Plain Jane

by Jennifer White

  

I don't know how it happened. I don't know what strange forces are at work in the universe, or how (or why) it came to be my turn, but somehow, in a way I'll never be able to explain, I got my wish.

Since I was a boy, it had been there in my heart. I would watch my older sister preparing to go out on a date, dressing up in pretty clothes, putting on makeup, fixing her long pretty hair, and doing her nails. I wished that could be me! I wanted to do all those things. And in fact I did while she was out, but after I got caught, I got so much flack that I had to resist my temptations.

When I graduated college, got a job, then a place of my own, I was finally able to get the privacy I needed to explore further. I used the internet to make little purchases, and soon I had an entire section of my closet devoted to dresses, skirts, blouses, lingerie, and all of the other things I loved to wear. At home, alone, I could dress up and pretend.

But it was never enough. I wanted more. I *needed* more. I wished it could be real, and that I could be a woman all the time. I never had the nerve to go outside my house when I was dressed up. It was just too much for me to even think of trying.

 

I always loved girls. They were so much better than boys. I was attracted to them like any boy would be, but I would also at the same time have a strange feeling: 'I wish I was her'.

I dated several girls (then women as we grew up), but nothing ever worked out for me. I guess my heart wasn't into it. I loved everything about women (except how some of them whined too much about everything). I vowed in my mind that if I was ever reborn female, then I would make sure not to do that.

But other than that single flaw, I saw them as I ideal. I just knew that if my life was like theirs, everything would be perfect, and I would be happy. I wished every day that I would be transformed, and become a woman.

 

Then one day, it happened! I woke up in my bed, and realized right away that I had fallen asleep in the new nightie I had bought at a cheap resale shop I found out in the country, where they didn't know me (or question why a man was buying women's clothes).

But there was one thing strange: I always took off my bra when I slept in female clothes, because once I had damaged my expensive breast forms. But I could feel my chest bulging out.

I realized something then: I could feel the silky fabric of the nightie touching my sensitive nipples. That meant I wasn't wearing a bra to support fake boobs. And that meant....these were real!

In every movie I've seen where a man gets transformed into a woman, the first thing he always does is grab his boobs. I imagined a million times that I was turned into a girl somehow. And I had sworn not to do that. But here were my hands, cupped around my wondrous mounds of soft female flesh. My nipples were so enlarged! They were erect, sensitive, and just crying out to be gently rubbed. I obliged them.

As I started to gently rub them, I felt a ping of arousal between my legs. I could *sense* the fact that there was no longer anything hanging outside my groin; all the equipment was on the inside now. It felt wondrous! I felt so free to be rid of it! I hadn't even started to explore with my hand yet, but I was just so overcome with joy, that it felt better than any sensation I had ever before in my life even dreamed of feeling (if that makes sense).

More times than I could count, I had imagined what it would feel like to have a vagina. I had pretended. I had dreamed. But now I *felt*, and it was glorious. I reveled in the warmth of my first orgasm, and shivered all over as it surged through ever nerve, and every fiber of my being.

I don't know how long I kept at it, but it must have been an hour. But time is irrelevant when you are in heaven. I just knew after a time that I had to stop, because it was getting tender.

I didn't know if my condition was permanent, or just temporary. Or perhaps it was some kind of test from above, to see if I was worthy? I had no idea. It was really mind-blowing that this had really happened to me. But I was determined to do all the things I had dreamed of today, just in case I only had a limited amount of time.

I first went to the bathroom, and for the first time in my life, I was able to sit down to pee! Then I showered. As I washed my hair, I realized something: this house I was in was just like my house, but everything was slightly different. In my bathroom, I didn't have a shaver for my legs. And I didn't have conditioner for my hair. Or makeup on the counter by the sink.

This was my house, as it would have been if I had been born as a girl. It was so exciting to think about. That would mean that my closets were full of clothes, and I could dress up and go out as I desired! With no fear!

It was in the shower that I really discovered my new features. I had long hair now, and I had to work harder to wash it than had been needed with my former short hair.

