Sarah and Her Two Moms                  by: Kresha Matay

 

My life took a drastic change in 1976, at the age of twelve. Let me tell the reader about myself. My name was Jon. I am the only child of my late parents Eric and Lila Neilsen. As the reader can probably guess we are of Nordic decent. My father, died in Viet Nam before I was born, so my dear mother raised me alone. We had no other relatives living in this country. I guess I can safely say I led a normal childhood with but two exceptions. The first exception was that I never really enjoyed being with the other kids, I always wanted to be with the adults, especially my mother and her lady friends. I discovered, at an early age, that being with women was more interesting. The second difference was the way mom raised me. She had always wanted a daughter, but since she didn't get her wish, she raised me to act more like a girl than a boy. By this I mean, sensitive, polite, courteous and obedient to my elders, especial females. This fostered my desire to be with adult women as much as possible since they were more receptive towards my sensitive nature than the men or other kids.

Mom and I enjoyed a close and loving relationship. Everywhere she went, I went with here. If she went to the beauty shop, so did I. While she was having her hair done, I would sit, quietly watching how the she and the other ladies were transformed by the scissors, combs and brushes. The fantasy of being "fussed" over and pampered at the hands of an adult woman enhanced the warm glow I felt just being there. Even at my age, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to their feminine slanted conversations. This was "their" special domain, free of any intrusion by males. A place where the women could" let their hair down" and speak openly on subjects they wouldn't dare talk about in front of their husbands. I learned many things about the inner workings of the female mind while waiting for my mother to have her hair done.

If mom went shopping for dresses, skirts, blouses or even lingerie, there I was, in the dressing room sitting on the floor with mom standing over me. She, like most mothers of small boys, never felt uncomfortable letting me see her try on clothes. If a "snooty" saleswomen dared to look askance, mom either left the store immediately or asked for another saleslady. This closeness between us didn't change like it does for most boys (usually when they start school), until I was long past my eight birthday. At which time, mommy finally decided I was too old to go along with her inside these special places for women only, not because she was ever embarrassed, but because the other women in the dressing areas were becoming nervous by my presence.

My mother was very popular and had many friends. When we visited the homes of her female friends, I of course, went with her. Mom never left me in the hands of a sitter. Her lady friends eventually came to accept my constant presence at all of their social functions, even when their own children (some younger than I), would be outside playing together or had staid home in the care of a baby-sitter. In the beginning I would sit quietly and unnoticed, secretly listening to the women's conversations. Early on, Mom warned me never to speak out or divulged anything I might overhear. As the women gained confidence that their conversations would remain private their fear of my exposing their secrets lessened and finally disappeared altogether. As I grew a little older I was allowed to leave my chair and play with my miniature cars around the dinning-room table, never far from where mom sat, while the women talked. If their husbands were around, the men always adjourned to the family room and the kids went out to play. No matter whose house we were visiting the ladies stayed and talked while the men left to watch TV or play cards. After awhile, involved in their conversations, the women would totally forget I was crawling around the floor at their feet.

One day, after Thanksgiving dinner and the clean-up had been competed, I was once again on the floor playing with my toys. I must have been about nine at the time. One of my toy cars accidentally rolled under the long dinning table completely out of sight. The women, all dressed up in their best holiday outfits and totally relaxed after the huge meal, had moved to the far end of the table so they could talk without being disturbed by the men who where again watching an endless series of football games. Not wishing to interrupt my mother or her friends, I gently lifted the drape of the lace-edged tablecloth and silently crawled under the table from the end opposite from where they sat. It was difficult to see where my toy car might have rolled because the tablecloth blocked out most of the light. After my eyes became accustomed to the semi-darkness I began to search for my lost toy, crawling from one end of the table towards the other. Being extremely careful not to bump into any outstretched legs, I crawled towards where the women sat and where I supposed my toy had rolled.

Suddenly my progress was blocked by a pair of nylon clad legs ahead and also behind me. Having nowhere to go, I was forced to sit and wait until my escape route reopened. Bored at having to wait, I looked around and inadvertently discovered I was able to see up the casually splayed legs of the two women on either side of me. Slipping lower to the carpet enabled me to easily see past their spread knees, past where their nylons met the garters, all the way to where their thighs met their bodies. A flashback, of a previous visit with my mother to a store dressing-room, enabled me to recall the name of the garment to which the garters were attached...a girdle. Most of the women, I later realized, didn't really need the benefits derived from a girdle, they just never dressed up without wearing one (mom later told me it was a "southern" thing).

At my young age, seeing up their legs wasn't sexy, but instead, humorous. Covering my mouth so as not to laugh and thereby give myself away, my eyes strained to see between one woman's open thighs and the other's. Looking up their casually displaced skirts, I was spellbound by the two different styles of girdles, slips and panties they wore. In my mind I tried to remember which women's legs were displayed before me...unsuccessfully. Unable to contain my admiration for the beautiful lace on the red slip worn by the woman to my right, I gingerly stretched my fingers out to touch it. Finding out that I could safely do so without being discovered, I availed myself of the opportunity, running my fingertips gently across the silky smooth material.

"Oh, how nice it must feel to wear such beautiful underclothes!" I mused.

