The Rebirth            by: Alyssa Davis

 

I knew I should have checked the long range weather before I left the airport. I had been airborne for several hours and the weather was rapidly getting foul. November weather can be very tricky and can change quickly...warm one hour and cold the next. It was snowing heavily now, I was hitting strong, gusty headwinds, and I wasn’t exactly sure I knew where I was. I estimated I had about an hour’s worth of fuel left in my single engine Cessna 172. Unable to make radio contact with anybody, I really felt alone in this unfamiliar white world. For the first time, tho I had a lot of flying experience, I felt a strange sense of fear...perhaps panic, mixed with anger; a feeling of confusion. Was this the end? My mind was racing…so many things left to do…so many things I’ve accomplished. Regaining my composure, my thoughts were to try to find a place to land...anyplace. Survival, yes....But all I could see were trees and white snow....fresh snow. I was in trouble. Real trouble. I didn’t have any cold weather survival gear...not even winter clothes. Oh why didn’t I check the weather reports...why didn’t I prepare for this? Damn! Too late now.

The engine was running fine, but I thought my wings were starting to ice up....I could feel the sluggish response to the controls and I was losing lift. My altimeter was slowly dropping. White...blinding white...everywhere. Before I realized, and too late to respond, my landing gear was grazing the treetops. I quickly killed the engine, pulled back hard on the yoke...trying to get the nose up...and opened the door as I had been taught to do in an emergency landing. Too late, the wheels caught the trees, the plane nosed down, tumbled, and started to break up in the trees. I fell out of the open door, still belted in my seat, falling through the wet branches to the snow covered ground. I don’t know how far it was, but I blacked out as the plane burst into flames from the ruptured fuel tanks spilling their contents onto the hot engine’s exhaust manifold.

I woke up in a bed, in a warm room...a cabin...a log cabin. I was nude and wrapped with a heavy wool blanket. A massive field-stone fireplace built into the wall of a rustic yet well furnished room was throwing comfortable heat throughout. Gas mantle lamps were glowing a white incandescent light from several ceiling fixtures, giving a soft, even illumination in contrast to the flames in fireplace. It was like a dream cabin in the woods as I had seen in sales brochures for log cabins. I could hear the wind howling outside this cozy environment. As my eyes focused, I saw a large, burly looking man, attired in a red and black checkered shirt and bib overalls, standing at a white enameled sink across the room in what appeared to be the kitchen area.

"Where am I?" I muttered, still feeling groggy.

"So, you’re awake...you took quite a fall...been out for a long time," he replied, turning towards me.

"How long?"

"Oh, ‘bout a day and a half. What happened, anyway? Why were you out in this weather?"

"I was flying from Idaho, heading for Billings...ran into bad weather. Wings iced up...went down. That’s all I remember."

"Lucky for you I saw the fire. I went out to investigate when I heard a plane buzz over, flying low. I wondered what nut would be flying in this stuff. Luckily I found you in the snow. You seem to be OK, but your plane is ashes. Your clothes were all torn and you were cold and soaking wet, so I undressed you and wrapped you in that blanket. Couldn’t very well leave you like that. "

"I guess I owe you...you saved my life. Thank you," I said, my head throbbing from a lump.

I was feeling better, but very hungry and thirsty. I slowly sat up in the bunk. Before I could ask, my host approached with a bowl of hot stew and a mug of coffee. He helped me sit up, propping a pillow behind

me. He was a big man, a giant, but very gentle. I took the coffee and nearly drained the cup, stopping for a breath.

"My name is Jack Clark....where are we?" I asked.

"Hi Jack...I’m Ben Davis. This is my ranch, and we’re in Montana...a couple hundred miles west of Billings. "

He seemed friendly and grateful for someone to talk to. I was grateful just to be alive.

"We’re socked in here for a while cuz of a blizzard. I still cant believe anybody would fly in this stuff. The last thing I expected to hear above this wind was the sound of an airplane!"

"Yeah well, nobody in their right mind ‘would fly in this stuff’, but I didn’t check the weather before I took off, like a damn fool, and got caught. It nearly killed me. So, how long do you think we’ll be stranded?"

