The Misadventures of Kim

by Angel O'Hare

©December 01, 2005

 

Chapter One - Introducing Kim

My name is Kim just like my Grandpa. His name is Kim too, his last name is Partridge and mine is Taylor. His daughter is my mommy. My daddy's name was William. He died because he worked for the government. I wasn't even born yet when that happened. I was still growing in my mommy's belly. I don't have any relatives on my daddy's side because he was orphaned at seventeen. That's how he got to join the service and then met my mommy.

My daddy and mommy met at a club for servicemen. She was a teen volunteer there. Well, my mommy, Judy and her sisters, Tammy, Karen, and Joan, were always either volunteering or being volunteered to do stuff. My daddy was twenty-one and my mommy was seventeen. Six month's later they were married. My daddy was a small man and my mommy is a small lady. He was in the Navy and was a specialist for a SEAL team. Mommy got a visit by some Navy officers one day and she moved in with her sister Joan shortly after that. My daddy was killed in action somewhere secret.

I arrived six months after my daddy died, that's two months earlier than I was supposed to arrive. I spent a lot of my first year of life in a hospital. But, I'm a real fighter and I am here now to tell you of my misadventures. There are more than a few, so this story could go on a while.

Chapter Two - The Beginning of My Misadventures

I was just over one-year old when I came home for good from the hospital. Joan Collins, my mommy's oldest sister let us live with her. Auntie Joan had two twin girls, Lillie and Lucy. They were three years old at the time I arrived. Her husband John and Auntie Joan had separated because John couldn't leave other ladies alone. That's what Auntie Joan told me and my mommy said so too. Everything was going pretty good until John decided to disappear one day and no more alimony or child support checks were coming. Auntie and my mommy used my daddy' life insurance money to buy a business. They bought a stupid clothing shop for girls!

This clothing shop had everything and not just clothing either. How can you call a place that sells all different kinds of stuff for girls a clothing shop? Anyway, that's where I grew up, mostly inside that clothing shop. That was the beginning of many of my misadventures. While I was still a baby, my hair was kept long and I was always dressed in baby girl's clothes. When I was three years old, they even had my ears pierced! The shop opened earlier than the other stores and stayed open later as well. Mommy says that this was a big bonus for them because they got a lot of customers that way. Anyway, when I turned five, I started Kindergarten and was dressed as a boy for the first time. My twin cousins were seven and in second grade. This is when the problems began for me.

Auntie Joan and my mommy talked the Sister and Priest in charge of the school to let me keep my earrings and hair. They really did have to fight for this, but won out after offering to carry the schools girl's uniforms and offer them for less cost than the other place the school always got them from. They also donated school supplies. That did it, and the dress code for Saint Joseph Elementary School was changed to allow boys to have earrings and long hair. The boys had to keep their long hair in a ponytail and the earrings the boys could wear had to be studs. Hair ties for the boys were limited to the light blue of our uniforms or white. Sister Alice is a heavy disciplinarian and became very inventive with the boys if they stepped out of line or forgot their hair tie! If they wore earrings other than studs, well, you would not want to be caught wearing anything other than studs, nor forgetting your hair tie! My twin cousins were always playing tricks on me and would team up and get me in all sorts of weird situations. We were good friends though and we had a lot of fun pulling pranks and stuff like that on other kids, a few adults and teachers. I was walking to school with my cousins when one of them told me my hair tie was loose. The next thing I knew, my hair tie snapped and broke apart. They tried to tie it together and that didn't work, so they tried winding it in my hair and that seemed to work, so I was safe, or so I thought. It was during lunch recess when it fell out and Sister Alice caught me with my hair flying free as I was playing. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a shiny blue satin ribbon and tied my hair up with that. Not only did she comb my hair into a higher ponytail, but she also tied a bow with the ribbon. I could have died right there! The kids started teasing me right away, but I have a hard skin and just laughed along with them and this seemed to work. You know the things they said, most kids get teased if they look or act like sissies or girls do. Anyway, I agreed with those that said I looked like a little girl because with that ribbon bow tied in a girl's style ponytail, anybody would by the kid's standards anyway. So I just laughed and told them my hair tie broke and there wasn't anything I could do about it. One of the kids had an extra blue hair tie and gave it to me. I took out the ribbon bow, combed and tied my hair back as it was before. Sister Alice went ballistic when she saw me without that ribbon bow she put in and redid my hair using two ribbons! The blue satin one and a white satin one were tied into a big double bow even higher up on my head! I looked like a goof ball! It was so unfair for her to do that to me. I mean, I hadn't forgotten my hair tie, it broke! So, I wasn't actually in a violation of the so-called 'Sister-Alice-Rules.'

After wearing those stupid ribbon bows in my hair for the rest of the day, and weathering all the teasing with a smile and holding my head up high, I got some respect from a lot of the kids. Even Sister Alice and the other teachers smiled at me and told me they were proud of the way I handled myself during my punishment time. Sister Alice even sent a letter home with me for my mommy and Auntie to read, sign and send back with me the next day. I was worried about it, but my mommy and Auntie smiled as they finished reading it and also told me how proud of me they were.

The next day during lunch recess some of the older kids came up to me and told me they wanted me to join their club. It was only for boys and only from this school. That made me real happy, let me tell you! All the boys wanted to be in this club, but only a few were asked to join. It was even better for me because I was one of the smallest kids in the school. If you only counted the boys, I was the smallest kid in the school. Well, the rules for new club members were that you had to pull a prank at school and you were always called by your initials. You know, like CG, DJ, BW, well, mine are KT, and when the kids called me, it sounds like they are saying 'Katie.' I didn't really realize the future implications or problems this would crop up, but they did. I took a week to plan out my prank and then told the club what I was going to do. They thought it was a great prank and if I pulled it off, I would be the official prank planner of the club. That meant I would be in with the bigger kids that ran the club, and help with rule making and stuff like that. Since the school had gym only three times a week, it made my prank an easy one to set up. On Tuesday during lunch recess, I snuck in the girl's locker room and poured glue in every lock on every locker in there. That let the glue have a whole day to harden before the girls went to use their lockers. It took me a little longer because I wanted to do this perfectly and not drip any glue anywhere to give them any warning. I snuck out of the girl's locker room and into the boy's bathroom just in time! Sister Alice missed seeing me on the playground during recess and came looking for me. I told her I wasn't feeling so well and had a real hard time doing number two. Sister Alice took me right to our school nurse, Mrs. Pennington, a real mean old battle-axe of a lady. Mrs. Pennington, with Sister Alice standing right there asked me some very embarrassing questions. Like, does this happen often? Do I wet the bed at night or have any accidents? Did I eventually have a good bowel movement? I had to tell her how much I went! Jeepers! Anyway, I told her I didn't know because I didn't look before I flushed.

Sister Alice spoke up and said, "Katie (that's how she pronounced my initials KT) did flush as I called to him in the boy's bathroom, but it didn't smell like he had a BM at all Mrs. Pennington."

That's when Mrs. Pennington gave me that look grown ups give you when they think you have lied to them. Before I knew what was happening, my pants and underpants were at my ankles and I was bent over Mrs. Pennington's lap! She said, "Sister Alice, would you get me that jar of Vaseline and a washcloth, soapy and wet please?"

Sister Alice did that with a huge grin on her face. The next thing I felt was Mrs. Pennington's finger going up my bottom hole! Jeepers! That wasn't enough for her though. She put it all the way in and moved it around inside me in circles! Then she says, "Oh my Sister Alice, he still has a lot inside him. We better call his mommy and let her know. I will recommend that I give him an enema here. We can't have little Katie suffering for the rest of the school day."

Mrs. Pennington then just lifted me up just like I was and flashing Sister Alice my Willy as she laid me on one of the beds in her office. The next thing I know, Sister Alice is calling my mommy on the phone and Mrs. Pennington is removing my shoes, socks, pants and underpants! I can only hear one side of the conversation, but I still say Sister Alice made it sound like I was really suffering and needed this enema badly. Of course my mommy gave them permission and the next thing I know, Sister Alice is putting baby diapers under my bottom and Mrs. Pennington is filling two big red bags. One with warm soapy water and the other with clear warm water. JEEPERS! She screws in this top that has a long hose attached to it and a nozzle on the end to both of the big red rubber bags. She hangs them on this long pole on wheels and rolls it over next to me. She then says, "Okay Katie, roll over and lie on your tummy Sweetie." I do that, only to have Sister Alice slip her hand under my waist and lift me up so she can readjust those baby diapers. Then I feel the nozzle going in and then warm water flowing into my bottom. Mrs. Pennington tells me if I start to cramp up to raise my knees to my tummy. I start to cramp up real quick and soon Willy is just dangling in front of them as I'm now on my knees with my face on the bed. I feel Sister Alice bring the diapers up and hold them as Mrs. Pennington tells me, "Okay Katie, now you have to hold that in you as long as you can. The diapers will let you make it to the potty-chair without making a mess. But, if you can't hold it long enough, just let it go and we will do this again." JEEPERS! Mrs. Pennington removes the nozzle and I hold it in as best I can. That's when Sister Alice, still holding the diapers on me, has me roll on my back. That's when she pins them on me real tight and then snaps a pair of rubber pants over them! Stupid blue rubber pants with baby boys in diapers printed all over them. I see Mrs. Pennington bring over this toilet seat built on a chair with a bucket hooked on under it. She puts it right beside her desk and smiles at me saying, "Only three more minutes you have to hold it Katie and you can come over here and use the potty chair."

JEEPERS, I can't hold it that long and tell her that. She says, "Well try real hard Katie, if you can't then just let it go in your diapers Sweetie." I try real hard and I do make it! That's when Sister Alice sits me up and then lifts me up and sets me on the floor. I run over to the potty-chair and try to pull the diapers down only to find that she has pinned them on me too tightly. The extra pressure I add to myself while desperately trying to push the diapers down makes me let loose a little bit. That's when Mrs. Pennington says, "Oh, well that's alright Katie; you tried real hard, but since you messed in them already, just let it go now Sweetie."

