Role Rehearsal

by J. R. Anthony

Part One

 

I was shocked to say the least. Although I was confident as an actor, I had never done a role quite like it. But even as the director explained the concept of acceptance he hoped to bring through to the audience, all I could think of was 'how in the hell am I going to pull this off?'. But, regardless of my doubts, I'm sitting here, staring at my older sister's vanity in her bedroom, letting her dress me up. As with any other actor, I like to get a feel for my character before shooting starts.

"Don't worry, 'Julia', I'll make you look so real you'll forget all about your old self." she squealed happily, using a deep blue eye shadow on my lids.

"I don't want to forget myself completely, Ashley...this is only for 3 months. After that, filming will be done and I'll be looking for another role. Maybe I'll be the next James Bond." I smiled proudly, picturing it in my head.

"I doubt it." Ashley scoffed. "All right, that should do it." she said, closing the makeup bag and handing me the long brunette wig. I chose brunette so it would match my natural hair colour. At 5' 7", I figured it would be easy to pass as a woman if I could emulate the body and face of one. My sparkling green eyes were exceptionally noticeable with the fake eyelashes Ashley had glued on. "Isn't this fun? Remember when we were little I used to dress you up as a girl and you'd be my sister for the day?"

"Quit with the sentimental stuff, Ashley, I have a meeting to get to by 1:00." I reminded her.

After I had the wig in place, pinned down with bobby pins, I stepped into the red lace panties, making sure to tuck my member out of sight as I'd read on the internet. It's amazing how much of the informaion on the computer can come in handy. Pulling the panties up, I looked down at a smooth front as Ashley slipped my arms through the straps of one of her old bras.

"I know they'll probably have some fancy prosthetics on the movie set, but these will do for now." she shrugged, stuffing the bra cups with rolled up socks. Then she brought out a corset to wrap around me. "You're hips are far too straight. This should give you a nice feminine shape." she giggled.

"I really don't like this." I grumbled, wincing as she drew the laces tight. I could hardly breathe when she told me it was good enough. Digging through her dresser drawers frantically she finally found a black miniskirt for me to wear.

"It's a bit slutty, but it's probably the most conservative of the lot." she told me as I slid the skirt up over my freshly shaven legs. Turning to look in the vanity mirror, I could see that the corset had not only given me hips, but a tight, round ass that was emphasized by the tiny skirt. Finally she helped me pull a tight, light pink t-shirt over my 'breasts'. The saying across my chest was very comical. It read, in pink and red print: "I'm up here", with an arrow pointing upwards.

"I really appreciate you helping me, Sis." I thanked her, taking her manicured hand in my own.

"No problem little Bro...just make sure you give all that stuff back to me when this is over." she told me sternly.

"Of course, of course," I said, backing out the door while putting the strap of my new purse over my shoulder, "see ya."

"Bye." she mumbled, closing the door behind me.

Walking out into the hallway and down the stairs, I noticed that I had a wiggle to my walk. Without my junk to get in the way, my legs and feet were free to land one in front of the other. Everything was fine, until I reached the front door of Ashley's small house. I wasn't Joseph Pollock, the confident actor anymore; I was Julia Pollock, the nervous cross dresser. Shakily reaching for the doorknob, I pushed the door open and stepped out, closing my eyes. I was waiting for someone, anyone walking down the street to call out an insult and laugh...but it never came. I opened my eyes to see a couple of townspeople walking about the street, without any care at all.

"You're fine, you can do this!" I told myself under my breath, standing straight up and walking down the front steps to the driveway. As I was about to step into my car, I heard someone whistle at me from behind. I shot him an angry look as I watched him ride down the street on his bicycle.

* * *

Arriving at Mind's Eye Entertainment headquarters, I made my way across the parking lot quickly and tried my best to keep quiet on the elevator. I knew that even if I looked like a woman, I definitely didn't sound like one. After a few close calls by some guys who asked me how I was doing, I strutted out of the elevator on the 32nd floor. As I entered Mr. Schumacher's office, everyone turned to look, then turned to stare at me as I took my seat at the end of the long table.

"J-J-Joe?" Mr. Schumacher asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah...why what's wrong?" I asked, completely oblivious to my appearance. Then I clued in. "Oh! I'm, uh...getting to know my character better." I told him, chuckling lightly.

