Mother and Daughter Club – Chris's story

by Cathi King

 

Celina Potter began telling Christine's story while he played with the other 'girls'. Christine was a pretty little 8 year old, with just over the shoulder length blond hair that was cut in a bob style and held back with a navy blue ribbon. He had on a navy blue and white party dress - it had a solid poplin bodice with polka dot pleated skirt dress and sun flower bows – very cute.

"It all began about 18 months ago. Chris was 7. His father was away on business – again - and I had got tickets to a matinee of Swan Lake conducted by the local professional ballet company. I decide to take Chris. I have always loved ballet and had hoped to be able to share this love with my daughter. Unfortunately in having Chris I….well lets just say I can not have any more children…"

'Oh that is terrible' said Beth 'It must have been so hard for you'

"At first it was, but I had Chris… and well we are very close. My husband is away so much, so Chris and I spend a lot of time together'

'That is so wonderful and he really does make such a pretty girl – you must be so proud"

"I am. No mother could ask for a better son. He loves his 'girl time' and I now have the 'daughter' I have always wanted'.

The women paused and looked at Christine who was dressing up a Bratz doll with another little 'girl' Susan. Susan whispered something to him and the two 'girls' began to giggle. The women smiled and returned to Celina's story.

'The performance was magnificent. Chris loved it. He could not take his eyes off the dancers. When the show finished he turned to me and said 'I wanted to do that'. I was a little surprised, but also delighted - he had never been very interested in any particular activities. He was always so quiet and was not into anything 'physical'. His father would often pass comment on his lack of activity but because he was always traveling never did anything about it.

That week I asked around, went on the internet and looked in the local phone book. There was only one dance studio within an hour of our home. It was run by a lady called Mrs. Clements. I rang and asked if I could enroll Chris. She was a little surprised by my requests as apparently 'dance' was not a thing boys typically did in this area. In fact he would be the only one in the class. I assured her that he was very keen and was very well behaved. She agreed to take him on a trial basis. She then told me that 'uniform' for dance practice was a powder blue leotard sold by her (no exceptions) and appropriate dancing shoes (also sold by her). I must admit at the time I though she was a bit of a dictator – she even insisted I call her Mrs. Clements – but given the fact there was nothing else around I agreed. She also said she would email additional information about dress code, practice etc over the next couple of days.

After I got off the phone, I went and found Chris. I told him I had found a place but that he would be the only boy and would have to wear a leotard. I thought he might balk, but in fact he seemed rather excite"

"Oh mummy thank you so much – when do I start, when do I get my leotard and shoes, what dances do I learn……."

"The questions came thick and fast. I was touched by his enthusiasm and told him we would start at the next practice in three days time but first we had to get his leotard and shoes. I met Mrs. Clements the next day and picked up the uniform. She was actually much nicer in person than over the phone. The uniform included some complimentary powder blue ribbons and scrunche, and some white hair slides."

"I know you don't need them," said Mrs. Clements "but I insist that the girls are all dressed the same and that includes their hair – I call it my Ribbon Discipline."

"I thanked her and told her we would be there next Tuesday at 5.00pm.

"When I got back in the car Chris insisted on getting out the leotard and shoes."

"Can I try them on when I get home?"

"He was so excited. I was so happy for him. I kept the ribbons, scrunche and hair slides hidden. When we got home I printed out the e-mail Mrs. Clements had left while Chris got changed. The e-mail was standard stuff try to be at practice 5 minutes early etc. It also stated very clearly that the 'girls' – yes 'girls'; it was very obvious that she had never had boys before – had to participate in at least one of the two dance recitals performed each year – more on that later. The instructions were also very clear about hair. Apparently she is obsessed by it and demands that all the 'girls' hair is 'secured to their head so it does not 'interfere with their concentration'. Chris's hair was not as long as it is now, but is was longer than most boys, brushed to one side. His father often commented on it, but I figured if he wanted it cut he could take him – which he never did. It was clear that I would have to 'secure' his hair with slides and possible even put it in a ponytail, pigtails or a small bun - the alternative was to get it cut short boy style. I must admit I was reluctant to get it cut – I like it longer. It really suited him. Any way at that point he turned up changed into the leotard and shoes. He looked adorable."