I say, "But, I only did a little, please get the pins off and I can use the toilet then."

Sister Alice replies, "No Katie, we tried that with other children before and it only caused a real mess. Just use your baby diapers Katie. It's alright; we have both changed a lot of baby's diapers in our day." JEEPERS! I can't hold out any longer and the dang diapers soon are filled with this brown smelly mess. Mrs. Pennington tells me to walk around because that helps get it all out. I just stand there not wanting to move when Sister Alice takes my hand and starts walking me around the room. It works alright as after every few steps I have to stop and let more out. YUCK! After about five minutes of walking, Sister Alice picks me up and sits my down on the bed again. When she does that I feel all that mess squish all over my Willy, between my legs and all over my bottom. YUCK! Now they tell me just to lie there for a few minutes to make sure no more comes out as Sister Alice pushes on my shoulders making me lie down on my back. I do go a little more, but what's worse is the rubber pants don't hold it all in and I feel my shirt and t-shirt getting wet with this stuff! YUCK! To make matters worse for me Mrs. Pennington comes over and puts on this green rubber apron and a pair of rubber gloves. Sister Alice has filled a basin with warm soapy water and dropped about ten washcloths into it. That's when the rubber pants are unsnapped and the pins removed from the diapers. The smell was horrible, but the two ladies didn't show any signs that it bothered them at all. Mrs. Pennington started cleaning me up and with her still wearing her now messy gloves she removes my shirt and t-shirt. I'm now completely naked and she finishes the job. They both change the sheet I'm lying on. They have me roll over again and this time on my knees right away. That's when I feel the nozzle from the clear water bag go in me. This time I can get right up and use the potty chair. Sister Alice even moved it right next to the bed this time. I'm lifted off the bed and I sit and let it out. JEEPERS! It sure came out in a hurry and they let me sit there a few minutes. They have me stand up and Sister Alice holds my hand as she walks me around near the chair. I sit and go two more times before it's all out. I can see the brown smelly water in the pail. Mrs. Pennington then says I need another clear bag. It has to come out clear or we aren't done. OH NO, I can't take too much more of this! While Mrs. Pennington fills both bags with clear warm water, just in case, Sister Alice has me stand there as she washes my Willy, between my legs, and my bottom with warm soapy washcloths. I'm so embarrassed, but I don't care anymore about that. I just want this to end and as soon as possible!

To my horror as I am sitting on the potty-chair after the second bag has been emptied into my bottom, the end of school bell rings. Sister Alice goes to the phone and calls my mommy again. She tells her, "Mrs. Taylor, Kimmie was real full of feces and he is getting the clear water follow up now. Don't worry Mrs. Taylor, I will drive Kimmie home myself, but we do have a little problem. His shirt and undershirt have gotten soiled in the process and I'm afraid his school trousers will not fit over the diapers he will have to wear home. I have a shirt he can borrow, but you might get something ready for him to wear once he gets to your shop. Okay, it will be about a half-hour then. See you then. Oh no Judy, it's no problem at all, we love little Kimmie, he is such a good little boy. Okay, Bye, bye."

OH JEEPERS, I have to go to the shop wearing only a borrowed shirt and diapers?

This is bad, real bad. I can hear my cousins now! This time its Mrs. Pennington who washes me off as Sister Alice leaves to get me that shirt. I'm then laid on the bed again and Mrs. Pennington doubles the number of diapers they had put me into before. She pins them on real tightly and then slips these stupid pink colored rubber pants over my feet and up my legs. She pulls them up over the diapers and tucks some of the diapers that are sticking out, up under the rubber pants. These pants have little girls wearing diapers printed all over them. She says, "Sorry Katie, but we used the only pair of boy's rubber pants on you already. These are the only ones we have left to use Sweetie."

I'm dead now; my cousins will never let me forget this! Sister Alice comes back and smiles real big when she sees me standing there only wearing the girly rubber pants. I see the shirt she was talking about and it's not a shirt at all! It's a girl's undershirt complete with the stupid pink ribbon and flower in the middle of the neck opening. My cousins wear these! It's worse than that though, this one is a shiny white one and it clings to me as she puts it on me. It's a stretchy fabric, and it ends just above the rubber pants I'm wearing. JEEPERS!

I ask them, "Um, could I borrow a sheet to wrap up in please?" Sister Alice answers, "Oh no Sweetie, I would have to carry you all the way to my car then. You are too heavy for me to carry you that far. Let me put your shoes and socks back on and we can leave. We put your uniform in a plastic bag and I will carry that for you."

So, in about three minutes, I'm holding one of Sister Alice's hands as I walk out the back door through the thankfully, deserted playground. I have a letter for my mommy clutched in my other hand. She walks me to the building where all the Sisters live to get her keys and takes me right inside. There are eight other Sisters that teach at my school and they are all sitting in the main room chatting away as we walk in.

Sister Alice asks them to watch me while she gets her car keys. That's when it starts and doesn't stop until I'm in the car, strapped into a car seat and we drive away. You see, they think I look so adorable and pretty, they have to do a few things while Sister Alice seems to be taking her time getting her keys. I have my hair redone into a girl's style ponytail and tied with two pink shiny ribbons that are made into a large bow. They go nuts seeing me like this, but I won't let them get to me. I smile and then I'm told what a well-behaved little boy I am and they start heaping praises on me. My shoes are removed and they tie more pink ribbons around my ankles on top of my white socks. Now I have pink ribbons tied into bows on my ankles! I do the polite and correct thing and smile thanking them for their concern of my appearance. That's when Sister Alice comes back and says, "Katie, I called your mommy to tell her were running late and I asked her if you might stay here for dinner and then I will drive you over to her. She agreed, so you can stay with us, eat dinner, have some dessert and then we will go."

JEPPERS!

Well, it would be another half an hour before dinner, so the Sisters ask me if they could PLEASE do a few more little things to see how pretty they can make me look. What could I say? I smiled and told them it was okay, but please don't do too much. They went nuts! I was picked up by Sister James, the biggest Sister anyone has ever seen! She's the gym teacher and coaches the girl's teams in Basketball, Softball and also the girl's Drill team. She stands six-feet, six-inches tall and probably weighs two hundred pounds of solid muscle. The other Sisters all ran up the stairs ahead of Sister James and she says to me, "Katie, that is what the children call you isn't it Sweetheart?" "Um, it's actually my initials Sister James, KT."

"Oh, but your real name is Kimmie isn't it?"

"Um, no Sister, it's Kim."

"I see, well I must say you are the prettiest little boy I have ever seen. You are also the tinniest little cutie pie as well." "Um, thank you Sister James."

She smiles and we enter another room upstairs that looks like a mini-beauty salon. She hands me off to a lady I don't know. I see Sister Jenks sitting under one of the dryers wearing street clothes. The other Sisters are all standing against the walls looking at me and all are smiling and giggling like little girls. JEEPERS, what have I got into now?

This other lady sits me on this seat as some of the Sisters start passing her cushions from the couch in the room. Soon I'm sitting on top of three cushions and am now up high enough for this lady to work on me. Thankfully she removes the stupid pink ribbons from my hair and starts combing it. She parts it down the middle and takes one side and starts braiding it as she sprays it with something from a spray bottle. When she finishes that side she ties it at the end with a smaller ribbon and knots it. Then she opens a drawer and takes out a pink bow and pins it into the ribbon. She does the same with the other side of my hair and then pulls over this tray on wheels. It has fingernail junk on it! My nails are trimmed, filed, buffed and then painted with pink nail polish! She sees my earrings and smiles as she opens another drawer and takes out two studs with pink flowers, larger sized than the normal stud adornments, like the plain silver flat studs I have in. She takes mine out and puts these in. Then she does something with my eyelashes and stands me up. The Sisters go crazy over me! I just smile and let my anger ease out of me slowly but surely.

OH Jeepers! It's posing time and I'm having my picture taken with the bunch of them and then alone with each of them. Sister Alice walks in and joins the fun. Okay, now I have to go and I know I can make it to the bathroom, so I ask Sister Alice and she says, "Well Katie, if you promise not to make a mess and sit until you are through this time. You let me clean you up good and clean and get put back in the diapers after, you can use the toilet downstairs." I agree and she picks me up and on sets me down on my back on the couch. Then she pulls the rubber pants off of me and then unpins the diapers letting them fall away. She stands me up and walks me out holding my hand. Jeepers, right there in front of all the others! Some giggle and others just say what a tiny little thing I am and much too pretty to be a little boy. One adds, "Oh no Sister Alice, you have to use ointment and powder or the baby will get a bad rash. Look, Katie is red all over already." Of course Sister Alice stops right there and then as several Sisters look over my Willy, between my legs and bottom. I'm red alright, but more from being embarrassed than from any rash.

Sister James then says, "Oh I have everything Katie needs in my medical bag. Let me get it, I will meet you in the main room Sister Alice." Thank goodness they are through talking; I have to go badly now! We make it to the downstairs bathroom and I sit and go. It feels like I'm peeing out of my bottom. I finish and I stand up and look, it's clear and doesn't stink. Sister Alice has been soaping up a wash cloth and has another one that has no soap and a towel. She washes me up, rinse's me off and then gently pats dry me. But, all that attention has made Willy a little stiff and Sister Alice smiles as she wets the rinsing cloth with more water and then puts it right over Willy. THAT"S COLD! Willy shrinks even smaller than normal. He and my sac shrivel up and almost disappear inside me! JEEPERS!

We walk back out and all the Sisters are sitting around as I'm put on my back right there on the floor in the middle of the main room. The diapers are slipped under me and Sister James hands Sister Alice some white cream that she spreads all over me. Then she hands her some baby oil and that is spread as well, it makes the white cream become thinner and it feels slippery instead of sticky now. Powder is then added in a generous amount and I am pinned tightly back into the diapers. The pink rubber pants with the baby girls in diapers printed all over them, are slipped back on me and that is that. Its dinner time and we are called to the dining room. Okay, finally something turns out good for me. Dinner is a tossed salad, rolls, and spaghetti with sausage. Where did they get that thing? I mean this is a place for Sisters, not mothers with baby's right? But, there right next to the table is a highchair! I'm put into it as Sister Agnes, the first grade teacher, tells me that her sister visits her often. Her sister has a baby girl and that is why she keeps a highchair and other things here for when her sister comes for a visit and stays for a week. The next thing that happens is the undershirt is removed and a bib is tied around my neck. The cook comes in and starts jabbering away in Spanish, she smiles and tickles me, then takes a small bowl of everything and takes it back in the kitchen still smiling and jabbering away in Spanish. Sister Alice says, "Mrs. Lopez didn't know a baby who eats solid food was coming. She assumed it was Sister Agnes' niece who only eats baby food. She is preparing yours special, just for you Katie."

