Mommy Loves You

by MaggieCat

 

How it started

When I was much younger my father left my mother and I alone. He was an abusive man so I don't think she missed him and I didn't really know him so it never really meant anything to me. I missed having a father only when my friends would talk about their parents or when my school had a function that involved both parents. Divorce is not too uncommon so I was never singled out or made to feel different because he was gone. I was always in good company with other kids whose mother or father was never around. My mother never really talked about him except on rare occasion when the subject would come up and she would simply say that he's gone and that's how it is. We had plenty of money from my grandparents so it was not an issue in our house. We were not rich but there was always enough. My only memories of my father involved a lot of yelling and fighting and I would usually just get quiet until they ignored me and I could slip out. It's only about three weeks until my fourteenth birthday.

My mother always pays special attention to family holidays. I guess it's an effort to make up for our being alone. I usually do pretty well on the gift giving holidays so I start getting excited around a moth in advance. This year is no exception and I am already leaving hints about the things that I want. I left the Sears catalogue open to the weight benches in the hopes that my mother would get me one. I have always been small for my age and I get picked on allot at school because of my size. If I had a bench to use I could build up some muscle and start taking care of myself better and maybe the other boys would leave me alone. I prefer to be left alone then to have to always be challenged or find a way to show off. It seems that all the boys at school want to do is flex their muscles and beat up someone and I have never been much into that sort of thing. I would love to say that I get along well with the girls instead but they don't really talk to me either. I only exist as a punching bag for the boys they need an easy target. Anyway, to make a long story short, I am hoping for a weight bench to make things a little more even.

I came home from school a few minutes early. I was able to leave during study hall so I took the opportunity to get out of there and walk home. Its always easier to walk then to ride the bus and if I can get out a couple of minutes ahead of the rest of the kids I don't run the risk of confrontation. This time I said that I had to use the restroom so I could make for the door. The sun was shining brightly but the weather was a little on the chilly side. It's not quite cold yet so the leaves are still on the tress but they are starting to tun color. I love to take a shortcut through the park to see the trees. I guess its not normal for someone my age to be aware of how pretty the changing weather can be. I like to kick though any leaves that have fallen and smell the almost cold air. Most of all I like to be alone for my walk through the park. I got to my house a little after three and was surprised to see my mother's car in the driveway. She is never home before six so it was a little odd but I was happy to see that she was there. Maybe I could hint about the weight bench a little more.

When I got inside the house was quiet. I looked around the living room and kitchen but there was no sign of her. Then I heard some small noises from her room so I made my way down the hall. I would not usually be home for another half an hour so she would be startled to see me. When I crept up to her door I was going to jump in and scare her but instead I was captivated by what I saw.

My mother was sitting at her dressing table with her back to the door. She was brushing her long auburn hair and looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a dressing gown that was almost transparent and I could clearly see the outline of her bra through the sheer fabric. Her gown was an ivory with and old lace around the edges and her bra looked like it came from the same set. I could not see all of her legs but the side of her right thigh were encased in a black stocking that was attached to a lacy garter that matched her bra. I could also see her left heel crossed over her right knee and she was wearing high-heeled ivory shoes. With her hair and her lingerie she was a sight of beauty I don't remember having ever seen her.

I knocked lightly on her door. I discarded the idea of scaring her having seen how lovely she was. She turned a little startled toward the door and saw me through the slight opening. She beckoned me to come in as she wrapped her gown around her to cover up her pretty lingerie. "I didn't mean to scare you," I said as I entered with my head down. I am not usually shy around her but I felt like I was intruding in her room today. "Sweetheart, its all right" she said. "I just didn't expect to see you home this early" Here smile was very sweet and I could smell her perfume as I walked over and sat on her bed. Her room is a wonderful place. I never really noticed before but the light coming through the sheer drapes is soft and pink. Her bed is like a giant pillow of silky sheets and satiny pillows. There is so much lace on her bedspread and the canopy that it feels like the girl's lingerie department at the mall. I wen with mother once to Victoria's Secret and her room is how I remember the store. I never noticed this before.

"I have to go our tonight to a party with my office and I will not be home until late. I didn't know about it until today or I would have told you. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone tonight. I left dinner in the refridgerator and there are some movies I rented in the living room." While mother was saying this I remembered that today was Friday and we usually watch movies together and eat popcorn all night. "I understand and please don't feel bad Mommy. Things like this happen and I will be OK for one night" I said. I realized that while I was saying this I was staring at her. She had turned around enough for me to see the front of her gown. Her bra was pushing out her gown so its open a little. I could clearly see both of her legs in stockings and heels and she mesmerized me. She was wearing panties that were more like lacy shorts than the underwear I had seen the girls at school wear. Everything about her matched perfectly and she looked like a million dollars. "You're really beautiful!" I blurted out. She smiled widely at my remark and then held her arms out to me for a hug. I got up and shuffled over to her and she wrapped my in her arms and held me while she kissed my forehead. "That was very sweet and unexpected," she said softly. I couldn't help but notice that she was holding me against her bra and I was covered in her lace and perfume. I was in heaven in that hug but I knew I had to let go. "I'm going back down stairs to watch TV. You really do look nice tonight and don't worry about our movie Friday. I will be fine" with that said I left her room. It's an unusual and short little conversation but I had to go quickly. I had a small problem growing in my pants that I was ashamed came from seeing my mother like that.

