The Operation           by: Michelle A.

 

Cris gradually became aware of a blissful floating feeling. He slowly became aware that, someone was holding his hand. After a while he heard his mothers voice say, " Don’t worry Cris, everything will be just fine. I’ve taken care of everything. Just like you’ve always dreamed of, even if it’s sooner than you planned. Go to sleep, the doctor will take care of everything. After you get out of the recovery room, we’ll talk all about it."

As Cris floated in dreamland, he thought, *** what was that all about? What’s going on? What recovery room? That’s for after an operation. What was she talking about? The dreamlike state did not provide any answers though. Drifting along, Cris thought, ‘this is fantastic’. Awake, but with no outside intrusions: like sisters, little brats, or homework. This is perfect for working on my story. I know that I can make up a story better than anything I’ve read on those internet sites. Let’s see where did I leave off...***

< John sat before his computer typing furiously, >

"All alone at last. Twelve hours all by myself to become Christy. As I practiced walking up and down the hall, I failed to hear the kitchen door open. As I turned around, there stood my mother. Shocked is not exactly the word I would use, but its the nearest word I could think of at the moment. The only thing I can think that explains what happened next is sensory overload. The very next thing I remember is looking up into my mothers face. A look of concern for her child. As I regained awareness, I realized that my head was resting on her lap and she was sitting on the floor in the hall. Her first words were, ‘Are you all right honey . You gave me a scare.’ At my timid yes, she said ‘ Do you think you can get up now?’ Again I said yes. ‘ I think we have a lot of talking to do, don’t you? From the way you’re dressed, I can tell that this isn’t the first time that you’ve dressed like this.’ "

< John stopped for a minute to gather his thought, before resuming with his story. Now, is she going to be loving and accepting or will she turn psyco on him. Thinking a moment, he again resumed typing.>

"Mom asked if I was thirsty, so we went to the kitchen for drinks and to sit and talk. After we got our drinks and sat down, we stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Finally my mother said, ‘ I think it’s time for you to tell me what’s going on, in addition to all the who’s, what’s, when’s and wherefore’s. All of it young man, I want to understand.’ I guess you’d call it standard explanation number 17. The - I’ve always felt this way, I’ve always been different ............ and the only way I can live a full life , is as a woman. Did I ever tell you that mom was unflapable, like when I took a headlong dive out of the giant oak tree behind our house. Three months in a body cast with a separated shoulder. All she said was, ‘ next time you’ll know better’. Well she was an ER nurse, after all. Tonight, she was flapped. Did I say, ‘she’ was flapped? I was a red eyed, black streaked, soggy scarecrow nightmare. My mom said, ‘ Honey you’re a mess. why don’t you go upstairs, take a nice hot shower, and then go take a nap for a while. Honestly, I need to think about this and maybe make a few phone calls. Will you do that for me? We’ll talk again later, after I get some advice, O.K. Honey?’ What could I say? I felt like a wet dishrag, looked like a scarecrow, and wanted to just curl up into a ball and just die. Did I say, ‘Yes mom I think you’re right’. No I just nodded my head. She held out her arms. Instantly, I was sharing a hug that only a mother and child could share.

< Again, John stopped typing. Where do I go from here? Yah that’s the ticket. He again started attacking the keys with a vengence. >

Mom was cool. She got appointments with Doctors she knew who referred me to several specialist and I was on my way. It was a long ,slow torturous way. You all know the routine. Form the exams, the shrinks, the lessons on everything feminine. Mom was great. Everything I needed to know , and some I still don’t want to think about. After I graduated, I started on hormones, getting ready for the RLT. About six months after starting on HRT, I realized that femininity and offroad motorcycling didn’t fit, at least not for me. I decided that one last time, I would take a ride before I sold it. It had been gathering dust for a while. It was a gloroius day for a ride too. After about an hours ride I jumped a hill I’ve jumped a thousand times, but this time there was a fallen tree across the path.

