Mommy Must I

by Robin Diaz

 

Chapter Eleven

We all talked during the ride back home. I thanked Aunt Monica for everything. I was curious about Abbey. But, I did not know how to change the subject. Aunt Monica switched the subject; she explained the ground rules for when we got home. I was not to tell mom how much Aunt Monica spent. As far as mom was to know, Aunt Monica took us to a discount shop. We were to say that she didn't spend more than a couple hundred dollars. I remember some of mom and Becky's conversations. Mom would always say that the outfits looked expansive and Becky would say how Aunt Monica knew how to shop and that she didn't spend much. Mom was fond of saying that Monica knew how to make the most of her money. Aunt Monica stated that if mom found out what she really spent she would never be able to take us shopping again.

Becky then let me know how she felt if I ruined everything by blabbing, "Little sister, if you get diarrhea of the mouth and blab to mom I'll tie you to the railroad tracks."

We didn't get far before Aunt Monica's phone rang. We had to sit in silence while she conducted business. Sitting in silence started me thinking about what was going to happen when we got home. I thought about the girls seeing me at the movies. I thought about school. I was already a social outcast, invisible to most kids. Now, I worried that I will be a walking joke and a target for bullies.

Becky thought about Bobby and the day's happenings. At times she felt he was a little embarrassing to be with, the way he kept staring at girls. However most of the day he was fun to be with. She could not remember him ever being so happy. He was still quiet and shy, but she could tell he was enjoying the day. He definitely was not a drag to be around. She felt the little sister in him especially came out when he wore the red dress. It was apparent that Bobby Sue was elated with wearing the red dress. Becky wished she had changed him into a girl years ago.

As the car turned into the trailer park and the gravel crunched under the tires, I felt heavy. I thought about Paige and wondered what she went through to be herself. Thinking about returning home started too make anxious. I wondered what awaited me. I wished my life would go back to the way it was before all this started. I also wished that I never had to go back. I turned and looked out the back window. There was a large puffy white cloud. I watched it drift away. A tear rolled down my cheek.

As Aunt Monica parked the car, a train whistle blew. It was a south bound freight. It was moving fast. As Aunt Monica turned the car off she reminded us what to say about how much she had spent. I leaned across the seat and unhooked my red dress. I felt the dress was a stupid purchase and a waste of money. I will never have an opportunity to wear the dress.

I assumed the way Aunt Monica hurried inside, not offering to help us with any of the bags; she must of had to use the toilet. I heard the rumble of the train engine. I prepared for what was coming next. The train whistle blew twice. It was much louder and closer. Soon everything would start shaking. The next time the whistle would blow it would be outside our trailer. The sound would be a soul piercing reminder of how my life sucked. Becky had grabbed her bags and hurried in the trailer before I could open the car door. I was alone and moving slowly. The trailer started to shake. The whistle sounded one long scream. Becky had shut the front door. I thought, 'you bitch'. I stood on the trailer step holding my red dress and bag of old clothes, and I watched the train. My body was vibrating from the roar of the three diesel engines. Part of me wanted to turn around and just start walking. I didn't know where to or how far; I just wanted to be somewhere else.

The train cars started the rhythmic cha-clunk sound. I watched the empty black coal cars go by. The south bound trains were faster. The whistle sounded at the next road crossing. After the caboose passed I turned to go inside. Mom was looking out the door window, smiling down on me. She opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face before stepping in.

"SURPRISE"

I was so surprised that if mom hadn't grabbed my arm I might have fallen out of the trailer. The girls started clapping and laughing at my reaction. Vanessa ran up to greet me. Becky, Cathy, Amanda, Sammie and a heavy-set girl all shouted, "Happy Birthday." Aunt Monica was in the kitchen with Mrs. Kiss. Aunt Monica was laughing and clapping. I was glad she found my surprise humorous. Mrs. Kiss raised her beer can and toasted me, "Happy Birthday."

Vanessa looked me over from head to toe, "Bobbie Sue you look great."

Mom took the red dress from me. Vanessa grabbed the shopping bags and followed mom back to my room. I wanted to go with them but Becky ran up next to me. She locked her arm around my arm and leaned in close. "Look twins," she told the girls.

"Oh my god, you do look like twins," Amanda declared.

"Look at your hair, and your make-up, my god you two had some work done," Cathy stated, and then laughed.