Cool, I like special things. But not the special I received when Mrs. Lopez brought those small bowls back with everything chopped up into tiny pieces, a rubber coated spoon and a darn sippy-cup! I know I'm small, but not that small looking!

Everyone chuckles and giggles as I thank Mrs. Lopez for her special attention.

That earns me a big sloppy kiss on both of my cheeks. Jeepers! It takes me forever to eat my salad using that stupid rubber coated spoon, then twice as long to eat my dinner. That darn sippy-cup you have to suck on it to get anything to drink out of it. Milk and warm milk at that! Dessert is cherry Jell-O cut into cubes and mixed with whipped cream. I try and try to get one of the darn cubes on that spoon, but they keep slipping off by the time I can get any to my mouth! Sister Alice takes my spoon away and starts feeding me using her spoon. She gives me a bite of mine, and then while I'm eating it, she takes a bit of hers. This way, I can't use the spoon for myself. I see a few flashes go off as I'm about to take a spoonful from Sister Alice. Jeepers! We finish dessert and Sister Alice wets her cloth napkin with her tongue and wipes my mouth and cheeks. I smile, the Sisters chuckle and giggle and I am finally let out of the highchair. I get hugs and kisses by everyone, with an energetic hug and a cheek squeezing by Mrs. Lopez. Sister Alice does the cheek cleaning thing with her napkin again and we are off to the car, I'm strapped into the car seat and we drive away as I'm waving goodbye to the Sisters as they had all came out with us.

It takes us about ten minutes to get to my mommy and Auntie's shop and I tell sister how to drive to the back and park by the delivery bay. She gets out of the car, tells me to sit tight and she will be right back. Jeepers, I can't get out by myself, I'm strapped in tight! The next thing I know, out she comes with my mommy. Mommy goes absolutely nuts over the way I look! I mean she goes off the deep end! Sister Alice gets me out of the car seat as my mommy and her take one of my hands and walks me into the back of the shop. My Auntie and cousins are there waiting and my Auntie has her video camera and Lucy has her camera! I feel like I've been set up! Well, they all go nuts and even my cousins are surprised at how pretty I look. They are saying I'm such a pretty baby girl and not in a teasing way either, they really mean it! That starts my mommy and Auntie going and they dress me up in stages. The first stage they use a pink, one piece t-shirt and frilly panty that goes on like a leotard. Of course the silky one Sister Alice had me in will be laundered and returned to her. The panty part has four rows of white ruffled lace on the seat. At least it mostly hides the prints on the pink rubber pants. They only show through in the front. The frilly ruffles hide the prints in the back. The second stage is a short but very puffy crinoline. It's so short it only covers half way down the frilly ruffles. Stage three is the dress and it is something! Made with pink shiny satin with a white lace overlay that has these little pink bows sewn on it everywhere! Of course it has a white satin sash that ties in a big bow at the back. They love the pink ribbons and bows on my ankles, so they only add a black shiny pair of Mary Jane shoes. That done, with a video and pictures being taken right along, I am led out to the main shop and told to just walk around. I do that and get stopped every so often by customers who of course talk to me in baby talk and tell me what a pretty little girl I am. Jeepers! I keep walking until I see myself in one of those tri-fold mirrors. I look and I don't believe! OH GOD! I do look just like a pretty little girl! Jeepers! I'm so stunned by what I see that I fall backwards on my bottom with a thump! One thankful thing about wearing those diapers, I don't feel a thing as my bottom crashes to the floor.

The salesgirls were kept busy with orders that night. My twin cousins couldn't get enough of me either. Auntie dressed them up in pretty party dresses similar to mine, but made and designed for preteens. They each held one of my hands as we were walking; we were live advertisements for the shop. This ploy worked very well for mommy and Auntie. They watched, approached each customer that stopped and talked to us, and soon they had made another sale. My cousins did do a mean thing to me though. We were walking around when I felt the urge to pee. I whispered to them my need and they just kept walking with me refusing to let go of my hands. I was getting a little desperate when luckily, a lady stopped us and Auntie came over. I tried to talk with her and tell her my need, but she was busy talking to the lady and held up her finger to me signaling for me to wait until she finished talking. Jeepers, I started doing a little dance trying to hold it longer. Finally Auntie was done and I told her. She said, "Kimmie, judging by your dancing around you have to go right now. By the time we get you undressed and the cream cleaned off so you can use the toilet, it will be too late. Just use your diapers Honey, they are thick enough to hold a lot."

My cousins agreed with their mother and I just ran to the back of the shop and hid. There was no way I could get out of this dress without help, so I was stuck peeing in those darn diapers. Auntie was right though; they held it all and could hold even more! My cousins came looking for me a few minutes later, but I stayed hidden I was so embarrassed. Not only did I wet these diapers, they knew I did. I could just hear them now, and I could just picture myself at school. There would be no end to my torment!

I heard my cousins calling for me and getting louder and louder as they became desperate to find me. It almost sounded like they were actually getting worried. The calling for me stopped and then I heard mommy calling for me. I reluctantly came out of my hiding place and walked up to her. She said, "Auntie Joan told me what happened, Honey I don't want you to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. You had no choice Sweetheart and your cousins feel real bad about making you wait so long. I want you to know that even if you came to me right when you had to go, we wouldn't have been able to get you undressed and cleaned off in time. We knew that when we dressed you up in this outfit that you would have to use the diapers Pumpkin. So, don't go blaming yourself or your cousins. You can blame Auntie Joan and me if you want to, but I also want you to know that having you and the girls dressed up like this, we increased sales for the sets ten fold tonight. You have been so good and everyone is very proud of you. No one is going to tease you are make fun of you Sweetheart. As a matter of fact, because you have been so good, with the Sisters and here, I'm going to get you a nice surprise." "Um, a surprise for me mommy; what is it?"

"If I told you Kimmie, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"

"Um, no I guess not."

"Tomorrow, we will go and get it alright Kimmie?"

I smiled and gave her a hug which she returned and added a few kisses as well. Then we walked back out to the shop. Another half an hour of walking around and we would be going home. It's Auntie Joan's week to stay until closing at eleven. My cousins would be coming home with me and mommy. Walking around the shop with my two cousins holding my hands, did look adorable according everyone there. But it was also embarrassing when the ladies treated me like a baby. They would lift the dress and petticoat up to get a better look at the panties that were sewn to the undershirt top like a leotard. I think a few of them called it an Onezy. We sold a lot of those that night! We all wore what we had on for the ride back home. I was strapped into the car seat and my cousins sat on their booster seats with their seatbelts on. You have to be four-feet, ten-inches tall in this state to sit in a regular seat without a booster seat. You have to be four-feet, one-inch tall to get to sit in a booster seat. Any child, smaller than four-foot, one-inch tall, needs to be strapped into a car seat. Since I am three-feet, three-inches tall, I'm going to need the darn car seat for a while yet.

The ride home was filled with excited chatter between my cousins and my mommy. The two girls loved the outfits they were wearing and kept saying how pretty I was. My mommy agreed with them on both counts and said, "You know girls, we might make this a once a week event. Judging by the added sales tonight for all the items you three are wearing, I think it would be a shame not to. As an added bonus for you girls, we would also pay you the going commission for the added sales you three generate on that day. That would give you some extra spending money."

My cousins went nuts hearing this, and squealed as they hugged each other and then me! I said, "Wait, I'm not a girl remember? You don't think I like wearing baby girl's clothes and these darn diapers do you?" My cousins stopped squealing and looked crestfallen. I had burst their bubble big time! My mommy said, "Well Katie, you sure fooled everyone that saw you tonight. Even the Sisters said you made the prettiest baby girl they have ever seen. To tell you the truth 'KATIE,' every one of our customers tonight that saw you and that includes the ones that weren't buying anything you girls were wearing, said the same exact thing. That you were the prettiest baby girl they ever saw. Of course they complimented all three of you, but I remember you seeing your reflection in those mirrors and you were so surprised that you fell on you bottom. Now Katie, admit it, what did you see when you looked into those mirrors?"

"UM, but I'm not a baby girl, I'm a five-year old boy! And, my name is Kim or KT, not Kimmie or Katie!"

"You didn't answer my question KIM. Now answer my question."

"Oh jeepers mommy, um, I saw a real pretty baby girl, alright?" "Okay, Kim, now when you are dressed like this, what name do you think is better? Would it be Kim, Kimmie or Katie?"

"Um, none of them mommy; everyone knows me as a boy by those names." "Not anymore Pumpkin, the Sister's called you Katie. Auntie Joan called you Kimmie and so did I. Your cousins I believe called you both, Kimmie and Katie. So, you choose Sweetheart, what name shall it be while you are in baby girl mode?"

My cousins spoke up and hollered as one.

"KATIE! It has to be Katie!"

"Um, alright, call me Katie when I'm dressed like this, but I don't like it one bit!"

Chapter Three - NOT AGAIN

At least when we got home, mommy took me straight to our room (we shared since Auntie Joan got her own room and my two cousins had their room and that left only one bedroom) and undressed me down to the pink rubber pants she insisted on calling 'my panties.' She and Auntie were right though, it would have taken a while before they could have gotten me out of everything they had dressed me up in. She took my hand and walked me into the one bathroom we had and removed the rubber panties and unpinned the diapers. That's when my two cousins walked in! They were dressed just in their panties and went to the sink to wash up and brush their teeth before bed. OH JEEPERS! Mommy took away the diapers and I was now naked in front of my cousins! She ran the bath and lifted me into it so I was still standing up. That's when she started washing all that gunk and caked up baby powder off of me down there. I looked at my cousins and they had their backs turned towards us, but I could see them looking in the mirror at us! Any way, my cousins turned around when they had finished and walked up to me just as mommy was washing Willy and pulling the skin back. Lucy and Lisa waited until she had finished and gave me a hug and a kiss saying they loved me and wouldn't tease me anymore, no matter what happened.

