The Picture               by: Heidi Mueller

 

"But Henry, why don’t you want to go fishing with your father and Uncle John? It will be great fun," asked Mrs. Miller, Henry’s mother. She was quite frustrated because she knew her husband did not want Henry to spend so much time in the house. The two men had planned a three-day fishing outing at her brother’s mountain cottage.

"Aw Mom, I really don’t want to go. I have so much I want to do here at home on the long weekend."

With a sigh Mrs. Miller returned downstairs again. She knew that once Henry had locked himself in his room like that, he was quite determined. She did not think it worth to force the issue.

"Oh, I’m sorry, Love. You and John had better go without him - he’s locked himself in his room."

"I guess we’ll have to," replied Mr. Miller visibly irritated, "I tell you, he’s becoming a real little sissy."

Mrs. Miller watched as her husband and brother drove off in the early morning light. She worried about Henry. It’s not that he’s done anything wrong. In fact, quite the opposite - he’s such a polite, helpful child. He was somewhat timid at school perhaps, but at home he was so outgoing and full of life.

"Oh, I don’t know...", shrugged Mrs. Miller as she turned away from the window.

"You can come out now, Henry. They’ve left!"

Within a second Henry rushed out of the room and hugged his mother.

"I don’t understand you Henry! You always enjoy going fishing with Dad!"

"Oh, I do, but that is different! Then we only go for the morning. I love to see the sun rising and all the beautiful colors. But really don’t want to go for three days", replied Henry, "Would you, Mother?"

"Well, I guess not," replied Mrs. Miller hesitantly. "Your father was very disappointed. But enough of that, come and give me a hand with the breakfast. Then we can wake your sister. I have a lot to do this weekend."

Henry followed his mother. He was very relieved. He knew he ought to go with his father and Uncle John. But he would rather stay. Here he could listen to music, read, or just daydream!

At breakfast, Mrs. Miller observed her two children as they chatted. "I really have a lot to be thankful for", she mused, "they get on so well - not like so many other siblings I know."

After breakfast Henry went to the craft room to read. Actually it was the dining room but as they always ate in the kitchen, the room had become the craft room. It was bright and friendly. Mary had showed him how play a record on the big stereo against the wall. Now this had become his favorite place, and Mozart his favorite composer.

Henry put on "Eine kleine Nachtmusik and curled himself up in the big old armchair to read. Soon the wonderful music filled the room. He was not really in the mood for reading and was soon lost in his thoughts. He was staring absent-mindedly at the picture on the opposite wall. The picture often was the door into his dream world. After all these years the picture had never lost its fascination. He knew every colour, every detail, every brush stroke.

Henry was so engrossed in his thoughts that he did not immediately become aware of his mother and sister who had entered the room. They did not pay any attention to him either. Mrs. Miller was telling Mary that she wanted to redecorate the dining room.

"After all these years, this room has become really so tatty, it’s a disgrace! Look at the wallpaper! Dad and I did the room before you were born - and now you are ten and Henry is eight!"

"I don’t know, Mother. I kind of like it the way it is," replied Mary.

Henry was not paying any attention to the discussion but he gradually started listening involuntarily as they talked about the various wallpaper and drape samples.

"Now, if we chose this paper, the room would look so sophisticated. I will also throw this old picture out and get something more modern."

It did not register immediately. Then Henry realized they were talking about HIS picture. With his face filled with horror, Henry jumped up: "No! No! Not my picture! You can’t throw my picture out!"

Mrs. Miller and Mary looked up surprised. Then they saw the real terror in Henry’s eyes.

"But Henry, it is only an old picture. It was a cheap poster that your Dad and I framed. We will get something more modern and you can help me chose it!" promised Mrs. Miller.

Henry shook his mother by the arm. Tears were now streaming down his cheeks and he was shaking. "No, you mustn’t throw my picture out!"

"I liked it too" agreed Mary. "I did not know you liked it too, Henry. Why can’t we just keep it, Mother?" Mary felt so sorry for her brother.

Mrs. Miller looked at Henry, then at the picture, and back again at Henry. She saw he was shivering with emotion. Intuitively she knew she had stumbled on something that was vital to her son. She hugged him tightly.

"Mary, be a darling and go and make us some tea please. And there are some cookies in the jar." With her head she indicated to Mary to hurry.

When Mary had gone out, Mrs. Miler spoke softly to Henry. "There, there, Henry. Don’t worry. I’ll never throw your picture out! I just did not realize how much you liked it".

She held him tight and rubbed his back as she stared at the picture. It was scene of a mother and her two daughters having a picnic in a field filled with flowers. It was painted in a romantic, impressionist style. The mother and the girls were wearing long summer dresses and straw sun hats - the mother’s dress was white, the older girl’s pale pink, and the younger girl’s pale blue. The girls were busy arranging flowers around the rim of their mother’s hat. "It is actually a beautiful picture," thought Mrs. Miller. "But why was Henry so upset....?"

