Not One of the Girls

by Sarah Bayen

 

Like they so didn't think of me as one of the girls! How could she say such a thing! I was just so angry with my mother that I nearly rang up Anna to say that I wouldn't be coming. But then I decided it would prove her even more wrong if I did go! One of the girls, indeed; what a terrible thing to say to her son! Anna and the others knew very well that I was a boy, of course they did! And they let me hang around with them because they liked me, and thought I was funny, not, and I repeat not, because they thought I was one of the girls.

Once I had resolved to go, I had to decide what to wear. It was the middle of summer, so I decided to wear shorts. The girls were lucky, they could wear skirts when it was as hot at this, but shorts were the next best thing. They were better in some ways. You can wear shorter shorts than skirts and still be decent. I had three pairs of shorts; a nice tight denim pair, which I quite liked; a red pair I had sort of borrowed from Kelly a couple of months before and never returned; and a blue towelling pair I had bought for the beach. I got them all out and put them on the bed. God, it was difficult to choose! The denim ones looked good, but they were a bit stiff for the hot weather. There was no doubt that the other ones would be more comfortable, but I didn't want to look too, sort of out of place next to the girls. I bit my lip. Oh, just go for it, I told myself, and slipped the denim pair on.

Now when I said they were tight, I mean totally tight! They bit into the top of my legs once I'd worn them for more than an hour or so, I was always left with ugly marks, you know, on my skin. Still, I thought, as I looked at myself in the mirror, they should do. Now some boys wear socks with shorts, can you believe that? It is just so not the thing to do! I had a nice pair of sandals in blue to go with this pair, and I slipped them on. Now that looked okay, although my knees were a bit of a funny shape.

Now choosing a top to go with it was more difficult. It was going to be such a hot day, I could tell, especially wandering around the shops with the girls! I had taken precautions of course. I had smothered my armpits in deodorant, so that they sort of looked white underneath. That might be a problem if I had to lift my arms, but at least they wouldn't smell!

In the end I went with a tight black top. I liked it, and it left my arms uncovered, which would probably keep me a bit cool. I didn't really like my arms; they were skinny, and pale, not like Anna'. In fact they were more like Jess's, and she was a redhead! Still, at least I didn't have as many freckles as her.

Now wearing tight shorts had one disadvantage. I couldn't really carry anything in the pockets. Not that I like doing that in jeans either really, it sort of ruins the shape. So I had got myself a little bag to carry essential stuff in, like my money, and a hairbrush, and a few other bits and pieces. I was a bit self-conscious carrying it at first, in case people thought it was like a handbag or something like that. But after a while I got used to it, and people never really stared or anything like I had imagined they might. I checked what was in it, slipped in my trusty cell phone, and slung it over my shoulder. I was ready, and wouldn't be that late.

Well I didn't think I would be anyway. What I hadn't realised is that my mum was going to have another go at me on the way out. What did I think I looked like she wanted to know? Well, actually, like I thought I looked pretty cool, but she didn't want to hear that. She said I looked like a girl! Oh really? Like a girl would wear her hair like this, would she, I asked her? I mean, I knew I sometimes wore it in a pony just to freak her out, but today, I had let it just hang loose. And no, I told her, I hadn't shaved my legs! I just wasn't all that hairy!

Somehow she couldn't get over the fact that I didn't look like an athlete like my Dad. She just couldn't face it that at thirteen, I was still skinny and short, and stuff like that. Well maybe I did look a bit like a girl, but all thirteen year olds look a bit like a girl unless they're really athletic don't they? I couldn't see what all the fuss was about. Well in the end, I told her I didn't want to talk about it any more, and just stormed out of the house.

I had to run to the bus stop because Mum and her moaning had made me late. I saw the bus we were supposed to be catching leave long before I could reach the bus stop, so I was pretty miserable as I trotted the last few hundred yards to the stop. I was certain that the others would have gone on without me, and I'd have to get the next bus on my own.

But when I turned the final corner, there were three figures at the bus stop, and they all waved to me! That was just so sweet, they had deliberately missed the bus, so that they could travel in with me. That was why I loved these girls! We swapped kisses when I got there, breathless by now, and I told them all about how stupid my mother had been. I missed out the bit about them thinking I was just one of the girls, because, well, it didn't seem right to trouble them with it when we were going on a shopping fest.

Anna said she liked my top, and that really got me fluttering. I mean, I do like all the girls, and I think they like me, but really it's Anna that I like best. She just so, well, just so something! She's like, well, really tall, and she's got the most lovely skin. Her Dad was black or something, and she's sort of half black herself, and just so yummy with her long frizzy hair. She's dead good at running as well; she can certainly beat me, and most of the boys at school. The only person who was as good as her was Billie, and apparently she was going to join us down at the mall.

It felt so good to be with my friends after my argument with Mum, and we spent the next fifteen minutes talking about what we were going to look for in town, and giggling like kindergarten kids when they find out what 'bum' means. Apparently the night before, John, one of the kids at school, had rung Kelly up and asked her out! That sort of thing was always happening to her. She was blonde and pretty. Anyway, John was a bit of a dweeb, and we all had a laugh about him fancying Kelly, and what she had said to put him off.

The bus came along, and we all stepped in and paid our fares. The driver asked where us girls were going, and we all giggled again. Like every time we went anywhere, everyone assumed we were all girls, even me! I hadn't really liked it at first, but after a while I got used to it, and now, like all the rest, I thought it was a real hoot. I mean, it's not as if I really looked much like a girl, in spite of what mum had said. I didn't have boobs or anything, and like I hardly ever wore any make up, apart from a bit of eyeliner, and lots of boys wear that. I blew the driver a kiss as we walked to the back of the bus to carry on with our natter.

It was about a twenty-minute ride to the mall, and we filled our time talking about all sorts of things. Anna didn't really join in as much as Kelly, Jess and me, but then she rarely did. She got out a magazine and started reading it, while I did my impersonation of Miss Jenkins, the games teacher, which always made us laugh, even though we knew she was a lesbian. She even smoked cigars for God's sake. We were laughing so much, we almost forgot to get off the bus, and the driver had to remind us by pointing out that he was off for his coffee break. We picked up our bags, and made our way off the bus, and into the mall.

Billie was going to meet us in there. She so like fit that she runs every morning, and we figured that she'd probably decided to run to the mall. Like yuck! Can you imagine it, on a hot day like that? Turning up at the mall in a tracksuit and all sweaty and stuff. Kelly reckoned the shops would refuse to let her try on stuff, and I had to say, I couldn't really blame them if they didn't! I mean ew, can you imagine trying something on that someone really sweaty had tried on before you?

Anna agreed to go off and find her while Kelly, Jess and I started shopping. Like the other thing wrong with running to the mall was that Billie wouldn't have her mobile with her! Can you imagine going to the mall without a mobile phone? It was totally bad, almost like going naked!