"How do I look mummy?"

"Wonderful darling; just wonderful."

"And then he tried a little twirl. And when he turned to face me there was the biggest grin on his face. My heart jumped; he was so happy. Well it was then I told him that I had the other instructions from Mrs. Clement's and that he would have to get his hair cut."

"But why mummy – I don't want to get it cut"

"I explain that if he did not do that I would have to put it in a ponytail, pigtails or a bun and put hair slides in his hair to make sure it did not 'distract him'. I told him that was Mrs. Clements rules. He went very quiet and thoughtful for a moment."

"OK, mummy"

"What sweetie?" I asked.

"OK mummy put it in a ponytail, piggietails, slides and stuff."

"I was quite taken back at first, and had to explain to him that his hair would have to be secured with elastic and ribbon like a girl. He thought again. I could feel my heart begin to beat hard. He took forever to answer. I wanted him to say 'that's OK suddenly I started to imagine doing his hair up and buying pretty little accessories to decorate it."

"Oh" he said.

"My heart sank."

"Just like a …………girl".

"Then he floored me."

"What color ribbons?" he asked

"Well blue like you leotard"

"Well I really want to do it mummy, so you can put ribbons in my hair."

"And that was it – all of a sudden our lives change."

"Ok sweetheart" I said not trying to change the moment. "do you want to do it now so you know how it looks?"

I looked at him. He looked away and I though good job Celia you just blew it.

Then he said, very quietly

"Well ok, just to see what it looks like."

"Wait here darling".

"My heart would not stop beating. I went to my room and got the ribbons, a hair brush and the hair slides. When I got back Chris was sitting quietly."

"Please sit on the floor darling in front of mummy."

"Chris sat on the floor and I began to brush out his hair. I felt a tingle of anticipation. He really does have beautiful hair………….. anyway I brushed it out until it shone. Then brushed it back off his face and gathered it in a ponytail at the back. I secured it with elastic then used the slides to secure the other stray hairs to his head. Then I took a half inch blue ribbon and tied it in a bow around the ponytail. I then brushed out his ponytail and arranged his bangs. I sat back and looked down. Chris looked at me expectantly. I began to tear up."

"What is it mummy?" he asked "What is wrong?"

I just shook my head. "Nothing darling.. mummy is just being silly… you look very nice"

"I wanted to scream that he looked more than nice. He looked adorable!!!!!!! Oh just thinking about it makes me cry. Sitting in front of me was the prettiest little girl. My little girl. All I could think about is how pretty 'she' looked."

"Can you stand up for mummy" I asked

Chris stood up. He looked so cute in his leotard with his hair tied back in a ponytail and ribbon.

"Do you want to see what you look like?"

"Oh yes please!!!!!" he said with such enthusiasm

"Well lets go and have a look at you' and I lead him to my bedroom where I have a full length mirror."

When he saw himself he just stared. Moved his head back and forth; turned from side to side. I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing…. He just looked so adorable.

"Well………………….."

"I like it mummy."

"Is the hair Ok …we can still get it cut……"

"No ……I like it like that" he said.

"Do you want to try it another way??? Just in case……." I asked

"Well…..if you think I should……"

"We better find out what works best for you' I added quickly' come here baby lets put it in a bun……"

"I was so happy….it was just like having my own daughter and I began to wonder how far I could take this. Would he be open to more than just doing his hair? Could I put him in a dress? Oh the thought of my own daughter was making my heart race. Put his hair in a small bun and wound the scrunche around it. Then I did it up in too small pigtails with ribbons – so cute – made him look like a little 5 year old girl. All the time he waited patiently until I finished and took great delight in looking in the mirror.

