Once I Was

by Jane Hudson

   

I was busy at work typing up my dictation notes. My boss Ms Anne Butler was someone I learned long ago in another life not to disappoint. I hurried to get my work done for the end of the day. I knew she would be out of HER office as 5.30 pm was coming up . We were leaving early today not the normal 6.30pm –7.00pm. I checked the letter and then my hair and make up. It was part of my job to look the part of a feminine and totally complete lady secretary that I now was. But once it was not like this at all oh yes once I was, oh well that was then this is now. Soon she will be giving me a lift home in her BMW My car was being serviced and all the loaners was out so the garage say's bah right. We drove to her large house it was once mine . I live there as well with. her .

Five years ago I was not Rebecca the brown hair feminine transsexual woman of 6 foot age 38 years old oh no. I am nowadays feminine lady I always wear smart skirts suits and dresses with my hair and make up immaculate. Once I was the boss Richard Parson. I was then the big man, the guy who spoke and people jumped. Now I jump and do as I am told. I had made two very big mistakes one was underestimating a woman and two making life hell for her transsexual brother or should I say sister and Julie ended up killing herself through my and other's hassle and continual giving this person a hard time.

I had dated Ms Butler not long after her brother or should I say sister died. Of course at the time I did not know that the queer in the frock I had driven to the wall was her brother/sister. We dated for 6 weeks. I was having fun having sex with her. Yet little did I know she would be the last woman I would ever f-ck again.

One evening we had been out for a meal and what I thought was a fun night out I grabbed her around the waist and she got hold of my arm and forced me down on the floor breaking my forearm and wrist in the process. I screamed in pain as she did this. Roy my bodyguard rushed in the room. He reached for her as she still had hold of my broken arm. she let go. I fell to the floor of my living room in absolute pain . She spun round her long elegant feminine leg encased in black stocking to match her short black cocktail dress flying upward towards Roy's face, the 4 inch heel of her shoe catching Roy just under the chin I heard the crack of his jaw .She had bust his jaw and knocked a couple of teeth out with one kick .Roy was 6 foot 2 inches and coming at about 14 stone of solid muscle yet a woman of 5 foot 6 inches and about 9 stone had broke the jaw of a judo black belt and a real tough guy. He grunted with pain and he staggered back, but he was not knocked out most guys would have been. Roy lunged at her .I was on the floor watching through waves of pain. He almost hit her but she dodged out of his way punching as he went by into his side he almost went down on his knees but he came back and hit her across the face I saw blood spurt from her nose if he had hit with full force she would be dead. But even so having her nose broke did not even slow her down. She hit him with both small but deadly hand's on the side of his head he went down on his knees this time. She found he had grabbed her hand busting on her left hand the little finger and ring finger with power of the move .Boy not even a yelp from her she calmly got hold of his hand and in a lighting move twisted his wrist and busted it another painful grunt from him. The she forced him down by the arm and wrist. Yet he managed on the way down to hit her in the ribs I heard a painful grunt from her for the first time. He had busted a couple of her ribs. But this did not save him or me she put the feminine high heel in the back of his neck in a move almost to fast to follow she reached down twisted his neck and broke it he died in hurry. I did not believe it this guy had done time was a real bad arse I know he had killed people he done so for me at lest once. Yet this slip of a woman had put him a way OH SHIT I WAS SCARED.

She came over to me I tried to crawl away from her, she just smiled as she cleaned the blood from her nose with tissue from her bag. "Don't run away lover," she said as she went over to me kicking me under the chin the lights went out for me.

When I came around Anne was standing over me." My, my lover are you awake baby" I just whimpered in pain as she spoke to me. She had been to the kitchen and cleaned herself up ."W ell your bodyguard was not too shabby I am going to feel this fight for a while" "Oh you must be wondering as well as scared shitless, oh how cute you have shit and piss yourself my baby I may have to put a nappy on you" .Normally I would be so mad at what this bitch was saying to me I would have beat her like a drum. But I was scared so much I crapped myself I knew if she wanted me dead then that its and there was nothing I could do to stop her .She had just taken out a real animal I always thought I could hold my own in a fight. But against her no contest. " Ah yes I expect you are wondering the who and the why and what next." She said. "The who, well I am who I say I am .But have you heard of British Special Security Service of course you have baby after 9 /11/ 06 when they nuked Chicago city centre we was formed oh must stop saying that I am no longer a member as such. Any way they recruited lot of women as well as guy's and I was already in the Army so I went into the Service and as you can see they teach us girl's very well how to look after ourselves.". Yes I thought I have just seen and felt that at first hand. Oh I must get myself a drink she stepped over Roy's dead body to get to my drink cabinet and poured herself a Scotch. " Oh I would offer you one but I busted your jaw by the look of a couple of lose teeth too as well poor baby" I passed out yet again.

I was still on the floor when I came to. "Hello baby my you have not got a very high pain fresh hold , bit of a wimp maybe I am doing you a big favour in giving you this new life.No the life I will give you means you will have to be strong are you strong enough we will see. " What new life I thought I thought I was dead and she was just playing with me. "Now where was I ah yes the why do you remember a very sweet young guy who worked for you who transitioned as a female, you and it was mainly you hounded her until she killed herself. "That , you scumbag and she grab my busted arm and twisted it I yelped in pain, was my brother later sister" .Oh bloody shit I am dead I thought as I screamed and was also sick . She said "Good for you none of that puke went on this dress or I would of busted the other arm" "Now what going to happen well one we are going to have a car crash poor Roy was killed we end up bit busted up. Then you are going to think about your life and become the person you always wanted to deep down a girl" Oh no she fucking mad no way then I looked in to her eye's as she held my face by my busted jaw in a most painful way . I saw if she wanted it she do it, but once I am away from her I will fix her. Oh I know what you are thinking don't .I won't kill you quick or clean if you try fucking with me, remember the film Seven the guy kept alive in his bed for months before he died and oh yes we did that to a terrorist scum bag once The Service has a lot of leeway nowadays. I was the one that did that to him. I took him down and well I let say I asked him in a not so nice way a lot of questions over a month, I think the acid eye drops did it in the end for him not enough to completely burn them but enough to do the job nice and painfully slow would you like that baby, did not think so. Now It was not a nice thing to but we saved a lot of people doing that in that case.The mean's do my dear justify the ends in these time's. Well any way we was there to save life's anyway we could and we did". Oh god no she a real mad killer and psycho I thought " I also got the dirt on your drugs money laundering and lots more my ,my you have been a bad boy 15 to 20 years I say" I passed out again.