Well, that was nice and they never appeared in front of me in their panties before, so I guess they really meant it. Mommy then took out my two ponytails and the ribbons. Then she brushed my hair and wrapped me in a towel and carried me back to our room. That's when she put my long sleep shirt on me. It's really just a tank top t-shirt, but it comes down to my knees. That's what I always sleep in. She tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. I was asleep in seconds, I was really tired!

Auntie Joan woke us up in the morning. Mommy had already left for the dress shop. We had to wash up, have breakfast, and brush our teeth, then dress for school. Having just one bathroom made it tough on me. I had to use the potty chair in mommy's and my bedroom in the morning or late at night if I had to go. The girls got the bathroom first, so I used my potty chair because I couldn't wait that long. Then it was my turn in the bathroom and we met downstairs for breakfast wearing just our robes. After breakfast we would all go and brush out teeth and then dress for school. Mommy always laid out my clothes for me so I had everything ready. I got dressed in my uniform and went back downstairs. That's when Auntie Joan would take me out to the car and strap me into my car seat. By then the girls were ready and they came out and locked the front door. We were off and I was worried about what today would bring. I just remembered about my prank, and was worried now that all the Sisters liked me. What would they say if they found out it was me who did that prank? We got to school, gut kisses from Auntie Joan and went to our classrooms. Sister called attendance; we said the Our Father Prayer and then the Pledge of Allegiance. After that we started our letters. Right now, the fifth and sixth grades had gym and then we heard a commotion as a bunch or real mad sounding girls walking by our classroom. Our Sister went out to see what the matter was and Sister James told her. Just before lunch, Sister Alice called for a special assembly and we were all in the auditorium sitting and waiting. Sister Alice made a big thing out of the glued locks and announced that the whole school would remain just where we were until the guilty party or parties stood up and apologized to the girls and to face their punishment. I saw the boys looking around and the ones that were part of the club looked everywhere but at me. About ten minutes went by and Sister was about to speak again when I stood up and said that I was the one who did it. I apologized to the girls and confessed that it was a lousy thing to do and I would make it up to them some how. Sister Alice as well as all the rest was very surprised that it had been me who did it. I was the last person they would have thought of. Sister Alice called me up on stage and I had to stand there looking like the idiot fool I was while she asked the girls if there was anything I could do to make amends. Right after she said that, the girls formed into a group. That's the fifth and sixth grade girls as the noise level increased substantially. Everyone heard a few of them exclaim; "NO WAY, that couldn't have been him!" And "We'll ask and he better tell the truth or we will make it worse!"

One of the girls stayed standing as the rest took there seats again. Sister Alice said, "Yes Pamela, what did you girls decide?" "Sister Alice, we all know Kim, and we need him to answer one question and to promise to tell the truth no matter what. If he does that, we have a solution and we will forgive him for what he has done."

Sister Alice was real surprised at this and said, "Well Kim, it looks like you it's up to you. I think this is a very generous offer. Do you promise to answer the question they will ask you truthfully, no matter what it is?" "Yes, I will answer truthfully, no matter what the question is Sister Alice."

"Alright girls, ask your question."

"Kim, several of the girls were at your mother and aunt's store last night. They said there was a very pretty baby girl walking around dressed in a pretty baby dress complete with diapers and everything. They also said that it was your twin cousins that were walking this little girl around the store while holding her hands. Kim, was this baby girl you?"

OH JEEPERS!

Sister Alice was smiling and when I looked at her she even winked at me! I was red as a beat and I was stuck now. The whole school would learn what I did not to reveal, ever. I stood up tall, squared my shoulders and looked the girl straight in the eye and said, "Yes, that was me, but I really didn't want to do it. I was sort of forced into it."

The girl stood up again and said, "Then we have a solution." Sister Alice called her to the side and they talked for a few minutes and that's when it all started. The boys began calling me names like Sissy, and girly-boy and some even worse. I looked them each square in the eyes and said, "You can call me names, but that doesn't change anything. I can't help the way I look, God made me this way. My cousins and I made a lot of money for my mommy and Auntie last night by being dressed the way we were. We three are going to be making money once a week for dressing up in the store. With the money I make I will pay for new locks for all the girls. That's the least I can do for all the trouble I caused because of a stupid prank. I did it because I wanted some friends. I don't have any friends here. Everybody thinks I'm too little and too cute to be friends with the other boys. Being a boy, the girls here don't want to be my friend either. I guess I just won't have any friends after this anyway. So, call me all the names you want. I don't have any friends to lose, and now I won't be making any new friends either."

I stepped away and turned my back on them because I didn't want them to see my crying. The tears just started to fall and I couldn't hold them back. It hurt me, all of them calling me these insulting names. I was surprised none of them continued when I stopped talking. I think the other Sisters were busy talking to their students. I could hear them talking to them all in hushed voices. That's when Sister Alice came back and made the announcement. "Many of you call Kim, Katie. I know it was supposed to stand for his initials of KT, but all of you changed that on your own didn't you? I've heard all of you calling him Katie quite often. Well, you've gotten your wish and you may choose to use this opportunity to increase your name calling and teasing of this little boy. But, if I hear you or catch any of you being cruel, you will answer to me and I promise you it will not be a pleasant experience. Do you all understand what I am telling you now?"

They all answered as in one voice, "YES SISTER ALICE." "Alright then, Kim, this is the solution the girls have come up with. I add here that it is depending on your mother and aunt's approval. From now until all the locks have been replaced by you, you will be called Katie and be dressed similarly as you were in you mother and aunt's store last night. If you accept this, then once the locks have been replaced, you can return to wearing your boy's school uniform and nothing else will be said about this incident. You will be completely forgiven by all of us."

OH NO! Why did they think of that? Well, it doesn't matter anymore anyway. What do I have to lose, but nothing at all? Being dressed like that at school will be humiliating and is going to be tough. I squared me shoulders after I wiped my tears away with my shirt sleeve and said, "Okay, I'll do it if my mommy and Auntie say it's okay."

Sister Alice praised my decision saying, "This tiny boy I think is braver than all of you bigger and supposedly tougher boys at this school. I wonder what your decision would have been if you were in his place. I think it would be interesting to know what your decision would have been after hearing all of you insult this child so easily. I want all of the boys of this school to write me a paper that will be due on Friday morning. I want your parents to read it and sign it or it will not be accepted and I will be calling your parents myself to learn why it wasn't signed by them. I will be giving your teachers a special paper for this purpose. On it will be the story of what happened today and why. Then, it will explain what I want from you to write; your decision to accept or deny the girls offer and why you either accepted or denied it. Further, it had better be signed by both your parents or for those of you with a single parent, their signature."

That said, she released all of us to go back to our classrooms. I had to accompany Sister Alice and that girl who had spoken for all the girls. Once there, Sister Alice called my mother at the store and explained things pretty well I think, by the one side of the conversation I could hear. My mother would call Aunt Joan and have her call Sister Alice and we would know then. So far my mommy had said yes, after hearing everything and what I had done. That girl, Pamela, said, "Katie, we think you are brave too. We expected you to refuse and then we would have had Sister Alice decide on what your punishment would be, but you surprised us. You accepted this difficult punishment. I think I can safely say that you do have friends here. More than you know and I'm one of them."

She gave me a hug and let me cry on her shoulder. I couldn't help it! What's wrong with me? Boys aren't supposed to cry in front of people! Inside my heart was so glad to hear and feel that I did have friends. The feeling just ripped me open and I cried.

Pamela was told to go back to her class and Sister Alice gave her a smile and a small hug of her own. Then, she turned to me and explained how much damage and destruction I had done.

"Katie, by rights you should be suspended for a week and face criminal charges from the state. Those locks are not the new and cheaper combination locks most of the schools have now. Our locks are the Special Edition Master Locks. We chose these over the others because once purchased, they should have lasted forever. You destroyed forty of these locks at a cost of $22.25 per lock. That means you will have to pay back $890.00 before your punishment ends. Are you still willing to go through with this punishment, or would you rather be suspended and face criminal charges? I should warn you that at this dollar amount, you will be charged with a felony. That means it will be on your records and will prevent you from attending any of the major colleges in this country." "Um, if my mommy and Auntie decide that this is okay, I will do the girl's punishment. At least I know I will be forgiven. Sounds to me like the other choice is almost like a life sentence and never really forgives anyone for anything they might have done."

"You are correct Katie. Even though a convicted criminal serves his or her time, they suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives. Sometimes this seems unfair, but they have caused people harm in some way, and the people who do not resort to criminal activity need to be protected from them. You caused more harm than just by destroying those locks Katie. You prevented forty girls from going to and participating in gym. You prevented Sister James from teaching these girls some important lessons and skills. You have also cost this school an additional $890.00 we did not plan on spending. That means certain other programs might have to be cut back or even canceled for this school year. You made our custodian work extra hard and longer than he wanted to because he had to cut each lock off of each of the forty lockers. That was not an easy task for him to accomplish Katie. Those are very strong locks, built to last a lifetime and made of a special steel alloy that resists cutting. It took him over twenty-hours to finish the job. The added cost of his time to do this should be added to the cost you now owe, but we will forgive this part because of the severity of your punishment. Now, go back to your classroom and come to my office after the last bell."

"Yes Sister Alice, I will."

The rest of the day was real creepy for me. I kept getting stared at, whispered about, pointed at and laughed at. During lunch recess I tried to hide in the church, but Pamela came and found me with three other girls and my two cousins. Four girls sat on one side as my two cousins made me scoot further into the pew by sitting on my other side.