Jess wanted to look at underwear, and Kelly and I tagged along. Jess reckoned she'd grown a bra size over the past couple of months, and wanted some new ones. I looked at her, and had to agree that she was getting bigger. I was glad I didn't have boobs like that! She was like a C cup or so, at thirteen if you can imagine that? Kelly and I giggled that she wouldn't ever need a boob job, unless it was one of those reducing ones.

Jess was really serious about her boob problem, and had one of the assistants measure her. While this was happening, Kelly and I had a look around. They had a sale on, and there was a big sort of bucket full of knickers at half price and less, and we had a rummage through it. Now don't think I'm a pervert or anything, but I sort of like girl's knickers; well, unisex ones I mean. When I bought my first pair, my Mum nearly went ballistic, and called me all the names under the sun. But they're more comfortable than standard boy's only pants, so I like them. But the main reason I wear them is that I do most of my shopping with my mates, and I just can't be bothered to drag them off to boy's shops for smelly pants! It's a lot easier for me to get my underwear where they get theirs, to that's what I do! My Mum still buys me some boy's stuff from time to time, bless her, and I have to admit, it's useful for school, on gym days at least! Boys aren't anywhere near as understanding as girls about how comfortable nylon and silk can be!

Kelly found a crotch less pair, and we squealed in excitement about them so much that one of the other assistants came over and told us to shut up! That made us giggle even more, and in the end we picked out a couple of pairs each. I got couple of floral tangas, because I like them. They sort of hold me in at the front, otherwise I stick out a bit in tight jeans or shorts. Not that I'm all that big, of course, but it does look a bit funny with a bulge in my flies, and I like to avoid it if I can.

Well it turned out that the assistant didn't think Jess hadn't grown a cup size at all! She was well put out I can tell you. We walked out of the shop with her in a right mood, muttering about how condescending the assistant had been. Kelly and me nearly took our knickers back in protest, but as they were on sale, we decided that it would have been too much fuss.

My cell phone rang. It was Anna. She had found Billie, and they were waiting down at the food hall for us. We decided that we probably deserved a break after Jess's disappointment. What an old cow that assistant had been, to say that she was still a B cup when anyone could see that she was at least a C. We decided that she was probably jealous, since she didn't seem to have any boobs at all. Even mine we bigger, we noted. Note to Mum; see? They don't think I'm one of the girls at all, because they know I haven't got any boobs to speak of!

We found Anna and Billie sitting at a table when we got to the food hall, and went over to join them. Our worst fears were realised. Billie was wearing trackie bottoms and a smelly old black T-shirt. Her hair was short anyway, but you could see that it had been sweated in. What was she like? She thought running was more important than shopping, and that was up to her, but you couldn't sort of combine outfits for the two! I mean, it's not as if the rest of us tried to join her running in four inch heels! So why did she think she could come shopping wearing trackie bottoms? We were shamed.

Jess fairly told her off about it, but Billie just told her to mind her own business. Actually she looked all right sweaty, in a strange sort of way, and I made myself blush by imagining Anna all sweaty, and having to cool her down by flapping a towel in her face. Kelly and me went up to the counter to get some shakes. We continued grumbling about Billie. It was awful. People would think we were lesbians or something with her dressed like that! I mean it was bad enough that everyone always mistook me for a girl, but for them to think I was a lesbian as well, that would be too much! To emphasise this, the woman behind the counter asked us ladies what we wanted, and Kelly and I fell into fits of giggles before being able to tell her.

We took the shakes back to the table, and sipped them through straws. Billie was going on about the town carnival in a couple of weeks, and about how we should go in for the parade. She was always a bit like that, you know, keen on charity stuff; gay whales rock against the bomb. No cause was well and truly lost unless Billie had organised something on its behalf. I was about to say something along those lines, when Anna said she thought it was a good idea. That stopped me in my tracks. If Anna thought it was a good idea, well, that was good enough for me.

Jess said she didn't fancy walking through the town all dressed up, and I told her not to be so mean. It was in a good cause after all. I smiled at Anna as I said this, and she smiled back. If Anna got tired walking, I could always lie down next to her to help her relax, I thought to myself. Kelly wasn't keen either, but with Billie, Anna and me moaning at them, we managed to persuade them to give it a go.

We then had to think what we might go as. Billie suggested Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and I said, like, hello? We'd need eight of us to do that, and there were only five of us! She got grumpy, and we giggled when Jess told her, because, well, you know, grumpy was one of the dwarves anyway! Goldilocks and the Four Bears didn't seem right either, and I sort of said that because it was so hot, we ought to think of costumes that wouldn't be too sweaty. Sweaty like Billie already was, Jess pointed out, and we giggled some more!

Then Kelly suggested we go as the Spice Girls, because there were five of them. They'd just broken up, and were a bit old hat, but Jess and Anna thought it might be a runner, if we were serious. I coughed, and pointed out that I wasn't really a girl, but they said that didn't matter, because I could easily pass as one if I dressed up right. I was a bit uncomfortable about that. I mean I didn't normally dress up as a girl, even if I liked unisex knickers. I wouldn't say I'd never worn a skirt, because that would be a lie. I'd tried them on in shops sometimes, just to keep the others company, and once, a couple of months before, we had decided to try to get into an over sixteen's disco, and I'd borrowed one of Kelly's dresses to make me look older. They hadn't let us in as it happened, and we went off to the hamburger place instead. But, like, I had worn a dress all night, so I suppose that counts as dressing as a girl.

We were talking about who could be which one. I said I should be Sporty spice, because she was the butchest, and she wore trousers a lot of the time. Since I was the only boy, that made sense. Billie didn't agree, because she'd set her heart on being Sporty, and the rest of them agreed with her. She was more used to wearing tracksuits and stuff, and anyway, she was a lot more sporty than me. I wasn't very happy about this, but I let it go.

Anna bagged being Scary of course. With her dark skin, and curly hair she was pretty much a ringer anyway. Jess said that as she was a redhead, she could be Ginger. I pointed out that I could wear a wig, but Billie said that I only wanted to be Ginger so I could wear that Union Jack dress that she used to wear, so I shut up. That left me and Kelly fighting over who should be Baby Spice, and who should be Posh. Since Kelly was blonde, and tubbier than me, we decided that she would make the best Baby, and that I would have to be Posh.

