New Experiences

by

Lisa Elizabeth

 

After having a makeover, in December of 2002, I reflected on the meaning of bringing 'Lisa' to life. Most of you reading this will understand. There is something very powerful about completely dressing as the 'girl' inside. I wrote a story about that experience, titled 'My Makeover', so I will not go into details of that experience here.

I will, however, continue from the point where I finished that story up to now. I spent a lot of time looking at myself and decided in February 2003 to make a 'lifestyle' change. No! I'm not going to transition! I am happy being male. I had gained a lot of weight due to a medical problem and decided it was time to stop fighting my weight and actually do something about it. Previously, the Atkin's Diet worked very well for me, so I made a decision that I would live a 'Low Carb' lifestyle until I achieved the size I desired. My wife is supportive and the results so far have been fantastic, but I digress.

On a trip up to the Chicago area for a reunion, I asked my wife if she would like to meet Rori. Rori is the owner of the shop that did my makeover the previous December. She agreed and we arranged to arrive at the Arlington Heights store early enough to say 'Hi'. My wife ended up not only meeting Rori but Janet and Renee as well. We also did a little shopping and came away with a Christmas present for my sister and a new cover-up for my wife.

We left for the reunion and had a good time there. During the drive home, my wife looked at me and said, "When you lose all the weight you want, I'd be willing to come up here for a 'Girl's Night Out'! You, me and maybe Janet for dinner and a show?"

To say I was stunned would be an understatement! This is like every tg person's dream come true! A spouse willing to go out with you while you are 'en femme' to dinner and a show. It took me a few minutes to collect my thoughts and not crash the car. In retrospect, I don't think I really knew what to say. I did agree that it would be okay to do that and we set a timetable for one year. This would allow me the time I needed to lose the weight I wanted to lose. I don't think I came across as a babbling idiot, but you never know...

In actuality, little was said for about a month after that. We were busy with other things in our life and I figured I had some time to reshape my body. My wife, on the other hand, felt that we needed to figure out things like makeup, proper colors, clothing style, hair, jewelry, lingerie, boobs etc. So we began in July trying different makeup and foundations to see what we could do with me. This is a very different thing for me. I know from doing the makeover last December that my personal obsession with crossdressing no longer exists. I had originally figured, go to Chicago, have a makeover from Rori and go out for one night, end of story! That was not to happen. We decided that to make the night more enjoyable I should make 'girl lessons' part of the deal. This means my wife helped, coached and corrected me on walking, sitting, standing, entering and exiting a car, letting a male open doors and how to eat like a lady. Along with practicing makeup techniques and becoming proficient at applying my own makeup. It took many evenings to figure things out. I tried six or so shades of red, just to find the one that cancels out the blue-black of my beard. I also looked carefully at all the ladies I met during the day, noting voice, language, clothing styles, makeup and hairstyles. It took a few months for things to be sorted out in my mind. But I finally decided I just wanted to look like a lady in her mid forties out for an evening.

We finally settled on Dermablend, as a foundation. It leaves a matte finish and doesn't feel like you used a trowel to cover the beard shadow. I'm sure there are a lot of products that will work; this is the first one that does the trick for me. Then we found that I am an 'autumn' in color, so all the warm and neutral colored cosmetics work for me! We played two or three nights a week trying to come up with a decent 'Day-time' look. It is amazing how much time and work it takes to make it look like you aren't wearing makeup! We used pictures in a turban to try to see where the makeup was headed. This is not a substitute for hair! A wig makes a big difference in how you see or don't see the makeup, believe me! I look at the pictures in the turban, then look at the same makeup with a wig on. What a tremendous difference!

Anyway, we were invited to a wedding on a Friday night. This gave us the following Saturday to do some shopping. We made an appointment at Transformations for some time to choose a wig. We also made plans to go to lunch with another CD, Janet. She was there to hold my hand during my December makeover. I thought it appropriate for her to go out with me on my first public trip as Lisa!