Maybe it was because I never liked Cathy, but when I heard her laugh I felt ridiculed. Sammie and the heavy-set girl came over to me. The heavy-set girl was wearing a denim mini skirt and a skin tight black top.

"Bobbie Sue, I want you to meet my little sister Amber."

I thought her little sister looked a lot like her little brother Tommy. She had the same round face, bushy eyebrows, and slight under bite. Her make-up did not hide her acne. She wasn't a very pretty girl.

"After I went home last night I asked Tommy if he knew Bobbie Sue Strikler; I knew then that you and Amber had to meet."

Amber gave me a small wave, "Hi."

"Hi," I felt Tommy was still shy.

Cathy came over, "Wow that is a cute outfit."

"Thanks," Becky replied.

I was trying to determine what was going on. Why were Becky's friends in our trailer throwing me a birthday party? Was Sammie expecting me to be Amber's best friend? I was feeling like I was being used. I would have preferred just having Vanessa and her mom over.

"You should see the red dress Bobbie Sue got. It is so hot." Becky boasted.

Becky still had a hold of my arm. She guided me over to the sofa. The group migrated with us. Vanessa returned with a stack of birthday presents. She set them on the coffee table before moving next to me and holding my hand. Becky and her friends joked and laughed while Becky told of our day. The way Amber and Cathy kept glancing over at me made me feel uncomfortable. I started feeling embarrassed about holding Vanessa's hand. I thought about pulling my hand away but I knew that would hurt her feelings. Besides, there was some sense of security in holding her hand. I glanced over at Amber. She stood next to Sammie but separated from the group.

I decided to take a break from the situation and go into the kitchen, "I'll be right back I need to get a soda. Do you want one?"

"No thanks," Vanessa stated.

When I entered the kitchen Mrs. Kiss complimented me on how great I looked. After I thanked her, Aunt Monica and she left the kitchen. I grabbed a soda from the refrigerator. When I turned around Amber was standing there. I was trapped. I looked for Vanessa. She was talking to her mom and Aunt Monica.

"Do you want a soda?" I asked Amber.

"Diet," Amber spoke in a soft feminine voice.

I grabbed a diet soda and handed it to her.

"Thanks,"

We each opened our soda cans. I took drink.

Amber thought for a second, and then asked, "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Tell your mom."

I thought about what she asked. The truth was that I never told my mom. I admitted to her that I enjoyed looking pretty. But, it was mom who made me dress this way. Mom must have known my true nature. I wondered how she knew. "It was actually my mom's idea. Becky needed help with her prom dress and my mom made me help her. I was Becky's dress form. I don't know how to explain it, but this is me now."

He stood in silence, thinking.

It was an awkward moment of silence. For some reason I did not like Amber. Maybe it was because I felt like the friendship was being forced on me. Maybe it was because Amber looked like a boy in girl's clothes. With the girls I blended in; I felt comfortable. With Amber I felt odd. Then I thought of Paige and how meeting her made me feel better about myself. Thinking of Paige; I realized I should be nicer to Amber.

"How did you tell your parents?" I asked.

"They don't know."

I thought about the last couple days. I had started out being afraid. But as other kids learned my secret and accepted me, the fear was lifted. Then this afternoon was the best day of my life. I had felt the most joy I ever remember feeling, "It is scary but you should tell them."

"I could never tell them. Especially my dad, he can never know."

"Why?"

"I'm his only son. When we are at the club he is always bragging about me; my son did this, my son did that. I see and hear his pride when he speaks about me." He started to take a sip then stopped, "If I was a disappointment to him then maybe it would be different."

He took a sip of his soda.

I didn't know what to say. It was an odd time to think of my dad, but I thought of the night he walked out. Back then we lived in an apartment. I was five years old. I was in my room, sitting on my bed, holding my knees to my chest, not wanting to hear the fight. Mom and Becky were in the living room, crying. Aunt Monica was yelling at dad to get out and never come back. Dad was yelling at her, and threatening her. But Aunt Monica didn't back down. So, dad did what she asked. I remembered the last words dad yelled out before slamming the door, "You bitches can suck my cock."

I suddenly became angry. Did Tommy just imply that I was a disappointment. Talk about being a stuck up rich bitch. I thought his dad shouldn't be proud of him; because he has crap for brains. I tried not to sound angry or cold, but I wanted to end our conversation, "I don't know what to tell you."