While he still had his hair in pigtails, I asked him to change and he came back with shorts and a tee shirt but had not touched his hair. He stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon – playing and watching TV. Round dinner time he was lying on the floor facing the TV. He could not see me. He was twirling one of the pigtails with his hand and from behind just looked like a little girl watching her favorite program. Finally it was time for bed. He changed into his pjs and as I reluctantly took the ribbons from his hair I asked him."

"Did you have fun today?"

"Yes I did mummy"

"Did you like you ballet outfit?"

"Yes mummy – very much."

"Which way did you like mummy doing your hair…. ponytail, pigtails or bun?"

"I liked them all" he said without hesitation.

"Would you like mummy to do your hair again tomorrow?" I asked keeping the conversation light and casual.

"…that would be ….good."

"Perhaps you would like mummy to show you how to do it? Then you can wear it any way you want any time. In fact I could by you other hair accessories so you can do lots of different things with your hair –would you like that?"

He hesitated – I thought I had gone too far. He then nodded. Then added in a quiet voice.

"Yes mummy that would be nice."

"Ok sweetheart. We can get something tomorrow."

The next day Chris was up early. He watched TV until I got up.

"We have to go shopping today Chris. Time to get changed."

"He dutifully went to his bed room where I had left out a pair of denim shorts and a white tee shirt with Mickey Mouse on it. I must admit I was being deliberately unisex. It was an out fit that could be worn by boy or girl.

When Chris was changed I quickly brushed his hair. This time however in stead of brushing it to the side, I brush it to the front and trimmed it into bangs."

"What are you doing mummy?" he asked.

"It is just a bit long baby so I thought I would trim the front to keep it out of your eyes."

I them brushed it back behind the ears. And stood back. He looked just like a little girl.

"Time to go baby."

We drove down to the large mall.

"We need to get some more things fro your hair…remember."

"Ok" he said and held my hand as we went to the local accessory store.

"You have a look around and see if there is any thing you like . I will get a few things."

"While he looked I quickly grabbed some hair slides, a hair claw, ribbons, head bands, scrunchies and some elastics. I also selected hair bows and some 'little girl makeup – you know cherry and strawberry lipstick etc. I also bought brushes. I could hardly wait to get home!!!".

"As we were leaving the girl behind the counter said – would you daughter like a candy?"

"If Chris heard he said nothing."

"Yes she would" I replied – my heart fluttering. She thought Chris was my daughter. It was so exciting."

"I know. It gives you such a thrill when someone thinks they are a girl.. Please continue." said Beth.

"Well then we had some lunch and I was all set to go home when I saw it."

'Summer special – girls nightwear age 4 to 10'

"It was like it was meant to be."

"Come with me baby we need to get some things for you in here." Chris followed.

"I wandered around and selected some baby doll and Disney princess nighties. Chris just watch me. He said nothing. When I looked a t him he just smiled and looked away.

When we got back to the car he asked."

"Are those clothes for me mummy?"

"Yes dear they are. Do you like them?"

"Are they girl's clothes mummy?"

"Yes they are. I t thought they might be fun for a change".

"Ok" was all he said.

"When we got home I did his hair pulled back at the top and tied off with a yellow ribbon. Chris thanked me and spent the rest of the day with the ribbon in his hair."

"That night I laid out an Ariel nightie and put his hair back with matching light blue head band. He then crawled up on the couch and snuggled into me as we watched 'The Little Mermaid' together. Half way through the movie my little girl looked up at me and said.

"Doesn't Ariel have pretty hair… wish mine was long like hers"

I could have cried. I looked down and said 'We can grow it longer of you like and we could even get you a wig like Ariel's to play dress up in."

"Could we mummy?"

"Yes baby we sure can."

He smile at me and then went to sleep.

"The following weekend I got him an Ariel costume, a Princess Jasmine costume and a Belle costume; as well as a doll to match each one. I also purchase a child's auburn, black and red wig to go with each costume. I spent a fortune but it was worth it as we played Disney princesses all weekend. I was in heaven and so was Chris."