Jim and Soto were wonderful! They are Rori's sons and work at the stores. I had done some browsing through the wig section of E-bay, to get some ideas on hairstyles. It is a great place to get ideas for new hairstyles. I think some of the wigs would weigh a ton, but others are really cute. We narrowed it down to two wigs that looked pretty good. One was just at shoulder length with a flip all around the bottom. The other was a loose cut long shag, called a 'Jodi'. Both were dark brown, the Jodi has auburn highlights. It was my opinion along with everyone else that the 'Jodi' looked the best! Soto trimmed the bangs and set it properly for me to duplicate. I asked what he would improve on my makeup; he showed me how to further brighten my eyes! That did make a big difference. He added a brighter highlight to my cheekbones and then used a chocolate brown to make my eyes 'pop', it took away looking at the overall picture and centered your attention on my eyes. That is why I know, having the wig available would have made me see that the cheekbones were not highlighted enough. 'Thank You' Soto for the help! In addition, a big 'Thank You' to Jim for helping to select a wig.

When that was finished, we decided to go to lunch. This was a big step for me. The first time out in public as Lisa! We went to a restaurant on the corner from the store. Somehow, the word scared does not convey my emotions properly. Terrified? Manic with hysteria and paranoia? That might be closer… It turns out that the community is used to 'girls' being out and about and is very accepting of it. I wasn't attacked by angry mobs. No one brandished pitchforks or other sharp farm implements. No one yelled derogatory names. A couple of people looked twice and a small child seemed fascinated by something I wore. Otherwise, it was just a pleasant lunch with my wife and a friend!

It seemed over too quickly! I think the gallons of adrenaline pumping through my body may have had something to do with that. With a five-hour drive ahead of us, it was time to put Lisa away. I did stop and look at clothes. I found a really cute black skirt that would have gone well with my outfit but decided not to buy it since I am losing weight. By the time I would get to wear it, It would be way too large for me! Another time, when I am down to my 'cute' weight, no?

My wife and I headed out after saying our good-byes; the trip home seemed to pass quickly with everything from the day replaying in my head for the trip.

How do I feel now that I have been out as Lisa? Happy that I did go out. I have to recommend it to every girl that reads this. It is an experience you will never forget. I am glad to have found a wig that looks good. It means I now have hair to work on makeup and clothing styles with. I am now curious to see what I will look like when I get down another two pants sizes! (My goal is to remove the 'W' from my girl sizes!)

One thing I have noticed is that I would like to take some time to work on my make-up. I feel that with practice, I can become very good at doing it myself! YES, I am a control freak! I want to learn, not have it done for me all the time. Making mistakes and learning how to correct them is half the battle in learning about the person I have been given permission to explore. Going out is fun, being able to do it on your own terms and not just when a shop is open to help you, means more opportunities to go out. I truly love what Rori and her team can do for us. They really do open your eyes and show you what can be done. I had always had the image of a 'fat guy in a dress' as my view of Lisa. Rori, Jim and Soto have shown me that is not the case. There is a family resemblance but I still look like a middle-aged lady when all is said and done. They have developed a safe area in which CD's can go and enjoy an afternoon or evening out and not be harassed. For this, I am very grateful.

I still have to take my wife up on her offer of a 'girl's night out'. I will be selling or donating my current clothes as they get too large. This is not a purge, just my way of saying 'stay at your current size'. The weight loss continues. I see that it will be February or March when I am down to the size I want to be. It is then that Lisa will be out for the night! Watch out for three or more girls out for a night of partying!

Halloween has come and gone. Lisa did not get a chance to play that night. My wife and I run our own business and Halloween is End of Month for us. LOTS of paper work!

I had finished my part and my wife suggested I could go home. She hinted it would be okay to transform into Lisa. I had the evening at home, Halloween and knowledge that it would be okay to dress as Lisa. I went home thinking a shave, shower and transformation was at hand. It never happened! Sounds weird, huh? I thought so too.