So that was the last night I was a free wealthy man not a work a day TS secretary completely under this woman thumb. The rest was laid out after the so called car crash which she had friends helped arrange.. I was to tell the world how sorry I was for my misdeeds my hounding of Julie that I done it because I knew deep down I was like her inside but did not have the guts to face it and instead hounded the poor girl .My girl friend now a good friend who was in the accident with me was going to help me in fact she was now taking over the company and had full power of attorney over all my affairs. I was not only going to transition but become my ex girlfriend new secretary after my training as such. I was asked why I was told to say one I did not want the bother of running the company as I went through this and hopeful this having to give up the big BMW and the status symbols and being just a working everyday girl may make up in some small way for what I was and what I did. God did I hated every moment of saying this crap and telling them to call me Rebecca .But worse I said it dressed in a skirt suit wig make up a few months after coming out of hospital my busted arm had healed up the jaw was giving bother but I was to going to have cosmetic surgery done on my face to make it more feminine so she said it did not matter.

The months went by I was on hormones I had breast surgery my balls was removed god how I cried that night and she laughed at that. She kept telling me you robbed my sister the right to be a woman so you will be that woman get with it or kill yourself your choice. Some choice I was real scared of the death she could give me if I screwed up my suicide bid so I got with the program. Hair make up the lot. I did not want it I did not like it but I would be the best and most feminine woman I could be my pain free life depended on it.

A year into my transition a guy at the company warehouse across Bristol asked about transition I was asked to befriend Sue as he called himself. or herself must be mad to want to do this to herself but I was told to be her friend so I did what I was told that's it. So I became her friend and at lest I now had a friend to really talk to . Unlike me he/she was 5 foot 8 inches and a size 12 –14 and had lovely blond hair and was quite cute. She was not my size18- 22 I had no fat but I was a big girl. I knew I was never going to have a 100 % pass rate but I did look 100 % presentable I had to or else.

It was then that Anne heard that Sue was being bullied by 4 or 5 guy 's at work .One a Jack Dawson a 6 foot 2 inch 280 lb bag of lard fairly strong but nothing Anne could not put away while doing her nails. Yes it seemed that was he was the main nitwit doing the bulling so she had been told. Anne Still Ms Butler to me ,went white with rage. when she heard this. One Saturday we was in doing paper work it was a cold January day. Get your coat on Miss Parson we are going across town I have to check out something . The voice she used scared me ." Don't worry kitten your not in trouble YET " she said as she tickled me under the chin I hated that it felt so sissy but against her I was. I giggled as was excepted and she smiled good girl and patted me back side scoot she said . We went out to her BMW she said "If you are a good girl I may get you a pink Beatle convertible with a pink interior with private plate CUTIE cute or what sweetie " Yes Ms Butler I said thank you .I was always a big car guy fast powerful now if I get a car it will be a girly girly car oh shit. Once I use to be a man once but not now . She spoke no more she had a real pissed look on her very beautiful face she wore a light pink skirt suit skirt just above the knees matching shoes bag .I wore a light blue skirt suit with a on the knee skirt .I sat with my matching bag on my lap I look in the vanity mirror check my hair make up as I had been taught . Anne smiled and said " Good girl" I smiled and said thank you. I still did not want to be a woman but you can get use to anything I was due for the op soon., now with my balls gone why not it was no use now and never would be. Well I thought thank god I am in her good books and not the bad I had been hand spanked and Paddled at first when I start this girl stuff that had got less as I got more feminine but wow she could hit and I use to end up sobbing and it was so shameful to be spanked paddled and made to stand in the corner skirt up knickers down. Nose touching the corner . So I try hard to do my best to do well as a woman because I may as well be the best I can if I got no choice and to save my arse.

Very soon we park up just up the road from the Warehouse car park.. We got out of the car and walked towards the Warehouse. Wait by the gate I will call you on the mobile in a sec. "Ok Ms Butler" "Good girl" she said. Then off she went she had taken off the 3 inch heels and put on low heeled soft shoe then I lost sight of her. She was good at this moving fast and out of sight. I heard my phone ring in my bag I answered Pop along to the work Canteen and bring my high heels with you she said. I walked as I had been taught in a feminine womanly fashion and in a tight knee length skirt it was the best way to walk and over the time I had lived like this it was the only way I could walk.

I got to the Works Canteen .What I saw would of once made me laugh.Yet Sue was my friend now even if I was ordered to be her friend we had grown close so I was upset by what I saw. They had stripped her of her work uniform and they had dressed the poor cow in a cheap French maid uniform. And they was making her serve them teas coffee in it. She had a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth and a red mark across her face where she had been slapped. Anne was boiling mad . The boss of the Warehouse was over at the main office in a meeting at the time in fact he was leaving anyway as his wife was very ill with breast cancer and these guy were taking advantage of it. There were five guy's in the Canteen and the ring leader was Dawson she sacked them on the spot and told them that they could pick up their wage's slips and P45s on the Monday and it would all be made up. And paid to their account's now get out and off the site.