Pamela whispered to me that I had caused further trouble by what I had done because several of the girls had a few things hidden in those lockers and Sister Alice found them as the custodian cut the locks off. It seems Sister Alice took this opportunity to search the lockers. She found several copies of 'Play Girl' magazines and several very explicit paperback books. Since it was an illegal search, none of the girls got into any real trouble besides having there things confiscated. A note was sent to each of them stating they could come to her office and claim their property if they chose to. The girls were pretty mad about that! No way could they ever get their books and magazines back now. I told them I was real sorry about what I had done and I didn't think things through well at all. I didn't think of what my actions really caused or what the real reactions would be. I also told them that their brand of justice was costing me a lifetime of ridicule and humiliation. This would never be forgotten and would follow me all through my school years and even in my neighborhood. I said, "You have suffered the loss of one gym class and a few magazines and books that can be replaced. The price for my actions is costing me much more than that! It's bad enough to have to come to school wearing a baby girl's dress, but having the added humiliation of wearing diapers as well, makes this even worse. You know they will make me use those darn diapers, and ban me from the restrooms. I'm a boy so I can't use the girl's bathrooms. If I try and use the boy's bathrooms I will be killed. You've got what you wanted, so now leave me alone please. My humiliation will start soon enough and then you can get your revenge."

They tried to stop me from leaving and talk to me some more, but I pushed by my cousins and ran back into the school. I just sat at my desk and stayed there until I heard the recess over bell and soon my classmates filed back in. I could feel the looks I was getting and heard the whispered comments and teasing. I didn't look at any of them and just stared at the blackboard. Sister passed out the crayons and a picture to color. Each student received a different picture; mine was a little girl in a dress. Even my teacher was getting into this. You had to color the picture with the colors written for each part of the picture. I took out my box of eight crayons and started coloring. I heard Suzy, the girl who sat next top me giggling and I knew why. Soon the whispers let the rest of the class know what picture I got to color. No, I sure wouldn't be making friends here. I wish I could stop these tears from falling, but at least I wasn't crying so anyone could hear me. I finished my picture and took out my paper to practice my handwriting. I already knew how to print my name well. Now I wanted to write it as good as I could print it. I decided to use all the names people called me now. I wrote.

"Kim Taylor, Kimmie Taylor, Katie Taylor, Lonely Taylor." It didn't take me long to fill up that paper, so I took out another and decided to print then the fancy way my mommy had taught me, I wrote, "Kim Taylor, Kimmie Taylor, Katie Taylor, Lonely Taylor."

I filled that paper and Sister came by to collect all the pictures and she took my handwriting papers as well. Now it was story time and Sister would read us a story with some type of meaning to it. Usually sister had us all move the desks to the back and we would all sit on the floor, but this time we didn't do that. Sister handed out a picture we would have to take home and color. We had to bring it back when we finished, but no later than Friday. It was actually two pictures, one on each side of the paper. That's when she sat down and told us the story that went with the two pictures she had given us. Once upon a time long, long ago, there were two groups of caterpillars, one group was pink and the other group was blue. One day when they all gathered together to play the little caterpillars noticed that one of them had changed. No longer was it just a blue caterpillar, but blue and pink as well. Now the blue group of caterpillars wouldn't let this little caterpillar play with them because it now had pink as well. The pink group of caterpillars wouldn't let it play with them because it had blue as well as pink. The little caterpillar had no one to play with now and none of the other caterpillars wanted it as their friend. The pink and blue groups gathered together to talk about the other little caterpillar. They decided that since it was different than they were it couldn't belong and was no longer invited to play with them. The lonely little caterpillar went off by itself and found a new friend. This friend was lonely too, because it was a skunk and nobody ever wanted to play with a skunk! One day the skunk and little mixed colored caterpillar were watching the other caterpillars playing together when the skunk said, "Hey little friend, do you see that?"

"See what big friend?" Said the little pink and blue caterpillar.

"When they are playing together, those caterpillars look just like you!" It was true, when the blue and pink caterpillars joined together to play, they were all mixed together and it looked like they were pink and blue. Soon enough it was time for the little caterpillars to make their cocoons and go to sleep inside them. While they slept, the little caterpillars grew into butterflies. Each of them one by one came out of their cocoons and slowly stretched after their long sleep and then spread their big beautiful wings, fluttering them and looking at how handsome and pretty they were. The blue caterpillars turned into handsome butterflies with brilliant blue colored wings. The pink caterpillars turned into pretty butterflies with brilliant pink colored wings. Now the little caterpillar was all by itself away from the others. The pink and blue caterpillar turned into a butterfly with beautiful brilliant pink and blue colored wings. It was the most beautiful butterfly anyone had ever seen. The other butterflies seeing how beautiful this butterfly was, joined with it and they became good friends. You see, now that the little caterpillars had turned into a big beautiful butterfly, even prettier and more handsome that the others, they all wanted to be its friend. The lonely caterpillar was lonely no more. It turned out to be the best of both colors, because it had grown up as both colors at the same time.

Sister smiled and looked at all of us. She then told us we should choose which colored caterpillar we wanted to be and color the caterpillar that color. The same rule applied for the butterfly on the other side of the paper. She told us to remember how lonely the other caterpillar had been when the others had not let them join them, not even to play. She then said, "So, what caterpillar are you children today? What caterpillar will you be later on? What caterpillar do you really want to be? Now, what butterfly will you grow up to become? That is your homework assignment. Have these back to me completely colored by Friday's class."

The final end of school bell rang and all the kids ran to get their stuff and off they went. I waited until the last of them left and made my way to Sister Alice's office. The secretary there told me to have a seat and wait. I waited, and waited for about thirty-minutes when her door finally opened and I was sent inside.

My mommy was there and so were Auntie and my two cousins. My mommy was not happy, and she gave me that look that told me I was in deep trouble. I started to say I was sorry, but she stopped me and said, "Kim, you really hurt me and I just don't understand why you would do something like this; to destroy someone else's property as a prank. You have caused a great deal of trouble and cost this school extra money they don't have to spend. I have paid for new locks for the girls lockers, but your punishment will not end until you pay me back every penny! I will inform Sister Alice when you have done that. Now, since Auntie Joan and I offered you the chance to earn some money at the store, I think you will have to work each Saturday. You owe a lot of money Kim, so I think you should work after church on Sunday as well. This will shorten the length of your punishment time by several weeks. But, only if you do as I say. I will insist you work every weekend until this debt is paid. Do you understand me Kim?" "I understand mommy, and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone or cause so much trouble. It was a stupid prank, done for a stupid reason. You won't have to worry about me doing anything stupid like this again. I promise and I will work even more if you want me to."

Then she said, "Well, since it is Tuesday afternoon, I think we should go to the store right now and get your clothes. I am so mad and hurt right now I can't think straight! All I know is that not only will you be wearing baby girl's clothes to school, but all the while you are at home as well! I think that will teach you never to even think about pulling such a stupid stunt again! Now, let's go and I don't want any trouble out of you. You have caused enough trouble to, to many people already."

I didn't dare look at anyone as we left and I was strapped even extra tightly into my car seat. As Auntie drove us to their store, they talked and talked about all the trouble and money I had cost them and everyone else. I just stared at my dangling feet the whole way. My cousins weren't saying anything, but I could feel them staring at me, and feel the looks I was getting from my mommy and every time Auntie glanced at me in the rearview mirror. We arrived at the store far too soon for me, it only seemed like seconds, but had been much longer. My two cousins disappeared inside so fast, I didn't know if they were eager to watch my transformation, or went running to get away from all the tension and stress. Mommy left me to Auntie as she said she had to take a walk to cool off. Auntie removed my straps after a few tugs to get them loose enough. She carried me inside and took me right to the area that stocked the diapers and 'rubber panties' as she called them. She was quick and selective at the same time. No plain white anything, all the rubber panties was colored and had ruffles, frills, lace and everything else you could think of added to them. The diapers she started collecting were the extra thick white nighttime diapers. Then, it was all prints and colors for the rest of the diaper selections. Even the diaper pins were either colored, had cartoon character heads, animals, and even pins with plastic ribbons and bows on them. She filled up two carts already, jeepers, how many do they need for a few weeks of me dressing like this? It looks like they have enough for a year or more already! Auntie went to the section that stocked the diaper cover panties and the Onezy things. I think she got two of each style, and they had more than just a few styles! Then she was off to gather me tights and socks. She really surprised me by how many different petticoats she gathered and dropped into the third cart filling it up. Next she gathered shoes and I saw a few beginner high heels thrown in! Several pairs of pantyhose of different shades and colors finished this section.

Mommy came back and told Auntie that she made arrangements for me to stay with the Sisters until Friday after school. I needed enough night time diapers and rubber panties to last for two nights. Oh, and two pretty nighties as well. She told her the Barbie set and the Little Princess set would do the trick. She said, "We need these days to prepare things for when Katie arrives. Our house isn't set up for a little baby girl. Everything will be all ready for Katie to arrive on Friday after school."