I saw Sammie looking at us. I thought she was going to join us, so I set my soda down and walked back to the bath room. I didn't need to go I just wanted to hide. While in the bathroom I fixed my make-up. I then got caught up admiring my reflection. I guess it was everything; the hair extension, the make-up, the new jewelry and the red dress, the total makeover. I was a new me and I loved who I had become.

While walking back to the living room Sammie called to me from my bedroom. I was perturbed that she was in my room. I thought about saying something to her but since she was Becky's friend I decided to be nice.

"What's up?" I asked as I entered my room.

"I just wanted to thank you. You don't know how much this means to Amber and me."

There was something about the way she looked at me that gave me the feeling that she had an ulterior motive, "You're welcome."

"Amber and I have secretly played together since Tommy was five. It has been a secret that he has wanted to share with a friend. But we felt none of Tommy's friends would ever understand. And, Tommy has a real fear about our parents finding out."

"That is what she told me."

"Again, I just wanted to say thanks," She moved towards me to give me a hug.

I was comfortable with receiving a hug.

When we finished she still held my waist, "I also wanted to tell you that you look very pretty tonight."

"Thanks," I enjoyed hearing the complement.

Her kissing me surprised me. I tried to pull back but she slid her arms around my waist and held me. I moved my arms up to her shoulders to push her away, but I never did push her away. There was something about her kiss that I was enjoying. Maybe it was because we were kissing in the bedroom while everybody was in the living room. It could have been that I liked receiving the attention of an older and very pretty girl. Or the fact that she was a good kisser. I slid my arms around her neck. She held me tight and slid her tongue into my mouth. I started thinking of sex.

Sammie slowly pulled back, "We should go to the movies some time."

"What you doing?" Vanessa asked.

I was too shocked to respond. I wondered if she saw us kissing.

"I was just thanking Bobbie Sue for being nice to Amber,"

I turned and looked at Vanessa. I hoped I didn't look guilty.

"We want you to open your presents," she grabbed my hand to pull me along.

When I sat down everybody was circled around the living room. I looked at the stack of presents on the table. Vanessa had stacked them from largest on the bottom to smallest on the top. I picked the smallest box, no more then three inches square. It was taped to a card. I read the card, it was from Cathy. I looked over at her. She looked excited. Because of my long nails it took me a minute to undo the ribbon and unwrap the small black box. Inside the box was a pair of amethyst earrings on gold posts.

Cathy wished me, "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, these are beautiful," I showed everyone the earrings.

"Now you have to get your ears pierced," Mrs. Kiss stated.

I looked at the earrings, "You're right."

"I can do it in the kitchen if you would like. All I need is an ice cube and a needle."

I had not thought about getting my ears pierced, "Maybe later."

I picked up the next box. It was a little bigger then the first but was wrapped the same way. The card was hand made from Amanda. It took me just as long to unwrap her present. Inside the black box was a gold necklace with a single amethyst stone that matched the earrings.

Amanda wished me, "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," I held the necklace up.

"Let me help you put it on," Becky stated steeping next to me.

I stood so she could put the necklace around my neck. I looked down but could not see the stone.

"That really goes with your top," Sammie stated.

"I hope you like it," Amber stated.

"I love it, it is really beautiful."

"You know we share everything now," Becky told me.

"Accept boyfriends," Cathy blurted out.

The girls laughed at her comment. Neither Vanessa, nor I found her funny.

"Keep opening," Aunt Monica told me.

The next thing to open was just an envelope. Inside was a hundred dollar gift card to the mall. It was from Sammie and Amber.

"We didn't know what to get you. But we know it is always fun to go shopping," Sammie told me. They both wished me happy birthday, and I thanked them for the gift.

The next package was from Vanessa and her mom. I was a little surprised and embarrassed by how Vanessa signed the card, Xs and Os across the bottom. I did not pass that card around for everybody to read. Inside the box were several items; a hand and foot spa kit, a bottle of pink nail polish and matching lipstick. I read the color of the lipstick, fabulous fuchsia.

"Thank You," I showed the others what was in the box.

"The soap in the spa kit is made from goat's milk, it is supposed to be great for your skin," Mrs. Kiss told me.

"I can't wait to see the nail polish on you," Vanessa told me.

The girls were passing my presents around and talking.

"Open the next one," Becky told me.

There was not a card.

"It's from me," Becky stated.