I didn't really want to be Posh, and tried to say that maybe we should go as S Club, or some other band that had boys in it, but they were too into being the Spice Girls by then, and just ignored me. We started talking about costumes. Billie was going to wear her kick boxing trousers and shirt, she decided. No change there, I thought to myself! Anna had a sort of floaty top she was going to wear over a pair of black trousers. I pictured this in my mind, and quite liked the effect. Kelly had a baby doll nightie that she thought might do the trick quite well for her to be Baby Spice. That left me and Jess to sort out. She didn't have a Union Jack dress, and we couldn't think of anywhere to get one quick and cheaply. Kelly suggested we look through some back copies of magazines to see what else she had ever worn, and then maybe Jess could wear that. We all agreed that was a good idea.

All their eyes then fell on me. What was I going to wear? For some reason, my Mum's warning that they just thought of me as one of the girls kept running through my mind. So I suggested I could wear a black halter neck top over a pair of jeans. I even had a black halter neck top that I had worn once or twice, so it wouldn't be difficult to put the costume together. But they thought it was a rubbish idea. Posh wore Gucci dresses, and that was the look I should be after. Otherwise, Jess pointed out, people might not know who I was supposed to be. I said that there was no way, and I mean no way, that I could afford a Gucci dress. That cut no ice either; apparently any old Little Black Dress would do the trick. So I said hello, I'm a boy you know. I don't actually have a Little Black Dress!

Well apparently that wasn't a problem either. They all had LBDs; Kelly even had three or four, so I could borrow one. The thought ran through my mind that maybe I could borrow one of Anna's. That might be quite nice, going round to her place, and trying on one of her dresses. But she said no. I wasn't her size. She was right of course; I was a size eight. I knew that from when I'd borrowed a dress to try and get into the club. Anna, like, wasn't an eight, she was a bit bigger than that. Billie was a lot bigger than me as well, and Kelly, although she wasn't any taller, was a bit more buxom. So that meant I'd have to borrow one of Jess's. She said I could come over any time and try it on, which was kind of her.

We chatted on for a bit more over our shakes, and then resumed the serious business of shopping. In one store we even found an LBD, and after a bit of persuasion, I tried it on. Actually, let me just say that it makes it a lot easier trying on dresses and stuff if you're already wearing unisex knickers, so there! Nobody looks at you funny like they would if you were wearing boxers or something. So that's another good reason to wear unisex knickers, just so you know. Anyway, it looked pretty good on me. Anna said it made my arse look cute, which made me blush like just so much!

We spent about four hours going around, which isn't bad for us, almost a rush in fact! I got myself a cute little powder blue jumper with pearl buttons. It didn't really go with my top that day, but I had some white ones to wear with it. It was sort of ballet style, if you know what I mean, wrapping over on my tummy. Anna said I looked cute in that as well, and that made me smile.

Billie and Anna wanted to go and do some running when we got back, so Jess, Kelly and I went round to Jess's house. Her Mum made us tea, which was nice. She cooks better than my Mum, because she knows that I don't like to eat anything too fattening.

We listened to some CDs in Jess's room after that, and had a chat about the people at school. Big Pete is actually going out with Jenny Bradshaw! I didn't know that until Kelly told us! She'd seen them snogging after school last week!

Then we remembered the carnival, and started thinking about what we could wear. We dug out some old pop magazines, and looked through for some pictures of Ginger that Jess could copy. We managed to find one where she was in a pair of black trousers with a sort of glittery top, and as luck would have it, Jess had some stuff like that! She dug it out of the wardrobe, and tried it on. She looked really good, and dead like Ginger in the picture. She also found a little white nightie for Kelly to try, and once she had it on, we put her hair in bunches so she'd look more like Baby Spice. It was really good.

Jess wanted me to try my outfit on as well. I was a bit reluctant because it was a dress. I mean I had worn a dress before like I said, but I was a bit put out because of what my Mum had said that morning. They persuaded me though. It looked really good, better than the one in the shop. The only pity was that Anna wasn't there to see it, because I'm sure she'd have thought I looked really cute in it. Kelly said I needed a bra with it to make it hang right. She was sort of right, because it was a bit baggy around the chest, so Jess lent me one of hers. Actually it was the same one I'd worn when we'd tried to get into that club. I was just putting it on when Jess's Mum came in.

God, she made a right scene. You'd have thought nobody had ever borrowed anybody else's bra before! She gave Jess some real verbal about it, and then asked me if I wanted to be a girl! It was so embarrassing! I told her, like, no, I didn't want to be a girl, and then she asked me if I wanted to go out with boys! Like the boys at our school are just so gross! I can't even bare to hang around with them, let alone snog them or anything! Jess tried to explain to her that we were supposed to be the Spice Girls for the carnival, and that sort of calmed her down a bit, but I was really upset. I wanted to take the dress and the bra off, but Jess said no, it was all right. Her Mum even bothered to say I looked quite good in it then, though it was a bit late. She even said I should wear tights with it, and made Jess dig me out a pair to try.

She was going to help me put them on, but I said no. I knew how to put on tights. Not that I'd worn them that often, but, well, the previous autumn when it was getting a bit colder, I still wanted to wear my shorts, but my legs were getting covered in goose bumps! So for a couple of weeks I tried wearing shorts with tights so I didn't have to wear long trousers. It was all right up to a point, but with everyone else moving into jeans, I sort of ditched the idea fairly quickly, and wore jeans until the following spring.

So anyway, putting on tights wasn't much of a problem, and everyone said it was an improvement. I tried on some of Jess's shoes as well, to see which ones made me look most like Posh. It was hard to say which pair was best. There was this blue pair, which was really good, but they were blue, and didn't really go with the dress. She had a black pair as well, but the toes were a bit pointy, and I didn't like them as much as the blue pair really. Kelly looked through the pop mags again, and we looked at what shoes Posh really wore. Actually the black pair was pretty much the sort of thing she seemed to like, so in the end, we decided that maybe they were the best.

Jess's Mum was in a better mood by now, and had us all go down into the garden to take some photos of us in our outfits. It was quite a laugh really, and we did all sorts of poses to try and look like the proper Spice Girls, even if there were only three of us. Her Dad got home from work, and came out to see us, and laughed as well. It was cool, because he always thought I was a girl anyway. Jess and me had never bothered to put him right, and I suppose her Mum hadn't either. He told me I looked very pretty, and I smiled for him. I just wish he could convince Anna that I was pretty as well, and then I'd be well made up.

It was gone nine o'clock before we finished, and got changed out of our costumes. I said goodnight to everyone, and Jess's Dad drove me and Kelly home. He said it was dangerous for young ladies like us to wander around the streets on our own, and that made us giggle, because he still didn't know I was a boy, even though I was now wearing my shorts and stuff!