That said, Auntie Joan handed her a big bag and mommy walked me out to the car holding my hand firmly as we went. I looked at her as she was strapping me back into my car seat, with my look of 'why are you doing all this to me?' She said, "Don't give me that look young man. It just tells me you don't yet realize all the hurt and problems you have caused by your stupid prank. You know Kim, everyone was so proud of you yesterday and today, you managed to ruin that didn't you? In just one day, you wiped away what people thought and felt about you. Well, I guess you have to be brought up correctly again for it to stick. This time you had better listen and learn better than you've been doing." We drove back to the school and went around it to the convent. Sister Alice was waiting for us as we pulled to a stop. All I had with me was the uniform I was wearing and the picture of the caterpillar and the butterfly I had to color. My mother just handed me to Sister Alice and without a hug, kiss or even saying goodbye to me, she drove away. I fought back my tears and just slumped against Sister Alice. I was carried inside and right upstairs where a bubble bath was drawn for me. I was stripped and set into the tub and left there without a word being said. I did cry then, this was worse than anything I could have imagined happening to me and by my own family. I started to wash myself as I cried, thinking on how I had lost everything in such a short span of time. I have lost my mother's love, my Auntie's love, my two cousins would not want anything to do with me now and I'm sure they wouldn't love me anymore. All the Sisters were mad at me, especially Sister Alice and now I'm to stay with them until Friday afternoon. My punishment which I thought at first pretty severe, has now turned into a real nightmare! I would be a baby girl twenty-four hours a day until the debt was paid off. I know what that means and I know this will stay with me until I can just disappear from the face of the earth. Who will ever forget this? No one will ever forget it, that's for sure. My debt will never be paid as long as people remember me as Katie, the little baby girly-boy! Sister Alice walked in and took the washcloth away from me and washed me all over even after I had just done that. She lifted me from the tub and patted me dry, took my hand and led me naked out and into the upstairs sitting room. Sister James was waiting there for me and she had another bag of stuff in her hands. I saw that the nighttime diapers were already stacked in a big pile and I also saw a pair of pink rubber panties, and a yellow pair waiting for me. On hangers, hanging from the long, tall reading lamp, were two nighties, one pink and one yellow. Also attached to them were matching frilly ruffled diaper covers. Right in the middle of the floor was a changing pad; it had little diapered babies printed all over it. Sister Alice had me lie down on my back on the changing pad and she left. Sister James took over and dumped out the contents of the bag she had been holding. I saw baby powder, baby oil, diaper rash ointment, two baby bottles, a sippy-cup and a pacifier! Jeepers, they really want me to suffer and humiliate me. What should I expect now anyway? I think the purpose of all this is to humiliate me so thoroughly that I will remember this for the rest of my life. Sure, why not? At the same time they are making sure no one else ever forgets either. Anyone that sees me and knows why I'm dressed like this will remember their whole life as well. Even long after my punishment is over they will all remember just as I will; my debt will never be paid off, ever.

The next thing I know I am being walked down the stairs, thickly diapered and wearing the pink nightie with the frilly ruffled panties. Sister James walks me into this small room off of the main floors sitting room and it has a little chair and table in the corner. She has me sit down and I see the picture I am to color on the little table with a box of crayons next to it. This box of crayons has sixty-four different colors in it! That gives me an idea and I start to color the caterpillar first. Sister James leaves me and I am alone. That's cool, because I am alone, now and forever. Nobody will even want to know me after this. So, I start using as many colors as I can fit on the caterpillar; one little solid circle for each color until the caterpillar is completely filled in. I turn the page over and select one color for the butterfly, BLACK! I color it completely and I'm finished. I decided to add a few words to the pictures. For the side with the caterpillar I write.

"With Family and No Friends"

On the side with the now solid black butterfly I write.

"Truly Alone, No Family, No Friends"

On the top of each side I wrote, "Colored by little baby, girly-boy, Katie Taylor" Yes, that's the way I feel it is now. I even made it look nice by using the fancy style printing my mommy taught me to do. I sit at the table in the little chair, dressed as I am and ponder what the future will bring and what I might do about it.

Yesterday I was embarrassed and humiliated by those who supposedly loved me and those who supposedly liked me at least. They had a great time turning me into a little baby girl. First, the humiliation of the enema, then the girly pink rubber panties and undershirt, my hair, earrings and even socks were turned girly. Displayed for all to see and then dressed in that outfit, made to use my diapers and walked around the store making sure I was seen by everyone there. Turns out everyone there included girls from my school. That gave them the idea for the most entertaining and most humiliating punishment ever devised. I don't know about the increasing the sales part now. I think most of the people coming into the store will show up just to get a good look at the girly-boy dressed as a baby-girl and even made to use the diapers like a real baby. I further think on what my mother, yes, I now say mother. Saying mommy means more than saying mother, maybe I should just say parent. Yes, but mother will do. Auntie is now just a relative like my cousins. I live with my parent and relatives. Yup, that sounds right.

What is my parent doing that takes this long to prepare for me coming back home? Home, um, no, not a home, but a house. What is she preparing for me, her child, to come back to that house too? Baby stuff, that's it! Sure, why not make this humiliation utterly complete? Yup, that's what it is and now I know what to do. No reactions! I will show no reactions at all. I will study and do my work. I will do what they ask, but I will not show any emotion at all! I will save my crying and despair for when I am alone, like now! My silent tears fall freely and heavily, soaking the paper my solid black butterfly is on. I cry until my tears stop flowing, I don't think I have any left now. A minute after I have stopped shedding my silent tears, I hear someone walking towards this little room. I can't see them because my chair is facing the wall. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Sister Alice motioning for me to go with her. I get up, leaving my picture on the little table and follow her into the kitchen. There is the highchair and I am lifted and sat in it as the table is now clicked into place locking me in. I'm given one of those three sectioned plates with everything either chopped into tiny pieces or the consistency of pudding. All I have is that little rubber coated spoon to eat it with and I do. I eat it all and wait. I'm handed a sippy-cup of milk next and I drink that. I sit and wait.

Sister James comes in a few minutes later and gets me out of the highchair. She takes my hand and leads me into another the main sitting room. Oh, I see, so it starts already, even before Monday. I'm placed inside a playpen, she holds the pacifier in front of my face, I take it and put it in like she wants, ignoring the toys and the book about animals, and I lie down and face the wall closest to me. I hear her leave.

I hear someone go into the little room next to this one where I left my picture. I hear a gasp and someone rushing out and then up the stairs. I hear muffled sounds as people are talking. Then I hear someone walking down the stairs. I close my eyes and try to ignore them as they get closer and closer. Then I hear, "Kimmie, sit up Sweetie and look at me."

I roll over, sit up and see Sister Alice standing looking down at me. She reaches in and lifts me up and holds me tightly against her. I start to cry. Darn it, not in front of her! But I can't stop, I have no control over my feelings, my hurt and pain slowly fall from my eyes in the form of tears. "Kimmie, who taught you to print so nicely?"

"My parent, Sister Alice"

"You mean your mommy?"

"No, I mean my parent. My mother, mommies love their children, they don't do what my parent is doing to me."

"So, you don't think her or your aunt love you anymore?" "I know they don't. How could they? I mean, oh, it doesn't matter anymore. I know what I have to do now and I will do it. Everyone will be happy and everyone will get what they want. I just have to get through it, grow up, and leave." "Oh? And where would you leave for?"

"Somewhere away from everyone, some place no one that knows me from here will ever show up."

"Is there such a place Kimmie?"

"Yup, anyplace no one ever wants to go to. Like in the middle of a huge swamp or another country in a place no one wants to visit." "You think you will be happy in places like that?"

"Happy? What does being happy have to do with anything Sister Alice?"

"Oh Kimmie, you can't tell me you have never been happy before." "I've been happy before. I know what being happy is. Why try to be happy when you know you will never be happy again Sister Alice?" "So, you don't think when this is over that you will ever be happy again?" "I know I'm not happy now, I wasn't happy yesterday and I know I won't be happy tomorrow and even months after that. This will never be over Sister, I know that. As long as anyone remembers Katie the little baby girly-boy, this will never be over."

"I know one thing Kimmie that you are far wiser than any five-year old I have ever known. I also know that you don't know a lot about human beings and why they do things. You think what you going through is a life long sentence of loneliness. Many people have been through far worse Kimmie and have gone on to live happier lives because of what they have been through." "Okay, if you say so Sister, but all I know is what I see coming and it's not being happy. I might make others happy, but I'm sure not happy and I don't see how I could be happy anytime soon or even after I don't have to be Katie anymore. I will always be Katie after this. They will look at me and see me as I was before, not as I will be then."

"I think you are wrong Kimmie, I know you are wrong. You will see Sweetheart, you will see."

Sister Alice hugs me tightly to her again, so I slip the pacifier back in my mouth. I do that because that's what they want me to do. I will do what they want; there is nothing else to do anyway.

Sister Alice brings me upstairs to a guestroom that has a crib in it. It has other things too, but I see the crib and I know where I am headed. She puts me in the crib and covers me with a blanket. The rail is raised as I hear it click locking it in place. She tells me to say my prayers and leaves, shutting off the light and closing the door.

I take out the pacifier and slip it into the pillow case so it will be close when they want me to use it again. Happy? I will be happy again? I don't see how? Will there be someone who doesn't care what I have done or what I was made to do and wear? Will someone forget or maybe forget long enough for me to let my guard down and then all of a sudden remember? Yup, remember and ask me like the girls did today at school. 'Were you the one dressed as the little baby girl?' I toss this way and roll over that way. Unable to get comfortable wearing these diapers and the ruffles on these panties tickles my legs. I can't keep my legs together; the bulge and bulk of these diapers keep them separated. I have to lie on my side with my legs spread to get comfortable enough to stay still. The door opens and in walks Sister James, she is holding that baby bottle and is bringing it to me. I take it from her and suck on the nipple. That's what they want me to do right? Its warm milk, warm like being heated on a stove warm, not left out on the kitchen counter warm. It doesn't take to long to empty the bottle and I roll on my side, spread my legs and slowly drift off to sleep. Dreams are your storybooks, the fictionalized accounts of what has been and what might be in your future. My dreams that long night were more like nightmares. Produced in color and in the finest three dimensional animations anyone could ever hope for. Funny thing about nightmares versus your regular, run of the mill dreams; nightmares are more intense and add so much more emotion than your regular dreams. While you are in a nightmare, you feel scared, shame, fear, it seems like a nightmare will use all your senses in a negative way and multiply them until you awaken as they reach your limits of intensity. My dreams were like an endless series of torturous humiliations, which triggered each of my emotions and left me with a sense of total loss and abandonment. In each of these series, I broke away at the last second and ran. I was running away from all that was both good and bad, only to end up all alone, naked and heading into a cave in some wilderness. As I entered the cave, a new nightmare began. What were these series of nightmares trying to show me? I already know what to expect from my classmates and the other children at school. I already know what to expect from all the Sisters and other teachers. I know what to expect from my 'parent and relatives.' Each of the scenarios had showed me those. The cave, running to the cave after I had rid myself of all the girly-boy trappings; all that did was trigger another scenario of another nightmare. What if I swallowed my tiny pride and even smaller ego and went along with this nightmare? I'm smart enough and sharp enough to, to what? Can I, Kim Taylor exist when everyone else is seeing me as Katie Taylor, the baby-girl in diapers and frilly dress? Um, don't judge a book by its cover! Okay, I'm the book and my cover is all decorated as a baby-girl. A baby-girl that is a little big to still be in diapers, but people look past that if you appear cute enough. I'm proof positive of that so far. Inside the book that I am, I'm still Kim Taylor.