When my path finally re-opened, I decided I needed to see more. Moving from chair to chair, I studied each woman's lingerie in turn, making mental notes on how the garters attached to the welts of their nylons, the different patterns, shades, colors of their hose and how when a woman crossed her legs her under-thighs became exposed. I investigated the different lace patterns on each of their slips as the back portions dangled before me. The bright colors, while muted by the diffused light, entranced me. Each lady was different enough in the way she sat and what she wore to fascinate me. I don't know why I was mesmerized by the sights before me, I just was!

Nervous about being discovered, I began to turn around to make my escape when I gently bumped my left hip against the dangling foot of one of the women as she adjusted her position. I heard her say to her friends.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't hurt whoever I just kicked."

There was a momentary pause and then, when they realized she hadn't kicked any of them, all six women, including Mom, reached under the table, lifted the cloth and peered into the now brightly lit area. I had just enough time to turn my eyes towards the carpet, acting as if I was searching for something.

"What are you doing down there?" One of the ladies asked in a suspicious voice.

"Yes! What are you doing under the table?", voiced another.

Trying to look and sound lost, I directed my answer towards my mother.

"Mommy, my red car rolled under one of these chairs and I can't find it because there wasn't enough light to see anything when the tablecloth was down. Please, could someone help me find it, it's my favorite!"

By chance, I had not only given the perfect response, but I had been polite. If it was too dark to see my car, it was too dark to "see" anything else. The women were immediately placated, a few tittering at themselves because they had jumped to their supposed mistaken conclusion that I was rudely staring up their legs, even though I really was. To make amends to me but even more so to my mother for implying that her child had been rude, they helped me locate my lost toy. One woman discovered that it had rolled against her chair leg, obviously hidden from my view. My age, the lack of light and their finding my toy reassured them that I was absolutely innocent of any possible wrong doing. Politely thanking them for their help, I crawled out from under the table, whereupon those that had been my initial accusers offered me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As I left the immediate area, I overheard one women state.

"We must have been acting paranoid to even suggest that Jon was being rude. If it had been anyone else's child, including my own two boys, it might have been true. Jon, however is the most polite and courteous young boy I've ever met. Lila you should be very proud of the way you've raised him. He's a perfectly mannered young Southern gentleman. I wish my sons were more sensitive like Jon. It's so hard today to raise a boy to be refined. They have somehow picked up the mistaken idea that manners are for sissies. He's also the prettiest little boy I know. He's sure to grow up into a handsome man. Well, maybe I'll be lucky and he'll be my son-in-law one day. My daughter could sure do worse."

That night, in my room, I reconstructed the incident in my mind, discovering that I enjoyed "fooling" the women and that I "liked" looking up their skirts. What I came to realize was…I liked seeing and touching their attractive lingerie. I liked the different colors. I remembered how pretty each woman's slip looked with its shiny colors and it's lace edges. I especially enjoyed the sounds their nylons made as they crossed and re-crossed their legs. The last thought I remember, before sleep overtook me was..."I wish I wore pretty clothes like momma's friends do!"

That wasn't the last time I crawled under the table to stare up women's skirts. Any time the ladies got together I would invent a reason (if caught) to be under their chairs. Most of the time I went undiscovered. Whenever I was careless, the worst that happened was my being asked to get out from under the table and play somewhere else. In fact, it got to the point where if someone did kick another woman's foot, instead of apologizing to her friend they apologized to me, even if it was obvious I wasn't under the table. Whenever this happened, the women would giggle amongst themselves. Oh, sometimes one or another might remember I could be down there and adjusted the drape of her skirt or the way she sat. But for the most part, they either forgot about me, thought I was too young for it to matter or they never realized how much they exposed to someone lying up under their chairs. Again, let me remind the reader, I wasn't interested in seeing their bodies...just their lingerie. I had no knowledge of the subject of sex, or at this age, even realized that the genders were different. I just liked the way women's lingerie looked and wished I could wear pretty clothes like they did.

I continued my voyeuristic practices under the different tables at the houses of my mother's friends till about the age of twelve. Mom had recently caught me looking at her clothes in a "longing" manner, studying ladies wear catalogs, staring at her nylon clad legs as she drove our car and/or innocently asking impromptu questions about the manner in which her clothes fit or what they where made of. My naiveté must have given me away or maybe mothers’ have a "sixth" sense.

One Saturday, a few weeks before we were going to a masquerade party, she asked. "What costume are you going to wear for the party?"

I answered. "I haven't given it much thought. Momma, do you have any suggestions? What are you going as? Maybe I could go as your partner."

"I'm going as a high-school cheerleader. You know, a big white sweater with a big red letter on the front, a very short pleated yellow skirt, white ankle socks with lots of lace and a pair of yellow tennis shoes. I'm going to tie my hair in a couple of pony-tails with yellow and white ribbons. You can be my partner, if you want, but you'll have to dress as a young girl. I have enough materials left over to make you a costume just like mine. I might even have an extra sweater you can wear. Remember, if you do go as my partner, you'll have to really dress like a girl. That is with bright yellow panties under your short skirt that everyone will see and you'll have to wear a bra stuffed with something to make the sweater fit right. You'll also have to wear make-up and lipstick! Well, what do you think? Are you going to wear girl's underwear?"

