Scenes from a Kid's Life

by Jan S

©2006 by Jan S.

 

Group 1: Peppermint, Garlic, Soup

 

Peppermint:

 

As they looked through the basket of teddy bears Ally and Rocky were laughing so hard that every face the coffee bar had turned toward them and – joy being contagious – every face had a smile. I wish I could tell you what they found so funny but I don't know what it was. I really think I should know, but I can't figure it out.

I do know a lot about everyone in this place.

I know what kind of car the woman that just ordered the double caramel extra whip mocha and low-fat muffin drives. (Hey, don't laugh at her, we all make choices.)

I know that, while everyone watching these two thinks they are very close and long time friends, before the last few hours at the pool, they had met only once: at a wedding over two years ago, when Ally carried a pillow with two rings on it and Rocky tried not to walk too fast or throw the flower pedals too far. That time both were too restrained, by self-consciousness and by watchful adults, to become friends.

I know the old lady in the corner doing the crossword sneaks peaks at a dictionary hidden in her purse.

I know the only people in the shop worried that the two kids might be disturbing anyone are Grace, Ally's mother who is in her mid-forties, and Annie, Rocky's mom who is in her early thirties. The woman sitting with their mothers is Amy, the aunt of both kids, who is about thirty. The lump under the blanket over Amy's left shoulder is Benjamin, who is six weeks old today and is enjoying his second lunch.

Rocky is wearing a green T-shirt and has a towel wrapped around her waist that she keeps dropping (she still has her swimming suit on too). Ally has a pair of blue warm-up pants on over his trunks and has on a red knit shirt. He's better dressed because he is on his way to visit his grandmother who is in a nursing home where she is doing well, but not recovering, after having a stroke last spring.

Ally is nine – excuse me, almost ten – years old. He isn't really skinny but is very narrow across the shoulders and waist and he is fairly short; he isn't aware of this last because he is one of the oldest kids in his class. His hair comes to the bottom of his ears in an August-cut; that is it hasn't been near a pair of scissors in nearly three months. It is brown, almost light enough to be called blond, and wavy, not quite curly enough to be called curly. His eyes are hazel, so they aren't quite any color at all (or at least they seem different colors at different times). They seem large because his eyebrows are a little darker than his hair, the lashes are long and his nose is a bit small.

Rocky is around seven months younger than Ally and is almost exactly the same height as he and weighs a bit more. Her hair almost reaches her shoulders right now (and looks like a mane) but as it dries and gets brushed it will spring up to the nape of her neck. It is more than curly enough to be called curly and just light enough to be called blond; it has just enough red in it to be called strawberry blond. Her eyes are just dark enough to be called incredible (instead of simply green) and she has just enough spots on her face to be called freckled (in spite of the gallons of sun block lathered on her in her short life).

See I know all these things, and more, but the kids are still giggling and I still have no clue what the joke is. You may think: "It isn't important. It's probably something no one over ten would find funny anyway; we should just enjoy the reflected happiness and move on. You're probably right; all the things I have mentioned may affect the narrative while their joke probably wouldn't. But you're missing the ramifications! I'm supposed to be an omniscient narrator in this story, and here – in the first sentence of the first chapter – something is hidden from me! This could be big trouble later. My science may not be so omni!

Anyway, in a minute we're going to face a more common omniscient narrator problem. Rocky is going to say something and five people will react at once. You're going to have to read very fast so that it will unfold in real time. Get ready for it. Please.

The guy pulling drinks called "two kid's peppermint hot chocolates" and as Rocky and Al walked over to get them he asked "What is it you girls find so funny?"

Ally said "Nothing, Rocky is just reeeal weird" (missing the chance to tell me the joke). Rocky didn't answer but made a sound half way between a gulp and a snort and started laughing even harder. As Rocky walked toward the table she was laughing so hard she stumbled (I thank she was exaggerating her reaction a lot), while Ally just followed becoming confused. When she got there she pretended to fall across the table and said (this isn't where you read fast, but get set), "Know what that man said?"

Annie decided Rocky had crossed the line; she said "Rocky, calm down!"

Rocky tried to and switched to a stage wisper. (Get ready), "But he called Ally a girl."

Go! Amy gasped and thought "Oh God! Another poor little guy" – Annie held her breath and thought "No, Rocky, don't do this to him" – Grace just close her eyes, took an audibly deep breath and her mind went blank – Ben thought "Hey" and said "Whaa" then went back to his meal (this might have been because of his mother's reaction rather than Rocky's statement) – Ally just thought "Oh, that's all" but his glee ebbed some.

Rocky, not showing a great deal of perception, continued, "Could we pretend that he is one."

"No!" jumped out of Grace's mouth

Wait – hold on, that is not the answer I wanted. This is going to be posted on TG sites. She has to go along with it! But that is all I can get to work. I tried to make her agree but she keeps being recalcitrant. It comes out "well – that – might – be – be –," or something like that. This character must have come with some back story; this may take a while.

"Roxanna, stop it this minute," Annie said, firing the first barrel of the triple-barrel-name. It, along with a stare from her aunt, was enough. Rocky got quiet very quickly although she had no idea what she had done wrong.

Grace asked Ally to go get the other drinks "one at a time – please". By the time he got back with the first one Rocky had gotten her talking to and she said "I'm very sorry."

"I's 'k" he replied and went back for the other drink. Rocky getting in trouble bothered him much more than anything else that had happened.

When he returned the second time Rocky continued "I really really didn't mean to tease you at all at all."

Ally closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really didn't feel teased at all at all. And he hated it when people didn't take "I's 'k" to mean "It is all right; no problem; don't worry about it; how about this weather?" Grace wrapped an arm around her son and asked if he truly didn't mind when people thought he was a girl.

Ally tilted his head way to the left, as he always did when deep in thought, sighed deeply and didn't answer by saying, "Yeah, it happens, I don't know why. I'm surprised Rocky thinks it's weird. 'Cuz of my name 'guess." Of course the guy at the bar hadn't heard his name but we take our rationalizations where we can find them. He shrugged and added, "I mainly don't like the questions all the time."

Grace squeezed him, smiled and said, "All right, I'll stop annoying you."

He squeezed back to let her know he didn't mean her! "Can we sit over there? Please?" he asked.

"You MAY," she answered which provoked an eye-roll from Ally. His mother was an English professor and that was often a bigger problem for him than being mistaken for a girl. Ally went over to a big upholstered chair by the window and plopped into it. He was followed by Rocky who plopped on top of him.

A woman near by got up to leave and Annie said, "If they're bothering you I'll quiet them down."

The woman who should have said, "I'm afraid they will catch me cheating at my puzzle," said instead, "No, please don't hush them. I have to run. Hearing your girls laugh has been very pleasant."

It took a good, solid twenty-two and a half seconds before Rocky and Ally started giggling again. It took longer for the women's conversation to restart. Soon Grace told the others, about the houses Ally built with his plastic blocks, about the "architectural model" of a house he got last Christmas and, in a whisper, she described Ally's secret stash of toys. She smiled and tried to laugh when she told the story of the time, about three years ago, when she had had Ally's hair cut very short; while grocery shopping with Ally in the cart, an older woman had stopped her and told her about a granddaughter who had had leukemia but was in remission after twelve years, so there was hope and she would pray for them; it had taken Grace several minutes to figure out what had happened. She thought, rightly, that the mistakes people made weren't only based on Ally's appearance or simply his behavior but had more to do with his bearing or something even less tangible.

