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This story contains scenes of EXTREME VIOLENCE, mature subject matter and deals with alternative lifestyles. If you are not comfortable with these concepts and materials, STOP reading NOW. If you are under the age of seniority and consent where you live, or if these types of materials are illegal for you to read, possess or download, you must STOP reading NOW and you may NOT download this story. If you are very religious, this work will probably anger you. Do not read it. Do not download it. Hello, nice to see you, GO AWAY. You'll be more comfortable at http://www.disney.com please go there instead of here.

 

Midnight Downloads
by Wendy-J
Wendy-J@KimEM.net
© 1999-2004 Wendy-J All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized distribution or archival prohibited.

 

Part-21
Thursday Night September 10^th

After pulling their clothes together and fixing their makeup as best they could there in the car, Sam and Tina traded seats and then Tina drove to an all night filling station so they could get cleaned up enough to go home.

"Tina, would you get the key to the ladies room please? I don't think I should go in there like this. I don't want to start a scene."

"Huh? Oh…your face. Sure…be right out."

Tina returned to the car with the key, only to find Sam missing. "What the…"

"Over here!" Sam called from the Ladies room door. She was all but hopping from foot to foot. "Hurry it up, will you?!?"

Tina giggled and trotted over to the dancing girl. "Wha'samatter? Gotta go?" she teased.

"Just open the door, will you?!?"

"Sure," Tina said with a giggle.

Once inside, Sam dodged into the stall while Tina started to work on her face.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta know something. Will you try and be honest with me? Please?"

"I'm always Hon…"

"Please, Sam!" cried an exasperated Tina. She was trying to wash her face in the small sink and looked like she was ready to cry.

Sam emerged from the stall, fixing her skirt. "Okay, Honey, I'll try."

Grabbing some paper towels and rubbing at her face, Tina began, "Back in the car, when I said I loved you?"

"Yes."

"I meant that, Sam."

"I know you think you do…"

"No, Sam, I mean it."

"Tina, you…"

"WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!?" Tina screamed at the top of her lungs.

Shocked, and more than a bit discomfited, Sam clamed up and stared open-mouthed at the exasperated girl.

"What makes you think I don't know what I want out of life? Sure, I have to decide if I'm going to be a boy or a girl, but that doesn't mean I don't know whom I want to share my life with! I've NEVER felt the way I feel now about ANYONE before. I know you think I don't know what I want out of life, but I do know one thing: I - Love - You! Not some guy or cheerleader -- you.

"I've always felt close to you, and…I always liked being with you, but…since all this mess started, I never realised just how much I really loved you until that day you showed up at our back door. When you came in all beat up…Mom had to restrain me. Did you know that?!? I was on my way to your parents' house to do I don't know what to that asshole of a father of yours. It was then that I knew just how much I loved you. I don't want to live my life without you, Sam. As a man, or as a woman, to a man, or to a woman, I don't care! I Want You. You, do you understand? You…" Tina broke down in tears as she trailed off.

Sam was so shocked at the outburst that she just stood there for a minute and stared. Then she started to cry, too, and grabbed Tina and wrapped her into her arms.

"I know you do, Honey, I know you do. I'm just so scared," she sobbed into Tina's hair. "I'm scared."

"Su…su…so am I. Why can't you accept the love I feel for you?"

"I don't know, Tina," Sam sobbed.

After a good long cry, and a fight over mirror space in the dimly lit restroom, the girls managed to make themselves presentable enough to go home and face their parents.

As Tina pulled up in front of the house, Sam asked, "Are we on time?"

"Just…it's five till."

"Talk about tight."

Just then the front door opened and Donna and Janice could be seen inside the storm door. "There's the reception committee," quipped Tina.

"Ready, Freddie?" Sam asked.

Tina winced and then said, "Lead on, McDuff!" And the two exited the car, got their purchases from the trunk and strolled up the walk, arm in arm.

The stroll they were using as they made their way up the sidewalk was the same zig-zagged walk Dorothy and her compatriots in "OZ" used to follow the "Yellow Brick Road." If it weren't for the fact that they looked like they had somehow become one person it would have been comical. Instead, it warmed Jan's heart to see them this way.