Let me explain. I arrived home, went into the bathroom and took out my razor and shave cream. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided that it just wasn't going to be any fun without my wife to help or kibitz while I was transforming myself into Lisa. She gives me a very critical eye on proper shading and color selection. It is really nice to have someone honest enough to tell you when you choose a horrible eye or lip color. I also didn't have a clue where to go once I was dressed! So I shaved, but decided not to change or anything else. I prepared dinner for when my wife arrived home and we spent a quiet night snuggled together on the couch.

I asked myself many times over the next few weeks, 'WHY? Why didn't I dress? I mean Halloween is better than saying 'It's OK! I had Subway!' Yet, it is no longer something I have to do for myself. I think that is one of the more confusing parts of where I am in my life right now. I have the approval of my wife to dress and explore Lisa, yet I do not have the obsession to dress. It leads one to think of many questions, most of which just lead to more questions! I can honestly tell you, I would have never thought the events of the past year would have occurred, EVER! Nevertheless, they have and I think I have learned a lot from all that has happened. I have been able to explore what it means to be a t-girl in today's society. I do not have total understanding yet, but at least I have a sliver of that reality. I know that I do not dress just for the sake of dressing. At an earlier point in my life I did, but all that has changed. I now have a goal. To be as much a girl as possible so that when Lisa goes out, she is looked at as just another girl on the street. I can honestly tell you, there is a lot of hard work involved in doing that. Not just diet and exercise but attitude and mindset go along with it. There is also the point that the more often you go out, the more comfortable you are in going out. I have found that out for myself. I have seen that comment posted on message boards, but I never believed it until now.

I had a trip to Chicago in the first part of February 2004 and I arranged to go out with a CD friend for my second time out. I decided the best way was to go without my wife, sort of like, I'm a big girl now, thing… Being February in Chicago, we did go shopping for a nice warm sweater! I am now down to a XL in a misses size. This is much better than the 3X or 4X in the 'Women's' department I started out in a year ago. The outfit was conservative and warm! A cream colored sweater, a black skirt, black tights and platform heels. I wore a black lady's blazer over the sweater to dress it up a little and to add another layer of warmth.

The evening turned out to be a lot of fun! We did dinner at a local T-friendly restaurant. Then, chatted and freshened our makeup at my hotel room, and finally went for the evening to Hunter's Dance Club. There I met a number of other girls and had a great time chatting and talking over lots of topics. (Even had my butt patted once!)

The evening came to an end around midnight and I returned to the hotel to deconstruct Lisa and put her away.

Each time I have gone out, it causes a different view to come into play for me. I find that since it isn't an obsession to dress, I can look at others and myself without the filter of the fantasy. Maybe it's my need to be in control, I am not sure, but I find that this time out without my wife allowed me a lot more confidence in my ability to go out and about as Lisa. No one threw rocks or called out derogatory comments. I went out with Janet and we had a pleasant evening out visiting! It was a fun time.

February 28^th, 2004! It was Transformations by Rori's Mardi Gras Party! I had bought two tickets on the last trip to Chicago and my wife and I decided to go. We bought 'girl' masks and decided to do a bit more dramatic makeup to go with the mask! I have since found out that the masks for ladies set the eyes a little closer together than the ones made for males. I only discovered this AFTER I put the mask on at the party! The edge of the eye opening allowed my eyelashes to scrape on the sequins…. Talk about distracting! Other than that, it was a fun time.

I dressed rather conservatively for the party. A tiger print short sleeve top with a black skirt and black hose, My black blazer to add warmth and hide my lack of a waist! I am still losing weight and really hate to do much shopping until I get down to my goal size. The top I wore in September is getting too large for me. My bra is clipped all the way on the smallest hooks and is still too big! This, is a good sign, yes? The only thing that was truly a pain was the skirt I wore on Feb 7^th. I decided to wear it again, I mean a black skirt is a black skirt, right? Well, I must have lost some more weight in the three weeks between, because I spent a few trips going to the 'little girl's room' pulling my skirt back up so it wouldn't fall on the floor while I was dancing! It is a strange feeling to have your skirt get longer the more you are on your feet! Lot's of interesting people at a Mardi Gras! Some of the costumes were genuinely fantastic!

