way up; there must have been about a thousand beads, they thought. Her black, straightened hair wasn't braided, just pulled through, and then each strand was tied off. Unfortunately, she said, her brat little cousins had used a bunch of the beads, but they could all do theirs when the brats went away. Ally was very disappointed because he knew he would be gone by then too.

Then Cynthia took her ugly coat off, and Ally saw something even more wonderful. She was wearing a yellow very, very fuzzy v-neck sweater with little silver beads sewn around the collar that he thought was magnificent. Rocky and Lisa didn't pay any attention to it, but Ally wished he could just touch it or, at least, say how great it was.

Cynthia finally noticed Al, and ran over to him and said, "You must be Ally. I've been hearing about you for ages and ages and ages, and now I get to meet you. It's like meeting someone real famous. I'm Cynthia."

Ally grew a huge smile and managed to say an audible, "Hi."

Then Cynthia said, "That's a really neat sweater. It's got so many colors."

Ally replied, "I think your sweater is real great too. Can I pet it?"

Cynthia giggled and said, "Sure, it doesn't bite." And Ally giggled and blushed at using that word too (Being shy is counter-productive, isn't it?).

Cynthia rescued him. "Wanna swap?" she said.

Ally was startled by the generosity, he said, "Huh?"

"Not forever. I'd get skinned if I didn't wear it home." Cynthia rolled her eyes to stress that. "Just for t'day."

"But I might mess it up," Ally objected.

"Then you buy me a new sweater. That's what parents are for." Cynthia giggled; she wasn't nearly that mercenary or callous, and she trusted Ally.

When Ally got the sweater on, he didn't even think about being in someone else's house and went and stood on a chair so he could look in the mirror in Lisa's living room. Cynthia's pale blue turtleneck had looked better under it than his royal blue crewneck, but he thought that he looked pretty.

****

First, Rose's hair had to be fixed like Maggie's, Angie's and Johanna's was. Then they were changed into their nightgowns. Of course, Cynthia had brought Rose's nightgown just in case. While everyone was busy changing the Applebys, Lisa said, "I hope I get Angie some day; she has the prettiest ni'gown – 'cus a' the lacey ruffles on the front and cuffs– and I want a nightie like it."

Ally said, "They can get each other's clothes and stuff; they trade things in the books. Can't they?" He had Rose's bed and hoped this was permitted.

Lisa said, "Yeah! Shoot, now I gotta wait for my bird'day."

"I like the yellow ribbons on Johanna's n'gown. It's my fav'rit color," Ally said.

Cynthia said, "My favorite is blue, either bright like your shirt or real light like mine," and lifted up Ally's sweater to show everyone.

"Mine is either pink or red, can't 'cide," Lisa said.

Ally said, "Rocky's is purple." And everybody laughed except Rocky.

Finally, Rocky said, "Na-uh, I really like orange!" and started laughing too.

Rocky asked Ally, "You gonna wear your nightie like Angie's for the party t'nite?"

"That was sent by 'stake, I think," Ally said, "'Cuz I never wear 'em."

"But ya can wear it once; you brought it. It'll be pretty, and I'm gonna wear mine to match Maggie's ni'gown."

"I'll ask Mom if it's 'K. Maybe I could wear Da -- the locket too, 'cuz it's an 'casion," Ally said.

"If you never wear nighties, what d'ya wear to bed?" Lisa asked.

"Ni'shirts – ol' T-shirts, mostly."

"See," Lisa said, "your mom does want you to be a boy."

"Gah, Lees," Cynthia said, "I wear T-shirts a lot too. She doesn't have big brothers, Ally, You don't know 'bout hand-me-downs, Lisa. Wait 'til Scot wears your old nighties someday."

Lisa and Cynthia started laughing.

Ally started to say something but still couldn't make the words sound right, so he laughed too.

Then Rocky did.

