This is a fantasy only; the company does not exist and therefore is not recruiting. However readers are still welcome to send applications.

 

Recruiting Letter

by Sabrina Sweete

 

Dear Reader;

You have been sent this letter, because we have reason to believe you may be qualified for and interested in a position in our firm as an Executive Secretary. Some details regarding the position follow.

 

Policies

 1. Executive secretaries are considered to be on duty 24/7/365

2. Dress code applies whenever secretary is on duty

3. Each secretary reports directly to one executive

4. Secretary must address that executive as Master or Mistress as appropriate.

5. Secretary will address other executives as Sir or Madam as appropriate

6. Secretary's Master or Mistress will determine the name that the secretary will be called.

7. When in the presence of Master or Mistress, secretary will kneel at his or her feet.

8. When walking in Master or Mistress' company, secretary will walk 2 steps behind and to the right.

9. Secretary will perform all tasks assigned without complaint or hesitation.

10. Any failure to follow policies and/or dress code will result in any disciplinary action deemed appropriate by the executive.

11. When an executive is forced to take time from his or her busy schedule to discipline a secretary, secretary will show proper gratitude immediately.

12. No executive secretary will hold the position for more than five years, after which time, secretary will be reassigned within the company or released at her choice. If release is chosen, letters of recommendations will be given.

 

 

Dress Code.

 1. Skirts and dresses must end no lower than 3" above the knee.

2. Shoes must have no less than 4" heels.

3. These shoes may be pumps or sandals, but must strap on to prevent the temptation to kick the shoes off when at your desk, as this is prohibited.

4. Nail polish and lipstick must be stylish and must match (black and other goth colors are not acceptable).

5. No clothes may be larger than a size 6.

6. Hair must be at least shoulder length and styled fashionably.

7. Garter belt and stockings must be worn at least twice a week.

8. No outfit may be worn more than twice in any month.

9. Jewelry will be tasteful and classy; wedding rings are not permitted. Earrings and ankle bracelets are required at all times.

10. Chastity devices will be worn at all times unless removed by an executive. The executive decides who will be given keys to the chastity device.

11. Friday (casual day) outfits may vary from standard, but must be approved by H.R. Manager and the secretary's manager before being worn.

12. Any executive may check at any time to ensure that the secretary is in compliance with all aspects of the dress code.

 

As an outsider reading the above you probably think this is a company just waiting for a sexual discrimination suit. However, the company has never been sued and should not be sued anytime soon. As Director of Human Resources, I have been careful to make sure that the executive secretaries to whom the above policies apply have the same gender ratios as the rest of the company and the rest of the community of the home office. We currently have 5 male and 6 female Executive Secretaries. Since we have 12 positions we are currently looking for 1 male who meets the requirements and can perform the duties listed above.

As you can see from policy 12 this position can be a great boost to a young person's career. In fact two of our directors were once executive secretaries here and many others have good positions with other firms. For someone like yourself, 5 years experience as an executive secretary could well be the beginning of the life you have dreamed of for so long. I will not deny that the work is hard, and the executives are extremely demanding, but the rewards are worth it. (The salary is also generous, but I doubt that salary is your main concern.) If you are interested in the position and I am sure you are, please send a current photo with application.

 

Sincerely,

Richard Johnson

Human Resources Director

 

RJ

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© 2002 by Sabrina Sweete. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.