"I see..." he replied quietly. I took my seat between Matt and Audrey, at the very end of the script-reading table.

"How did you do that?" Audrey asked in shock.

"My sister helped me do it...it's a bit uncomfortable, but if I'm going to play the part, I need to be as believable as possible." I answered matter-of-factly.

"You look...I m-mean, uh...y-you look...um..." Matt stammered.

"I know, I know....'I look like a man in a dress', right?" I asked skeptically. He shook his head 'no', his dark brown eyes wide and his ear length brown hair flopping about his head. He looked lost for words.

I would've been fine with reading my character as well as physically being my character if it weren't for Matt looking at me throughout the reading. I knew he thought I couldn't see him watching, but I could faintly see his considering glance from the corner of my eye. When the reading was over, Mr. Schumacher motioned for me to stay for a while after.

"Before you say anything, I want you to know that I love it when my actors take the initiative you've shown today." he explained. "But not very many actors take it as far as you've gone today. You are indeed an interesting talent."

"Thank you, Mr. Schumacher." I croaked, my voice sore from reading in my feminine voice.

"I look forward to working with you on this film, and any future projects." he assured me before patting me on the shoulder.

The drive home was tiring. Pulling into the drive of 1035 Reginald Ave., I walked to the screen/wooden door and let myself in. Like always, my Husky dog Roscoe came tearing around the corner of the living room to greet me, but stopped short and started barking.

"Shhh...quiet down! You idiot dog, it's me!" I tried to hush him up, holding my hand out so he could get my scent. After a confused growl, he turned and went to lay down on the couch. Carefully going up the stairs to my bedroom, I listened to the click clack of my heels on the hard wood steps. The sound alone reminded me vividly of games of dress-up I'd played with Ashley as a young boy, and even a teenager. Even as I stripped out of the clothes Ashley had lent to me, the memories of being 'Ashley's little sister, Julia' haunted me. Grimacing as I washed off the makeup, I could feel tears well up in my eyes. I was happy that the movie had given me the outlet to be free with my underlying urges, but I was sad knowing that it would end in 3 months time.

I took a long shower, just to mull over my thoughts a bit, and to keep my legs smooth. I knew this would become routine over the course of shooting the film. Drying my hair and brushing it out, I wrapped my bathrobe around my fresh, damp skin and walked out to the living room. Just as I sat down, the phone rang. It was Matt.

"Hey, Joe, I was just wondering if...maybe you'd like to...go for a cup of coffee or something?" he asked, nervously.

"Umm...okay, but why?" I questioned, my face scrunching with confusion.

"Just to...you know...talk." he answered casually.

"Okay..." I hesitated a bit as I gave me answer.

"And...you know, if it's...not too much trouble, could you...dress as a girl again?" he asked hopefully. Now I knew where he was going. I should've known from the way he was looking me up at the script-read. He had fallen in love with 'Julia', and he seemed to have forgotten that Joe existed underneath the makeup.

"Uh...sure, okay." I replied slowly, hanging up. Although I didn't like the way he was acting, the part of me that had woken up when Mr. Schumacher assigned me the role of Alexander/Alexandra wouldn't pass up the chance to be Julia again.

It didn't take me long to get dressed, but trying to remember my sister's tutorial on makeup took forever. Finally understanding how to use the various powders creams and brushes, I managed to turn my handsome male face into that of a pretty girl. Not gorgeous by any standard, but a pretty girl nonetheless. Slipping a pair of Ashley's flip-flops over my feet, I ran a brush through the wig and pinned it into place, taking my purse with me before heading out to the local coffee house. He stood when I came to sit at his table and surveyed me as if I were the biggest diamond in the world.

"You look amazing...no doubt about it." he told me, astounded.

"It's actually not that hard...all I say is 'Sis, I need you to make me a woman.', and the result is in front of you." I explained.

"You have a sister?" he asked. "I never knew that."

"Yeah, remember, I told Audrey that my sister helped me do this?" I pressed.

"Oh...yeah...right..." he stumbled, embarrassed that he could forget anything I'd said. "So...uh...how long will this girl be around?" he asked.

"Why? Are you interested in me, Matt?" I questioned, cornering him.