"Would you like to see the photos – he looks just adorable."

"Oh yes please" said Rosemary.

Celina reached in to her bag and pulled out a small photo album with the words 'My Little Darling' on the front. She then showed the pictures of Chris dressed as Ariel, Jasmine and Belle.

"You are right – he looks adorable" said Rosemary. He makes a beautiful princess."

"Well he certainly did last Halloween… but that is another story." added Celina

"But getting back to the Chris's first ballet lesson" said Celina as she packed away the photo album.

"I must admit I was more worried about how Mrs. Clements would react when I turned up with my son looking like a little girl, than with Chris's performance at the lesson. But I decide if he was going to look like a girl he might as well be as girly as possible, so I put him in pigtails with ribbons and hair slides. Interestingly Chris did not seem nervous at all - just excite.

When we arrive there were already 3 girls there, including a very pretty little girl with long brown hair called Charlotte. I walked in and introduced myself to Mrs. Clements.

"Chris is here for h…the first lesson – deliberately not referring to his gender just in case some one heard and wondered why my son had pigtails!!!!"

"Where is Chris?" said Mrs. Clements.

"Over there on the bench. The blond hair in pigtails. Chris did not want to get the hair cut… and you had very strict hair rules…. so….." I said very nervously trying to explain my son's appearance.

Mrs. Clements looked at me. "What you do with your child is your business. Just as long as Chris listens and behaves for me; that is all that matters."

"I breathed a sigh of relief and 5 minutes later Chris was out on the floor being introduced to the other 'girls' by Mrs. Clements.

The practice began. Chris surprised me by picking up the movements more quickly than I expected. I also noticed that when there was break in the action the girl called Charlotte kept talking to Chris. I must admit I was a little worried but did not want to give anything away so I just sat there.

Towards the end of the meeting a lady approached me and introduced her self as Belinda – Charlotte's mother."

"You have a very pretty daughter there" - my heart skipped a beat again.

"Thank you" I said "so is your daughter."

"They seem to be getting on very well – I must admit Charlotte can be a bit of a chatter box. I hope she is not annoying your daughter" there was the "D" word again – I must confess my heart was racing at this point.

"That's Ok; Chris is very quiet so they should make a good pair".

"She laughed and we stared to chat. She ask me a whole lot of questions about me, Chris and my marriage etc. I found talking about him as a girl came so easy to me – a bit too easy."

"We must get the girls together' said Belinda

"I agree – lets arrange a play date?" I heard myself reply without even thinking.

"That would be great…in fact we are going for pizza now if you would like to join us"

"So we joined Charlotte and her mother for Pizza – that day and nearly every day after practice that summer. The two 'girls' would talk and play. They would bring their Bratz dolls, coloring books or some other amusement. Belinda and I would chat."

"Where is Christine going to school" Belinda always called him Christine and of course I loved that.

"We are booked into the local elementary school." I replied

"It is such a shame Christine could not attend St Mary's with Charlotte. I know she would love it. I could arrange a visit if you like."

I hesitated. A girl's school – thoughts of Chris in school uniform with hair in ribbons. Oh if only…….

"Thanks Belinda but I think we will stay with the elementary school."

"I understand. But if you change your mind just let me know."

"Over the summer Chris's father rang once a week. I told him about the ballet. He was not happy, but I told him not to be silly and that lots of boys did ballet. If only he knew what a cute little ballet girl his son made he would have hit the roof. I told Chris to not talk about our 'girl' time and his dressing up for ballet. He seemed to understand and my husband was never the wiser."

At the third practice Mrs. Clements introduced the end of term recital.

"We are going to do a series of dances for parents and friends to show what the girls have learnt. Please read the handout that describes the dances and associated costumes. The first costume will need some modification. I will leave makeup up to you but please try and keep to a minimum and hair must be up in a bun for all three dances. I also recommend white hair accessories as it will go with all three costumes. Most girls will do all group dances and I need two mothers to volunteer to change the girls between group dances. Two girls will do solos - I will talk directly to those mothers - while the other girls change. The solos will not participate in the next group dance."

