No Half Measures

by Jenny Walker

© 2003

 

CHAPTER 3

 

Saturday morning started out as a crisp, clear late autumn day: frost on the ground and pale sunshine with a clear blue sky. We were on the road by just after 9 am as we had about a 5 hour journey ahead of us. Julie drove a 5 series BMW. She said it wasn't for the status, but more because it was to appease client expectations, give them confidence or something. Sure Jools.

We had managed to fit in all my music equipment and Jools' suitcases. Rather disconcertingly we hadn't packed any clothes or belongings for me. I understood why, but it sort of brought the finality of things home to me. At least with it being a Saturday the hateful London traffic was less than usual. It was never absent, but relatively speaking, the roads were quiet. Before long we were outside the perimeter of the M25 and heading down the A30 dual carriageway. We hadn't talked much so far as we were both still in the process of waking up completely.

"So have you decided yet?" Jools asked.

"Huh?" I replied intelligently.

"A name," she said in a tone that indicated that I should obviously have known what she was asking me.

"Yes," I said a little hesitantly.

"Well?" she said impatiently, "Don't keep me in suspense."

I shrugged somewhat shyly, "Well I don't know if you'll like it or not…"

"Pfffft!" she said, or something that sounded like that, "It's more important that you like it, now come on, out with it."

"OK," I sighed, "it's Cara Malone."

She smiled, "Cara Malone?" She pondered and nodded slowly before repeating, "Cara Malone. I like it."

I looked over at her uncertainly, "You sure?"

"Definitely, it's classy, feminine and distinctive. Where did you get that from?"

I laughed a little, "To be honest, I don't really know. I've just been thinking about it over and over the past few days and when I woke up yesterday morning, it sort of just popped into my head. I liked it."

"Alright Cara, we have a name then."

I felt myself blush a little as she called me by the new name. "That feels so strange," I murmured.

She giggled, "I thought it might, but seriously, from now on you have to be so conditioned to respond to Cara that you don't think about it. And the reverse: you don't respond to Nick."

I nodded. Of course she was right. As the journey progressed we chatted about this and that. Reminiscences, friends, music. She continued to refer to me as Cara as much as she could and after a while I didn't feel just so uncomfortable with it. I think I would have found it easier if, well if I looked more like a Cara. But I guessed that would come before much longer.

We stopped for coffee just outside Salisbury and again for lunch on the far side of Exeter. I didn't have much of an appetite. Excitement or nerves? I wasn't quite sure which. We had about another hour to drive.

"OK, the list," Jools said.

I grinned. She had this habit of talking as if I really should know what she meant when I had no clue. "The list?" I asked.

"Yes. The list of who knows."

"Of who knows?"

She sighed, "Yes c'mon Cara, keep with it. The list of people who know about you."

I think I caught her drift, "Ah I see. Well it's you and me isn't it."

She nodded, "Yes. I think we need to guard the list carefully."

I puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"I think we need to think very seriously before ever adding anyone to the list. And no-one gets added to the list without us discussing it and agreeing it. You agree?"

"I guess," I replied, "But who else are we ever going to add to the list?" As I asked it, I realised some of the answers and continued, "Oh right. Like my folks and so on." I grimaced.

"Yes, but we can cross those bridges if and when we come to them. However there is one person I want to add to the list a lot sooner than that. In fact very soon."

I was intrigued, "How soon? And who?"

"Well," she checked the time, "In about 45 minutes. And it's Beth, my sister."

"Beth," I said slowly and thoughtfully. Beth Carstairs was Julie's younger sister. Two years younger if I remembered correctly which put her about 25 years old. I had met her once or twice when she was up visiting Jools in London but didn't really know her at all.

"Umm why do we have to add her? Does she live at your parents' home?"

"Well yes she does, but that's only one of the reasons we should add her," Jools replied. She went on to ask, "Do you know what Beth does?"

I racked my brain. I may have been told before but couldn't remember. "No sorry, I can't remember."

Jools looked over at me and gave me one of those smiles which always made me nervous. "Well Cara, she sort of runs her own business in Plymouth."

I knew she was dragging this out but I played along, "What's her business?"

"She owns a salon."

"A salon?" I asked, "What sort of salon?" I had a fair idea and knew where this was likely to be heading.

"She runs a beauty salon. And she's pretty darned good at it too."

If she was anything like as determined as her older sister, I could well believe that. "I see," I replied.

"You do?" Jools asked.

I nodded, "Well, I need to become Cara in many ways. And I imagine Beth has certain…skills, which would be helpful to that end."

She grinned at me, "You're very understanding. But you are right and I think Beth will be invaluable to us. Err, you know how I said earlier about us discussing and agreeing together before adding someone else to the list?" She sounded a little tentative.

"You've already told Beth," I said matter-of-factly.

"Yes," she replied guiltily. "Are you annoyed?"

I shrugged. I wasn't so why pretend to be. "No, it's fine." I looked at her watching me worriedly so I smiled, "It's fine, really."

She smiled looking somewhat relieved. "It's just I had to tell her in advance to make sure she can help this afternoon."

"Go on," I said, "this afternoon?"

"Yes, I figured that we shouldn't delay your 'conversion' into Cara. Minimise the chances of anyone down here seeing you as you are now. No point wasting time, we may as well get on with it. So anyways, the salon closes at lunchtime on Saturdays but Beth is going to stay behind and meet us there. There'll be no-one else there and she can work her magic on you. I've got her to get a few things that we will need."

I just smiled, "Jools, it's as well I trust you and I'm glad you are my friend. I sure wouldn't want you for an enemy."

I think she almost blushed which would be a first, "Oh you," she said dismissively and returned her full attention to the road ahead. We were nearing the outskirts of Plymouth and I felt the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach grow stronger the closer we got.

 

----------*----------

 

"La Belle Femme" was on a relatively quiet side-street off Mayflower Street in Plymouth town centre. Jools pulled up right outside and illegally parked.

"Can you leave the car here?" I asked.

"Not really," she grinned, "but I won't be leaving it too long so it'll be Ok."

"You aren't?" I puzzled, "I thought we would be here for some time?"

She laughed, "Oh you and Beth will be, but I was going to head out to Silsbury Manor and get some things unpacked."

"Silsbury manor," I pondered, "that's your parents' home?"

She nodded and I raised my eyebrows wondering what to expect. But then I refocused, "Hold on, so you are leaving me here alone with Beth?"

She looked at me with a little smile, "She won't bite you know."

I shrugged awkwardly, "I know, but well it's just sort of weird enough let alone being with someone I don't know while undergoing…" I searched for words, "well my transformation."

Julie squeezed my arm, "Trust me, you'll get on fine with Beth. Plus I think it will be good for you two to get to know each other. Beth will be helping us a fair bit over the next few weeks."

I sighed and grinned ruefully, "Alright, guess I'll have to trust you. Yet again."

We got out of the car and Jools knocked on the door of the salon. The blinds were down but it wasn't long before the door opened and there was Beth. She gave Jools a big hug, "Heya big sis, good to see you."

"You too," laughed Jools returning the hug.

We stepped inside and Beth turned to me and a little shyly said, "Hi, you must be Nick." She went as if to shake my hand but then shrugged and reached up and gave me a little hug.

Jools grinned, and looking at me said, "Oh it's not Nick anymore, sure it's not?"

I grimaced a little but forced a faint smile and turned to Beth, "No it's not Nick anymore, I'm…Cara Malone."

She smirked, not unpleasantly, "Well hi Cara, it's great to meet you. Jools has filled me in on most of the details and I think you're extremely brave to give this a go."

I half-laughed, half-snorted, "Or maybe it's extremely foolish I'm not quite sure."

I noticed Beth staring at me, she seemed to be appraising me, "Oh I don't know," she mused, "I'd say you have great potential."

I blushed and didn't quite know what to say and thankfully Jools stepped in, "Right, how about getting things kicked off, there's lots to do."

"Yes you're right," Beth said. "Alright Ni…Cara, do you want to pop into this cubicle here and change out of these boring clothes and put on the items you'll find in there?"

I figured the question was rhetorical so I just smiled and nodded before heading into the cubicle. I wasn't sure what I would find there, but it was just a simple white robe. Oh and then I noticed the skimpy black nylon panties on the chair. Well, I thought to myself, this is what I'm here for. So I pulled off my shoes, socks, T-shirt, jeans and boxer shorts. I slipped on the panties and again noted to myself the lack of unpleasant sensations on doing so. I think that was as much as I could bring myself to admit at the moment. I wrapped the robe around me. It came to around my knees. I gathered up my clothes in my arms and stepped outside.

Jools smiled at me, "Want me to take those?" she offered.

"Err OK," I replied, "what are you going to do with them?"

She smiled gently at me, "What do you think I should do with them Cara?"

I swallowed and then nodded, "I guess you should just get rid of them somewhere." I paused, "I'll not be needing them again I guess."

She smiled and gave me a little peck on the cheek as she took the clothes from me, "I'll see you both later and I think you'll be looking quite different Cara by the time I get back." She headed for the door and turning to Beth before she left, "Give me a ring on my mobile when you are nearly done and I'll scoot back over. Have fun you girls!"

She went out, got back into her car and drove off. I looked at Beth and she smiled at me. "Are you ready?" she asked gently. I grinned and nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be I guess."

She grinned back, "OK, well first things first. Body hair. Or rather getting rid of it more like."

I smiled wryly, "Shouldn't be too big a job, I'm not exactly what you'd call the hairiest."

She nodded, "Good, but we still need to get things right, from now on it's hairlessness we need. What I was planning was to do a full all-over body wax if that's Ok."

I shrugged, "Erm I guess. I'm thinking it will be painful, but you know best."

She nodded and smiled apologetically, "It will be painful I am afraid, but it will give good lasting results. Far better than shaving, and actually less longterm skin irritation compared with most depilatory preparations."

"Ok then," I said trying to sound brave, "Let's get started."

She brought me over to a couch, "Now Cara, you'll need to remove your robe for this."

I nodded and removed the robe feeling more than a little embarrassed as I climbed up onto the couch. She began with my legs and spread hot wax onto the front surfaces of them. It actually felt quite nice and soothing. That was until she started to strip the wax off. It felt like she was tearing my skin off. It brought tears to my eyes and took all my self-control to stop myself from crying out or reaching down to stop her. She smiled up at me sympathetically but carried on as quickly as she could. Then she had me roll over and repeated the process on the backs of my legs. When she finished that, it felt as if my legs were on fire. But there was more to come. The same procedure was repeated on my arms. She took a razor to my armpits as she explained that waxing would be too painful. I found it hard to imagine it being any more painful than it had been thus far so I was grateful. I had very little back and chest hair and I was glad. The removal of what little I had was nigh on excruciating.

"Darn," I muttered through gritted teeth, "I hope I don't have to get this done too often."