When I got to the living room I could still smell her perfume from when she hugged me. Then I noticed that the Sears catalogue was open to a different page so she must have seen the weight bench and taken the hint. I sat back with the remote and smiled knowing that my plan had worked. I had almost forgotten about the minutes with mother when she came in the living room ready to leave. She was like looking at an angel. Her dress was almost to the floor and dripping with the lacy ruffles. It was also ivory like her lingerie and her hair was perfect. She grabbed her purse and kissed my head again and we said goodbye for the evening. Her kiss was enough to recharge the perfume in the air around me and I found myself thrilled by the delicate and soft scent. I saw her to the door and made my way back to the living room. I looked over to the catalogue ready to reset the page to the weight benches when I was caught by the images looking back at me. The book was open to lingerie and I suddenly found myself starting at several women as lovely or lovelier then my mother. I picked up the book and started flipping through the pages and soon my little penis was hard and getting uncomfortable. Since last year I had discovered masturbating and was now in the stages of perfecting my craft. I never thought to look through the catalogue for inspiration. It seemed that everything was more than enough to get me started so the idea of pictures like these never crossed my mind. Then I found an image of an outfit almost exactly like my mother was wearing. It was called a dressing gown by the image description. It had scalloped antique lace edges and was floor length. I was taken by the picture and soon found myself playing with my penis in a show of appreciation for the artist who created this object of affection. After several cummy messes and a handful of tissues later I was in bed asleep and dreaming of the all of the women I had just discovered. I never heard my mother come home.

Early the next morning I woke up to sum light streaming in through my windows. I have a corner room so there are windows on two sides and in the morning the sun always lands right on me from two directions. I knew my mother was up before me because I always close the drapes before bed and they were open this morning. Then I realized that I had taken the catalogue with me to my room and left it open at the foot of the bed. She must have seen the pages I was looking at when she came in. I was terrified and a little embarrassed by what I knew she must have thought.

Drowsy and a little fuzzy I went to the kitchen and found mother making breakfast. She didn't even look in my direction of acknowledge me. I guess she didn't hear me come in so I made some noise as I sat at the table. "Good morning sleepy head" she said over her shoulder. She was cooking something that smelled yummy. For the first time after my newfound appreciate of her beauty I noticed how she was dressed. She was standing over the stove with the sun behind her. I could see the silhouette of her legs through her nightgown. She hadn't taken the time to get dressed this morning but it didn't matter. She was incredible to see. The soft flowing gown came almost to her ankles and she was wearing mules with fuzzy feathery little puffs over her toes. The whole look was a lesson in pink. Over her gown was an equally sheer robe of the same material. I never paid any attention to it before but she really liked lace and this outfit was clearly no exception to her tastes. She was an again an angel before me. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, my mother is attractive and I am attracted to her.

"I noticed you were shopping while I was out last night." she said with coy little giggle to her words. I was shocked for a second by what she had said. "Did you find anything you like in the catalogue?" She had seen the book open to lingerie I tried to think of an excuse but came short of anything that might get me out of this. "I was just curious about the clothes when you left it open to them before you left last night" I stammered. "You were so pretty last night and I noticed the catalogue and found the same things there" I just wanted to look at them for a few minutes but I guess I fell asleep." I said. I was showing how nervous I was but she didn't change her attitude even a little bit. "Well, after breakfast we can talk more about what you saw and maybe if you have any questions I can help you understand" she said. The rest of the meal was uneventful. She served pancakes and we both ate in silence. I couldn't help but steel glances at her in here gown. On a few occasions I could clearly see the bumps of here nipples through the bodice but only for a second or two before I had to look away. I was feeling very guilty for feeling this but I couldn't help it.

Breakfast ended before I knew it. I let go of what she said about questions and cleared the table. I went to the living room and turned on the TV. Mother called me from her room a few minutes later. I got up and went up to her room to see what she wanted. She was sitting on the edge of her bed still in her gown only she had the catalogue with her. She called me over to her and patted the bed. I climbed up onto the bed and sat next to her where I could smell that perfume again. She must have just put some on because it was strong but very nice and reminded me of last night and the wonderful dreams. "Sweetheart? Last night you were thumbing through the ladies lingerie section of the catalogue weren't you?" Her eyes burned into me with a passionate but severe insistence for an answer. I was not about to admit that I spent the better part of the night playing with my penis and looking at the ladies in the book so I tried desperately to think of something else to claim. Then hit came to me like a warm fever. "I was curious about the clothes and after seeing you all dressed up last night I wanted to learn more" it was the best I could come up with on short notice. She sat silent for long enough to make me tense then she spoke softly. "You are growing into a young man and the feelings that you are having are normal. Its OK to say that you were attracted to these women" as she flipped the pages from Basques to bras to panties. I was torn between looking at the pages and looking at her. While she was preoccupied with the book she neglected to cover herself up very well and her robe fell open to reveal her breasts barely hidden behind her sheer nightgown. Her nipples consumed me as they pressed the front of her gown.