Celia read the handout:

The first dance will be 'Spring has Sprung'. The girls will need a flower costume and I would recommend a Capezio Satin Doll Tutu Dress. This is a sweet tutu dress trimmed with pink satin piping and large pink bow.  Sparkle Tulle adds just the right amount of shine for little girls. I will need you to adapt it so each girl looks like a flower – I have patterns available that can help you with this.

The next dance is shortened version of Swan Lake which I modify for young girls. It will require a Juliet Tutu Skirt which is a great performance basic. Two full layers of netting fall just below the knee and are paired with the satin basic bodysuit.

The final piece is a call 'Sky Dance' and will require a Fairy Gems Cap Sleeve Dress
which is a soft crushed velvet poly-spandex leotard, highlighted by an attached mesh skirt with holographic foil sparkles.

Belinda approached me. " I know it looks expensive but the costumes are quite reasonable – also I can help you with the flower alterations"

"Thank you" I said. My head was a whirl. My little boy's first recital as a girl. I was so excited. I looked at Chris but he was busily chasing the other 'girls' around the dance floor'. He looked so happy and so cute with his little ponytail bobbing behind him.

A moment of panic – mothers to help change the girls – I quickly approach Mrs. Clements and offered my assistance. She accepted without comment. I suspect she knew why I was so keen.

On the drive home I asked Chris what he thought of the recital. He was so excite.

"When can I get the dresses mummy?" "And we get to wear make up" "Charlotte says…."

Not one doubt in his mind – he could hardly wait.

That night I dressed him in a baby doll nightie and braided his hair. Then got him to braid mine – he was getting very good. As we sat at my vanity brushing his hair for bed I said to him

"You enjoy this don't you sweetheart. This dressing up and being mummy's little girl"

"Yes mummy I do. I wish I had been born a girl just like you mummy" I stopped brushing his hair and gave him a big hug.

"You are a girl baby; you are mummy's girl and tomorrow we can go shopping and get you some skirts, tops and dresses – would you like that. We can set the spare room up as your girl room and you can be a girl with mummy anytime you want"

"'Oh mummy…." And he began to cry. We sat their and cuddled.

"Oh mummy I am so happy to be your little girl'

"So am I sweetheart; so am I"

"After that I bought a wardrobe of girl's clothes for Chris and he began dressing as a girl most of the time. I would have like to send him to St Mary's, but I could not (too many questions) so I chose to home school him. Towards the end of summer my husband sent me an e-mail to saying he was not coming back – found some bimbo and had move in with her. I was relieved.

The recital was great success. It was so much fun making the costume, doing his hair and makeup (even got him blond hair extension for the bun). He looked so cute in his dresses and had such a good time. He is still doing ballet and now says he wants o be a 'prima dona ballerina'. He has also taken up other forms of dance including jazz and tap. He has become very close to Charlotte who he has had over with other girls form ballet for sleepovers.

After the recital there was a party for the mother and girls. As we were leaving Belinda took me aside and said how much she had enjoyed meeting me and my 'son'. You could have floored me. I asked her how she knew and if anyone else knew. She said she never would have guessed except that Mrs. Clements told her."

"I was so angry with that woman and told her that was none of her business" said Belinda. "Chris is a wonderful little girl and you should be happy to have such a pretty and well behaved daughter."

"I was so relived to be able to share this with someone and Belinda and I have become very close.

I now have the daughter I have always wanted, and when I heard about your club I knew it was just made for Chris and me."

"That is a wonderful story" said Beth, and reinforces what I have always said –'In every little boy there is a beautiful girl just waiting to show herself and it is up to us mothers to help her come out'.

We all turned at looked at Chris who was brushing his Bratz dolls hair. He looked up and smiled at his mother – he really was a very pretty girl!!!!

  

  

  

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