Amy took a deep breathe before starting and said "When Annie and I were kids there was a boy –probably, girl – that lived near us, very sweet, gentle kid. When – she – was sixteen…"

"Wait – stop – please," interrupted Grace, "I know this story; or at least I know one's like it and where it is going …" "Please, God – Oh, Please, God," she thought during a pause then continued, "He isn't a sad child; shy – yes." A giggle from where Ally and Rocky were having a technical discussion about Marco Polo tactics belied the shy part, so she added with half a smile, "at least until this morning."

"Mine too," Annie inserted, also with the best smile she could manage.

Grace plowed on "But not timid or withdrawn at all – yet. Not depressed." After a pause she said, "But even surviving that symptom, there will be other social diseases to worry about…"

Annie jumped in, "Grace we aren't talking about being gay but even so heteros have the same..."

"No, no, no," Grace responded, "I know, I know, … that is not what I mean. I know the difference too. Maybe I should have said 'sociological diseases', I was thinking of the self-righteous and deadly homophobes – not microbes. They don't know the difference or care. They're my true fear."

Although she felt she was getting too emotional for the setting she added after a second, "I used the term symptom for these children, I shouldn't have; they don't have – – My baby is not sick – nor is it a condition. He is simply different. Unfortunately some people find that difference a problem …Their problem … That is how it becomes critical."

"And difference" said Annie, "is treated with acceptance."

"And with love. Huge doses," Grace nodded, "Acceptance, love and compassion when it becomes too much or harm has been done."

Annie knew she should let the topic drop but had a pressing question, "Why were you so quick – and adamant – when Rocky asked if Ally could play girl?"

"Our rule," Grace said "Larry's and mine. We do show him acceptance. We always accept and allow – things. No one ever told him to hide his toys or ever would; not even his brothers, it would make little difference to them; but we won't make him display them either. You know, when the fear is far away, we even enjoy and embrace – the difference but we won't encourage or force anything. The ideas must come from him alone. We follow his lead and let him decide when and what and how far."

Well – I said there must be some back story with Grace. We should step around that anvil now. Annie, however, insists on one more question.

After a moment she said, "OK. It's a good rule. A wonderful one but are you sure Ally knows about it? Does he know what will be accepted?"

Grace was saved from answering by one of the counter help coming over with a broom, she started sweeping near the kids and asked them, "How can you'll drink hot chocolate when it's 90 degrees outside?"

Rocky said, "B'cuz its sooo goood," stealing Ally's argument without remorse. But he had others.

Ally tilted his head to the right, as he always did when he thought he was about to say something grownups would find precocious, and said, "You guys sell tons of coffee and mostly it's hot," he took a sip of his drink for effect and added, "aaah, it's not just for snow days anymore."

A few minuets later our group was on the way out; the kids were saying good-bye like they had know each other for four years rather than four hours and like they would be apart for three years instead of three hours. As they hugged Rocky whispered to Ally, "I wish you were a girl, b'cuz you would make a good friend."

Now that could have – and should have – really bothered Ally but it didn't. He could recognize a friend when he saw one, so he became bewildered rather than anxious.

Since I don't want him to react right now, just then the girl who had been sweeping called from the counter, "Wait girls, I've got something for you." She handed them two plate sized cookies, explaining they were day-olds but still good and were what made all the workers fat. When Grace and Annie nodded approval, they took the cookies and even expressed their gratitude unprompted.

At the door both kids held it open for a man coming in and he said "Thank you, ladies." All right, I admit it; I'm pummeling Grace with minor characters.

When they got outside they found Amy's car doors blocked by a giant SUV with no way to get Ben to his seat (It was the low fat caramel lady's car). Ally offered to squeeze in and back it out but Grace said, "Over my dead body."

Ally responded, "Only if you put it behind the car." Yes, that is way to clever for any nine-year-old, but Ally has two big brothers that give him material and Grace knew what she was doing when she fed him the straight line.

All this had given Grace time to consider and as Amy started to crawl across the seat to get to the driver's side and Annie held Ben she decided to take Ally inside and fix his hair. (Got her! – maybe) When they got inside the ladies' room, over Ally's minor reluctance, she said "Lots of people would be surprised to see you go in the other room." He didn't respond, so she asked, "How do you really feel about all that, Honey?"

"I don't know," he said hiding a sniffle, "it's OK when people aren't mean and call me names and stuff."

"Does that happen a lot to you, Al? At school."

"There are jerks that do but it's 'K, I can't make people like me; I can just be nice." Grace knew her own mantra and Ally went on, "It's better 'cuz I got good at soccer now. It's mainly about my name."

Grace knew many boys could be named Sue and have many fewer problems. She also thought it was lucky that he went to a private school known for its tolerance and with students from an educated upper-class in a town also believed to be tolerant. But she was aware things were much rougher than Ally let on. She didn't want to push him, however, so she shifted the topic a little. "We could start calling you something different. T.K. and Jim both change what they were called at about your age. They gave you that name, you know."

"Yeah, they liked Greece." Ally knew his brothers wanted to name him after an ancient hero; he had almost become Jason Greyson; and Achilles, Odysseus, Theseus and Hercules had been seriously considered by half of his family before the more historic Alexander had been settled on. But that wasn't what his mother had in mind.

Grace said, "Yes, but after you were born – they were four and seven, and still called Tommy and Jimmy and you're father was, of course, Larry – they decide that every boy in their family must have a name that ended in 'E'." Ally snickered, he loved hearing about silly things his great big brothers did when they where small. Grace went on, "Most Alexanders are called Alex."

"Mom! That's silly." he said, "There are two Alexs in my grade and two a year up and one a year behind…"

"And they are all girls," Grace finished. "Well, I don't think you can do it T.K.'s way. A.H. just doesn't sound right, does it?"

Ally agreed. She had wet a comb and then combed the water through his hair and blotted it with paper towels. Now she brought out a round brush.

"How about using your middle name?"

"You know Etta on my soccer team? Her real name is Henrietta and she has Henry on her jersey."

She didn't think Henry had become a girl's name yet, but she said "The girls are taking over all the names, aren't they? There's a girl Tommie in your grade too. What are boys called these days?"

He knew it was a rhetorical question though he didn't know that word. "Girls do stuff then boys can't but girls can do boy stuff," he said.

It was a familiar lament rather than a new topic. Grace went on, "What about just Al?"

"We're all called Al sometimes," Ally said, meaning all the children named Alison, Alexis, Alexandra or Alexander. By now he had noticed she was taking a lot longer than usual to brush his hair, normally it was just smoothed down in five or six strokes without even a part. He decide, since his mom was going to visit her mom, she was making a big deal out of it; he would give her her rein rather than pull at his bit.