Or as I applied soap to my body, I really noticed my curves. My hips were wider than my waist, and my rear had a nice round shape. It just made me smile.

I washed up between my legs, and oh what a special feeling! I ran the wash rag back and forth a few times, just enjoying the fact that there was nothing there now! It meant that my panties would lay flat now, and I would look so good in a skirt.

I shaved my legs for the first time, along with my underarms for good measure. I rinsed off my hair, then used a body rinse I found on the white colored wire shelf hanging from around the shower head.

I dried off, and knew instinctively to pat my face dry, to keep from stretching my skin. I wrapped up my long hair in my towel (sort of like a turban), the way I had seem my sisters do.

I put on a pink terry cloth robe that was hanging from the door, and I went into my bedroom to check out the closet. Just as I knew it would, it was filled from top to bottom with lovely wonderful clothes. I just wanted to put on every outfit, and all at once!

I went to the dresser, and found that all my boxers had been transformed. I now had a great collection of panties. I picked out a lacy white pair, and gently slipped them on. How can I possibly describe how wondrous it was to see them lie flat and tight across the front?

Now I dug around through the drawers until I found the bras. I picked out a nice white one with a lacy edge. I had worn bras since I had been young, but this was different. There was something to fill it out this time. As I brought it up to my chest, I felt the soft material gently cup my boobs, and support them. I felt that special constriction I had always enjoyed from a bra, but now with the weight of boobs being pulled down by gravity and up by the bra, the feeling was totally different. It was so special, so exciting. After slipping into sheer nylons, it was now time to put on my clothes.

On my old male body, a skirt did nothing for me looks wise. It did enable me to feel more feminine, but I always looked silly in one. But now that I had curves, everything was different! It looked so good on me! The way it flowed around me. The way it brought attention to my smooth legs. And of course, the way it announced to everyone that the wearer was *female*.

I picked out a cute top, and put that on too. Then I stared at myself in the mirror. At the bottom, it flared out at my hips. It was much shorter in length than a man's shirt, but the skirt came up much higher on my body that my pants used to. I loved how my boobs made the top push out in front of me. And all this was real!!!

 

I went to the bathroom, and worked on my hair with a blow dryer and hairspray, to give it volume. I had seen my sisters do this many times. I had tried with my hair, but it was too short do really do anything with. And I had been afraid to harm the wig I had bought. So I was finally able to play around with long hair. I loved it.

In my closet, I must have had twenty pairs of shoes. I looked at them, and picked out a pair that I felt was the best match for this outfit. I tried them on, and admired myself in the mirror. Then I took them off, and placed them by the back door.

Now time for makeup. I had put makeup on my face dozens and dozens of times. But with a man's face, there was no way to really make myself look pretty. But now I had that chance. I had something to work with here!

I sat down and looked at the array of jars, tubes, bottles, compacts, brushes, mirrors, pencils and applicators in front of me. I just beamed. I was so excited that I hardly knew where to begin!

As I started to apply my makeup, I savored the *smell* of everything. The clean earthy tone of the foundation. The talc smell from the powders. The unique smell of the lipstick and the mascara. They were all wonderful and special, and I cherished every moment as I prettied myself up.

A few puffs of perfume completed my cosmetics work, and I went to put on some jewelry. My ears were pierced, so I put in some diamond stud ear rings. I had a diamond tennis bracelet, a couple of necklaces, several rings and other various pieces. With each one I put on, I felt more and more excited!

 

Now I was complete. Every sensation was thrilling. The feeling of my skirt brushing against my nylons. Or my long hair swaying as I walked. Or seeing long painted fingernails on *my* hands!

My purse was on the table. I picked it up, and looked inside. I found my drivers license. It said that my name was Jane. I liked that, but I laughed at my picture on the drivers license. It looked bad. They couldn't even take a good picture of a woman! I also found a company ID. It looked like I worked at the same place I did when I was a man. I rummaged through my briefcase, and sure enough, I had the same job as before, but just in a different department.

I found my keys, and went to the garage. My red sports car was not there. Instead, I had a Saturn. It did make sense though; it was much more practical, better fuel economy, and lower payments. Plus, it was safer. A much better choice for a woman, such as myself.

