New Mom

by Cathy Evans

   

Chapter 1

My name is ... or was ... Jeffrey. I used to be an average teenager in an average family. That is until my Dad left us and moved to California. Only four months before Mom had given birth to my brother and sister. Twins, they were, born because my Mom tried one more time to keep the family together, to no avail.

When my real Dad left, Mom was forced to go back to work to support us (me, the babies and her), the house, etc. It wasn't easy for her by a long shot. At the time I was only 12. Mom had arranged with the school to have my work sent home to me so I could take care of the kids. I wasn't a great student, and rarely did my school or homework. I was alone with the babies until Mom got home around 7:00 every night and was in fact their "parent" for all they knew.

At the time, Mom was only 27. She and Dad were school sweethearts and I was the result of a prom night misjudgement. Nevertheless, I was the apple of Moms eye even if Dad chose to ignore me. Why I don't know and likely never will - but I suspect it had something to do with me being a total failure as an athlete like he was. Same old story, I guess. I don't think I was particularly feminine, but I was damned sure not very macho. I had basiclly no guy friends at all. A few of the girls in school talked to me from time to time but basically I was alone most of the time. As a result, I spent most of my time with Mom when she was home or off work, and did the things she did around the house when she wasn't. Truth to tell, I kinda enjoyed takng care of and nurturing the babies - they brought out a side of me I hid from my father. In fact, there were many times I held the kids and they acted like I was their mom. Not surprising since I looked so much like her, was the same size, etc.

The fact is ... my Mom and I looked like twins rather than Mother and son. Since I was born, family and strangers alike thought I was a girl. Come to think of it that may be another thing that drove my Dad away. Mom and I looked so much alike it was spooky. We had the exact same color hair (chestnut brown) and eyes (gray). At 15, we were the same size and build ... 5'4" and around 100 pounds. I had the same long, dark eyelashes as Mom, too. Since I never had the time or inclination to go to the barbers and get my hair chopped off into a crewcut like Dad wanted, my hair was now just past my shoulders. Cooincidently, just like Moms - the only difference being hers was always shampooed, shiny, and like silk while mine was wild and ungroomed. Neither did I pay much attention to my clothes. Whatever was reasonably clean was good enough. Not that Mom liked things this way, but I was mostly alone, so ....

Then something happened that brought significant changes to our lives.

The kids were now about a year old. They looked at me as more the mommy than my Mom was, since they spent more time with me as their nurturer. There was something missing, though, because when the kids were in one of those moods kids have, nothing would calm them down like having Mommy cuddle with them. Maybe it was her smell, or whatever, but facts were facts.

One day was a particularly bad one. The kids were bothered by something and would not stop crying. Nothing I did would calm them down and their crying was making me crazy and feeling helpless. Then I had an idea. A strange one, maybe, but the only solution I could come up with. I decided to become "Mommy". Why not, I thought? We looked like twins. Our voices were very similar. We were the same size and build. Maybe it would work.

I admit to having chills of excitement as I tucked the kids into their cribs and went upstairs to Moms room. Walking in I quickly took in her scent. Maybe that was the key? Standing in the middle of her room - in her private space - I closed my eyes and thought about what I planned to do. I was excited mentally and physically. I took a deep breath and began to undress. Very quickly I was naked. Looking around Moms room - where I had spent so much time with her since my Dad left - I took in the smells. I walked into Moms private bathroom and turned on the water to the tub and poured in a few scoops of her favorite bath crystals. I did everything automatically, having spent so much time here with her doing the same things. While the tub was filling I walked to her large closet and stood still among Moms clothing. I pressed my face against the soft and silky dresses and felt them against my body. Turning, I walked to Moms dressing table and sat down - staring at myself in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my long hair and focused on the startling similarity between my face and Moms. Yes, I thought, I can do this. More than that, I wanted to do this!

