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My Worst Day, then my best
Janet L. Stickney JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com
My folks were away for the weekend, and I took the opportunity to become what I always wanted to be. A girl. I had dressed up quite often over the years. After a lot of very bad tries, including atrocious makeup, hairy legs, and short hair mixed in with liberal amounts of fear, I had finally become pretty good. At least I thought so. Using things I read in some stories I had downloaded from the Internet, I had made my own breastforms out of the toe of a pair of pantyhose and some fine grained birdseed, like the kind you can get at the hardware store. It took forever to get it right it seemed, but after more than a few tries, I had a nicely matched pair of breastforms, sized to fit an A cup bra. I bought a sheet of foam rubber, then, cutting it with the hot wire tool, managed to create a panty that gave me the shape I needed. Epoxy glue held it all together, and under a tight pantybrief, was undetectable.
The night before my parents left, I sat in the tub and shaved every inch of skin I could reach, just so I would save time the next day, and be dressed earlier than usual. Neither of my parents bothered to check on me that night. Before that, they never once asked me what I was making when I made my boobs and hip padding either. I quietly shaved, planning on having the whole day to myself, as a girl. As a guy Im not that big, only 56" tall, and I weigh in at maybe 110 when Im all wet. I inherited my stature from my Dad, who is also 56", except he weighs about 140. I share Moms soft, curly brown hair, but Dads blue eyes. Dad and I share our height, but he became very macho to prove his manhood while I veered away towards the feminine side of life once in a while. No matter how good I actually looked when I was dressed as a girl, I always felt like I stood 7 foot tall and weighed two tons, wrapped in an orange sign that said BOY on it. And, as good as I thought I had become when I did get dressed up, I just couldnt seem to get everything right every time, so I just kept trying.
In the morning I woke early, and began to get dressed, taking my time, doing the very best I could, then, for the first time ever, I left the safety of not only my room, but the house. I planned on a drive, not going in anywhere, just a drive to enjoy the fact that I was outside of my room, and the house. I was so scared that I could not enjoy the way my skirt felt, the gentle breezes on my naked skin, nor the taste of the lipstick and scent of the perfume. Once I was safely in the car, I backed out, went to the corner, turned left, then drove across town before I turned again, heading home. I almost made it. My car began to overheat, and I pushed it, hoping to make it home, but as the boiling water spewed from under the hood, I knew it was a lost cause. When the car finally quit, I pulled into the only place available. As I sat there a feeling of dread came over me as I realized that I would have to walk the rest of the way home. Only about six blocks, yet it might as well have been the sixty feet that went straight into the death chamber. I had no choice. I simply couldnt sit there all day. My makeup was beginning to feel runny, sweat was coursing down my back, and my nerves were beginning to fray. It was all I could do to force myself to open the door. I got out, then locked it, and started out for home. The first three blocks were on a big street, and I was fairly safe there, even though I didnt realize it. When I turned on my street, I had to walk the gauntlet so to speak. I have several friends that live on the same street, and I would have to walk right past their homes. If just one of them saw me this way, well, it would be all over. The metallic taste of dread washed over my tongue as I took the first step.
I dared not stand there very long, yet when I took the first step into my gauntlet, I restrained myself from breaking out into a run, which would have looked and been ridiculous, since I had on heels. Stealing myself, I put my head down and began walking, one foot after another, until I finished the first block, then the second, and finally, I was safely in my own driveway, shaking with delight at my success. I had dodged a catastrophe. I quickly moved to the back of the house, opened the door, and stepped in, bumping into my Dad when he turned the corner. As my heart sank, I felt myself growing smaller and smaller as his eyes widened when he looked at me. His mouth opened, but no words came out as I raced past him, went to my room, locked the door, stripped off the clothes, quickly showered, and thought about suicide. They were supposed to be away for the weekend! My carefully planned escapade as a girl had collapsed when the car quit, but having Dad see me this way sent shivers down my back as I anticipated his wrath. When I could no longer stay in my room, I stepped out, hoping to simply leave the house, walk back to my car, then get it running. I almost made it.
Dad was waiting for me, and with a single motion of his finger, he pointed at the chair.
"Just why were you dressed as a girl!?"
I remained silent, unable to say that I liked it, and if I could, would dress that way every day. He would not understand, or even try. Hell, I dont understand it.
"Well?"
"I um just thought I would try it to see how it felt."
"I see. Where is your car?"
"It quit on me over on Elm."
"So you walked home like that?"
"I didnt have a choice Dad."
"Why dont I believe you?"
"You can come with me Dad, the car is on Elm!"
"Dont play with me boy, you know what I mean!"
"When your Mother gets home, well talk about this, and I want the truth. Now, lets go get your car."
The question of why they were home came to my lips, but common sense prevailed and I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to aggravate the situation further, and perhaps make things worse than they already were. We towed my car home, Dad went in the house, and I buried myself in the task of repairing it, trying to keep my mind off the impending doom that was about to befall me. I found the problem, a broken water line, which I fixed, yet the whole time I worked on the car, I wondered what would happen. If Mom told Dad she already knew that I liked to dress up as a girl, and had caught me several times in the past, Im sure that I would be found dead, staked to a post out on the front yard wearing my finest dress. Rather than go in the house, I washed the car, twice, finishing when I saw Mom pull in. She waved at me, then went in. The suspense of the unknown kept nagging at me, and I followed her inside after twenty minutes or so. My parents were at the kitchen table, Mom smiling, while Dad looked a little less angry.
"You didnt tell your Father about that contest I take it."
"Mmmmm I "
"Well, I did. I told him that you have to dress as a girl, and be as convincing as possible to even have a chance to win, and that you were going to try it today just to see how the clothes felt. Remember? I told you to mention it to him. You must have forgotten. Maybe tomorrow we can get you all fixed up and we can all see how you look, without all that nonsense about being scared. That just gets in the way and makes everyone angry. Ill help you get ready this time. Youll feel much better, trust me."
Mom had covered me, but why? And what contest was she referring to? I had no clue as to what she was doing, except that Dad wouldnt be on my case, for a while anyway. I merely nodded my head yes, although I had no idea what Mom was doing or why. I went to my room, and dragged out the few stories I had printed from the Internet, and lay in bed reading them. The stories almost always inspired confidence, yet, the boys pictured in them always seemed to have understanding parents, maybe a mother or sister to help them, with money to spend on clothes, makeup, shoes, and so on. I wasnt sure that I had any of those things. About an hour later, Mom came into my room and shut the door.
"You finally got up the nerve to leave your room, and this had to happen. I know, you have no idea what contest I was talking about, but it did get you out from under your Fathers eye, didnt it?"
"I guess."
"That s the up side. The down side is that he expects to see you tomorrow, all dressed up, with my help of course, so we can see what we need to do for you, so can win this contest. Maybe we, you and I, should do our best, then maybe later, find a way to say the contest had been cancelled."
"But "
"Stand up."
My mother wasnt afraid to take charge, and also, did not take no for an answer lightly, especially from me. As soon as I stood, she began to measure me, then she left the room, and with a mere crook of her finger, she told me to follow her. In the car, she drove to the super mart, and as I walked with her, she began to hand me things. Things like panties, a bra, slip and camisole, then pantyhose, and a pair of low black heels. In dresses, she let me pick out one I liked, which was black with little red flowers on it, then she paid the tab, and we went home. I took everything to my room, still wondering what the hell was going on! As I sat on the bed, I decided that if she wanted me to do it right, then I would do what I could to help. I really had no choice. If I had balked at the prospect of Mom helping me, it would put Mom in a spot, and cast doubt on what she had said. I would have to stand in front of my Father so he could see me, but if he doubted Mom, then it would get ugly very quickly. If I decided not to do it at all, both Mom and I would have her little lie laid bare, and he would know that I had gone out on my own because I wanted to not for some contest. That alone would be enough get me grounded for the rest of my natural life. And that did not include what Mom might do if I made her look foolish, and a liar to boot. It was really no contest at all. I wanted to see what I would look like. If we did as she said, then, with her help, there was a strong possibility that I would look and feel more normal and less like a clown or a boy in a dress, feeling seven foot tall.
The first thing after breakfast the next day, Mom took me to her bedroom, but before she did anything, she asked me to sit on the bed.
" Your Father and I had a talk last night, and I told him that when we are ready, and after he sees you, we are going to let you stay dressed all day. That way youll be able to get used to the way the clothes feel, for a longer time, and get an inkling about how to act, walk and so on when you are dressed as a girl. Doing it this way will not only give you the release you need, hell see you in a better light, and I can quit worrying about you doing something stupid again. Okay?"
"Okay Mom."
It took about two hours to transform me from a boy to a girl, staring with removing the remaining hair on my body. Then, still wrapped in the towel, Mom put my hair in rollers, using some king of spray on it. Without even moving, she handed me the foundation, and explained how to apply it. Step after step, through foundation, powder and eyeshadow, eyeliner and blusher, I did as she told me, yet until I was done, I could not see the way I would turn out. Then, all at once, there she was. Mom didnt waste any time, handing me panties, then she showed me how to put a bra on, which I padded with my birdseed breastforms. The camisole, a blouse, then pantyhose and the new padded pantybrief I had bought. The dress was slipped over my head and I stepped into the low black heels. At the vanity she removed the rollers, and with a few strokes of her brush, turned my mop of hair into a very feminine hairstyle. A quick trim of my bangs with the scissors, and she said I was done, except for lipstick and jewelry. I used the soft red lipstick, clipped on the gold button earrings, and slipped her watch on my wrist. Then she added the fake nails, filing them, and painting them to match the lipstick. With wet nails, I looked in the mirror and saw myself for the first time, I was stunned.
