The Past Now And Forever

by Ashley Steele

 

Prologue: Southern California-2003

Ashley Edward Chayse was pissed. He knew he was going to fast in his mustang convertible but he couldn't help it. He just had to get the hell out of there. He had just gotten home from hanging out with his friends to find his mom and dad had been drinking again and he would be due for his once a week beating. So he got back into his car and left. Suddenly Ashley sees the headlights of the oncoming eighteen-wheeler bearing straight at him and it is too late to swerve out of the way. The last thing that Ashley Edward Chayse knew was the screeching of air brakes and the blaring of horns and the deafening crash and when darkness mercifully came he knew he had died.

I think she's waking up! Her mother must know. Oh Amy, you had us sooo worried. She may not recognize anyone for a while due to her head injury just gives her time.

What the hell is going on, thought Ashley, and why is chick talking to me and why is she calling me Amy. Finally Ashley manages to ask where am I?

Oh Amy, you are at my home where you had been unconscious for the last four days and a half.

Feeling stupid, Ashley asks, "Why are you calling me Amy"?

"Because that's your name", replies Lucy. Dr. Davis had said that you might experience confusion due to your head injury ever since you got bucked off a horse Well, anyway, I'm your best friend Lucy Windham and your Amy Elizabeth Chastain and we have always been best friends since we have been attending Miss Emily's Finishing School for Girls in Boston and we are both seventeen.

Why am I here?

You came here to stay the summer since your mother went to Europe, answered Lucy. She should arrive in a few days.

I don't understand why it would take so long to get here when they could fly.

FLY, laughs Lucy, we can't fly. The only way to get to and from Europe is by steamship. You are being sooo silly Amy. That imagination of yours is what always gets us into trouble.

What year is it, asks Ashley.

Why, its 1885 you silly, silly girl Amy.

 

That night Ashley Chayse lies awake thinking what he has learned so far:

That he is no longer Ashley Edward Chayse- a boy but a girl named Amy Elizabeth Chastain, the seventeen year old daughter of Franklin and Margaret Chastain and I am the youngest of five daughters, -Abigail, Meg, Katherine, and Jessica. The year is 1885 and I attend a finishing school for young women in Boston. It seems that the more I remember about being Amy Chastain the least I remember about being Ashley Chayse. Soon Ashley began to cry and Lucy heard her and came into her room and crept under the covers with him. It was now that Ashley/Amy while held in the arms of Lucy was able to fall into a deep sleep.

In dreams he is told that Ashley Edward Chayse never existed. That he wasn't even supposed to be born in the twentieth century. That he was supposed to live the life of Amy Elizabeth Chastain, the fifth daughter of Franklin and Margaret Chayse. Now she is in her rightful place in history and that eventually lose all memory of being a boy in 2003.

 

The next morning Amy is wakening up to find one of the maids in her room and later is joined by Lucy. Well Amy, Dr Davis feels you should start to sit up for short periods to help regain our strength and your mother should arrive by this afternoon, so lets get you ready.

First she is given a bath where she notices her body for the first time. Amy examines every curve of this new body and gone are all the bruises and signs of seventeen years of abuse at the hand of Ashley's mother and father.

When Ashley/Amy is sitting at Lucy's vanity, she begins to see herself as a pretty girl, but no, beautiful is more the word. She had beautiful long strawberry blonde hair that went halfway to her twenty-four inch waist and the darkest pools of blue of her eyes that anyone; man or woman would become lost in. Now let me get this straight, I am now a beautiful petite 5'2" strawberry blonde blue-eyed girl with a twenty-four inch waist and weigh 110 pounds. For some reason I thought of a line from an old song "she's 5'2" " with eyes of blue has anybody seen my gal".

 

That afternoon while I was sitting up in a chair and reading a book that Lucy had given me, a beautiful middle-aged woman came into my room and I knew immediately that she must be my mother since she looked to be an older version of myself. Without thinking Momma immediately sprang from my mouth as she came rushing to me to give me a hug. This was the first time that any maternal figure was affectionate to me when my own mother or Ashley's mother gave nothing but abuse. I knew right away that Amy was a girl that was adored, loved, and protected by her mother. I would always be her baby in the family no matter how old I got. It came to me that I would try to become the very essence of Victorian femininity and make my mother proud of her youngest daughter when she took me back to Connecticut in a few days

In the days before we left, momma tried to fill in the holes of my swiss cheese memory.

She filled me in on my older sisters-Abby, Meg, Katherine, and Jessica all were married and children of their own and all my nieces and nephews are crazy about their Aunt Amy

I was also told that my daddy died of a heart attack less than a year ago but I was always his little princess and that he loved me with all his heart. With each new fact momma told me another missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle was fitted into place while another piece was being removed from the life of Ashley Chayse and soon they're would be nothing left of him.

 

Three days later, I came slowly down the stairs dressed in a long light brown traveling gown and under which I wore five petticoats and a tightly laced corset. At fist I thought I would pass out it was so tight but I got used to it since I had been wearing them since I was fourteen. I also wearing a new dress sunbonnet bought for me by my mother. Soon it was time for my momma and I to be taken to the train station for our trip back to Connecticut. I then thanked Mr.Windham for taking such good care of me and hugged Lucy and both said we would see each other at Miss Emily's in September and then off we rode.

As I stared out the window as the train passed farmland and green pastures and I became lost in my own little world. My new life as Amy Elizabeth Chastain is so natural and it great to have a mother who cherishes, loves, and protects me. I keep staring at this beautiful girl in the reflection in the window and I can't believe it's me. One of the last few things I remember about being Ashley is doing everything to be the son that my mother wanted but it was never good enough for her. So hopefully I will be able to put Ashley's mother out of my mind forever because my real mother is Margaret Chastain of the year 1885.

 

Eventually Amy had fallen asleep while listening to the hypnotic rhythm of the train engine and several hours later her mother wakes her up and they gather up their bags and head toward end of the station where Henry, the Chastain family carriage driver is waiting for them.

Once they arrive at the house, Amy begins to explore each room of the house. With each she receives memories that all come flooding back and finally ends up in her bedroom. All her dresses and gowns and everything she owns brings back the person she should be and person she will be. At her writing desk, she finds ornate leather bound book and the cover reads:

 

Amy's Diary

 

This is a diary that I started over a year ago before I started at Miss Emily's Finishing School. As I read I realized my wishes and dreams of the future were all written down in this diary. I read that my biggest dream was to become a famous painter and live in Paris. After I finished my diary I knew I was completely Amy Elizabeth Chastain and I had my whole future ahead of me. None of that involved drunken parents that would beat the hell out of me. Only a mother and sisters and nieces and nephews loved and cherished me. Finally it is now that I came to the realization that the last piece to the puzzle of Ashley Chayse was removed forever. I closed my diary and put it away in the top drawer of my writing desk and went down to dinner with my mother. I found myself humming and thinking I couldn't wait to see Lucy at Miss Emily's this September.

 

 

 

 

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