****

At exactly ten hours and thirty minutes before the real time the top was popped on the champagne. – Well, it was sparkling cider, but it popped and fizzed and did all the important stuff. – All eight of them kissed all eight of them and yelled "Happy New Year" and then went outside and popped a whole bunch of those things that pop when you throw them down hard.

None of the Applebys seemed at all cold, in spite of being out in just their nightgowns.

****

"Really, you've only read four of the Appleby books? What do you read then?" Cynthia asked.

"Right now I'm reading the Prydain series 'gin. It's really neat! I got all five in hardback for Christmas," Ally said.

"What's it 'bout?" Cynthia asked.

"This boy named Taran," Ally said; then he smiled as he added, "He's an 'sistant pig-keeper."

Rocky laughed; she had just finished reading the series, and that was what you should say to someone who hadn't read it.

"Eww, bluck," Lisa said, "and you like that?"

"No, it's real, real good, Lees. I'll lend it to ya," Rocky said.

"Lend it t' me first. I want to read it," Cynthia said.

Ally said, "I was almost Taran for Hol'ween this year. It's great."

"My mom wouldn't let me be even a vampire," Lisa said, "I gotta be something girl. But you two are part boy anyway, I think."

Cynthia was appalled that Lisa would say something like that, but Rocky thought it was kinda funny.

Ally started, "I real..." but couldn't get it to sound right.

****

As he and Rocky got their coats on, Ally said, "Thanx for invitin' me. It was lots and lots of fun."

Lisa said, "Bye, Ally, nice to meet you. You are really nice, even if you are almost as much a tomboy as Rocky," and gave Ally a good hug.

Ally said, "I'm not really a tomboy, I'm..." but what he wanted to say just wouldn't sound right.

Lisa said, "I know! Your mom keeps doing boy stuff to ya'. Make her stop!" and stomped her foot, which made Ally laugh.

Cynthia gave him an even better hug and said, "I think you're even sweeter than Rocky, and I didn't think that was pos'ble. Make your parents move!"

****

Screen goes totally white. The whole screen does a slow fade-in to Rocky and Ally walking up the street. Ally is about six steps behind with a backpack over just one shoulder. Both carry there dolls, who are still in their nightgowns; Rocky carries hers with her arm across her chest; Ally's dangles at his side by just one hand as if she has no feelings at all. Just as the screen reaches full brightness, Rocky turns around and says:

"You u'set 'cus they thought you were a girl?"

Ally shook his head; some things were bothering him, but that wasn't one of them at all. He said, "You didn' tell 'em I was, di'cha?"

"'Course not. Why would I?"

Ally just shrugged; he had never imagined Rocky had, but he wondered how they didn't know he wasn't a girl. Rocky slowed down so they could walk together and took Ally's hand.

There were three things that did bother Ally right now. The first was not that he had never told Lisa and Cynthia that he was a boy, that didn't bother him at all. But it bothered him a lot that it didn't bother him. He took honesty seriously, and lies of omission usually counted to him. The second thing was that he had tried to tell them the truth, but every time he had started to, it had felt like he was about to tell a lie. He could not understand that.

It was too close to the beginning of his life and too close to the events for him to think about them so clearly, however. He knew there were two things, and he knew what they were, but that is not the same as being able to put a name to them. It was a confusion to him rather than a puzzle. So he could not talk about these things yet. Not even to Rocky, and that was a gigantic 'even'.

The third thing was clearer to him. He could talk to Rocky about it and finally, he said, "I suck at being a boy, and I stink at being a girl."

Rocky stopped walking and let go of Ally's hand. Then she put her hand on Ally's forehead like she was checking for fever – a strange gesture, but something she liked to do when people were feeling bad. She started to say that Ally was wrong about both, but then realized – or rather felt – she had no idea what being good at being a boy or at being a girl would really mean. Instead she said, in what she thought was a huge understatement, "You are the best – the most very most bestest Ally in the whole wide entire universe."