"I think this is what you had in mind, isnt it?"
I was speechless and unable to tear myself away from the mirror, simply standing there looking at the girl I always knew I had inside of me.
"Shall we go?"
"Huh?"
"What do we call you by the way? Im sure that you have a name picked out, what is it?"
"You wont laugh?"
"Tell me."
"Carol."
"Lets go Carol, your father is waiting."
Mom opened the door, waiting for me to step out and make a fool out of myself. I hesitated before she smiled at me, drawing me closer to the door until at last, I stepped out of the room. I joined her in the hallway, then she took my hand and led the way down the stairs and into the familyroom. Dad stood up when he saw me, his eyes wide open, staring at me like I was an alien.
"Honey, this is Carol."
Dad looked me over from head to toe, then "You look better than yesterday. Pretty good as a matter of fact. Carol huh, did you pick out that name or did your Mother?"
"I doesnt matter honey. Carol is a pretty name, and it suits her."
Dad looked me right in the eye, and told me that no matter what, I was to stay dressed this way all day, reinforcing his point with a wag of his finger. All I could do was nod my head. I had not said a word, afraid of what he might do. Mom took me by the arm and led me to the kitchen, where we had some coffee. Thats when she told me that I should know that Dad had invited his golfing buddy over before they went to the club for their usual game.
"Im sure its a test Carol, but youll simply have to be the girl his buddy will see, or risk being found out. Just do your best."
"Okay Mom, but why would Dad do this to me?"
"Well, we did tell him this was just a test, maybe he is extending the test a bit."
Just then the doorbell rang, we heard someone come in, then Dad calling Mom and I out to meet him. I dreaded it, but really had no choice, so I followed Mom, being as feminine as I could be. Since Dad and his friend usually played in a pick up foursome, I expected to see his buddy, Jack there, but there were two men there, and one of them was my age! It was all I could do to stand next to Mom. I wanted to run to my room and lock the door.
"Everyone, this is my wife Mary, and Carol of course. This is Jack, and ?"
"This is my son David. Hes home for the weekend, and thought I would let him tag along today. Maybe Carol would also like to tag along! She and David can play the other side of our foursome."
I was horrified at the prospect of being so close to someone my own age, then have to play golf at the same time. I looked at Mom for support, but Dad stepped in and said it was a terrific idea! He suggested that I change into something else, and I ran to my room. More to get out of his line of sight than to change, but unless I could come up with something else that sounded reasonable, like an important appointment, I was on my way to the golf course, as a girl! I must have been pacing loudly, because Mom came in, a pair of shorts and a top in her hand.
"You better wear these. A skirt or dress will be really out of place on the golf course."
"But I dont want to go!"
"Yes, I know that, but what can you do about it? Your father said you would, and with Jacks son David along, how can you refuse? It would look a bit strange and you might not like it, but youll simply have to do it. Now go ahead and change, and make sure that you look like a girl. You better wear your gym shoes, the white ones."
She helped me get the dress off, then I took a few moments to rearrange the plumbing so I reflected the look of a normal female with shorts on. The tan shorts Mom gave me were a bit loose but not bad, the pink shell top not loose enough but also okay. I wore a pair of my anklet socks and my white gym shoes. With some urging from Mom, I also used a bit of perfume, and wore ring of hers. I really did not want to do this, yet in a way, deep down, I was excited about it. I had played golf since I was a kid, and almost always shot par or better, but as a girl, I wondered if I should I let the guys win, or beat the pants off them so to speak. I could beat Dad easily, and had done so many times.
I walked down the stairs, and saw that Dad had my clubs out. He carried them to the car and I followed him out. On the way over to the club, Dad told them how good I was, which meant that meant I could let it all out, if I could. I wasnt used to playing golf wearing a bra to hold up heaving breasts, nor having my parts all folded back. Having boobs in the middle of my swing would be something new, and I wasnt sure how I would do. About the worst thing that could happen is that one of my breastforms would pop out and fall on the ground. That certainly would not bode well for Dad or I. After the usual bit of scheduling and a short wait, we were up. David had a fluid, graceful stroke, much better than my Dads. I went last, and out drove them all by ten yards. As we went around the course, I found that having breasts did not interfere, and was six up on dad, eight on Jack, but two up on David. In the end I beat them all, dad by seven, Jack by ten, and David by four. I had forgotten about, or put out of my mind, the way I was dressed, and simply played my normal game. Of course, I played from the ladies tees, which gave me an advantage, but I had it anyway.
We posted our scores as required, then went into the club for a drink. On the way, the urge to go hit me, and I was instantly in a quandary. If I went into the mens, I would be found out, yet I had never used a ladies room! I had to go! Using common sense, I slipped into the ladies, went into the stall, did my business, touched up my lipstick, and left as quickly as I could. I rejoined them at the table, sipping my soft drink, trying not to notice David staring at me.
"Honey, Jack and his wife are hosting a party for their company here next Saturday, and they were wondering if you would like to attend."
My Dad was asking me to continue this charade? At a party?
"Im not sure right now Dad, maybe Ill know when I get home. I have to check my schedule. I might have to work."
Then, David put his hand over mine, and asked me to try an be there!
What a mess this was turning out to be! Jack casually mentioned that it was going to be a very fancy affair, and knew that all women liked to get all dolled up, and he hoped I would be able to attend. Dad didnt say a word, which was very strange considering his viewpoint. It was a tense drive home. After I was safe at home, I told Mom what Dad had done, and just as I finished, he walked into the kitchen. Mom confronted him with the obvious question. Why did he submit when his friend Jack asked me to attend the party? As much as he was against what I was doing, the flip-flop didnt make any sense.
"I do a lot of business with Jack. He knew that you and I would be there, and with Carol sitting there, how could he not invite her as well?" Dad sat at the table and looked at both of us. "This seems to have gotten out of hand rather quickly doesnt it?"
I mentioned that it was supposed to be a very elegant party, which drew a snort from Mom. All at once, Dad realized that he was in a very tight corner. I saw his face change color when he figured out that I could almost name the tune he would dance to! Since he asked me to be there, I could demand that he pay for whatever I needed, which was a lot, and also, get him to agree to let me continue as Carol for as long as I needed! He was the one that dragged me along to play golf, hoping Im sure, that I would screw up, get caught or be embarrassed, then give up dressing as a girl. But that backfired on him, and now he was stuck. I looked and saw Mom smiling at Dad while distress was clearly written on his face.
"You did provoke this when you insisted that she go play golf with you Jim, trying to force her to quit dressing as a girl. You were hoping to embarrass her but it didnt work out like you planned did it? You thought that you could scare her into quitting, but all you did was make it virtually impossible for that to happen. Your eagerness to cause her great shame has put yourself, Carol, and I in a situation that might not turn out very well. What if she is discovered as a boy? What will that do to your relationship with Jack? If youre willing to pull this kind of hoax on him, what else are you willing to do? Cheat? Sell shoddy goods at inflated prices?" Mom was on a roll, the anger clear in her voice. "Its going to be like this James, if Carol decides to go, and it will be her decision entirely, she and I will be spending some time shopping for things that shell need, and you will not say one word to her or I about what we buy, or the cost of it."
"But whats to get? A dress? I can handle that."
"No just a dress Jim. If she decides to do this, She will get a wider wardrobe, including skirts, pants, blouses, dresses, a suit or two, bras, panties, waist nippers, slips, makeup, shoes, and jewelry, then Ill take her to the salon and have her hair cut and styled, her nails done, and her makeup done by a pro, and youll pay for it, without saying a word."
He still didnt understand why I needed more than just a dress, so Mom told him how it was.
"Jim, think about this for a minute. If Carol goes to this party, just how can we hide her after that? Then there is Davids obvious infatuation with her. He will almost certainly ask her out, and there will certainly be more parties this summer, if I dont miss my guess, and that means that Carol will be here for the summer at least, which that means that shell need clothes, like any girl her age would have. Understand now?"
"All summer? As a girl?"
I had the chance, the opening, and took it. I had always wanted to spend more than a few hours as a girl, And now I could. All I had to do was admit that I liked to dress as a girl, then manage to show him that he didnt leave me any choice, so I stepped out on a very thin limb and started sawing.
"You started it Dad. I was content to dress up once in a while, and maybe go out now and then, no matter how good or bad I looked. By a fluke, you caught me. Then you insisted on making me play golf today, which did not turn out like you planned. You knew what you were doing. You wanted to make the worst day of my life even worse, and did everything you could to make that happen, but it didnt happen like you thought it would, and now were all stuck. If I say I cant make it, David will probably call me anyway, and what about the rest of the summer? Jack always comes here. What if he asks about me? Will I always be gone, or in bed, or what? I cant simply disappear. Maybe when school starts, I could be at a private school or something, but not now."
"But but what about your friends in the neighborhood? Didnt you tell me you were afraid they would see you this way?"
"Sure I am. But Mom said that when she and I are done, nobody will recognize me, and Ill be free to come and go as I please. I can be a relative, maybe your niece, around home if I have to."