Apropos of nothing Ally asked, "Before I was born did you hope I'd be a girl?" At least Ally thought it wasn't related to anything and he was right as far as the current topic, his self image and, even, the mistakes in the shop were concerned. It was probably due to the friendliness his mom had shown to Rocky, not that she was ever aloof with his friends but she had been extra interested in Rocky. Of course, Ally wasn't really conscience of this feeling and couldn't have expressed it. Grace, however, knew exactly why she took a special liking to Rocky. It was because of the special, immediate, and intense attachment her child had made with Rocky and the way he had opened up to her, he had never done that before and she knew he was discerning and careful in such things. That and Rocky's evident attraction to Ally were all she need to be convinced that Rocky was a remarkable person.

But Grace had quite trying to follow the connections in conversations with children long ago. "Nope, not at all," she answered.

The droop of his shoulders said Ally wanted more, so Grace said, "Before K.T. was born I had hoped for a girl, I had a boy and wanted something different. Well, I got a boy – by the time he arrived I was perfectly happy with that – but I got something totally different too. Have you ever notice how different your brothers are?"

"Oh, yeah!" Ally said and rolled his eyes for emphasis.

"Well I had noticed that before K.T. was even Ben's size. And by the time you were on the way I had met their friends as well and knew the variety that was possible among children. I knew, boy or girl, the experience would be something new and wonderful. And was I ever right; I got something very wonderful and very special and very unique."

Ally smiled but then the gleam of revenge entered his eyes and he said, "Mom, you modified a – a superlative!"

It was Graces turn to giggle and she said, "I did not. I modified an absolute, which is sort of the same thing." Then she whispered, "Don't tell anyone – I'll lose my job."

She had stopped brushing his hair but now added some last touches. She hadn't really intended to do what she had done. She had gotten under his hair with a round brush and fluffed it out. This added to the wave and it now flipped a little at the ends all around. She had put a part in the middle and brushed his bangs, which could hide his eye brows, over to each side and made them curl some. Certainly boy's had styles similar to this, flatter perhaps, not as soft looking; but she wasn't sure she hadn't violated The Rule.

Just as she finished Ally tilted his head to the right, a sure sign something was coming, and said, "I like the name 'Ally'. It's very unique." And he meant it too.

Grace smiled, bonked him on his just brushed head and told him to look in the mirror. Trying to follow Annie's advice and let him know what would be accepted but not lead him, she said, "If you wish to redo it the usual way, we can."

"Nah," Ally said, "I's 'K." But he thought, "Gaa, it looks nice." And he meant it too.

 

Garlic:

"Uncle Steve! Hi You're back What you doing Can I help Is Rocky here?" Ally said before the door had finished slamming behind him.

Steve answered, also as fast as he could, "Nephew Alex! Hi, yourself Yes, I'm back Making dinner Sure you can No, she went to get a movie for you to watch."

Ally said, "What movie is she getting? What we having?"

Steve said, "Probably something with a talking donkey. Poulet aux quarante gousses d'ail. (Read that with a horrible accent. I would have used semi-italics if I knew how.)" The door closed again. Steve hollered, "Hi, beautiful!"

Grace answered, "Hi, handsome," as she walked in with Ben.

"You're not beautiful, you're my sister." Steve said as he hugged her, then asked how she was doing. He poked his son in the nose and then stared at him and tested his grip until he heard Amy come in.

"At last. The Love of My Life is finally home," Steve said.

Amy and Steve embraced and kissed each other, he had been out of town for four days, but Amy said "I don't think I'm the love of your life anymore. Ben has taken my place."

"NO, no, no," Steve said and pointed at Ben saying "Light of My Life", then kissing Amy again said "Love of My Life. Get it straight."

Ally had had enough of this stuff. Kneeling on a chair by the counter he said, "What do you want me to do, Uncle Steve?"

Steve said, "Ok, OK." He carried Ally, chair and all, to the sink then put two garlic bulbs on the counter and said, "The first step in every recipe is to wash your hands, then we need forty cloves of garlic. The parts of these are cloves and your job is to count them and peel them."

When Ally had just got his hands wet, Amy said she was going to go change Ben and Ally lost all interest in cooking.

"Can I help, please?" he said.

Amy said. "Of course, that would be nice."

But Steve objected, "What? He's my sous-chef. You can't have him."

Ally over-acted dejection so Steve said, "All right, but hurry back. Make him a giraffe."

Amy sighed; Ally glared.

So Steve added, "If you're going to change him, change him into a giraffe."

Grace said, "I like him the way he is."

Ally caught on and said, "Anything but a toad, everyone always does toads."

Amy groaned and said, "Oh god, it is genetic. I hope Benny doesn't develop it. I'm going to change him into a clean baby, if that is OK with everyone."

All agreed that would be fine.

As Amy, Ally and Ben left Steve asked Grace, "How was Mom?"

"In good spirits. Who knows how much of that is drugs though. She called Ally Danni the whole time."

"There is a resemblance; you married your brother-in-law's twin. Does he remember her?" Steve said.

"I did not, Charity did. It was before he was born but he knows the story. I don't know if he knows the name."

Ally and Amy reached the nursery and he held Ben's hand, or rather he had his finger held by Ben, as the baby was undressed, wash, oiled, creamed, powdered, diapered and dressed; handing Amy each item as needed. Then he watched as Ben started his high tea and was impressed at how the baby dug right in.

When he returned to the kitchen Uncle Steve asked, "What have you done to my wife and child, young man?"

Ally explained Ben was nursing, adding, "I was a destruction."

"A distraction, maybe?" Graced asked.

"That's what I meant." Ally said.

Sounding totally exasperated Steve said, "That's all he ever does is eat and sleep; eat and sleep and cry; eat and sleep and cry and poop: Eat, sleep, cry, and poop, over and over again, day and night." Once he saw Ally's concern he said, "And it is the most amazing thing I have ever seen! I mean, Ally, you were a good baby and all but nothing like Ben. All YOU ever did was eat, sleep, cry and poop. But Ben! He is incredible!"

Ally was unperturbed by the comparison and asked, "Forty groves, right?"

"Groves?" Steve said, "Cloves. Yeah, forty, wash your hands first – over the other sink. Yes, again. Every time you leave the counter. And leave the water running, we have to soak the clay pot."

As he started breaking up the heads he asked, "Isn't forty groves a ton of garlic?"

Steve answered, "CLOves, CLoves … a ton? Nah, six or seven ounces at most, not nearly a ton."

Ally mouthed "cloves" four or five times before he said, "Isn't that a lot?"

"You might be surprised," Steve said, "Garlic is a wonderful thing – it is very different when you dice it from when you cook it whole. So you have to be careful not to squish it when you peel it, OK. I could give you a chemistry lesson about it."

Ally wouldn't have minded the lesson but Steve continued, "You might not like it – yet. But try it – you never know. Ben doesn't like it so I'm fixing some plain baked chicken for Amy. There will be legs for you and Rock too."

He silently agreed to try one clove of roasted garlic and a bite of the chicken; he was adventurous though he didn't think he was. It took him a second to make the connection between chicken for Amy and what Ben liked and that raised a new topic. "How did Benny learn to eat like that?" he asked.

Grace decided it was a parent question. "That is one thing that babies are born knowing how to do," she said.