As I pulled the wrapping paper off I could see the box was from Macy's. I thought, wow Macy's; that is an expensive store. I was shocked and embarrassed when I revealed a pink night gown. The gown had lace at the top with soft pleats draping down the knee length gown.

The girls cheered when they saw it.

"Hold it up," Becky stated.

I held the night gown up. Receiving the night gown was discomforting; I know having that feeling was silly. I had just received make-up and jewelry. But the night gown was different. The girls continued to give me compliments and tell me how lucky I was.

"You have one more present to open, keep going," Kathy stated.

Vanessa took the night gown from me, "I'll hold if for you."

I looked at the large box. I could see the hand writing on the envelope was moms'. She wrote, To: Bobbie Sue. I wondered what she had bought me. The box was heavier then the others. As I unwrapped the present I could read the printing on the box. She got me a Wii. Mom had spent a fortune on my birthday.

I looked over at her.

"Happy birthday," she smiled.

I could see that she was happy for me, "Thank you."

"That is so much fun to play," Sammie stated.

Becky then started to walk in with the birthday cake. Everybody started singing Happy Birthday. All eyes were on me. Mrs. Kiss quickly moved the presents on the table so that Becky could set the cake down. Vanessa put her arm around my waist. I straightened the hem on my skirt.

"Happy birthday toooo youuuu."

Becky set the cake down just as the singing stopped, "Make a wish."

I looked at everybody, and then at the cake. Beck's words, "Make a wish" kept repeating in my thoughts. I did not know what I wished for. Not that wishes ever come true. My thoughts were interrupted by a train whistle. A fucking train was coming. I wished I didn't live in a god damn trailer next to the fucking rail road tracks. That is what I wished. With one large breath I easily blew out the lone candle.

Mom picked up the cake, "Who wants chocolate ice cream with their cake?"

Aunt Monica jumped in to help, "I'll take a head count, you start cutting."

Everybody wanted ice cream with their cake.

A train whistle blew twice. The north bound was about to cross the road. I fell silent; embarrassed by where I lived. The girls continued to talk and joke around acting as if the train did not exist. Sammie asked which games I got with the Wii. She thought we should hook it up and play. Since I didn't open the box I did not know which games it came with. Vanessa set my night gown on my lap and then volunteered to hook it up for me.

Aunt Monica and Mrs. Kissed served the cake and ice cream while Vanessa hooked up the Wii. Becky and her friends continued with the party. The train rumbled by. I glanced over at Sammie and Amber. I caught Sammie staring at me. Amber seamed rattled by the train noise. I thought, 'You are not on the golf course'.

"Becky says you got a real eye catching red dress," Amanda wanted to draw me into their conversation.

I was uncomfortable explaining how sexy I thought the red dress was, "It's nice." I tried to talk over the train noise.

"It's nice, you should see how sexy she looks in it," Becky raised her voice.

Kathy leaned in closer and hollered, "Can we?"

"I'd like to see you in the dress," Sammie stated in a loud voice.

Becky put her mouth next to my ear, "After the cake model the dress for them."

I gave her a questioning look, kind of a silent argument.

She nodded her head, telling me I should do it, that it will be fun.

I tilted my head, wanting to decline. I was not sure it was the right thing to do.

She put her mouth to my ear, "Trust me."

It was strange, but I did trust her. A week ago my first thought would have been, 'suck my dick bitch'. The instant anger I normally felt towards her when she spoke to me was gone. At that moment I realized the feeling of resentment that I had always felt towards Becky was gone. I looked at Becky. I didn't know what was different, but she looked different. She looked more relaxed. She didn't look like she was ready to lash out at someone.

Aunt Monica came into the room and handed me a piece of cake. The noise from the train lessened. As Aunt Monica started walking back into the kitchen, she turned and told me, "You should show the girls the red dress."

Becky tapped me with her elbow, see I told you.

"Becky and I already discussed that. I thought I would do it after I ate my cake." I looked at Becky and smiled. I had my reasons to give Becky the credit for the idea. I did not want Becky to think the only reason I was doing it was because Aunt Monica had asked. And, I didn't want Aunt Monica to think I would do whatever she asked.

Amber moved closer to me. She didn't say anything. She just moved closer to me and ate her cake. I felt that the polite thing to do would be to say something to her, but I couldn't think of anything to say. So, I quickly took a bite of my cake. I ate my cake feeling lucky.