In the end Dad had no choice but to agree. He hated it, but he agreed. He and Jack were not long time friends, having met just a few months ago at a seminar. Then of course, they had signed those contracts, so Jack did not know enough about our family to note the difference between my being a girl and not a boy. Dad had also just signed a very lucrative contract with Jack, which would fund my dads pension plans easily, which meant that if letting me become a girl for the summer would ensure that, he had no choice but to go along. The specter of being labeled a cheat or worse scared him, and losing a contract so large was unthinkable. While having me dress as a girl was not high on his list of things he always wanted, he could see the light in the tunnel. It was when he heard the train thundering closer that he knew he was lost. Reluctantly, he gave in with a nod of his head. Later that afternoon, Mom pulled me aside, and told me that she wanted to take some more measurements so when we went shopping in the morning, we could simply get what I needed. Of course, I had no objection to having more clothes or being able to become Carol more often, probably full time. My fears were more local. I have plenty of friends in the neighborhood, and all it would take would be one person to upset things. My friend Bill for example. He and I are tight, almost like brothers at times. If I become Carol, and even if he does not recognize me, what if he hits on me? Worse, what if he figures it out? According to Mom, all I have to do is my best, and become the girl everyone will see. I hope shes right.
Right after breakfast, Mom once again took measurements, telling me that since I would be a girl more often, I would need a wider range of clothes, specifically, clothes that would help give me a shape. Then she began a list of things that I would need. When she was almost done with her list, I interrupted her. I told her I wanted to add some really good breastforms, the glue on kind, and another real padded pantybrief so I could get rid of the one I made. I gave her the reasons why and she agreed with a quick little smile. I did my hair in a ponytail, put on some makeup, and wore the same shorts with a tee. On the way, Mom told me just how much Dad really hated this.
"He knows he put himself in this pickle, but he hates the idea of you dressing as a girl. His idea of manhood is very macho, and you have quite openly denounced that vision of his. Your father is worried sick that this charade will come crashing down on you, which means us, causing all sorts of problems. He sees all sorts of danger out there, for all of us. Hes also afraid of what might happen if someone, maybe even David, decides that you are the girl of his dreams. What then? What will you do? What will we do?"
"Mom, I have no intention of getting that close to any guy, including David, so the problem doesnt even come up. But like you said, if we do this right, with just a little luck, we can do it, and get away with it. All I have to do is start to walk, talk, and act like any other girl, and with the right clothes, Im sure I can do it."
Mom didnt say a word as we left the house, but I saw her look in the phone book before we left. I thought I knew why, and sure enough, the first place we went was a prosthetic shop. With me standing right there, Mom told the woman that I needed the best breastform she had, as long as they glued on, and would be undetectable once she set them in place. Embarrassed as I was, the woman didnt even blink, and I soon found myself in the back, being fitted by a pro. The woman took some measurements, used a skin color chart then left us for a moment. When she returned, I was able to watch her in the mirror as she positioned first one breast form, then the other, and attached them to my chest with some kind of adhesive. I was very pleased, because even at a close distance, even I had a hard time finding the seam. I reached for my bra when the woman stopped me.
"I also carry a panty of sorts, and if you want a nicely round figure, you might want to look at them. Let me show you."
What she held out made Mom draw in her breath a little.
"It also glues on, and you will have to sit for all bodily functions like women do, but thats the object isnt it? Ill answer the obvious question first, yes, it does allow you to present yourself in almost any situation as a woman."
I took the bundle of flesh colored latex in my hand, and felt like a pervert as I looked it over. I saw that the panty had been built with rounder hips, the small bulge just under the waistline that women have, and was split up the back for the obvious reason. The woman answer the obvious question that was just forming on my lips.
"Thats why they have to be glued on. If anyone touched you, you would feel it because it would be all you in the back. The panty does its work in the front and on the sides. Want to try one on?"
I did, and took the offered garment into the booth and tried it on, confused for a moment until I figured out the combination. It was tight, but as I looked in the mirror I could not help but break out in a smile. I let my finger touch it in that place, pausing as I began to understand the implications. I heard Mom calling my name, and when I walked out to show them, the woman said it was perfect. I looked at Mom who was still staring, gasping at what she saw. I was vigorously nodding my head yes, smiling at the same time. The woman used her skin color chart again, found the right color tone, then retrieved another of the special panties and handed it to me. She took the time to show my how to prepare for long term wear, plus how to take care of it before she fitted me with the garment, gluing this one in place. By the time I left the shop, I looked just like any girl my age. 36B-25-36 were the measurements the woman gave Mom and I. It was all I could do not to touch myself.
Once we were in the car
"I guess we dont have to worry now, do we?"
"I wasnt going to let the chance to have these items get away Mom. Now, none of us have to worry so much. Its obvious that I can wear a swimsuit or a gown, shorts or a dress, and fit right in. I might be a bit awkward now and then, but being able to prove myself might come in very handy this summer, especially if there is any doubt."
"Thats true Carol, but that woman told me that the panty you have on is made so that you could have sex! You are way to young to have sex, and youre a boy for goodness sake! I can just hear your Father now when he finds out you can have sex, just like any woman!"
Being able to have sex wasnt even on my agenda, and the woman had not told me that. She only told Mom. In fact, I would not have known if Mom had not told me, at least for a while anyway. "Then we dont tell him Mother. He doesnt need to know, and since I have no intention of dating, let alone have sex, its not a problem. Since Dad does not need to know that little tidbit, lets not tell him."
All I got out of Mom was a smile and a harrump. Clearly, she had her doubts, but slowly, she nodded her head in agreement, and I knew that Dad would remain ignorant of my new abilities. While I felt as if I had stepped into heaven, it was also like being in a prism. Everything was there, yet fragmented. Dads anger and dismay, Moms unexpected support, and my glee, all mixed up in a swirl of events that have led to this. Breasts that looked and felt so real, what looked like a normal vagina, and now, new clothes. One single mistake had set in motion a tide of events that have led to this moment. Mom had a grim look on her face. Was it the items we purchased? Or was it the fact that they made me so happy? I had to know, so I asked.
"Whats the matter Mom? Why the look?"
She did not say a word until she pulled in the lot and parked the car. When she turned to face me, I saw a look of dismay on her face. She took my hand in hers, and didnt say a word for at least five minutes.
"I dont know why you want to be a woman, theres nothing glamorous about it, just some fat located in different places. I have known about your dressing up for a long time, but put it down as childs play, and now, all at once, here you sit, so pretty and eager, with a body to match, complete with the ability to have sex. While I know what you told me, you have no idea what it will be like to stay at home all of the time, with no friends, no going out, no fancy dresses, just us. I dont think that will last more than a two weeks, if that. Then what? When the boys decide that you are available, they will ask you out, and what will you do after spending all that time at home? Like every girl everywhere, youll accept, and that will lead to more than you ever imagined, including the possibility of sex."
The minute I started to say something, she held up her hand.
"Through stupid acts on both you and your Fathers part, you two have managed to make it almost impossible for either of you to back out now. He is stubborn and scared of what he has done, but youre eager and willing. That leaves all of us in a very shaky spot. David and Jack think you are a girl, and we are all committed to this party, but less than a week later is your birthday. Just what will happen when your Grandparents find out? Or those cousins of yours? And lets not forget Bill and Frank. The three of you grew up together and are as close as any brothers could ever be. What about them? Then there is me. How can I teach you everything you need to know in a week? Women move differently because of the way they are built, and it comes naturally to us, yet I have to not only teach you all of that, I have to smile, and with a straight face say that you are my niece or daughter!"
Mom was rapidly turning my elation into dread as she ticked off every single thing that could derail my fondest desire. I had not given a minutes thought to one thing beyond my being able to be out, dressed as a girl, and had fallen into the trap of my own ignorance and passions. My hand fell on my new breast, and as I squeezed it, I knew this was right for me. No matter what Mom said, I would be the one to face everyone and have admit the truth, not Dad or Mom, only me. But I would not hurt my Mother for anything, and if she asked me, I would have her stop at the shop on the way home, and remove all of the items I cherished so much, and was quite ready to tell her that when
"I guess that means that we have less than a week to turn you into a girl, then make people believe it, even your family and friends, and the only way to do that is for you to become as feminine as possible without becoming some kind of parody."
"Just what do you have in mind Mom?"
"Clothes that are just a bit more daring, more lacy, frilly trim, softer colors, tighter fitting and short, that kind of thing."
"Im not going to dress like a bimbo Mom. Daring maybe, in softer colors, okay, but short and tight with frilly lace are out. I have the breasts, hips and well, the rest, to look like a girl, and Ill go with that. I have no intention of looking like some broad with a head full of powder puffs, nor will I act like one. If everyone you mentioned cant tell the difference between class and a bimbo, then theyll never understand me anyway. Hell, I dont understand me, but a normal, classy girl is the only way I can do this."
Thats when she smiled and began to laugh! When she finally quit laughing at me and wiped her eyes, she leaned over and hugged me. She told me she was pushing me to see if I would make a laughing stock out of myself, just so I would be able to wear the clothes. When I said no, she knew that while I also knew that I might yet become a laughing stock, I would do it as a woman with class. Then she told me that we had better get started if we were going to continue to make a serious dent in Dads credit line. We walked into the mall, then straight into a huge department store. I had been in the lingerie section before, but standing there, dressed as a girl, I became overwhelmed by all of the choices. Ten different manufacturers, twenty or more styles in all colors, and a size to fit anyone. I usually went to super mart to buy what I needed, and always left with very plain items. Mom took me by the arm, and I found myself in front of a rack of bras.