"Tell me what about the clothes you wanted to know about my darling child" she said to me. I could feel her compassion in the softly spoken words. "IS there anything special about them or were you just trying to see them in more detail". This was getting harder to follow. Between the pictures and my mother's open robe I found myself torn and unable to listen very well. I wanted to reach over and feel her breasts. My penis was incredibly hard and I was sure she would see it. Just as I was thinking about how difficult it was to hide my hard penis mother reached over and put her hand right on it. She gave it a little squeeze and then looked into my eyes. "I thought so!" she almost shouted in excitement. Still holding my penis through my pajamas she continued. "You were looking at these pictures because it excites you!" She was being quite playful with the way she was saying this but her words were like knives digging into me. "My little angel its OK to be attracted to women and to like to see them like this." She finally let go of me. "Little boys are supposed to be interested in seeing and touching women. I was hoping the day would come that you might come to me and ask me about these things but you never did. I was afraid you would learn all the wrong things from the back of the bus or the playground" Not being smart enough to just admit to these accusations I spoke. "Mom, its not like that at all, you don't understand" I had no idea what I just started by saying this but I was about to find out. "Well, then you must want know more about women and your penis is hard because the idea of wearing lingerie excites you" This is completely embarrassing. Mother was being giggly and playful but this was getting cruel. "Since your father left us I thought you might never learn about being a man, I guess you have learned enough." Mother stood from the bed and walked over to her door. "Come here for a minute and take a look at this" She asked as I got up to walk to her. She closed the door and showed me the full-length mirror on the back of the door. I couldn't look for long because I knew that I would find myself staring at her breasts again so I looked up quickly. She took hold of my hair on either side of my head and made two pigtails with the excess I had grown. "You and I should spend the day inside today and we should talk more about this. I think you are growing up but you must be confused about some things and I don't understand why you are afraid to tell me about it" I was really uncomfortable by what she was talking about so I just went along with it. Then the phone rang and I was saved by the bell.

"Hello, Yes, sure I can, how soon, OK, I'll be right there" her conversation was short. "Honey, I have to go to work for a few hours and we can talk when I get back.." She ushered me out of her room and I went back to the living room to wait for her to come down. "I'll be back in a few hours, think about this morning and we can talk more later" She almost ran out of the house. It must have been important for her to leave so quickly. I was left with a sinking feeling in my stomach about the strange morning and the awkward afternoon when she comes home. I decided to look around the house and waste some time by picking up a little. I started up the stairs and I again smelled the perfume she had worn the night before. She must have used it again before work. It's funny that I never paid any attention to it before but it was something that was always around me and I managed to overlook it. Now I was overwhelmed by how pretty and sweet it was. Like a trance took control of me I wondered into her room. It was an amazing place. The canopy bed with all the silky lace, the antique furniture with satin pillows, the large closet. Everything was so feminine and foreign to me. I was compelled to spend a few minutes here just smelling her perfume and touching all of the soft things. Against the far wall was a tall dresser with several drawers. It was not like any of the furniture I have. Mine is short and wide with all the drawers side by side. I reached carefully over to the dresser and delicately opened the middle drawer trying to be quiet as though someone might hear me. I knew that I was alone but I was timid and shy about getting caught and I was invading my mother's room. Inside the drawer were panties of all colors and styles. My mother had a large collection of beautiful lingerie and I was just at the beginning of the treasures I would find here. I tentatively took a pair of white lacy panties and felt them against my fingers. They were similar to the ones she was wearing last night. I could scarcely believe how much lace and silk there was. I ran them through my fingers and over the back of my hand and the softness and delicate lace felt truly fantastic. Before I knew what I was doing I had stripped off my pajamas and was pulling them tenderly up my legs.

Here I was standing in my mother's room wearing a pair of her lacy panties with a hard penis and no interest in stopping what I had just started. I opened another drawer and took out the bra that matched the panties. It was a difficult thing to get it hooked in back but I was flexible and thin and after a couple of tries I managed to adjust the bra over my chest. It was tight and the little bit of skin that I had filled into the cups. They were still loose but the bra fit well in every other way and I was pleased with the way it felt. I stepped back from the lingerie chest and walked over to the door. In the full-length mirror I held my hair the way my mother had a short time ago and made two pigtails. In her bra and panties and with the pigtails I looked like a girl. I am small and thin which has always been a detriment to my ability to get along with others but now it only helped the image before me. I looked liked a young girl. I went back over to the chest and opened and explored the rest of the drawers. I was rewarded with a huge collection of incredible lingerie. In the final drawer I found something odd and didn't understand it at first. There was a pink box that had two jelly like things in it. I read the side of the box to see if it explained at all what these were. Apparently they were breast enhancers that made a woman's breasts look larger by filling them out two cup sizes. I didn't really understand the math behind the cups sizes but I had to try them. Each one had a small nipple on it and was tear drop shaped. I put them into my bra and the feeling was overwhelming. They filled in the cups of the bra so that it was no longer loose. I had breasts! I went back over to the mirror to see the result. I stood there with my mouth hanging open because in the reflection was a girl with medium size breasts and sexy lingerie. I wanted to touch her as though she were not me. I know that may sound unusual but anyone that has ever dressed up in their mother's lingerie will know the feeling.