"I think they've reached a watershed," Jan said to Donna.

"I think you're right. So do we need to worry?"

"Actually, Donna, I'm less worried now than I was before. I think they're going to be all right."

For Jan, the night was a dream come true -- she had two children telling her about their evening out. For Donna, it was a warm and welcome first. Never before had Sam sat with her when she came home from somewhere. She'd always gone straight up to her room and retreated behind that guitar of hers. Donna could see things were definitely on the mend.

Jan and Donna rolled with laughter when they heard how Tina accepted a date with George without ever realizing she did so. Jan was shocked and pleased to hear about Tina's abilities with computerised music synthesis.

They called an end to the evening when everyone's eyes began to droop. "Okay, you two, off to bed with you!" Donna said. "You have school tomorrow, remember?"

"That's right, girls, hit the wooden hill! Move it!" chimed in Jan.

"Yes, Mo-therrr!" came the chorused reply.

Things were definitely on the mend.

**********************

Friday Morning September 11^th

Morning found the girls in the kitchen over coffee, again with Tina feeling the effects of her medications. Donna and Janice were vying good-naturedly for stove and counter space to make the girls' breakfasts.

"Sam, I don't know if these medications are worth it," Tina moaned.

Jan and Donna shot each other amused glances. The way Tina looked and felt this morning reminded them both of their own pregnancies. Each felt sorry for the girl, but also saw the humour in the situation as well.

"Have you had some toast yet, Honey?" Donna asked.

"No, Aunt Donna, I..." Tina stopped talking abruptly and made a mad dash for the powder room.

"Mom," Sam asked, "isn't there anything you can give her to ease it for her?" Sam stared woefully at the door to the powder room. She looked like she wanted to be in there with Tina.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Donna said, "but there's really nothing we can do for her. Her body just has to adjust to its new hormone levels. The only thing that worked for me was dry toast, coffee and time."

Sam looked in askance to Jan, but Jan just shook her head, saying, "The only thing that's going to help her is time, Honey."

Time seemed to stand still for Sam. She just sat and stared forlornly at the powder room door.

"Why don't you go see if she's all right? She's been in there longer than usual." Jan's wan smile was little comfort to Sam.

"Tina?" the teen called softly from the door. A muffled moan was Tina's only response. Sam slipped into the small room as Jan and Donna looked on.

Donna smiled at Jan.

"You know, Donna," Jan started, "I think we're going to have to get used to the idea that they're going to be together for some time to come."

"I know," Donna said, looking at the closed door. "Do you think we have anything to worry about?"

"If you mean pregnancy, I'd like to think Tina has a bit more between her ears than empty space. But nothing short of abstinence is 100 percent certain. We aren't going to be able to stop them if that's what you're thinking. We can prevent them from doing anything around here, but you and I both know that they'll find a time and place to do what they want, if that is what they want."

"The way my Samantha looks at your Tina, I can't see where there could be any other conclusion, Jan. So what do we do? Watch them like hawks?"

"Is that what you'd like if you were them?"

"No," came the sheepish response. "But I don't want any grandchildren yet either!"

"Neither do I," Jan chuckled. "I'll have a talk with Tina tonight after she gets home from the university. Do you want to talk to Sam, or shall I?"

"We've already had that conversation, Jan, but I think it's time we had it again," Donna said. "I'm not going to demand they leave doors open when we aren't in the room, but I'm not giving her free rein, either."

"I agree." Just then the powder room door opened and the girls emerged. Tina was leaning heavily on Sam's arm.

"I think someone's staying home from school today," Jan said.

"But how will Sam get to school?" Tina mumbled.

"I'll drive the Red Rocket! How else?"

"Just be careful, okay?"

Jan looked like she was going to have a cow. "She didn't even protest that Sam was going to drive her car!" she thought.

"I promise, Sweetie. You just feel better. Here, let me help you up to your room."

This time it was Donna's turn to look shocked. "Since when has she become so mothering?" was all she could think.