I walked back to the bathroom and took a few large towels from the closet, then I stepped into the soaking tub full of hot water and fragrant suds. I settled back and closed my eyes, and let the sweet smlling water cover me. I almost fell asleep, having had little sleep the last few days. I took Moms bottle of shampoo and washed my hair twice, following the directions. Then I used her conditioner and rinsed well with fresh water. Already, my hair felt better than ever before. Maybe the grunge look wasn't so hot after all? Luckily I had almost no hair on my body, so that wasn't a consideration. After a half hour or so I drained the tub down and turned on the shower to rinse off completely. I now smelled just like Mom, and my hair - though hanging loosely and damp - was really nice. I took one of the large towells and wrapped it around me, and walked over to the wall mirror. Not surprisingly, I looked much like Mom did when she got out of the bath. Taking a smaller towell, I dried my hair taking care not to get it tangled. The conditioner helped a lot there. I'd have to remember to condition more often! I then took Moms wide toothed comb and combed it through, parting off to the side like Mom. With only a trim my hair would look exactly like Moms, but I had no time for that today. Another time?

Whatever, my plan was more immediate.

I walked to moms bureau and took a simple pair of her panties. As much as I wanted to dress totally as Mom just to see how it felt, I didn't need to do that to fix the twins problem. Disregarding a bra, I then took a full slip and slipped it over my head. Next, I walked to the closet and selected a simple dress and slipped into it. I tried not to think about how good Moms clothes felt on my body, or how "right" I felt dressed this way. I could hear the twins crying louder now, so I brushed my hair quickly and rushed down the stairs and into their room.

Reaching into their cribs, I held both twins against me. Remarkably, they immediately quieted down as if Mom was holding them. They both buried their faces into my chest and promptly fell asleep. I held them a while and spent the time considering what had happened. Though barely a teenager myself, I understood what happened instinctively. They smelled their Mom and reacted as if I was her. I liked the feeling.

I put the twins back in their cribs and stood silently for a few minutes to make sure they were fast asleep. I had checked their diapers, and there being some moisture I had changed and powdered both. They stirred briefly but still smelled their Mom and fell soundly asleep quickly. I took the opportunity to go back to Moms room and contemplate the days events.

I walked slowly into Moms room and sat down at her dressing table and stared at myself in the mirror. Without thining, I brushed my fingers through my now smooth and silky hair. It felt and smelled so much better than before and it became clear to me that things would have to change. I needed a good cut, and I needed to take better care of my hair. I stared at my face and it was immediately apparent I was the image of my Mom. I had spent so much time with Mom since Dad left that I new exactly what to do with the table full of makeups and things. I picked up Moms favorite lip color and brushed it on my lips. The effect was immediate. I then picked up one of the many brushes and brushed some blush on my cheeks using the same technique that Mom used. It was remarkable how just a few items made me look so much more like Mom. Going a bit further, I picked up Moms mascara and lightly applied it to my long lashes. That alone made a tremendous difference to my face. My hair was by now fully dry, so using Moms brush I began brushing my hair the way she did - tossing it over my head and brushing from the back to give it fullness and then tossing my head back. The effect was to give my hair a loot of lift an a natural curl under on the ends. I was carefull to part on the right side and brush my hair across my face partially covering my left eye. Anyone would be hard pressed to tell it was me or my Mom sitting there, and I delighted in the feeling. I can only imagine what my Dad would have said if he saw me this way! Maybe he was right - I should have been a girl all along.

Looking at Moms clock I saw I had at least 6 hours before Mom was due home. I stared at myself in the mirror another few minutes before making up my mind. I wanted to see how much like Moms daughter I could look. taking a breath, I stoo up and walked to moms Bureau once more. I slipped out of the pretty full slip and selected a pretty bra and panty set from Moms drawer and easily fastened it around my chest the way I had seen Mom do it - from behind. I took a few pair of Moms stockings to stuff the cups until they were reasonably firm. I then pulled the panties up my legs and immediately noticed excitement when I pulled them tight over my penis. I then walked to the closet to see what I would next put on. So many beautiful clothes to select from. Rather than go all out, I decided to select something casual, like Mom might wear every day when not working. I remembered an outfit she wore alot that I loved on her. It was a pretty yellow pleated skirt, usually worn with either a t-shirt or sweater, depending on the time of year. Since I was not going outside, I decided to try a sleeveless white bloiuse with a collar. I again slipped the full slip on and then the blouse. Naturally it fit perfectly and felt great. I then stepped into Moms skirt, zipped it up and slid it around to the back like Mom had done so many times. It also fit perfectly. I had seen Mom putting on special stocking may times and looked in her drawer for the ones I wanted. They came up just over the knee and stayed on their own. I found a pair that were a biege color and slid them over my legs. They felt s nice compared to the socks I was used to. I then looked in the closet for a pair of shoes I thought I could walk easily in, and found a nice white pair of sandals with a low heel, slipped them on and buckled the straps, and stood. I found I could walk easily in the 1" heel and they too fit perfectly.