"Uh...no....no, of course not! You're a guy...I'm a guy...why would I be interested in-"

"Stop it, Matt!" I cut him off, "I saw you eyeing me during the script-read, so don't pretend you're not interested! If you're interested say so, if not, leave!"

"I-I....I'm...all right, I'm interested, is that so wrong?" he whined, mad at himself for revealing his feelings and his homophobia at the same time. "Why do you always gotta make such a big deal of these things...uh..." he stopped, not wanting to call me by my male name in public.

"Julia." I finished for him.

"Julia...it's just...I'm scared that I'm attracted to you."

"Thanks a lot, Matt! That makes me feel so much better." I exclaimed sternly.

"It's not that, it's just...I'm kinda creeped out that the girl I like isn't a girl at all! But you're so...so sexy! I'm...I'm confused, Julie." he cried, looking up at me with watery brown eyes, nervously rubbing his hands along the pant legs of his navy blue cargo pants.

"Well don't be. Love isn't about whether or not you're a man or a woman, it's about feelings you have for another person, regardless." I told him, and it seemed heartfelt, but I've never spoke like that unless it was in a script or a book somewhere. "Anyways, I should go, I have to get used to living as a girl now...starting bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Bye, Julie." he said half-heartedly as I stood and walked out to my car.

* * *

The next day we started to stage the script a bit, with Mr. Schumacher observing us for chemistry and any thoughts of changing the script. I was again dressed as Julia, which was less of a surprise for my co-stars this time around. Then it happened: it was time for my half-romance scene with Matt's character. After what had happened the night before I wasn't entirely sure of what would happen.

"Look, Brad, there's something different about me." I recited, glancing down to my script.

"I know, Alex. You're not like other girls I've known. You're so much...so much more fun, you know? It's like you know exactly what I want. It's weird." he voiced, stepping a bit closer to me. As a professional actor I knew not to back down, but after our conversation from the previous night I was thinking of turning and running away.

"You're so sweet..." I cooed, trying to hide my discomfort.

"And cut!" Mr. Schumacher said loudly. "All right guys, that was really good, but Joe, next time try not to back off too soon when he says 'It's like you know exactly what I want.' It's more of a slow consideration."

"Okay...what about the sweet voice?" I asked, hoping to change the topic. I'd been up long into the night trying to find the right amount of femininity and sugar.

"It's a tad over the top, try to numb it down a little, but not too much." he replied. With that I gathered my things, stuffed them into my purse, and headed outside. Luckily the elevator was empty all the way down to the ground floor, and I made it to my car without anyone talking to me. Not that I wasn't confident in 'Julia', but I hadn't yet mastered my female voice.

Getting into my car, I drove not to my own home, but to my sister's place. She had told me she had a surprise for me. Pulling into the long gravel driveway, making my way up and across the porch, the door opened and Ashley dragged me inside.

"Oh, my God! you are never gonna believe this, but I know you're gonna love it." she smiled, towing me up the stairs and flinging me into her bedroom. Lying on the bed was a large box.

"What's this?" I aske,d turning to her and raising one tweezed eyebrow.

"Open it up and see, little Sister." she laughed, bobbing on the balls of her feet with excitement. Picking up the box and lifting the lid, I gasped at what I saw. Pulling one out I looked at a pair of silicon breastforms.

"How did you...where did you...?" I stuttered.

"There's a mastectomy shop in town and I decided to get you a good luck present." she winked, holding up a tube of medical adhesive. "Want to attach them? Now you'll be able to wear really low-cut tops without worrying."

I unbuttoned my blouse and unclasped my bra, letting the socks fall to the floor. As she glued the false breasts to my chest I was amazed at how realistic they were. With a little makeup nobody would be able to tell whether they were real or not. They were heavy at first, but after a while I got used to having the extra weight on my chest.

"Thanks, Ashley. I really appreciate this. You're making me into the woman I've always dreamed of being." I told her.

"You're beautiful, Julia. You're the sister I always dreamed of having." she half-whispered, hugging me tightly. It was awkward to have her breasts and mine press together, and actually feel it to some extent.

"I love you, Sis. Thanks for all your help." I showed my gratitude while smiling sincerely at my sister for the first time in forever. I hugged her again before walking out the front door and stepping into my old Taurus. Honking the horn twice, I backed out of the drive and headed across the neighborhood to my own house, where I would relax and rest for the next day.