"Are there others?" Ally asked

"That is a very deep question, Ally," Steve answered, "people have asked it for thousands of years and haven't got close to an answer. There may be other things. But it's not just a science question it involves philosophy and ethics too."

Ally had not thought it was a science question. Science was what the planets were like, how caterpillars became butterflies, things like that; not what we knew or had to learned. He pondered this and then he asked, "Does he know he is a boy or does he have to learn that? There are only thirty-nine – CLoves – of garlic."

"What! Oh No. Dinner is ruined," Steve exclaimed. "We can't make Poulet aux quarante gousses d'ail with only thirty-nine cloves," he tried to say.

A worried Ally said, "Some are real big, won't it be enough?"

Steve exaggerated a sigh and said "Maybe, but I can't say thirty-nine in French."

Grace said, "You can't say forty in French either."

Steve stuck his tongue out at Grace which cracked Ally up. "You're sooo lucky you don't have a big sister, they are always picking on you. Even when you're all grown up."

"I've got big brothers instead," Ally said.

Steve shook his head saying, "Can't be as bad. Can't be as bad. You're doing a very good job by the way."

Ally wasn't so sure about the first part of that statement but smiled about the second. He wasn't distracted, however, and posed his question again. "How will Benny know he's a boy?"

Grace and Steve looked at each other and Grace tried to evade the question, "Probably he doesn't think about it yet."

Undeterred Ally went on, "But when will he. How does he learn it?

"Well, no one will teach him the way they will teach him to read, Sweetheart." Grace said. Although Ally did not seem upset by the topic she was anxious for him.

"Then he just knows how to act like a boy from inside." Ally persisted.

Steve tried his hand at not answering, "No, Buddy. We learn behaviors from watching others. People who grow up in different parts of the world act differently because of what they see growing up."

Ally was getting frustrated; he wasn't getting answers but he persisted, "How does he know who to watch?"

"The simple answer, Ally, is that there is no simple answer," Steve said, "There is no on-off switch. Some women like sports and are good at them, but some people think that's a 'man thing'; that doesn't make them men. Right? Even if they are faster or stronger than almost any man in the world, they are still women. Some men like – Oh, cooking, even though some might call it 'a woman thing', it doesn't mean they are women. So it's not what we like or even what we are good at. None of that makes us in to one or the other?"

He let his frustration show when he asked, "I know about bodies and sex and stuff. (Well, he did at the expected ten year old level.) What makes us act different?"

Grace misinterpreted the emotion, which was unusual, and said "Come here, Baby."

She tried to sit Ally in her lap but he just stood next to her; he wanted information not comforting. And he didn't want to be called baby either. He did, however, let her put an arm around him. He was the only one in the room that didn't think he was talking about himself. Believe it or not, he wasn't considering any personal ramifications; he was simply taking an interest in the universe around him; talking about Ben learning stuff.

Steve went on, "Well I don't think that what makes us a boy or girl is totally what body we have or just about sex and stuff. How we behave or choose what behaviors we learn must, kind of, come from inside us. Scientist can tell how the brain works and that the brain of a man works differently in some ways than a woman's. Maybe, just maybe, that is enough; that may be the thing that determines how we choose how to act and which behaviors we learn."

"Eureka!" thought Ally. He really did; he knew about Archimedes and liked that word.

But Grace didn't stop. She added, "But I think that might be like being strong or fast. Some men will have brains that act more like a woman's than most women have and the other way around."

I know. This is a story not a gender development symposium and these people aren't experts anyway. But Ally is tenacious and this, obviously, has personal importance to him even if he doesn't think so. This is what and how he learned. She's almost done, I promise.

"But I think there is more, Sweetheart," Grace continued, "something deep inside us and I call it the soul, but some people may want to call it something else, and I think it is that part that determines what role makes us comfortable and that determines which behaviors we choose.

"That is what I think, Allydally, maybe it is something within our brain, maybe it is something even deeper. I don't really know the answer. Is that OK?" she ended giving him a hug.

Ally nodded, he liked it when grown-ups said they didn't know and then told him possible answers. It meant he didn't have to always be sure either. He straightened up; he had leaned so far to the left during this discussion that his shoulder had hit the table. Some may think that Ally would ask about changing bodies to match the souls at this point but Ally didn't think so. He, finally, had enough information for now.

Steve attempted to get things back on course, "We need to get busy! We gotta brown the chicken, toast your garlic and get this stuff into the oven. It has to spend two hours in there. Wash your hands again; we don't know where your mother has been."

Ally smiled at the idea that his mom could be a contaminant but the word "soul" had reminded him of something else. He had wanted to be alone with his mom when he asked it but the mood felt right right now. Unfortunately for us, it isn't any lighter than the last topic.

"Who is Danni?" he asked.

Again Grace didn't try to figure out the connection, she just hugged him again, this time because she needed it. "Grama's first grand – child. Remember I told you that because she is sick she can remember things from long ago better than recent things sometimes. I was very proud of the way you let her call you Danni and she enjoyed talking to you too."

"She was in the car with Aunt Charity and Uncle Gary?" he asked, meaning Danni not Grama.

"Yes," Grace said, once again amazed at the ease with which children can speak of the dead they have never meet as if they knew them well, or maybe it is just that we have a hard time talking casually about them. "Had you heard of Danni before?"

Ally shook his head and said, "I knew they had a kid."

Grace asked, "How did you know Danni meant a girl, Honey?"

Ally sniffed and said, "When I told Grama about soccer she called me a tomboy. How old was she?" Again meaning Danni; Grace had no trouble following.

"Ten," she said, "a little older than you are now."

"She must have been sad," he said, this time meaning his grandmother. He needs to work on antecedents. "A daughter and a granddaughter on the same day," he added, "and you and Uncle Steve, too"

"Yes, Allydally, it was very, very sad," said Grace, this time taking him un-resisted into her lap to hug him.

Ally had more questions about Danni but Amy, who had come in about twelve paragraphs ago, agrees with me that it is time to lighten up. Her segue, however, didn't have as strong an effect as she had hoped.

She addressed Steve, "Did Ally tell you about the fun he had with Rocky today?"

"No, but Grace did!" he said, also happy to lighten up, "Looks like you have a great new friend, Buddy."

Thinking of Rocky's friend statement he just shrugged and said, "Yeah," as he walked back to the counter.

Grace was surprised by the lack of animation, she said, "I thought you two were crazy about each other. Didn't you like her?"

He smiled and said, "She's real weird."

Concerned Amy asked, "But you liked her, right?"

Hadn't he just answered that? Grownups could be so obtuse! "Yeah," he said and asked Steve, "Want me to start the oven preheating?" Ally asked.

"Nope, can't with the clay pot," Steve, who spoke Child better than he spoke French or his wife, answered,… Wait a second; I didn't mean he spoke his wife – I meant – never mind … rewrite that sentence at you leisure – when you're done please diagram Ally's last statement about his grandmother.

Steve went on, "The wood elf should be here any minute. We have to hurry so you can take care of her …"

Ally looked the question, so Steve interrupted himself, "Bet you a nickel you know she is a wood elf the second she walks in." It wasn't a sure bet, but it was a good one.