"Oh, could be over a month, . Everything’s blocked with drifts. I’ve been snowed in all winter before. Depends on the weather"

"Hope you don’t mind having a guest for a while, Ben. Anything I can do to earn my keep?"

"Aw, it’s nice to have some company, for a change. We’ll find things to do."

"Do you have a telephone or anything?"

By now I had finished the hot, spicy, stew and was feeling stronger and thinking more clearly. Ben took the bowl and placed it in the sink.

"Well, I do, but the lines are down...so are the power lines. It’ll be a while before they’re fixed too."

"So, it looks like I’m missing and given up for lost. Oh well, might as well make the best of it. Say Ben, I hate to make a pest of myself, but do you have anything I can wear by any chance? I mean, I cant stay in a blanket for a month."

Ben started to chuckle.

"I’d share my things with you Jack, but I’m at least twice your size. But let’s see what we can do."

Ben opened a chest of drawers and pulled out some of his long underwear. Two of me would fit into it. Same for his pants. His shirt would fit me like a nightshirt on my 5’5", 135 lb. frame. Ben was about 6’5" and at least 270 lb. A foot taller and twice my weight!

"Yep, I thought so...you’re just a little guy. You don’t even have any body hair to keep you warm. Well, there is another possibility, but you might not like it, Jack."

"At this point, I’m open to any idea...what’ve you got in mind, Ben?"

"Ah....well you see, I was married once, but the little lady died in an accident. I still have her things put away. Didn’t have the heart to get rid of them...she was about your size...." His voice trailed off as he thoughts reminisced.

"I’m sorry to hear that...were you married long?"

"Only about 5 years. Mary fell off of a horse, bumped her head hard...happened so quickly." His voiced trailing away, again.

I didn’t want to continue the conversation. It was like opening an old wound. The thought of losing his wife...then it hit me that he started to tell me about her clothing that he had saved.

"Wait a minute, are you suggesting I wear Mary’s clothes?"

"Well, you got a better idea? You’re her size. You wanna try them, or freeze? It’s your choice. Nobody’s gonna see you ‘cept me, and it’s gonna be hard enuf on my seein’ you in her things, but it’s sort’a survival. You gotta have something to wear and they’d be put to good use."

He was right...I had no choice. So I shrugged my acceptance of what now seemed a gracious offer. He emerged from a storeroom in the back, dragging a large trunk.

Opening the lid, I saw a wide assortment of woman’s clothing. He carefully removed several items and gently laid them out on the bed.

"I kept all this stuff, don’t know why...just couldn’t get rid of them....." he muttered, his voice dropping.

Now, I felt ashamed to wear any of them, not because they were woman’s things, but because they had been Ben’s wife’s and the circumstances of why he had them.

"Go ahead, try something...maybe you can use them. Don’t be shy."

I selected a pair of denim jeans. The length was perfect, a little large in the hips, but I couldn’t button the waist...too tight. Made for a female figure. I tried a sweater. Perfect fit. As I sorted through the items, I selected garments with elastic waistbands or stretch fabric, which turned out to be mainly skirts and dresses. These were indeed the clothes of a young woman about my size, as Ben had said. They were pretty things...she had nice taste. Trying a long cotton skirt with a scalloped hem, it was a fit. So now, at least I had something to wear. Ben had busied himself washing my dish and spoon and adjusting the fireplace. He didn’t want to watch me. Reluctantly, I found some underwear...briefs and slips and tried them. I needed clothes for warmth...anything.. To my surprise, even her shoes were a tolerable fit. Now I had a new wardrobe. Maybe not the warmest way to dress, nor the most appropriate, but cover at least. Taking only what I needed to get by, I carefully folded up the remainder and placed them back into the trunk.

"Okay Ben...I’ve got enough to get by, thanks."

"Alright Jack...I’ll keep this trunk handy for you in case you need more. Lets find a place to set you up for a while."

He re-arranged his dresser so I had a drawer for my newly acquired stuff. Then he gave me a tour of his home, showing me the well equipped bathroom, storeroom, kitchen and bedroom. It was a large log cabin with rooms partitioned off but open to the vaulted ceiling. Fairly modern, he had hot and cold running water and a bathroom with a tub and shower. A kitchen with the basic appliances...sink, gas range, refrigerator. All the necessities.

