On Becoming A Squaw
by: Betsygirl

Part 5

 

There was excitement in the air that morning. During our morning communal bath in the river, my sisters of the tribe seemed more animated than usual. There was a constant buzz of conversation among the women. When I asked Fair Dawn about it, she said that today was the day that the chief and tribal council announced which of our sisters would be selected to represent the tribe in the state's annual beauty pageant. She said that it was quite an honor to be selected to represent the tribe.

Fair Dawn told me that she, herself, had been selected as the tribe's representative a few years previously. However, when she went to the state competition, she found that her beauty could not stand up to some of the representatives of other parts of the state. She was not even one of the four finalists that were selected. I found this difficult to believe because, to me, Fair Dawn was the prettiest woman of the tribe, followed closely by my former wife, White Dove. A few others that I thought were attractive included my friends Pale Moon and Little Deer.

After our bath, we helped each other dry off so that we could quickly get dressed and gather in the council chambers to hear the decision of the chief and the tribal elders. I put on my robe and walked with Fair Dawn and others back to our cabins. Since her declaration to the tribal council and our subsequent joining, Fair Dawn and I had shared a cabin.

We dressed in our white satin lingerie, stockings and deerskin dresses and put moccasins on our feet. As always, I enjoyed the sensuous feel of the lingerie on my skin. In addition, I still wore my corset, which Fair Dawn laced me into daily. Even though I had been off of hormones for awhile, I still wanted to maintain my feminine shape. Besides, I enjoyed wearing the restrictive corset under my dress. We did our makeup and our hair and then joined several of our sisters as they headed to the council chamber.

We were somewhat surprised at how many of our sisters had already arrived and were seated. Fair Dawn, Pale Moon, Little Deer and I quickly found some places and sat together to await the council's decision. A low hum of whispered conversations floated through the chambers. Everyone grew quiet when the chief and tribal elders appeared. All of the women of the tribe eagerly waited to hear which of our sisters would represent the tribe at this year's pageant. The chief and the elders briefly whispered among themselves, making sure that they still agreed on the decision. At last, the chief stood up to address the women.

"Women of the tribe, for many years it has been out tradition to select one of you to represent all of our women alongside the fairest women of the state. As we have done previously, we sought the advice of several of the women before we arrived at our decision. Each of the women we spoke to, as well as many who came to us privately, had the same thought on the woman that should represent the tribe." At this point, whether intentionally or not, the chief paused in his speech and looked at the women assembled there. It had the desired effect. Each of the women seemed to move to the edge of her seat to hear the decision of our elders.

After a few seconds of silence, the chief resumed his pronouncement. "The elders of the tribe have agreed with the advice of the women. Our representative this year to the state beauty pageant is your sister Pretty Maid." At his announcement, the room erupted in cheers. It was one of the few times that the chief and the elders tolerated an outburst of this nature in the council chamber. I sat there in stunned silence, not believing what my ears had just heard. Just after the chief spoke, Fair Dawn and Pale Moon had both reached over and given me a big hug and whispered their congratulations. The chief allowed my sisters to rejoice for a few seconds before raising his hands for silence.

"To comply with the state pageant requirements, Pretty Maid will be accompanied by her three chaperones, Fair Dawn, Pale Moon and Little Deer." Once the pronouncement was completed, the chief and the tribal elders left the council chamber. Again, I was hugged, first by Fair Dawn and then by Pale Moon. All of my sisters came up to me. Each gave me a big hug and wished me well in the pageant. A few recounted their time as the tribe's representative and told me what a wonderful experience it was. I thanked each of my sisters in turn and said how surprised I was that they felt that I was worthy of this great honor. I would do my best to represent all of the women of our tribe. We lingered in the chamber for some time, talking with my sisters, before we returned to our normal duties.

During the next few weeks, there was much preparation to do in order to be ready for the pageant. As we would be away from the tribe for three days, I would need to take many clothes. Based on the experiences of others, I would need two or three evening gowns, two bathing suits and an outfit to wear during the talent competition. All of this was in addition to the deerskin dresses that I would take to wear normally. Furthermore, I needed to decide what I would do for the talent competition. Pale Moon suggested that I should sing, especially with my lovely alto voice and the fact that I always sang so prettily while doing my tasks. She even had a suggestion for a song that I could present during the competition. "I know it sounds clichéd and may be considered stereotypical but I thing that you should do the old standard 'Indian Love Call.' With your voice, it would sound wonderful." After I thought about it for a few seconds, I agreed that her choice would be a great selection.