I nearly freaked out when I got in! My Mum was sitting on the sofa crying! She jumped up when I got in, and hugged me really hard, saying how sorry she was about the row we'd had that morning. It made me cry a bit as well. She said she was really pleased I got on well with girls. It meant that when I grew up I'd understand them better, certainly a whole lot better than my Dad ever did. I was pleased for a minute, but then she said that maybe I spent too much time hanging around with girls, and that I should try and get some boys to be friends with me as well. I told her that all the boys I knew were really yucky, but then she dropped the bombshell. She'd arranged with one of her mates to bring her son around tomorrow. They were arriving at about half past ten, and staying all day! That was just so bad! I had sort of arranged with Jess and Kelly to meet them at Kelly's place, so we could try out the makeup for our outfits. I nearly told Mum this, but then sort of thought she'd not be too happy about me putting on a lot of makeup after what she had just said. So I just said I was busy, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

I rang Kelly up to tell her, and she thought the same as me, that my Mum had overstepped the mark. But there was nothing to do about it. This boy who was coming was at public school as well, so he was going to be a real jerk. Kelly had gone out with a boy from public school for about a week, and he'd been a bit freaky, so she knew what she was talking about when she told me I'd have an awful time. We chatted for about half an hour, and then decided we might as well go to bed. Kelly said she'd let Jess know why I wasn't going to turn up, so she wouldn't be too disappointed.

The next day Mum suggested I should wear jeans instead of shorts. Like hello, I told her; it's the middle of summer! So I put on my blue shorts and a yellow top, and waited for the geek to arrive. When he did he was worse than I had imagined. He had really short hair, and thick glasses like a real dweeb. Mum sat in the garden with her friend, and made me take him up to my bedroom to listen to music. I asked him what he liked, but he didn't seem to know, so I just played some stuff I liked. I danced to it a bit, like I do when I'm with the others, but he just sat on the bed looking stupid.

Then he suggested we played football. Like, do I look like I want to play football? I hate it! I occasionally kick a ball with Anna and Billie, but no way did I want to play football with him! I mean, he could see I was wearing my blue sandals with the side buckle, so did he really think I'd want to kick a ball around?

He was put out that I said no, so I offered him some of my magazines to read. He said they were girls' comics, the cheeky bastard, just because they were about music and fashion and stuff like that. I told him that boys could be interested in clothes and music as much as girls, but he just made a funny noise. This was going really badly, so I suggested we watch some TV. There was a cute show on about some people who'd made a sort of babysitting club, but he made me switch that over so he could watch a stupid cartoon about robots. I left him to it, and read one of my magazines.

So we sat there like that for about half an hour. And he was so irritating! Every time one of the cartoon robots got really hurt, and sort of fell apart or anything, he sniggered to himself. It was gross, it really was! It sounded like he was about to drop a load of snot from his nose every time he laughed. I was totally disgusted, as you can imagine!

I was rescued when my cell rang. It was Kelly. She didn't want anything special, just to chat, which was good. Snot features, as I had started calling him to myself, went over and turned the telly up so I could hardly hear what Kelly was saying! I stood up, and walked out into the corridor, and we carried on our chat out there. Kelly can be really funny, and she was that day. Apparently John Carpenter, who is in the year above us, had shown his Willy to Mary Morgan in the park the night before! Gross! We had a good laugh about how small his Willy probably was, and whether it had fungus on it and stuff like that.

So by the time I went back into the bedroom, I was quite giddy from all that laughing. I'd almost forgotten about Snot Features, so I was really shocked to see him there, looking at the stuff on the table in front of my mirror. He wanted to know why I had so much girl's stuff. Like, what was wrong with him? He was sniffing one of my scent bottles, and saying it was a girl's perfume. I snatched it off him, and said it was unisex, and he was too stupid to tell the difference. He said that it smelt of flowers, which made it a girl's perfume, and then he wanted to know why I had so many nail varnishes. I told him it was none of his business, and told him to leave them alone. Honestly, these public school types know nothing, and I mean nothing, about fashion! Boys can wear nail varnish just as good as girls.

I turned my back on him, and was about to go back to reading my magazine, when he suddenly made a funny noise. I asked him what the matter was, but all he did was point at the back of my shorts. I had a look. My thong had ridden up a bit, and you could see it, but like so what? It was one of my better ones, with a little rhinestone diamond where the strings cross over. He was just so gross! If he got upset by seeing someone's thong, then, well, he just shouldn't look should he?

Well, like if it was possible, things got worse from then on. He said I was a fairy who wore girls stuff all the time. I told him he was a snotty little geek, who would never get a girlfriend because all girls hated him. He said I wanted to snog boys, and that's why I dressed like I did! As if! I told him he'd only said that because he wanted to snog me because he was a poof. He said I was the poof because I was wearing girl's knickers! I told him he was stupid, and that the only reason he thought they were girl's knickers was because he'd never seen a girl in her knickers, because all girls hated him! Then he said that the only reason girls showed me their knickers, was that they thought I was one of them! A girl that is, not a poof. Well I was so like angry with him that I just stepped right up to him and slapped him around the face!

Well like it wasn't really a hard slap, I'm not much of a fighter; I hate that sort of stuff. But you'd have think I'd hit him with a hammer or something. He just stared at me for a few seconds and then started screaming. Obviously both our mothers came upstairs, and there was yet another scene. Mum asked me why I'd hit him, and I told her it was because he was rude about my underwear! His Mum must have seen my thong as well because she said to my Mum that she shouldn't allow me to wear stuff like that. Well Mum got pretty cross as well, and to cut a long story short they were both sort of ushered out of the building pretty quickly. Good riddance to Snot Features, I thought to myself.

Mum gave me another lecture, which was just so embarrassing. She said that if I decided to wear girl's knickers, then I had to be careful about who saw them. I did tell her they were unisex, but she ignored me, and said that even girls had to be careful about showing their knickers and stuff like that. Then she asked me if thongs were really comfortable. Like she wears old people's knickers most of the time. I said they were really good, and she said she might try some. Maybe we could go shopping together, and stuff like that. I was a bit surprised, but at least we were still friends.

Getting rid of Snot Features was cool. It meant I had the rest of the day to myself. I decided to ring Jess and see what she was doing. She was at home, so I said I'd go round. Mum seemed a bit put out about this, I think she was looking for one of those parent child days, but I didn't let this put me off, and went over to Jess's as soon as I could.

When I got there I told her about John Carpenter and him showing his Willy. We had a real laugh about that, and Jess reminded me of the time when that old tramp in the park had flashed the five of us the summer before, like when we were only twelve! Like his Willy had been really gross, and it was all hard and up in the air when he'd dropped his trousers.

She told me that while I was being tortured by having to spend the morning with Snot Features, she'd gone shopping again. What was she like? She'd bought herself yet another dress. She had to be careful, being redheaded, when it came to colours. She'd picked out a really nice sleeveless one with a round neck in a sort of crimson. I wasn't sure that was the right shade for her, but I didn't say anything, because she seemed so pleased with it. Instead I told her it looked really good, and why didn't she try it on to show me.