Ally took her hand again and wordlessly dared her to try to beat his new world-record-breaking highest skip ever. And she did!

 

**** ****

Ice:

"Fields or doors, Ally? Jenny?" Jim asked.

"Fields!" they said together.

"Are you nuts?" Gail said, "It's below 20 degrees out there."

"Yeah," Ally said. "Ms. Welton will probably cancel outside recess 'gin."

"'Sides we aren't old and decrepit like all of you," Jenny added.

Jim tried to do a creaky old person's voice, "That's right, Young-un, life ends at thirteen, and then it's all downhill."

"No kidding," Jenny said, "Look at T.K., he's already dead, just still moving."

T.K. said, "Just let them out on this side, then we can go behind the field house and skip the kiddy line."

"He speaks!" Jenny shouted. Those were his first words since he had gotten into the car, and she had a totally unrequited crush on him.

"You want to get out here?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, that's better." Ally said. The lower school carpool line was extra long because of the cold weather, and they could play soccer longer if they ran across the fields.

"OK," Jim said, "but take your stuff to the pavement before you start playing, and keep your hoods up and your coats zipped."

"Yes, Mothhheeer," Ally said with an excessive amount of exasperation in his voice. Then he stuck his tongue out at the back of Jim's head and Jenny followed suit. They thought it was a waste of a perfectly good expression, but they had forgotten about the rearview mirror.

"Don't stick your tongues out at me, or you'll have to walk to school tomorrow," Jim said.

Jenny said, "Oh no, he already has parent eyes, poor old thing."

T.K. said, "Hurry or you're going to make us late again; just get you stuff and go."

Jenny and Ally rolled their eyes at each other; every morning they were in the car at least five minutes before anyone else, and every morning they were accused of making the others late while they were getting out.

Ally said bye and closed the door.

Jenny said, "Good bye, T.K., it has been a pleasure talking to you," then closed her door.

Gail turned around and smirked at T.K.

He said, "Don't look at me like that; I'm nice to them in the afternoons, aren't I? You don't have to ride back here with them first thing every day."

"T.K., you need to start drinking coffee or go to bed earlier," Gail said.

Ally and Jenny ran over to the game field and took a sharp right; they would have had to be chased by several tigers before they would have stepped onto that piece of ground. Then they jogged towards the tiny creek that bisected the school's land. Just as they turned to follow the creek that would bring them to the two practice fields that served as the lower school playground, they heard several teachers start clapping their hands and saw that even Ms. Yunger, herself, had come out to chase everyone inside. She was the Lower School Head and always smiled and joked and knew everyone's name, but she was also the person you saw when you got into really bad trouble, so, even if that had never happened to them, all the students thought she was the most intimidating person in the world.

Ally and Jenny, with no more reason to hurry, slowed to a walk and strolled along the creek. The creek was about three feet wide at its widest and two feet deep at its deepest, but its banks were totally unkept so it was hidden by thick brush, and only the most intrepid of salamander hunters ever ventured down to it. (Which, of course, was the reason the area was unkept.)

When they had just reached the far side of the game field, Ally and Jenny heard a splash and then sobs. They went over to the edge of the thicket and saw a boy sitting in the water with ice cubes (really, very thin sheets) floating around him; he kept putting his head in the water as he cried.

Jenny whispered, "Do you know who it is?"

Ally nodded and said, "He's in the new class." (The school added a roomful of students at fourth grade but didn't mix them in until fifth.)

Jenny said, "I'll get Ms. Hawkins." She dropped her books and sprinted away.

Ally called, "Hell-O."

The boy said, "Damn it. Damn it. Just go away. Go away and leave me alone."

Ally made his way through the brush and said, "Aren't you cold?"

"'Course I'm cold, Idiot. – – – goddamn mother-fucking asshole shit headed bastard sonofabitch."