 

"What is this?!" Oh my god! I thought as I heard her. She had stepped into the room while I was turning back to the lingerie chest. I was caught in the most embarrassing and compromising position of my life. Here I was dressed in her bra and panties with breasts and everything and after the morning conversation. I really had no intention of any of this ever happening. I was kind of led to this by her and now I was in front of my mother looking like a girl and wishing I could just curl into a ball and die. I don't know when I cried the last time but right now the tears came all by themselves. I was falling apart and turning red. Mother's eyes ran up and down me while she took in what she had walked in on. I had been in her room for a little over an hour and she was already back and walked in to catch me. "I only had to sign some papers and then come home. I never expected to find you like this. We need to talk" She went over to the bed and sat down. Like this morning she patted the bed for me to sit. I completely forgot about how hard my penis was and it shrank back into me. I stepped over to her and started to sit down. "Wait." She said. She got up and went to her closet and came back with a long silky lacy robe and put it on me. The sensation took over and though I was really frightened my penis grew hard all over again. Thank goodness for the long robe so I had something to hide behind. I was now sitting on her bed in a bra and panties with breasts and little hard nipples and a white silk and lace robe that did little to hide those damn nipples. Its long sleeves made little whispers as I moved my arms so I tried to sit completely still. I pulled my feet under me and tried to conceal as much of myself as I could. But I was all too aware of how I was dressed. Mother pulled me to her and held me while she waited for me to calm down a little. "I don't really understand everything that has happened over the last two days but there is clearly something we need to talk about" her words slipped from her. That was when I started to notice that my mother never just spoke, she almost sang her words so softly and with such feeling. I looked at her and my words fell out of my mouth. "Mommy, I never tried anything like this before. I looked at the catalogue yesterday because you left it open to the ladies in lingerie. I looked at them and touched myself" I couldn't believe I was saying this but I went on, "I made a cummy little mess from looking at them and I didn't want you to know. I guess I fell asleep and left the book open and you saw it. I wanted to hide what I had done so I lied about being interested in learning about the clothes. Last night you were so beautiful and those pictures were so pretty. I couldn't help it. I know it was wrong but.." She held me a little tighter and gently spoke "Its OK my darling but why this. Little boys touch themselves and that's natural but why are you wearing my lingerie?" I was at a loss for ideas to get of this one so I decided to just be honest. "I never intended to try this but after you left this morning and after you and I talked I started to look around and I found myself in here and with all of these pretty things and I had to try it. I guess I just wanted to know how it felt. Then I found the jelly things in your bottom drawer and..." Her arms were all the around me and she was pulling me to her.

"I was hoping this day would come" Did she just say that? "I saw the weight benches you left for me to see but I know you very well and you would not be happy or ever be able to get the results you wanted from lifting weights. I guess I left the catalogue open to lingerie to get your attention and see what came from it" I was dumfounded. My own mother thinks I'm a little sissy and she was just testing me to see how much. It's not bad enough that all of the boys at school pick on me now my mother is doing too! "I wasn't trying to be sneaky or to manipulate you in any way sweetheart" she continued "I just wanted to see if you were growing up and well... I guess now I know. Please know this is as embarrassing for me as it is for you" I had almost forgotten how I was dressed as I sat there in her arms listening to her explain this to me. But I still was wearing her bra and panties and robe and my breasts were still showing through the thin silky material. I felt great and relaxed and like this was meant to be, but strange and dirty at the same time.

"How does it feel for you right now?" she asked me sweetly. "Is this more than one time curiosity? If you want to try this its OK with me if you come in here and use my things. I guess I should blame myself for starting this but since its already underway then we should try to make this as comfortable for both of us." While she was talking she let go of me and sat a little forward to take off her heels. She started to rub her feet so I reached for them and she leaned back against the canopy post and put them in front of me. I had rubbed her feet before but this was not like anything I had ever done. I took her toes into my hands and started to kneed them a little. She let out a small moan. "My darling, I would like to change out of these work clothes and maybe you would continue that in a few minutes? Between the party last night and going to work this morning I'm afraid my feet are really hurting me and that feels so nice." She stood and I agreed to do it more later. I don't think she thought about how I might be feeling about getting up in front of her like I was dressed but she just ushered me out of her room. I planned on heading to my room to get changed when she called to me. "You might get cold feet if you run around barefoot." I turned back to her door and saw that she was handing me some fuzzy white slippers through the door. "Mommy, you want me to stay dressed like this?" the words were almost inaudible as they escaped my lips. "You look happy right now and I see no reason to upset that. Besides the idea of sitting around the rest of the day in something more comfortable like a robe or gown sounds nice." Then she got a slight look of surprise and told me to wait for a second. She came back to the door with a gown in her hands that looked like it came with the robe I was already wearing. I hesitantly took it from her and wen to my room to put it on. As I entered my room mother came in with some more things in her hands. "I almost forgot the most wonderful part of wearing lingerie" she smiled and said. "Take off you robe and put this on first." She handed me a garter belt and some stockings. "If you need any help let me know and I will be happy to come back and help. Remember to put the garters under your panties before you attach them to the stockings..." she called as she walked away again. This was really an unusual morning. I was not sure what to do but I decided that to fight it meant that I may never get a chance like this again so I went for it. I took off my robe and put the garter belt on. I slipped it in front then turned it to the back. Because of the catalogue I knew what it should look like and after a couple of minutes I understood how to fasten the stockings. They were really silky and felt great against my skin. I guess I was lucky that I wasn't growing much hair yet and I looked more like a woman now than I did before I got caught. I slipped into the slippers and put on the gown.