She looked at me and smiled, "We can think about other techniques that would have…more lasting effect for next time." She paused and looked a bit uncomfortable, "Cara…this is a little bit delicate. But…well, as we will be trying to minimise any 'bulge' down there," she indicated my groin region, "it might be an idea to remove the hair from there." She looked embarrassed herself.

I nodded and said slowly, "Err alright. You want me to remove my panties?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Only if you are comfortable enough with this."

I laughed a little at that, "I wouldn't call it comfortable, but it's fine." I slipped them off and felt very vulnerable lying there. Beth took the razor and gently and gingerly began to shave. After a few minutes she looked up and said, "Sorry but I'm going to have to…" and she lifted my privates to shave around and below. I exerted all the willpower I could, but couldn't help from preventing some stirring in that region. Beth was a very attractive woman. She was petite and slim with long auburn hair.

"I'm really sorry Beth," I murmured feeling mortified.

"Don't be," she reassured, "I'm basically done. You want to slip your panties back on?"

I can safely say I was never as glad to pull on a pair of skimpy black panties as I was then. I was now hairless from my neck down. She then explained that she was going to rub in some moisturiser to minimise any skin irritation. This was the nice part as she massaged the cool cream into my skin all over. I lay back and closed my eyes and relished in the soothing sensations. I was almost disappointed when she was finished.

"Right. Hair," she said brightly as she gestured towards the washbasin. I sat down in the chair in front and laid my head back onto the shaped edge of the basin. She began to rinse with steaming hot water and I closed my eyes enjoying the relaxing feeling. Shampoo, conditioner and dear knows what else, then another good rinse and she was done.

"Your hair is lovely and soft," she said, "But it could be in better condition. Don't you look after it?" She almost sounded accusing.

"Erm, well no not really. Sorry."

I think she must have seen the look of guilt in my eyes, she laughed, "Sorry I didn't mean to get heavy-handed, but from now on you are going to have to look after it much better."

I nodded, "Sure" as she began to comb it out. She lightly dried it off with a hairdryer before stopping and sitting down in front of me. She smiled at me, "How do you feel about hair extensions?"

"Umm hair extensions?" I said not knowing how I felt about them at all.

"Yes, hair extensions. Your hair is of reasonable length, but I think it would look so much better if it came down to about here," she gestured to just below my shoulder blades. "I'm pretty sure I'll have an exact match here and trust me, no-one will spot the fact that they are extensions. It'll be as real as your own hair."

I shrugged and felt my heart quicken. The pace of all this was accelerating but then I knew it would have to. I forced a smile, "Sure. No half measures eh?"

She grinned, "I know Jools told me you were willing to go all out for this, but I just want to check each step of the way."

"Thanks," I said softly and I meant it.

She came back with a few different shades of hair extensions and finding one that matched mine exactly, began to weave them in. It took quite some time and I just closed my eyes and let her get on with it. Once done, she brushed vigorously through my hair and nodded, "There we go, impossible to tell. Now for a bit of style. I was going to give you a permawave if that's alright."

I laughed, "It's fine, but you'll have to tell me what it is first."

She laughed too, "I keep forgetting that you are not one of my regular customers and that you don't understand the lingo. A permawave is somewhere between a perm, and a little waviness in your hair. So it won't be totally curly, but it has more body than just a little wave in your hair. Ok?"

I nodded and grinned, "Sure, fire away. I'm in your hands."

She weaved my hair in and out of what looked like long rollers. It wasn't as tightly wound as the other day when Jools did it. Then she sprayed something strong smelling over my hair and placed what looked like a large shower cap over my hair. "Ok, we leave that for about half an hour, then rinse your hair and get you on the dryer."

"What's next then boss?" I asked.

She grinned, "Well I was wondering what you think about your facial hair."

I smiled lamely, "There isn't much to wonder about. I haven't shaved for 2 days now on Jool's instructions and as you can see, there isn't much to write home about."

She nodded, "That's probably a good thing." She paused and began hesitantly, "How would you feel about permanent removal of facial hair?"

I paused and whilst initially reacting against such a suggestion, realised that it made little difference. "Well, I guess I'm never planning on growing much of a beard no matter what the future holds. So, in that case, I guess I'm open to suggestions."

She nodded, "I can give you a number of electrolysis treatments over the next few weeks which will essentially effect permanent loss of facial hair. Think about it, no more shaving!"

I smiled cautiously, "I can see the advantages."

"And because you don't have much in the way of facial hair, the treatments will be mild, should be effective, and without side-effects. So what do you think?"

I shrugged, "Go for it I guess."

She got her kit and began to work on my face applying a small electrical current to each hair for about 15 seconds. It took about half an hour or so before she was done. She rubbed a hand over my face and smiled, "Baby smooth."

I smiled, I didn't quite know how to react. She continued, "I'll repeat this once a week or so over the next month and depending on how well we get on, we may need a repeat treatment once a month or so. Or we may not."

She brought me back over to the sink and, removing the cap, rinsed the foul smelling stuff out of my hair. She put the rollers back in again and then sat me down under one of those big hair-dryer helmet things. "About half an hour here to dry. Whilst your hair is drying, I was thinking I could work on your nails."

"My nails?" I asked

"Yes. I could paint your toenails and then give you a new set of fingernails."

"Umm, why bother paint my toenails, and what do you mean a new set of fingernails?"

She smiled patiently, "Why the toenails?" She shrugged, "It's part of the overall effect I guess. No-one sees them often, but you do and it conditions you in a small way perhaps. By a new set of fingernails I basically mean a set of acrylic nails which are essentially glued on over yours. They look perfect, they are hard, durable and stylishly feminine."

I shrugged, "Well OK I guess."

She began to paint my toenails a deep reddish brown colour explaining that she felt it fitted in well with my natural colouring. After a few coats I was sitting there with bits of cotton wool between my toes to keep them apart whilst drying. She got a set of nails and after measuring a few against my fingers she decided on the right size. "How long do you want them to be?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said wrinkling my brow, "What do you think?"

She shrugged, "You can have them as long as you like, up to an inch if you wanted."

I screwed up my face, "No, that wouldn't do. It'd affect my guitar and piano playing." I pondered, "Although a little bit of length would help my guitar finger picking I guess. How about this long or so?" I asked indicating a distance of about 3 or 4 millimetres.

"Great!" she said, "Now what about colour?" Seeing the familiar blank look on my face she laughed, "You can have them clear like ordinary unpainted nails, but to be honest, then you have the hassle of having to paint them. You can get them coloured and then you don't have to worry about painting them, but if you want to, you can paint another colour over them. Now make sure you realise, once these are on, they are on until they grow out basically."

I felt a little overwhelmed and just asked her to do what she thought was best. She selected a dark reddish-brown colour and began her work. I rested back under the dryer and I think with the warmth I must have drifted off. She gently shook me, "Come on sleeping beauty. There's more to be doing," she chuckled.

I blinked a few times as I felt a little disorientated and went to rub my eyes and scratched myself, "Ow," I complained. I looked down at my hands and saw my new nails. I was awestruck. I stretched out my fingers and looked at them one way, then another.

"Beautiful aren't they?" murmured Beth.

"Yes," I said without thinking. "Umm, that is, they make my hands look slimmer and more…"

"Feminine?" she prompted. I grinned and shrugged awkwardly.

Placing the cap back on over my dry hair and leaving the rollers in place she brought me back into what looked like a dressing room. "Now," she said. "I've got something special for you in this box."

She opened the box and lifted two familiar shaped objects out of them. They were obviously breast forms. "These are very special, state of the art stuff," she told me, "Finest silicon forms with a synthetic latex covering that is the closest to mocking natural skin I've seen. They don't come cheap, but Jools insisted we cut no corners in this area."

I looked at them, "They look quite big."

She smiled and shrugged, "Jools thought that as you are trying to make an impact with your music and your image why would you want to skimp in this area."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now, I've got some medical adhesive here," she demonstrated. "Pasting this onto your chest and the underside of the breasts will ensure they stay in place and move appropriately. I think it lasts for about a month at a time." Walking towards me, she raised her eyebrows, "Shall I?"

I nodded and swallowed. "Sure," I croaked.

She applied the adhesive and then held the breast forms onto my chest making sure the positioning was perfect. She held them firm for about 5 minutes before letting go. The feeling was one of the strangest feelings I have ever had. I felt unbalanced and the sensation of movement in front of me did not feel right at all.

"Well?" she asked, "How do they feel?"

"I – I don't know," I stammered, "It's sort of weird."

"Feel them," she encouraged.

I lifted my hands and cupped my breasts. They felt pretty real. I raised my eyebrows. Beth noticed.

"Good aren't they?" she asked with a smile.

I nodded, "They feel very realistic."

"They look it too, even without a bra or anything. Look," she gestured to a mirror. She was right, they did look very real. They didn't quite match my skin tone but apart from that, they looked like the real McCoy.

The next step was another corset and it was just like the other day as she laced me in tight. It had the effect of constricting my waist down as before, but also pushed my breasts up and out more.

"Beth?" I asked, "What size are these breasts just out of interest?"

She smiled, "D cup."

I rolled my eyes, "Did you have to get such…big ones?"

She laughed, "No half measures, remember? And sure, the guys will love it."

My face felt as if it was burning and I felt as if I had been hit in the stomach. The guys? To be perfectly honest, I really hadn't considered the prospect of interacting with guys as a woman. Or the effect I might have on them. It was very disconcerting. I was distracted from thinking about it further as Beth handed me a small flesh coloured garment.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's a gaff," she explained. "It's to help hide any bulges, you know, down below. I'll turn away and you can slip it on and put your panties back on. If you need any help, just ask." She winked mischievously.

I worked out how it went on and as I pulled it up and on tight, it had the desired effect. I replaced my panties and told Beth I was ready. Next she handed me a pair of stockings and having watched how Jools had put them on me the other day, I was able to do it reasonably well myself. Beth seemed impressed. I clipped them onto the suspenders at the bottom of my corset and stood up waiting for what was to come.

"Here you go Cara," she smiled, "Your first dress." She handed me a little black dress and I took it and looked at it. My first dress. I gathered that it was meant to go on over my head, there was no zip or anything so I shrugged and slipped it on. I pulled it down, straightened it and made sure it fit well around my breasts and then I tugged the hem down. It was long-sleeved, form fitting and came to just above my knees. Again I had to admit to myself that wearing a dress and stockings didn't feel unpleasant. In fact, the sensation of stockings on my recently waxed, now smooth legs was quite exquisite. I was glad I didn't have to admit this out loud though.

"Nice," mused Beth. "Now for some shoes." She handed me a pair of shiny black shoes. They had a 2 inch or so heel and I slipped them on. Of course they fit perfectly. The Carstairs girls didn't seem to get much wrong.

She brought me over to a make up chair, which wasn't facing a mirror and I sat down. She looked at my face, "Your eyes are a strong feature. So deep and brown, we'll be able to bring them out nicely." She began by rubbing moisturiser into my face and a similar procedure followed like the other day with foundation being added shortly afterwards and setting powder.