Okay, Katie for the others, but Kim Taylor as often as possible. That means while class is in session I am Kim Taylor no matter what my cover looks like. The truth is, I should not be in this crib! This is breaking the rules by the adults. My punishment does not start until Monday! My appearance as Katie should not start for my parent and adult relative until Saturday, or Friday evening at the soonest! Okay, I will stand up for myself because no one else will be standing up for me Kim Taylor.

It is morning and I hear activity outside my door. I quickly remove my nightie, the rubber pants and unpin the diapers letting them fall. I open up the baby bottle and use it as a urinal. I wait for someone to come in as I know they will soon enough.

Sister James walks in and seeing me standing there naked with a defiant expression and body language, stops dead in her tracks. I say, "I am not supposed to have to be Katie Taylor until Monday for school. I will not be abused and taken advantage of by any of you! I want my school uniform and I will refuse any more treatment like last night!"

Sister James walks out of the room quickly and soon returns with Sister Alice. Sister Alice says, "Alright young man, since you think we are the source of your abuse, let me explain something to you. Your mommy has a punishment for what you have done as well as the one the school has. We are carrying out her wishes for your treatment and it has nothing to do with your school punishment, which as you have said, does not begin until Monday. If you have any objections to the way we have treated you, speak to your mommy and not to us. We are following her instructions for the after school punishment which she has sole control over." "I do not have a mommy anymore Sister! I have a parent, a mother in name only! The name Mommy implies a trust and love that goes both ways, since my parent has no love for me, I will never call her mommy again. I am just a dress up doll for her and my so-called aunt. I am a play doll for my so-called cousins. I am a money maker and soon that will no longer be the case will it? Once word has gone out, and I believe it has already been spread far and wide I will just be an oddity to be stared at and humiliated. I would like to wear my school uniform today please. That was our agreement for my school days until Monday. After school, go ahead and follow my mother's directions. But, for my school day, I 'WILL' be wearing my school uniform!"

"Alright young man, just so you understand me. During your school day you will be dressed in your regular uniform and treated by all the Sisters and staff like the little boy you are. That is until after Friday's school day. Your 'parent' will be picking you up then and we will see you Monday morning for school dressed as we have agreed. If not, the police will come and remove you from class. You can then file charges against us and against your parent and relatives if you so wish. Now today after school, we have agreed with your parent to allow her discretion on how we dress and treat you. Remember, she called us and requested we keep you here until your home has been adequately prepared for you until Friday after school."

"Fine Sister Alice, whatever my parent and relative instructed you to do to me after school until Friday. After that, my after school treatment will be on the head of my parent and relatives. Or have you already agreed with them to make my punishment twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week?" "No Kimmie, we haven't agreed to anything like that at all. As a matter of fact, today after school I will call your mother and let you hash this out with her. As far as this morning is concerned, you will find your uniform washed, dried, and pressed waiting for you in the downstairs guest bathroom. You will also find all the things you need to bathe and make yourself ready for the school day. But first, you will come to the kitchen and have breakfast with us. Is it your wish to arrive like you are now, or will you let me re-dress you in the nightie and diapers?"

"I wish to go as I am Sister Alice."

So, I'm walked downstairs naked as the day I was born, put into the highchair and given my breakfast. It was a regular breakfast, but chopped and pureed like baby food. I was given a sippy-cup of milk and as soon as I was finished I was let out and led to the guest bathroom. I saw the urine filled baby bottle sitting on the toilet lid, emptied it and rinsed it out. Everything I needed was in there, brush; comb, toothbrush, toothpaste, and my entire uniform including the underwear and socks; all of which had been laundered and pressed like Sister Alice had informed me. I was surprised to see that my shoes had been cleaned and shined to perfection. When I was finished, I walked out and made sure I thanked the Sisters for what they had done with my uniform and shoes. I did ask for my paper that I had colored for my teacher. I would hand it in today just as it was. I wanted to hand it in just like the other kids in my class. I wanted to make sure they all saw it first of course.

Sister James answered me, "Sister Anne has your picture already Kim. We gave it to her last night."

"I wanted to hand it in like the rest of the kids Sister James. I'm sure they will be sharing their pictures with each other, I wanted them to see mine." "That will be up to Sister Anne Kim. Ask her in class today." That said, she walked me from the convent to the school. We walked past all the kids in the playground waiting for the bell to ring. The comments and teasing began almost as soon as they saw me. Oh, they were careful about not being overheard by the Sister that was outside watching them. I could tell what they were saying though, by the expressions on their faces. I saw my two young relatives and it surprised me to see them by themselves and not looking particularly happy. They looked sad when they saw me and averted my gaze. Once inside, I went directly to my classroom and asked Sister Anne for my picture. She refused to give it to me and handed me another uncolored one. She said, "Kimmie, I want you to color this one for me. No one is ever totally alone child. Everyone can have Jesus if they only ask Him to come into their lives. He is the light of the world Kimmie. Somewhere in that black butterfly there should be at least a speck of light, a small hope of light and maybe a sign that this black butterfly has a chance to succeed or has it already given up all hope?" I said nothing in reply to her; I did take the new paper and went to my desk.

She did have a point. It would be about five more minutes before the bell rang. I decided to be creative with the caterpillar using the eight colors in my crayon box.

The caterpillar was outlined in black. I filled the body with blue and added to it by drawing a pink baby girl's dress with puffy, ruffled panty covered diapers. I thought about what words to add to that page now that I understood and felt differently from the first time I had colored this same picture. I wrote, "Blue by birth, altered by a mistake and punished by all." I knew how I wanted to color the butterfly, but no time remained so I just added the words I wanted. I wrote, "Blue Within, Covered With Others Unforgotten Memories Of The Caterpillar."

The kids filed in as soon after the bell rang. I did not look at any of them as some filed past me to their desks. The giggles from the girl's and the grunts made by the boys as they passed by me were the sounds I expected. Nothing else happened until the first bathroom break. I went into the boy's restroom and it started immediately by a few of the older boys. They were mad about the paper they had to write and have signed by their parents. It was my fault of course, and I had to agree with them and did. I said, "I know it's my fault, but it wasn't me who gave you the paper to do."

I was pushed, but not punched. I was made to wait to use the toilet. They held me back until the last one was ready to leave. I heard all the threats and insults spoken in mean spirited whispered voices. I went into a toilet stall and did my business. I returned to the classroom, the last to arrive back and avoided looking at anyone. Sister made us work in two groups having one boy and one girl pick for each group. As expected I ended up as the last pick and ended up being with the girls. That is how they picked the groups. The girl picked girls, and the boy picked boys. I was the odd one out and was the last pick for the girl. All I heard were groans from the girls and laughter from the boys. As I knew it would, my punishment began as soon as I stood up and took responsibility for my actions. Should I now choose the other choice I was given? No, that would only cause more trouble for those I love, even though they no longer loved me. Life in a reform school and having a felony record would be a fatal mistake on my part. I know I would never survive reform school being my size. I would fight back only to be beat up and killed by the much larger and meaner boys there.

The group activity today was for each group to plan a picnic. We were to plan it out from when we were putting it together for a drive to a park, all the way until we loaded up the car to drive back home. Of course arguments erupted when it came to the food and drinks to take. I kept silent until I couldn't take them missing the obvious. I said, "Look, first we need to dress for a picnic." They took it from there and decided on pullover shirts, shorts and sneakers. Of course the most popular of them said, "Oh, we need a change of diapers for our baby girl Katie."

That got them giggling and all agreeing. I said, "The picnic is for today, not for Monday. Monday is when I begin my punishment, so forget the cute remarks for now and save them for Monday when I'm dressed up like you want me to be. Okay, were dressed to go, now what do we need besides food to bring with us?" They took off again and finally decided to be general about it. Games to play; blankets, table cloth, paper plates and cups, plastic forks, knifes and spoons. "Okay, now for the food. I suggest something simple to make and eat and easily cleaned up afterwards."

They decided on sandwiches, Kool-Aid, chips, and cookies.

"Now for the clean up, what do we need for that?" They said baby wipes (that got giggles) and a large garbage bag. We looked over the list and they thought that they had got it all when I said, "You want to drink warm Kool-Aid?"

They added an ice chest and ice cubes to the list and we were through. Of course Sister Anne had been walking back and forth listening in on the two groups. We won hands down! The boys had a huge list of food which was ridiculous; they didn't even pick what they were going to wear! Nothing for clean up and just a baseball and bat to play with; they were mad and embarrassed when they realized what they had done as a group. Especially when Sister Anne pointed out that they didn't allow naked little boys to picnic in the park. The girls really laughed then and Sister Anne chuckled right along with them. A couple of the girls thanked me for helping them. The others just shook their heads as we took our seats once again. Lunch time loomed and I was getting nervous.

The lunch bell rang and we lined up to go to lunch in the cafeteria. My parent neglected to have my two young relatives bring me a lunch so I hung back as Sister Anne led them all out. I sat down at my desk and colored my butterfly picture. The wings and head I colored black with the antennae outlined in yellow and extending out like a flashlight beam searching the way ahead. Once again I added the pink baby girl dress and the diapers covered by a frilly ruffled covering. Yup, that said it all. At the very top where your name is supposed to go, I wrote on both sides, "Monday's, little baby, girly-boy, Katie" I walked to the window and watched the cars drive by. I watched the people walking or driving to lunch from the different businesses and to the restaurant across the street. Mothers and their babies or with pre-school children being carried, pushed in strollers, baby carriages, or walking while holding their hand. I only saw two little girls dressed up nicely. The rest were dressed in little short sets or simple sundresses. Only the one little girl had the frilly ruffled diaper cover on. So I was to be a show piece and attract attention as that little girl that was dressed so nicely was attracting attention by other ladies, mothers and couples. I was lost in my own thoughts when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. It was Sister Alice and she said, "Come along Kim, time for lunch child."