Ally tried not to be impressed; he had heard his peers use all those words but never so smoothly or all at once; even T.K.'s friends weren't so eloquent. He reached the edge of the creek just beside the boy and said, "Com'on, you're gonna get sick."

"I wanna. I wanna. I wanna die. – Just go – Goway! Goway."

"Wha' hap'ned?"

"None ur 'amn bidness – u so lucky, Ally, play with girl, OK. With boys; lots a friends, no one mind, can do anything, every like; not me...teased, laugh. Wish I wa' b you."

"Come on; Let's go." Ally looked for Jenny and grown-ups; he saw trees and bushes.

"NO! No. – I – just fix'n Tam's hair, call pussy; just fix'g 'er hair, six. Cry woul coul'n' – so he hit – he not 'pose to there, he s'po to 'gone. No' father real, you know that – he not. Hate 'im! He- he – 'cus a me, 'cus I horrible."

Ally tried again softly. "C'mon inside."

"Shit,fuck,damn go go who care's – 'bout me. No on – I can't nothing – go! – Hell hit again."

Ally had come to the end of his words. He had to do the only thing he had to do. He sat in the water and tried to put an arm around the boy, but the boy's head jerked away and he yelped in fear.

Ally saw the red mark turning blue on half the boys face, The boy yelled, "Go away!" then moaned, now much quieter, "die, die... always wrong – 'ca him. He'll kil'. I wish wo'd then be dead."

Again Ally put his arm around the boy, much, much more carefully; this time keeping his hand far from the boy's head. He found eight more words, but only eight: "I will be your friend forever. Don't die."

"No don' wan – Not with him. He hate.... Damn fu – bas – ," and now the boy had also come to the end of words.

I am a narrator. I can tell you all that happens around me if it helps this story; I can hear and report sub-vocalized thoughts; I can interpret minute emotional responses, often better than the character can. But all I interpret, hear or tell depends on the dramatis personae within my perception. Now there was no thought, no act, no time.

Jenny was the first person Ally saw. Mr. McGee, his teacher, was the first to reach him. Ms Hawkins was right behind. Mr. McGee picked Ally up. He carried Ally out of the thicket. Without putting Ally down, he made a call on his cell phone.

"I'm 'K," Ally said, "Help 'im. – Don't call his father—Don't call his father. – Help 'm—I'm 'K."

Ms. Hawkins, Jenny, and the boy came out. He wasn't resisting, but he wasn't helping. Mr. McGee put Ally down. He went back to the others.

Mr. Jeffers, the grounds keeper, was coming on his cart very fast. He stopped and Ms. Welton, the nurse, got on. They sped past Ally to the others. The boy was wrapped in a blanket. Two big bags were pushed off the cart. The boy was put on the back. Mr. Jeffers wrapped Ally up and carried him to the cart. Jenny rode up front, Ms. Welton on the tailgate. They went to the back door. Mr. Jeffers carried the boy in. They disappeared.

Ally said, "Don't tell his dad. Don't. Don't – don't."

Ms. Welton led Ally and Jenny past the lunchroom ladies into the hall. She removed her gloves and rubbed her hands. She felt their necks and foreheads. Ms. Yunger was there; she felt their necks too. She guided Ally and Jenny towards the office. Ms. Welton was gone.

Ally said, "Don't let him take him; don't tell him."

They got to the office; Ms. Yunger said, "Yolanda is Dr. Paulsen on her way? Jenny, who drove you this morning; did you come together?"

Jenny said, "With Jim."

Mr. McGee had just come in from the front. He said, "Ally's brother, a senior."

"Ally, go into my office and take off everything that is wet. Jenny, you too in Eliz...Ms. Chen's. There are towels for you. No one will come in. We will get you more blankets and clothes. Elizabeth, can you get some soup or broth for them from the lounge before you go to the infirmary? Yolanda, have Patty page Jim Greyson and tell him to drive to the backdoor – tell her to open the bookstore and get three – six sets of sweats,...