"Eyebrows," she said.

"What about them?" I asked having a suspicion as to what was coming.

"I was going to pluck them to make them look more feminine if that's OK?" she asked.

"Work away," I said, "That's what I'm here for."

It was painful and brought tears to my eyes. She plucked, plucked and plucked until was sure I had no eyebrows left. At last she was satisfied and sat back and smiled. "There, that looks much better." She began to apply eye-liner and several shades of eye shadow before coating my lashes with mascara. Again some rouge and then lipstick. She chose a rich red-brown colour and carefully painted my lips and then added some gloss.

She sprayed me with some perfume and winked, "Jools said to ensure the whole experience was given." I snorted.

"Oh," she said, "I almost forgot." She went and brought a box over from the bench, "Jools and I got you this as a little sort of starting out present." She smiled shyly.

"What is it?" I smiled curiously.

"Open it," she urged.

I opened the box and inside was a jewellery set. Gold. Not cheap looking. I looked up, "Wow. This looks…lovely."

She smiled and lifted out a medium sized gold chain and fixed it around my neck. I picked out a gold watch, "Really lovely," I mused as I slipped it on my left wrist. She placed a thin gold chain on my right wrist. There were two rings in the box, one went on the ring finger of my right hand, and the other on the third finger of my left hand. All that remained in the box was a pair of gold hoop earrings. I lifted them out and soon realised that they weren't clip-ons.

"Umm, these aren't clip-ons," I said stating the obvious. "They are for pierced ears." I looked up at Beth.

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, well they came as part of the set, sorry."

I paused and thought. I looked up at her again. I took a deep breath and swallowed again. "Err, well I suppose…well it might be an idea…" I swallowed and continued, "It might be an idea to get my ears pierced…?" my voice trailed off and I added, "what do you think?"

She smiled and squeezed my arm. "Jools and I both think so, but we didn't want to force you into anything. But yes, if you are going for this all out, then it probably does make sense."

I nodded and fingered the gold hoops in my hands. They were really lovely. I nodded and chewed my lower lip for a moment before speaking, "OK, yes. Can you do it?"

She smiled, "Sure I can. Now do you want to put those hoops in now or studs? It will take about 4 weeks before the holes are healed and you can change earrings."

"Umm, the hoops are nice," I said.

She nodded, "Alright then." She got some ice and placed it against my left ear for a moment and then pierced it with her piercing gun. It was like a dull ache. She worked the hoop into place and then repeated the procedure with my right ear. It was another strange sensation to add to all the others: feeling earrings swing in my ears.

She sat and looked at me for a moment without speaking. I noticed and asked, "What is it?" She shook her head, but I persisted, "No come on, what is it?"

She shrugged, "Well I was just thinking. Well it depends on what sort of image you're going for, but if you're aiming to be a female star, musician whatever, well I was thinking you might want to think about more piercings? And if so, well if you proceeded now, they would be healed and good to go in 4 weeks. Just a thought."

I thought about it. I could see her point. But part of me was recoiling against it. I weighed it up and decided she definitely had a point and given I wasn't sure what grounds I had particularly for disagreeing.

"No half measures?" I said softly. She smiled and nodded. I asked, "What do you suggest?"

"Well, I was thinking that if I pierced each ear once more at least, that would probably be enough for now."

I took a deep breath, "OK"

"OK? You want me to?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes sure, go for it."

"Alright," she smiled, "I'll just put little gold studs in this time. The procedure was repeated in both ears. As she did it, I wondered what would happen if I was ever going to try to go back to being Nick, but I put that thought out of my head as it wasn't exactly helpful to the current situation.

"Nearly done," she said. She took the cap off my head and removed the rollers. Another vigorous brushing of my hair ensued and eventually she was done. She stood back and got me to stand up. I complied.

She gave a low whistle. "Well I never." I looked at her questioningly. She continued, "Jools told me how good you looked the other day, but I didn't think she meant this good. I mean, this is incredible. If I didn't know otherwise, I would swear blind that you are and always had been a woman. Unbelievable."

I felt my curiosity getting the better of me, "Can I see please?"

She brought me into the dressing room where there was a full-length mirror and I stopped dead in my tracks. It was like the other day only much more so this time. I had flowing long, sleek wavy black hair, pencil-thin eyebrows which at that current time were trying their best to make it up my forehead to my hairline. Perfectly made up, absolutely perfectly. I guessed Beth was pretty good at what she did. The dress clung to my figure which was shapely to say the least. The breasts were prominent, the waist narrow and my legs looked long and shapely.

"She was right," Beth mused.

"Hmm?" I said as my mind tried to regain control of my body.

"Jools said that when I was done with you I'd agree."

"Agree what?"

"She said you were absolutely gorgeous and would make me completely green with envy to look at you."

I waved a hand dismissively at her and winced, "Nonsense."

"No seriously," she said softly, "I see a lot of women in here, most not particularly beautiful, but some are. I'm not sure I've seen anyone in here more beautiful than you."

I didn't know what to say. "Thanks," I heard myself say as I turned to look at myself in the mirror again.

"You know," she said, "If you can sing half as good as you look, beware world because here comes Cara Malone!"

 

----------*----------

 

Time was marching on, it was well after seven and Beth had rang Jools to say there was little point in her coming back in to us. We would both come on out to Silsbury Manor in Beth's car. Beth handed me a short black jacket and after slipping it on, I stepped outside the salon. As she locked the door I felt extremely uncomfortable. It must have been obvious.

"What's wrong Cara?" she asked softly right beside me.

"Umm, I dunno," I replied, "I think I just feel very strange outside looking like I do and dressed like this." I paused, "I keep thinking people are going to start laughing and pointing or something."

She chuckled softly and took me by the arm as we walked round to the back of the salon to where her little Renault was parked, "Honey, trust me, they may stop and stare but there would be no laughing or pointing. Jealous looks, looks of desire maybe, but no-one is ever going to think you are anything other than a beautiful woman." She added, "Especially after the next 4 weeks."

I didn't know whether to be reassured or more disconcerted. It worked both ways on different levels. I mean, if I was wearing a black dress and made up to the nines, I was quite happy to be thought of as a woman. However the comment about no-one ever thinking I was anything but a woman? Was this a one-way trip I wondered? What if things didn't work out? I put these thoughts out of my head as Beth opened the passenger door for me.

"Sit down bottom first and then swing both legs in together," she murmured to me.

I did as she instructed and it was quite a strange movement compared to my normal one leg in first, then body, then other leg manoeuvre. I must have completed it satisfactorily though as she grinned at me and drove off. We drove for about 4 or 5 miles out of town into the dark countryside before Beth told me we were nearly there.

"Now," she said, "let me warn you. My parent's house is quite big. It can be quite overwhelming to first time visitors."

I shrugged but still I couldn't help but give a sharp intake of breath as she rounded the bend in the coastal road and I saw the lighted mansion on the next headland.

"You weren't half kidding," I murmured.

She smiled almost a little embarrassedly, "Yes well, I know."

"How long have your folks lived there?"

"Oh they got this place built about 17 years ago. It's not that old a building. So I was about 8 years old when we moved here. It's the only home really that Jools and I remember."

She pressed a button on a remote device beside her and the large wrought iron gates that we had driven up to began to slowly open. We drove through and began a slow drive up the long driveway to the house. Again another remote button pressed and one of the 4 garage doors slid open to admit her car. We climbed out and I saw Jools' car there alongside a sleek Jaguar and a sporty Mercedes. Her parents' cars I presumed. She led me over to a staircase at one side of the garage and keyed in a code on the lock beside the door at the top. We entered the house and about 10 seconds later Jools came dashing around a corner.

"Let me see, let me see," she said breathlessly.

Beth grinned and stood aside leaving me in the middle of the hallway standing there shyly. I smiled a little unsurely.

"Oh – my – god," Jools said slowly. She stared at me and shook her head slowly, "Oh my god," she repeated.

After an awkward moment's silence, I cleared my throat, "Umm do I look OK Jools?"

She laughed, "Cara darling, you are unbelievably gorgeous. I can't believe you were ever a man."

I winced again but figured pointing out the offensiveness of her statement would be inappropriate given that she meant it as a compliment.

Jools turned to Beth, "You are an absolute wizard sis."

Beth laughed and shook her head, "An artist is only as good as the raw material and the raw material in this case was awesome."

Jools grinned and inspected me closely. She took my hands in hers and ooh'ed at my nails, she winked at me as she looked at my breasts. She gently stroked my smooth cheek and then she noticed my earrings. She raised an eyebrow and asked me, "Were these your own decision?"

I nodded and smiled feeling quite embarrassed. "No half measures you know Jools," I quipped. She turned to Beth and raised an eyebrow.

"It was her choice," Beth replied indignantly, "I did not force her at all."

"OK OK," Jools said placatingly before turning back to me, "Just checking. I just want to make sure you're comfortable with everything Cara."

I laughed out loud, "Comfortable?" I grinned, "I wouldn't quite say that, but I'm aware of the need for all this and I'm still fully committed to it."

Jools grinned, "Fully committed?" She gestured to me and winked, "No kidding."

Before I could retort or pinch her or something, she clapped her hands, "So who's hungry?"

I suddenly realised I was absolutely starving. Not surprising really since Beth and I hadn't eaten anything all afternoon. We both made noises of confirmation and Jools led the way to the kitchen. The house was amazing. The hall was wooden panelled, wooden floored and very tastefully decorated. The kitchen was large and spacious. An Aga cooker in the corner made it warm and cosy and large French windows overlooked what I imagined in daylight would be a very pleasant view. We sat down at the table and Jools served us generous helpings of steaming cottage pie.

As I tucked in happily, I asked Jools, "Did you make this? It's really good."

She chuckled, "I resent your implication. But you are quite correct. I didn't make it, Mabel did."

I raised an eyebrow a forkful halfway to my mouth, "Mabel?"

She nodded, "Mabel Finniston is the housekeeper. She and her husband Sam live in the gate lodge. You probably didn't notice it in the dark as you drove in. Sam is the groundsman cum gardener cum handyman whatever. They're both in their sixties and have been working for Mum and Dad since we moved in here." She shrugged, "They're more like grandparents to us I guess."

I nodded and ate a few more mouthfuls before something struck me, "Umm Jools. Are they…well, are they on the list?"

Beth looked puzzled, but I knew Jools understood. She replied, "No they are not. I wasn't planning on telling them. It wouldn't be a problem, but looking at how you've turned out, I can't imagine any need to tell them."

I took a slow breath and murmured, "My first real test I guess." I was going to have to convince two people up close for a lengthy period of time that I was a woman. It was quite a daunting prospect.

We finished up dinner. I wasn't able to eat as much as I had thought I would which puzzled me. When I mentioned it to the girls, Beth grinned and pinched my waist, "I think your new corset might have something to do with that. Probably not a bad thing too. It will teach you to have a woman's appetite."

I grimaced and said with mock-drama, "The trials of being a woman."