Chris gradually became aware of a blissfull floating feeling. He slowly became aware that, someone was holding his hand. After a while he heard his mothers voice say, ‘ don’t worry Chris, everything will be just fine. I’ve taken care of everything. Just like you’ve always dreamed of, even if it’s sooner than you planned. Go to sleep, the doctor will take care of everything. After you get out of the recovery room, we’ll talk all about it.’

As Chris floated in dreamland, he thought, ### What was that all about? What’s going on? What recovery room? That’s for after an operation. What was she talking about? The dreamlike state did not provide any answers though. Drifting along, Chris thought, ‘ this is a fantastic feeling’.###

Thru a dim haze of pain I heard my mothers voice. ‘Christy..... Christy....... wake up Honey.’ I felt like a..... a mummy. My head and neck were bandaged, my chest was bandaged, my body was bandaged, and low dull pain was everywhere. What happened? Thinking at this point was a major effort. Mom said, ‘You had an accident on your motorcycle. Your injuries weren’t life threatening, but did require some careful thought. Most of the damage was to your groin when you went over the handle bars, and landing didn’t do any good to the rest of you. Your face in general and nose in particular. After we were sure that you were stable, we discussed what was to be done.’ I said, "You mean all the bandages I feel?" ‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘With the extensive damage to your groin, it was decide that now would be appropriate time to do your operation. Plus some work on your nose, voice box, chest and hips. You’re Christy from now on. Welcome home dear.’

< John stopped to gather his thoug.........>

Cris thoughts slowly faded into darkness.

Thru a dim haze of pain I could hear voices. ‘...........Christy........’ ‘Honey, wake up, Honey.’ That was my moms voice. ‘.........Christy.........’ I felt like a mummy. My head amd neck were bandaged, my chest was bandaged, my body was bandaged, and low dull pain everywhere. ‘What happened?’ I asked. That took a major mental effort. Mom said, ‘ You nad an accident on you motorcycle. Your injuries weren’t life threatening, but did require some special consideration. Most of the damage was to you groin when you went over the handle bars, and landing in the rocks didn’t do the rest of you any good. After we were sure that you were stable, we discussed what was to be done.’ I said, ‘ you mean all the bandages I feel?’ ‘Yes’. she answered. ‘with a little electrolysis.......

My story came rushing back to me and to put it mildly I lost it big time. he called me CHRISTY when I woke up, from the bandaged they did the complete SRS operation. Where could they have gotten the idea that I wanted to be a woman. I had those stories just to show those amatuers how to write. My life just went up in flames. A funeral pyre.

I later learned that after I lost it, it was rather hectic. Everyone on the floor was involved with restraining me sedating me and hustling mom out the door. When I next decame aware, it was to a very calm.....no dull emotional feeling. There was a doctor I’d never seen before. He asked, ‘How do you feel?’ How do I feel? After what they have just done to me, they want to know how I feel. Would an Abram’s tank up their butts tell them how I feel? I wasn’t being very communicative, you must understand. Dr. Maxwell just wanted to know why I had reacted so violently when I woke up? It was very unusual for patients to react so violently after such minor trauma and operation. There had to be underlying reasons. Was I upset because I was still alive? Had I tried to kill myself on the motorcycle and had failed? All I could do is glare at this moron. He didn’t have a clue. They eventually used sodium pentathal to get at the truth.

"I must appologize to sart out with. You had us very confused. Let me start by explaining about what happened. You were discovered, in some rocks near your mangled motorcycle. You faired better than it did. When your mother arrived, they decided on a course of action. Your nose was broken and skin was missing. Your mother said, that you were wanting a nose job, and this was a perfect opportunity for it. That and a little skin graft. Of course, some electrolysis will be needed to remove some hair on your nose. Your neck was severely scraped and bruised. You have several cracked ribs which had to be tightly wrapped. Your whole front was scraped and bruised. When you went over the handle bars, you were ripped pretty badly, but that’s all repaired and there wasn’t a lot of blood loss. Do you want to talk about it?" Nurse. Nurse Christy, would you remove the restraints please?

Oh God! How do I explain this to my mother? She’ll kill me.

 

 

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