Trying to hide the excitement I felt, I asked? "Do I have to wear all that stuff just to go as your partner?"

Mom answered, "If you're going as my partner...yes! Besides it's no big deal, lots of men dress as females for masquerade parties. You'll probably have a lot of fun."

"OK. I'll be your partner if you don't tell anyone who we are till after the judging."

"In that case, we better get started on your costume right away. Come into my room so I can measure you for a skirt and see if I can adjust an old bra to fit you."

I followed mom to her room where she told me to get undressed. As she was my mother and had seen me naked many times before, I obeyed without any hesitation. As I removed my clothes mommy began searching her lingerie drawers for the necessary undergarments to transform my male frame into that of a young girl's. Deciding that none of her adult bras would fit properly she came up with the idea of using an old bathing suit top which tied in the back. This simulated the look of a bra and when "stuffed" would add shape to my upper torso.

Mom stuffed each cup with an old nylon thereby giving me small but youthful looking breasts. Handing me a pair of bright yellow shiny nylon panties she assisted me in pulling them up my legs and around my tush. My maleness was of no consequence at this age and barely caused a bulge, which mom easily corrected by adjusting my small penis back between my legs. Next she took the yellow pleated skirt she had made for herself and had me step into it. Since it was too long, mom rolled the waistband under itself till she was satisfied the length was correct...just barely covering my panty clad buns. The skirt's elastic waistband and the rolling took up enough slack to hold it up on my smaller frame. Then instead of the bulky and oversized "letter sweater", mom handed me a clingy yellow knit turtleneck to pull over my head, shoulders and newly formed breasts. Reaching under my knit top she re-adjusted the placement of my falsies and also aligned them properly. Looking in the dresser mirror, I was amazed at how quickly a few feminine undergarments had changed my frame from a young boy's to that of a teenage girl's. Mom’s tennis shoes were too large, so instead she brought out her white leather ankle length go-go boots with their three inch heels.

She explained. "These will make you look taller at the same time they'll make your legs more girlish looking. Try walking with a sway in your hips, it'll help foster the illusion."

My first faltering steps caused mom to burst out in robust gales of laughter. Coaching me to "step" forward toe first and to take smaller steps quickly solved the problem. With practice, we both agreed I would have no problem wearing her heeled boots. Mom was certainly right about how much better my hairless thighs and calfs looked in her boots.

Taking my hand mom drew me to her vanity table, sat me down and then proceeded to brush my long blonde hair back into two ponytails with bangs (this was the era when all young boys wore their hair long). Then a small amount of pink blusher, mascara and red lipstick were added. Clip-on red heart shaped earrings adequately completed the transformation. All these preparations had only taken 45 minutes, but the results where astounding. Looking at my features in the mirror I saw not the overly pretty faced boy I was, but the very pretty young girl I had now become. The pleased smile upon my face gave me away.

Mom exclaimed. "I think you really enjoy looking like a girl!"

Then, lost in her own confused thoughts, she stated. "You sure are a pretty girl! Your going to make me so proud when you grow up into a pretty young lady!"

For a moment we just stared at each other. I asked myself. "Did mom really say what I thought she said. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could grow up to be a girl. Oh, if only mommy knew how much I really wanted that."

Mom interrupted my thoughts. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight. I was so delighted at how pretty you look, all dressed up in my clothes, I got somewhat confused. For a moment there I thought of you as my daughter and totally forgot you are my son. I love you the way you are. Do you understand, I was just bewildered for a moment."

"Mommy, please don't worry about it. It's OK. I know how much you've always wanted a little girl of your own. I've been under the table and heard you tell your lady friends how you miss doing all the things a mother and her daughter would normally do together. I really wish I had been born a girl baby instead of a boy baby! That way you could have your wish and we could do all the mother/daughter things you talked about doing. They all sound so exciting, it makes me wish I was a girl!"

I paused to catch my breath before venturing further. "We could go clothes shopping together like we used to when I was younger, except as your daughter I could also try on the pretty dresses and slips. If I were a girl we could even dress up like each other. I've always wanted to grow up to be pretty just like you! Mommy, I miss the idea of doing all these things with you. It was fun doing them together! I miss going with you to the hairdressers. I remember sitting in the waiting area envying you. Wishing it was me the lady would make beautiful. I also wanted the nail lady to make my hands as pretty as yours. Do you know what I miss the most? The way we used to cuddle. You don't cuddle or hug me like you did when I was younger. I used to sit in your lap with my head against your warm shoulder, your arms wrapped around me, dreaming that I could stay there forever. Do you remember what you did whenever I got sick or had a bad dream? You'd let me crawl in bed with you and we would hug and snuggle against each other until I fell asleep. I always felt so warm and secure when you held me. Now, when I have a bad dream you no longer let me crawl in your bed. I know I'm growing up and shouldn't miss those things...but I do!"

Mom looked at me strangely for a long moment. Whatever thoughts she had caused her to frown and then quickly ask me a series of questions.

"Jon, do you think you'd really like wearing girl clothes?"