We took cups of hot coffee into a comfortable little sitting room. It was very homely and I gladly sank into a soft chair.

"Cara?" Jools asked.

"Mmm?" I replied.

"I was thinking. Voice," she said enigmatically.

"Voice?" I replied, "What's wrong with my voice? Sure that's what got me into all this."

Jools looked puzzled for a moment, "Oh wait, not your singing voice. I was thinking, your speaking voice. You're going to need to do something with it don't you think? I mean, it's not as if you've got the most…," she stopped.

"Go on," I said with a sigh having a good idea what was coming.

"Sorry," she said wincing, "I was going to say it's not as if you have the most manly voice. I'm really sorry. But do you think you can do something with it? I mean, how about trying to speak from your throat or something, rather than from the bottom of your chest."

I pondered and nodded. I thought about it a bit and then felt I was ready to try something out. I noticed both of them looking at me expectantly. "Umm," I said in my normal voice, "I think I can try something, but I feel sort of awkward, I don't know what to say."

Beth clicked her fingers and reached down beside her chair and pulled out a magazine. It was a woman's magazine and she opened it at one of the short stories it contained. "Why don't you just read and see what you can do," she suggested helpfully.

It was a good idea so I took it and got ready to read. I closed my eyes and mentally imagined myself as a woman about to speak, sort of like I had done when singing before. I began to read out loud. I made my voice a little softer, but not weak or whispery. I did as Jools said and tried to speak from my throat or even my mouth, rather than from my chest. I read on and on and made little adjustments here or there. As I read more, I tried to forget that the voice reading was mine and as I listened to myself speak, I felt the same disconcerting feeling that I had felt when listening to myself sing as a woman. I wasn't sure what Jools or Beth would think, but to my ears, the voice speaking was a woman.

I stopped reading and looked up at them. They both were staring at me trance-like. They looked at each other and then looked back at me. "Wow," Beth murmured.

"Wow indeed," Jools said with a growing smile. "Cara you have a lovely voice and I don't just mean your singing voice. And how's about the Welsh accent!"

"Sorry?" I said, still trying to speak in the woman's voice.

She grinned, "You've got your accent back again!"

I thought about it and realised she was right. Since moving up to London 5 years ago, my natural Welsh accent had become dulled to the point that no-one realised I was from Wales anymore. But now, speaking as Cara, the familiar lilt was back in my voice. I smiled, quite happy about this.

"Well, I don't know how it happened, but I guess it's a bonus," I replied. Yes, the lilt was there.

Jools smiled at me, "That voice, from that face on that body…" she shook her head and left her statement unfinished. I felt my cheeks flush, but I couldn't help myself from smiling. I couldn't help myself from yawning shortly after that too and I noticed Jools and Beth both catching the contagious yawn.

"Let's give you a quick tour, and then we can show you to your room," Jools said standing up from her chair, "You must be tired, I know I am."

I smiled and nodded, "It's been quite a day."

They showed me around the house. It was quite something. I loved the library with its wall to wall shelves and books on anything under the sun. Apparently their Dad was an avid reader. The formal drawing room was lavishly furnished, and I was almost afraid to touch anything for fear of tarnishing it. The dining room was a spacious room which had windows on three sides and a long shiny oblong table in the middle of it. But it was the room at the end of the hall that I really warmed to. I think Jools purposefully kept it to last. She smiled as she opened the door.

She turned on the light and I entered a largish room with a lacquered wooden floor. Along one wall was one big mirror with a wooden rail at waist height. I noted my music equipment was stashed against the opposite wall. But it was the far end of the room that caught my attention. There was a massive bay window and in front of it was a polished black baby grand piano. My eyes lit up and I turned to Jools with a goofy grin. "Wow, err can I?"

She grinned and gave a mock-frown, "Oh now, I don't know…" She laughed unable to keep a straight face, "Oh go on, of course you can."

I sat down on the stool and reverently and cautiously lifted the lid. I paused and then began to play. I wasn't sure what I was playing. It didn't really matter. The lush tones of the piano combined with the delightful acoustics of the room brought a dreamy smile to my face. After a few minutes I stopped and turned round.

Before I could say anything, Beth winked at Jools, "OK, she can certainly play, but can she sing?"

I grinned and turned back to the piano, rising to the challenge. I mentally prepared myself and gave them 'Show me Heaven'." I gave it everything and lost myself in the moment before slowly bringing myself back to earth as the song finished. I turned round and nimbly got to my feet. I think it must have been the adrenaline from playing that made me do what I did next. I haughtily tossed my head and smiled at Beth with a little wink saying, "Oh the girl can most certainly sing."

Both she and Jools burst out laughing. Between giggles Beth tried to speak, "With your voice and that attitude, I can see why you and Jools are going to such lengths." I couldn't help from joining in the laughter too.

"This is a great room," I enthused. "What's the mirror for?"

Jools and Beth looked at each other and rather sheepishly Beth explained, "Well, when we were young girls, we were both sort of keen on ballet."

I laughed as I pictured them pirouetting or such like, "No kidding."

"Oh don't you laugh," Jools warned, "This room has other uses too. Like very good for aerobics."

I grimaced, "Sounds like hard work."

She smiled, "It is and it will be. Us girls have to keep toned and stay in shape."

"What's the view like?" I mused aloud.

Beth replied nonchalantly, "Oh you know, nothing special. Cliff, beach below, crashing waves and the like."

Jools interjected, "Think you could write some more songs in this room?"

I nodded, "Oh most definitely, I think I could spend a lot of time in here."

 

----------*----------

 

The girls gave me the upstairs tour. The house must have had about six bedrooms! They showed me to one of the guest bedrooms. I think it was the largest bedroom I had ever stayed in with a large queen size double bed to boot. And it had its own ensuite shower room too. Beth said her good night and I thanked her sincerely for her help earlier in the day. Jools hung back and asked if I wanted any help removing my makeup. I gratefully accepted and she patiently teacher-like talked me through each step getting me to do it myself. Then she told me to give my hair a good brushing and rather mother-like left me in no doubt that I should give it the old standard hundred brushes morning and night. I slipped off my necklace, bracelet and rings.

"Err Jools," I pondered, "What do I wear, you know, to bed?"

She smiled and walked over to my bed. She lifted my pillow and grinning, lifted a sleeveless black silk nightdress. "How's this?"

I chuckled, "I guess it's grand. What about the corset?"

Jools thought, "Well, I think it would be useful to keep it on but maybe loosen it a lot. I think it'll be good for developing your figure. Do you want a hand?"

I smiled, "Do you mind?"

She helped me out of my dress and showed me how to remove my stockings without getting a run in them. She helped me loosen the corset and I revelled in the relative freedom of that. I slipped on the nightdress.

"How does it feel?" Jools asked curiously.

I felt a little embarrassed as I replied, "Erm, well it feels really nice to be honest." It did. It was soft and silky. It wasn't restricting, it was airy.

She grinned, "I thought you'd like it."

I caught a glimpse of myself in the dressing table mirror and paused. No make up at all. Yet still it was a woman looking back at me. Was it just the hair? The earrings? The figure or the nightdress? Or a combination of all of the above? I wasn't sure. Jools asked me what was wrong and I explained what I was thinking. She smiled and asked me if it really mattered what explained it. I guess it didn't and told her so. She said goodnight and was heading for the door when she paused as if wanting to say something more.

"What is it Jools?" I asked as I sat on the edge of my bed.

She hesitated, but slowly made her way back to my bed and sat down beside me. She sat in silence looking thoughtful for a moment before looking sideways at me. "No half measures, isn't that what you said?" she asked softly.

I smiled back at her, "Well, if I'm going to do it, I think that's the right approach don't you?"

She nodded, "Absolutely. It's just that there was something else I was going to suggest, but didn't know whether or not to bring it up."

I paused. I had no idea what she was going to suggest but my curiosity was piqued. "Well Jools, tell me what it is. I can't give an opinion if you don't let me know."

She nodded again, "Alright. Now I didn't tell this person any specifics so don't get all worried about another person knowing. But there's this doctor I know. Well she's an old family friend and I went to see her a year or two back when I had some…problems. I was mentioning to her that I had a friend who wanted to become a woman."

I interrupted, "Well wanted is not exactly how I would have put it…"

She held up a hand, "I know, I know. But I didn't want to go into specifics. Anyways I was just inquiring out of interest with her if there was anything she could suggest that would help." She paused to let her words sink in.

I think I got the drift. "Hormones?" I said a little shakily.

She nodded and smiled sympathetically, "Yes. Now I know it's a big thing, but let me lay it out and you can either think about it or never mention it again. Either way, it's totally fine with me."

I swallowed hard to keep my stomach from ascending into my throat, "Alright, I'm listening."

"Well, she said that you, or rather, my friend, could take what is essentially a souped up strength version of what is like a female contraceptive pill. It contains a mixture of oestrogens and progestagens to mimic the female hormonal balance. I asked her what sort of effects they would have if taken for about 4 weeks. Apparently there wouldn't be much effect in that time. Hair would be softer, skin would be too. Perhaps slight change in body fat distribution but nothing too noticeable. With me so far?"

I nodded, "There's more?"

She smiled and nodded, "Well then she said that if 'my friend' wanted to accelerate things somewhat, a starter booster dose could be used. Basically an injection of high dose oestrogen to kick start things. That combined with 4 weeks of the daily pills would have a bit more effect." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Basically after that time with the head start, there would be quite noticeable redistribution of body fat. Narrower waist, fuller hips. And well, the beginnings of some natural breast development." Jools held up a hand, "Now she was quite clear, that either way with starter dose or not, after 4 weeks, none of the changes would be irreversible in any way." She stopped and looked at me.

"Wow," I murmured. Then I thought of something, "Jools. Just by chance, would you happen to have in your possession here the pills and the starter injection?"

From the guilty look on her face I knew the answer before she spoke. "Yes Cara," she confessed, "Look I only thought I'd get them from her just in case. I want you to believe me on that. To be honest, I had almost decided not to mention them at all, but I figured it was only fair to give you the options."

I nodded, "It's alright. I'm not angry." I wasn't, I was just a little overwhelmed. I thought for a few moments as I tried to get my brain around it. It was scary on the one hand. But on the other hand, as Jools had said, nothing would be irreversible.

I started to think out loud, "Jools, if we make a go of this, I mean say we get a deal and things turn out successful. Well as we said before, that sort of means I'm going to be a woman from now on. In that case, it would be the sensible thing to take some hormones then wouldn't it?"

She nodded, "It does seem logical."

I continued, "Alright, and if as you say the changes aren't irreversible after 4 weeks…" My voice trailed and I wrinkled my brow as I tried to take it on board.

I shook my head, "Jools I can't get my head around all of this and it seems scary, but thinking simply about it. If things work out, I probably will need to take hormones. Starting now probably makes sense. If things don't work out, well then I stop and there's no long lasting effects."

I looked over at her and exhaled slowly.