Once the girls were on the stairs, Jan and Donna both started to talk at once.

"I don't…" Jan started.

"I can't…" Donna tried to speak as well.

Instead of finishing their thoughts, both women broke out into soft giggles.

"I take it Tina doesn't lend her car to anyone," Donna finally managed.

"No, not even to me," came Jan's reply. "I take it Sam isn't quite the mothering type?"

"She's more like her father. You know, the 'quit whining and get with the program' type."

"I think we'd better have those talks as soon as possible then, Donna. This looks far more serious than I thought."

"Umm hmm. It sure does. I'll talk to Sam…"

**********************

"Here you go, Sweetie," Sam said as she got Tina to her room, "you just lie down and..."

"Oh no..." They both made a dash for the bathroom.

**********************

"I don't think Sam's going to want to go to school today," Donna was saying.

"I think you're right. She'll probably be calling the house every five minutes to check on Tina."

**********************

"Better?" Sam asked as she idly brushed a sweat-dampened lock of hair from Tina's forehead.

"Yeah, but I feel rotten."

"I'll go get you some toast. Do you want any coffee or tea?"

"Tea, please."

"Now I know you're sick. I'll be right back. Here's your trashcan in case you need it. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Uh huh…thanks, Sam."

**********************

"Is Tina okay, Sam?" Jan asked.

"She will be, Aunt Jan. She asked me to bring her toast and some tea up to her."

"TEA?" came the incredulous response from Jan. "Are we talking about the same Tina?"

"Yeah, I think she's really feeling it today," Sam said to Jan as she looked pleadingly at her mother.

"Yes, dear, you may stay home and take care of her. Your Aunt Jan and I already discussed it. As soon as you get Tina her tea and toast, why don't you come back down so we can have a little talk, okay?"

"Mo-the..."

"I don't want to hear it, young lady. As soon as you get done upstairs, you and I are going to have a little talk. I think it's about time you actually started taking those birth control pills you've been flushing down the toilet every month, too."

"You knew?"

Jan started to laugh. "Just what makes you think she wouldn't know, Sam? Get Tina her tea, I'll make her some toast."

"Yes'm."

**********************

"Ready for more toast?"

"Uh huh." Sam held the toast up for Tina to take a bite of it. Donna and Janice looked on in silent amazement from the hall. Sam had left the door half way open as per Donna's earlier demands, so it was just a matter of standing there and watching.

"I think they know, Honey," Sam said as Tina munched on the tiny bite she took.

"Huh? Know what?" came Tina's puzzled response after she finally swallowed the morsel. "We haven't done anything."

"That may be the case, Sweetie, but they know how we feel about each other."

"It shows, huh?"

"It shows," came Jan's voice from the hall. "Since when do you let someone drive your car without having a major fit and a discussion about safety?"

"And since when do you play 'Mother Hen'?" chimed in Donna.

Both girls flushed. "That bad, huh?" Sam asked.

"That bad." Donna said.

"Wow. I didn't realise I was acting like a mother hen."

"Mind if we come in?" Jan asked of no-one in particular as she walked into the room, not waiting for a reply. She took the chair by the computer and pulled it closer to the bed, while Donna took the one by the bed. "Look, you two, Donna and I know how you feel. We aren't going to be able to stop you from doing what ever it is you've been doing behind our backs, but we aren't blind, either. Neither one of us wants to be a grandparent just yet."

"So you, young lady," Donna started in, "are going to start taking your pills, as of today."

"And you are going to use protection," Jan said as she placed a box of condoms on the bed. "I know that those hormones that you've been taking are going to have an effect on things, but they aren't going to stop everything completely. Be sure you use your heads."

"Jan and I would rather you two waited until you were married before you started fooling around," Donna started again. "But we aren't so naive as to think you couldn't possibly wind up…in trouble. So, from now on, things are going to be a little bit different. Jan and I are not going to go around pretending to be the sex police. We aren't going to insist you leave doors open and always have at least one foot on the floor on opposite sides of the bed like all the old movies did. But we don't expect to have it shoved down our throats, either."