Twirling around so that my skirt "flounced" out exposing my nylon covered buns, I stated. "Oh yes! I like how they make me look pretty and how they feel! Boys clothes are too rough and they're just not pretty. I would love to have my clothes so soft and filmy that they would "float" against me when the wind blew. Girl's clothes come in so many colors and pretty materials. You don't know how often I've snuck into your room just to touch your lingerie. And it's more than just the clothes. Little girls get to wear perfume. I love how they smell. I dream of growing up, being out on my own, owning and wearing skirts, blouses, dresses, nightgowns, panties, nylons and high heels of my very own! Living a secret life as a woman. Often I wanted to tell you my secret...but I was afraid you wouldn't understand."

"Honey, I didn't know you felt this way. I know how you must feel! It is wonderful to be a woman! I remember all the special things my mother and I did together when I was your age. You’re absolutely right! If you had been born a girl, there are all kinds of joys we could’ve shared together. I've always wished you had been born a little girl. That's probably why I treated you more like a daughter than a son. Even some of my lady friends have told me that you have a temperament more suited for a little girl than for a boy. They wish their sons were as sensitive as you are. I only wish you had come to me sooner with your secret longings, but its not too late! After the masquerade is over, if I could arrange it, would you like to wear little girl clothes around the house once in awhile. We would act as if you were my daughter instead of my son? I would let you wear dresses, paint your nails, curl your hair and cuddle you just like any other mother would treat her little girl. We would even change your name to the one I had picked if you had been born a girl...Sarah. I could teach you all the things a mother teaches her young daughter. All about clothes, make-up, hair-styling, cooking, baking and sewing. We could spend our weekends as mother and daughter. You’ll be so pretty dressed as a little girl we could even do things away from the house and nobody would ever suspect you weren't my Sarah. Would you like that?"

"Mommy, I'd like that very much! I've dreamed about wearing pretty party dresses and shiny black Mary-janes like I see on other little girls. See, I'm already thinking of myself as a girl. And I love the name Sarah. Someday, I'd also like to wear bras, slips, panties, high heels and nylons like I see you and your lady friends wear. I have another secret to tell you. When I played under the table I used to look up your lady friends dresses and see all the lovely lingerie they wore under their skirts. Their "pretties" looks so shiny, come in such bright colors and have all that beautiful lace on the edges. That's how I want to dress everyday when I grow up."

"Could you keep it a secret? We couldn't ever tell anyone about your dressing in little girl clothes! Most people would think I forced you to wear dresses and might even take you away from me."

"Yes, I promise, I would never do anything that would hurt you. I love you too much!"

"OK, since we both want you to be my little girl, let's give it a try. Oh, this is going to make me so happy. You get your wish the same time I get mine! We'll dress you up as my little girl, Sarah. Oh, wait a minute, where am I going to get the clothes, none of my stuff will fit you very well?"

"Just for today, can't we borrow some little girl clothes from one of your lady friends who have a daughter my size? Then later on you could buy me my own dresses.", I questioned hopefully.

"I'm sure my friends would me lend the clothes, but what reason could I give them for wanting little girl dresses, petticoats, ankle socks and shoes? How about...no that wouldn't work. Either would that. Oh, I know what will work! We'll tell them I'm going to the masquerade dressed as the Queen of Hearts and you're going as Alice in Wonderland. I can tell them I'm bringing a date who's going as the rabbit! I'll tell them I need the clothes to get the right measurements for your costume. Wait a minute, I know where I can get the perfect outfit for you. My "special" friend Anna can help me!"

"Oh! Yes! I like Anna! And I think Anna likes me? She's the pretty lady who sometimes stays overnight and sleeps in your bed with you after I go to sleep? I'm probably wrong, but sometimes, I think she lets me "see" up her skirt on purpose." I innocently stated.

I could see that my comment bothered mom. Why I didn't know. Hoping whatever it was hadn't made her change her mind, I asked.

"What's wrong? What did I say that's bothering you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by my question. I like Anna. I think she's beautiful. You must like her too! I hear the two of you, late at night, laughing and giggling in your bedroom. She's the only other woman besides you I wish I could look like! She beautiful and wears the prettiest lingerie. When I'm hiding under the table I can always tell Anna's panties from the rest of the other women...they're always the prettiest! Sometime, when she's staying over, I sneak peeks at her nightgowns hoping that someday I'll wear pretty things just like she does when I get big. Mommy, I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

"Honey, you don't have to be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong. I think it's time I told you my secret. What I'm about to tell must remain hush-hush between you, Anna and me. Nobody else must ever know. If people found out, they would definitely take you away from me. Will you promise to never let anyone know about what I'm going to tell you?"

Nodding my head, mom began telling me her secret. She started by asking if I knew anything about sex. When I explained that I knew the basics because I had studied our medical encyclopedia when she wasn't around. I told her I knew what a man and a woman did to have a baby. I also knew that it brought pleasure when it was done in a loving and caring way.