Dawson stood up and went over to her shouting the odds right in her face. " Who do you think you are .Your just some silly bit of skirt" she answered " I am your boss the M D of this company that who,you racist homophobic tub of lard " Dawson though he did not know it made the mistake of saying " If you was a bloke not a bird I would knock your block off" She smiled laughed and said don't let that stop you sweetie I ll tell you what if you have a go I promise not to hurt you too much " " Then she said tell you what I am a sporting woman If you can put me down I let you keep your job you lose you do not out side work ever touch Sue and that applies to your mate's too. If you do I will come along to your local pub beat the crap out of you .Then I will strip you naked dump you in the boot of my car. Then we will have a lovely ride in the country. Then sweetie I shall bind your arm's and leg's and let you hobble home" "Now does that sound fair does it not" He laughed and said "Yah I don't think so" he answered .Anne said "Well try me "

He was a bit taken a back .One of the guy in the canteen said do her Jack .He was getting red in the face. Anne said "Yes Jack why don't you do me after all I am a silly bit of skirt a real man like you should have no problem." I THOUGHT DON'T DO IT YOU BLOODY FOOL . Don't you see your being set up by her for a bloody big fall. But he was to thick to see it. He swung a huge punch at her she side stepped it easily . Sue look on opened mouth ,I had seen and been on the end of this before I knew DAWSON WAS DEAD MEAT Sue put her hand to her mouth in shock at this lovely feminine woman making a fool of this big guy. Dawson momentum carried him into the door his fist hitting it busting the door. He must of hurt his fist but he went at it again she sidestepped again then again. The guy just could not hit her but after 5 goes of this she showed she could hit him. She hit him just under his ribs the she hit her palm into his nose we heard it break. Blood spurted from it splashing her jacket she then kicked the back of his knee grabbing his wrist and arm and painfully twisted it in to a lock. H e was forced down on to the floor she placed her high heel on his neck . He could not move ." Well kitten that was easy .Mind you I might of chipped a nail big boy. I think your a bit of a sissy are you not my dear but I said I would not hurt you and I keep my word". She let him up he was beaten and as a man broken. He slinked out the door head down .He moved away we don't know where after that well bet Anne did but it was not important.

Then the rest left there was fear in those men face's as they slinked out the door.The big guy in the group had been taken down real easy by this woman they could not believe it.. She said to the men and women who worked on the site another 20 she had got together " Right there is from now on to be no racism or Homophobia or any anti Transgender behaviour in this Company. I will not tolerate any such behaviour as you have just seen.. As you know my brother or I should say sister Julie died due to bullying This will never happen again. Now your old boss who is now known as Rachel. Who once my old boy friend and is now a good girl friend .Well she is also transitioning as is Sue both these people will be treated with respect and if not I will want to know why." She then went onto the new Company policy on such matters The guy's and two girls working there having seen how she sorted out today nonsense's sat up woke up and took notice . They could all see that this very feminine smart woman was no one to mess with . Afterwards she whispered to me no one will ever hit you but me sweetie trust me on that. I gluped and said thanks Ms Butler .Your welcome cutie she said

We both went to the first Aid room . Sue was there was as was John Knopp it was he who had dropped the word on this .He had tried to stop it but had no chance he was a nice guy of 24 married with one 3 year girl .But as Anne would say He could not fight his way out of a paper bag . But she said not every one a fighter. Her beloved sister Julie would of died to save a life but she could never hurt a fly and was no fighter as such . So she had a lot of time for gentle kind people like her sister. I was always amazed at how this killer in skirts could have such a kind soft side to some , yet be such a bitch when she wanted to others like me Sue was sobbing I stood there not knowing what to say funny I felt for her I would not of give a hoot a few months ago But now I felt for her.Why I think I must be her friend now Anne went right over to her and held her tight ." You cry it out baby you cry, no one will ever hurt you again. I promise." Anne thanked John for his help and took Sue to get changed out of the horrid uniform .She asked John to get a metal bin and put it outside. Once changed she took the uniform dropped it in the bin . "John please bring out a fire extinguisher" which he did .She chucked the BMW keys to me and told me to bring the car into the yard and bring over the petrol can inside the boot.. I slipped behind the wheel .I drove if we went out and she wanted to drink but otherwise no way . I pulled into the yard and got out and took over the petrol can to her . " Thanks Baby you're a doll" GEE great I thought. I smile sweetly as I had been taught and said thank you your welcome. Sue had changed into a nice pair of jeans and white lace trimmed top smart heeled boots .which match her outfit perfect and a real cute black shoulder bag Uh oh did I think cute bag oh shit I am starting to think girl for real.

I watched as Anne poured the petrol over the uniform in the Bin . Then she put a match to it up in went in a sheet of flame. "Sue do you know why I did this" She shook her head. " Because from now on you wear what you want. No man will make you wear crap like this again. I am taking you under my wing and I will teach you to look after yourself against these pricks oh and Rebecca will be alongside you learning too she needs to be able to look after herself as well" She winked at me and smiled . I thought Yes and even if I got a black belt in whatever she still be able to kick my arse all around the room and she knew it. Still it would not be a bad. Idea to learn to protect myself from dicks like I seen today.