"She's no good in the kitchen;" Steve went on, "must be a girl thing or a wood elf thing. Here, take a stick of this (rosemary) and two – three of these sticks (thyme) and a big sprig or three of this stuff (parsley) and tie it up with this (twine) and make a bouquet garni (badly pronounced)."

Grace said, "Could he make a bouquet garni (well pronounced, she had studied in Paris for two years) instead, please?"

Steve's response was to stick his tongue out again. Ally and Amy both broke up this time.

Right on cue there was a knock at the back door but it opened before any possible response and Rocky charged in saying, "Ally, Ally, Mama says we can be friends."

All the adults were perplexed; Ally's earlier reserve was explained and they all knew Annie was a private person; but they did not think she was that protective in that way. Ally thought any such announcement should be accompanied by a hug and jumped up.

Rocky, however, ran straight to Grace and said, "I got to ask you something!" pulling on her arm.

While this was going own Steve whispered to Ally, "You owe me a nickel, don't you?"

Ally smiled and nodded; Rocky was wearing four shades of green and he guessed she did that a lot. "Plus her eyes," he thought.

At the door to the mudroom she said, "Mama said to ask you first," then she started whispering. She wasn't very good at it, however, and the others heard, "… bead store … friendship necklace … too … can I, please."

Even if there had been any possible way to say no, Grace wouldn't have.

Rocky ran over and grabbed Ally and messed up his bouquet for the second time; she said, "Look what I made you; put it on; it's for special friends; put it on."

Ally ripped open the bag as if it didn't have a top and just let it fall to the floor. The necklace inside was a single string of large beads; most were wood but every fifth bead alternated between gold and silver (in color at least) with two green glass jewels at the clasp. The jewels were Rocky's signature obviously. He grabbed her around the neck more than he hugged her. His smile said, "Thank you, it's wonderful", but his words said, "Thanks, but I don't have anything for you."

Rocky treated that objection to a gift with all the respect it deserved, she said, "Put it on; put it on; see if it fits."

So he did, with Steve's help. "Nice bling, Ally," Steve said, about two years too late. Then he said, "Let's get this chicken in the oven, turn it to 350."

Rocky said, "You're cooking. That's girl stuff."

Ally said, "I like to do it."

Steve said, "That's sexist. Men cook better then women, all the great cooks are men."

Amy and Grace let that go, but it took some effort. Amy said, "Al helped me with Ben too, Rocky. You won't do that."

"Yuck, he's stinky. Did you really want to? Boys aren't su'pos' to." Rocky said.

Ally was indignant but only in defense of Ben, "He is not!"

Annie called from the door and came in carrying a soccer ball. The first thing she did when she got to the kitchen was sit at the table with Grace for a private conversation. After a minute she called to Ally, "Hey, we got a movie for you and Rox to watch tonight. I thought you two could watch it next door, so your mama and uncle can visit, and then you could spend the night with Rocky."

Judging by the air under his feet Ally thought that was a better idea than a banana split. Rocky, however, looked very, very concerned. She went over to Annie and put her mouth right next to her mother's ear; but she forgot to whisper, "But, Mama, you got real mad at Blair for spending the night with a boy."

There are well documented times when people become so happy they cry. There are also situations – usually introduce by children – that are so inherently sad that one must laugh uproariously. This was one of the latter and Annie did.

"Oh, Pumpkin. Oh, My Love, My Love." She said, "That is so full of misunderstandings; I'm sorry babe, we need – that's why you were so serious when you asked if Ally could be your friend – we need a long, long talk, Sweetie. But for now; most – very important: Rocky, you may have friends that are boys; you may have boyfriends; you may love boys and men, I do!; I loved your daddy and I still do and I know you do. And with special friends you may spend the night with boys – at least for the next couple of years; but, I guess you better let the mamas talk first, on that one. OK? OK, Love?"

Rocky nodded, she felt great relief slightly tinged with embarrassment, this had bothered her for two months and now she learned it shouldn't have.

Ally asked, "Who is Blair?"

Steve opened his mouth but Annie stopped him; she wanted Rocky to answer. Rocky stared at Al; this was sometimes a tricky point and she considered absolutely everything she knew about Ally before taking the plunge. She said, "She's my other mama," then remembered and added, "Use to be."

"You have two moms?" Ally asked, his head began moving to the left.

"My step-mama."

What did that have to do with Annie? "She was married to you dad?"

In for a penny, in for a pound: "To Mama," Rocky said. Neither of them thought about the legal or socio-political meanings of the word, neither did the adults. The word meant that two people had made a life commitment to each other; legal privileges, property rights and the other such matters were important and unfairly denied; but they were utterly trivial in the greater, truer meaning of the word; how could people who claimed greater religious insight miss that?

It took a very short time for Ally's head to spring up straight, "Oh, that's neat," he said, thinking of his neighbors who had no mom.

"They're not anymore," Rocky said.

"Eaw, yeah," he thought. He had had classmates and friends who had got divorced before (that's the way he thought of it); it left him speechless; an arm around Rocky's shoulder was the best expression he could manage; he didn't know it was the very best expression.

Meanwhile, Annie had mentally left the room. She had told Rocky that Blair was her step-mother for four years, but she had forgotten that in the last two months – how could she have! It hadn't been Blair's choice of partner that had ended the relationship; she had looked past gender when choosing her partners too; she truly loved Rocky's father; both had known that they could not make a life commitment to each other but had decided they could make a life commitment together; Rocky was the joy of both of their lives. It hadn't been the infidelity either, that hurt a lot – more then there were words for – but the relationship might have survived it, in some form anyway. But Annie had learned things during the crisis—of hatreds and prejudices – Blair's apologies and explanations had hurt her case more than the act – that Annie did not want in her life, or Rocky's. But now she realized she had yanked a parent out of Rocky's life and did not know how to deal with it. She decided she didn't need to – couldn't – deal with it just now and rapidly twitched her head to bring herself back. She but a dish towel to her eyes, of course her first thought on returning was of her daughter. She asked "You OK, Rock."

Rocky nodded; she was, though she was missing Blair right now.

Annie smiled as well as she could and said, "I was thinking, I could spread out a sleeping bag and make you two a bed of the floor. Does that sound better than Amy's couch, Ally?"

Ally demonstrated his amazing perception and decided that a joke was badly needed, "Wait, first Aunt Amy was going to make Benny a giraffe and now you're going to make me a bed?"

Amy yelled, "I was not!"

When he could Steve said, "Why don't you two take the ball and go outside for a while?"

Ally objected, "We gotta do the vegetables; I know how to break the asparagus."

Steve said, "We have an hour before we need to start on it. Go, go, go. And we will make a good team; I know how to fix the asparagus."

Amy said, "Oh god, Grace you're a doctor, can't you do something to stop him."

Grace said, "Of course, I'll parse his sentences."

Amy said, "Maybe you should apply irony? Except it's probably the result of an overdose of that? Oh no, I've caught it."

The kids decided that if the grownups were going to talk nonsense it was time to leave.

 

Soup:

"I don't want to!"

"But that's stupid!"