She didn't take much persuading. You know what it's like when you've just bought something and you want your friends to see. It looked really good on her, much better than I'd imagined. I helped her tie her hair back, so she'd look even, like posher, in it, and she reminded me that I was supposed to be the posh one. That made us laugh as well.

Then she asked if I wanted to try it on. I said no, it was hers, but she said that I ought to try it on because it might suit me, and I could always get one myself if I liked it. I said we'd look silly wearing the same thing, like twins or something, but she kept going on at me. I sort of reminded her that even if I was going to be Posh Spice, I was still, like, a boy, and boys didn't really wear dresses. She said that was silly, and that I'd worn a dress the night before anyway, and that I was as good as any girl, and I should wear a dress if I wanted to.

I was still a bit doubtful, especially with all this they think of me as one of the girls stuff from Mum, but in the end I gave in, and put the dress on. I had to admit it looked fantastic on me, better than it did on her actually, but I didn't say that to her, it wouldn't have been nice. It was baggy at the front like the LBD from the night before, and Jess found me a bra to put on to fill it out a bit. That made it look even better, especially when we found some old socks to pad me out a bit. She tied my hair back for me into a sort of ponytail, and persuaded me to put a bit of make up on as well, just for the effect.

Her Mum came in then, which was a bit embarrassing! I mean, Jess was just standing around in her underwear, but her Mum seemed cool about it, and said it was a good idea for me to practice wearing dresses if I was going to be a good Posh Spice for the carnival. Then Jess had an idea. We could go round to see Anna with me wearing the dress! I knew Anna thought I looked cute sometimes when I wore sort of unisex tops and things, and I sort of wondered if she might like to see me in a dress again. She had said I looked really hot when we'd tried to get into that club, and I'd borrowed one of Jess's dresses. So I sort of agreed, but I said I should wear the LBD from the night before, and that Jess should wear her new one.

Jess's Mum said that my blue sandals didn't go with the black dress, which was a fair point, and she made me try on some of Jess's shoes. In the end I went with the pair we had decided the night before looked best. She also said I needed to change my makeup because Jess had done it to match the red dress. It felt a bit odd, but I agreed, and she did it differently for me. She's dead good at makeup, is Jess's Mum, especially for a wrinkly, and I was amazed when I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I looked just so much older. I just hoped that Anna would still think I looked cute.

Then we left. It felt odd to be dressed so posh in the middle of the afternoon, and we got some funny looks from people, which made us laugh. Halfway there, you'd never guess who we saw walking along the road. John Carpenter! We giggled so much we nearly wet ourselves, and to make it worse, he stopped to talk to us. He was really flirty too, which made us giggle even more. In the end Jess asked him if he was going out with Mary Morgan, and that made him look a bit embarrassed.

He started talking to me then, and said that he had always thought I was a boy. I didn't know what he was talking about, and he kept going on about me always wearing trousers to school. Well, like that's the uniform John, I thought to myself. Then I realised what he meant! Ooops, I was wearing a dress of course, and probably looked a bit like a girl, what with the bra and the makeup. I felt myself blushing, and told him we had to be going.

Jess thought it was hilarious that he had decided I was a girl, but I was a bit embarrassed. When we got back to school it could get really confusing after all, if he still thought that! She said he probably fancied me, but I told her that was ridiculous, because we were both boys, which made her laugh even more. She was still laughing when we got to Anna's place.

Anna's older sister opened the door. She's eighteen, and nearly as hot to look at as Anna. In fact they look very similar, except that Anna smiles a bit more. She looked us up and down, and I sort of thought, God, she thinks we're dressed really weirdly for the middle of the day, in posh dresses and things like that. She just shrugged, and let us through. She called up to Anna saying it was Jess and 'that boy', like I didn't have a name! But at least she didn't think I was a girl, I supposed, so I sort of forgave her.

My heart was like up in my mouth a bit when I heard Anna coming down the stairs. She hadn't seen me in this dress before, so I was a bit scared as to what she might think. I knew she wasn't one of those girls who think that boys shouldn't wear nice stuff, but she might still think this one didn't suit me. And, of course, she hadn't often seen me with this much makeup on.

Still, there was nothing for it. I had to wait for her to see what her reaction might be. I needn't have worried. She seemed to think I looked nice. She asked me to turn around a bit, so she could sort of see the full effect, and, well, I felt sort of naked knowing she was looking at me so closely. Then she noticed I had boobs for a change. She like stared at them for a few minutes, and I was like, well, maybe she doesn't like me with boobs. Then she grinned and said they suited me, and asked me and Jess what we had used. I told her, and she said they didn't look bad, which made me feel really good. Her sister came back and wanted to know why I was dressed like that. Well duh! Anna had already told her about the Spice Girls thing, so she should have guessed. She looked me all over as well, and I felt naked again, but she said I looked pretty much like the real thing, whatever that might have meant.

Anna took us through to the kitchen and we had some juice. I was a bit worried in case I spilt any on my dress, but I managed to do all right. Jess told her that John Carpenter fancied me, which was just so embarrassing! I hid my face in shame, but Anna just seemed to think it was funny. I was a bit upset that she wasn't jealous or anything, and I was about to go into a mood when she started looking at the top of my dress again, and saying how good I looked. Mental note to me; think about wearing a bra more often when Anna is around.

We went up to Anna's room, and had a good time listening to some music for a couple of hours. Then she said she was going to have a shower, and we should meet up again the day after. Fair enough. I was getting a bit tired, and thought I might as well go home. Then it struck me that I'd left my shorts over at Jess's place. I wondered whether I should go back and get them, but Jess said it was all right for me leave them there. And as for the dress, as I was going to wear it to the carnival anyway, I might as well take it then. She said she'd bring my shorts along when we'd decided what we were doing the next day.

I kissed her goodbye and walked back to my place with a smile on my face. As I got to my gate I saw Mr. Jackson, our next-door neighbour, in his garden. I said Hi, but he just stared at me, and shook his head. He's really weird you know. I opened the door and walked on through to tell Mum I was back.

Ooops, another mistake. I should have just run upstairs or something. Like she was the complete opposite to Anna. Where Anna had been dead pleased to see me with boobs, my Mum was totally shocked. Now I really did look like a girl, she said. Well I told her it wasn't really surprising was it? I was supposed to be Posh Spice, and she's a girl, but she didn't seem too impressed. Why was I wearing so much makeup? Well like Posh Spice doesn't, I asked.