Mom led me through the mysteries of sizing, color and style, explaining that because of my age, an underwire bra wasnt really needed, but were fun to wear, so she handed me two of them, both lower cut, one white, the other beige. Then two bras with a full cup, both white. In panties, she told me that nylon, while sexy feeling, did not rise to the level of comfort cotton did, so I was handed three packages of cotton panties in assorted colors. Then slips in all lengths, a camisole and two waist nippers. In nightgowns, she let me pick out two, and I selected one in pink and one in white, both semi sheer. She added another, made of flannel. Blah! From there we hit shoes, and after trying each pair on, we left with three pair of heels, three pair of flats, gym shoes for a girl, and some house slippers. By then, Mom had really gotten into the idea of turning me into a very classy girl, and with a head of steam up, went directly to the Junior department with me trailing behind her, the packages we already had heavy in my arms.
I knew what I liked, and Mom pretty much let me pick out the clothes, only questioning me once or twice. Skirts and blouses, shells and suits, dresses and pants, shorts and halter tops were piled on, then, after she paid the bill, we dragged everything to the car and went back in. As the clothes piled up in my arms I began to realize just how complicated this might all get for my parents, and of course for me. What do I wear and when? Then how do I wear it? I could only rely on Mom to steer me in the right direction, but I was confident I could do this, especially with the new appliances I had on. Then Mom shocked me when she told me to pick out two swimsuits and find a robe to match each of them! I wasnt about to try a bikini, so I picked out more normal suits, one in navy with a white stripe, the other plain green. From there she took me to a jeweler and bought me a real diamond and emerald ring along with a pair of diamond earrings! She told me that every girl has at least some real jewelry, and I shouldnt be any different. Then I got a pretty good watch.
From there we went into one of the costume jewelry places and really stocked up on earrings, necklaces, bracelets and so on. Mom was spending Dads money like water, and I expected her to stop pretty soon, but she didnt. She and I left the mall, had a late lunch, then she took me to her salon, and told the girl that I needed the works. That turned out to be hair and nails, plucked eyebrows and makeup. I had no idea beauty was so painful until they waxed my upper lip. Painful as that was, my skin was smooth and hairless, which was great, because that was the one spot my skin always broke out when I shaved close every day. My hair was cut shorter, then put in rollers and a body perm set into it, dyed a light blond and finally brushed out. My hair simply fell into place, a halo of curls and waves that framed my face. I never looked this good. My nails were made slightly longer with acrylic extensions, filed to a rounded point, and painted a plum color. My eyebrows were plucked to be thinner with a slightly higher arch. When they did my makeup, I had to wash off my own, which was the only time I became nervous, since I was sure my beard would be visible.
But the girl never said a word as she began to apply the new makeup. As she went along, she explained the technique she was using and why, and suggested colors I should use. When I finally got to see myself in the mirror, it was as if I had been reborn. I never looked this good, ever. In fact, I wasnt even sure it was possible, but obviously it was. I simply stood there, staring at myself, not wanting to smile at my reflection, but could not help myself. Mom paid the bill, and as we walked out of the salon I knew that Dad would have a heart attack when he saw me, or maybe when he found out that I had a body perm. In either case, he would have to live with the results, just like I would. My two biggest concerns were my buddies, and the rest of my family. With the family, well, we could just say thats the way it is and they would have to live with it, but my friends, well, that would be a lot harder. I could tell them outright who I really was, or let them wonder what happened to me, or pretend I am really Carol, and take my chances. I would have to face them sooner or later. The next big question looming over me was what to do.
On the way home, Mom made one more stop, at a furniture store! I had no idea what she was doing, until she asked to see their selection of vanities. Mom let me pick out the one I liked, and she made the arrangements to have it delivered the next day. All at once, in one day, I had almost everything any other girl my age would have, clothes of all kinds, a vanity, boobs and more, all of which made me giddy to even think of it, yet there was that constant nagging in the back of my skull. Every single fiber inside told me to be wary, yet I could not pick out the reason for that little man telling me that. I had gone from my worst day to my best in the span of a few days, and now had everything I ever dreamed about. My Mother seemed eager if not avidly ready to help me, willing to teach me whatever I needed to know, and had completed my transformation with a trip to the salon. Dad. That was the point I worried about the most I guess. I knew that when he saw me, and after the shock had worn off, he and I would have to face each other and come to terms with this girl I called Carol.
Dad was not home when we got there, so Mom and I carried everything to my room. She helped me put all of my boy clothes in boxes, then we hung up or put away all of my new clothes. Still in shorts and a tee, I wanted to change, so she left and I quickly changed into a short green and white pleated skirt and a white shell top, then put on my white flats, touched up my lipstick and used my new perfume for the first time. I took one look in the mirror, and left my room to join Mom. I walked into the kitchen, and saw both Bill and Frank standing there! All I could do was walk in as if there wasnt a thing wrong.
"Gentlemen, this is Carol. Shell be staying here all summer."
It was clear that they liked what they saw, especially Bill. He broke out in that grin of his, the one he saved for girls he liked.
"We came to see if Jeff could come with us to the game tonight."
"Im sorry Frank" Mom said, "but Jeff isnt here right now. In fact, he will be gone all summer."
Neither of them added up that as Jeff I would be gone, but as Carol, I would be there all summer. That was only a partial relief, as I had to get through the whole summer, and by the look on Bills face, I was sure he would ask me out.
"Maybe Carol would like to go with us instead."
Mom looked at me, and for the first time, I had to speak. I hoped they would not recognize my voice.
"Im sorry, I cant, perhaps another time?"
"Ill look forward to it" said Bill, still grinning at me.
Frank did give me a strange look, one that sent me into a bit of a state, but he didnt say anything, and I watched as they left for the game. As the door shut and Mom and I were alone, I heaved a sigh of relief, but my comfort zone was shattered when Mom told me that she was sure Frank knew who I was, and of course, he would tell Bill, which meant that I would have to either tell them, or dispel their doubts. I didnt want to tell them, so the only way I could do that was to let them see me in a swimsuit or something else that would show off my newly acquired charms. Mom also mentioned that she had warned me that this would happen. Unfortunately, she did not tell me what to do about it, and I was caught between my obvious glee at being a girl, and messing with the minds of friends I had known for years.
I helped Mom make dinner, and we were both on the patio waiting when Dad walked out to join us. As I figured, he went into shock when he saw me, especially after he motioned with his finger and I stood up. He saw my nails and hair, now style very femininely, my long shapely legs and what seemed to be a pair of perfectly formed breasts poking against the thin top I had on. He could not miss the small dent the nipple made in the material. I gave him my best smile and sat down, waiting for him to say something, anything. Mom beat him to it.
"James, Carol and I went to a shop this morning that specializes in items to help women who have lost breasts, and we had Carol fitted. They cost a lot, but for everyones peace of mind, we thought it best, and now she has the perfect body and figure to match, of a girl her own age. Once we had done that, she had her hair and nails done, all in an effort to make it easy for you to convince Jack that she is a real girl, and you can save face. We also picked up a reasonable wardrobe for her while we were out."
"You mean she has boobs!"
"She is perfect in every way dear, and, everything is attached in a way that insures that she will have them for months, so you might as well get used to it, because we now have a daughter, not a son in a dress."
I thought he would go into a fit when he turned purple, but he managed to get himself under control. Then he wanted to know just what "everything is attached" meant, and Mom told him what it meant, and that included the special panty, and that they were glued on. Thats when he sank into his chair, staring at me as if I were an alien of some kind. When I told him that I didnt mind, because I was doing it for him, he yanked himself upright, and I thought he might hit me, but he quickly sat back down, glaring at me.
"Let me get this straight. You had boobs that are perfect and undetectable attached, and if you were to undress, you would still look like a girl? And that is attached as well?"
I nodded my head yes, and he sank into his chair, still staring at me. Mom had told him we did this so he could save face, and while only slightly true, he had no option but to accept the obvious. He still hated it.
"I guess we all have a few adjustments to make. Have the boys been here yet? They usually come over every day."
"Bill and Frank were here earlier and got to meet Carol. I told them Jeff would be gone for the summer, and Carol would be staying with us. Bill seemed quite taken with her as a matter of fact."
"Great!" Dad said, "Now we have to contend with two boys that are closer than brothers with our son! I hope they dont find out that Jeff is now Carol!"
"I think Frank already knows Dad. I think he recognized my voice."
Dad sat there staring at me, then he seemed to slump even further in his chair, and with a sigh told us that David would not be able to be at the party, which that meant that I would not have to be there either!
"I didnt expect you two to just go out and do this today! He doesnt have to dress this way if David isnt going to be at the party!"
"How were we to know that David would not be attending?" Mom sounded angry. "We only did what we had to do to save you, after you decided to make an issue of it. We even told you what we were going to do, and when. You already knew why. Jack will be there wont he?" Dad nodded his head yes, and Mom went on. "Then Carol will have to be there anyway wont she?"
"Well yes, but "
"These appliances dont come off easily Dad, this is a body perm, and these nails are on for months, so were all stuck with me this way, no matter what!"