As the gown fell over my head and slipped down around my ankles the feeling was indescribable. It was a symphony of feelings both soft and sexy and my little penis was about to explode. The panties were stretched in front but I just ignored them and hoped that I would settle down. The last thing was the robe that I had gotten used to. But this was much different. With my body surrounded by lace and silk the robe was another layer and it was like nothing I have ever felt. I was swimming in sensual softness. I brushed out my long hair like I had seen mother do last night and then I started to head down stairs. Mother came up behind me and took my hand. She led me into her room and sprayed me with her perfume. I now smelled like she did, like wild flowers. She was wearing the gown and robe from last night and she had her hair brushed out too. We looked almost alike. It was weird and wonderful at the same time. She kept holding my hand and we went down stairs.

Confession

When we sat on the sofa she laid back against the pillows and beckoned me to site in front of her and lean into her. I was resting between her legs with my head against her breasts. She was gently toying with my hair while I started to rub her feet again. I removed her mules and played with her toes paying attention to the arches of her little feet. Mommy's hands left my hair and started to slide down my sides. With both of us wearing silky robes and gowns were very slippery and her hands moved with little resistance. She brought her arms together under my breasts and held me to her. Her breasts were almost on my shoulders and I could feel them through here gown. She was still wearing her bra so I asked her why. "Women like to feel sexy and sometimes when we wear such beautiful and sensuous lingerie we feel better. I had this on already and since you were wearing something like this already I thought it might help you to feel better. I know it must be really odd for you like this but I wanted you to understand that I love you very much and this is our home and what we do here is our business." I nuzzled a little closer to her and started to rub her calves. Her stockings were very soft and I wondered if my legs would feel this good to someone touching them since I was also wearing something so smooth. Then mother did something really nice and very difficult to handle. She reached into the top of my gown and took the jellies from my bra. She pulled my skin into the cups a little more but took away the false breasts. "Doesn't that feel much better" she cooed. I had to agree. Though the idea of bouncy breasts was a nice it also felt nice to have only the clothes and me and nothing in between. Mommy massaged my breasts over the front of my gown and robe to help them feel better in the bra and at the same time my own nipples grew hard. She brought her fingers lightly over my hard little nipples for only a quick pass but the feeling was electric. "That is why women like it when you touch them there" she said. "Nice soft lingerie enhances how a woman feels when someone touches them gently." I was still rubbing her calves and feet and just sliding gently against her. It was a slice of heaven.

"My beautiful little child, there is something that I think you are old enough to know" Mother's voice sounded worried and restrained. This was a strange day and here I was in a bra and panties, a garter and stockings, a gown and robe, and fuzzy slippers leaning against my mother who was dressed the same. Yesterday at this time I was a boy going to school and today I don't know what I am. I listened to her carefully. I could feel her fear as she started to say something to me. She held me tightly and almost whispered into my ear. "Years ago when your father left us you never really knew him very well. Well there is something about him that you never knew." I was leaning harder into her. "Your father never left us. In fact it was your mother that left us." Did I understand Mommy? "What do you mean Mother? You are still here." I said. "When you were very little your mother and I would fight a great deal about how we felt about each other and how we felt about you. I made a decision to be what I am today and your mother didn't except that about me. I am you father." Her words, his words, fell like rocks into the air. I stiffened in disbelief. "But you are my Mommy!" I said to her. "You have always been my mother and now you are just playing with me and this is not nice. You dress me up like this and fool me into this day and now you are just being cruel and mean by saying these things." I wanted to scream but I was never one to yell or show disrespect even though I had no idea what to believe. Mother went on to say "I have always been a mother to you but I was your father once and your real mother left. I chose to live as a woman and your mother couldn't except that. She grew distant and ultimately one day she just never came home." I couldn't listen to this but I was being held tight so I tried to block her, his, words. I was a freak being raised by a freak. Was this a game. "Mommy stop laying like this!" I demanded. "This isn't funny and I don't think its something you should joke about. You did this to me today just to be mean!" Mommy leaned in to kiss my cheek and wipe a tear from my eyes. This was something about her I always liked. She could be so gentle. What was I thinking. This had to be a cruel joke. "Sweetheart?" she begged, "What I have told you is true about me and I don't want us to hate each other. I thought you might be like me so I left hints a clues around here for a while now to see if I was right" She started to cry a little. "I don't know now if what I did was right. I had to be who I am and your mother left us and I'm afraid I turned you into this when I only had the beast intentions. I guess I need help and you might be better off without me" My mother sounded like she was giving up. Maybe this wasn't a joke. Maybe she was telling the truth and I was really here with my father and he was starting to make me like him. Maybe this would be a good time to run away screaming. But maybe I didn't care whom it was that holding me. The arms around me belonged to my mother and that's the way it was and should be. Somewhere inside of me the shock turned to compassion and the fear turned to love. I turned to face her and I looked into her eyes to see if I could see a father inside my mother. It was only her. She was as beautiful now as she had ever been and I could only see her. "What you said to me doesn't matter" I said. I found myself wiping away her tears. "If what you said is true then so what?!" I said strongly. "You are my mother and I don't understand all of this but I love you and you have always been there for me and I guess I can learn to live with anything" She started to calm a bit and I felt her hold me even tighter. "If my mother left us then to hell with her!" I said, though is sounded strange. "But if you are really my father then how is it that you are so pretty and so much like a woman.?" I asked. She seemed a little more relaxed with her secret out and she started to tell me everything.