Once we were back at the Company offices she took me into her office. "Sit down my dear" I did as I was bid smoothing my skirt under as she had taught me. "Well it about time we had a little chat, I know you don't like or want to be feminine and being a TS but you have seem to adapt to your new role well." I said nothing I thought be careful this could be a trap." Oh come on speak I won't hit you tell me what you think" So I said " What choice did I have I am now a TS my ball 's have gone that is why I agreed to the op in the next few months, why not it's useless to me now .I would never of gave up my manhood and life if I was not faced with you and what I know you can do .If I am going to or be forced to do this I might as well get with the program and do it as well as I can." She answered "Hmm logical thinking on your part my dear As you know we are both nasty horrible people. I am a natural born killer I can kill if necessary in a moment then sit down and redo my lip stick and not give a hoot .I have always been a real SOB or should that be Daughter of a Bitch."She laughed. I shuddered at that laugh it was so feminine and musical but I had heard it many times when she had beaten me when first training me to my role. That lovely feminine voice and laugh scared me and she knew. She continued "You my sweet are a rat ah don't think I am insulting you, rats are one of natures great success story's, But like all rat's you are a taker not a giver vicious if cornered other wise you hide and take what you can no matter what the cost to other's I have use my black side for my country. Oh I won't lie I enjoy inflicting pain and beating people I love beating men It maybe that I am proving that as a woman I can not only compete with but win against them. But at lest I can say I have done my bit for this country until it was clear to the service I was on the point of losing control and was enjoying myself far too much .So as know you I was given a Honourable discharge. Oh where the hell was this going now I thought? "Yet you only ever had done for yourself just like a rat. Well My Brother later my sister was nothing like us .She was sweet kind gentle person far better than either of us. That is what you will become to the outside world My sweet what you feel inside is up to you but you will act live and do as she would of done. If you got any sense you will become that person inside as well but that up to you. I my dear am dammed I know that its hell and fire for me when I die but I will still spit in the devils eye when I get there. If you don't truly change I will be bossing you about down there too" she laughed I gave a giggle too. I sat there thinking I that said " Look you got me by the ball's well if I still had then she laughed at this .So what you want me to do I might as well do it. If I try to go up against you I will lose so do or die." Oh sweetie that what I love about you see the truth of your position and work with it . Oh you may hate it but you get on with it good girl" .PHEW I got away with out a beating or a spanking I always hate these chat's .If you don't say what you are meant to oh dear world of pain here I come." Come outside I have a present for you." She told me

We both walked outside by her BMW was a very pink Beetle convertible with BECKY as the number plate oh well better that then Cutie as a number plate .It was not what my old self would have got but what the heck I had wheels again. Anne kissed me on the cheek and said for being a very good girl. Then she gave me the keys and the paperwork. I thanked her as kissed her back just like a girl would some of the staff there was clapping and cheering . Take her for a drive cutie . The hood was down it was cold but dry and the frost had gone. So there I was a woman in a smart skirt suit full make long pink nails driving a pink convertible Beetle . I stopped at the lights a would be Bob the builder in a battered white van pulled up along side me.The fat pig and ugly jerk driving this MOT failure started with the lewd comments jerk or what. The ONLY woman this clown would ever get comes in a box with an air pump. I pulled away giving him the bird as I did so. I had soon left the 15 year old heap behind. It was nice to do so .This was a new 2014 car so a 1999 rusted out pile of scrap was not going to catch me. I put on the Digital car radio Classic FM it was still called that. It was one thing Anne Ms Butler and I agreed on. Mozart Clarinet Concerto was playing or the first time in ages I was feeling pretty good. Ok I was now a TS woman not with a 100 % pass rate sure but very presentable and if I say so myself not too bad looking and I was alive. I could very, very easily be very dead. I knew this was my life it was on her terms but I would make the most of it. I knew a fork in the road had come and I had taken the only one that I could take that was to be as happy as I could and make the best of it and start to enjoy being Rebecca.

After an hour I pulled back in and went in the offices. I knocked on her door and waited to enter she said come in. I did so. Sit my dear which I did as feminine as possible. I thanked her for the car" That's ok sweetie glad you like it" I then asked if I could tell her what I thought still she said yes. So I laid it all out what I had thought about in the car and my decision. She told me "I am glad you have come around after all you could be dead or in Prison .My dear being a girl is not that bad. Look at me am I weak or a loser no I am a woman and I do as I want .If I see a guy and like him them I play the sweet little lady and I have him in the palm of my hand. I think you remember that. But if he get out of hand I show him the door head first. I will show you and Sue how to look after yourself's who know you may get good enough to beat me" Oh yes right pigs might fly " I said. She laughed at that.

A few days later in the Gym at her house we started training. The gym was very well equipped weights as normal bike rowing machine you know all the usual stuff also punch bag which she used a hell of a lot .. But in the middle was a large mat for her Martial art practice. She first had me try out on the bag. Anne watched as I punched at it I had done a bit if boxing and before forming my company, sorry her company now. Well I had to fight on the street in my younger days as a young crook on the rob. I was hitting the bag as hard as I could of course the hormones had lowered my strength so I was not hitting as hard as I use to. Anne told me to stop ."Well you are punching like a guy but that won't work you don't have the speed or power. Before you may have had the power but you were too slow". Sue had just hit it a few time's before she was stopped. " Sue you are just like my sister Julie was a real girly girl which is sweet but that means you hit like one sweetie" .Well she started to show us some very simple moves and using me as a would be attacker showed us both basic self defence moves. The lessons each day went on for an hour a day. We was both put on a training course to build fitness and strength and we got much better at self defence over the weeks later months .But I knew I would never best Anne. We both found out how strong she was I was bigger than her yet on the weight she could out lift me poor Sue had a hard job with weights . She was not weak but both Anne and I was stronger than her. I told Sue about one time at the warehouse .