That wasnt a lie. There was no way his own eyes could be lying to him. He saw the perm and my nails, Mom told him about my appliances, and he knew that his version of manhood had just been changed. Once in a while, when I was dreaming, I wondered what it would be like to have a man take me to his bed, as a woman of course, but I had never entertained the idea of becoming a woman full time, complete with surgery. Yet, I was about to find out what it was like to be a girl, and be treated as one by everyone that knows me, including my Dad, whether he liked it or not. Since the deed was done, it did not matter what he believed. The facts were stated, the conclusion foregone. I was now a girl, and he would have to live with it. The fact that Mom and I did this the very day after he put me in a spot that left me no option, was one that he would simply have to live with, because now that I had everything I ever needed to become a girl, and the reason to do so, I was not about to give in now, and I think he knew that.
The conundrum he was in was of his own making, although mom and I did sort of force the issue. When he agreed on spending money on clothes for me, he never expected us to have me fitted with appliances that would turn me into a girl. Yet he hated the fact that I loved being dressed this way. Dad was caught between worlds. The reality he created when he insisted I play golf as a girl, and the fact that we acted on the results. Everything he believed in about men had been shattered. Men do not wear dresses, and certainly dont look good in them. But there I sat, his own son, not only dressed as a girl, but according to him, pretty as well. He also knew by the look on Moms face that we had told him the truth. The breast forms and special panty had been glued on, and would stay that way for months. He slumped in his chair as he stared at me.
"I dont have any choice about this do I?
"About what? Mom asked
Dad gave her a look that would wither a steel post, then "Carol is here to stay isnt she."
"For the summer anyway, but you knew that."
Dad nodded his head yes, then looked at me again. I could see the dismay in his eyes. I was his son, but I wanted to be his daughter, and he could see it written on my face, the clothes I wore, and my demeanor. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but he choked it back and just sat there. We all sat there for a while, alone with our own thoughts. Then he looked up at me and smiled.
"We are still going to the party. We dont have a choice, Jack is expecting us."
When he looked at me he had a slight grin on his face.
"Since you wanted to be a girl, and now look like one, I expect you to look as stunning as possible, from the tips of your shoes to your hair, and I want you to arrange an escort to the party. That way I wont have to worry about Jack trying to stick someone on you. By having your own escort, we might be able to "
"Are you sure you want Carol to have her own escort dear?"
"Sure. Why not?"
It was so obvious that he couldnt see it. I explained it to him.
"Dad, for me to get an escort, Ill have to ask Bill or Frank, probably Bill, and that means that theyll find out. Since they live in the neighborhood, just how long, if they dont already know, after that will it be before everyone knows? If everyone finds out, how long will it be before the rumors start, which Jack might hear. Then what?"
Dads expression went from one of resignation to one of startled discovery when he realized what might, and probably would happen. He told me not to arrange an escort, but Mom told me it was my choice. Now I knew there was no way I could manage to survive an entire summer as a girl without my best friends finding out, which of course was my initial fear. As I looked down and saw the twin mounds and tiny nipples pushing against my shirt, I denied the fact that contrary what we told dad, the nails could be melted off with chemicals, the glue dissolved and my hair cut short, all of which would return me to my male status. But there was no way I could do that now, just when I had everything I ever dreamed of. I had conquered most of my fears the moment the appliances were attached and realized how I looked. All that was left was my internal fear of what my friends would say when they found out who I really was, and the fact that I wanted to be this way. I stood up, faced my parents, and told them I was going to walk down and see Bill. Silence covered the table as I walked out of the house.
I walked the same sidewalk, again dressed as a girl, but this time I did not look down, but straight ahead. I passed people that had known me all my life, none of them recognizing me as we waved at each other. As I approached Bills house my stomach began to tighten up as I began to imagine his response. Hatred? Anger? What? I saw his Mom out in the yard tending her roses, watching as she stood up when I walked up the front walk.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"Is is Bill here?"
I saw her eyes go wide, then her head as it traveled up and down my body, and saw that she knew who I was. How could she not? I had stayed at her house many times over the years. Like Bill and my parents, she had adopted the idea that she had another part time son. We locked eyes for a moment, then she smiled at me.
"And you are ?"
"Carol."
"I see. Let me get Bill for you."
I sat on the front porch, determined yet afraid, waiting for my future to unfold. Bill was pretty open minded, so I hoped he would accept the fact that I wanted to be a girl. I heard the squeak of the door and turned around. Bill stood there with a smile on his face as he sat down next to me. He and I traded looks for a moment, then
"Lets go in the back by the pool."
We walked around the back, settling into the chairs by the small shaded table.
"I didnt expect you to be here. I thought that you would stay at home."
"Bill, I have something to tell you. Something important. I I "
"You used to be Jeff, right?"
I nodded my head yes and felt a tear start to run down my face. Bill reached out and wiped it away.
"I knew that. I knew it when I saw you. Thats why I was surprised to see you here."
My secret was out, so I said what I came to say. "Bill, I have always dressed this way, but in private, in my room. This wasnt really my idea, being out like this I mean, but it happened, and now I cant give it up!"
Bill did not say a word as my heart poured out to him. Once I started, it was as if a downpour had started. All of my fears, hates, desires, shame and yes, even my own denial of the truth. I cried, tried to laugh, sobbed, and finally, shook in shame, embarrassed to have to tell my best friend in the entire world how I felt. I told him how dad had tried to shame me, and the results of that attempt. I told him how Mom had taken me under her wing, and the fact that I now looked like any other girl we knew. He got it all, unvarnished and straight, and he saw how I looked at that moment. My best friend in the whole world now knew all about me. I waited, expecting him to simply walk back in the house, completing the circle of my shame. He listened without saying a word or even touching me. Time stood still as I waited, then
"I knew before the other day. I could smell the makeup or perfume, whatever it was, in your room every now and then."
He reached out and used both of his hands to wipe away my tears, then with a hand on each side of my face, he bent over and touched his lips to mine! As he sat back, smiling, I was in shock, yet tingling all over. I didnt know what to say I was so shocked. I had known Bill almost all my life, and this was the first time he had ever shown any affection for me. He was smiling at me, that silly grin of his plastered on his face as he looked at me.
"You didnt expect that did you? Well I didnt expect to do it either, but you look so great that I couldnt help myself. Besides, youre a damsel in distress, and its my duty to come to your aid."
"Bill, I "
"Why dont you and I go to a show tonight? Itll make you feel better, and Ill be with the best looking girl on the street."
With a nod of my head, I answered yes just as his Mom walked out and joined us.
"I talked to your mother Carol. She explained it to me, and by the look on your faces, you explained it to Bill. I dont really understand why you feel this way, but if Bill can accept it, Ill try. Okay?"
"Okay Mrs. B."
I looked at Bill and told him I better go home. He told me he would be over at 7 to get me, which caused his Moms eyes to widen a bit, but she didnt say a word. The walk home was easier than the first time I had walked that same gauntlet. While I was very pleased when Bill kissed me, I began to wonder about myself. I had liked it. I had let a life long friend kiss me, something I had never ever considered, and liked it. Before that kiss, I was unsure that I could purge my demon. Now I knew that all I had to do was be the girl I always wanted to be, and be as feminine as any other girl my age.
By the time I got home I actually felt pretty good about myself. I went in the house then straight to my room where I stripped naked and stood in front of the mirror. I had not told Bill about the special panty since he didnt need to know that, but as I let my hand fall into my groin, my finger slid up the thin hairy slit and I began to smile at my reflection. This one item defined me now. Any guy can pad a bra and go out, but not many look so much like a female as I do. Still naked, I went into the bath and filled the tub, adding sweet bath salts and a bit of bath oil. In a few places I could feel the stubble of hair returning, and became obsessed with being as much a girl as I could be. Bath oil and a razor were the answer. I lounged in the tub, taking my time, making my skin as soft and smooth as possible before I stood and dried off. I had the towel in my hand when I stepped back into my room. The door opened, and before I could cover myself, dad walked in.
Our mutual shock was not dispelled when I yanked the towel up to cover myself. He had seen it all, from head to toe and everything in the middle. He now knew that Mom and I had told him the truth. Without a word he left my room, shutting the door on the way out, leaving me to wonder what to do next. I certainly couldnt chase him like this, so I slipped on a pair of panties and sat at the new vanity and began my makeup. Either through experience or desire, I managed to recreate the same makeup they had done in the salon, and I felt that I looked pretty good. A few quick motions with the blow dryer and my hair popped right into place, and other than a few brush strokes, I was done. I selected a lower cut bra, the beige one with the front clasp, and slipped my arms into the straps and fastened it up. My breasts were pulled up and pushed out, making a modest cleavage. I wanted more, but didnt do it because Mom would object to it.
Pantyhose were next, then I pulled out the pale green dress and slipped it over my head. As I zipped it up I saw how it molded to my shape, and smiled. The square cut neckline was low enough to hint at but not show my delights, the hem high enough to expose skin all the way to mid thigh. I slipped on the white flats and added gold and white earrings, my watch, the new ring, some perfume, and finally, the reddish pink lipstick. I adjusted the straps on the dress to hide my bra straps, avoiding the temptation to hike my boobs up some more. All that was left was to walk out of my room and face Dad. I looked and felt like a girl now. Facing my father this time would be the final act in our little drama. He had seen me naked, the innuendo now a fact, which none of us could deny. I opened the door to my room and walked out, my skirt flaring out when I turned, the scent of my perfume filling the air. I walked down the stairs, saw Dad in the familyroom, and went in. I stood in front of him, my hands folded in front of me, my purse dangling in my hands.