He had rigged up an extra bed for me complete with bedding and blankets. I asked him how he continued to have running water without electricity.

"I have a wind generator for back-up power. Keeps my water pump going."

"What about lights and radio?"

"I use propane for the lights, cooking, hot water, and heat if I’m not using the fireplace. Radio? I seldom use it, and we get no TV out here."

Well, I thought, this was certainly a cozy and isolated arrangement. Ben was a fastidious housekeeper...everything was neat and clean and orderly. I began to look for things to do to make myself useful. I started to help Ben make dinner. This must have been a pretty picture...big burly Ben working together with petite little Jack in a skirt and sweater, looking like his wife, except for my short hair. It certainly was a new experience for me, wearing woman’s clothing. Certainly felt strange. Little did I know that this was the beginning of a series of events that would change my life.

We spent the time during dinner getting better acquainted. If we were going to live together for the next few months, there was a lot to discuss. Starting out with the usual man talk, about the weather, ranching, my flying experience, etc., it became difficult for me to overlook the fact that I was sitting there dressed as a woman, and becoming preoccupied with that image, I soon found myself doing a lot of passive listening while Ben talked.

I assumed the chores of cleaning up after the meal, both because I felt an obligation to "earn" my keep, and being the "lady" of the house, at least in appearance, I accepted it as my duty. Ben, meanwhile, went out to check on his horses in the adjacent barn, the ones he had used to rescue me, and to get more firewood.

The next day, the storm had subsided and we were able to go outside. I wore Mary’s parka and boots. It felt strange walking in deep snow in a skirt with a cold breeze blowing under it, but I found some heavy tights and a petticoat to keep my legs warm. Ben had a large barn, or complex of barns where he kept many head of cattle in bad weather. I don’t know how many, but it was a huge and fairly modern facility...I had actually expected to see something more "turn of the century"...and it provided good shelter for his herd. He showed me his setup for feeding and watering the animals. His business was to fatten them up and sell them for beef. Of course, in the summer, they would graze outside. Offering to help, Ben showed me how to mix their feed with dry chemicals, vitamins I assumed, to accelerate their growth. He added the pre-measured powder to a vat of grain and stirred the dry mixture with a paddle as one might mix cement. It looked easy...I could handle that...and that’s what I did. Not having Ben’s strength, after a short time, I was barely able to move the paddle, so I continued to mix the batch with my bare hands, up to my armpits. It was effective and much easier for me. When it looked uniformly mixed, Ben wheeled the whole vat away and began to feed the animals. I returned to the cabin to warm up and rest.

The days passed, Ben and I got along very well, doing chores in the barn which became my routine, playing board games, and generally trying to pass time. I developed a lot of respect for him being able to maintain this type of life style for so long. I expected I’d get hardened to it, but instead, it seemed I was getting weaker with time. Heavy work sure tired me out. I was never one for manual labor and this wasn’t really a lot of hard work though it was exercise, but I seemed to not be gaining strength in my arms and upper body. Ben fabricated some things out of wood pieces, branches, and reeds, while I did some mending, tried some handicraft, and practiced cooking and baking. I hadn’t done that before, but it somehow filled my time and felt useful. Not being very strong nor experienced in ranch life, there wasn’t much else for me to do. Ben did all the heavy work. I just naturally fell into a typical woman’s role of doing lighter tasks and actually enjoying it. I found patience that I never before had. He commented several times that seeing me sitting there in Mary’s dresses doing needlework, reminded him of her. I offered that if it was a painful memory, I’d stop, but he insisted that, in fact, it was a pleasant memory and to please continue. I had gotten so accustomed to wearing her things that I forgot how I looked, especially since my hair had gotten noticeably longer in a short time. But I had also gotten accustomed to the role of a country woman. Ben had been treating me like the woman I appeared to be as I scurried around in dresses and frilly things and I came to enjoy that treatment. I noticed him in a different light. He was kind, considerate, very gentle, and not bad looking. I don’t think he would have treated a "regular" man like that but he apparently didn’t consider me a man anymore. Sometimes, being in a playful mood, we would act out being husband and wife, a role I was beginning to accept. Maybe we’d get too carried away with our acting when I’d pretend to swoon into his arms after he’d compliment me on a dinner or dessert or he’d playfully kiss and caress me when I did something nice for him. And I found myself submitting to him. I felt secure in his arms. Does that sound strange from a guy?