"Is not! And Leave Maggie alone!"

Annie started to get up from the couch where she had been abandoned to watch the talking donkey alone. The kids had only seen the movie four or five times each, so it wasn't old, but they had decided the company was better than the movie and gone off to look at Rocky's computer family.

"Ok, OK, Be a dumb creep!"

Annie moved a bit faster.

"You're just a bossy bitch!"

"Roxanna Katherina Forde-VanGoran!" Wow, all three barrels! Rocky had used, if not the worst possible, one of the top three bad words according to Annie's list. Still, that is quite a barrage in Rocky's case; I'm surprised the recoil didn't knock Annie down.

"Get in here right now! Alexander, you too!" she added, taking it easy on the guest.

Before they covered the fifteen feet to the den the kids said, "He keeps moving my furni … It was just an ide … he messed up Maggie's h … I was fixi …"

Annie's stare was more effective than any screamed "Shut-up" could have been. "But … bu ... b … b …", still visibly moved through their heads, however. There are times to distract, times to process and times to separate the combatants. Annie had no doubt which this was.

"Grace is coming over in a few minutes," she spoke quietly, "I guess Ally should go back to Steve's for the night. You two have spent enough time together for one day" It was a vicious parental attack, pitting strong desire against strong emotion. However, it had been surgically applied; with enough possibility in the voice to not bring on tears; with enough threat to obtain absolute silence and total attention. Ally touched his new beads and moved one up to his teeth. Rocky's thumb migrated to the edge of her lips.

"I want one of you on the couch and the other in the chair in the study. (It was more playroom/computer room.) You will stay there for ten minutes with no TV or computer. Then we will see. Ally you get to pick, you're a guest"

Ally didn't answer but grabbed Bucephalus from off the couch where he had been left to watch the movie and carried him by one fetlock towards the study.

"If he gets his stupid horsy I get to have Sidney," Rocky said as she stomped into her room and grabbed the green clad raccoon that wore spectacles over his mask. (Well, some animals might wear glasses but this one wore spectacles. OK?)

Ally silently screamed, "'Stupid horse'? – he has won battles – had cities named after him … Humph."

"And you better leave Maggie and Sandra alone too!" Rocky sneered as they passed on the extreme opposite sides of the hall. He hadn't intended to play with them but still thought this was unfair; Rocky was making full use of the home court advantage; he couldn't retaliate; his toys were 700 miles away.

Once they were seated Annie went to the kitchen. She had said ten minutes and had defiantly meant five minutes, but after three she decided she had punished herself enough. "You can start playing again," she called.

They both slumped toward the hallway and each stood in the door staring at the other for an hour, or an eon, or thirty seconds. Then they both grinned: very small grins at first. Once again my omniscience fails me: I don't know who broke first. If this were Final Jeopardy, however, I would say "Who is Rocky?"

Eventually Rocky mouthed, "Sorry," and Ally answered, "I'm sorry."

Rocky said, "No, I'm sorry," her grin growing.

She was answered by, "I'm sorrier!" They both knew this routine and did it well enough for Annie to peek though the door. They jumped onto the couch and started the movie, then Rocky jumped up and ran to get Maggie and her (Maggie's) brush.

Ally asked very, very carefully, "Can I brush her hair? Please?"

It did not take any thought at all for Rocky to hand over the doll now, but she said, "Boys aren't su'pos' to do that. Can I hold Bu-ceph-e-lus?"

Ally ignored the comment, passed her the horse and started to undo the doll's braid.

Rocky asked, "Why do you call him that?" She was stroking the horse's nose in the just right way.

"He was Alexander the Great's horse; the greatest horse in the whole world. This is Bucephalus the forth. You can call him Busef, if you want." Ally said, keeping his utter amazement that she didn't know this out of his voice.

"Oh, why is he forth?"

"The second my brothers gave me when I got home from the hospital," he said, "but when I …"

"Why were you in the hospital?" asked a very concerned Rocky.

Ally laughed, "When I was born, Silly – Mom said he got to yucky to play with so when I was five they gave me Bucephalus III – he was in a bicycle wreck and lost a leg and part of his nose."

Rocky giggled and Ally didn't mind, but after three years it still made him sad so he patted the newer horse's mane. "They are on top of my bookcase. Then Jim and T.K. got me this guy," he said. And his brothers had too: on their on initiative and with their on money and without the impetus of a special occasion. And neither of them had been involved in the wreck, either. Not your run of the mill big brothers but Ally didn't know that; his impressions were dependant on his own experiences and they were tough on him at times. He did, however, know that it was more than a connection to his namesake that made Bucephalus so important.

A few minutes later there was a knock and Annie let Grace in; they talked in the entry a while and as they came towards the den the kids heard: "Rocky got that lesson in Spain, but that's fine. My grandmother called it 'making kid soup' and would do four or five of us at once."

"I hope he goes along with it."

"It will speed things up too: unless it slows them way, way down."

When she walked into the room Grace said, "Hello, Rocky; Hi, Dally; been behaving yourself?"

His usual answer to that was a perturbed "Of course," this time he answered "Yeah … mostly."

That and the incline of Annie's smile gave Grace all the details she needed but Annie said, "Perfect angels … mostly."

Grace said, "I'm glad to hear it … Mostly. We need to get both of you washed and shampooed. I came over to help with that. It's an important day tomorrow. Annie and I have been talking and we thought – if you agree – we would throw both of you in to a big pot and let you get clean at the same time."

Modesty was still, more or less, just a set of rules to Ally. Casual nudity was infrequent but not unheard of in his home, even involving his big brothers and, very rarely, his parents. But this was different…

"Yeah; know what?" Rocky said, "I went skinny dipping in Europe; everybody did; on the beach."

Annie said, "I figured that when I saw the freckles on your butt."

Rocky feigned an attempt to slap her mother: because of the mention of her dermatological situation rather than because of the mention of her butt.

This was a whole new wrinkle in Ally's considerations; He was the Garlic-eater (he had really liked it) while Rocky only took a piece to small to see; he couldn't be out done now; … and if all the people here were OK with it as well as everybody in Europe …

"Sure," he said and Rocky sprinted towards the bathroom.

Annie said, "You get them started, Grace. I like to brush Rocky's hair right after it is rinsed."

Before Grace and Ally reached the bath Rocky was undressed, her clothes carpeting the room, and was pouring bubble bath under running water.

Grace adjusted the water temperature and Rocky stepped into the water and then jumped out and got a bucket full of naked babies and other toys from under the sink. She started launching some of these towards the tub; she hadn't used them in years but tonight called for something special. Grace knew this didn't bode well for speeding things along but made no objection. Just as Rocky sat in the tub Grace asked her where the washrags were, and Rocky bounce up before she could be stopped and streaked to the linen cabinet leaving a trail of water behind her.

Ally was getting undressed slowly, not out of modesty, but because he was so interested in watching Rocky. What interested him most were her excitement, which he was catching, and her total disregard of her state of dress; but there were other things too. He eventually had his clothes off and went to stand by the toilet, with his back turned squarely to the other two. Rocky called, "Hurry up, Ally," and he shuffled across the floor keeping his thighs held tightly together. The others didn't notice what he had done until he said, "Look, I am a girl now." He had his genitals hidden between his legs and was surprised and embarrassed the second he had said it.