A few months after I had transitioned Anne and I had gone over there to talk to the Manager there I was tagging along to take note's and just run round after her she loved me doing that. Out in the yard a small box van had pulled into the yard one of the guy's a Peter Hutton was hand balling a load of 25 kilo bags of Potatoes in to the back the load was loose and the fork truck would have had a job to load it. Peter is a real nice guy his wife was expecting, she had a boy cute as a button it turned out. He had a phone call his wife was having their baby so he was off like a robber dog to the Hospital . Everybody was real busy and no one able to help out the loading of this van .We was walking past when the driver a nice young woman said please find some one to help me. If I don't leave soon I will miss my Security check point time to get in to the centre of London. She knew from her time in the Army that it would be another 24 hours before another time was allocated .I had been through them real pain in the arse ,eye scan full car check .But no one get in to a major city without a check with a car . Otherwise all car and lorries are banned. . She saw that all the guy's was very busy and as she was on the spot she said I will help. She was wearing a light grey skirt suit with knee length I went to help no sweetie doing a light work out will do me good she said.. I stood there watching. The young woman got in the back Anne was chucking around the bag's like they was nothing .The young woman was placing the bag's in the van she had a job with them but she did it yet Anne was swing in them up no problem 30 bags .Now and again a stocking top showed .A guy coming out on a fork truck with a load for a lorry nearly lost it when he saw her not only working faster and with it seemed with no bother than most of the guy's, but giving a leg show as well. Soon she had it loaded and the driver signed for it .The girl was on her way. I thought she did that better than most guys here could. The word went around the guys that the sexy boss was as strong if not stronger than they were. Sue said she had heard about that .She had done loads like it was hard work . I told all she did at the end of loading the van was repair her make up. Then we got in her car and went to the office.

Another year had passed I had had my op which was in away a relief for me Sue was there when I came to. She was crying and being a complete girl . It was very painful afterward I felt like sh-t I awoke to this pain. The room I was in was full of flower's all over the room and stuffed toys. I also had loads of cards wishing me well. I saw Anne grinning at me she kiss me on the cheek and said "Welcome to the club girlfriend" I felt like a mess and groggy and I said " What club " Womanhood silly" Anne answered. Womanhood I thought Yes I am a woman now I would never of done this before Anne but I was a woman a TS woman but a woman.Oh boy as Sam of what was the second name seen it on Sky gold something leap would say,.Oh well don't matter what the hell it's oh crap I can't think straight . Oh shit this was so painful it is a well pain almost in the butt but oh well that the way it is for now . But then a nurse came in gave me something, Oh yes lots better. I then went back to sleep. I was in for 4 days then I went home . I had to dilate often and I soon found it was not a chore anything but. I had already been trained to take Anne strap on dido and I was found men by her to have sex with anal and oral. Yet now I could take a man up front so to speak. Funny but where I once was made to go with the guys against my will now I was looking forward to it full sex with a guy. I must be a woman I still rather be a man but I would make my life as a woman I might as well have fun doing it.

My boyfriends was picked by Anne as she told me Julie was sweet loving but very cock happy so as her replacement so are you. I never wanted this but after some very hard paddling and her taking me with her strap on ever night I said ok. I went out with Jack Danning he was my first boyfriend who was picked for me a couple of months after I started living as Rebecca . He was a nice guy about 47 5 '10'' a handsome kind face dark hair just staring to thin at the back. He ran a small Haulage company with 4 Lorries He took me out to dinner dancing and we had sex that night he knew I was per op and he like that. The Dinner was great I was treated like a lady I wore a black knee length dress the chiffon dress looked great on me .I had a small steak he had large one the restaurant was part of a steakhouse chain . Which was ok as the food was good. and I always liked steak and I was sick of eating salads. I had a few white wines and when we got to the club had a few more it was a club that went in for older tastes good can't stand kids music. I was danced of my feet the heel s was starting to kill me. Us girl's suffer for our beauty my dears. On the way back we pulled into a lay-by. He slid his hand up my dress I felt even though I should not so yummy. His hand slid pass my stocking tops and slid into my panties even though I had my balls removed I still felt something he leaned over and kissed me I felt so soft feminine and yielding I had my hand on his penis which was out of his trousers I soon found myself bent over his lap I taking a man prick in my mouth at first I thought no way but I remembered what Anne had told me if I did not .A beating was not what I wanted so get with the program. To think Once I was a normal guy a wealthy guy now I was not only a woman but a cock sucker too. I started to lick his balls has I was taught by Anne and then I licked up and down his 7 inch penis I brought my mouth over the throbbing dick lick all along it and sucking soon he was shooting his load in my mouth I swallowed as I was told to do by Anne . It was in one way yucky but another part of me said to its not so bad Then in the car he took me it was better than the dildo and he was very gentle with me told you nice guy . I thought I may not want to be a girl yet that girl is starting to affect me. I went home that night confused and worried about what I was going to become as I went to bed. I laid there thinking about things. I was not ever going to get my old life back I knew that it was time to make the best of what I had I had not decide to have the op then that came later. Yet now I knew I had to be the best TS woman I could be I had no choice that night confirmed what I deep down already knew. I went out with him for 4 months then Anne found me another guy Dave William he was nice guy still. I think I liked Jack better. I have now been since change over with ten guys all found by Anne .What I could not understand was they was all nice not horrid why I one night asked Anne . I still think Anne But I call her Ms Butler.

 

I had been out with John Fairchild another nice guy . I went to her and asked if I could talk to her. She said yes I said "Ok Ill cut to the chase I was not keen on going with guy now I feel ok with it to a point in fact I try to enjoy it., but I want to ask you how come all the guy are so nice yet hornier than a junk yard dog yet nice.I would of thought you would of set me up with horrid guys" She answered " Why because of what I did and you hate me" She took me in her arm's "Oh baby once I did and I still want you to suffer to a point but hate no not any more you are becoming more and more a woman like my sister wanted to be and that scumbag man is so so dead that you use to be" I started to cry and then sob. She held me in her arms as I cried. She kissed me and then she lift my skirt and lowered my panties and started to finger my pussy I started moaning She put in her bed and fucked me with the strap on .I awoke in the morning She was laying there her arm across my tits. I said I would never again fuck a woman but who said anything about her doing the fucking he he!.