Besides helping Ben in the barn, I had now willingly assumed all the inside domestic duties...cooking, cleaning, even doing laundry. The electricity had been restored and eventually the telephone came back to life. Of course, Ben had to teach me ranch style cooking, but I learned fast.

Sometime after the storm, we went out to the crash site on horseback. The terrain was rugged and heavily wooded. I never would have found a clearing to land. Except for a hole burned in the trees where my plane had been, everything was covered with a heavy blanket of snow. Not a trace of my plane. Anybody searching for it would have seen nothing.

"Do you want to call anybody to tell them where you are?" Ben asked after the phone service had been restored..

"Not really...I have no family and no one else except my boss, and by now, he likely thinks I’m dead. Unless, of course, you want to get rid of me." I was hoping he’d want me to stay. I had come to enjoy this lifestyle, and Ben was a great guy to share it with.

"No Jack...I’m hoping you’ll stay. It gets awfully lonely out here. You being here makes the time fly. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like."

So, the phone remained unused. After about two months had passed, one night while taking a shower, I noticed the skin on my body had become very soft and smooth and my hair was rapidly growing long and unusually thick. In spite of all the exercise of mixing the cattle feed, my arm muscles were getting more slender. I wonder if something in the water was affecting me. What was in the water? It sure wasn’t like city water I was used to drinking. My thoughts were to check it out for a possible commercial venture, maybe open a health spa or something. Women would pay money for water like this if it would make them look so good.

By the end of January, on a bright sunny day, I decided this was the life for me. Emotionally, I had developed a general overall feeling of well being...calmness...things just didn’t bother me like they had in the past, and I felt I had lost some weight because my waist was slimmer, although my hips seemed fuller. I tried on some of Mary’s jeans and now I could button the waist so, with an extended wardrobe of work clothes, I tried to be more helpful to Ben in the barn. Difficult to get around that area in a skirt. I had gotten very accomplished at mixing the cattle feed, blending it like a baker working dough, right down to my shoulders, using bare arms..

One evening, showering before making dinner, while washing my hair, which was now below shoulder length and looking so good I didn’t want to cut it (nor did Ben want me to), I noticed that my nipples had become very sensitive and noticeably enlarged, and my breasts were getting fuller. I thought it was my imagination so I said nothing to Ben. Seeing myself in the bathroom mirror, I noticed a definite change in my figure. I had developed a woman’s shape! My waist was slender, yet my hips and butt were enlarged as were my breasts. My arms had gotten thinner and my skin was softer and smoother. I was only shaving about once a week now. With my long hair, I looked liked a female except for a small appendage in the front, and it had become very small. No wonder Ben said I looked so natural in woman’s clothes. I thought it was just the long winter getting to him.

My nipples were so tender and uncomfortable from rubbing on fabric, that I located a bra in the trunk and put it on as a cover to relieve the irritation. What a difference that made. That was the beginning of my wearing a bra. From then on, it was a necessity as my breasts continue to develop.

During the days, I routinely wore jeans outdoors, but in the evenings, when working in the house, I changed into a skirt and blouse or a pretty dress. It was just something I felt I wanted to do for Ben (and for myself). Never in my life would I have ever dreamed of doing that before, but now I wanted to...something had sure changed in me. With my long hair and now, my new "pointy" chest, I definitely looked very female and felt female! Ben immediately noticed that I was wearing a bra and he casually asked why I had decided to do that. I told him about the changes I had seen in my body over time, and my theory about the water.

"I don’t think it’s the water, Jack. I noticed you mix the cattle feed with your hands."

"Yeah, my hands and arms...it’s too hard with the paddle like you do it...You’re so much stronger than I am....why...is something wrong?"

"Well, maybe you didn’t notice but the chemicals you add to the feed are vitamins and hormones, estrogen, I think they said, to fatten the steers up quicker."

"So? Do you think it’s getting into our water supply?"