Mom explained that when my father died she had lost all interest in other men, but that as time went on, she started to get certain urges. Mom had to explain what these urges were because I didn't know about them. At first she had resisted these urges, but they just got stronger and came more often. Then mom explained how she met Anna when looking for a cocktail dress at Anna's shop one day. The minute mom saw the beautiful woman she found she was strangely attracted to her. When mom needed some help getting in and out of the dress, Anna offered her assistance. Mom's urges that day had been very strong. The instant Anna's warm fingertips brushed across mom's breasts to smooth out the material, mom found herself taking Anna into her arms and kissing her! Anna, instead of pushing mom away in disgust, returned the kiss with enthusiasm. Mom had no idea, at the time, that Anna was a lesbian. A woman who made love to another woman, she explained, was called a Lesbian. She explained that two women could also satisfy the urges. The way she simplified what they did for each other sounded, oh, so beautiful. Holding and hugging each other without any clothes. Touching, rubbing, kissing and nibbling each other all over their pretty bodies made me want to be a Lesbian. She told me it was gentler than when she made love to my father. Both ways were good, just different, she explained.

"I love Anna!" Mom stated. "I can't imagine living without her. I realized the day was soon coming when I would have to either tell you about the two of us or break off our relationship. We've talked about it, but we were afraid you wouldn't understand. Since you now know about us, how do you feel towards Anna and I?"

"Mommy, I love you! What difference does it make who makes you happy? If Anna makes you happy, then I'm happy. Why don't you tell the truth about why we need little girl clothes. If you trust her as much as you say you do...than I trust her also! That way she can even help me dress-up if she wants."

"Jon, you don't know how good an idea that is! I'm sure she would love to help us. The reason she has some little girl clothes is that when she got divorced her husband got custody of their daughter Cindy. He caught Anna with another woman and there was a scandal. Anna's lover couldn't take the "heat" and left her. She lost everything except her business and the house. When we're lying in bed late at night I sometimes catch her crying over the loss of her daughter. I feel so sorry for her. It must be worse to have had a little girl and then have her taken away than to never having had one. Anna only gets to see her one month each summer. That's why she has the clothes I mentioned. Cindy, outgrew them while she was here last summer. Anna's been planning to give them to charity, but I really think she likes having them near her. If she helps us, could you sometimes act as if you were her little girl. I wouldn't mind sharing you with her if you don't mind. Then you could have two Mommie’s to hug and cuddle with. Two Mommie’s to go shopping with. Two Mommie’s to dress you in pretty clothes and do your hair. Two Mommie’s to do mother/daughter things with. Do you think you'd like that?"

"Oh, you make it sound so exciting. Of course I would love to have two Mommie’s. I could be both your little girls. Do you really think she would accept me in place of Cindy?"

"Let's go over there and find out!"

"Don’t you think I should change?" I asked.

"No. Let's see if she can tell you’re really my son under that outfit."

That's how it all started. We drove over to Anna's, rang the doorbell and when she answered, mom told her I was the little girl who lived next door to us. Mom was watching me while the little girl's mother was in the hospital having another baby. Anna was fooled completely! I fell in love with her immediately when she said.

"You are the prettiest little girl I've ever seen! You're even prettier than my little girl Cindy! I only wish she was here so you could meet her. I'm sure you two would get along well together, she's just a bit older than you."

Hugging me to herself (the way most women greet each other), I thanked her for her compliment and told her I hoped I would grow up to look as beautiful as she. This brought an instant smile to her face and earned me another hug and even a kiss on the cheek. Moving to the living room the two women sat down on the couch while I took the wing chair facing them. After a few moment of idle chit-chat, Anna caught me staring up her casually displaced skirt. The first time she caught me, she just frowned. When I continued to openly stare she interrupted my mother's conversation to censure me for my most un-lady like behavior.

"Sarah, it is very impolite, actually quite rude to stare up a woman's dress! Hasn't your mother ever taught you better. I can sometimes understand it in a young boy, they're not as gentile nor as refined as we're brought up to be. Young ladies should never act in such a manner, no matter how curious they may be. Lila, this girl may be the prettiest creature I've ever seen but she certainly needs her manners improved. Why even your son doesn't so openly stare at my lingerie."

Mom exclaimed "Anna, I'm surprised at you! Are you saying that it's OK for my son to stare up your legs but its rude if a young girl does the same? What would you do if it was my son, open your thighs wider so he could see better?"

"If it was your son instead of this girl...I would! I've never told you this but I've caught him many times trying to look at my lingerie, especially my nightgowns. I've discovered he doesn't peek in order to see my gender differences, only my lingerie. I've dismissed it as the normal curiosity of a young boy. Besides I love your son. Outside of staring up my skirts, he's the most polite young boy I've ever known. So if he "needs" to see up a woman's skirt, to "study' the lace on her slip or the color of her panties, then I prefer that it be my skirt. Therefore I let him. That way I know he won't get in trouble staring up the thighs of a woman who doesn't understand his needs. But why are we discussing this in front of Sarah? Aren't you at all afraid she'll tell someone and cause us embarrassment? Haven't I had enough scandal in my life already?"

Grasping the opportunity, I interrupted. "Miss Anna, the only reason I stared up your skirt was because you've let me do it so often in the past. I think you own the prettiest lingerie and you've got the best looking legs of any woman I've ever stared at. If you really meant what you said about exposing your lingerie to Miss Lila's son then I think you should do the same for me since I'm her son under these little girl clothes!"

Anna's mouth dropped open in shock. A look of utter disbelief, followed by a look of uncertainty and then finally one of true understanding crossed her shocked face.