"We have not always had very much but we get by. I tried to always be there for you but I also did some things for myself. There were times when I gave this up but I always came back to it. Its what I am and I had to face that. I also had to decide if I should give you up. I couldn't find your mother. I don't know where she went and her friends were of now help. I saved a little here and there to have some cosmetic things done but for the most part I was always small like you and it was easy to slip into this role without much trouble." Her voice was soft but much less shaky. I could tell she was getting more comfortable by telling me all of this. We talked for several hours until late afternoon. After some time we eventually ended sitting side by side with our feet on the sofa talking when I noticed mother kept covering her lap. "Mommy?" I asked, not sure if I should changed how I addressed her. "Are you gay?, I mean do you sleep with men?" She looked at me almost like I was too young to ask such a thing but I could also see that we were well beyond normal rules and protocol at this point. With all of her confessions and the fact that I was dressed in lingerie with her things started to be a lot clearer. She wanted to make me like this so she could tell me about everything and maybe if I was like her I would not hate her or react badly. I was scared but I needed to know more. For now she is my mother and that is how I have to see it. "I never attempted to be with a man at any time, though there have been some offers. I was afraid of what might happen if I got caught or beat up. They might take you away or you might find all of this out without my having any control over how you learned about me" She was almost distant with this answer. "Do you want to be with men though? Mommy, I don't understand all of this yet but I love you and I want you to be happy and to me you are always going to be my mother." My words dropped off at the end of my sentence but there was no doubt she heard me. She pulled me to her and rocked my gently telling me this was the hardest thing she ever did. "I hope that since you know nothing will change between us." She said. "You don't have to feel like what you are doing today is normal or what I want. And if you never talk of this again I will understand." Mother was trying to find a way to let go of this day. I think she seriously regretted saying anything to me. I wanted dearly for her to be OK with me even though I should have been angry or terrified I felt closer to her than ever before.

To make her feel a lithe better I decided to confide in her all about how this was making me feel. I told her about looking at the pictures and seeing her get dressed. I talked about seeing her breasts in her gown and how that made me feel inside. I confessed that I was very aroused by her perfume and all of her sexy clothes and that most importantly right now I felt really comfortable with her dressed like I was. I didn't pay attention to how I was sitting though and my gown was sticking up a little in front from my very hard little penis. "Sweetheart its not unusual or weird to get excited by wearing things like this" Mommy said to me. We were still holding each other. "That's how it was for me when it first started. I would sneak into my mother's room and dress up in her things too. I would often get very excited by wearing pretty panties and bras and slips. I would usually end up making a mess into a tissue and trying to put everything back the way I had found it." I could feel mother's hands tracing the outline of my bra through my gown. It was not sexual but more comforting I guess. "There are lots of people like me and they are all different too." She told me. "Some people like to dress up only once in a while for the thrill of the clothes against their skin. Some like to changed completely into women with the help of doctors." I was now very interested in what Mommy was saying. Maybe I could understand her better so I asked "And how do you feel about being a woman. I mean, how far along are you, are you all the way there, or did you stop?" I wanted to know. "Well darling, I never attempted to have everything changed because I had no way to pay for it and no way to hide what I was doing. When you were little we moved here so I could live full time as a woman without anyone knowing about me. But I still have some things left from being a man." Turning to me she said softly "I still have what seems to be bothering you right now." Having said that she gestured to my penis pointing out in my gown and robe. I was embarrassed. The panties were getting a little tight and with the constant silky sliding of the gown and my stockings I was about to explode most of the time. I felt awkward though with everything that has been said. "Mommy, it's a little embarrassing that I feel this way." I said to her. I was looking for some understanding or something. I should feel weird I thought - this is weird - but it's nice too. Even if my Mother is my Father, she is still my Mother to me and I still feel closer to her than ever before. "Sweetheart, its OK to feel like that" She moved a little and left her gown fall between her thighs a bit, "Mommy is getting that way too and its nothing to ashamed of. It's a natural thing for you to feel that way while you are dressed so lovely" That was really the first time I looked at Mommy's lap and noticed anything different about her. She had a point in her gown like mine. It must be true. I had accepted it as true but seeing something like this makes it very real. In a smooth gesture Mommy leaned in a little and put her fingers on my tummy. Her hand felt warm against the cool silk and lace. She was making little circles around my tummy and just barely brushing the underside of my bra. I could feel her finger tips touch the lace top of the panties as she slid my gown around with her motions. It was a tender moment and there was nothing really very sexual about it. It was something that she used to do when I felt sick or was hurt. Its like when you pet someone's head because they don't feel well. Mommy was also kissing my neck gently and whispering to me that she was happy we could have this talk and that she feels a lot better knowing that I know everything. I told her I would and could get used to anything about her and that I love her very much.