I walked around Moms room and watched myself in the large wall mirror. I loved how soft and airy the clothes felt, and how my hair bounced about my face as I moved my head. The straggly hair that once drove me crazy keeping out of my face now felt wonderful falling over my ears and neck. When I looked down, my hair now fell in soft waves over my cheeks and face. I decided then and there that the greasy grunge look was over for good. I really loved how it looked and felt now and hoped Mom would too. Staring into the mrror I shook my head like I had seen girls do so many times. Like theirs, my hair fell gently back into shape. I clossed my eyes and took it all in - the feel, the smells. The slip and skirt felt so wonderful on my body like the silky panties felt on my privates. I sat at her dressing table again, being careful to slide my hand under my skirt like Mom did and smoothed it around my legs. Staring again into the mirror through partly closed eyes, I pursed my lips as though I was kissing someone. I again shook my head and watched my hair dance areound my face. It was awesome how it fell so easily. It was so soft and silky. It was like Mom was hugging me and her hair brushed against my face.

I stood again and decided to walk through the house and check on the twins again. The feel of my skirt and slip against my stockings as I walked was wonderful. It felt natural to me, like I should be dressed this way. I walked into the twins room and stood quietly watching them sleep. Christine stirred briefly and opened her eyes, so I reached into her crib and picked her up and held her against me. Her mouth immediately reached for where my nipple would be if not for the bra and blouse, and her mouth began pursing as if she was sucking at her Moms breast. I suddenly felt deprived - like being a male cheated me out of the closeness a child had with its mother. I thought about my own feeling when Mom held me and how nice it was to be comforted and give comfort. I bent my head to kiss my little sister on her cheek and noticed how my hair fell over my face and over Christines face too. She sighed and with her little lips still moving closed her eyes and fell back to sleep. Placing her gently back into her crib I looked next at Christopher. He remained asleep and I reached out with my hand and gently touched his face. It occurred to me that the twins too looked more like sister/sister than brother/sister. Just like me and Mom, only they looked more like dads family.

I walked into the den and sat on the couch to consider my day. I still had a few hours before Mom was to return home from work. As I sat, I wrapped my arms around myself and noticed how natural it felt to have breasts in the way of my arms. Everything felt like it belonged. My hair, the feel and smell of my makeup ... everything. It all just felt right, and I loved the way it felt. I wasn't sure yet why. Maybe this was something my Dad saw in me that made him hate me - made him leave Mom and us kids. I wondered what Mom would think. I was soon to find out. More tired than I thought, I fell asleep instead of getting something ready for dinner when Mom returned.

I woke up the next morning. Still on the couch, and still dressed in Moms clothes. I was startled somewhat to wake there and took a second to get my bearings. Yes - it was morning. Someone had covered me with a blanket. That someone could only have been Mom. Now I'm in trouble, I thought. What was Mom going to say? How could I face her dressed like this? Apparently she wasn't too upset or she would have wakend me last night and yelled, or whatever. Well ... time to face the music, I guess.

I got up and walked into the kitchen, since I smelled bacon and eggs cooking. I guess Mom wasn't too upset at coming home and finding me asleep - not to mention dressed in her clothes. She stood at the stove as I walked in and turned when she heard my heels on the tile floor. I was ready for anything.

"Good morning, sweetheart", she said softly. "Would you like something to eat" She held out her arms to me and I walked slowly, expecting more to be said about my apearence. There was nothing. I walked into her open arms and put mine around her and my head on her shoulder.

"Mom, I'm so sorry...", I whispered.

"It's okay, darling - there's nothig to be sorry about." she whispered back as she ran he fingers through my hair and squeezed me tightly. "If anything I should apologize to you for putting so much on you at your age."