Turning to my mother, she asked. "Is it really Jon dressed up as a little girl? Oh, I can't believe how much better he looks as a girl than as a boy! He, I mean, she is absolutely beautiful! I always thought it was a shame his "prettiness" was wasted and I can see I was right. How did this happen? "

Mom and I took turns explaining in detail what had gone before. Then mom explained that she had also told me about their being lovers. I re-assured Anna that it made no difference in the way I felt about them. I think what convinced Anna was my statement that I wished I could one day be a Lesbian too.

Then we told Anna our plan for me to become a part-time little girl...their little girl! As we continued, tears of joy began to roll down Anna's cheeks. Looking over at my mommy for help I discovered she also had cheeks wet with tears. Feeling a warm glow build inside myself, knowing I was the cause of their joy, I rushed over to the couch and threw my arms around them both. The three of us hugged and cuddled and cried and giggled like schoolgirls till we finally were drained of all emotion. Moving to the kitchen, Sarah's newest mother poured us each a glass of ice tea as we now discussed how we should go about my gender transformation.

I spent that entire weekend as little Sarah. Anna surprised me with all kinds of little girl clothes she had stashed away that her daughter had outgrown or didn't care to wear any longer. I got to wear party dresses with lots of petticoats that rustled as I walked. Ruffled panties, socks with lace that matched my dresses and mom even went to a Pay-less shoe store and bought me a pair of black patent leather Mary-janes. That night I took my first little girl bubble bath. When I got out of the tub the women took turns patting me dry. Mommy brushed my hair till it glowed and put the ends up in little curlers while Anna painted my finger and toenails a pretty rose pink. They even pierced my ears. When it was time to go to bed Anna gave me a pair of baby-doll pajamas that Cindy had outgrown. Tucking me into bed both my Mommies gave me a warm and loving kiss good-night. Then Anna gave me the best surprise...a dolly of my very own. I named her Debbie, kissed my dolly goodnight and tucked her in the fold of my arm. It had been such an exciting day that I fell asleep almost immediately.

In the middle of the night, I awoke in terror. I had dreamt that everything that had happened was just a lie. Even though I was dressed in Cindy's nightgown, I was still confused and scared. Rushing to the other bedroom, I called out for my mommy! As I stood in the doorway I heard two voices answer.

"It's OK, honey come to mommy."

Now I knew it hadn't been a dream. Climbing over the foot of the bed I was welcomed into the warm reassuring arms of both my mothers. Placing me between them we hugged and cuddled until I fell asleep wrapped in the arm's of my two loving mothers.

Sunday morning started my first lessons in how to "act" as a little girl. My first lesson came when I went to the bathroom. Before I could lift up the seat Anna stepped into the room and told me to stop. She explained that girls must "sit" when they relieve themselves and that they have to be careful how they lift their clothes so they don't have an accident. I also was taught how to "pat" myself dry, I now began to realize there was more to being a girl than just wearing the clothes. We spent the day in practicing how to curtsy, how to talk, how to gesture, how to sit, how to fix my skirts, stand and walk. It wasn't all work, nor easy, but it was fun.

Later that afternoon we went to a fancy restaurant. I was dressed in a light blue pinafore dress, with two white petticoats, which rustled as I walked. My white Mary-janes (they had been Cindy's), white gloves and a straw "sailors" hat with two ribbons dangling in back finished my ensemble. My hair, curled at the ends, bounced at my shoulders. I carried a matching white patent leather shoulder purse.

While we were waiting to be seated we overheard an older woman, talking to her husband, say. "Doesn't that little girl look lovely! That's the way little girls should all be dressed, not the way most mothers dress them today. That's the way I used to dress our little girls! Nowadays you can't tell the girls from the boys. Well, it's a certainty that nobody will ever mistake that little girl for a boy...she’s too pretty!"

For the next three years, every other weekend either one or both of my Mommie’s would dress me up as their little girl. I became so convincing at acting the part, we were able to go everywhere as mother and daughter. Sometimes, when the three of us went out together, one of my Mommie’s alternated as my Aunt. Both my moms made necessary changes in their lives. They each switched beauty shops so I could go with them. Wherever it was know they didn't have a daughter at home, we no longer frequented that establishment.

Only once did we run into what could have been a serious problem. We found ourselves in line to see a movie when Momma Lila was discovered by one of her friends. Anna took over and introduced me as her daughter. Just then a neighbor of hers, leaving the theater, spied us. What saved us was that her neighbor didn't remember what the real Cindy looked like and just made the assumption that's who I was. At other times we completely "fooled" anyone we chanced to meet who knew any of us.

More and more I desired to become a full-time girl. By my fifteenth birthday, I had decided that something must be done on a more permanent basis. By this time I was well versed in the feminine arts: cooking, baking and sewing my own clothes. Being a part-time girl was depressing! I wanted to "step-up" to being a teen-age girl on a permanent basis. Namely I wanted to wear bras, nylons and "sexier" styles of clothes. In addition, I had begun to notice subtle changes beginning in my male body. By this time my balls had dropped and my penis was beginning to grow. My leg hair was getting darker and heavier. Thank god for my Nordic ancestors, it was still light in color. I had found three hairs on my chest (I quickly pulled them out). These were warning signs that I was starting into puberty.