"You must be dying with you penis so hard?" Mommy said to me. I didn't think it was an odd question and in truth I was very uncomfortable right now. "But I feel close to you and very pretty and its having this effect on me. If I were alone.." I realized that I almost said I would touch myself. "Its OK Sweetheart." She said to me. "If it will make you more comfortable then you can go and take care of yourself. Mommy understands these things. Remember that Mommy does it too." Again my eyes were drawn to her lap and she was probably in as much agony as I was. My Mommy had a hard penis too. It sounded weird to think that way but its still Mommy and I guess I can live with that. "Mommy do you touch yourself when you feel this way too?" I asked. "Yes Darling, I have to do that sometimes when its gets like this. Its very difficult to do much of anything when my penis is hard in my pretty panties. You will find that as you get older its will get very difficult to concentrate or focus on anything if you are hard in your panties." Her last statement made it sound like I would be wearing panties forever. Oh well, I guess, at this point anything is possible. "When I touch myself it can be a lot of fun but I usually make a big cummy mess when I'm done. And there are times when I have to do it several times to make it stay soft for a while" Mommy was telling me everything. I wanted to know more. I guess I was always curious about how I would grow up and without my father around to help me I had to learn most of this on my own. "I would like to know how you do it." I said. "I know how I do it when I'm alone but I don't have anyone to share it with. I'm not very popular at school and the girls don't talk to me. I figured it out by myself and from the Internet alone." I told her. "You shouldn't' go to the web for things like that my Love. You will get all kinds of bad information from the web about how you should or should not behave." Would you be too embarrassed if I talked to you about this" Mother said. "No, never. I was hoping you would" I replied. "There is something that I would really like though" I said. "What is it my Darling?" "Would you make me more pretty for this evening? I am enjoying this and I want to experience more of it" I told her. With that mother got up from the sofa and went to her room. She called for me to follow her. When I got there she had me sit at her dressing table. She started to apply some foundation to my face and then she powdered me with something light and fluffy. She explained a little as she went along but mostly I just looked into the mirror and watched. A little eye shadow and mascara some blush for my cheeks, and some lipstick and I was transformed from the girl I was an hour ago into a young woman. Mother then sat down and did her own makeup while I watched. This time she talked all about what she was doing. I sat next to her and listened like there was no tomorrow. I found that I wanted to know everything. A lot of teaching and a little more perfume and we were both absolutely gorgeous to look at. "Mommy? I know this all new but I really want to know everything about you. Can I ask you something personal, very personal?" I looked for a reaction. She stood and went to her bed, "Anything, I may not answer but you may ask" she said as she sat down. "If you could make love with a man how would you do it, I mean, with what you have, and what the man has, how does that work." I really didn't know and I wanted to know. She sat in silence for a minute then got up and went to her closet. When she came back she had a box with her. It was locked but she had the key in her night stand and she opened it easily. She took out a tape for the VCR and went across the room to load the cassette. She picked up the remote and turned off the lights. After she lit a couple of candles she motioned for me to join her on the bed. I snuggled up to her and she started the movie.

A woman, very pretty walked sat in a chair while some men were outside on the patio looking at her. She was touching her breasts while they looked on. Mommy whispered to me that I would understand after I watched this but remember that love is not like this. That this is for learning and entertainment only. One of the men on the patio took his penis out of his pants and began to stroke it. I had never seen a penis other than my own and this one was really big. I felt my own penis grow harder in my panties. The pretty blonde woman started to rub her nipples through her blouse and they grew hard. "Mommy does that feel good to have your nipples rubbed like that" I asked. Mommy reached her arm around me and started to rub my nipple through my gown and bra. It was really nice. I put my hand on Mommy's breasts and did the same to her. The woman on the tape took her blouse off and sat there in only her bra. Its was violet and very lacy and pretty. Her nipples were easy to see through the material. The man outside with his penis out started to stroke harder and the other man took his penis out too. It was bigger than the first man. The men were stroking their penises while the woman stood and removed her skirt. She was also wearing violet panties and a garter belt with stocking like Mommy and I were. Then I looked at the woman's panties. They were very full up front not like the catalogue. She had a penis but she was very pretty and did not look at all like a man. With Mommy holding me I was laying against her breast while I rub her nipples. Mommy sat up and removed her robe and took mine away too. Now we were both in our gowns with our bras and panties and stockings underneath. I laid back down like I was before and started to rub her nipples again. This time my face was so close to her other nipple that I kissed it. I noticed Mommy was rubbing her penis through her robe so I started to do the same to mine. The men came into the house from the porch and walked over to the pretty blonde woman in the violet lingerie. They had their penises right in her face. She opened her mouth and they slid their penises against her lips. My little penis was so hard and my rubbing was not helping. Instinctively I slid my leg over Mother's thigh. Our gowns and stockings slipping together until my panties were against her thigh. I started rubbing against her thigh while I watched the woman in the movie. The violet lingerie looked really nice on her. I stopped rubbing Mommy's nipple and started feeling the weight of her breasts. Holding it in my hand and moving it around in her bra and gown. Mommy was doing the same to me. Mommy reached over and put her hand on the front of my gown over my panties. She took hold of my penis and started to stroke me very gently. Watching the woman take a penis into her mouth and feeling my own penis with Mother's hand and all the lace and silk was driving me crazy. I reached my hand from Mommy's breasts to her tummy. I was making the little circles on her like she had done to me earlier. I slipped a little lower until I was just barely touching her penis. It was hard and big. I felt so small next to her. I ran my fingers over it through the silky gown and her delicious panties. I ran my hand around it until I was holding it completely in my hand. It was really big. I could not longer deny that my mother was also my Daddy. But smelling so nice and being dressed so beautifully it was my Mommy no matter what she may have in her panties. The woman on the screen reached dwon and took her panties to the side so her penis flopped out. It was large and hanging between her legs. One of the men knelt before her and took it into his mouth. He started to lick it and then he just opened his whole mouth and let it slide in.