She could feel that Henry had calmed down. "I like the picture too. Do you like it a lot?" she asked as she held Henry so that she could look into his eyes.

"Oh yes, Mother, I do!" exclaimed Henry passionately.

"Who do you think is the prettiest?"

"I think they are all pretty" said Henry with a sigh.

"And so do I!" said Mary who had just walked into the room with the tea and cookies. "I have often looked at the picture and wished that we could have such a picnic. Aren’t those dresses just dreamy?"

"So have I!" agreed Henry excitedly. "Many, many times."

"That’s enough now, kids. It’s settled then - we won’t throw out the picture. If you are good, and if I get all my work done, the three of us can go on a picnic in Central Park on Monday. Let’s have our tea now."

All through tea, Marie and Henry talked about the picnic and what they would take along. All the excitement about the picture apparently was forgotten. Mrs. Miller sipped her tea slowly. The picture episode had brought many subconscious thoughts, that she hardly knew she had, together in a new thought that troubled her deeply. She wished her husband was there. Then she made up her mind, she would talk to Lucy, her sister-in-law. She knew about these things. Mrs. Miller picked up the phone on the craft table and dialed the number.

"Who are you calling, Mother?" asked Mary.

"Aunt Lucy. Quiet now you two. - Oh hi, Lucy - Yes, I’m good and you? - Look, can I come over today, I really need to talk? - In about an hour will be great! Thanks, talk to you then. Bye."

 

"Well, what’s bothering you, Anne? I thought that with the men away fishing, you would be able to relax a bit?" opened Lucy after they had sent the kids down to the den to watch TV.

"It’s about Henry, Lucy," replied Mrs. Miller nervously. "I don’t know how to begin?"

"He’s not ill, is he? He’s such a nice kid. Wasn’t he going to go with on the fishing trip?"

"Yes, that’s part of it. Look, you’re a psychiatrist. If I am being silly, you’ll tell me, won’t you," asked Mrs. Miller.

"Of course Anne. This sounds awfully serious!"

Mrs. Miller proceeded to explain how her husband had become increasingly concerned of late that Henry was too domesticated for a boy. She had ignored his concern because Henry seemed so happy. Then she related the whole incident with picture earlier that morning.

"Oh I know the picture. I have always liked it too. I don’t see why you are bothered though," remarked Lucy, looking for an explanation.

"Well, it’s not that he did not want me to throw out the picture - it was ‘his picture’. And he was really upset, I have never seen him like that before," Mrs. Miller continued. "And then, while I held him tight to comfort him, I was looking at the picture trying to understand. And then it hit me!"

Mrs. Miller paused to compose herself. This was so difficult. Was she simply imagining things?

"What hit you, Anne?"

"I, I think.. I mean, I wonder. Do you think he imagined he was one of the girls in the picture?"

"Oh Anne! Is that all? It is quite possible that he could have imagined that. We have all done that as kids. I have pictured myself as prince, for example. It’s not anything to be concerned about," Lucy replied.

"No Lucy, I sense that there is more to it. It is hard to explain, but suddenly so many incidents that I had long forgotten, all came back to me today while I stared at the picture - how proud he is when he has baked a good batch of ginger bread men - how he loves to fasten my necklaces for me - the way he and Mary plays like they were sisters - how he does not make friends with boys at school. I just know there’s more to it, Lucy! I am so concerned!"

Lucy knew Anne to be a level-headed woman and she respected her judgement. She did not want her to be unnecessarily upset. So she was very careful in her reply: "Henry appears to be a happy child, there is no obvious mental anguish or stress at the moment. Even if your fears turn out to be correct, there is no urgency to do something immediately. As you know, I’m an adult not a child psychiatrist. I will refer you to a colleague who specializes in children - she is really good, you’ll like her. In the mean time, don’t worry about it any more."

"Thank you Anne, I do feel a little better. What worried me most was thinking that I caused it. I should have been more firm and insist that he played with the boys."

"No, Lucy. That would be the worst thing you could do. That would really cause a great deal of stress. Look, he obviously trusts and adores you. Why don’t you ask him directly - at the right moment of course, you’ll know when - how he really felt about the picture."

 

Driving back, Mrs. Miller thought about Anne’s advice. As she drove she remembered even more incidents. She was beginning to see Henry almost as a new person. But she was not shocked or put off, she felt she loved him even more. "Wait now, I’m being ridiculous here," she chided herself, "we don’t know anything for sure yet. I must not jump to conclusions."