I got up and went to my room and got showered cleaned up then made up dressed in Jade skirt suit matching silk top shoes. I went down stairs. I made us both breakfast for us just a light one some grapefruit and coffee and a couple of rounds of toast. I took them upstairs and served her breakfast in bed .This Saturday we was not into work .You look nice she said to me. Thank you my dear. I said did I say that. Oh crap have I over stepped the mark! She looked at me I thought oh bugger It's a spanking or worse, my oh my yes. I waited as she looked at me and laughed "My what brought that on sweetie." I just stood there Eer er hmm I don't know I said "Ok, ok clam down you are ok I am not upset with you sweetie" Oh good I thought. Tell you what cutie how about we hit the shops we will take your cute mobile two girls out and about being girly fun or what" "Yes great I think that be cool" I answered Ok scoot sweetie she reached over patted my bum I scooted.

I went down stairs something had changed between us I was still very scared of her but there was something else as well. I would not call it love but then maybe it is scary love like loving the female terminator in T3 or something. I think they call it the Stockholm Syndrome where hostages bond with there captors. Is this happing here? Who knows I think where ever this goes it will be me wearing the skirts!! Oh crap I am so messed up in my head I don't know what up or down any more. I know I just want to be to happy . So grab it where it comes

Anne comes down the stairs wear a very smart light grey trouser suit very smart high heels and matching bag she look just so feminine but yet powerful all at once her make up her hair a real beauty. I felt ugly beside her and started crying. "Oh sweetie what's up" I told her how I felt so grab hold of my hand and dragged me to the large mirror. " Look at yourself really look, yes you are tall and you are well built, but ugly no way every woman has her own beauty I tell you too think I had helped come in to being from that male who was truly ugly such a lovely woman. I still think you was so wrong as your male self to bully Julie but that was him .I have killed him in his place you have come in to being I hate to say this as for so long I hated you and wanted you to hurt and for you to suffer but I think I love you as the woman you are and I have never loved a woman before" Wow I thought this is a turn up for the books. " Now don't think you can now do what ever you like and play silly game's I can still and will kick you like a football around this house. My sweet in this relationship I will always be the Boss but I think you have come along way and I want you to be mine." She said. Bloody hell things are moving fast I thought. I have just been told in her hard nose way that she loves me.

We both checked our make up I redid my eye make up after crying. Then we went out to my little pink Bug it's was a lovely spring day. I went to get into the Anne went and opened the door for me I smiled and got in. Then we drove to the Mall we had to stop for an Army Police checkpoint but it was a quick ID check and eye scan being TS was not a problem as it was all in the data base. So not too long a hold up about an hour then we pulled in to the car park. It was built in 1997 and was showing its age. But the shopping was good. We walked into the Mall at the front door there was a police checkpoint just ID thumb print scan. These checks was a bit of a pain but it has hit the terrorists hard and made it hard to operate. The Police was armed of course have been for 9 years now. With all these police and Army about crime had dropped but there was still some about who chanced it. We went shopping I got a few looks being tall but so many people were such over weight slobs the fat time bomb had just gone off in the last few year's. So I felt good when I saw so many fat bodies and I was well built yes but not fat.. We just hit all the shops and shopping was such fun my dear.

I had one of the best days since I had transitioned as Rebecca we went into a shoe shop trying on every pair in the store I got a lovely black high heeled boot's Oh wow did I just say to myself Lovely !!!. Then we sat together having coffee and now we held hand's. Wow she held my hand with out busting it.This was a good a day. That every day above ground is a good day is true ,but today been the best. There I was with the She Lion and she loved me not hated me Oh I know I will still get spanked Paddled and beaten because that the way she is if I piss her off in the corner I go with a very red sore backside .But she will at lest love me as she doing it. Hopeful she won't love me in to Hospital. I also know that she would not only love me but protect me and that good to know. Getting the Company back fat chance I was her secretary that's it so get use to it buddy . But she loves me. She will always be the boss inside work or out .Yet even so I now know she loves me. Guess what I love her I still fear her but I also love her. I went to the ladies with to touch our make up . after we did our business and washed our hands. There was no one in there at that moment she took me in her strong feminine arms and deep kissed me oh wow!. The she patted my rump come on kitten more shop's await. I had been shopping before on my own or with Sue its ok Sue mad on it but today was just the best.

After John Lewis and some make up and nail polish in a lovely pink for she always love red polish we went out to my car. I had the door opened for me again by Anne that was just so nice I was feeling so feminine today. The way Anne treated me today made me feel so good. As we was driving back toward her house but now our home she said to me " Baby I love you which better than hating .But I still like guys and I think you gotten to like it too so we will still go out with our boyfriend but we will also have fun ok" I thought as if I had a choice but what the hell. Ok I said to her. I was coming up to the Bristol main check point . I said Anne we had better go on the city by pass route which was part of the old M32 .As we was not booked for a city enter checkpoint pass check. . In the last 6 years no cars or other vehicles are allowed in to any main City with out advanced notice and a full check over for people and cars Lorries vans and stuff.. "Don't worry baby I have got a pass arranged we are going into the City for a great meal at the new restaurant that opened City Point." Anne told me. I answered, " Do they do a good steak there" She laugh " Now that's the guy shining though there baby". I drove slowly up to the heavy concrete blocks and the barrier, the Cops and the Army guys was there in full body armour. Armed to the teeth. We both showed our ID's eye scan's full body scan and the car was checked out top to bottom. .Then we was let though.