Ally said, "Don't call his father; don't let him come please!"

"...youth medium or smallest adult. Send them with Jim. Have him stop by the field house for six pairs of socks. Don't tell her anything else now, Yolanda, there isn't time anyway. John, your class? Peggy's?"

Mr. McGee said, "In art, Trish is free 'til 9:30. Peg's has scheduled gym. She's in the infirmary."

Ally said, "Don't tell his father. He's scared. Don't tell him. Don't let his father come!!"

"Good, stay here. Call Mr. Larski or his associate, Kandon or something. Tell them all you know. Tell them I say hospital, definitely, and to let the hospital report first. Dr. P. will want to know what he said as soon as she gets here. Don't let anyone in with them except...."

Ally screamed! "Don't Tell His Father! Don't!! Don't Let Him Come!!!"

Ms. Yunger wheeled on Ally, in the process she went from eighty mph to ten. She put a hand on Ally's arm and two fingers under his chin – she looked into his eyes – she spoke very slowly: "Ally, I will not tell anyone – I will not leave him alone with anyone – I will not let him go with anyone – until I am thoroughly, totally, positively certain – that he will be absolutely, completely, utterly safe. – I promise. – I promise. – I promise."

She raised her eyebrows and waited patiently. Ally nodded once, and she got back to eighty like her name was Unser instead of Yunger. "You two hurry, out of the wet things. Giddy-up. And rub your legs and eat your soup! John, no one in there except Linda; she will check as soon as the other one is OK; Jim with Ally, I guess. Yolanda, call me in the infirmary with his pediatrician's number, then call some coach and have someone get six pairs of socks out to Jim Greyson; tell them to steal them. There have to be twelve clean socks in there somewhere." She was out the door on her way to the infirmary before she finished.

With his nod, Ally's speed had dropped even faster than Ms Yunger's had. It had started higher and ended slower. Now he was suddenly very, very cold. He and Jenny turned and headed towards the back offices, and Jenny asked, "Who was that kid, Ally?"

It took a lot more words than he wanted to speak right now, but Ally managed to say, "Joseph Edwards."

 

**** ****

Crumbs:

Benny fell right on the top of his head and rolled down three steps.

Ally sighed very, very deeply. He had been trying to carry Bucephalus, Angie, Benny, Andre (Why do skunks always have French names?), a brush and a ponytail holder all at the same time and to keep them all comfortable. And his nightie kept sliding off his shoulder because the twelve buttons, which were in back, were all unbuttoned too. He sat everybody down, hiked up his sleeve and then tried to pick all of them back up.

Jim came around the corner and looked up the stairs. He smiled at Ally's predicament but only because Ally was turned the other way and couldn't see him. He said, "Ally, what are you doing? Trying to get me in trouble? You're supposed to be asleep."

"I need help with my buttons," Ally said, "and with my ponytail."

Jim had seen Ally in bed, in a nightshirt and with a ponytail (which Ally fixed without help every night) a half hour ago. He walked up the stairs to Ally and said, "What happened to what you were wearing?"

"It had toothpaste or something on it." It was a horrible excuse, but it was the best Ally had been able to come up with.

"And you don't have anything left that you could get into alone? You hardly ever wear this one," Jim asked as he started on the buttons.

That would have defeated the whole purpose, Jim. "I wanted to wear this tonight," Ally said.

Jim looked at Angie, Benny, Bucef and Andre. He knew Ally didn't usually need this much company to walk downstairs. "Does this have something to do with yesterday, Al?"

Ally was perfectly still and perfectly quiet. That was more affirmative than any affirmative answer could have been.

Jim said, "Want to watch this movie with me? I have to watch it for English class."

"'K. Is T.K. watching too?"

"Nah, he's upstairs playing with his dumbbells."

"You mean Carl and Greg are here?"

Jim laughed, mainly over how fast the promise of company had cheered Ally up. He had finished the buttons and the ponytail and asked, "Do you have something on your feet? Lift up your hem so I can see."