Grace reminded herself that this was something like what she had wanted and expected; she knew it had been foolish to hope for more subtlety. Rocky was more clinical, she said, "That's dumb. You don't have a crack there or all the important stuff that's inside."

Red from embracement (over his joke) Ally climbed into the tub and set down. Grace said, "It is more than that, Al," as she started to remove his necklace.

"No," he said.

"He's su'pos' to never take it off," agreed Rocky.

"Yeah – forever and ever," Ally added.

"OK," Grace said, "but not in the water. You can put it back on the second you get out. It will stay nicer, and forever will be longer that way."

Ally acquiesced.

Then Rocky asked, "Is there a way that a boy can become a girl if he wants?

"If he goes all the way over the bar on the swing set," Ally said and both kids started giggling.

Grace had expected this question for years and had a well rehearsed answer; and now it had come from an unexpected quarter and her Ally was being silly about it. She knew she could easily duck it. But decided not to.

"Nope," she said nonchalantly, "unless there is some kind of magic I don't know about, and I don't think there is – swings don't work – then a boy can never become a girl." She stopped and counted off her well practiced three seconds while examining Ally: curiosity only; good she was in time.

"But," she said and paused to make sure Ally was looking right at her, "sometimes there are girls that are born in the wrong body; they just know they are because their body feels so wrong to them. And it happens to boys to; they are in a girl's body and know it is not right."

"It's their souls feel comfortable doing the wrong things," said Ally, his eyes now tightly shut under an onslaught of shampoo.

"Exactly, Allydally," Grace said and she thought, "He digested that fast."

It was Rocky that asked, "How does that happen," as she flop down on her stomach in the water. She was interested but mainly she wished Ally would hurry up with his shampoo, not that he had any control over it.

"Well," Grace said, "sometimes when the baby is developing – growing before it is born, things don't happen like they should; they don't always grow in just the right way. Considering all the things that have to happen just right in that time, I think it is fantastic that problems don't happen more often. Getting the wrong kind of body is like that."

"What other things happen," Rocky asked.

"Sometimes minor things like the birthmark on Ally's ankle." Grace said.

"That's what that is," said Rocky grabbing Ally's foot to take a better look at the quarter sized strawberry mark and lifting it a lot higher than needed so that he slid down into the water.

When she got Ally upright again Grace said, "Sometimes very sad things happen that make it very hard, even terrible, for the person their whole life."

Ally said, "Hey you've already done it twice!"

Grace said, "This is cream rinse. It will make your hair nice and soft and it smells good. See." She squeezed some out on to his nose then continued, "Sometimes very horrible things go wrong and the baby dies. Sometimes the doctors can fix it and make it almost perfect; sometimes they can make it easier for the person but not perfect; sometimes there is nothing they can do."

Ally asked, "Which one is people with the wrong bodies?" Finally the questions were coming for the right place.

"Well," Grace then answered, "They can't move the person into a whole new body, but they can make the body something the person feels better in, a lot more like the body they feel they belong in. They change some of the chemicals inside the body and some of the outside."

She started Ally's last rinse and hoped no more questions would be asked, she thought this was enough for now. A question did come, but it wasn't exactly the one she had feared or expected. She didn't realize how taken Ally had been with seeing Amy nurse Ben.

"Can the girls then have babies and fed them?" Ally asked.

"They can't have their own babies, Sweetie, the girl parts for that are very special, and the boy parts that help make the baby are too, the doctors can't change one into the other. But there are babies in the world that need moms and they could adopt one of those."

"Ah, you have to have a perfect girl body to do all the nice stuff," Ally said.

Rocky had seen Amy nine months pregnant and coming home with Ben, it didn't seem so nice to her. She also thought of cowboys and football players but those didn't seem as nice to her as they had a year or so ago, she wondered why. Her musings were interrupted by Grace saying, "All done." And then as she put the shower head, which was attached to a hose, back up she said, "Wash! With the soap and the wash rags! And leave the sprayer alone, you two can make a big enough mess with out it."

So Rocky now wondered why grownups only give you good ideas when they were banning them. The two of them each washed at least one forearm before they started pouring water over each others heads, bathing dolls, making hats out of bubbles and staging major naval engagements. They each got their anatomy lesson too; un-self-consciously and unconsciously, except that one of them had to point to where the pee came out: they were simply taking an interest in the universe around them.

After they had marinated long enough for the bubbles to melt most of the dirt, Annie and Grace came in and looked for any remaining stains. Ally was removed from the tub while Rocky got her shampoo. Grace started to dry him off but he yanked the towel away. He did comply however when she sat him on the countertop and started to blow dry his hair. This was weird; those machines were only for when there was a big hurry. His hair was brushed and was softer and fuller than before. Rocky was wrapped in a towel just as Grace started to fasten Ally's beads back on. Grace said, "I will bring your church clothes over tomorrow; I left your toothbrush and boxers for tonight in the entry, I'll get them."

But Rocky said, "Wait. Wait. I have something special for us to wear. They match. Can you wear 'em, please?"

Annie said, "Let Ally see first, then he can decide. If he wants to wear boxers he can."

This worried Ally but not for the reason you might think.

Grace went to get the boxers and Ally walked towards Rocky's room the towel around his waist so that he stepped on the bottom of it. In the bedroom most of the floor was covered by an open sleeping bag with a sheet and blanket spread on top, they were fold back near the two pillows as only a mother would set up a camp. Ally climbed on to the real bed to wait because there was little room to stand.

When the others got there Rocky also climbed across the bed to get to the dresser. For some reason they both protected the bed on the floor more than the real bed. She pulled out a pair of pajamas and a nightie, both were made of the same glossy blue material printed all over with clouds. Ally was relieved; it wasn't that he disliked green but had worried about how extreme it might get. He said, "Wow. They aren't wood elf clothes."

Rocky stood upright, her arms akimbo, and said, "I am not a wood elf," angry at Steve for spreading this slander to her friend.

Ally said, in as sincere a voice as he could manage, "We know you aren't, Rocky … It's just you always dress like one."

She launched on to the bed and tackled him by the shoulders. Ally cheated; he tickled her. Annie smiled as she picked Rocky up and said, "Come on, Pumpkin, let's brush your hair in the den and let Ally make his choice or you two will never get to bed and turn into real pumpkins soon."

Rocky but her towel back around her chest, picked up her wood tined brush and slumped towards the den; her hair was curly enough to defeat cream rinse; this wasn't her favorite thing.

Ally looked at the options arrayed before him. Even the nightgown was similar enough in form and function to the over-sized shirts he wore to bed all winter that he didn't think of any gender implications. With the conservativeness of childhood and to please Rocky he took the middle course. He pulled the shorts up and allowed Grace to tie their string. She asked if he wanted to wear the top: he never wore shirts to bed in summer but both parts had been given to him and he thought, wrongly, it might be the house custom, so he said yes. Grace held an arm hole open for him but he grabbed the top – that was far enough – "I'm not a baby, you know," he said and slipped the top on.