I drove to the Restaurant and parked in the front of the Restaurant since the ban of vehicles in town those let in have very good parking. We walked in holding hands her in the trouser suit me in my skirt suit. "You know why I am in trousers sweetie" Anne said " Yes " I whispered . "It mean's you wear the pants in our relationship" " Right on baby" she answered. We was shown to the table and well the night just started so well and went better. The meal was just great and she got me steak a big one with all the trimmings she said "This one time and maybe special occasions otherwise Salads" .We also had Champaign. I only had one glass I was driving . but then I had another she said "Sweetie don't worry I have book us into a Hotel just a quick walk from here so you can have a drink" Wow bloody hell red letter day today. I thought. I won't go into the meal the candle light music the whole thing. It was just so dreamy a night. Oh god I thought dreamy did I think dreamy the girl in me is really taking hold I loved being a guy yet now I feel so feminine oh bloody hell.

We walk well she walked I sort weaved a bit and she help me a long I was giggling and trying to kiss her she just laughed . I wanted to get to bed I wanted her to take me . We got the lift up to our room it was just so lovely. I felt her pick me up in her strong arms and took me to the bed room. .It funny I am lot bigger than her and I am kept fit by her.Yet she is much more stronger than me. It scares me yet makes me also feel safe from other if not her. We made love that night not just sex but love as two women it was just well great. I awoke with her arms across my tits and her head resting there too it felt so nice. Once up she had a couple of new outfit sent over to us a smart red knee length dress and jacket with matching shoes bag for me. A mini skirt in black leather and white top with leather jacket black leather high heeled boots for he. She look super hot. .

We left the hotel after she paid the bill. Then we went to my car she drove my car the hood was up as it was raining .Bummer it great driving with the hood and with my lovely boss and now lover in it. The looks we get even I have had some good comments its fun. Hell I am thinking so girly nowadays. We was off home back stopped off to have our hair done leg wax and all the works another girly day!. We was driving off to a small town on the way to Weston Super Mare a place called Backwell .We went to a Beauty Saloon called Beauty's Rest.. It was run by a woman who was a good friend of Anne and her TS sister Julie .She was a 50 year old lady tall at 6 foot but very lovely .But 24 years ago she was a he named David now her name is Dawn Peters and she lived for beauty fashion and her hunky boyfriend of 9 years .Richard He was 43 6 ,2 a well built guy with short black hair even I fancied him a bit ,gee did I think that.. We walked in together and was warmly welcomed . I at first hated these sessions but over time I enjoyed them more and more. I quick liked my shoulder length chestnut brown hair and Anne look great her blond hair falling gently to her shoulders. Today we was just having a wash and style without being changed and a full leg wax and arms well everywhere. Then we had our nails done I have mine long but not too long a lovely red today. It very relaxing having your hair done and nails but not the wax that stings but having your nails done is real nice. Oh hell I am think so girly now. Dawn made sure we was treated like queens and we had such a lovely time and chat with the girls. All too soon we had to leave and be on our way.

I don't always go out just with Anne a lot of times I go out with Sue. My dear friend is such a lovely person and such fun. She had been taking a lot flack from the jerks before Anne sorted it now. But now she is a far happier and so full of fun .Where she work as a Fork truck driver everybody likes her and she a very hard worker. I drove over to her flat on Locking Road in Weston. She lived in a small rented flat not far from a small parade of shop near the Petrol Station. .I walked pass her small 2008 Jap hatchback It was in good condition and she loved her little red car. I went to the front door of her flat it was a house built at the turn of the last Century it was turn into two flat s about the 1970s . The Blue front door had paint peeling and was in bad need of painting a job her landlord/ lady had not got around to yet. I rang her bell. I waited a couple of minutes and she came down the stairs she was so happy to see that me gave me a girly hug and kiss. I was invited inside it was the first time since she moved from the bedsit . We went up the stairs to her one bedroom flat as I walked in it was just lovely she had it done out in a feminine but not over the top way. The colours were soft and feminine the lovely soft drapes was a love touch at the window. It was small .I walked into the small living room there was a kitchen area a shower room and small bedroom..The bedroom had loads of fuffly toy she was nuts on Teddy bears and dolls. The wardrobe was full and some of her stuff was hanging neatly on the wardrobe doors. She made us both coffee and I also had a chocolate biscuit. Sue was wearing a great black pleated skirt white top cut low to show her breasts off just a little. Black high heeled boots and a cute little black jacket. I was wearing a just below the knee length skirt flower print in cotton suede high heel boots in brown. A black cotton top show a little of my cleavage a nice causal jacket in black. I like most woman unless its hot love boots there something very feminine sexy and empowering about boots. Opps think like a girl yet again oh well might as well now.

Well we went down to my car she like the current music so I let her tune it into Radio 1 it's a BBC station and I hate it but what the hell. We drove to the M4 and joined it at St Georges we joined the motorway and headed towards Bath. Two girls out for the day shopping. It was heavy traffic but not too bad after an hours and 48 mintues we made it to the Park and Ride. I parked up the car and we went and waited for the Bus. As we was stood there chatting Sue notice a couple of young guys a dark haired guy and a blond on they was in there early 20s very fit and as said to oh they are just so cute. She sure liked boys problem is now at last so did I and it scared me. The guy noticed us looking over and smiled at us. They both came over that when I noticed and Sue did they were holding hands. Oh bummer they are gay how come all the real nice good looking guys are bloody gay. The Blond one said "Hi ladies I notice you looking over and we thought you might like to chat my name Dave this is my partner Peter. We both held out our hands and we gently shake their hands they were so soft. They asked us if we was going shopping and we said yes. They seemed like a pair of nice guy a while ago I would of labelled them poofs queers but now to me they was just nice guys. I was chatting with Dave and he asked if I did not mind how long how its been since I had transitioned. I told him and I knew that my height and build gave me away but he also sussed Sue too . He sharp on this lark Sue is very good a Ts to spot her you got to be on the ball. The bus came and we all got on I paid with my longer term Park and Ride pass for myself and paid for Sue as well as it was for two. The ride did not take long and we chatted all the way. Well we was off the bus and shopping lots of fun they was real great guys Peter was a Police officer Dave a Nurse. I said to them that I bet you both look good in Uniform they blushed. Dave told me at one Nurse's party the girls at a leaving party for a young nurse getting married had him dress in a ladies dress uniform. We laughed at that he told me he done some drag at different pubs and clubs. But that night out was wild. He said you girls sure know how have a good time. Sue and I laughed at that.