"So Becky, are you going to show us this prom dress you've been working on?" Kathy asked.

"It's not done. I'll show it to you when I'm finished," Becky stated.

"You should see it, it is beautiful," I stated.

"Now we have to see it," said Amanda.

"If you have to." Becky then looked at me, "Which do you want to model first, your red dress or my prom dress?" She didn't wait for me to swallow the cake I was eating, "Let's show them the prom dress first."

"OK," I thought she should model her prom dress but I wasn't going to argue with her.

Becky looked at me and smiled, "OK." She then looked at the others, "I want to make it clear that I am not done sewing the dress."

Becky and I went back to Becky's room so I could change. Sammie, Amber, Amanda and Vanessa started playing a bowling game on the Wii. Mom, Aunt Monica and Mrs. Kiss were in the kitchen drinking. Aunt Monica drank her wine. Mom and Mrs. Kiss drank beer.

"I think you should wear your new high heels with the dress, and let me get you some hose."

I could tell Becky was excited about me modeling her prom dress, "Whatever you think is best."

We continued to talk while I undressed and she got the clothes out. When she handed me the white slip, is when I realized I was standing in my bra and panties. I also became conscious of the fact, until that moment I had not even given undressing in front of her a thought. We both realized as I took the slip from her that our relationship was different.

Becky broke the awkward moment, "I wanted to tell you that I had a lot of fun today."

I knew I had to say something nice and I wanted to say something meaningful. It was also embarrassing to admit that I had a wonderful time, and that I thoroughly enjoyed myself, "I had a good time."

"I'm glad." She gave me a full smile.

Once the slip fell into place, I had to reach around to pull my hair out. The simple act of flipping my pony tail was satisfying. There was a sense of pride associated with the feminine movement.

We talked while she helped me put the prom dress on. After I had the dress on she touched up my make-up. Our attitude towards each other was different. There wasn't any tension between us. I wondered if this was how it was supposed to be between siblings.

"If I tell you something, will you promise to never repeat it."

She gave me a slight concerned look, "I promise."

Part of me did not want to hear the words come out of my mouth. Another part of me was anxious to share my feelings with someone. And who better was there to share my feelings with than my sister. I looked around to ensure we were alone, "Sammie kissed me."

Becky looked at me, "You're kidding, when?"

"Just before we opened presents. She was waiting in my bedroom."

"Wow." Becky helped me slip into the prom dress.

"She asked me out on a date. She wants to take me to the movies."

"What did you say?" Becky asked as she zipped me.

"I didn't say anything. Vanessa walked in."

"While you were kissing?"

"No, after, just after Sammie asked me out."

"Were you going to say yes?" She looked concerned.

"No," It was easier to tell her no, I'm not sure what I wanted to say.

"Good. That would really hurt Vanessa,"

Becky handed me the high heels. "Put these on, then wait here and I'll announce you,"

Becky had a lot of spring in her steps as she walked away.

I heard Becky, "Ladies, modeling the latest fashion out of Hilliard Ohio, I give you Bobbie Sue."

When I heard my name I started walking down the hall. I tried to remember everything Becky taught me about modeling. I wanted to do a great job at showing Becky's dress. I also wanted Becky and Aunt Monica to be proud of me. My walk only lasted a minute but the girls loved the show. They clapped and cheered for me. Aunt Monica clapped and called out, "bravo." I could see mom was totally shocked. Her eyes were wide open and she covered her mouth with her hands. I struck one last over the shoulder pose before walking back to the bedroom. Becky ran up to me. She put her arm around my waist and walked with me.

"You did great. When I am a world famous designer I am going to have you model all my new lines."

Her compliment was appreciated, "I might hold you to that. Maybe I should have Aunt Monica write something up for you to sign."

Becky laughed, "I don't think you can afford her."

I laughed, "True."

Becky helped me undress, "Isn't this a blast."

"Yeah, it is."

It didn't take long to change into the red dress. Becky attached the sash around my waist. I then made last second adjustments to the dress. I centered my new necklace. I thought about the earrings. I wondered if Mrs. Kiss was joking when she said she would pierce my ears.

"With this dress you should have pearls."

"What?"

"A string of pearls would go better with the red. I can hardly see the amethyst."

"I guess you're right."

We stood staring at each other. Becky looked different to me. Somehow she had changed.