Mom was already dressed and must have been up a while. Her hair was brushed almost exactly like mine. She too was wearing a simple full skirt and blouse. It was like looking at myself in the mirror. We stepped back a bit from each other - about an arms length away - and just looked at each other. Mom reached out with one hand and touched my cheek gently, then brushed my hair back off my face a bit. She smiled and whispered.

"It's really quite amazing how much we look alike, isn't it, my love? Your hair looks wonderful for a change", she giggled lightly. Sensing I thought she was laughing at me, she pulled me into her arms again. "It's okay, darling. I'm not laughing at you. I'v wondered for a long time what you would look like if you were my daughter rather than my son. Now I know, and I'm so happy you found out as well."

I stepped back a bit again and Mom held my arms.

"Mom ....." I whispered, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, sweetheart", she answered, "I understand. Do you think you're the first boy who has ever tried on his Moms clothes just to see what it's like? I bet you wouldn't find many who haven't!"

"So you're not mad at me?" I asked softly.

"Of course not, Jeff" she said. "There is nothing to be mad about. By the way ... you look absolutely adorable. You hair looks wonderful, too, for a change. Are you going to keep it nice like that for good? I hope so." She casually ran her fingers through my hair as she spoke.

"I think so, Mom. I really like it this way. Is it okay with you, ten?"

"Absolutely, dear. It looks so pretty this way. I'll help you if you want. You can have it trimmed by my salon if you want, too."

"But ... what about how I'm dressed, Mom?" I whispered.

"What about it? You look very nice, and you obviously inherited your mothers taste" she giggled. "I'm sure you have a reason why you decided to try on my things, so what's the big deal? It certainly doesn't bother me, and it doesn't surprise me either."

"You don't want to know why, Mom?"

"If you want to tell me, fine. If not - that's fine too. If you feel like trying my clothes on again, go right ahead. I don't see anything wrong with it. Boys experiment all the time. Big deal. Come on, now ... sit down and eat your breakfast, and if you want to talk more we'll talk."

"Should I go change first, Mom?" I said.

"That's up to you, honey. Do you feel uncomfortable dressed like that in front of me? Because I don't."

"No, I don't, Mom, and that kinda bothers me."

"I already knew the answer to that, Jeff." she answered. I could see you were not only not embarrassed, but seemed to be completely comfortable in those clothes. Dare I ask what you have on under the skirt and blouse, honey" she said with a twinkle in her eye. "Well, maybe later. Now sit down and let's eat. I'm famished!"

I noticed Mom was watching my every move as I walked to the table and sat down. I walked slowly, and for some reason my hips swayed girlishly. I smoothed my skirt as I sat and sat up straight - unlike my usual boyish slouch. I thought I saw a small smile on Moms lips as she watched. She watched me closely as we ate.

"It's amazing how your entire personality changes when you are dressed like that, Jeff." she said.

"What do you mean, Mom" I said, although I knew exactly what she meant. She was right. I moved, spoke, everything ... just like Mom did, and did it totally without thinking about it. It was totally natural, and it scared me.

"Well", she said, "you don't act like my son Jeff, basically - you act like my daughter Jessica. And I like it"

"Jessica?" I asked

"Yes, Jessica" she answered. If you were born a girl, that's what your name was going to be. Jessica Anne. Like it? It's defiitely more fitting tha Jeff when I see you like this."

"Yes I do like it, Mom. Would you have been happier if I was born a girl? I bet Dad would have - he always hated me as a boy"

"Honey, your Dad had some issues he had trouble handling. He was one of those dads who expected his son to be a clone of himself. It's not your fault, so don't blame yourself. It's also unrealistic. For my part .... I don't really know what I preferred. Most women want a girl they can play games and dressup with. You know - be girls together. It's almost as natural as dads who expect their sons to be great athletes. But we also love our sons. Boys are just different, and moms sometimes have as much trouble understanding boys as men do understanding daughters. What made it harder for your father was how much we looked alike. You were so beautiful when you were a baby and toddler - not that you aren't still, mind you! Your father had a lot of trouble with so many strangers always saying "what a pretty little girl" you were. Nobody believed you weren't a girl! It drove him crazy! Then the twins came along and they looked like twin girls and it started all over again. I'm not making excuses for him, but I guess it was more than his masculine pride could handle. Now ... you were going to tell me what brought this about?"