I personally thought it was a unique vision for one girl to wear all yellow! Yellow wig, top, overlay, hose and heels were all Tweety Bird Yellow! I was impressed, but the costume judges weren't! Oh well, no accounting for taste….

Since this was my first event as Lisa, I was probably more of a wallflower than I usually am. I met the people we sat with and a few others, but didn't walk around the room trying to meet and talk to everyone, which is what I do in male mode. Other than that, it was a fun time, the Female Impersonator show was good and the best part was making new friends!

I am not sure if this party was considered 'the girls night out' that my wife talked about in May of 2003! It was definitely a night out of all girls! So it may have qualified on that account, I just do not know.

On March 20, 2004, I attended a Tri-Ess meeting. My first as Lisa! I had attended one many years ago, in male mode only because I happened to be in town, it was purely coincidence at that time. This time I planned on attending! I found a seminar weekend I needed and the Tri-ess meeting was on the same weekend. Things like this do not happen often so I felt a need to take advantage of it. I e-mailed the contact on the chi Tri-Ess homepage and explained my situation, asking if they needed more information about me before I would be invited to attend. The e-mail I received back from Gloria was wonderful. She invited me to the meeting and gave me directions on where it was held. My seminar was only a 10-minute drive from there so I decided to stay at the hotel the Tri-ess meeting was being held in.

The seminar I attended was boring! A very dry topic, but necessary in this day and age. 4PM couldn't come soon enough! I went back to my hotel and transformed into Lisa. Now, even by myself, without my wife 'helping' it still took just under 2 hours to make myself beautiful. I made a note to myself to recheck the shade of Dermablend foundation I am using. I color matched back in September so here in March I don't have the suntan I did then. I think I may have to get a less 'tan' looking foundation for the winter months. I left my room and headed for the meeting. I stopped at the front desk for directions to the meeting room and was welcomed by Kate and DeeDee when I walked in.

There was a 'newbie' meeting for first time guests, which I attended with Carla, Lynn, Bobbi and Heather. A sort of roundtable discussion on how long, when started, if you have been out sort of informal thing in order to relax you if this was your first time out, as was the case with Heather.

The normal business meeting entailed all the VP reports you would expect, along with the treat of it being hobby night for members to show off things they did when not 'en femme'. That was an interesting collection of hobbies, from model railroading to designing lady's clothing! Quite a diverse group of people.

Eventually things wound down around 11 PM and people started to leave for wherever. About 11:30 I said my good-byes and headed back to my room, I had to be up at 6AM the next morning. I did send a thank you e-mail to the group after I arrived home. If I were closer than 5 hours I would seriously consider joining, they are a very nice group of people.

At any rate, Lisa has been put away for a while, since all my clothes are getting too large to wear. (Oversize clothing may be in but not on a lady of 50!) We will have to see how things go in the future as to whether Lisa gets to go for an 'official' girls night out or not. If I do, there will be a lot of shopping to do come this fall. I am not quite down to my goal in size, but five pant sizes are a lot of change. I see I will have to buy Lisa everything from the skin out by this fall, so it means lots of measuring and deciding on new sizes. If I do go shopping, I should be rid of the 'W' and be able to shop in the 'Misses' section of the stores! Lots more to choose from!

So that is what has happened since the story "My Makeover" was published over a year ago.

Will I go shopping this fall? Will Lisa go out for Halloween? Will there be a 'girls' night out in my future? I don't know the answers to these and many other questions, but I promise to keep you posted!

 

Lisa Elizabeth

  

  

  

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