Ally lifted his nightie up to his knees. He was wearing the bright yellow and bright red striped socks that had been part of his witch's costume last Halloween. T.K. had been able to get out of art class just before the lower school parade and party; he had helped Ally paint his whole face green, paste on the ugly nose and eye brows, and ratted Ally's hair. Ally had looked spooky enough to impress everybody, and even the worst of the boys had not mentioned that the costume included a dress. The only problem was it took two whole days to get all the tangles T.K. had made out of his hair. Ally was thinking about maybe being a good-witch next year.

Jim picked up the skunk, the two dolls and the brush, leaving only the horse for Ally, and took her hand.

Halfway to the den, Ally said, "I felt lonely."

Without letting go of her hand Jim pulled Ally's arm around so he could have an arm across her shoulder.

"Mom and Dad really didn't want to go tonight, you know. It's more a meeting than a party. They thought you were doing OK but were still very worried. But they have bosses too."

Ally sighed. He didn't want anyone to get in trouble or to worry about him or to even stay home. He just wanted them to be here.

"They are proud of you," Jim said.

"PPhfffft." (That's not exactly the sound Ally made, but it's as close as I can get to it.)

"Ally," Jim exclaimed, not loudly, "you're a hero."

"GruPhpffftt" (Ditto previous parenthetical.) It was when Jim talked this kind of nonsense that Ally realized Jim had somehow, at some time, become a grown-up. That made him very sad and very happy.

"You made a sacrifice, one that might have turned out to be dangerous, in order to help someone else. That's one pretty good definition of a hero, even without the danger part. And it's one of Mom's and Dad's too. – Plus you got to ride on Mr. Jeffers' cart; that must have made you a hero to everyone from fifth grade down."

Ally gave a tiny chuckle. That last part was kind of true, at least. That morning he and his mom, Jenny and her dad, Ms Yunger and Ms Chen had all had a meeting. They decided that all they would tell the other students was that Joseph had felt bad and went to the creek to be alone, and that Ally had tried to help him, and they had gotten wet. They had agreed that was all true and any more might hurt Joseph. But it was OK to say more to Jim, T.K. and Gail; Ally had made sure of that especially. Afterwards, Ally had had to talk to just Ms Chen about being sad for a while.

Ally started to go to his usual chair, but Jim grabbed the pillows out of it and threw them at an arm of the couch. He motioned for Ally to lie down and then put a throw over her. He sat at the other end of the couch, placed her feet on his lap and turned the movie back on. After three lines, he thought that this might not be an appropriate movie for her, but decided it was too late.

About then Ally jumped up and started bushing crumbs off the couch onto the floor. Then he looked at Jim, and both of them said, "T.K.'s spot." When he saw the pinkie pointing at him, Jim remembered what to do so fast that Ally never knew he had forgotten.

Afterwards, Ally held his palm up to Jim's and said, "Your hands got Mom's shape and Daddy's size, that's why you're so good a p'ano player."

Jim paused the movie. That had been said so many times in this house that he knew Ally was just making noise. He said, "And you have totally Ally hands. That's why you're such a good recorder player."

Ally gave Jim's arm a head butt, then sat on his knees and leaned against Jim, his legs hidden by the nightie.

Jim asked her, "You think you will take piano again after I leave for college? You'll be able to get to it to practice then."

Ally really didn't want to think about Jim leaving right now, but new instruments were another thing entirely. He said, "Maybe or the flute." He locked his hands together and twisted his arms around in front of his chest in unusual contortions, as if to prove that he was ten and could, then added, "Or maybe the trumpet or drums."

Jim laughed and said, "Either of those would make Mom real happy. She just got T.K. trained to use headphones on his amp."

Ally smiled and said, "Da'n't help much. Do you gotta scream and grunt to play g'itar?"

"If you're T.K. you do, I guess."