Well we went into Debemhams trying on dresses skirts trousers top having a great old time. Dave and Peter was fun company we almost talked Dave in to trying on a skirt and top. Shame he did not I think he would of looked cute . Then Sue and I found this great little shoe shop. Anne had given me a credit card for my shopping as long as it was only spent on feminine things, so I was going to give it a caning. The boy's unlike straight guy's was egging us on tell us that looked great or those was yuck.The two girls did not take longer to suss that they were gay. Sue and I went mental we tried on every shoe or pair of boot in the place I got 3 pairs of sloes all high heels I am not allowed flats and a real great pair of knee length boots 4 inch heels hey if I am going to have to be a girl be the best one I can be that what I say. I got Sue and she did not argue 4 pairs of shoe two pairs of boots one pair that would be great with her black trousers she just got. Well Anne not just her boss but almost like an Aunt to her she just loves TS . To Sue after Anne beat up the Bully well Anne is almost a goddess to her she worship the ground she walks on. So I don't think Anne would mind a few hundred being spent on her. Well the day was coming to a close and we said our goodbyes to our new friends. We have stayed friend with them turns out Anne knew Peter she know so many Police and a lot of the Army that around as well. Both Peter and Dave have been to Anne house to visit Anne and I Sue too as she spend a lot of time with Anne .At work Anne is Sue boss and still a friend but boss first but outside they are close friends.

Anne is such a woman of contrasts .On one hand a stone cold killer tougher that the toughest of men I know of. Yet she can so kind and loving to those who can't stand up for themselves .She has been a solider and a warrior yet is still a very feminine and lovely woman. Her body strong powerful yet still beautiful. She unlike some who have served there country has no bigoted ways about her. I at first feared and hated her so much and I knew this woman had me by the balls then had them removed. I knew she could kill me with one hand if she wanted yet she could also be so kind and loving. Over time my hate slowly turned to love I still feared her and was now very submissive to her .The fear also becoming a strange thrill for me I felt an almost electric shock when she touched me. Oh I would never of picked this like my new sex but please god I now love and fear and need her so much .The man I was she had broken and remade as a feminine kind loving Ts .Oh at first it was just an act but over time a deep down change over came me I BECAME WHAT SHE WANTED ME TO BE. Would I rather be a man one level yes but now there is so much I love about my new life . I for the first time I have real friends not so called friends who wanted me for my money or what I could do for them. I had another friend who has just started at the Company International storage Ltd .She a TS too Eve is 45 and an ex Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineer who does all servicing and maintenance on the Company 8 7.5 Ton Lorries and 6 Transit Vans. She was my height but only a size 16 she was an attractive blond . Yes another blond TS in the conpany .She was not a 100 % passable but good looking TS.She became along with Sue a good friend. Yet I was also friend s with the other 9 ladies who worked in the office I was also on friendly terms with the guys who work at the Warehouse and our transport department on the main site. I must admit I loved the way they looked at my legs some of them I knew two liked me lots I went out with them . Anne said you like a bit of rough I smiled and said nothing .I remember the fun I had sucking cock on Joe while Anne was inspecting a load that came in. .We was in the cleaning tools cupboard while we was in there Anne was sorting out the job .I thought I GOT AWAY with it No boy did she laugh and then in the office had me across her lap and hand spanked me so bloody hard all the girl 's knew what I had been up to and Anne had found out .She just gave Joe a rollicking .She told him you two want to fuck, fuck but not on my time now fuck off back to work .The old Army Sergeant in her came out now and then. But she liked Joe he was a nice guy in his 30 s and dark good looking so that all he got.

The woman that was Anne always surprised me I came home from shopping with Sue and Eve in tow and we all heard a lovely sound of music. She was in the living room with a lovely new piano she was playing like an angel. I knew she could sing she had a lovely voice but I never knew this all 3 of stood there open mouth. She turned to and said like it girls oh yes we all said. I learnt how to play in Middle East can't go girly shopping there I when off duty learned to play. I thought is there nothing she can't do .She even had a PPL Private Pilot's Licence. I too had one for light aircraft one day she hired a twin and took us up I was allowed to fly It had been a while but it was fun I missed it .I thought I was good wow she was a top gun. I thought as I watched her play talk about alpha male here is an Alpha female.

So that is my life I never asked for this I would not of wanted it.Yet I was now a TS woman and I was now a lover of men but I was in love with my Ruler and lover. She who was so feared by me yet now so loved. So as I await my now beloved Mistress to come out of her office. I await in fear and also with love boiling inside me. I in some ways have never felt so alive. I will never be the rich powerful man I was .In some way I am less but in many ways I was much more than I was. I have been forced to this life I may as well.live it and well love it. What else can I do. So that it my life as a enforced TS woman. But I come be in a worse state dead or in prison a woman is not bad in facy its in many way so bloody good.

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2004 by Jane Hudson. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.