I got in the car, and I drove to the mall.

* * *

 

There were so many things I had always dreamed of doing, but I was never able to as a man. For example, how could I ever go into a lingerie shop, and ask to be fitted for a bra? Even if I had the nerve to go out of the house dressed up as a woman, they'd know right away. I could never do that.

So I had to head to Victoria's Secret first. I had them measure me (I was a 38B), and I bought a luxurious red satin pushup bra, a black strapless demi bra, and a lacy white one too (padded too). I also couldn't help myself; I bought some panties, and a silky nightie in pale blue.

Then it was on to the shoe store, where I just had to buy a couple of pairs of heels. I also found some really cute boots that had a moderate heel, and came up to just below my knee.

Next came the cosmetics counter at the department store, where I spent hours looking at all the options. I ended up buying a package at the Clinique counter, that included a free gift set.

I took my shopping bags back to my car, then went in to check out the book store. I had always stared at the books aimed for women, but rarely got the courage to buy one. So now I browsed around, and proudly selected The Nanny Diaries, The Devil Wears Prada, and the second Bridget Jones book. I was a woman shopping for books, so I could take these to the counter without having anyone give me strange looks.

But speaking of looks, I did notice while I was browsing the shelves, that there was this one guy who kept looking at me. I felt like I was being stared at, and l looked up to see him there looking at me. He glanced away nervously, so I resumed reading the reviews on the inner jacket of the book.

But then I had this feeling again of being watched. I looked up, and he was staring at me again. He blushed, turned away, and started to walk out of the store. I felt *so* uncomfortable being ogled like that.

When I had been a man, I thought that if I stared at a woman, then she would take it as a compliment that a man found her attractive. But now being the one in the skirt, it made me feel very uncomfortable. For the first time in my life, I felt vulnerable. I felt threatened. And I didn't like it, not in the least.

But this also brought to the surface something that I had wrestled with all those times I had wished to be a woman. And now, I had to think about confronting it: when I was a man, I wanted to be a woman more than anything. But I was only attracted to women. I decided that once I became a woman, I would be a lesbian. I felt repulsed by that man staring at me, so that helped confirm it in my mind. I still only wanted women.

"Oh, you'll like that book. I just loved it" said a woman carrying a small baby who had snuck up behind me.

I turned around startled for a moment.

"Why thank you" I said.

We chatted for a few moments. I made sure to tell her that the baby had her eyes, which really made her smile. When she turned away to resume shopping, I just shook my head. It was so different being a woman! There is no way a man would ever do what we just did.

Its like we had a common link, being women, and that let us just talk to each other right away. But there was also the fact that being female now, I wasn't a threat to her, like that man had been to me. So she was right away at ease with me. A mother with a young child would never even have looked at me if I was still a man.

It was just one more unexpected bonus from being a woman. I was so happy.

* * *

 

After I got home, I just had to dress up in different outfits. I didn't know if I would change back overnight or not, so I wanted to make sure I got the most out of it.

I ended up back in my bed, and pleasured myself again. This time I explored further, doing things I hadn't before. The first time, I had explored my clitoris, but now I delved deeper into my pussy. It was wonderful! I wish every man could be a woman for at least one day, so they could feel what its like! I prayed that I'd never go back.

I read my new book for a while, after I took off my makeup and applied the night cream I just bought. I got tired, and had to put down the book. I set the alarm for the morning, because the next day was Monday and I had to work. I put my hand over my crotch as I fell asleep. I prayed that everything would be just as it was now, when I woke up.

 

I did wake up once at 3am, having to go pee. I was relieved to find that I was still a woman. And when the alarm went off at 7:00, I was still female! I smiled. This was going to be a great day too.

I showered, washed my hair, then went about getting ready. I had to pick out an appropriate outfit for work, do my hair, get my makeup on, brush my teeth, eat a quick breakfast, and get everything ready to go (not necessarily in that order). When I was ready to go, I glanced at the watch on my wrist with the small face...why do men get large easy to read watches, and we get small ones? Yes, they're cute, but I had to squint a bit to read the time.