The scariest change was I was getting erections. I had decided that I didn't want to ever be a man, so if I was to prevent that from occurring, something needed to be done...and soon.

I had secretly gone to the local library and searched the racks until I came across a book about a young man who had changed his gender. I found out about the effects that hormones had on the body. Estrogen and Progesterone if taken at an early age could overcome the natural hormones my body would produce. They would even confuse my system and eventually it would only produce feminine hormones. I would grow real breasts, wider hips, softer skin, have less body hair, no beard and a more feminine pitch to my voice. I was prepared to discuss this with both my mothers right after the party that they were preparing over at Anna's house.

Deciding to take matter into my own hands, I entered my mother's bedroom. I was home all alone. I knew in which drawers mom kept her various lingerie. Opening drawer after drawer, I selected a matching black and red satin bra, panty and garterbelt set placing them on mom's bedspread. Black silhouette hose, a sheer black chiffon backless cocktail dress, a black mini-slip, a pair of 3" black patent leather heels with a thin ankle strap and two sets of foam rubber shoulder pads were added to the pile. Rummaging through mom's better jewelry, I selected her pearl necklace and matching earrings. I quickly removed my clothes, noticing I was developing an erection just from the idea of wearing her clothes.

I clipped the garterbelt around my waist, spinning it around for proper placement. Grasping a nylon I gently balled it up, inserted my foot into the toe portion and rolled the filmy material up my leg. Attaching the garters, I did the same with the other foot. The panties and bra came next, followed by the mini-slip. Before stepping into the cocktail dress I inserted two sets of mom’s shoulder pads into each bra cup, filling them quite adequately. I reveled in the luxurious vibrations coursing through my nerve endings brought about by the sensuous lingerie. The dress, heels and jewelry quickly followed. Turning to mom's vanity I selected adult make-up more in keeping with the style of my outfit than I had ever previously worn. Removing my ponytails, I brushed out my hair with a "flip" at the ends. Staring at my image in the mirror, I was quite pleased with the vision of young loveliness peering back at me. This was the very first time I had dressed up as anything other than a little girl. I loved the look and feel!

Relishing how delicate I now felt I "twirled" around and around causing my chiffon skirt to flair away from my body exposing the welts of my nylons and the mini-slip that barely covered my panty covered buns. At that moment of pure ecstasy that a female reaches when she is absolutely certain that she looks stunning, I heard giggling in the hallway. Whipping around, I spied both my mother's smirking faces. Before I could utter a word to explain, Anna said to Lila.

"I guess we're a couple of hours late with our Birthday presents! Our daughter has gone ahead and surprised us with her own instead."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I sure was happy they weren't upset about my being dressed the way I was without their permission. Stepping into the room, Lila, followed by Anna, hugged and kissed me all the while complimenting me on my appearance. Moving to the living room, Momma Lila explained Anna's statements.

"Anna and I have been thinking. You’re fifteen now. We can no longer dress you up as a little girl anymore. It's time for you to step up to the next level of womanhood, that is, becoming a young lady. We've begun to notice the physical changes occurring in your male body. It's time for you to make a decision. You have a couple of options. One, you can continue to dress as a part-time girl, but in teenage styles. By that we mean, a training bra, sexier panties, slips, nylons, high heels, etc. If you chose this option we're afraid it will only be a year or two before the physical changes in your body force you to give up crossdressing. You won't look like a pretty girl much longer. Instead you'll look exactly like what you are...a pretty boy in girls clothes. You won't be able to go outside the house dressed as a young woman. You'll be easily recognized as a crossdresser and have to take a lot of abuse over it. If you do go out, Anna and I will no longer be able to be seen with you. If we did, we'd have to denounce the way you dress to protect ourselves so that we can at least stay together. We don't think you'll be happy if you choose this course."

Anna spoke. "Two, you can give up crossdressing entirely and be a boy all the time. We don't think you'll be happy that way either. You obviously enjoy your femininity too much."

Lila continued. "Three, we can take you to a "special" doctor. She's a friend of ours. Actually she's Anna's gynecologist. You've been to her office with Anna in the past. We've already talked to her about your special needs. She never even suspected you weren't just another pretty little girl. I'm still not sure if we've convinced her you’re actually a boy in girl’s clothes. After she exams you, she's willing to give you the necessary hormone injections that will stop your male puberty growth and begin to transform you into a "real" woman."

I quickly interrupted. "Stop right there! You needn't go any further, that's the choice I want. I've been studying the subject myself at the library. I've also noted the changes starting to occur in my body. I don't want to be a boy or even a part-time girl! I want to become a "real" young lady and eventually a "real" woman like you two. I want "real" breasts! I can no longer be satisfied living a double life. If you hadn't brought this up, I was going to do it. When can we go see "my" gynecologist?"

By now all three of us were smiling at each other. They knew what I wanted, My moms had only been teasing me in order to make sure it was truly my decision. This was my real Birthday present, the best present I ever received. Our smiles turned into tears as we realized how happy my decision made all of us. We stood there, our arms wrapped around each other, hugging and kissing as the salty tears streamed down our cheeks causing our make-up to run. After we composed ourselves Anna said.