He looked up at me, that sheepish look on his face, the one guys get when they had seen something forbidden yet delightful, like say, a peek in the ladies locker room. I did not want to hurt him, he had had to swallow enough already, so I merely stood there and calmly told him I had a date, and would be eating, and staying out late that night. Because of what he saw and his shame, all he did was nod his head. I went into the kitchen, got a soda, then started to wash the few dishes in the sink. Thats where I was when Mom walked in.
"Going out?"
"Bill asked me to go to a show with him tonight."
"I see. Does that mean that you two talked?"
I my eagerness to confide in her, I told he kissed me, which made her smile. Then I told her about Dad walking in on me and catching me stone naked. I told her he saw it all.
"Ill see that he doesnt barge in any more Carol, but you might lock your door anyway."
Then I told her everything I told Bill, how he reacted, then how his Mother reacted. I wasnt sure she could accept Bill taking me out on a date. Mom said it was fine, but she would go down and talk to her one on one anyway. I finished the dishes just as the doorbell rang. Dad answered the door, then I heard my name being called. I grabbed my purse and walked out, expecting that Bill was just a bit early. But it wasnt Bill. It was Sarah, Franks sister. She stared at me even as Dad let her in. The four of us were silent until Mom suggested that Sarah and I sit out on the patio. Sarah followed me as I walked out the back. The moment we were alone
"Damn!"
"What?"
"When Frank told me you were dressed as a girl I didnt believe it. Ive seen guys like you on television, but they were always so flaky? Most of them didnt even look like girls! But you! You look fantastic!"
"Thanks Sarah. I try."
"Try my ass. Those are acrylic nails, thats a body perm, and those boobs look pretty real to me. This is a lot more than just a game for you. No boy I ever met would do something like this unless they really wanted to, so I can only assume that there is another girl in the neighborhood now. Am I right?"
Right at that moment Bill walked out on the patio, pulled up a chair, and sat next to me, a grin on his face. Sarah looked at Bill, then me, and began to smile.
"Ill stop by tomorrow Carol. We can talk some more."
Bill took my hand in his, which Sarah could not possibly miss, and we all stood up and walked out the front door together. On the way out I told dad that we were leaving. All he did was wave his hand at us. Sarah walked in the direction of her house while Bill opened the door of his car for me.
As we drove along, I saw him looking at me once in a while, more like one eye on the road, the other on me. Unsure of what I should do, I simply sat there and let him drive. On the way into the show, his arm slipped around my waist for a moment, making me tense up, then, as we turned into the theater, his hand caressed my butt! I didnt say anything, preferring to think that it was just an accident, but somewhere in my mind lay the thought that it wasnt. Bill had fondled me. I dont remember much about the show, only that Bill took me, and I went as a girl, his date. After the show we had some take out from the Burger Bin. Bill parked the car out on the plat, under a huge tree. Since he had already kissed me once, I expected him to try it again, especially way out here on the plat, and I was right. "Carol" he said, I turned, and he was right there. His hand went behind my head and pulled me close, then he kissed me. Not quite as startled as I was the first time, I still found myself willing to let him kiss me. It was a confirmation of my femininity, and I submitted to it. His tongue flicked against my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him invade my mouth. We turned and moved, yet he was able to keep us together as he probed not only my body, but my psyche as well. We both grew passionate, eager to explore as only teenagers are, yet when his hand slipped under my dress I pulled away.
I had found the limit, and recoiled at the thought that Bill was trying to get into my panties, seeking the ultimate in male-female relationships. Panting, we both sat back in our seats, staring at each other. My question was why? His question was obviously why not? But he did not know about my abilities, so as far as he knew, I was equipped just like him. That grin of his appeared again.
"You are so hot that I couldnt help myself Carol."
"Bill! We have been friends long enough for you to know that I cant do what you want!"
"Yeah, I know that, but if you could, would you?"
Would I? I could, but didnt, so the answer was no, yet the question nagged at me.
"No, I wouldnt. Im only 17. Just how many girls do you know that would?"
"Three" he said, then named them. All of them were now pregnant, and we both knew them.
"You better take me home Bill."
He kissed me again, at my front door, then I went in. Confusion mixed with lust and concern permeated my mind as I undressed and once again stood staring at myself in the mirror. In my wildest dreams I never expected this to happen. Bill found me attractive, tried to seduce me, and almost succeeded. He knew I was not a girl, yet his instinct had been to try anyway once his senses told him I was a girl. What would he think if I had let him use me? What would I think of me? Even Sarah thought I was hot, to use her word. Only that part of me that kept reminding me that I was still a male prevented me from accepting what was clearly evident to everyone else. When Bill and I were in the midst of our passion I knew that he had gotten erect, yet I felt nothing like that at all. My parts, well hidden under the panty had not responded as it should have. I gazed at my reflection, touching my breasts, then my hand drifted South to feel myself. Smooth hairless skin, breasts and wider hips, my hair still nicely done, my nails shiny in the faint light. All feminine, all hiding the truth. I slipped on a nightgown, then went to bed, still struggling with the fact that I had liked how I felt when Bill had kissed me, touched me, and made me feel inside.
In the morning I slipped on a robe and went to the kitchen expecting to get a coffee and return to my bedroom. Dad was sitting there, sipping on his coffee. When I poured my own, he motioned me to sit.
"Tell me the truth. I have to know. Is there any chance that you will return as my son? Or will you remain our daughter?"
That was the question I found myself struggling with during the night!
"I cant see how I can Dad. Too many people know about me now. If I stay this way they will accept it, maybe not easily, but theyll accept what they see as the truth. If I were to change back, it will make all of us look foolish while making them feel like we used them. "
"I can handle that. What I want to know is are you going to return as a boy?"
"No. I cant do that now I just cant!"
"Dont get yourself in an uproar, I just wanted to know."
He had slumped down in his chair as I waited for him to say something else.
"Your mother has convinced me that this is obviously the right thing for you, but I have to admit that I dont like it, or understand it in any way. You had so much going for you, yet you want to grow up to wash some guys underwear? It doesnt make any sense to me at all!"
It didnt make any sense to me either, yet I knew it was real, and there was no way for me to deny it. I didnt say anything, because anything I said would just provoke him again.
"I hate it Jef Carol, but well all give it a try and see how it goes."
I gently reminded him that the longer I remained this way, the harder it would be to return to the way it was. Dad is smart, and realized that what I had said was true. All at once he stood up and I joined him. He held his arms out to me, and I eagerly let them fold around me. With my head on his shoulder, the scent of him filling my nose, I knew somehow that he had given in and accepted me as a girl.
I went to my room, changed into some shorts and top without a bra, and returned to the kitchen. This time Mom was there. When she saw that I wasnt wearing a bra, she motioned for me to put one on, and I left to do just that. I had made my point with Dad. Sarah came over about lunch time, and we talked about a lot of things, including Bill.
"Frank says that youre way to weird for him, and he doesnt want anything to do with you any more. I told him that he was nuts and a fool, but he doesnt get it, and probably never will."
"I like Frank Sarah, he, Bill and I have been friends for a long time, but I have to do this, and now that so many people have seen me, Im not going to quit just because Frank doesnt like it. Hell, my Dad doesnt like it either, but he has accepted me this way, so I guess Frank will have to get used to the idea."
"My guess" Sarah said, "is that Frank is attracted to you, and that scares him. Rather than face that, he is turning his back on you."
Then Sarah asked me if I wanted to go down to her house and take a swim in her pool. I declined going there, but suggested that she get her suit and come back to my house. The moment she left I went to my room to put on my swimsuit. Skin tight, it was the blue with the white stripe, a full suit, but it wouldnt leave much to the imagination. With a towel over my shoulder, I walked right past my parents, drawing a gasp from Dad as I went by, but he didnt say anything. A bit later Sarah showed up, and she had Kelly, another girl that lives in the area with her. Without a word, I jumped in the pool, and they followed me into the chilly water. Later, as we pulled ourselves out of the pool, both of them could see that I had a shape just like theirs, except for the slightly pudgy middle section I have. Neither of them said a word.
Finally, Kelly asked me if it was true, that I used to be Jeff. I now had nothing to lose, so I told her it was true, which made her examine me a bit closer. I saw her face grow cloudy with doubt, yet both Sarah and I had said it was true. Sarah and I just waited until Kelly finally shrugged her shoulders, a clear sign that while she still had doubts, she would accept what we told her. I was gratified to know that at least one person thought I was a girl, and believed so much that telling her that I wasnt, made her think we were lying. I bent over to pick up my towel, and they both saw the twin mounds of my breasts, which made Kelly suck in her breath. Sarah merely smiled.
"You couldnt look more like a girl even in a bikini Carol!"
"Thank you Sarah! Like I said, Im only doing my best."
"Best my foot." Kelly said, "I think Ill just wrap myself in this towel until you move away!"
"GIRLS!"
We all turned to see my Mother standing there with a plate of cookies and some drinks. She joined us as we devoured the chocolate chips fat makers.