I had just stepped inside the door of my house when the phone rang. Carefully setting my purse down, as well as the clothes I'd bought at "Tara's" on my way home and walking as fast as I could in my high heels, I reached for the reciever and brought it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, 'Julia'...look I've been, ah...I've been thinking about what you said last night, and I think I really am in love with you." Matt confessed.

"It took you long enough to get over it." I shot at him coldly.

"Yeah...yeah, well, um, I was just wondering...are you free on Friday night?"

"Yes, why?" I asked, knowing what was coming. I'd heard Matt tell me the same stories of how he always asks a girl to go to dinner and a movie on Friday night.

"Would you like to join my for dinner and a movie?" he asked.

"How did I know you would say that?" I rolled my eyes and laughed. "That sounds fun, Matt. Pick me up at 7?"

"On the button." he answered quickly.

"Okay, see you then. Bye." My heart was racing as I set the reciever down on the charging dock. My best friend just asked me out on a date. Matt had been my best friend since high school. We went on double dates, we watched hockey games, we partied together, and now I was dating him as 'Julia'. Part of me wanted to call him back and tell him I'd changed my mind, but the overhwelming feminine reasoning of my brain told me everything would be fine.

* * *

Again I had to call in reinforcements to help me with my date. first order of business, the outfit. I wasn't too keen with going with the 'little black dress', it was too cliche. I needed something unique, but comfortable, and definitely something sexy.

"How about this?" Ashley asked me, holding up a red halter top and a darker red skirt.

"I like the combination, just not the colour." I answered, shrugging.

"Okay, how about blue and navy for the colour." she said, digging deeper into the rack of clothes.

"That sounds a little better." I replied, then when she held them up I said, "Yes! definitely. It's perfect, Ashley."

"Great! And at a good price too! Only $35.70 for the whole outfit." she exclaimed excitedly. Ever since I'd told her about my date with Matt she'd been badgering me with tips on how to play hard to get, and things that should never be done on the first date.

"It's not like I'm going to end up marrying the guy, Ashley, I'm just going out to dinner and a movie. Nothing spectacular." I told her.

"Sure, it starts out with a casual dinner, then it turns into an intimate night at your house, then an intimate evening in your bedroom, and then-"

"Eww! Ashley, please stop! Don't even think of going there! Besides, it's not like that could actually happen." I cut in.

That night, when I saw Matt's Mustang Corvette pull into the driveway, my heart skipped a beat. What if Ashley was right, and we actually did get to the point where we considered marriage? Again the male side of my brain protested, but the female side shut it up quickly as the doorbell chimed. Slinking to the front door, I clicked the handle and swung it open. Matt stood there, wearing a suit without a tie, and holding a dozen roses.

"Good evening, handsome." I cooed, taking his hand and letting him lead me to his car. He gave me the roses as I sat down in the passenger seat.

"So, where do you want to go first? Dinner or movie?" he asked, pulling out of the drive and turning towards the black pillars in the distance that were L.A.

"Well, I'm not really hungry right now, so the movie sounds good." I replied.

"All right. you pick the movie and when it's over we'll go for a bite to eat." he planned before kicking the enging into drive and speeding off towards the Cinema 6 Theater.

I chose to see "You, Me and Dupree", so I could get a sentimental movie and he could get a comedy. That way we'd both be satisfied. Later on that evening, in the restaurant, Matt started to forget I'd ever been Joe. I was uncomfortable, but in a good way. He was the perfect gentleman throughout the evening, and when he dropped me off at my house, he followed me inside.

"So...did you have a good time tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah...I really enjoyed it. Thanks, Matt." I replied, getting closer to him and hugging him. If I had been thinking like my actual self I would've broke off and shook myself, but I was Julia. Julia knew it felt right, and that was a good thing.

"Well, good night." he half-whispered, swooping in for a kiss. I met him on his lips and we held it there for a long time. He slowly pulled back, blushing and left. Watching his car drive away, love was teasing me relentlessly. I know I had promised to only become Julia for 3 months to know my character better, but now I thought of how Matt would feel if Julia left him when the movie was done shooting. I had a tough decision to make...but I wasn't entirely sure of who's heart I should listen to: Joseph's or Julia's.

  

  

  

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