In addition to performing my normal duties with my sisters, the time between being selected as the tribe's representative and the pageant was filled with rehearsing my song, selecting my evening gowns and bathing suits, and making sure that I stood straight and walked properly, especially when I was wearing heels. Each day during our communal bath, one or more of my sisters would offer words of encouragement and support. I was heartened by the supportive attitudes of all of my sisters.

Two nights before we were to depart for the state pageant, there was a gathering of all of the women at the ceremonial clearing. I dressed in nice white satin lingerie, a fresh deerskin dress and my moccasins. Fair Dawn carefully did my hair and makeup. I always enjoyed feeling cosmetics being applied to my face, especially now since Fair Dawn was the one applying them. Foundation, powder, blush, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick were carefully and lovingly applied. When she was finished, Fair Dawn produced a mirror, so that I might see how nice I looked. When we were joined, I had thought that Little Deer had done the best makeup possible. However, Fair Dawn's handiwork exceeded that of Little Deer. I wanted to kiss her in thanks, but she cautioned me that it might cause my makeup to smear. I reluctantly held back and simply voiced my deep love and appreciation for what she had done.

A garland of flowers was then placed around my neck and flowers were pinned to my hair. Little Deer and Pale Moon were waiting to escort me to the celebration. I entered the clearing and proceeded to a seat at the front facing my sisters. Little Deer led the ceremonies, reminding us again that the flowers around my neck were a symbol of the continuing of our people's ways from the ancient past to the present. The flowers in my hair signified the presence of the Great Spirit.

Our female religious leader was there attired in her traditional robes. She prayed saying, "Great Spirit, we invoke your protection on our sister, Pretty Maid. Allow her to be a true representative, not only of the women of the tribe, but of all members of our people. Let her know that the spirits of our ancestors are inside of her and go with her wherever she goes. Be with Pretty Maid while she is away from us and return our dear sister safely to us in your good time." After this prayer, the women gathered and formed a circle around me. The women then spoke an ancient tribal chant which was used to envelope the person inside the circle with the protection of our ancestors. As they spoke, I could also feel the love of my sisters radiating inward toward me as we stood together.

When the circle was broken, each of the women stepped up and gave me a hug before returning to her cabin. White Dove, my former wife, was the last of the women to embrace me. As she hugged me, she smiled and said to remember that all of my sisters loved me and were supporting me. I almost cried tears of happiness when she said that. After one more hug with my former wife, I returned to the cabin accompanied by Fair Dawn, Pale Moon and Little Deer.

The next morning, after the communal bath, I spent the day rehearsing my music, trying clothes on and packing. My three gowns were the same style but in different colors. The basic gown was a sleeveless fitted full-length sheath satin gown with a rounded neckline. While not skin tight, each gown really hugged my figure. My gowns were in red, dark blue and dark green satin. My bathing suits were one piece fitted things with high cut leg openings and a scooped back. I needed to carefully tuck myself when I wore either the black or the white suit. We had decided that my outfit for the talent competition would fittingly be one of my regular deerskin dresses. Fair Dawn would do my makeup each time and Pale Moon would do my hair. Little Deer had already done my nails in a bright red polish and would handle any emergency repairs that were needed.

On the morning that we departed, I savored the company of my sisters during our early morning communal bath. When I returned to the cabin to get dressed, I felt a degree of sadness, knowing that I would be away from the women of the tribe even if only for a few days. As I smoothed my dress down over my corseted figure, I reflected upon how completely I had been accepted by my sisters and, in turn, had become one of them since I became Pretty Maid. I felt a warm inner glow of satisfaction as I thought about my life as Pretty Maid.

Fair Dawn, Pale Moon, Little Deer and I were ready to depart. As we emerged from the cabin, we were surprised to see the entire tribe, led by the chief and the elders waiting to see us off. This show of support really touched me. Before entering the car, I briefly thanked the tribe for their support of me. If I had spoken much more, I am sure, I would have cried right there. As it was, I just got into the car for the one hour drive to the site of the pageant.