"We have to get you a gown for the party Carol, and I thought we might go today, but if your busy "
Both Kelly and Sarah instantly volunteered to come along, so we all went to change. I wore a simple skirt and blouse, and was ready in about half an hour. Kelly showed up first with Sarah soon after. I expected to just pick out a nice dress, try it on and leave. Thats when I got my first lesson in the art of power shopping as Kelly called it. But it was Mom that directed this show, and the very first place we went into was Vickys Hideaway. I had plenty of panties and bras, so I had no idea what she had in mind, but both Sarah and Kelly caught on right away. A black corselet was handed to me, and as I took it from Mom, she smiled and pointed at a booth, pushing Sarah in with me. I took off my blouse, and without a lot of reservation, the bra. Sarah stared at me but didnt say anything as she wrapped the garment around me, watching me as I made the hooks up the front, then she began to tighten the laces. I thought I was going to die. Both Sarah and I were panting when she finally decided that I had been compressed enough. As I looked in the mirror, she told me to reach into the bra and pull my boobs up a little! I did what she said, and was rewarded with a magnificent cleavage, the kind that makes men drool on their shoes. My waist was now down to a trim 24 inches, which gave me an hourglass figure! Sarah opened the door and I stepped out, just long enough for Mom to nod her head yes, but told me to leave it on!
With a snicker from Sarah, I put my blouse back on, stuffed my bra into my purse, and rejoined Mom and Kelly.
Kelly, smiling widely, said, "That is a very impressive figure you have Carol!"
Kelly was smiling, but because the breast forms were so good, both she and Sarah thought they were my own. I did not tell them otherwise. Mom paid the bill and we left, with Mom telling me that the range of gowns I could choose from was now a lot larger. I had no idea what she meant by that, unless it was because my waist was smaller. How stupid they must have thought I was. As women, they knew that men are very visual, and to attract their attention, women use all sorts of tricks to be noticed. That much I knew. Low cut gowns, narrow waists and a bright smile all worked to make a woman desirable. What I did not know was that most gowns force the wearer to walk a certain way, act a certain way, and of course, exude femininity. Its wasnt always the cut of the gown, or the material, or how low cut it was, no. A gown that fits well forces the wearer to act and feel sexy simply because she knows that she is obligated to the dress, and herself. In other words, femininity is in the mind, only physical beauty can be changed. The four of us left the lingerie shop, the three of them pleasantly comfortable while I felt like I was being squeezed out of existence. None of them even asked how I was.
We finally reached the first of the three dress shops we went to that day. One look was all it took to tell us that their selection was poor, overpriced and shoddy. The next shop was overflowing with dresses in all sorts of colors and materials. Mom picked out two while I also picked out two. But Sarah and Kelly together came up with one. En-masse we went into the back of the store so I could try them on. The first was a purple sheath, slit up the side with a round neck and sleeveless. I gave it a 4. The next was all white, cut like your average a formal. Straight across at the breasts, flaring out at the hips and ankle length. Maybe a 6. The next one, selected by Kelly and Sarah, I liked the best, a solid ten on my scale. The dress was all black. Straps that went from the sweetheart neckline, sleeveless of course, a fitted satin bodice and a flaring chiffon and tulle skirt that quit just at my knees. From every angle it was perfect. The price was right, so mom paid for it, and while I thought we were done, mom said no, and into the third dress shop we went.
Since I already had the dress I wanted, I did not expect it when mom told me to pick out another, for my birthday party. After we all looked around, I settled on a pink sheath dress that had a long matching pink jacket. The dress was plain, but the jacket had a lot of embroidery and sequins sewn on. It was very elegant. We drove back home, then Kelly and Sarah went home while I went to my room to hang up the dress and have mom get me out of that corselet. She declined, telling me I should wear it to break it in. Great. I was beginning to understand the saying that being beautiful is hard work. I helped make dinner, then later, I went up and changed into my swimsuit to take a late dip in the pool. Standing in the pool after a dive, I was dripping wet and lost in thought when I heard the footsteps. I looked up and saw Frank standing there.
I lifted myself out of the pool and stood there. The light cast by the yellow lamps accented the shiny spots on the suit, and I saw his male eyes instinctively scan me up and down. Muted tension lay there between us, the unspoken question lingering in the air. I walked over and took my towel, dried off, then sat at the table.
"I hate this."
"I know you do Frank. Im sorry you feel that way, but I cant help it. I always wanted to be a girl."
"Sarah says that youre as much a girl as she is."
"Do you believe her?" I asked him.
"I dont know what to believe any more! You were my friend!"
"Im still your friend Frank. I always will be, if you let me."
Frank walked over to me, standing next to my chair, so close that I could feel the heat from his body. I also stood up and we faced each other. All of our ventures and games, the tribulations we went through and the friendship we shared filled the air as he tried to accept me. He grinned and frowned, I saw the tear in his eye and the balled fist of his hand. Then he grabbed me by the shoulders and yanked me forward as his arm went around me and his lips touched mine. He was not shy about it either. He pressed against me with an eager passion even as he pulled me closer. The air around me filled with static as a tingle like I had never felt before went through me. Then I felt it. Frank had an erection! He was pressing against my bare leg, hard to ignore. I broke away, yet didnt move away. He was panting and I was scared. Bill had not had this effect on me. Frank seemed to fill me with a joy that I had never experienced before, and that scared me.
He didnt say one word as he stepped forward and kissed me again. That same feeling of electricity went through me, and I know that he felt it too. I let him hold me for a moment longer, then sat down again, but smiled at him to let him know that I didnt mind his kissing me one bit.
"Carol, would you let me take you out on Saturday?"
"I have a very formal party to go to on Saturday, but if you want to be my escort, I would like that."
"What time?"
"Wear your best suit and be here at six, okay?"
"Ill be here Carol, and thanks."
He left the way he came, across the yards, and as he faded into the night I felt as if I had conquered something. Something very important to both Frank and I. First Bill, and now Frank had found me attractive in a sexual way, and both had responded as any male would. My effect on both Bill and Frank made me feel good, yet I still harbored that little grain of doubt, the one that told me I might be wrong. The effect I was having on them left me in awe of the hidden power women have over men, and realized how mom had managed to get dad to do things he didnt want to do. While Frank was twisting my ideas of womanhood into nothingness, I had a power over him that he did not understand. I only understood a little of that power myself. I remained outside until the night air made me chilly, then went in, and wore the flannel nightgown to bed. I slept like a baby.
I told mom that Frank was taking me to the party, which caused her eyebrows to raise up, but all she did was nod her head. I wore shorts and a top, helping mom clean the entire house from top to bottom. It usually took her three days, but the two of us got it done in one. She had to leave, so I started the laundry, and had most of it done by the time she got home. All that was left was to hang up the clothes.
"Eager to become a wife Carol?"
"No, Im eager to learn how to be a woman."
"How is it so far?"
"Busy."
Mom and I had dinner ready by the time Dad got home. He did not say a word about my becoming a girl, and I felt he had finally accepted it. Kelly stopped by around seven, and she and I took a walk.
"Sarah says that Frank is taking you to that fancy party."
"Yeah, I asked him to."
"How good a kisser is he?"
My silly grin gave me away even though I tried to deny the fact that he had kissed me, and Kelly picked up on it right away.
"Uhuh. I see it now. Ive been a girl all my life, tried to get Franks attention using every trick I know, all with no success, and here you come, little Carol, a girl for maybe what? A week at most? And Franks falls head over heels for you!"
There wasnt any anger in her voice, just resignation. Thats when I told her who had been carrying a torch for her for a long time, and that he was afraid to tell her.
"You were in the right park Kelly, just the wrong seat. Bill is the one you should be after. He really does like you a lot!"
"But I thought that he I mean that you two were "
I shook my head no. "I like him, and hes really gentle inside, but Frank, well, what can I say? He kissed me last night and I lit up like a Christmas tree. I felt like mush inside Kelly, but dont you dare let him find out!"
"He already knows that silly! He feels the same way!"
Kelly and I walked around for a while longer, then I went home alone. The day after tomorrow was the big day, and I planned on spending every minute of it getting ready. Mom had told me that in the morning she and I were going to have some kind of talk without telling me what it was about, but I was guessing. Sex. I was about to get the mother daughter talk about the birds and the bees for girls. I thought that foolish since there was absolutely no way I could get pregnant. I could have plenty of fun, all I wanted as a matter of fact, and never get pregnant.
Over coffee, mom and I talked, and it did include sex, but also, much more. Things that I never once considered because it was irrelevant. Things like sanitary napkins and Tampons, personal hygiene and all the things women have to do to stay clean. Fresh was the word she actually used. For the life of me I could not figure out why she was telling me all this. I mean, well, I wear a panty that only lets me look like a girl. I dont have the symptoms so to speak. But Mom pointed out that women have to pay close attention to themselves or strange things can happen. Unaware of some of the things she explained to me, I began to sense that she was trying to tell me more, but didnt know how. I was about to ask her when she told me.
"The woman that sold you that panty" Mom said, "told me that the latex it is made out of is very close to the structure of real skin, and is often used on burn patients to help them heal up quicker. By using it to make the panty she also took the risk of an infection setting in if the wearer did not maintain themselves just like a normal woman would, which is why we are having this talk. I am going to show you how to do all of this, and while I know it will be embarrassing, you have to do it, on a regular basis. Lets go to your room and begin, shall we?"
Mom was right. It was very embarrassing to have her guide me through it all. She watched as I inserted a tampon then removed it, used a sanitary napkin and worse, cleaned out the panty. That was the worst of it. But with each lesson, I grew to understand women better, including the discomfort caused by all of this. When I slid the tampon in, I could feel it because the backing on the panty was so thin. It made me wonder about well, never mind. Before I was allowed to get dressed again, I had to insert another tampon, and wear it for the rest of the day. Talk about a weird feeling. With every step, every movement, I could feel it pushing on my own skin, back and forth, up and down, the constant rhythm of movement making me feel extremely feminine. It was as if I had been inducted into the World of W omen. Having Mom tell me about all this was embarrassing, but when she got to the part about sex, she went into great detail on why I should not let a boy use me, then told me there were many other ways to make them happy without that, and told me what they were. Shocked that she would tell me such things, I fell silent.