"What are you saying?" she prompted gently.

"I guess I'm saying that I'm pretty well petrified, but on balance, why don't we go for it. I can stop anytime. I mean we have to give this everything or else it's a pathetic waste of time and money and me being scared shouldn't affect that."

She smiled, "Are you sure? Want to sleep on it?"

I shook my head, "No Jools, I don't want to sleep on it. Let's do it. Sleeping on it won't change the reasons for doing it."

"Are you sure?" she asked again.

I half-chuckled, "Well no, I'm not sure, but I'm saying yes let's do it, so go get your hormone gun before I change my mind."

She grinned and said she'd be back in a moment. Within a minute she slipped back into my room with a syringe.

"Do you know what to do with that?" I asked tentatively.

She smiled, "My friend talked me through it and said I couldn't go wrong."

"Famous last words," I muttered.

She told me to roll over onto my stomach and I did so. She lifted the hem of my nightdress and pulled my panties to one side. "Hold still," she murmured. I felt a stinging jab on my right buttock and then an intense pain as she injected the contents of the syringe.

"Ouch," I murmured into the bed.

She vigorously rubbed the injection site and then pulled my nightdress down. I sat up and smiled at her, "I don't feel any different yet."

She laughed, "I don't think it works that quickly."

"Oh wait," I said raising a hand to my brow and frowning. Seeing she was looking at me with concern, I quipped, "It must have worked, I think I've forgotten how to park a car. Darn, I'm a woman."

She sighed, "You!!" and gave me a playful slap. She placed a strip of pills on my bedside table. I noticed that 3/4 of them were red and 1/4 were yellow. "You take one a day, starting with the red ones," she explained. "I'll leave them here; it's totally up to you to take them. I'll not be forcing them into you."

She looked at me thoughtfully, "You know Cara, you really are something else. I'm amazed at how well you are taking this. You're so determined."

I laughed, "Oh, I don't think the half of it has sunk in yet. I'm sure there will be tears at some stage. But we've got to go for it; well I know I have to."

She gave me a tender hug and then a gentle peck on the lips, "Night Cara. Sleep well. Want me to give you a wake up call in the morning?"

"Sure thing. And thanks Jools…for everything."

She grinned and waved closing the door behind her. I slipped under the covers of the bed and lay down. My head was swimming as I thought back over the day. Thankfully I was so tired that I didn't have long to mull over things before I drifted off to sleep.

 

----------*----------

 

 

 

CHAPTER 4

 

I woke of my own accord and discerned the faint beginnings of daylight on the other side of the curtains. I felt quite disorientated at first. Probably due to the long hair half over my face which I soon realised was my own. And due also to the fact that when I rolled over the pulling sensation on the front of my chest reminded me that I had breasts. I propped my head up on an elbow and got my bearings. I checked the digital clock beside my bed. Just before 8 a.m. This early morning wakening by yourself lark was getting to be a habit. Whether it was a bad one or not I reserved judgement on just yet. As the memories of the previous day flooded my consciousness I realised I was now quite definitely awake. It was a strange sensation. Almost an anticipation of my first full day as a girl. I sat on the edge of the bed and decided I may as well go on and get ready for the day. I went into the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. As I pulled up my nightdress, I realised the incongruity of what I was about to do and couldn't bring myself to do it. I set the seat down again and sat down instead. It just felt more appropriate and I figured I had better get into the habit of it. I chuckled to myself as I imagined the looks I would get if I walked into the gents looking like I did now and hitched up my skirts before the urinals. When done, I slipped off my nightdress. Taking off the silky material filled me with a sensation somewhat akin to regret, but I shrugged figuring that there would be plenty more nights to enjoy the feeling of it.

I managed to unhitch my corset and dropped it to the floor. I added my panties to the pile on the floor. I looked in the mirror and felt quite strange. Almost disappointment. The perfect illusion of femininity was not as perfect now. In a weird kind of way this moment reinforced to me the correctness of my decision last night regarding the hormones. With that thought in mind I walked straight back into my bedroom and pushed out the first pill from the strip beside my bed. I popped it in and swallowed it. I could hardly believe the path I was now on but I was never one for beating about the bush when doing something. I wasn't quite sure if I was crazy or not, but in my way of thinking, if you're going to be crazy, may as well go all out and be a raving lunatic. Going back into the bathroom, I turned on the shower and as the water was heating up, I looked about for something to keep my hair from getting wet. I figured it didn't need washed as it was only washed and set yesterday. I found a shower cap and managed to bunch my hair up under it.

Slipping under the steaming jets of water was a great feeling. I soaped my body. My smooth body. It was a strange sensation soaping my breasts. I knew they weren't really mine and they obviously had no sensation in them, but under my hands they felt real. My skin felt more sensitive to the touch. I didn't know if it was the total hairlessness, the hormones, or my imagination. I figured it was probably mostly the latter option. Stepping out of the shower I wrapped the towel around my waist, but as I caught my reflection in the mirror, I chuckled to myself realising that wouldn't do. I pulled the towel up and wrapped it around my upper body and noted the improvement in decency in my reflection. After towelling off, I noticed a tube of scented body moisturiser beside the bath. I figured I should use it so I rubbed in liberal amounts all over my body. The fragrance was subtle and sort of floral. After using the scented body spray which I also found on the bath side, I removed the shower cap and shook my hair loose. The feeling of my long hair on my bare back was another new but strangely nice sensation.

Picking up my corset and returning to the bedroom I wondered what I should wear. The same as yesterday? Or was there another option? I spotted a neatly folded pile of clothes on a chair at the far side of the room. On further inspection there was a clean pair of panties, a black top, blue denim skirt and black ribbed pantyhose. There was a pair of black boots with a reasonable sized heel under the chair. I guessed these were all for me. After fitting myself into my gaff and sliding on the panties, I began to tackle the corset. After a bit of effort I managed to hitch it together around my torso. I began to lace myself into it. Although I was tempted to go easy on myself, I figured it would be self-defeating. So I gave it a bit of elbow grease until I felt my waist significantly constricted. I pulled the rib-knit black top over my head and noted that it clung to my figure quite nicely. After pulling on the pantyhose, I stepped into the denim skirt and zipped it up. It was quite short, just below mid-thigh. The boots were quite awkward to get into, but I worked my feet into them and zipped up the sides. They came to mid calf. I quite liked them I decided. I checked out my appearance in the wardrobe mirror and shook my head. Even without make up, I looked too good. The girls had good fashion sense too as demonstrated by the outfit they had left for me.

I sat down at the dressing table and pondered what to do as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. Well, I reckoned I had better give the make up thing a go. I was going to have to learn sooner or later and I reckoned learning by mistakes would be a part of it. I remembered as best I could what Beth and previously Jools had done to me. There was a full set of cosmetics on the dressing table in front of me. I took a sponge and dabbed on a light coating of foundation, blending it in as well as I could. Then a light coat of powder. After that, things seemed a little harder. I decided that less is best, certainly for this attempt. I brushed a light coat of dusky brown eye shadow onto my lids and applied one coat of mascara. Having managed that without making a total mess of myself, I felt quite proud. I brushed on a smidgeon of rouge and then contemplated the lipsticks in front of me. I selected a shade that looked similar to the one that Beth had used yesterday. A deep reddish-brown. This was where it could all go wrong I figured. Taking a deep breath, I pursed my lips and gave it my best shot. I didn't go overboard and that was probably why I got away with it. I blotted my lips and then inspected my handiwork in the mirror. I smiled. Not too bad I thought to myself. I really did feel quite proud and being honest, I had to admit that I had quite enjoyed doing my makeup myself. I sighed at my appearance. It was definitely Cara Malone looking back at me. I looked hard to see if I could spot Nick Evans, but I didn't think I could make him out.

I grabbed the hairbrush and began the vigorous brushing of my hair that I had been instructed to carry out. I was almost at the hundred when there was a gentle tapping at the door. I cleared my throat and remembering to speak in 'Cara's' voice said, "Come in."

Jools stuck her head round the door. "Oh you're up," she said sounding surprised. "Oh and you're dressed too," she added as she came in.

I smiled at her, "Well, I thought I'd just get on with it."

"And your makeup!" she exclaimed. "Did you do that yourself?" she asked with a little incredulity in her voice.

I grinned, "Sure I did. Is it that bad and obvious?"

"Not at all," she said sounding impressed, "Not at all bad indeed." She stood back and looked me over, "Damn girl, you look good."

I felt myself blush and looked down, but looked back up and said the only thing I could say, but also the thing I felt inside too, "Thanks Jools."

"Well since you're up and dressed and all, ready for breakfast?"

I nodded, "Sure thing," and gave my hair a last few brushes getting it into the shape I wanted. I got up and then almost as an afterthought, grabbed the perfume on the dressing table and gave a few spritzes to each side of my neck. I stood up and noticed Jools grinning at me.

"Like the boots?" she asked with a smile.

I laughed and blushed again, "Yes actually I really do."

She laughed with me, "Come on girl, let's go get some brekkie."

 

----------*----------

 

Beth was already in the kitchen getting things ready. She seemed quite surprised to see us.

"Oh, that was amazingly fast Jools," she said.

"Wasn't it?" Jools replied, "But actually, when I got there, Cara was already dressed and ready, make up and all."

That got Beth's interest, "Really?" she said, wiping her hands on a towel and walking over to me. She nodded and grinned, "Not bad at all girl. You're going to be a quick learner. I think you are a natural."

I half-laughed, half-snorted but murmured, "Thanks."

"What do you think of the outfit? I picked it myself," Beth asked.

I smiled, "I like it thanks."

"Seriously?" she asked raising an eyebrow, "I mean I know why you are doing all this, but do you really like the clothes?"

I shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable. I pondered and thought about it. I started hesitantly, "Well, I hadn't really thought about it in too much detail. I know why I am doing this, but I guess I have to admit that there are certain parts that I don't mind too much. Other bits totally freak me out. But yes, I like the outfit." I paused and in a quiet voice added as an afterthought, "I think the clothes make me look nice."

Beth smiled kindly and gave me a little hug, "I think they do too. It's totally OK to like them. Hell girl, you're going through a heck of a lot, I think you've every right to enjoy yourself as much as you can."

I blinked a few times and gave a hesitant smile, "Erm, thanks Beth." I tried to change the subject as I was feeling really quite uncomfortable now, "Did somebody say something about breakfast?"

Beth and Jools both laughed and I joined in with them.

"OK, let's eat," Beth said.

I sat down at the table and she poured me a bowl of what looked like muesli, she poured the same for Jools. She then added some dried fruit on top. I stared at the bowl and then looked at Jools. She had a similar expression to mine. I think it was disdain. I let Jools speak.

"Uhh, Beth, what's this?"

"It's muesli with dried apricots," Beth replied.

"Hmm, not really my usual sort of thing," Jools replied as Beth poured us all a glass of fresh orange juice.