We checked into the pageant hotel. After taking our things to our rooms, my chaperones took me down to be registered. I received my sash, identifying me as the representative of the tribe and met some of the other young ladies that were competing. I was to wear my sash at all times, except for the talent competition and during the morning rehearsals. At the orientation, we were introduced to the pageant officials, given the schedule of events for the three days and then reminded that contact with people, other than our chaperones and the pageant officials, was not allowed. This afternoon, all of the contestants would rehearse a big group opening number and then this evening would be the preliminary talent competition. Tomorrow, there would be another rehearsal of our group number and then preliminary competition in both swimsuits and evening gowns. Saturday would be the actual pageant, open to the public where our state's fairest would be selected.

The first rehearsal went slowly at first, as we learned the routine that we were to perform. Nevertheless, we made rapid progress learning the routine. Many of the girls wore leotards or workout attire. I was the only one there in a dress. After dinner, I freshened up in the room and changed into another deerskin dress. Fair Dawn redid my makeup, creating more of a glamour appearance for the talent competition.

Of the twenty girls performing, I was scheduled to be twelfth. When it was my turn to display my talent, I felt a touch of nervousness. However, with the familiar opening notes of my song, I relaxed and just let the song flow out of me. Afterwards, I saw several of the pageant officials nodding approvingly. My three chaperones quickly embraced me, enthusiastically raving about my performance.

The next morning I was up early. While the solitary bath was nice, I missed the morning communal bath with my sisters, a sentiment that was voiced by Fair Dawn for all of us over breakfast. Our morning rehearsal was improved today, now that we knew the routine better.

After lunch, with my swimsuits in hand, I prepared for the bathing suit competition. We had decided that I would wear the black one now and the white one on Saturday. Little Deer helped me get ready. First, I put on g-string satin panties, both for protection and to allow me to properly tuck myself. Next, I put on a pair of nude pantyhose. I so much prefer stockings and a garter belt, however they are impractical under a swimsuit. I then stepped into my suit and drew it up over my body. The material in the suit fit me like a second skin, amply showing off my feminine curves. Lastly, I stepped into my black four-inch heels. Fair Dawn again did my makeup in a glamour fashion, using more blush, mascara and eye shadow. She also used the lipstick to make my lips appear fuller. My hair did not need much and Pale Moon quickly took care of it. Lastly, Little Deer made sure that my pageant sash, announcing what area I was representing, was placed so that it went from my right shoulder down to my left hip.

The swimsuit competition was essentially a walk down the runway, stopping at the edge of the stage, posing for a few seconds and then walking back. All of the practice in standing and walking that I had undergone before I left the tribe was needed to present the proper image in this competition. All of the girls wore solid color swimsuits with some wearing "modest" two piece suits. It seemed that four-inch heels were the standard footwear for all of the contestants. When it was my turn, I slowly walked down the runway to the end of the stage, swaying my hips as I walked. At the end of the runway, I stood with my left hand on my hip and smiled broadly while facing the audience. I turned slowly and then walked back, again swaying my hips as I walked.

I changed out of my swimsuit and heels and into my satin lingerie, deerskin dress and moccasins. My chaperones were waiting to discuss how I had presented myself. We talked over an early and light dinner. After dinner, it was time to get ready for the evening gown competition. This evening, I would be wearing my red satin evening gown. Although our bodies were covered more, this event was simply a repeat of the swimsuit competition. We would walk in to the front of the stage, pose, turn and walk out. However, after all of us had competed in our evening gowns, the pageant officials would announce who the top four were in each of the preliminary competitions.

In each case, they would start with the fourth place finisher and work up to the winner of each preliminary competition. I finished second in the talent competition, third in swimsuits and third in evening gowns. While I was disappointed that I did not win any one of the competitions, I was excited that I had finished in the top four in each category. Fair Dawn, Pale Moon and Little Deer shared my excitement and enthusiasm. The pageant tomorrow would be very interesting.

On Saturday, the pageant began after lunch, not that any of the girls competing in it could eat anything. For our opening routine, each of the contestants had been asked to bring an outfit that was representative of their personalities. My outfit obviously was one of my deerskin dresses. The girls wore everything from a baseball uniform to a poodle skirt and top to a workout outfit. As I came onto the stage with the rest of the girls, I noticed the chief and the tribal elders in the audience. In a way, I was glad that they were there.

After our opening number, we had to quickly change out of our outfits into our evening gowns. Even with every thing waiting for me and Fair Dawn assisting me, it took a few minutes. After removing my dress, slip and moccasins, I put on an ankle-length full slip and my blue satin evening gown. While I put my heels on, Fair Dawn zipped me up. I then quickly put on my elbow length gloves. I was so rushed to be back on stage that I felt that I had simply thrown my clothes on. When I looked at the gowns some of the other girls were wearing, I felt that they might have missed when they threw their clothes on.