Of course I knew about the things she told me, all guys do, but to hear it from my own mother, in clinical terms, was something I did not expect. As yet, I had never met a girl that would, or had done any of those things, and prior to the moment Frank sent me into ecstasy, I would never have even considered it possible for me to think about, let alone do. As I finished dressing I wondered why mom had told me all this. I had thought I would just have the summer to be a girl, but she sounded as if this might go on longer, a lot longer. I went to have a bite to eat, finishing just as Frank and Bill showed up.
"Carol "
The stereo sound as they both spoke at the same time sounded funny, yet by the expression on their faces I knew that something serious was in the air. We sat out on the patio, Frank on my right, Bill on the left. Bill spoke first.
"Carol, you and I will always be friends, you know that, but we "
I interrupted him. "Let me guess Bill. That torch youve been carrying for Kelly finally lit up again."
She came over this morning, and we talked."
"I understand Bill. Youve had a thing for her since third grade."
I felt Franks hand as he put it on my leg, and with a gentle squeeze, told me he was still interested, and I told Bill that I had asked Frank to take me to the party. As he stood up, he kissed me on the cheek and told me that he would always be there for me whenever I needed him, then left Frank and I alone as he walked back home.
"He loves you Carol, but like a brother I think."
"What about you Frank? Are you going to leave me too?"
"After what happened last night? Not hardly. No, youre stuck with me."
"But you thought I was so weird."
"That was just shock Carol. The minute I saw you I was attracted to you, and that scared me at first. Sarah told me that she thinks that youre as much a girl as she is, and coming from her, the eternal pessimist, that is very high praise, and she would not have told me that unless she meant it. Thats why I came over last night. I saw you on the patio, then I saw you in that swimsuit, and understood what Sarah meant."
"So you only want my body?"
"Sure I do, but not only that Carol. I want you to have this."
Frank pressed his class ring into my hand, smiling, those puppy dog brown eyes of his wide as he waited for me to accept. I held his ring in my hand so tight it hurt, unable to say the word yes, yet he and both knew I would. He stood up, pulling me to my feet, then kissed me hard, his hand falling to my back as he pulled me closer. Gasping as he suddenly released me, I watched as he left for home, telling me he would be there at six on Saturday. I was weak in the knees, and just stood there with his ring clutched in my hand, watching his back when mom walked out.
"That was some kiss!"
I plopped into the chair, smiling as I opened my hand to show her the prize.
Mom said nothing about the ring, and we simply enjoyed the warm sun together. That night, while I was tempted to tell dad, I didnt, afraid it might set him off again. The next morning I began to get ready, planing on an entire day of luxurious pampering for my debut as my parents daughter. Mom had told me the night before that they would rather have me be their daughter rather than a niece, and I liked the idea a lot. I sank into the warm sudsy water, and began to shave my legs, rising to the rest of my body, going slowly so I did not nick my skin. Then I used a lotion to make my skin soft, followed by a dusting of powder that carried the same scent as my perfume. Wrapped in a robe, I went to the kitchen and got some more coffee, returning to my room so I could paint my toenails. With cotton balls between each toe, I was watching television when Mom came in.
"Based on the way you and Frank were looking at each other, I should probably have you wear a chastity belt, but I have these instead."
In her hand was a pair of very sheer black panties. By the look of them, there wasnt enough material there to cover my hand let alone anything else! I took them, then stepped into them, and pulled them to my waist. The triangle was small but covered me, the two straps went to my hips, falling to the equally small bottom cover. The panties made my legs seem to go on forever. Without a word, Mom went to the bed and held up the corselet, and I stood there as she fastened me into it, then made the laces tight, drawing my waist down to 24 inches again.
"That should do it Carol. Now youre ready to do battle in the wide world of jealous men and envious women."
"Huh?
"The men will look at you and wish they were Franks age while the women will remember when they were young and become envious of your beauty."
It was the first time Mom had ever said that I was beautiful! "I gave you those panties for a reason dear. From the skin outward youll feel feminine right to the core of your being, and that will let you relax and simply be yourself. You dont have to impress anyone, all you have to do is be the woman you said you always were. Those panties are almost next to nothing, which means that your not hiding anything, and you are a very real girl, our daughter."
I started to say something, but she held up her hand and merely told me to finish getting dressed. As the door closed I looked in the mirror, almost shocked by the smallness of that black triangle. I had shaved two days ago, and knew that I had to do that, and went in the bath, shaving as carefully as I could, waited a few minutes for my skin to dry, then sat at my vanity. I used a skin lotion first, then began my makeup. Foundation as thin as I could manage to get away with, powder to set it, brushing off the excess with a brush, leaving my skin looking soft and not shiny or greasy. Eyeshadow and eyeliner, then mascara and blusher, all carefully applied, the colors chosen from the chart the professional gave me at the salon. I brushed out my hair, then used a curling iron to create the look I wanted and set it with that liquid cement type of hairspray.
At Moms urging, I had a pair of hose, and for the first time, I rolled them up my legs, then struggled with the four garter tabs before I found success. I adjusted them tight, then reached for the dress. I let the straps settle on my shoulders then zipped it up, adjusting the fit as I looked in the mirror. Without even thinking about it, I reached into the dress and hiked up my breasts, creating a better cleavage while making the dress look better at the same time. My feet slid into the open toed black patent leather heels, then I sat on the bed to make the strap over my ankle tight. I knew that I did not need much jewelry, but how could I resist? I fastened the gold and black chandelier earrings, then secured the gold choker necklace around my neck, letting the small centered pendant lay at the cusp of my throat. I did not wear a watch or bracelet. I slipped the one good ring I had on my finger, then, after some thought, stuffed Franks ring into the cleft of my breasts, letting it fall to the corselet. Satisfied, I used the perfume, then painted my lips a soft red to match my fingernail polish. My clutch bag already had everything in it except my lipstick, which I added. I had twenty minutes before Frank would be here.
As the sound of my heels reached the familyroom, I saw dad stand up when he saw me. His eyes were wide, yet a smile creased his face as he motioned me to him. Mom wasnt there yet, and I moved to sit down, but dad told me to stand. Then he came to me, put his arms around me, and hugged me. We held each other for a long time. As he released me, I saw him open his hand.
"This is from me."
I opened the box, saw the small diamond ring and matching earring set, and went silent as I looked into his face.
"Its obvious that I was wrong Carol. You could not look this way, or have the effect on people, especially Frank, that you do unless you were meant to be a woman. I can see that now. Take the ring as my way of saying Im sorry."
"You didnt need to do this dad! All you had to do was "
"Take the ring Carol. Tonight we are going to introduce you as our daughter, and I want you to know we both accept that as the truth. Can you accept that?"
I hugged him hard, kissed his cheek, then slipped the ring on my finger. Somehow, it seemed a fitting compliment to how I looked, and more, how I felt. His love was all that I ever wanted, and now it seemed, I had it, as a father loves a daughter. Mom showed up right then, and I think she looked smashing. She wore a pale silver chiffon gown that really showed off her figure well. Frank arrived right after that, and after some pictures, we left for the country club. Frank held my arm as we walked in, met by Jack and his wife. Jack was a bit heavy, not unusual for a man his age I guess. His wife however was reed thin and short, about 411" tall. Both were pleasant, and guided us to the table, greeting Frank equally nice. During dinner, Jack asked me a lot of questions, most general, but a few that were very personal. Like my age and so on. He also asked me if Frank and I were a couple! When I said yes her only smiled while dad choked a bit and mom merely smiled.
We danced and ate, danced some more, listened to the music and generally had a wonderful time. I did experience a few stares from Elaine, Jacks wife, but mom reminded me in the restroom what she said about envy, and I finally understood what she meant. On the way home, Frank had his hand on my leg, then at home, he and I wandered out into the back yard alone. Just the stars lit the scene as we stood under the big tree. His lips met mine, and we embraced, searching our minds for a reason to stay there. Frank found it when he took my hand and put it on him. Frozen by his blatant move, his hands sought out my butt, then held us together. As he moved my hand moved with him, and for the first time I felt another boy. Excitement coursed through us both as we each struggled with that forbidden idea, yet we both knew we could not. Finally, he broke away, yet my hand remained. That part of me that screamed for me to confirm my feminine self was yelling in one ear, but the words of my mother rang in the other until I let go of him.
Frank and I both wanted to play explore, him driven by instinct while I was driven by my newly acquired freedom to be myself. I went in the house, knowing that someday, maybe soon, I would commit an act unthinkable just a few weeks before this. It turned out to be about three months. I went to work in dads office as a clerk, and never returned to being a boy. At my birthday party, the family was told, all at one time, that I had become their daughter, and from that moment on my name was Carol Elizabeth. A month after that my name was legally changed, and that fall I started in a private school for girls only, graduating the following Spring. Frank and I consummated our relationship, and I know he loved it as much as I did. We are still a couple as are Kelly and Bill. Sarah began her training to become a nurse, Mom and I grew very close while dad and I mended our hurts, becoming the close knit family we were before this all started.
Do I still have doubts? Yes, but they are rare. Right after graduation I started the regimen to become a real woman. They say it will take two years. I can hardly wait.
© 2000
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