I lifted the lace hem of Mommy's gown and for the first time saw the penis she had been so careful to hide for so long. It was about eight inches long and wider than my hand could fully reach. It was nestled in her silky panties but clearly visible. The sheer fabric did little to hide it at this point. I moved a little lower and kissed it through her panties. Her penis jumped a little and Mommy moaned deeply. A sweet feminine sigh escaped her lips. I knew it had been a long tie since anyone touched her. I wanted desperately to make her happy. The woman on the screen closed her eyes and let the man suck on her penis while she continued to suck the penis in front of her. I pulled Mother's penis from her panties and kissed the tip. It was wet and a little slippery. I licked a little under it and wrapped my hand around it as far as I could reach. Mommy stared to rub my penis through my panties even harder. I reached down and lifted my gown for her. Mommy put her fingers into my panties and took hold of my penis. The woman on the movie stood up and removed her panties. The man who was sucking her sat in the chair. I took Mommy's penis into my mouth and started to suck it moving back and forth along the length. She was really big in my mouth. I felt her balls through her panties and ran my fingers along her stockings and garters. The woman on the movie turned her back to the man in the chair and sat slowly onto his penis letting it slide into her bottom. Mommy stopped me from sucking her and laid me onto my back. I watched as the woman on the screen bounced up and down on the man's penis. Her breasts were flopping around in her bra and her penis was hanging heavily in front of her. Mommy slid down my tummy and took my penis out of my panties. In one movement Mommy had me in her mouth. It was the most amazing thing I ever felt. Her red lips were sliding up and down on my penis. The woman in the violet bra and stockings was moving up and down on the man's penis. The other man had his penis in her mouth. I was feeling Mommy's breasts hanging in her bra and gown while here lips slid back and forth on my penis.

"Mommy! Uhn uuuhn! I want to feel what the woman on TV is feeling." Mother rolled me onto my back and lifted my gown over my bottom. She pulled my panties over my thighs and down my stocking covered legs. I felt something cool and wet on my bottom. Then I felt Mommy's penis against me. She was over me with her legs on either side. I was face down on the bed facing the video while Mommy was over me with her penis in the crack of my bottom. It felt so big and hard against me. Then in a slow and painful motion Mommy slipped the head of her penis into my bottom. It went in with a pop. I felt very full and Mommy had only just started. The scene in the movie switched to a woman in a wedding dress and what looked like her bridesmaids helping her dress. Mommy slid a little deeper taking some time to let me get used to the feeling. Then I felt Mommy's hands on my sides and her breasts against my back as she lay down on top of me. Mommy was holding my breasts, kissing the back of my neck, her gown covered breasts sliding against me, and her penis in me until Mommy's balls were rubbing my bottom. The bride on the video was laying down with her skirt and crinolines up around her waist. Her bridesmaid was kneeling between her legs rubbing the bride's penis through her white satin panties. The bridesmaid had her skirts up around her waist and the other bridesmaid was on the floor sucking the kneeling maid's penis. The bridesmaid on the floor had her own skirt up enough to show her hard penis in her panties. Mommy's penis was sliding into me harder and harder with every push. My own penis was wrapped in my gown and sliding against the bed.

Mommy lifted me to my knees and pushed into me deeper until her balls were slapping my bottom. I could feel her silky thighs against my own. Mommy reached around me and started to stroke my penis with my gown. The bride was now taking the penis of the bridesmaid into her bottom while she sucked the other maid. Mommy made a sudden loud moan and pushed all the way into me. I felt something hot and wet erupt into me as my own penis finally exploded all over the bed. Mommy pulled me over sideways until we were laying with her behind me. Mother's penis was still in me and was starting to slip out a little but she pushed it in until it stayed that way. I felt beautiful and I finally understood while Daddy is my Mommy. A little later Mommy got up and cleaned me off. She gave a me a babydoll nighty with matching silky panties to wear and we fell asleep in each others arms. I sucked on Mommy's breasts all night.

A couple of weeks later I got a package from Sears for my birthday. When I opened it I was really happy to see it was my very own lingerie like Mommy's. Soon we are going to paint my room and get a canopy bed. I only wear pretty lingerie now and I no longer care that I'm small for my age.

 

 

 

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