"Sis"

"Yes?" She asked.

"I just wanted to say thanks."

"For what?"

"I just really enjoyed today and for some reason I feel I owe that to you."

Becky hugged me, "You're ready, give me a second before you come out."

Becky left the room.

While she walked away, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had to smile. I was a pretty. The joy I felt earlier that afternoon started rushing through me. My skin was tingling. I was getting lightheaded.

"Ready," Becky called out.

I didn't think about modeling the red dress, I just did. When I stopped in the living room I struck a pose. Then I did a quarter turn and struck another pose looking at Vanessa. I could see she was delighted with how I looked. When I finished the turn I was facing Sammie. She had an expression that showed more than delight. I remembered her kiss. I wanted to get away from her. The girls didn't give me a chance to leave the living room. They circled around me clapping, laughing and cheering.

I looked for an escape route. I didn't hear Aunt Monica's cell phone ring but I saw her check who was calling. She started walking towards my bedroom while she answered the phone.

Mom walked up to me, "My god, you are so pretty, and the way you modeled your dress. I couldn't believe it was you."

Her words filled me with joy, "Thank You."

Aunt Monica stuck her head out of my bedroom. "Linda," She motioned for mom to join her. Then she disappeared back into the bedroom. Mom hesitated. I don't think she wanted the moment to end.

I could see that she was a little concerned, "Go ahead."

She left me and went to see what Aunt Monica wanted. Becky and I looked at each other. Becky shrugged her shoulder. With Aunt Monica it was hard to guess what was going on, but mom had no need for a lawyer.

Then it hit me, "Do you think we're being sued?" I asked Becky.

"Shit," Becky stated.

There was silence.

Then Amber spoke, "If you were being sued the attorneys would call on Monday not Saturday night. I know my dad would never pay off hour rates for his attorneys, unless it was a serious family matter."

When Amber realized everyone was looking at her she fell silent. I thought what Amber said made sense. So, if we where not being sued who was calling. I then thought of Grandma. But it couldn't be her; she would have called mom and not Aunt Monica. Grandma and Aunt Monica don't speak to each other.

"I'll see what is going on," Becky told me.

Becky went to the bed room door, opened it slowly and then stepped in. She closed the door behind her. A moment later I heard Becky scream. It was one of those girlish screams of excitement. Everybody was looking at each other, curious about what was going on.

Mom, Becky and Aunt Monica walked out of the bedroom together. Becky, Mom and Aunt Monica all looked excited. I thought Amber was right, if we were being sued mom would look worried.

"You will never guess who just called," Aunt Monica stated, then looked at Mom.

"That was the Sunshine Modeling Agency," Mom stated.

I looked at Becky. A modeling agency was calling. I understood why she was excited.

"Do you remember the sales girl in the shoe store?" Aunt Monica asked.

How could I forget, she was strange, "Yeah."

"Not only is she a sales clerk, she is also a talent scout for the Sunshine Modeling Agency."

Amanda looked at Becky, "You're going to be a model!"

"Oh My God," Kathy screeched with a bounce.

I was excited for Becky, "That is fantastic."

Becky held her hand up to stop anyone else from getting excited, "Not me." I could see her friend's confusion. "They wanted the cute girl with an innocent Tom-boyish look," Becky stated looking at me.

All eyes turned to me.

"My little sister is going to be a model," Becky screamed charging towards me.

The other girls reacted to her excitement. The screaming in the trailer was more deafening than any train whistle. What she had just stated stunned me. I didn't want to be a model. I couldn't be a model. Becky should be the model.

Aunt Monica then spoke, loudly, "As your agent I should clarify."

The girls tried to listen but at the same time they had to talk.

"You are not hired yet. You have to audition. However because of the talent scout you are being invited, a walk-in she called it." Aunt Monica now had everyone's attention.

Hearing that was not actually a model was a relief.

"They want you for foot modeling," Aunt Monica stated.

"Foot modeling?" Kathy asked.

"It appears that the agency has several opportunities with some major corporations; they have been searching for foot models. They need a young girl to model jewelry; ankle bracelets and toe rings. They also need a model for washable tattoos."

Mom walked up to me, "This could be a big opportunity for you, but I understand if you don't want to do it."

"Don't want to do it!" "Why wouldn't she want to do it?" The girls were all speaking at once. I was scared and excited about the idea of modeling. Everything was happening to fast. It was like a tornado had just swept through my life. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding. It sounded like everyone was shouting at me. I couldn't think.