Well it was worse than before. I should realise that I was a boy, and I shouldn't wear stuff like dresses. I told her that I did realise I was a boy, but she said a real boy wouldn't try and give himself boobs! Making me dress like this just proved that my friends thought of me as one of the girls. I tried telling her that they hadn't like made me dress like this at all; that I was happy enough with it, but that cut no ice at all. Then she started crying again, and said it was all her fault for splitting up with Dad, and me not having a proper male role model or something. All a bit heavy for me. I hugged her, and said she hadn't done anything wrong, and that I was really lucky having a Mum like her. That cheered her up a bit, which was a relief. She even looked me over, and said that the dress looked nice on me, which made me smile.

I told her I was going to have a bath, and she said that was okay. She opened herself a bottle of wine, and even offered me some! I said no, because I don't really like the taste. Then she said that maybe we could go shopping the day after, together like. I was a bit taken aback, but I agreed because she had been so upset. She hugged me and kissed me some more, before letting me get off for my bath and bed.

I had a really strange dream that night that I just have to tell you about as well! I was sort of stuck on this mountain, and Anna climbed up to rescue me. But instead of just taking me back down she started kissing and cuddling me. And I don't mean just kissing me on the cheeks and stuff, I mean proper kissing, like boys and girls do. It was weird. I mean, I'd never kissed Anna like that, or anybody else. Well actually that's not entirely true. Billie had kissed me once. She pushed her tongue right into my mouth. I didn't like it much because I couldn't breathe properly, but she said she had to do it because her football team had won, and if you played in a football match and won, you had to kiss someone afterwards or something. I didn't really know, because I never played football much – I don't like getting kicked on the legs and stuff like that, so I just let her kiss me for about ten minutes. She tried to put her hands down the front of my jeans as well, but I wouldn't let her do that, and in the end she went off home again.

Anyway in this dream about Anna I didn't stop her or say no or stuff like that. I just let her kiss me. It was strange too, because I was wearing a dress in the dream. Not the black one I had worn during the day, but a different one that I'd never even seen. It was sort of powdery blue and floaty, not the thing that you'd wear to climb a mountain in real life. And Anna said that to get down the mountain I had to hold this stick she was carrying. She lifted up my dress, and said I had to hold it between my legs. I remember that it was a bit uncomfortable, and kept sticking into me, but she said it was the only way to get down. That's about all I remember about the dream, but like I say, it was really weird.

Mum was just so nice to me in the morning! She brought me my breakfast in bed, and then started making plans for our shopping trip. She said we were going to splash out on each other, because we deserved it, whatever that meant, and asked me if there was anything I particularly wanted. Well there was tons of stuff, of course, but I wasn't sure that I should make her spend all her money on me, so I didn't say much. We got ourselves ready, and went into town really early in the car. She parked up in the big multi storey car park, and we went straight on through to the shops.

Mum didn't know her way around as well as me, so I was sort of in the lead. I was a bit cautious after the night before, in case she thought I knew more than I should about clothes shops, but she told me she was looking for some nice skirts, so in the end, I sort of accidentally managed to find a place I knew had some good ones in. She was just so enthusiastic about it! It was worse than shopping with Jess and Kelly! She wanted to try on virtually everything she saw, and grabbed herself an armful of skirts and told me to come off to the changing rooms with her.

Well like I was a bit surprised. I mean, I had been in girls' changing rooms before, with my mates, but I knew you were supposed to be discreet doing it if you were a boy. Normally if I thought I was going to want to try something on when I went shopping, I made sure I had my unisex pants on, and maybe a bit of eyeliner or something. Nobody normally batted an eyelid as long as I was careful. But that day, I didn't have any makeup on at all, which made me nervous.

Anyway, Mum had disappeared off to the back of the shop shouting at me to follow her, so I had to go ahead with it. I smiled at the assistant at the door, who gave me a knowing look about what over-enthusiastic Mum's could be like, but didn't try and stop me. Mum was already stripping off her trousers by the time I saw her. God, she can be so embarrassing sometimes! She tried on a simple black skirt first, which was all right, although it was a bit short. She asked me if it made her bum look too big, and I said no. Then she took it off, and tried on a really, and I mean really short blue floral mini. I didn't know where to look!

She twirled around in front of the mirror with it, and then said it was too young for her. God, that was a relief! At least she'd seen some sense. But then she threw it over to me, and said I should try it on. I flushed scarlet! I couldn't try on a skirt, could I? I mean, I was a boy for heavens sake! And to think she'd accused my friends of thinking I was one of the girls! I shook my head, but she kept on about it while she tried on the next one. There were three other girls about my age in there with us, and I didn't want to cause a fuss, so in the end I just gave in.

Talk about embarrassment! God, I went as red as a beetroot as I slipped my shorts off! Luckily, I hadn't gone totally 'I'm out with Mum, better wear really heavy boy stuff' that day, and I had a nice floral pair of pants on. I turned my back to the room to make sure no one could see me from the front, and stepped into the skirt. That felt odd too, because I wasn't used to wearing skirts, as you can imagine. Or at least I guess you could imagine if you are a boy, or maybe a girl who doesn't wear skirts like ever. I had tried on a skirt like once before, maybe twice, when Billie was really insistent about it, but it wasn't a habit. Anyway, I managed to get it fastened up, and decided I'd better have a look at myself in the mirror, just for show. I mean, there were other people in there like I said, and they would have thought it was odd if I hadn't.

I had a quick look and I suppose it didn't look too bad, and I was about to take it off again when Mum started shouting out about how good it looked. How nice and summery, and stuff like that. The other girls stared at us, which made me feel terrible, and Mum made me turn round and around in front of her, and then said I should buy it. What was she like? It was a skirt for heaven's sake! When was I ever going to wear a skirt? I told her no, and she eventually agreed, as long as we could think about coming back for it later. I was so relieved as I slipped my shorts back on, and waited for her to try on the last of her skirts. She didn't like any of them in the end, and handed them all to the assistant at the door, except the blue floral one. She told them to keep it on one side for me! The assistant smiled, and I went like bright red again.

Things weren't much better in the next shop, but realising what a strange mood Mum was in, I picked up a couple of nice tops on my own accord, which I thought would at least pre-empt her getting me to try on her cast offs! It worked well enough, but she did gush unnecessarily much about a cute pink sort of gypsy top I'd picked up. It looked good, but I didn't have a big enough bust to carry it off.

By the time we got to the fifth shop I was getting the hang of it. The crucial thing was to make sure I picked out something to try on, otherwise Mum tried to pick something for me. It wasn't a foolproof plan. In the fourth shop she found a floral skirt similar to the other one and made me try that on, but if I managed to find a couple of tops, or a nice pair of shorts, she generally left me on my own.