I nodded and brushed the hair ouff my face. Mom noticed and smiled at how girlish it looked. "It was the twins, Mom"

"Go on", she whispered.

"They were crying and wouldn't stop. They never did that before - I didn't know what to do."

Mom simply nodded for me to continue.

"Well ... I thought about how much I looked like you. I was wondering if the twins would notice. I tried just brushing my hair more like yours and it didn't work. Then I thought it must be the way you smell - they recognized you that way. So I went to your closet and tried on one of your dresses ... and it worked! I held the and they immediately went back to sleep!"

"Okay", mom whispered, "but you're not wearing my dress - I found it on the floor, by the way - you're what looks to me like fully dressed in my clothes. Your legs look amazing in my stockings, by the way. Do they feel as nice as you imagined?"

She had me now. I was caught. I sighed deeply..."Okay .... after the twins went back to sleep I decided I really liked how your clothes felt. I went back upstairs to your room. I didn't tell you that before I got dressed the first time I took a bath with your crystals and used your shampoo and conditioner. That was part of the smell thing."

"Yes, I know" Mom just whispered. "Go on.."

"Well ... like I said, I really liked how everything felt and smelled and stuff. I liked my hair for the first time - it was so soft and easy to brush! So I decided I would like to try some other things on and see how they felt. So I did, and I guess I fell asleep, and you came home and found me, and ...."

"Okay, Mom said, "so you came up with this idea for the kids - not for your own enjoyment. Then you found out you enjoyed it too, for other reasons."

I nodded yes.

"So I repeat ... big deal! So you liked the way my clothes felt on your skin. So do most women, and by the way, so do most men who try it for all kinds of reasons! Face it ... mens clothing isn't comfortable and doesn't feel nice. Womens is and does! You were curious about makeup and tried a little of that too. So what ... every guy who is on television or in the movies wears more makup every day than most women wear. Most even wear it when they go out because it makes them look better. Again ... so what! Jeff, honey .... I don't care and neither should you. You can wear anything I have anytime you want. I'll even help you if you want! You are what you are and I love you and always will."

And that was how it started for me ... Jessica. Telling about every time after that that I dressed in Moms clothes or that she helped me dress up would take pages and pages. But I thin you get the idea and can see how what came later fit together. This chapter of our lives lasted about 2 years. Then everything changed.

Chapter 2 ....

Mom started talking about this nice guy she met at work and asking how I'd feel about her dating again. My mom was a beautiful and lively woman and I thought getting out again would do her good. I told her so, and seeing her pretty face (my face) light up made me happy. Mom again started taking more time with her appearence. She was gorgeous, in my opinion. Apparently her new friend thought so too, and he started coming around the house.

I immediately took a shine to Steve because he treated me better than my Dad ever did. He was non-judgemental about my obvious lack of macho virtues and spent time with me as a father would his son. He took me shopping for some nicer clothes and even suggested I see my Moms hair stylist to at least get my hair in shape, rather than demanding I get a crewcut. He loved to play with the twins. Unlike my Dad, Steve was not in the least embarrassed to touch me when we talked or put his arm around me when we walked together. For the first time, I felt like someone other than my Mom cared about me. There was even a time when he came for a visit unannounced and saw "Jessica" walking down the hall to "her" room. He didn't make any comments after Mom just shook her head and put her finger in front of her lips and went "shsssh".

Then one night Steve took Mom and me out to dinner at a nice restaurant. We got a babysitter for the twins because they were still too young at 2 years old to understand. Unlike my Dad, Steve gave me a menu and told me to get whatever I wanted for dinner, and not to bother looking at the prices. I had never had a really good steak before so that's what I ordered, along with a big potato and green beans. It was the best meal I'd ever eaten! When the waiter came for desert, Steve again said to order whatever I wanted. I had no idea what most of the things were so he suggested I would enjoy the cherries jubilee. He and Mom had some fancy kind of coffee and watched me wolf down about the greatest dessert I had ever seen let alone tasted. I noticed Steve was holding Moms hand as they talked quietly and she looked positively alive and happy. It was good to see for a change. When I was finished, Steve said he would like to talk to me about something very important to my Mom and him.