"Well," Beth began a little defensively, "you said that you wanted my help for you and Cara to be as healthy and fit as possible. It starts here. Give it a chance; you never know you might get to like it."

"Hmph, I doubt it," Jools said a little sulkily.

I poured some milk onto mine and tried a spoonful. Pretty dry and tasteless. Harmless though. I grinned at Jools who was trying hers. We both struggled our way through it. I wasn't used to any breakfast as I usually didn't rise 'til mid morning. Jools was more of a croissants and pastries person from what I knew of her. When we finished, Beth smiled at us and offered us some wholemeal bread toasted. Whilst it wasn't that appetising to either of us, we accepted it given the lack of other options. When I asked Beth about the chances of a cup of coffee she said that we could have some herbal tea. Too much coffee being a bad thing and not a great way to start the day and all that. I saw Jools roll her eyes and I smirked knowing how much she lived on coffee.

After we finished, Beth said, "Now since it's Sunday, I'll give you both the morning off, but the exercise program starts tomorrow without fail."

Jools just groaned, but I asked, "Exercise program?"

She nodded, "Yes, get you fit and toned. We'll alternate between morning jogs and indoor aerobics." She grinned mischievously, "It will help you to work up an appetite for your muesli."

Both Jools and I groaned. I wasn't used to regular exercise at all and had a fair idea it was going to be painful. But I had already had a lot of new experiences so far, this would just be another one to add to my growing collection. After we had cleared up the breakfast dishes, I asked what was on the agenda for the day.

"Well," Jools started, "Beth and I are going to Church. You are welcome to come along if you want, but we'll understand if you don't."

"Church?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Beth explained, "when we are at home, Mum and Dad like us to go to Church each Sunday. They like the family to be part of the local parish so we go to the Anglican Church in Seaton when we are home."

I thought for a moment, "But your Mum and Dad are away so they won't know either way?"

They both looked at each other and grinned. Jools shrugged, "Yeah, but Mabel would dob us in if we defaulted. Besides, it's sort of become a habit. It's been a while since I've been. I guess it's good for us."

"Like muesli and exercise?" I asked teasingly.

She stuck her tongue out at me before asking, "So what about you?"

I shifted a little awkwardly. I hadn't been to Church for some time. My parents were strict Welsh Methodists and when I was young, Church was very much part of our lives. Since I had moved away, it hadn't seemed that relevant. But to think of going to Church as a woman? It seemed a little hypocritical to me. "Umm, thanks but I think I'd need to get more confidence up first Jools before I could face going to Church as Cara."

She smiled, "No problem, I understand. Will you be OK here without us?"

I laughed, "I think I'll survive. I'll maybe tinkle a few ivories on that rather nice piano I spotted last night. See if I get some inspiration."

The sisters got themselves ready and left dressed very nicely and conservatively in typical Sunday best dresses and I made my way to the music room. That's what I called it in my mind. The view was spectacular. The big bay window looked out over the Devon coast. A cliff reared up just along the coast from Silsbury Manor and I could see gulls circling and landing all the time. The waves down below were crashing onto the sand. It was a dry clear day and the sun was trying hard to penetrate a thin layer of cloud. As I sat down at the stool I just drank in the view for several minutes before coming to my senses again. I began to play. To play anything and everything that came to mind.

 

----------*----------

 

Inspiration was flowing. I had hit upon a catchy melody. I was hamming it up on the piano, but it was made for the guitar. It was on the guitar I was hearing it in my head, but I always found it easier in general to write the full song on the piano first. It was a rocky number and it had ironically arisen from the theme of yesterday's goings on and conversations. 'No Half Measures' I was titling it. I had been humming around a melody as I played and some words were floating around in my head too.

"Yesterday's hopes are today's shattered dreams,

Tomorrow only brings more,

Are you going to let the world poke fun at your schemes,

And trample them into the floor?

It's gonna take no half measures,

Pushing beyond the limit,

No half measures,

Gonna take heart, soul and spirit,

For when you feel it's over and there's no point going on,

Is when you realise what is chaff and what're your treasures,

But if there's half a chance of making it, join me in this song,

Let's kick down the ever-closing doors – no half measures!"

I added a few more verses, a melancholic bridge and finished with two rousing choruses, shifting the last one up a key and stretching the limits of my 'new' voice before bringing it to a sultry soft close as I repeated the last line, "So c'mon push open every door – no half measures!" I stopped and took a breath and then I heard someone clapping from behind me.

I turned sharply thinking that it was a bit early for the girls to be back. Instead I saw a portly lady smiling from the door. I reckoned it was Mabel. She smiled at me and stopped clapping. "You've got the gift m'dear," she stated matter-of-factly in a broad Devon accent.

I smiled shyly, "Erm thanks."

She nodded and walked over. She wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing. "Mabel Finniston. You must be Miss Cara."

I smiled. It was strange to be addressed so formally, but it seemed appropriate from Mabel. "Yes, nice to meet you Mrs. Finniston."

She chuckled and flapped her hands at me, "Mabel m'dear, Mabel it is."

I stood up a little awkwardly as she approached, not quite knowing whether to reach out to shake her hand or what. She stuck out a friendly hand though and resolved my dilemma. I shook her hand and my hand seemed slim and dainty in her large grasp. She looked me over appraisingly.

"You're quite the looker too Miss Cara. And quite a big girl too I see," she was looking at my breasts. She didn't seem bothered, but I felt extremely embarrassed. I didn't know what to say, but she continued on.

"I hear you're down 'ere to write some songs. Hoping to get a record deal with Miss Julie's 'elp." She looked me up and down and frowned a little, "Although I can't says I approves of the length of your skirt m'dear. A little short don't you think? And for a Sunday?"

I fought the almost irrepressible urge to ask her exactly how long a skirt should be to be appropriate for Sundays. In fact I wasn't sure exactly what to say and looking back wished I'd kept my mouth shut, "Erm well I don't have many…long skirts." I had been about to say I didn't have many skirts but reckoned that would sound a bit fishy. However I fear I just ended up convincing Mabel I was some sort of tart.

"Ah well," she tutted, "I guess if you're going to be the music star, I imagine you'll be wearing even less at times than you are now."

I blushed and smiled, dropping my gaze a little as I didn't know how to respond. She chuckled, "Oh come now child, that pouty smile might work on th'on young lads around 'ere, but it'll cut no ice with me. I've known too much of the like from Miss Julie and Miss Elizabeth over the years. Now you go back to your playing and singing, I like to listen to you and I'll have the Sunday dinner ready before long."

I did as instructed and added the finishing touches to my new song. I was well pleased with it. I didn't have the half-doubts or reticence that I sometimes did when finishing a new song. I knew this one rocked and I was proud of it. I sang it through from start to finish and gave it the full treatment. I heard whispers behind me and turned to see Jools and Beth peering in the door.

"Wow," Beth said. "Who sings that? I've never heard it before."

I laughed and stood up. I sashayed over to them and fluttered my eyelids, "Cara Malone sings that."

They both giggled for a moment. Jools spoke, "You mean to say you wrote that just this morning?" She seemed a little incredulous.

I nodded and buffed my nails, "Yes."

She gave a low whistle, "If you can write songs like that as quickly as that, you'll have more than enough material at the end of your time here."

I smiled wistfully, "It doesn't always come as easily Jools." I shrugged, "I was lucky this morning. I was in the groove or whatever. It doesn't often happen, but when it does….," I paused and grinned, "It's pretty damn good, isn't it?"

Beth laughed and turns to Jools, "She's not only talented, beautiful and sexy, but she's modest too."

Jools winked, "Oh we don't want her being modest and I doubt anyone looking like her is really modest."

I caught a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror. I was going to register the almost automatic protest against what they were saying, but as I saw my reflection: my full, feminine figure and my long, shapely legs, my long full-bodied hair and my attractively made up face, well I couldn't deny what they were saying. What was more disconcerting than the fact of it all was my response to it. As I looked at myself, I felt myself getting aroused. I looked like a sexy woman and I feared I was beginning to like it. I tried to get my mind back on track by telling them about my encounter with Mabel. I told them about my comment about not having any long skirts and they both laughed. Jools told me that now I had a reputation to live up to and when we went shopping tomorrow for more outfits for me, she knew to get the short tarty stuff for me. I protested, but not too much.

Sunday lunch passed without too much incident. I met Sam Finniston, a wiry silver-haired thin man with a dry sense of humour. Mabel had scolded him for apparently eyeing me up too much. My embarrassed reaction had amused them all no end. After lunch Jools, Beth and I had taken a long, leisurely walk around their parents' estate. It was large and the cliff walk was breathtaking. We spent the evening all curled up together on a sofa in the family room before a roaring log fire watching a DVD together. Beth advised us to turn in early as she would be giving us an early wake up call for morning exercise. With groans of anticipation, we heeded her advice.

I managed to get myself undressed, my corset loosened and my makeup removed without assistance. I smiled as I slid my silky nightdress on and again revelled in the lovely sensations. As I lay down in bed, I pondered my first full day as a woman. I had mixed feelings. Contradictory feelings. I had to admit to enjoying the way I looked, yet feeling uncomfortable at times too. I had to admit to being excited about the songs that I as Cara was writing and singing. Yet at the moment, down here in Devon, we seemed to be far away from the real world and the thought of having to sing and perform as Cara was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

 

----------*----------

 

True to her word, Beth woke me just before 8 a.m. and with a bright and far too cheery 'Good Morning' threw back my curtains. Not that too much light streamed in as the beginnings of dawn were just beginning to become evident. I groaned as I sat on the edge of the bed rubbing my sleep-filled eyes.

"C'mon sleepyhead it's a fresh clear morning, get dressed and let's go!" she said enthusiastically.

"What will I wear?" I murmured with a yawn.

She set down some items on my bed. "I've got what you need. Take off your corset and slip on this sports bra. I've got a track suit top and jogging pants for you. And some running shoes which should hopefully fit. I'll see you downstairs in 2 minutes." She grinned, "No being a lady and taking half an hour to get ready. Don't bother with make up or anything."

I slipped off my nightdress and corset. I had a bit of difficulty with the bra, but eventually managed to get it on correctly. The jogging pants and track top were a lilac colour and fit me snugly. The shoes were white with pink trim and were a good fit also. I found a scrunchie on my dressing table and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I was a bit worried about how I would look heading out without my corset, make up or without doing something with my hair. I checked myself over in the mirror. It was worryingly reassuring. No make up, hair in a simple ponytail and a tracksuit. Yet I looked for all the world like an attractive woman in sports gear.

Beth, myself and a sleepy and somewhat grumpy Jools headed out of the house into the cold crisp morning. The sun was just beginning to come up and the sky was clear and blue. Beth said we would just go for a light jog this morning. She headed off and Jools and I followed. She led us over one of the meadows towards the coast and then down one of the paths that led to the beach. The tide was half in and we ran along the sandy beach in the near perfect stillness which was only disturbed by the sounds of our breathing and a few cries from circling gulls overhead. As the sun rose further, its faint rays began to glint on the breaking, rippling waves and were also reflected off the cliff face on the other side. Although I felt like my lungs were beginning to burn, it was almost compensated for by the beauty of the situation. I was not in good shape, but thankfully I was not the first one to protest.