But the fifth shop was different. Mum disappeared off to find her usual clutch of skirts, while I wandered around looking at stuff. I knew I had a good few minutes before she would have gathered enough stuff up to be worth a trip to the changing rooms, so I just took my time. And then I saw it, hanging in a rack with some other ones, and looking even more gorgeous than I had imagined. It was the dress that I had dreamt about the night before. I was like, well, this is such a surprise, and I guess my mouth was probably open as I went over to get a closer look. It was crazy, like it had just slipped out of my dream and onto its hanger. I took it down off the rack, and had a good look at it. I was gobsmacked, totally gobsmacked. It really was exactly the dress I had been wearing in the dream. I held it up in front of me, and just stared at it in amazement. Maybe I'd seen it before, when I'd been shopping with my mates? But I really couldn't remember seeing it. I'm sure I would have remembered.

Then suddenly there was my Mum's voice shouting in my ear, telling me how lovely it was. I was a bit flustered, and, like, well I tried to put it back on its hanger, but my arms just wouldn't move. It really was just so lovely! Ooops, then Mum suggested I try it on. Well, I was like, no I couldn't. It wouldn't be right, I'd never wear it, and stuff like that. God, had she forgotten that I was a boy or something? But she kept going on about it. Luckily, or so I thought, the one I had picked up was a size 12, a bit big for me if you know what I mean, but she cottoned on to that fast enough, and found another one in a 10.

Well I was beginning to feel a bit boxed in as she handed to me. There were tons of other people in the shop, and I could hardly have just shouted, like, "Hello? I'm a boy remember Mum!" could I? And I have to admit it was a really cool dress, and I liked it. I sort of started thinking that maybe I could just try it on, I mean, it's not as if I was going to buy it or anything, because I wouldn't ever wear a dress would I? Not counting Jess's that I was going to wear to be Posh spice anyway. So in the end I just nodded, and carried the dress off to the back of the shop where the changing rooms were. I thought I'd just try it on, you know, to see what it looked like, and whether it felt as nice as it did in my dream, and then take it off again. But Mum shamed me again. Just as I was going through the door, and taking one of those token things from the girl, she shouted out that I had to come out and show her what it looked like. What was she like? The girl on the door smiled at me, but I was like, turning into a lobster I was blushing so much.

Still there wasn't much for it. I went in, and God, was it crowded in there! Millions of girls my age and upwards were stripping and standing in front of the mirrors. I had trouble finding a spot to use, and in the end had to stand, like, really close to this girl who was about eighteen or so. She moved her stuff over, and then smiled and asked if the dress was for a party or something. I just smiled as best as I could in reply.

As I took my top off I really wished that I'd worn a bra that day. I mean, I don't really need one, but I felt dead self-conscious stripping off and not having one on. I was sure the eighteen year old would notice that I had a chest like a boy's, but she didn't. She just tried on her skirt, and paid no attention, which was a relief. I decided to keep my shorts on. I mean, I was wearing unisex knickers, so that wasn't a problem in itself, but I felt really nervous that someone would notice I had a Willy. I know it was silly, it's not that big or anything, and I guess girls don't really look for that sort of thing in changing rooms, but there you are; I decided to keep my shorts on.

I picked up the dress, and I was so nervous that my legs were shaking as I stepped into it. I really thought everyone else in there would notice I was scared, but they just carried on, as I slipped it upwards. Then I forgot about all of them, because, well, the dress was just so good! It was sort of satiny, and it felt really great against me, because, well, I'd never worn anything so posh before. When we were little, Jess had a satin princess dress, and I'd tried that on once, but this was so much better! It took my breath away, and I was still shaking when I went over to the mirror to have a look. I was so, like, taken up with it, that I forgot about the eighteen year old, and nearly pushed her out of the way in my rush.

I bumped into her, and said sorry as you do. I thought for a minute she might thump me because she looked so vexed about it, but then she smiled again, and asked me if I wanted her to do it up for me. Gulp! I nodded, and she fastened the zip up on the back. I looked in the mirror again, and loved it even more. The only trouble was, now I really wished I'd worn a bra. It looked all wrong at the front, however much I fussed around with the neck. I wondered if I could come back to town later in the week with a bra on, so I could see what it would look like properly, because it really did look good apart from at the bust. The eighteen year old muttered that I looked really pretty as she left, and I smiled at her. I turned around a few times. It really was a fantastic dress, and it felt so good, but what with the bra problem, and me being a boy and not being able to wear dresses very often, I decided that I'd just take it off.

It was then I realised I was stuck. I put my hands up my back as far as they would go, but I couldn't get to the bit where the zip stopped, and the hook bit came across. You probably know what I'm talking about if you've ever tried one of these fancy dresses on. I tried putting my hands backwards, you know, over my shoulders, but that just hurt. Talk about embarrassing! I was now stuck in this dress in the middle of the girls' changing rooms, and there was no way out of it. I wondered whether I could ask one of the other girls in there to help me, but then I heard my Mum shouting from outside, asking if I was ready to show her what it looked like. I didn't really want to. I mean, who likes their Mum looking at them in a new dress? Well, especially when you're a boy I mean. But I couldn't easily see any other way of getting it undone. I had a quick look around the changing room, but nobody seemed all that bothered, so I just gathered up the hem a bit so I could walk properly, and went back outside.

The girl on the door saw me first, and went totally over the top about it. She said how gorgeous it was, and how I'd get all the boys in it. Like I really would want to get boys – not ! I know she was supposed to get me to buy stuff from her shop by saying stuff like that, but she was going well too far with it. But to make matters worse Mum came running over and gushing at me about it as well. She made me turn around and around, like one of those ice skaters or something, and I felt truly shamed. It was awful.

Then she started fussing about with the hem – to make it hang right so she said. I tried to get her to stop, but she was having none of it. She asked me if I liked it, and, well, because we were in the shop, with like all these other people staring at us, I said yes, but that it didn't fit properly around the top. She came over to look, to see what I was talking about. Now that was really bad I can tell you, having your Mum coming over to look at your cleavage! Then the assistant put her pennyworth in, and said it would be all right if I 'cheated' a little! Well I mean, cheat a little! I knew what that meant because Kelly and Jess used to do that before they got big. I was about to say no, when Mum said it was a good idea!

The girl on the door then said, like, that they had a range of bras for the Junior Miss that might help. Like I didn't know? Me and the girls often came into this shop, and I knew what underwear they had, even if I'd only ever bought knickers from there. I was, like, shaking my head, but Mum took off to go and get one, and I was left standing by the changing room door in this dress! She took a lot longer than she had to, and this other woman came over and told me how pretty I looked, and how she wished she could convince her daughter to dress up as a proper lady. The girl on the door agreed with her, and they said that it was a shame that so many girls just wore jeans all the time, and how it was good that I was happy to wear a dress.