Oh no, I was almost 20 minutes late. It took a lot longer to get ready as a woman, than it had as a man. I kicked myself for not remembering to set the alarm for earlier. I had to cut some corners, and ended up finishing my makeup as I drove. At a red light, I applied my mascara. I got a beep from a rude impatient man behind me, because I didn't jump out the second the light turned green. I'm doing something important here buddy! Keep your pants on!

I had to park further away than normal, because I arrived so late. Taking that longer walk in my heels made me realize that I should have picked shoes that were more sensible. But I so much wanted to dress up as feminine as possible, since it was my first day.

It didn't take much to find my desk, and sit down to work. And I discovered something interesting: work is work, no matter if you're a man or a woman. I had to do the same job, and it took the same amount of effort, with the same results. I suddenly realized why so many women were upset when they were paid less than their male counterparts for all those years.

One thing that was different however, was the social aspects of being in the office. For example, as a man I usually ate my lunch alone, reading the newspaper. But today, I had three different women come over, and invite me to join them for lunch. I ended up going with Joan, Betsy and Rose to a Mexican place down the street. Joan and Rose were splitting one dish for their lunches. Betsy asked if I wanted to split something with her. My first reaction was to politely tell her no. I mean, I could eat a whole combo plate there. But then I realized that as a woman, I would eat less because I was smaller than before. But also, women tended to try and eat healthier, and diet more. So I agreed to split it with her.

During lunch, instead of talking about the football games on Sunday, or politics, we discussed very different topics. It had more to do with relationships, friendships, and things like that, rather than events and sports. Totally different! I felt lost for a while, but soon I was jumping into the fray and having a great time of it.

"I heard that Roger is going to propose to Stephanie" said Joan.

"Yeah, that's what I heard too!" added Betsy.

Now it turns out that I had been good friends with Roger when I was a man. And I happened to know that they had been fighting quite a bit lately, and they had dropped their plans for now. So I had to let the girls in on the dirt.

"Sorry to disagree with you" I said, "but I have it on very good authority that those two are fighting like cats and dogs, and they've called it off for now."

A whole discussion broke out, and suddenly I was Miss Popularity for knowing the inside story. Guys would not have cared more than to nod their heads, but here we were analyzing things in fine detail.

"I never thought she was right for him anyway" said Rose.

"And he's not the type to change for her" said Betsy.

With all the talking going on, the lunch hour flew by in what seemed like moments. And we arrived back late. Oh well, we'd all stay an extra 15 minutes to make up for it. It was worth it.

* * *

 

That night, I made sure to set my alarm clock earlier. And before I knew it, I was into a routine. Eat, sleep, work. shop, clean the house. Then repeat. Again and again. Work was really no different than before, except the social aspects. That, and how some of the men stared at you. Not really *you*, but your boobs or your legs. Why couldn't they look me in the eyes? Hello, I'm not down there!

Women at work might compliment me on my hair, my shoes or my clothes. So I made sure to do it to them too. But when I made the mistake of telling one guy that I liked his tie, he took it as a come-on to him. I had to give him the brush-off. He suddenly came on so strong to me, like I had been chasing him or something. I vowed not to make that mistake again!

There was one thing I had to do at work however. There was one woman there, named Kaye, who I had heard rumors about. She was very good looking, wasn't married, but never dated anyone at work. Even at social functions, she never had a date. Rumors swirled that she only liked girls. So now, I had to find out for myself. If it was true, then I wanted to date her.

I made sure I had a good business reason to see her, just so rumors about me wouldn't start. We chatted for a while after the business part of our meeting was done.

"So, tell me Kaye. Where do you hang out when you're trying to meet someone new?"

"You're looking for someone?" she said.

"Exactly. And I wanted your advice."

"Haven't you heard about me?" she said. "Everyone talks."

"That's why I'm here" I said.

"There's this quiet dark bar on 5th Street. It's called Alice's."

"That sounds good I said. What time do you recommend showing up there, if I was looking for someone?"

"Oh, about 8:00 tonight would work" she replied.