Grace too had had enough; he should not have said that. She said, "Oh, Yes you are!" and pulled him across her lap and tickled him, then she cradled his head in her arms and chucked his chin. "You will be my baby on your hundred and eleventeenth birthday and I will tell you not to eat your cake to fast or dangle your participles even then. And guess what, so are your brothers and I never let them forget it either." She kissed his nose.

This was his mom at her silliest and Ally liked it (he was incredulous about that last part though). "OK, Ok," he giggled but he didn't try to escape.

All but six people in the world, seeing Ally, snug in his mother's arms with his rich hair, wearing beads and shimmery PJ's with lettuce hems, would have seen a girl. Grace and Larry, however, would have seen their child, contented, loved, safe, and looked no further. Jim and T.K. would have seen The Little Pest and meant only the best by it. Rocky would have seen her new bestest friend, period, and would not even have thought to ask how he had become that so fast. (Ally had asked himself about it several times and given it up as imponderable but really nice.) Ally would have seen Ally with clean hair, nothing else meant anything really.

Ally reached up and stroked his mother's cheek, and thought this a good chance, at last, to ask the question he had been about to ask six hours before. Nothing ever slips out of this mind. "Remember Danni," he said.

Grace twitched, embraced him a tiny bit tighter and said "Forever and ever."

"What was she like?"

"A very sensitive, kind, bright, gentle, shy but friendly, joyful, little girl. A whole lot like you," Grace replied, not really meaning to apply girl to him.

The only thing Ally would have objected to was little, and he almost did but decided it would be useless. "When she died…" Ally said, he didn't like that word, "I was …" now he paused because he thought himself to mature to use the next term, but he had no other, "…in your tummy, right?"

"Yes," Grace said, tightening her embrace again and planning her next answer, she knew where this was going.

"Do you think she – her soul could have got into you – me?"

"No I don't, Dally. Do you know the word for that?"

"Reun-par-asion?"

"Eew, erase that!" Grace said, rubbing her knuckles across his forehead. "Reincarnation, chew it up," she said.

Ally spoke the word five times very slowly, moving his jaw or making smacking sounds between each time.

"Now swallow it." Grace said.

He smiled and said "Reincarnation gulp." They didn't do this as much as they once had.

Grace went on, "That is another of those things that people can never know for sure, and people think different things about it. It is a nice thought, that we might meet a lost friend again, but I believe, have faith in, something else. You know I'm going to become a Godmother tomorrow, right. Do you know what that means?"

"That you can have people rubbed out?" he giggled.

"Noooo," she said, "not that kind of godparent, the real kind. It means I will speak for Benjamin when he is baptized and that means I promise to help him grow into a good person and tell him of my faith and that I will always care about him. And the most important part of that faith, as I see it, is that we go to heaven if we have done our very best in life and cared about God. That also means we are, each and everyone, a special and unique person. You don't have to be a new Danni to be a very precious, extremely special and most unique person, Allydally."

He pondered for a while then smiled and said, "You modified an absolute – again."

She returned the smile and said, "I know I did. And with a superlative, too! Every once in a while, I guess, we can break some rules – of course nothing parents or teachers tell you not to do."

"Of course, Haha." He said and twirled the mustache that he didn't have. He had a well developed moral sense and knew the difference between rules and Rules, as she knew.

"I guess," she continued, "we can break some rules because it feels more comfortable in the situation. And I feel comfortable describing you with a superlative and an absolute because you're absolutely superlative."

Ally couldn't follow that – would have to get back to it later – but thought it called for a hug and he held on to Grace until she said, "Let's go see what Rocky and Annie have gotten up to."

They reached the den just as the movie reached the fake bloopers part and Rocky's hair got its last stroke. Ally threw the nightie on Rocky and himself on the couch. Rocky pulled the nightie away from Annie and glared at her for trying to dress her. Once the movie ended Grace said good night to all and gave Ally a goodnight kiss and a giant hug, Ally was only slightly embarrassed that Rocky had witnessed that. As soon as Grace got out the door, Annie said, "Mush, Mush, Teeth – Bed – Hurry! It's almost midnight!" In truth it was only 10:17, but parental exaggerations in such situations are permitted buy established tradition. When they reached Rocky's room, Ally crawled into the bed on the floor as Annie gave Rocky a goodnight kiss and a giant hug, Rocky was only slightly embarrassed that Ally had witnessed that. Then Annie tucked them both in, fluffed the pillows and smoothed out the covers to a state that would be impossible to maintain.

Just as she reached for the light Ally yelled, "Bucephalus," threw off the covers and dashed to the den. Then Rocky yelled, "Sidney," and followed him. On the way back Rocky said, "Boys aren't su'pos' to sleep with stuffed animals." Who starts these rumors? And who said Bucephalus was a stuffed animal? But that is what Rocky said; Ally didn't respond.

Back in Rocky's room, Annie, admitting her mistake to herself, patiently went through her ministrations again. This time she got the light off and as she closed the door she said, "'Night. Sleep tight. Don't bite the bed bugs."

Simultaneously Rocky from training and Ally in reaction said, "Yuck." This, of course, meant they had to lock pinkies and giggle. But both were happy to be in bed and both meant to go right to sleep, so they rolled on to their sides with their backs to each other.

After a couple of seconds Ally whispered, "Do you always sleep on that side?"

"Yeah, I think so." Rocky replied and so they climbed over, under and through each other to trade sides. Then they had to do it again to retrieve their totems. Once they were settled again they both intended to go right to sleep again. But then Rocky thought of a really important question. "How do you make Ben into a giraffe?" she asked and soon they were laughing again.

Annie called, "That's strike two; one more time and one of you will have to sleep in here."

That was unfair! Rocky hollered back, "When was strike one?"

"When you two were changing sides," Annie said. How do mothers do that?

They both said, "Shhh" at the same time but were too worried to lock pinkies again. Instead they each put an arm over the other. Rocky's eyes closed and the tip of her thumb went just inside her lips. This was too much for Ally. He stretched out his neck and kissed Rocky right between the eyes.

Rocky giggled silently and almost only mouthed, "Boys aren't su'pos' to do that."

Ally pulled his arm back and said, "Shut up, I don't care what boys are suppose' to do."

Rocky lean over and kissed his cheek and said, "You shut up, I don't care either." She was only just pointing it out, gee. But she never said anything like that to Ally again, not ever.

Ally slowly put his arm back across her shoulder and Rocky breathed again.

Ally's eyelids finally floated downward; he had a lot of things he wanted to think about tonight and he began with, "If I …"

All right, this sentence is going to contain a grammatical error but it is what Ally thought and I have left it alone. I don't think any child at the age of almost ten, even Ally with Ally's mother, would understand the subjunctive. But even if Ally did know the rule I don't believe he would want to admit this sentence contains a condition contrary to fact. Nor would he want to use the simple present in this sentence. So, as in many other things, Ally is locked into something that some consider wrong because it is the thing he feels comfortable with.

… he had a lot of things he wanted to think about tonight and he began with, "If I was a girl, I would …" That was as far as he got; there were too many possible clauses for him to pick from.

He slept.

He dreamed.

  

  

  

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