We were then introduced to the audience. The emcee gave our name and the area that we were representing. Each of us would then go to the front of the stage, pause and then move to one side or the other for the next girl. When all were introduced, we stood there smiling at the audience while the emcee said that these young ladies were our state's fairest in the land this year. We then filed out on either side of the stage.

Next was the talent portion of the pageant. I had a few minutes before I was scheduled to appear. Pale Moon helped me out of my gown and heels. Fair Dawn had my deerskin dress ready and waiting. Little Deer checked my hair and makeup and did the necessary touchups. I was not nearly as nervous this evening as I had been during the preliminary phase.

When my turn came to perform, I simply went out with a high degree of self-assurance and simply sang from my heart. When I was finished, and the audience was applauding my performance, I glanced at the chief and the elders. They were all smiling broadly, apparently over how well I had done.

Next, it was out of my dress and into my white swimsuit and heels. For some reason, I thought my feminine form looked so muck nicer in the white suit than it did in the black one. The swimsuit competition during the pageant was identical to the preliminary competition. I took my stroll down the runway, smiled, posed with one hand on my hip and then returned to my dressing area.

Again, I hurriedly changed out of my bathing suit and into my dark green satin gown and elbow length gloves. Thankfully, this would be the last time I changed clothes during the pageant. Of course, I would change into my deerskin dress and moccasins when I returned home to the tribe. I also realized that, after three days of wearing four-inch heels for several hours, how much more comfortable my moccasins were. Fair Dawn rechecked my hair and makeup and applied several more coats of creamy lipstick to my lips, making them fuller and more lush. After blotting my lips and making sure that my sash was in place, I was ready to return to the stage with the other girls.

Once back on stage, each girl went to her assigned space as the emcee prepared to announce the four finalists for the title of the state's fairest. Some of the girls held hands, as if to wish each other luck, while waiting for the announcement. Many of the girls, including myself, chose to simply stand erect and smile while waiting. I listened as the emcee dramatically announced each finalist. I almost didn't hear him say that I was the fourth finalist. When it registered in my mind, I blushed and let out a little squeal of glee as I put my gloved hands together in front of my face. The girls standing near me all reached out and hugged me as I moved to the front of the stage to join the other finalists.

As I looked into the audience, I could see the pride reflected in the faces of the chief and the tribal elders. I glanced to the wings of the stage and saw Fair Dawn, Pale Moon and Little Deer simply beaming over my success. The emcee asked each of us, in turn, what our objective would be if we were chosen the state's fairest. After a few seconds thought, I calmly answered that I would be a true representative of all women in the state, but more importantly I would feel that in every appearance, the presence of my sisters from the tribe would be with me and would support me.

We were then led off stage while the judges tallied their scores and confirmed the final results. The chaperones for each of the finalists fussed over the girl, making sure she looked just right. Fair Dawn, Pale Moon and Little Deer were no exception as they checked my hair and makeup one last time. Fair Dawn was so excited that she gave me a big hug as I came off stage.

It was finally time to return to the stage. The emcee first announced the third runner-up. It was a young lady from the northeast portion of the state. Outwardly, she had a big smile on her face, but I could sense her inner disappointment at not winning. The second runner-up was then announced. She was from the city in the southwest portion of the state. She likewise was smiling but was seemed to be on the verge of tears.

The emcee then stated the standard line about the first runner-up filling the position as the state's fairest if the winner could not fulfill her duties for the entire year. He then indicated that he would now announce the winner of this year's pageant. It was a dramatic moment as he opened the envelope and said, "And the winner of this year's state's fairest pageant is …….."

At that moment, the alarm went off, signaling both the end of another pleasant experience with the tribe and the beginning of a new day. I know that out of this most recent experience, I will probably attend the pageant and experience it firsthand. I also know that I am now shopping for additions to my feminine wardrobe. I want a white one-piece bathing suit and a dark green satin evening gown. Maybe those clothes will help me relive the entire experience so that I might find out whether I won or not. I am also looking for a recorded copy of "The Indian Love Song." It is a melody that continues to pleasantly run through my mind. As Fair Dawn indicated before I was selected, it is an honor to represent the tribe.

 

 

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© 2001 by Betsygirl. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.