I walked with her to the convent, as the few kids on the playground who had hurried through their lunches watched my progress all the way there. I was served my lunch by Mrs. Lopez. She had moved the little chair and table to a corner of the kitchen. I said. "Gracias, Mrs. Lopez," and she smiled real big and lunched into a fast spoken stream of Spanish. She gave my cheek a kiss just before I sat down and served me Tomato soup and a tuna fish sandwich, with a regular glass of milk. No sippy-cup this time! She did tuck the large cloth napkin into my shirt collar. It even covered my entire lap. When I was done eating, she added a slice of cherry pie to my plate. It was very good! I thanked her in Spanish once more and earned another kiss with a hug. She scooted me outside and told me to "Go play" as I slowly walked back to the playground. I decided at the last minute to change direction and go into the church. I went all the way up to the rail this time and knelt to talk to Jesus. I won't tell you what I talked about because that's private between me and Him. Father O'Hare was there preparing for a special service. He saw me and smiled. I smiled back and wondered if he knew who I was; probably not because he smiled at me. I stayed and added a few of the standard prayers until I heard the end of recess bell ring out. I got up and turned to leave and saw Sister Alice standing there with my two youngest relatives. Once we were out of the church she had us follow her to her office on the second floor of the school. Once there we each sat in chairs and she said, "I think you three should talk this out. After talking to each of you, I think Kim needs to hear what you have to say girls." With that said she left her office closing the door behind her. My two relatives just looked at each other and Lucy started, "Kim, we feel real bad about all this. We just want you to know that we won't treat you any different no matter how you are dressed. And were sorry for telling some of the other girls that it was you they saw at the store. That was really mean of us and we are really sorry."

Lillie said, "Kimmie please don't think we don't love you anymore because we do. I want to tell you something that Auntie Judy doesn't want you to know. The first is that she went out and bought you the new X-Box you wanted and two games for it. The bad thing is, you won't be getting it until your punishment is over. The other thing is they redid the old storage room into a nursery. Auntie Judy and our mommy went out and bought baby furniture and a bunch of other baby girls stuff for you. That's what they are doing that's taking them until Friday to set it all up. Lucy and I are planning things to make it better for you though. Whenever we can we will take you with us so you can do regular stuff and get out of the baby stuff."

"You mean I can dress as a boy too?"

"Um, no Kimmie, we can't do that, but we can get away and do other stuff." "Oh, you mean for me to go somewhere else dressed up and wearing diapers so others can see me and humiliate me even more."

Lucy got a little mad and said, "No Kimmie and stop saying things like that! We mean we can get away and play in the woods by ourselves or go up to our room and play. We can go in the back yard and do other stuff too." "Oh, but you know the other kids are going to be hanging around your place to just try and see me and pick on me some more. They will be waiting for me to try and leave to go somewhere else. I think I will just stay inside and wait it out. You two go out and have fun. I can't see me enjoying doing anything outside wearing fancy baby girl outfits and diapers do you?" "We can try Kimmie! You can't just stay inside all the time, you'll go crazy!" "Oh yes I can. Anyway, I'll have to go to the store and stuff to earn all that money I owe. That will be enough of getting out for me. Everyone is going to show up to see the boy in baby girl's frilly dresses and diapers. It's no secret anymore; the story has gotten around already. They won't be there to buy the dresses because we look cute in them anymore. They will be there to pick on me and make sure I'm humiliated. I want to say that it does help that you two don't hate me and won't be picking on me. Even though it hurts real badly that my parent doesn't love me anymore or that my aunt hates me now." "Mommy doesn't hate you Kimmie, she loves you!" "Oh sure, that's why they are having so much fun spending all that money so they can humiliate me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. All that because they still love me! BULL CRAP! If they loved me, they would be there to help and support me getting through going to school dressed up like that. Not to add to it! No, they don't love me at all anymore, nothing you can say will change that fact you two. Why don't you two ask for the X-Box? That way you can enjoy playing it. I don't even want it anymore. My parent can save her money. I don't want anything from them anymore! I'm giving you both all my stuff and you can do with it as you like. All I'm going to do is study hard and go away to college as soon as I can. If I can't do that, as soon as I'm out of high school, I'm going into the Navy Seals like my daddy did."

Lillie said, "Don't say things like that Kimmie! Your mommy loves you and so does our mommy! What you did was a real bad thing and they want you to remember that and never, ever do anything like it again! That's why they are doing this to you!"

"Never mind Lillie, its okay really. I understand what they really want. I look pretty as a baby girl and they sold a lot of stuff because I was wearing it. That's why they want me to keep wearing it wherever we go. Every time somebody stops and says what a pretty baby girly-boy I am they can sell another outfit. I just hope they sell a lot of them so I can dress as a boy again soon. Even though everybody will always remember when I was the pretty little baby girly-boy and never let me forget it either. They will always remember and always bring it up. This punishment will never end, only the dressing up part. I'm not even sure that will ever end now. Look at all the money they spent on all the baby furniture and baby girls stuff. They even redid the old storage room into a nursery. You think they did that for only a few weeks? I don't believe it. You see, they really don't love me anymore. Anyone that loves somebody wouldn't do all this to humiliate them for so long! Nope, we are still friends and I love you both, but those two can go pound sand now. I will never forgive them for what they are doing to me. Did you know they even had the Sisters treat me like a baby girl last night! My punishment isn't supposed to start until Monday at school! Oh, but they had the Sisters diaper me in front of all of them and then put me in a crib and even use a highchair to eat out of! I even had to drink from a baby bottle last night! All thanks to two people who are supposed to love me? NO WAY! I know what Sister Alice told me and I think they enjoy making me into a baby girl because they did it all afternoon the day before they even knew I did that prank! Sister Alice and Mrs. Pennington gave me enemas and diapered me. Then they put girly rubber pants on me and that girls undershirt you saw me in. The other Sisters even did my nails and hair and even the ribbons on my socks. All before they knew I did anything bad. My so-called mother and so-called aunt added to that as soon as I got to the store. Then you two made me wet myself! I forgive you though; you don't really try to be mean to me. It just turned out to be really mean what you did. That and to tell the girls at school that it was me who was dressed up like that. Do you know that's how they got the idea for my punishment? So, don't try and help me anymore okay, all you are doing is making it worse. Just leave me alone and let me be by myself until the dressing part is all over!"

That's when I got up and ran from the room and back to the church. I didn't want to start crying in front of anyone like I was crying right now. My cousins may not hate me, and maybe they do still love me, but they sure do show their love for me in weird and hurtful ways. If that is what love is, I don't think I want any love!

I make it back into the church and see that some grown ups are there. It's that special service. I sneak up to the choir loft and just think about things more thoroughly. My talk with my two cousins started me thinking even deeper about all this. The Sisters want me to be a baby girl too! They sure did have a lot of fun with me the other day! They are supposed to show that special love Jesus talked about. I don't see it now that I think about it. Sister Alice sure used my fib in the toilet against me by saying she didn't smell anything. She didn't have to say that or have Mrs. Pennington do that to me. It was her who really started it all, her and Mrs. Pennington! Then the other Sisters, and finally my parent and he sister and then, even my two cousins. Jeepers, I really can't trust them either. How can you love somebody and make them wet on themselves? How can you love somebody and tell some of the school girls that it was me dressed up like that? No, I don't want their brand of love either. That isn't love at all! That's just plain being mean. This is even worse than I thought it was and I knew it was really bad! So, now that house has a bunch of baby girl stuff and furniture in it. All just because they love me so much! Okay Jesus, what and where is that love you talked about? I don't see it anywhere, not even with your servants the Sisters! What is all this about forgiveness? You really mean forgiveness after your punished and then only you do the forgiving, at least that's what your servants told me. Is it true? You forgive the sinner if they ask you for forgiveness and do a penance for their sins? What penance and how much of a penance? Okay, well you are all I have now, so I better believe you. Like Sister Anne told me, there is always hope and I'm never really alone if I have you. Will you be my only friend Jesus? Can you still love me with that pure love of yours? I hope so Jesus, because you are all I have left now. You suffered on the cross for all our sins, so I guess I can suffer being treated like I am. Nobody is hammering nails into my hands and feet, but it sure does hurt badly enough. Nobody is going to make me die like they did you, but maybe death would be better than having to live like I'm going to have to live. If I did die, then I could be with you, my only real friend that loves me. I will leave that up to you though Jesus. I will suffer for you, but nobody else. Well, maybe for other kids suffering because their parents hate them too. Thank you for being my friend and still loving me Jesus. Don't ever go away because I bet there are a lot of people that only have you for a friend that loves them.

I shouldn't still be crying! I can't keep crying like this, but my heart really hurts now. I guess I'm even in more trouble for running into this church instead of going back to class. But I have to be able to talk to my only friend and be loved a little bit by somebody. I think Sundays will be my recharge day. Just so long as I can visit you here Jesus I know I still have one friend who loves me. Thank you Jesus, I will try and get back here whenever I can to visit you. I got up and walked back down to the main part of the church and made my way back to the school. I opened the door and walked the length of the empty hallway to my classroom. The door was closed, I opened it and everyone was staring at me as I went and sat at my desk. Sister Anne smiled at me and said, "Now class, we can work on writing our letters and numbers. Print them first and then write them. Kim, please report to Sister Alice's office." Oh great, here it comes. I get up and here a few snickers and whispered comments. They know I'm in for it as well. I go out in the empty hallway again and make that extra long walk. It always seems like it is longer when you are walking on your way into more trouble; up the flight of wide stairs, and straight to the end of the hallway to Sister Alice's office. I walk in and am told to sit and wait by her secretary. I wait for a long time and then the door opens and I am called inside. I'm made to stand in front of Sister Alice's desk as she peers down at me and says.

"Alright Kim, where were you when you should have been back to class?"

  

  

  

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