"What’s it, Mother?" asked Henry who was sitting next to her in front.

"Nothing dear," smiled Mrs. Miller, "I was just thinking aloud. I must be getting old!"

"Motherrr!"

"Just joking, kiddo. My, we stayed at Aunt Lucy’s a long time! We’ll be just in time for supper. What would you kids like for supper? Something that we can make quickly."

"Macaroni and cheese!" shouted the kids. Mrs. Miller smiled. She could have predicted that - it was their favorite. Whatever the future would bring, she loved her kids.

 

"It’s late, kids, off to bed with you!" said Mrs. Miller as she looked at her watch. "It has been a long day for all of us. Remember to brush your teeth - I’ll be up soon to tuck you in." She wondered how many times she’s said that phrase.

Lucy’s suggestion has been going around in her mind all evening. Would it be right? Would I not hurt him? What if I gave him the wrong idea? Oh well, it can wait.

Mrs. Miller got up slowly and went upstairs to tuck in the kids. Deliberately she went to Henry last.

"Sleep tight. I love you!"

"I love you too, Mother. Thank you for letting me keep the picture," replied Henry already half asleep.

Mrs. Miller felt an involuntary shiver go up her spine. "No problem, Honey."

She walked out quietly. She turned around a last time to look at her son - how happy and peaceful he looks!

After checking the doors and lights, Mrs. Miller retired to her room. As she lay in bed, sleep eluded her. The events of the day kept on replaying in her mind. Why did this have to happen, everything had been so perfect before? But nothing has changed, everything is still the same. Maybe I’m the crazy one. It’s Jim who put the silly idea in my head! Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep.

 

Suddenly she awoke with a start. Bright light filled the room. "I must be dreaming still," she thought feeling very confused.

"Wake up, Mom, we’ve brought you breakfast."

Slowly her eyes got used to the light. Then she saw Mary and Henry standing next to the bed, each with a tray.

"You said you had a lot to do and it’s already past nine," said Mary. "I’ve got some eggs and toast and Henry’s got the tea."

"You are darling kids!" said Mrs. Miller with a smile as she sat up. "I could not fall asleep last night. So I have really overslept! Thank you so much! Have you eaten?"

"Oh yes. What are we going to do today, Mom?" asked Henry.

"I don’t know," replied Mrs. Miller as buttered her toast, "We stayed so long at Aunt Lucy’s yesterday. So I don’t think we will redecorate the room anymore - we won’t be able to finish it before the men come back from their fishing trip -- just what are you two giggling about?"

"We’re not giggling, Mother!" replied Mary, which only made them giggle even more.

"That is just what we had hoped you would say!" confessed Henry through the giggles. "We really like the room the way it is. I like it when we are working in the room and there are pieces of fabric and patterns all over - it’s so much more fun than those stuffy pictures in your decorating magazine!"

"Yes, we have had some fun times in the room, haven’t we?" agreed Mrs. Miller. As she sipped her tea, she reflected again on the picture episode of the previous day. Darn, I just have to know!

"I was wondering, Henry. Why were you so upset about the picture yesterday?" asked Mrs. Miller.

Henry stiffened and blushed deeply. "I d’don’t know, Mother, I I I -- I have just always liked it."

Seeing Henry stammer, Mrs. Miller knew her suspicions were correct. She took his hand in hers, looked him in the eye and said softly: "You have imagined you were the girl in the blue, haven’t you?"

"Yes, Mother," replied Henry with tears starting to fill his eyes.

"It’s OK, Henry," replied Mrs. Miller reassuringly while she ruffled his hair. "You should have told me long time ago, you silly-billy. We don’t have secrets from each other, remember?"

Mary, grabbed Henry by the hands and started dancing around the room until they were both quite out of breath. "I have also often thought how nice it would be if we could have lived in those times and go on picnics like that!" panted Mary excitedly.

"I tell you what," said Mrs. Miller as she put her arms around her two children, "why don’t we go to town this morning and look for some fabric. Then we could make dresses just like those in the picture and wear them for the picnic?"

"Yippee!" shouted both kids. "Thank you Mother!"

"Well, go and get yourselves ready. We have a lot to do before tomorrow!"

Once the children had gone out, Mrs. Miller sat down on her bed. "Oh my, what have I started now?" she thought to her self. "What have I started? How am I going to tell James? Things will never be the same."

She picked up the phone and dialed. "Hello, Lucy? -- Hi. Yes, everything’s fine. Listen, I am taking the kids on a picnic tomorrow afternoon at Central Park. Please, can you come too? But be ready for a big surprise! -- No, I can’t tell you now. -- Yes, I am very excited! Got to run, we’ll pick you up tomorrow at 3. Bye"

 

 

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© 2001 by Heidi. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.