"Sarah, we have another surprise for you! Lately when we cuddle together, your mother and I have noticed that you sometimes get an erection! Now don't you go getting embarrassed. It's perfectly natural with all those male hormones coursing through your system for you to get sexually aroused, lying next to two full grown women, hugging and kissing you. Especially dressed the way we three are in our negligees. I, for one, would be disappointed if I didn't cause you a hard-on and even though she's your mother you shouldn't expect to be immune from her female attributes. Afterall, she's got the best set of tits I've ever played with!"

This caused mom to falsely scream at Anna and at the same time smile at the compliment,. A rosy blush of embarrassment brightened mom's face. This was the first time we had so openly discussed a sexual topic.

Anna continued. "We think it's time you discovered what an adult woman looks like…naked. Your mother came to me with the suggestion that I be the one to show you. I'm doing all the talking because your mother is somewhat embarrassed. I immediately consented to her request, because I love you so much and can't think of a better way to show you my true feelings. I also felt very privileged to be your first naked woman, I view it as a gift for both of us."

I started to interrupt when Anna placed her finger against my lips.

"Don't say a word! Your turn will come. Even your mother doesn't know what I'm going to say now. Since the day she asked me, I've been thinking about her request. At first I was overjoyed. Then the more I thought about your request Lila, the madder I got. How can you insult me by saying it's OK for me to stand naked before Sarah, but inappropriate for you to do the same. I'm as much his mother as you are his mother. There are a lot of women who give birth to a child but never act as its mother. Motherhood is not exclusively a physical relationship, but one of love and caring. I consider Sarah my child also! I know I love her as much as you do! I realize you didn't mean to imply that I'm not her mother, what you meant was I wasn't her physical parent. Well, so what! Social mores be dammed...we're practicing lesbians and who's going to tell? So tell me why we can't both show him the beauty of a woman's body. I won't show my body to our Sarah unless you do so also."

"Momma, Anna's right! You’re both my mothers. So you two decide, together or not at all!"

Momma Anna and I turned to Momma Lila. Tears were running down her cheeks all over again. She was so emotionally flustered she couldn't speak. Finally, wiping away the tears with a tissue taken from the top of her dresser, she composed herself long enough to say.

"I love you two! Anna, you don't know how much I really wanted to join you. I wanted to share that special moment when he sees his first naked woman. All the things you've said are true. There isn't a good reason for the three of us not to expose our bodies to each other, afterall, aren't we all "girls". I was just afraid you wouldn't understand and I was afraid it might change how you felt towards me. I'm so stupid! I know how much you two love me. Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"

No further words were needed. The three of us hugged and kissed all over again until I asked, "Are you really going to let me see you without any clothes?"

"Don't you want to see us without any clothes?" teased Anna.

"Oh yes, very much. You've both been so very careful in the past in the way you dressed in front of me. The most you've allowed me to see is when your getting dressed and stand in front of a mirror in your slips, putting on your makeup or doing your hair. Even when I stare up your skirts, it's usually too dark to see much more than the color of your panties. And when you cuddle me in bed between you it's always in the dark. I've thought about walking into your bedrooms when you were getting dressed to surprise you naked, but I was afraid you’d get upset, so I never did it. I want to know what women's breasts look like! I want to see you naked all over. I know what my sex organs look like, I want to see what women's bodies look like. I'm confused. I'm sure I want to one day become a woman, but I can't be positive till I see what I'll look like and how it'll function. What if I don't want to look that way...what'll I do then."

By this time my mothers were giggling uncontrollably. They hadn't realized how confused I was about female anatomy.

My mother Lila, stood and took my hand, pulling me to her bedroom. On the way, I heard Anna's footsteps fall in behind us. Entering the bedroom my mother sat me down at the foot of the bed. Without a moments hesitation Momma Lila began to undress in front of me. Off came the dress and then her full slip. Then it was Anna's turn. She quickly followed my mother's lead. There they stood, still in high heels, two beautiful women covered only by their bras, panties, nylons and garterbelts. They were in the prime of their lives, early thirties, blessed with the firm feminine bodies men have fought wars over since the beginning of time.

Lila wore a matching black lace bra, panty and garterbelt set, while Anna wore a similar set in "hot" red satin. I couldn't control my eyes! I didn't know where to focus. I wanted to see everything all at the same time.

Anna winked at Lila and they began to "parade" around the room, Stooping and bending to pick up an imaginary piece of lint, sometimes while facing me, sometimes at an angle and sometimes with their backs turned towards me. As they walked, Anna "pointed" out how Lila's breasts bounced, jiggled and swayed more than hers. How their hips shifted with every step and how tight their stomach and thigh muscles were.

I was amazed at the differences in each of their bodies. I knew they wore the same size dress, but now realized they weren't built the same.

The women took turns pointing out their differences. Lila had slightly larger and fuller breasts, while Anna's breasts were higher on her frame and she had a larger tush. Anna's frame was shorter, while her legs were longer which compensated so that both women were the same height. I felt a stirring inside my silken panties.

 

To be continued…maybe.

 

© 1995
The above work is copyrighted material. Anyone wishing to copy, archive, or re-post this story must contact the author for permission.