It was quiet for ten or fifteen seconds, and Jim reached for the remote; just as he pushed the button, Ally said, "Jim, why would someone want to die?"

Jim re-pushed the pause button not quite fast enough to confuse the electronics. That was one hell of a question to throw casually at someone, but Jim did his best. "Part of the reason might have to do with the way the parts and the chemicals in the brain work together, Al, but I think the main thing is that the person just can't find his or her own joy,"

"You mean, they listen when people tell them they aren' s'pose to do things they like, and arn' nice to t'mselves."

Jim wasn't surprised that Ally had already heard that part of his father's speech. He wondered if his father knew that T.K. might need it early too, but thought that one more year might not be too late.

"That's right, then they don't have joy to give, which is a very hard thing. Sometimes the things those people say get inside you, and even after the people are gone, they eat at you like a monster from inside. It must be a lot of pain."

Ally was very quiet, but Jim didn't restart the movie yet, he squeezed her a little tighter and said, "You know what homonyms and synonyms are, right?"

Ally nodded. They had just finished that stuff in English – again – this year.

"There is another kind of nym too."

"Yeah, antonym."

"And another, Smarty, do you know it?"

Ally shook his head.

"Heteronym. It means two words spelled the same but pronounced differently for two meanings. Can you think of any?"

"Like tear and tear?" Ally said proud that he found one so fast. That one still threw him once in a while.

"Project and project."

Ally said, "Does and dose."

"You mean does and does, but my favorite is Ally and ally? Do you know what ally means?"

"Oh, like a friend in war. I don' think people wou'd pick me for that."

"Nah. We need allies in any kind of trouble, and I think it is perfect for you. Joseph was very lucky to have you for an ally yesterday. I don't know what will happen to him, Ally; it might be very hard for him to beat all the monsters, but I know you helped him fight one monster and will be his ally again if you have the chance. – Will you be my ally, Ally? I'll be yours."

Ally just snuggled up even closer to Jim and didn't give a verbal answer. He knew that he had just received a wonderful promise and didn't know what to say.

Well, you knew we were going to have to face the Ally/ally thing sooner or later, didn't you? And we will probably have to deal with it again. Jim wanted to proclaim Ally Ally the Ally or Ally Ally, but I begged him not to do that. I always capitalize epithets, and can you imagine having to deal with that kind of confusion in text? I'm also going to insist that, if – when – it comes up in the future, no one begins a sentence with a-l-l-y with the common meaning, so you can count on the capital letter to tell you what is meant.

While I have you here, you might have noticed we are also confronting another kind of confusion. Jim has switched the pronoun set he uses when thinking about or interacting with Ally. That, at least, will be short lived. Soon Jim is going to change to the same practice in that area that, I believe, Rocky must find very easy and natural. While what Jim is going to do may be practical for him and easy for Rocky, I think it would be very cumbersome to try to do this whole narrative their way. Therefore, even though I know it is imprecise, until Ally tells me that something else is better – and only Ally gets a vote, not even I do – I am going to stick to the established custom and practice. It is, after all, what Ally feels most comfortable with at this time.

Blame the flaws in the language or your imperfect pen. (Pen being a metaphor for me, although I use a keyboard. I'm not talking about the leaky thing you use on envelopes.) I will, however, make at least one symbolic change due to the statement Ally's going to make. You're not actually going to argue symbolism isn't important, are you? Go ahead, I dare ya'.

While we were talking about all that, Jim actually got to watch two whole scenes and a little more. Ally was busy processing and digesting stuff, and biting on a bead. Now he is antsy again. He said, "I can't understand them, what's happening?"

Jim pushed the pause button again and felt sure that it was possible to watch TV with him in the room when he was ten. (How soon we forget!) He didn't let any impatience show to Ally, however. "That's because this was written four hundred years ago, and they use old words, but if you read some and listen some, then suddenly it becomes easy. At least it did for me. Watching is easier than reading, because the actor's expressions and movements give you clues. But you have to pay real close attention at first."