"PLEASE," I held my hands up and took a step back. The girls stopped talking and focused their attention on me.

I looked at Aunt Monica, "I am not a model. I mean I have to audition?"

"That is correct. However, based on the information that Sheri was given, she is the owner of the agency; she is excited to me you, and see your feet. It sounds like you are a shoe-in," Aunt Monica smiled.

"Does she know I"

"No," Aunt Monica answered my question before I could finish asking.

I fell silent.

"This is a great opportunity," Mom stated.

"Yeah, models make tons of money," Becky stated.

Vanessa stepped next to me, "It could be fun."

"I already told Sheri that you would be there tomorrow," Aunt Monica stated.

"You should go to the audition; hear what she has to say," Becky stated.

"I think you should," Mom stated.

All the girls started talking again. They all were for me doing the audition. The only one not talking was Amber. I looked at her, "What do you think?"

I could tell that I put her on the spot. I guess she didn't think her opinion was of any value. But, I wanted to know, "Would you do it if you were me?"

She looked at me, "In a heart beat, it would be like a dream come true."

I think everyone was surprised by her response. I never dreamed of modeling. Until recently, I never was a girl in my dreams. I shouldn't say never but rarely. Those dreams were never as vivid as the dreams I was having the last couple of nights.

I made my decision, "I guess it won't hurt to hear what she has to say."

The girls cheered. All but Kathy congratulated me and told me how lucky I was. Amber wished me good luck. Sammie took my hand while she asked me to call her and tell her all about the audition. The way she held my hand and looked at me while she spoke made me uncomfortable. Vanessa put her arm around my waist. "You want to try beating me at tennis?" She asked.

It was hard to play the tennis game wearing high heels. I came close to loosing my balance several times. The girls were laughing and cheering me on. Vanessa showed me no mercy and shut me out. As bad as I played, I still had fun playing. It is hard to imagine that little things like feeling my pony tail across my back and the skirt across my legs would delight me, but they did.

Sammie stated she would play me next. I felt Vanessa was starting to realize that Sammie was interested in me. It was flattering to have a pretty girl like Sammie interested in me, but part of me still distrusted her. "I think I have to sit down, my calf muscles are starting to ache."

Sitting down I noticed Mom and Aunt Monica in the kitchen talking. Their conversation did not appear jovial. I wondered what they were discussing.

"Have you thought about how you are going to handle Mom?" Monica asked.

"I don't know," Mrs. Strikler looked at her son sitting on the sofa joking and laughing with Becky and Amanda. It had been almost fifteen years since their mother had tossed Monica out of the house. In those years their mother has held true to her beliefs. She had not expanded her narrow view of gays one iota.

Monica looked over at Bobbie Sue, "she's lucky."

"How's that?"

"I would have given anything for mom and dad to be a little understanding. It would have meant the world to me if they were a little supportive."

Linda had a small pang of guilt. Part of her understood her mothers view; she wanted Bobby to be a normal boy. She was struggling with being an understanding and supportive parent. At times she felt she was being to understanding and supportive. But Linda swore years ago that she would never be like her mother. No matter what; her children would know they are loved and accepted. "I have to be honest. I have my doubts."

"About what?"

"That I am doing the right thing." She looked at Monica, "What if he is just confused? What if he isn't gay?"

Monica chuckled.

Linda felt embarrassed. She didn't mean anything offensive. She was just stating a simple fact.

"He's not gay," Monica stated.

Linda gave Monica a questioning look.

"If you want something to worry about, you should worry about him getting Vanessa pregnant." Monica filled her wine glass, "You know how hard life is without a high school diploma."

Linda didn't like it when Monica brought up her past, but she could not deny that what Monica said was not true. "Why do you say he is not gay?" Linda had assumed her son was gay. Why else would he wear girl's clothes.

"Because it is obvious, he looks at girls. He gets turned on by girls."

Linda looked her son. What she saw were two teenage girls holding hands. Bobbie Sue's and Vanessa's action confused her. She wondered why he would want to look like a girl if he liked girls. She doubted her decisions. At the same time, she noticed how happy Bobbie Sue appeared. She could not remember the last time she saw Bobby having so much fun.

"You don't have to worry about Vanessa getting pregnant, she's on the pill," Mrs. Kiss stated pulling the tab off of another beer.