"Jeff ... I guess you know by now that I am very much in love with your Mom? I also know that you two have been pretty much on your own since your Dad left and you have been the man in her life and pretty much dad to your brother and sister. I want to change all that. I would like to ask your permission to marry your Mom. We've discussed it recently and want to be together - but I really want your approval since what I had planned affects you too."

Sensing he had my attention and wanted to know more he put his arm around my shoulderrs and continued...

"Jeff ... I've grown very fond of you and the twins. I'd like to know how you'd feel about my adopting you and the twins when I marry your Mom. I know it's a big step for you .. taking my last name like your Mom will - if you want to - and being my son, but I'd be proud if you'd consider it and agree. It is entirely up to you, but it would make your Mom and me very happy if you did."

Wow, I thought, Steve really cared about me and wanted me to be his son! And he wanted to marry my mom and adopt the twins as his own!

"Jeff ... want you to know that even though I love your Mom very much and want to marry her - I will not do so if you don't approve. I have to tell you honestly that we will continue to see each other but will no live together. I also want you to know that I have been fortunate enough to have a sizeable income and estate - which means that neither your Mom or you will ever have to worry about money again. I want your Mom - and you - to live a good life like you are entitled to live. What do you say?"

Just seeing the look in Moms eyes told me everything I needed to know. I looked at my Mom and smiled and saw how happy she was. I could tell Steve meant every word.

"I want my Mom to be happy again. If this is what she wants .... sure ... Dad"

So Mom cried, Steve hugged us both and cried, and I cried. I never felt so happy and wanted before. A month later Steve and Mom were married and I was the Maid of Honor, wearing the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. Steve told me privately that it didn't matter to him if I preferred to live -full or part time - as either Jeff or Jessica as long as mom approved and I was happy. For the wedding, Steve treated mom and me to a full day at the most exclusive salon in town where we got manicure and pedicures, a massage, facials (so wonderful!), and of course a complete hair and makeup makeover. I finally felt whole, with my hair done so beautifully in an updo exactly like moms and made up like a beauty queen.

After the ceremony - attended by only a few close friends - I hugged Steve close and thanked him for making mom and me so happy and promised I'd be a good daughter or son to him. I was surprised when he said that he and mom had talked, and both agreed that they would prefer to see Jessica moreso than Jeff. He lightly kissed me on the lips.

"You're a beautiful and sexy woman now, Jessica. Your mom and I think you realize moreso than us that this is the life you prefer and were destined for. We support you 100%, and whatever it takes to make you what you want to be is yours for the asking. In fact you don't have to ask - your smile tells me right now that your mind is made up. I have more than enough money to cover any expenses, so whatever you want I would be happy to do for you."

I was stunned and started to cry softly as Steve hugged me tightly and mom kissed my cheek and carressed my hair.

"I don't know what to say, Steve", I whispered softly. "How can I ever repay you for this?"

"You don't have to repay me for anything, sweetheart!" he said. "Just love me and your mom, and try to emulate this beautiful woman who gave you life. That's all I ask of you, my beautiful daughter. Now .... I can't see a need for any surgery to beautify your face - it's already more beautiul than most girls and the image of your mom. What more could a daughter ask? You mom suggested that as a wedding gift we take you for a pair of breast implants, if that's what you would like to start with. If you agree, I will get an appointment for you with the best surgeon in the state."

"Oh daddy, thank you!" I screamed with delight, "I love you so much! I will be the best daughter to you and mommy in the whole world. I want to be the same size as mommy so we can share all our beautiful clothes forever!"

As mommy smiled watching me hug and kiss my new daddy, I felt daddy's response to my kisses and hugs. Daddy was getting a huge stiffy! Did mommy know how daddy really felt about his new daughter, or what he would expect from her as thanks? I supposed I would find out soon enough In the meantime, I just kissed him again (adding a little tongue), pressed my hips against his growing stiffy, and said "Ohhhhhh ... daaaddy!"

continued ..............

  

  

  

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