To someone eavesdropping, it sounded like a woman giving advice to another on how to meet a man. But we were really planning a date with each other. I was so excited! A date with another woman. Just what I had always dreamed of.

* * *

 

After work, I went home, and picked out an exciting outfit. I chose a short black leather skirt, a black tank top, and I wore my new boots. I put on extra makeup, then grabbed my purse and drove downtown.

After finding a parking space in a good safe lighted lot, I walked the two blocks to Alice's. I looked around, but Kaye wasn't there yet. So I grabbed a booth in the corner, and ordered a couple of glasses of wine.

She showed up soon after, and I was surprised at how she looked. She was dressed up very sexy, exposing a lot more of her body than I was. Instead of sitting down across from me in the empty seat, she sat right next to me! And she put her hand on my lap. She was aggressive! I felt a pang, like that weak vulnerability I had experienced at the book store.

"What, are you going to kiss me now?" I asked.

And she did! It took my completely by surprise.

As a man, if a sexy woman like her had given me a kiss like that, I would have gotten really aroused. I would have gotten hard. So I expected that now I'd feel something similar, like the arousal when I was in bed that first day.

But I felt nothing.

"Tell me" she said, "have you dated a woman before? You see shy."

"No, not really" I said. Well, that wasn't quite true, I had dated before, but never *as a woman*.

Kaye was so nice. She slowed way down, and we started by talking, drinking our wine, then having a little dinner. As I looked around the room, I saw several other women dining and drinking with other women. It was then that I realized that *everyone* in this place was with a partner of the same gender. No wonder I had never been to or heard of this place before.

Kaye held my left hand with hers, touched me gently on the cheek with her right hand, and again we shared a tender kiss. She kissed me again, and I was shocked as she put her tongue into my mouth.

I was kissing a beautiful woman! She was being aggressive to me. She wanted me! This was everything I had dreamed of. Yet, it was all wrong. Because I felt nothing for her. I had been wrong. I wasn't a lesbian.

 

Kaye had been so nice about things. She had told me that many girls were curious, but it wasn't what they had thought it would be. She told me she'd be willing to try again if I ever wanted to.

That night, I cried in bed. I felt like such a failure with her. But I also cried because I was coming to the inescapable conclusion that if I wasn't attracted to women, then....

* * *

 

Today was Saturday. I laid in bed for a while, and thought about the night before. I realized something as I contemplated what I would do: the first few days as a woman, I couldn't keep my hands off of my pussy. But since then, I hadn't touched myself. I hadn't felt aroused. I *wanted* to feel that feeling again, when I had been moaning in the bed from the waves of pleasure. But nothing had made me feel that way.

I went to the kitchen, opened up my copy of people magazine, and I tried something. I leafed through the pages until I found a good photo of a cute actor. I stared at him, and imagined that he was in the room with me. My heart started to race.

I looked him in the face. I felt a rush within me. I was getting excited! I went back to bed, and imagined that it was him doing things to me, not my hand. And when I reached my orgasm, it was better than either of the previous two! I was reeling from delight as it swept over me.

And I knew what I really wanted now.

 

That day, I also had something new happen to me: my first dissatisfaction with my new body. I put on this cute outfit so I could go rake up the leaves in the yard. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt bad. My thighs were too fat, and this outfit made them stand out.

I felt like a cartoon character, drawn out of proportion. How had I looked at myself all those times, and not noticed this? Or how my hips. They seemed much too big for my height. And over time, I would feel worse and worse about my flaws. They didn't seem bad at first, but now I felt terrible. I felt so ordinary and plain. I wasn't in any way glamorous, and I didn't feel comfortable in a skirt or a dress.

I put on some sweat pants instead, to hide myself. Then I went out to do the work. I decided that I needed to go on a diet, and start working out. This was unacceptable.

* * *

 

On Monday, I was scoping out the guys at work. If I had failed with Kaye, I was going to try to go the other way. I smiled at some of them who I knew to be single. But most of them ignored me. I didn't get any vibes that they were interested in me.

So I tried the guy who had come on to me after I complemented him on his tie. I went to his desk, and said hello.