"God Beth, can we not turn back, I'm going to pop my clogs if we go any further," Jools complained.

Beth laughed. She was breathing more heavily now than before, but still seemed comfortable. She was obviously far fitter than Jools or me. "Alright," she relented and turned, "but no slacking off on the pace. Push yourself; it's the only way to get fit."

That was all very well, but coming up the path from the beach, both Jools and I could barely maintain a slow jog. It was a relief to be back on the flat meadow and the sight of the house getting ever nearer was the only thing that kept me going. When we arrived back on the doorstep, Beth was stretching and limbering down. "That was exhilarating wasn't it?" she enthused.

If I had any breath left in my body to spare from the seemingly impossible task of keeping my body alive, I might have actually agreed. But Jools and I were both half-collapsed on the doorstep sucking in air greedily as if it was going out of fashion. After what seemed like an age, but was probably only a matter of minutes, my lungs decided to stop trying to break out of my chest. Jools looked a little less unhappy too. We went inside and despite a vain hope of a more substantial breakfast, it was muesli and wholemeal toast with tea again. Though it was amazing how much better it tasted this morning.

I enjoyed revelling in the hot jets of my shower after breakfast and after moisturising, sat down to dry my hair. I blow-dried it as best as I could and attempted to style it the way Beth had done the other day. The outcome was not too displeasing. Not seeing any other options, I dressed in the same outfit as the previous day and began to do my make up. I kept it simple again reckoning that I could manage that. Again, I was happy with the job I did. I slipped on my boots and checked the overall look in the mirror. "Lord, I'm beautiful," I murmured to myself, half-pleased and yet half-unbelieving still that it was really me. I found Beth in the family room downstairs.

"Cara, you look great. See a bit of exercise and you look radiant."

I laughed, "You look pretty good yourself." She did. Beth was petite with perfectly coifed shining auburn hair. She was more feminine, sensual and graceful in her movements and manner than Jools. And whilst both sisters were both physically very attractive, Jools attractiveness I reckoned was probably more in her assertive confidence and the enthusiasm she exuded rather than in her femininity per se.

"Jools says she's going to spend most of the day in the library on the phone, sorting some of her clients out so I thought we'd get to work this morning and then do some shopping after lunch," Beth explained.

"Work?" I said a little unsurely.

She laughed, "Oh yes. You might look like a phenomenally attractive sexy woman, but we need to work on getting you to act, think, speak and move like one all the time. There's more to being a woman than looking pretty you know." She winked.

I smiled, "I guess you're right. OK so what do we have to do then?"

We went to the music room and started with walking. I spent the morning walking up and down with Beth giving hints and tips here and there. She got me to move my hips more. She encouraged me to totally over exaggerate it whilst we were practising so that from now on when I was walking I wouldn't have to think about it. I felt a little silly swinging my hips so much and taking these little narrow steps, but when I looked at my reflection in the wall mirror, I had to admit that it was very sensual to watch.

"But Beth, I mean swinging my hips so much, I mean isn't it a little provocative looking?"

She laughed, "Well Cara dear, yes it is. And to be honest, most women don't walk quite like that, but let's face it, in your chosen profession, sexiness sells."

I didn't know what to say, but felt myself flush a little again. Then she got me to slip off my boots and brought me a pair of high-heeled shoes. A 4 inch heel I think she said. When I first slipped them on, I felt very unsteady and gingerly took some steps. She encouraged me to keep going until I got more confidence. Eventually I felt a little more balanced and steady, but it wasn't long before the shoes actually started to hurt.

She relented and said we'd practise more over the next few weeks. It seemed that Beth planned to spend each morning working with me on my femininity: walking, moving, gestures, speech, mannerisms, fashion, make up and anything else I would need to know. She next got me working on sitting and standing. The first time I sat down on a chair in the lounge, she pointed out my skirt which was riding up my thighs in a very revealing manner. She taught me how to smooth down my skirt when sitting and standing and made me do it again and again and again. When I protested mildly she reminded me that all these mannerisms had to be totally subconscious and natural if I was going to succeed. She was right. The time had flown and before we knew it, it was lunchtime. After grabbing a quick, small sandwich with Jools, Beth and I headed out shopping whilst Jools went back to her list of phone calls. Before we left, she handed me the black jacket I had worn the other day and a small black purse. I peeped inside and saw some basic cosmetics, tissues and a hairbrush.

 

----------*----------

 

Beth drove us into Plymouth and we parked outside a medium sized shopping mall. I felt quite self-conscious as I got out of the car, but remembered to keep my legs together. Beth must have sensed my reticence.

"Relax Cara," she whispered to me as we walked across the car park, "you look great, trust me all anyone is going to see is a pretty woman."

I grinned and winked back at her, "Two pretty women you mean." I took some satisfaction from the growing blush on her cheeks at my comment. She laughed.

As we walked down the main thoroughfare of the mall, I concentrated on walking the way Beth had taught me that morning, my head held up high and a half smile on my face. It wasn't long before I noticed the looks I was getting from some of the men I passed. I recognised the look: it was appraisal and appreciation. I felt my heart racing inside of me. It felt too weird to have men looking at me and barely concealing the desire in their glances. But what was more surprising was some of the looks that the women gave me. Somewhat disdainful and quite unpleasant. I began to fear that perhaps some of the women could see through me. I mentioned this to Beth and she sniggered.

"Oh it's not that they see through you," she half whispered, "let me explain. Quite a few women have difficulties with an exceptionally attractive woman. Particularly one that is more attractive than they are. That's why they are looking at you like that, they are comparing themselves to you and coming off worse." She shrugged, "It doesn't bother me, don't worry I won't look at you like that."

I gave a little snort, "You definitely won't, you're far prettier than I am Beth."

She put a hand on my arm and inclined her head, "Now come on Cara. Time for a reality pill. Let's cut the crap now. I'm flattered that you think I am pretty, but face it, you are stunningly gorgeous. That is why you are going to be a big success. Oh yes, you are musically gifted and have a wonderful voice. But combine that with how sexy and beautiful you look? It's a winning combination and few have it."

I swallowed and felt uncomfortable. I wrinkled my brow a little, "But Beth, it doesn't seem right. I mean me being…," I forced myself to say it, "me being beautiful, you know with me being really…" I left the rest unsaid knowing she knew what I meant.

She shrugged, "Who cares? The reality in this situation is how you look now. I don't know, perhaps this was always meant to be." She smiled at me, "Just relax and actually enjoy it, I mean the numbers of cute guys who have been checking you out while you've been obsessing – hell I'm jealous." She winked.

I smiled and sighed, "Alright. I guess you are right."

She nodded, "I know I am. Now what do you want to get first?"

I raised my eyebrows and after a momentary pause said, "Beth, I really have no idea what all I need to get. You're going to have to help me out big time here."

She smiled and gave her hands a little clap together, "Just what I was wanting to hear. OK shall we start with lingerie?"

I winced, "Do we have to?"

She giggled, "Yes come on, let's get the most embarrassing part over and then you can enjoy yourself."

We went into Pretty Woman, a shop I can safely say I had never been in ever before in my life. I was worried that someone was going to hit an alarm button and shout that there was some sort of pervert man in the shop, but of course that didn't happen. The assistant who served us gave no indication that she thought I was anything other than how l looked. She measured my bra size for me and I did find it a little embarrassing. Apparently I was a 36D. I did feel a little self conscious and almost cursed Jools and Beth for giving me such large breasts but I had to admit to myself that I was becoming quite partial to them. I tried to rationalise it: most guys like large breasts. Yes, but not on themselves, an annoying little voice said inside my head. I ignored it. We gathered a collection of different styles and colours of bras, stockings, pantyhose, nightdresses and panties. I was extremely glad for Beth's help as I wouldn't have had a clue. But she educated me at every step as to the different choices and reasons for choosing them. When it came to paying, I realised that I had no money or anything in my purse that I could pay with. Beth caught on to what I was thinking, "Don't worry," she murmured, "We can sort it out later, it's all taken care of for now." She handed over her credit card. I made a mental note that I must make sure I sorted both her and Jools out for the expense they had already gone to.

We then headed to a modern boutique across the mall. I browsed through the racks of clothes with Beth. It was really quite amazing the variety and different styles of clothing that women could choose from. In a sense it was quite simple for men: shirts and slacks. Not much variation really. But this was different, each rack brought a new style, texture, colour, length. Perhaps this was why women found shopping more interesting than men. I had to admit that I was fascinated to a degree, and somewhat overwhelmed. I was glad Beth was with me as she interjected little hints and tips when I was looking at various items. "Too frumpy." "Too old for you." "Too young for you." "Too tarty" I tried to see if I could spot the patterns that identified these flaws but I wasn't too sure that I could. We did pick out a number of items: tops, blouses and skirts. As we took them towards the changing room I had a sudden rise of panic. It felt wrong to be heading into the ladies' changing rooms. But as we were about to go in, I saw myself in the long mirror outside and felt reassured by my appearance. Beth came in with me to help me. I tried on everything and it must have taken about 20 minutes at least. Must be why women take longer at shopping I mused to myself. Most of the tops were quite tight fitting and most of the skirts were on the shorter side.

I mentioned this to Beth and she grinned at me, "Well Cara, we aren't dressing you for you to be a nun, or a business executive. The way we figure it you should get used to flattering clothing that will suit your image. Not cheap or hooker-like, but certainly sensual and attractive."

As I checked out the latest outfit on myself I think I could see what she meant. It was a black knit polo neck with a short black and white checked skirt. It was flattering and sensual. I felt myself getting turned on and felt mortified although I was sure Beth wasn't aware of anything. She did smile at me though.

"You like it, don't you?" she asked softly.

I laughed, "Is it that obvious?" Hoping that it wasn't obvious in the way that I was feeling lower down.

She nodded, "You don't have to be ashamed of liking and wanting to look good."

I grinned, "Yes I like it. It feels nice, it looks nice – what's not to like?"

We left the store with the top and skirt and headed on to the next one. After visiting a few more stores, we were becoming more and more laden down with bags and had collected up about 5 or 6 new outfits including several jackets and coats. I realised that we hadn't bought any pants and remarked on this to Beth.

She giggled, "Well yes, I was wondering when you would notice. It's not that you're never going to wear any pants of course, but Jools and I reckoned you should become completely at ease in skirts and dresses first. I mean you know how to wear pants already."

I nodded and grinned, "Yet again, you have a point. But I haven't bought any dresses?"

"Yet!" Beth added as she wheeled me into another shop. "Now then," she continued, "if the lady wants a new dress, the lady gets a new dress." She giggled and so did I.

We looked through the racks until Beth gave a little squeal.

"Found something?" I asked.