The two had forgotten about Mrs. Kiss.

"That is good, but it is best if they abstained," Monica stated.

Linda thought about the sex talk she had with Bobby, she remembered telling him about oral sex. She suddenly became embarrassed. She realized why he was so uncomfortable. "Oh shit," she said her thought out loud.

"What?" Monica asked.

"This is embarrassing." She lowered her voice, "The other day I gave Bobby the sex talk."

The two did not find what she was saying that embarrassing.

"I gave him the same talk I gave Becky."

They still did not comprehend what she found embarrassing.

"I told him about oral sex with boys. I told him how you can never trust what they say about pulling out."

Mrs. Kiss and Monica both broke out in loud laughter. Each had had their own experience that they could relate too and could only imagine Linda telling that to Bobby.

"What's so funny?" I asked walking into the kitchen.

"Nothing," Mom stated, then asked, "Come here."

When I stepped over to her she gave me a hug. She told me, "Happy Birthday."

I hugged her back, "thanks."

After we quit hugging mom held my hands and then looked at me before telling me, "You are so beautiful."

I blushed.

Aunt Monica put her hand on my shoulder, "You are very lucky."

I wasn't sure what she meant, "Thanks."

Then mom asked, "So, if they like you tomorrow and offer you a job, are you going to say yes?"

"I don't know. It's kind of scary; it is also flattering and exciting."

"Honey, if somebody offered me a modeling job when I was your age, I would have been all over it. They would have had to pry me away from the camera," Mrs. Kiss told me.

Aunt Monica told me, "I think this could be a great opportunity for you. It is also a chance for you to earn some money towards college."

"You should do what will make you happy." Mom gave an affectionate squeeze to my hands.

Before the party ended Tommy changed in my room. Aunt Monica volunteered to take everybody home. Mrs. Kiss left with everybody else. Mom asked us to turn the volume down on the Wii before she went to bed. That left Vanessa and I in the living room. When the game ended Vanessa said she was done. She sat on the sofa while I turned the Wii off. As I walked by her to sit down she pulled me on her lap. I was shocked by her action and by how strong she was. Maybe it was easy for her to pull me off balance because of the high heels. My first thought was to move off her lap, but the way she looked at me froze me. She slipped her arm around my waist and pulled me towards her while she leaned in to kiss me. I stiffened. She stopped for a second, and then kissed me. As soon as our lips touched I felt warm and I relaxed. I kissed her back. We kissed for several minutes before she rested her hand on my thigh. I pulled back from her.

"Happy Birthday," she said softly and leaned forward.

I leaned in closer and we continued to kiss. I felt the tip of her tongue touch my lips. I opened my mouth slightly; she quickly started French kissing me. I was overwhelmed by how she made me feel. I felt like I was burning up. I wanted to strip off my clothes. That thought and desire scared me. I considered pushing her away; stopping what we were doing. But I didn't want to stop. She started to lightly caress my thigh. While she caressed my thigh she started to kiss my neck. Then she moved her lips to my earlobes. She gently nibbled on my ear. Besides feeling on fire, I also felt light headed. Her hand slid under my skirt. I pinched my legs together to stop her from going any further.

"Relax," she whispered in my ear before returning to French kissing me.

I really thought we should stop. But, I relaxed my legs. While she kissed me she continued to caress my leg. With each stroke I could feel her hand moving further up my skirt. I spread my legs apart a few inches. She slid her hand all the way under my skirt. I squirmed a little when she started caressing me with her thumb. She worked her hand under my panty and rearranged me so she could hold me in her hand. Having somebody else touch in that way was so much more gratifying. We continued to kiss while she caressed me.

Car lights filled the living room window. We both turned and looked at the window and froze. The car pulled in and stopped next to our trailer. Aunt Monica and Becky were home.

Vanessa pulled her hand away from me, "Go."

I popped up and hurried into the bathroom. I could hear the car doors shut. I could hear them at the front door while I shut the bath room door. When I looked down I could see my skirt was tented. I thought about finishing what Vanessa had started. However, hearing the three of them talking ruined the mood. I looked at myself in the mirror. My lipstick was smudged a little, but overall I looked fine. After I fixed my lipstick I stepped back to admire my reflection. I thought, 'Happy Birthday Bobbie Sue. You are no longer a little girl. You are a teenager'.

  

  

  

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