"But wha' 're they doin' now?"

"This is a silly play. It's about a girl who runs away because this evil king – he's called a duke, but in her country he is like a king – anyway, he wants to kill her. Doesn't sound silly yet, does it? But it is. She goes into the woods and disguises herself as a boy. Then she meets this boy who is also hiding from the evil king and is in love with her, but he doesn't recognize her because of her disguise. And then she and the boy decide that she will pretend to be the girl she really is, so he can practice talking to her. So there's a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl. Sound silly to you yet?"

Ally nodded and laughed. He said, "Then when she is pretending to be a girl the second time, she could pretend to be a boy again!"

Jim said, "Back when they first did this play, girls weren't allowed to be actresses, so it would have really been a boy playing the part."

"What if a girl really, really wanted to be an actress back then and pretended to be a boy so she could...."

"Been done, at least once."

"And she got this part! Then it would be a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a...."

"Ally, gee, how many layers do you think this cake needs?"

Ally snickered and snuggled back up next to Jim and tried to watch the movie. Soon he had a bead between his teeth again. He almost got through two more scenes before he said, "Jim?"

Jim silently moved the pause button above cell phones on his list of the necessities for a civilized life. "Yes, Ally?"

"Have you ever kept trying to tell someone somethin', and when ever you started to say it, it felt like you were gonna be lyin' or makin' a x-cuse, though you weren't."

"That might have happened; but I don't remember it. I guess it would mean I didn't really, deep down, know what the truth was. Has that happened to you?"

Ally nodded but didn't say anything else. Just after he restarted the movie, Jim got an inkling as to what that might have been about and thought his answer might have been too straightforward.

Jim knew he had made an assumption about Ally; it was an assumption he was absolutely convinced was true. However, he was empirical enough that that certainty made it even more important for him to test and prove the assumption. He knew if he were to make understanding his two siblings his life quest, as he intended, it had to be done.

He also felt that this was not the best time to probe Ally. She had much on her mind, he knew, and was still under some stress because of yesterday. He did not want to add to that. Plus he had a family taboo, of a least four or five years standing and which had gotten stronger each year, to overcome.

All of this did not make this the ideal time to talk to Ally, but it is not easy to get any ten-year-old in a quiet and pensive mood, especially if you're a big brother who can't demand attention the way a parent can. Although he knew that the information would not be perfect or conclusive, Jim decided the time was now, even if he dared only to broach the topic peripherally.

So he interrupted Duke Senior and asked her, "Ally, do you ever wish you were a girl?"

Ally tilted his head to the left, but only a very little, and said, "Yeah, sum'times."

That was about all Jim had expected really and, as expected, it didn't help at all. It didn't tell him about Ally's view of herself. He did note, however, that the question did not seem to bother her, even now. Her answer had been a simple statement of fact. The bead had not even gone to her mouth. But then Ally said something that changed everything.

Ally said, "Oth'r times I wish I was a boy."

That was all. Still no squirming, no bead, no distress. Again, a simple statement of fact.

Jim tried to hide behind the imprecision of a child's speech but found no succor there. He felt sure this was scientific serendipity. The flaws in the experimental design had rendered an exceptional and unexpected datum.

Jim wondered how Ally could only feel lonely following something as odd as the event with Joseph. He wondered what ancient sages, who found the question "Who am I?" ineffable, would do facing this child's question. He said to Ally, "I'm glad we're allies. I think you are a hero every day, not just yesterday."

Ally shook Ally's head then put it in Jim's lap. Ally's legs were pulled further inside the nightie. Ally hugged Bucephalus.

Jim put the throw back over Ally; he kissed Ally's forehead, then started the movie. With one finger, he caressed the arc of Ally's ear.

I hope he watches this play again before the quiz and pays attention to the ending next time.

Ally slept.

Ally dreamed.

  

  

  

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