"Oh yes," she said holding up a jersey dress which was mostly black except for a white band around the middle.

I raised an eyebrow, "Why is it white like that in the middle?"

"Come on and try it on and let's see," she said.

We went back to the changing rooms and I tried it on. It was a lycra and wool mix and it clung to my figure. The white band accentuated my narrow waist and contrasted against the black which outlined my breasts above it. It did look very fetching I admitted to myself. I admitted this to Beth also. Needless to say, we bought it.

By this stage, I was getting tired and as comfortable and lovely as my boots were, my feet were getting sore. Beth looked a little tired too. "Are we done?" I asked.

She grinned at me ruefully, "I wish we were, but we still have to do the shoe stores."

I sighed and she continued, "Although we could stop for a quick coffee and sit down?"

I was all for that, so we headed for the food court and I gratefully rested my feet and relished the taste of the bitter coffee. We chatted about this and that – mainly clothes actually. I didn't know that much about women's clothing yet, but I certainly knew a lot more now than I did before and I was learning all the time. I noticed a man in a black suit sitting at a table several tables away. He seemed to be looking over at me occasionally and then looking away if I would look up. Beth had her back to him. I leaned forward almost conspiratorially and whispered, "Beth there is a man back there and I think he is checking me out."

She giggled and whispered back, "Really? OK, here's what to do, to see if he is watching you for definite: uncross your legs, stretch and then shift around a little in your seat and then slowly cross your legs again. Watch for his reaction."

"I can't do that," I hissed back at her.

"Course you can, come on, do it!"

I sighed and then sat up straight and stretched catlike, raising my arms up into air and then uncrossed my legs, repositioned myself on my chair and then slowly crossed my legs over again, pulling my skirt down as I had been taught. I sneaked a sideways glance over at the man and saw his eyes fixated on my legs. I almost sniggered and then he caught me looking at him and he smiled at me before looking away embarrassedly. I told Beth about the effect I had on him and she giggled and snuck a glance at him despite my protests.

"Oh he's cute, well dressed, rich," she whispered back animatedly.

I shrugged, "Well I don't know about the cute part, I don't think I can judge that." I wasn't attracted to him, that thought was almost repulsive. But I did feel a certain rush from knowing the effect I had on him.

I looked up and then leaned towards Beth, "Oh my god!" I hissed.

"What is it?"

"He's getting up and coming this way, I think he's coming over, what do I do?" I hissed urgently.

She had no time to reply though as he paused alongside our table. He was looking at me with a sheepish smile on his face. He was wearing a black tailored suit, white shirt with maroon tie. He was tall with short black hair. He coughed and I looked up. I smiled reflexively.

He spoke, "I'm sorry, I think I owe you an apology."

I raised an eyebrow, "An apology?"

He shrugged and looked a little awkward, "Well it's just that you know, well I was staring at you and I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I almost couldn't help it, it's just that, well I'm sure you know, but you are very attractive."

I felt my cheeks go warm and I sort of bit my lower lip and blinked a few times with my head slightly lowered. I looked back up at him and smiled again, "Umm, thank you and it's OK, I didn't feel uncomfortable."

He gave me a broad smile and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just sort of waved and said, "Alright then. Err goodbye," before turning and walking off.

I turned my attention back to Beth who was grinning at me from ear to ear.

"What?" I said defensively.

She slowly shook her head and smiled, "You really have no idea do you?"

I shook my head with a puzzled expression so she continued, "That shy little smile, flutter the eyelids, look down thing that you did? It totally worked like a charm on him."

I protested, "I wasn't doing any shy little thing, I just didn't know what to do." I paused, "I've never, well obviously, I've never had a guy talk to me like that and I don't know how to react."

She laughed, "Well, you're learning fast. That shy innocent response is a killer girl and he was dying to ask you out."

I gasped, "He was not…" but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

She gave me a knowing look and then grabbing the bags, began to stand up, "Come on and let's go get some sexy shoes for you."

We went to a fairly classy shoe store. "Is this place not a bit expensive?" I asked her softly as we entered.

She nodded, "Yes it is, but to be honest, for shoes you really get what you pay for and I've found it's not worth skimping. You get cheap shoes, they feel like cheap shoes and they look like cheap shoes. And you'll not wear them much."

I nodded and added that titbit to the store of information I had been building up all day. We browsed about a bit and Beth pointed out a few pairs of shoes. Some black court shoes with a small heel, a nicer pair with platform heels and then a classy black patent pair of pumps with a 4-inch heel. I sat down and tried them on. The court shoes fit well and were easy to walk in; the platform heels weren't too bad either. I felt a bit unsteady in the high heels and mentioned this to Beth. She told me to look in the mirror at how they made my legs look. I looked and I think I saw what she meant. They made my legs look even longer, the curves more defined, my calves looked more sculpted. I liked it.

"With legs like yours, you are made for high heels," Beth said and rolling her eyes, "my goodness, I could really get an inferiority complex alongside you."

I laughed knowing she was partly teasing me, "I see what you mean Beth. They aren't the most comfortable and I still feel a bit unsteady, but I guess I could get used to them."

She nodded, "We'll practice more and more in higher heels. You look so good in them, I want you to feel perfectly at ease in them."

We were going to pay for them, when a pair of boots caught my eyes. Beth noticed me pausing and followed my gaze. She gave a low whistle, "Sexy."

She was right, they were downright sexy. They were the sort of boots that if I had seen on an attractive woman, I would have had difficulty drawing my eyes away from her legs. They were black suede and looked like they would almost be knee high and they had a high almost stiletto heel on them. "Yes," I murmured, "very sexy."

Beth looked at me, "You want them don't you?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, I was just wondering how they would look on me."

She laughed, "Damn hot I think is the answer to that question."

I hesitated seeing the price tag, "Wow, they're incredibly expensive."

She put a hand on my arm, "Cara dear, compared to what we have spent overall today, it's a drop in the ocean. I think they would look fantastic on you and the way you are practically drooling over them, I know you totally want them."

I grinned at her, "Maybe I'll try them on and see how they fit."

Beth got the attention of an attendant – a young, male one. He went to see if they had my size and it seemed that we were in luck as he returned with a largish box. I slid the boots up my legs and they felt great as they hugged my calves. I had been right: they did come to just below my knees. I zipped them up and stood up. They were high too. I took a few steps carefully as I got used to them. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and felt a real rush of blood to my head. They looked great and I loved them. Perhaps it was the adrenaline rush that was to blame for what came next. I don't know why I did it.

I walked back over to Beth and the male attendant swinging my hips as Beth had taught me to, I read his name from his badge. "Colin," I said smiling sweetly, "what do you think? Do they look alright on me?" I fluttered my eyelids a few times. This time it was totally deliberate. Instantly a red flush crept up from under his collar and he stammered, "Uhh y-yes 'mam. They do look alright."

I gave a little pout and feigned disappointment, "Oh, only alright?"

He looked more flustered, "Umm, w-well, no 'mam, they actually look fantastic on you."

Beth was almost biting her tongue as she sought to contain her mirth. She nudged Colin and half-whispered, "It's OK, you can stop looking at her legs now."

Now I had to try and fight down the giggles. The poor boy looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. We put him out of his misery and told him we would take the boots. He scurried away to bag them and ring them through the till. Beth poked me in the ribs, "You are so bad."

I giggled, "I just can't believe it. A few smiles and bat the eyelids and they go to jelly? Are all men so pliable?"

She smiled and squeezed my arm, "No darling, only when the woman doing the smiling and eyelid batting is like sex-on-legs-with-boots."

I gasped and poked her back, "Now who's bad." We quietened down as Colin had returned with our bag and receipt. He looked sheepish. I smiled sincerely at him and thanked him for his help. His goofy smile in response almost made me burst out laughing as Beth and I made a beeline for the exit together.

 

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We headed home and dumped over a dozen bags in the hall.

"Been busy I see," Jools commented as she came out of the library.

"Too right we have," I replied, "I don't think I have ever shopped as much as that in my life."

"Enjoy it?" asked Jools curiously.

Before I had a chance to reply, Beth cut in, "Oh yes she did indeed, but I'll tell you about that over some food. We're famished."

And she did. As the three of us ate the casserole and rice that Mabel had left for us, Beth related all the details of the shopping trip. Particularly focussing in on how cute the man at the food court was and emphasising how foxy I was. I sat and smiled with a near permanent blush on my face as I let them jabber away.

Beth was heading out for the evening and I headed into the lounge to relax and watch some TV. Jools had another phone call to make, but she joined me not much later. She sat down and didn't say anything. She looked pensive. I noticed and muted the TV. "What's on your mind Jools?"

She smiled at me and shrugged. I knew from her expression though that she had something to say. "Come on Jools, out with it."

"OK," she said reluctantly. "Well I know I said I wouldn't ask, but I'm not asking you to be big brother or anything. But I do need to know. Are you taking the hormone pills?"

"I don't mind you asking so don't get all worried about it. Yes I am taking them," I replied matter-of-factly.

"Right," Jools said as she nodded. After a short pause she went on, "Well, you see, it's sort of like this. My doctor gave them to me sort of on one condition."

I sighed and smiled at her, "OK, come on, lay it on me."

She grinned ruefully, "Well she said she wouldn't normally give out treatment without seeing and examining the patient first, but she said she'd make an exception. However if 'my friend', that is you, decided to take the hormones, she wanted to examine you after the first 4 weeks of treatment and before any more treatment would be offered."

So that was it. I was going to have to see a doctor. I nodded slowly. "Alright, I guess that makes sense. Although I'm not over the moon about having to go and see a doctor about all this. But I guess if it had to be done. So what's your plan?"

Jools smiled, "Who says I have a plan?" When she saw the look on my face she laughed and said, "Alright. Here it is. We go to Sony on the morning of Monday 23rd and if things work out, that is if we get a deal, well I was sort of thinking you'd probably be thinking about continuing on with the hormones. So I have an appointment scheduled for the afternoon with Janice. If things don't work out with Sony and we are dropping this whole idea, well then we can always cancel."

"Janice?" I asked.

"Janice Carson. My doctor, she's an endocrinologist, but you probably gathered that. She's an old family friend and very easygoing."

I nodded, "Well OK, that sounds fine I guess. So if we do go to see her, we need to add her to the list don't we?"

"Yes. But don't worry about it, she's totally trustworthy and anyways as she will become your doctor, she will protect your confidentiality completely."

We chatted some more and watched a bit of TV. Although it was only just after 10 p.m, I felt exhausted. It must have been a combination of the early morning jog and the long afternoon shopping. I gave Jools a peck on the cheek and headed to bed. I took some time to hang my new clothes in my wardrobe and put my new 'delicates' away carefully in a drawer. It was quite an impressive array of clothes and must have cost a fortune. I had to admit that looking at the outfits I had bought, I felt a growing anticipation about wearing them all. When I fell into bed, it didn't take long before I fell asleep.

To be continued…

  

  

  

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