Then Mum came back carrying a package, and, like I could guess what was in it. I kept saying no, I didn't want to try it on, but she just shoved me back into the changing room. There were still other girls in there, so it was just totally grim when she took down the top of my dress, and made me lift my arms to put the bra on. I mean, how many people my age need their Mum's help to get dressed? Once it was on, and the dress was done up again, I had to admit though, it was an improvement. It wasn't like the other bras I'd worn. It was what was called 'gently padded' on the packet. That meant that even if you had no boobs like me, it made you look quite well stacked.

I looked at myself in the mirror, as you do, while Mum embarrassed me even more by still fussing with the dress, pulling and tugging at it. It was odd though. With the pretend boobs, I looked even more like I had in my dream, and I wondered if Anna really would like me as much in real life as she had then. Suddenly Mum said I had to take it off. I was, like, what now? And she said yes, and undid the back for me. She took it, and put it back on the hanger, and then I took the bra off as well because we hadn't paid for it. I was slow getting back dressed, because I was still thinking about the dress. Mum got bored waiting for me, and took the stuff outside. If I had been a girl, I would have really wanted it, that's for sure. I sort of wondered if there were any times I could have worn it anyway, even, like, you know, being a boy, but I couldn't think of any. So I was a bit sad when I put my top back on.

The girl on the door was all smiles and friendly when I came out, but I couldn't see Mum anywhere. I sort of figured she'd probably gone off to look for more skirts, but then I saw her, over by the checkout! Like, she was buying the dress and the bra! Well I was over there as quick as I could. I mean, my Mum was trying to buy me a dress for God's sake, what would you have done? I told her I didn't want it, but she just blanked me, and handed over the plastic. It was terrible. Apart from anything else it cost nearly one hundred pounds! We didn't have that sort of money, what was she thinking of?

But it was no use. She signed the slip, and the dress was mine. She handed me the bag, all smiles, and I just had to take it. I couldn't say anything as we walked out of the shop, but once we were in the mall, I like said to Mum, what are you thinking of? You've just spent one hundred pounds on a dress for me! She just smiled, and said it was worth it because she knew I liked it so much. Then she said she was sorry for all that stuff before about my friends thinking I was one of the girls, and that this was a sort of present to make up for that. I was well confused by it all, I have to say, and she was sobbing, which was embarrassing.

Anyway that was it for the shopping trip. She decided that we should go home then, so, like, the only things we had actually bought were the blue dress and the bra. She hadn't got a single thing for herself, and I felt well guilty about that on the drive home. Anna called on my mobile. She wanted to know what I was doing. Well, I didn't really want to tell her, but I said she could call round in about half an hour, because Mum and me would be back by then.

We got in, and I carried the dress upstairs to my room while Mum made herself a cup of tea. She always drinks tea, not coffee, unless she's having wine, and she only does that in the evenings. I put the bag on the bed, and sort of wondered whether I should get it out to have a look at, but I thought that as I couldn't put it on, there wasn't much point, so I didn't. Anyway, I heard the doorbell ring. I knew it would be Anna, so I ran downstairs to open it before Mum did, and let her in. She looked really good – as always – with a nice pair of jeans on, and a spaghetti strap top in yellow, which I really liked. I was about to take her upstairs so we could listen to some CDs and stuff when Mum comes out of the kitchen, and starts being all chatty with us. Me and Anna looked at each other, but, like, she's not a bit shy with other people's parents, so she chatted back about school and stuff.

Then Mum dropped me in it. She told Anna we'd been shopping, and worse than that, that I'd bought something special. She didn't say what it was, but you could tell by the way Anna was looking at me that she wanted to know. I didn't blame her, like, because it's only polite when somebody's bought something, but I was really embarrassed. Then Mum was like, why not try it on so Anna can see? And Anna's like, well, that she really wanted to see whatever it was, and I was like all flustered, and wishing Mum would shut up. Oh God it was awful! I didn't know what to do. They were both there looking at me, waiting for me to go upstairs and try the dress on, and I would have looked a right nerd if I said anything like I didn't want to try on this 'new thing' that I'd bought.

Well in the end I decided I had to do it. Anna's all right, like I said, and she wouldn't think bad things about me just because I had bought a dress. So I went up, and took it out of its bag. It really did look like the one in the dream, and I sort of secretly hoped that Anna would like it as much as she had then. I put the bra on first, because I remembered that it looked daft without me having any boobs, and this time, I took my shorts off as well. I stepped into the dress, and pulled it up, then did the zip up as best as I could. I still couldn't fix the hook at the top, but, as I looked at myself in the mirror, I guessed I would do.

I was a bit scared coming down the stairs. In fact I nearly tripped on the hem, and had to grab the banister to stop going arse over tit down them. Well, I sort of stopped to pull myself together, and then carried on. I was quite surprised when they weren't at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me, but I guess I had taken a bit of time. I could hear their voices in the kitchen, so I headed off there.

Anna saw me first, and she was, like, well, her mouth sort of fell open, and she put her hands up in front of it. I was really scared now, in case she didn't like it or something, but she just seemed totally gobsmacked. She sort of walked over to me, and stood right in front of me, and it made me feel really odd, with her looking at me like that. I liked it in a way, but it made me feel quite sort of vulnerable. Mum said I had to turn around so Anna could see all of it, so I did, and Anna made a sort of squeaking noise, and just kept saying beautiful, which made me blush a bit.

After a while, I sort of said maybe we should go up to my room to listen to my new CD, and Anna nodded a lot about that. Mum was smiling, and me and Anna went up. She closed the door behind us, because we didn't want Mum to hear too much noise, and I was about to put the CD on, when she grabbed hold of my arm, and made me turn to face her.

Well I'm sure I told you Anna's taller than me, so I felt a bit strange looking at her chin as she pulled me towards her. Then she did it. She kissed me, just like she did in my dream. It was weird that I had dreamed that, and then it happened. It felt really good though, and she kept pushing her tongue into my mouth, and I wondered if she would make me choke or something. But she didn't, she just kept running it around and around my mouth, and stroking my hair. It was a lot better than when Billie had done it, so I reckon Anna's probably a better snogger than her. Anyway, I always liked Anna better, so maybe that's why it felt better as well.

So, like that was two days ago, and since then me and Anna have been going out, you know, properly, like boyfriend and girlfriend sort of stuff. We haven't told the others yet, because, well, we don't want to change anything, or make them feel like gooseberries or anything like that. She says she wants me to wear a skirt or a dress whenever we go out, because I look good in them, and anyway, one of us should wear a skirt, and she doesn't like them. And I know she likes me better when I wear a bra, so I do that as well when we're on a date. I think we might end up getting married or something, eventually, if we don't argue too much like Mum and Dad used to.

Oh and another thing! Me going out with Anna really let me show Mum that they don't think I'm one of the girls like she said they did. I told her that when me and Anna were going for a walk last night, but she just smiled, and said I looked really good in that pink mini skirt I'd borrowed off Jess.

  

  

  

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