"I was in the area, so I thought I'd drop by to say hi" I said.

He seemed rather excited, and in no time we were talking. I kept waiting for him to ask me out, but he never really got around to it. So I had to do something to take charge.

"What are you doing for lunch today?" I asked.

"Oh nothing" he replied.

"I'm not doing anything either" I said.

I waited again, but he was silent. Come on! What more of a hint do you need? I decided I'd have to ask him myself.

"Well then, would you like to join me?"

"Sure!" he said. Maybe he was just shy? But in either case, I had a lunch date.

 

I felt all excited, and I knew I was doing the right thing now. We just talked, but when we were done I had broken the ice enough that he actually asked me out for Friday that week! A real date! I was as giddy as a schoolgirl.

The week couldn't go by fast enough for me, as I waited for Friday to come around. When it finally did, I hurried home after work to try on a new outfit I bought, just for the occasion. I had dieted all week, and worked out every day. I was disappointed that I had only lost half a pound with all that work. As a man, the weight came right off when I tried to lose it. But as a woman? This was unfair! I couldn't be any better, yet I hardly lost anything at all.

Then to make matters worse, something I had always looked forward to turned out to have terrible timing for me. As a man, the idea of being a woman was of course exciting to me. I had actually wished that I had a period, because that would mean I was a real woman.

So of course, as if on cue, the day of my first date, it happened. I had felt somewhat bloated all day, and as I drove home from work, I had a few cramps. But now, as I started to get dressed, I started flowing.

I had to clean it up, put in a tampon, put on clean panties, put stain remover on the other set to soak in, then continue getting dressed. Now I was cranky too, because I was late. Great. Now I had a date with a guy who wanted me, and I couldn't go to bed with him, because of all days, my period had to arrive today!

I would still be out on a date, but I'd have to do the 'typical woman thing' of only letting him go so far on the first date. And now I was getting more cramps, so I was hurting too. I had to take a couple of pills.

 

The date went fine, except that I didn't feel great, and I had to keep him at arms length. I didn't want to get passionate, then have to stop. I could tell that he was disappointed. I was too, but what could I do? But anyway, I didn't want him to think I was too easy, or that I was just using him for sex. It was nice however, to be treated, and not have to be the one putting out my money for dinner at a nice restaurant.

So with just a peck on the cheek, I said good night, and we went our separate ways. I didn't know if he'd be willing to go out with me again or not, and I felt so mixed up inside that I cried myself to sleep that night.

* * *

 

I was beginning to realize that woman are not all like the models in magazines. I looked at my legs, and hated the veins I could see. The girls in the glossy pictures never had them. Nor did they have an ounce of fat out of place. Here I was, feeling like a blimp, and unable to drop more than a pound after a month of hard work.

I didn't like my hair color anymore, it was too mousy. I got blond highlights put in when I went to the stylist that weekend. Since it was a Saturday, I had planned on going there a little grungy. I wasn't going to wear any makeup. But when I looked in the mirror, I felt naked without my mascara, and at least a little lipstick. I looked too plain without them. I didn't think it would ever be like this, but it was almost like a chore now to put them on, because I *had* to. I didn't even really notice their smell anymore. That made me really sad to think about.

I also had my eyebrows done while I was there, and I decided to make an appointment for a manicure and pedicure a few days later. I wanted to be really pretty, but I was feeling very unsure of myself. I talked to my girlfriends at work about it.

"You sure whine a lot" said Betsy.

That made me jump. The one thing I had hated about women...and here was I, doing it "in spades". I had really fallen into the groove of being a "typical woman" now. It was still way better than being a man ever was, but I had some new feelings that were very troubling.

 

Do you remember how I told you about the mother with her baby at the bookstore? Well, I was noticing now that when I saw a mother with a young child, I was feeling this inner *longing*. I so much wanted to go over, pick up a baby, kiss it, and hold it close to me. More and more I realized the reason why: I wanted to have one of my own. My maternal instincts were kicking in full.

That's why I felt so alone all the time, even with friends! That's why I desperately wanted a man; because I needed a baby. If I only had a baby, then everything would be all right.

