A Royal Bender

by Commentator

 

The drunk staggered down the boardwalk accosting everyone he came across asking for change to buy another drink. Two young toughs, tired of his panhandling grabbed him by the shirt and tossed him over the rail into the sea.

"Maybe that'll sober you up, you drunken old coot, " they laughed as they walked away.

The drunk floundered about until he realized the water was only a couple feet deep and staggered back to shore. Dripping wet he began climbing back up the beach still driven by his need for another drink when he saw it. A bottle - with the cork still in it! Maybe some booze too. He picked it up and shook it but didn't hear any sloshing sound but decided to take out the stopper just in case there might be a few drops left. He yanked out the cork and was about to put the bottle to his lips when a thoroughly miffed genie popped into being right in front of his face.

"What is it with you mortals, if you're not drowning me, you're throwing me about or breathing your drunken breath on me"

"Whaddya griping about woman, where'd the bottle go? I need a drink."

The genie looked at her 'rescuer' and sighed, "You freed me and are entitled to a wish."

"A wish? Who do you think you are? " mumbled the disgruntled old man still looking about for the bottle.

"I'm a genie. Don't you recognize the outfit. Didn't your mother ever tell you any stories? Come on get on with your wish will you!"

"If you're a genie, I'm the fucking Queen of England" said the drunk.

"So it is spoken, so shall it be" said the genie.

 

=================Later============================

"Your majesty, this is really quite improper you know"

"Quiet Sidney and get back to it or I'll call the butler. Maybe I will anyway, those lads do know how to answer the bell"

Sydney thought to himself. "Rather be riding to the hounds with the lads if I had my druthers. What I do for Queen and country!" and like the Light Brigade went once more unto the breach.

  

  

  

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