"No...I haven’t shown any changes in my body...but I think it’s being absorbed into your body through your skin. I remember reading something about that. I never use my hands...that’s why I use a paddle. I never like to touch any of those chemicals. I think you’re changing into a woman from the hormones, my friend. At least you’re properly dressed for it," Ben chuckled.

"Oh my God! What should I do?"

I suddenly had the same panic feeling as when I was in the plane and going down. But it was short lived. Ben, turning serious, looked at me and replied,

"What can you do, Jack. You’ve already started to change... you’re starting a new life anyway...Jack was killed in a plane crash. Are you so unhappy with your life here?"

"Why no...actually I love it here, Ben."

"Then why not accept it, become "Jackie," and stay here with me. I’ll take care of you. I love having you here. ‘Sides, you’re more fun as a woman, anyway."

"So, I should keep on mixing with my hands, right?" I said, now feeling coquettish. I had no intention of stopping now, anyway. I sort of liked the changes.

"You bet, Jackie!" Ben said, winking.

So that night, Jackie was born. I continued to mix the feed, getting a daily massive exposure to hormones, my breast development advanced until I filled the bras fully. My figure continued to take on a feminine contour of which I was proud, and emotionally, I felt like a woman and accepted it. I was willingly wearing all of the clothes in Mary’s wardrobe, filling them out as well as she would have. Sleeping in frilly nightgowns, I wore dresses daily. I even found some makeup and unashamedly started to apply a little lipstick and experiment with other cosmetics. Having acquired the figure of a woman, I felt the need to improve upon it...to look pretty. I even spent time grooming my hair and practiced setting it. And the results were amazing.

Ben’s attitude obviously changed towards me, also. As friendly as he had been from the beginning, he now was becoming even more attentive and gentlemanly...chivalrous. He was treating me as if I was a real lady and he was courting me. I had made my decision and I felt it was the right one. I would try to be a woman in every aspect. We became very close, almost romantic. I felt comfortable in physical contact with him as when I cut his hair, trimmed his beard, did little things for him, and especially dancing with him when we could find some music on the radio. I never had had homosexual desires before, but now, feeling like a female, I found him sexually attractive. I enjoyed being held by him...he was such a big guy. He somehow made me feel "safe."

By the end of March, the snow was gone, the roads were open, and we could leave the ranch. Once we had the cattle outdoors, I stopped mixing their feed. They would now spend the summer grazing. When Ben was able to get his truck started after wintering in a shed, he took me into the nearest town on a shopping trip for food and provisions. I didn’t feel shy about being seen as a woman since I knew I looked passable and I was so eager to see other humans, I was excited to go. Not knowing what to expect, I wore what I thought was an appropriate dress, with stockings and medium heeled shoes, my hair done as best as I could. Ben was certainly pleased with my appearance.

It was a fairly good size town with a variety of stores and the ubiquitous Walmart store. Ben told me to buy whatever I needed for the house and for myself. We had compiled a list of household items, but there was nothing I needed in clothing. His wife’s wardrobe was holding very well, except for underwear. I did buy more lingerie...I felt better having my own, and I needed larger bras...cup size, that is. He suggested I buy fresh cosmetics so I’d have my own there too. So I stocked up on lipstick, foundation creams, and eye shadow, and of course, hair conditioners. I even stopped to have my hair done professionally where I picked up a lot of pointers on grooming long hair, something Jack never had to do.

Ben took me to the medical clinic for a checkup because of the prolonged exposure to hormones. After explaining my situation to the physician, how I felt and my intentions, he put me on a maintenance dose of Premarin so I wouldn’t change back to being a man. He said I had been getting a hefty dose of animal strength estrogen, even absorbed through my skin, I was lucky I didn’t suffer any organ damage to my body. Other than the changes I had experienced, I was OK. I admitted that I had become happy about the changes.

Ben met a few friends and neighbors and introduced me as his "mail order bride". I asked him to explain that. He said a lot of single men in small isolated towns advertise for woman in big city newspapers looking for brides. Many woman respond by coming to visit, to get acquainted. Some don’t like the isolation and leave immediately.