I decided right then and there that I would snag a guy from work, and do what it took to get him to make me pregnant. Never mind marriage or anything. I just *needed* a baby. I was in my thirties, and my biological clock was ticking.

* * *

 

There was this young guy Phil in the mailroom. He was so shy! He would barely talk to me. But I caught him looking at me in that way that told me he was interested. So I put the moves on him.

He was young and eager, and I was his first. From my past life, I knew what men liked. So it wasn't hard to get him revved up, and get him to come inside me. And over the weekend when I was at the peak of fertility, we did it four different times! I did feel uncomfortable sometimes, being with a guy when I used to be one myself. But I was all girl now, and those feelings were only fleeting and momentary.

When we were done, he was happy, and I was hopeful. I had to wait months before my home pregnancy test showed a positive result! I made an appointment with an OB/GYN to confirm the results. I was so happy! I had a baby on the way.

 

If I felt fat before, getting pregnant made matters much much worse. I was storing fat all over, and now my belly was swelling up too. Even my boobs got bigger, so there was one plus at least.

As I neared my due date, I was very excited. After finding that he was going to be a father, Phil got scared, and wouldn't even talk to me. Good. He wasn't a "keeper" anyway.

Since I was going to be a single mother, some of the people I thought were my friends started talking behind my back, which strained some of our relationships. In face, I found that the nicest person, and least judgmental was Kaye, and we started to hang out together more often. She even helped me set up the nursery in my house.

We were moving around some furniture, when it hit me. My first contraction. I had been to enough classes to recognize what it was. I went to the stopwatch I had bought, and pushed the button. I waited, bit it was over 15 minutes until the next one hit.

"Soon" said Kaye. "Are you packed for the hospital?"

"No" I said.

"Then lets get you ready. When you get down to 10 minutes or so between contractions, we'll take you in."

I laid on the bed, and instructed her on what to pack. It wasn't until 9pm that my contractions become regular, and 11pm before they were 10 minutes apart. Kaye was a real trooper, and hung in there with me. She got me to the hospital, and sat there with me as I laid in the bed.

I was determined not to use any drugs, but by the time I was ready for intense labor, I was really hurting. I hoped to avoid the epidural, but I was thinking I would need it. If it wasn't for Kaye being so supportive, and helping me to relax and do my Lamaze, I never would have made it through without drugs.

Birth is such a miracle, and so amazing! My body carried this living being for nine months, and now it was emerging into the world to start a life of its own. The doctor cut the umbilical cord, and handed my baby girl to me. I already had a name picked out: Sarah Jane.

I cried as I held her, but it was tears of joy. More than anything, this was the greatest moment in my life.

* * *

 

As you would expect, it is a lot of work to raise a baby. She needs tending, feeding, and her diapers changed. She needs constant attention. She needs love and support. But it is all worth while.

Kaye confessed to me that she always wished that she had a baby. I named her Sarah Jane's godmother, and she helped me out all the time. We became very close.

Kaye and I started working out together, and she taught me exercises to target my problem areas. Bit by bit, the fat started to melt off, and I started to gain the shape I so much desired.

"Thank you so much for everything" I told her, on the day we had a "six month old" party for Sarah Jane.

"I have something to tell you" she said.

"Sure dear. Tell me" I replied.

"I love you" she said.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I had suspected for quite some time. The way she looked at me, that smile of hers. All the time she spent with me. Bit by bit, she had been winning me over too.

"I...I feel something for you too" I replied. "I want to be with you."

"As I want to be with you" she said.

We put our arms around each other, then kissed. This wasn't the rough kiss we had the first time, nor the nervous excited kiss of a young man ready to make love for the first time. No, this was *sensuous*. This was tender. There were more feelings expressed in this kiss, than in what you could say in hours of talking.

"I do love you" I said, smiling.

Now I had everything. I had a wonderful baby. I was a woman. And now I had love. We would be a family together, and raise Sarah Jane to be a proud, intelligent, creative, strong, independent woman.

I cried again, being so happy that I couldn't contain my emotions. What more could a woman ever ask for in life?

  

  

  

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