But, some do stay to get married. That would account for my presence. He said he tells everybody I just "dropped in" to check him out. Well, I couldn’t deny that. Nobody questioned him further, and I was warmly welcomed as a girl from the city, especially by his neighbor’s wives who were grateful for more female companionship.

We loaded our purchases into the truck and returned to the ranch. I was now more convinced than ever that I would stay here. I was very happy with my new lifestyle, as a woman, and a rancher’s wife. The day was warm and sunny, the people had been friendly...life was good.

While Ben unloaded the truck, I prepared dinner, after which, I cleaned up the dishes and relaxed for the evening. I thanked Ben for a lovely day, giving him a friendly little kiss on his forehead. He pulled me down gently, and kissed me on my lips.

"You’re welcome, pretty lady." he said, quietly.

"Ben, that’s the first time you’ve called me that."

"Jackie, my friends have met you and like you. They told me you are a pretty young lady and I’m lucky to have found you. I think they’re right."

"But you know the truth about me...I’m not a real lady."

This was a turning point in our relationship. Which path were we going...I had to know.

"You’re MY pretty lady, Jackie."

He didn’t have to say anymore. I kissed him warmly and passionately as a woman kisses her man, and he returned my kiss. I felt like a real woman and he responded to me as one. We continued kissing and petting for a long time.

Ben stood up and brought me a gift wrapped package. Without a sound, our eyes saying it all, I slowly and carefully opened it to find a white nylon nightgown with lace trim and wide shoulder straps. It was stunning.

"I thought you should have something of your own, Jackie. Why don’t you try it on?"

Without hesitation, I went to the bathroom, undressed completely and slipped it on. It fit perfectly. He knew my size from Mary’s clothes, and my developed breasts filled out the bodice completely. I re-entered the main room without modesty and twirled around to let him see me. He pulled me to him and we kissed again, our tongues dueling. That night was the beginning of my sleeping in his bed...in his arms. I was his woman, emotionally and sexually. We developed a definite male-female relationship. I completely forget I was physically a male. I felt like a bride and I couldn’t get enough of him..

In July, on the 4^th, we were invited to a picnic at our neighbor’s ranch. It was over an hour’s drive to get there so we got an early start. I had spent the previous day cooking and baking for the event. Arriving early, I joined the women to help with the food while the men went off to do their thing. Of course, I was accepted as any other woman and assumed to be Ben’s new wife, ‘tho common law. We all talked about our men and eventually the conversation got rather intimate since some of the ladies were trying to get pregnant. With all the talk of love making with their husbands, I could contribute little to the chatter, but I was beginning to get a little horny thinking about Ben. Luckily I chose not to wear tight jeans but rather, a long full skirt or I might’ve given myself away although my maleness was now very small and dormant.

After a wonderful day of eating, playing, and socializing, we took a leisurely drive home. Going directly to bed, I snuggled with my man and I touched his manhood intentionally with my hand, curling my fingers around it. It immediately grew large and hard. Saying nothing, he rolled onto his back while I removed it from his shorts and firmly grasped it and gently stroked it as only a man would know how to do. He started to moan with pleasure as his hands brushed through my long thick feminine hair. I continued the massage with my open palm on the sensitive underside of his organ as I kissed him passionately. Shortly, he climaxed as I cupped my hand to contain his fluid. I whispered that I loved him as he fell asleep. I quietly got up and cleansed my hand and his organ as a wife would do for her husband.

The next day, Ben was especially nice to me, treating me like a princess. And I treated him like the king that he was to me. I had become more intrigued about satisfying him sexually as the other wives did for their husbands. I fantasized all different options. One night we went to bed nude. It was a warm night and seemed appropriate and Ben liked to fondle and kiss my breasts, which I enjoyed. My penis was very diminutive now, and I didn’t care for him to touch it. We started love sessions by kissing, then it progressed to my rubbing his shaft until it was very rigid. They evolved to many different situations including oral sex. Our love for each other grew intense. I couldn’t get enough of him. We loved each other deeply. He made me feel so feminine. He had not only saved my life, he gave me a new and better one.

The next time I got together with the other ladies, I could join the conversation and talk about my husband as I tried to get pregnant.

I’ve never been sorry about this turn of events.

 

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