"Donna's right. We don't want to see you 'sucking face'…" Sam and Tina both winced at the rather descriptive phrase. "…at every opportunity and we don't want to accidentally hear you two going at it." They winced again. "As Donna said, we'd prefer if you two decided to wait. We aren't naïve, either, so please use discretion if you must um…engage in…er…"

"I think we get your drift, Aunt Jan, Mom."

Tina nodded her head in agreement.

"Would you believe us if we said we haven't done..." Sam started to explain.

"You've done enough for your Aunt Jan and me to notice you were up to something, haven't you?"

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Then I expect you..."

"I'll refrain from any activity that can possibly get me into trouble until I can get a refi…" Donna lofted a small, white, compact-like container to Sam. It landed squarely in her lap. "…ill..."Sam's voice trailed off as the container landed in her lap. She smiled ruefully and continued. "I promise."

"Well?" Donna asked.

Sam opened the compact, took a pill out, and swallowed it.

"Thank you."

"Now, you two," Jan started, "I'll call the school and tell them you won't be in today. That does not give you license to..."

"We'll be good, Mom, Aunt Donna. We promise."

"Sam," Donna said, "since you are staying home to take care of Tina..."

"You won't need to do anything, Mom. I'll take care of her. I promised, too, you know."

"I know, Sweetie, and I love you all the more. You two be good." And with that, both women stood and left the room, closing the door -- completely -- behind them.

**********************

"I think that went rather well," Donna said to Jan out in the hall, "don't you?"

"Yes, Donna, I do. I'll tell you something else, too. I'm glad Tina's dating Sam and not some other girl, or that Bradley Thorndike."

"So am I, Jan, so am I."

**********************

Sam started to giggle. "Do you believe them?" Tina, a greyer grey by the moment, just nodded her head. "Do you need to get to the bathroom again?"

"Unn…" Tina made a lunge for the waste basket.

**********************

The "only thirty minutes or so" of morning sickness that Tina'd been promised turned out to be a lie this particular morning. It wasn't until noon that Tina was able to hold down more than a slice or two of toast at a time. Donna and Sam were talking in the kitchen as they prepared a clear beef broth for Tina's lunch.

"Mom, was I this bad as a little girl when I got sick?"

"Not always, Sweetie; sometimes you were worse."

Sam blanched. "Worse?"

Donna started laughing. "Yes, Honey, worse. The croup, Chicken Pox, Measles, the Mumps… you had them all. Yes, there were times, I can tell you. Be grateful Tina isn't a demanding spoiled little brat."

"I never…"

"Sometimes you did."

"I'm sorry, Mom," Sam said as she hugged her mother. "Ohmigods!"

"What is it, Honey?"

"I just remembered! Tina and I have dates tonight!"

"You're just remembering that now? Do you have their phone numbers?"

"No! We just met them last night; remember? I never got any numbers; I figured we'd never need them. I had no intention of dating those guys!"

"Then why'd you accept the dates in the first place?"

"I didn't, Tina did, remember?"

Donna started to laugh. "Sam, Honey, you don't think…"

"She wouldn't…she couldn't. No, Ma, there's just no way anyone could get that sick…could they?"

"Stranger things have been known to happen, Sweetie. I wouldn't doubt for a minute that Tina is having a psychosomatic reaction to her date with George tonight."

"I'll ki..."

"No, you'll be understanding and supportive. Remember, you had a lifetime to get used to boys and dating or not dating. She's had, what, a week to get used to it? Give her a little leeway, at least for now. She can discuss it with Dr. Bennett when she sees him, what, tomorrow?"

"No, I think that her next appointment is next weekend. But I think we're going to discuss it today. I can't believe she got sick because she has a date!"

"Now, now, now, you don't know that for a fact, Sam."

"I'll bet it's true…"

"Drop it…JAMES!"

"Mu…me?"

"You were beginning to sound just like him," Donna said gently. Sam's hands began to tremble.

"Mom, I'm scared," Sam began to cry. She dropped the spoon into the broth, splattering the hot soup all over her apron, and then covered her face with her hands. "I don't want to be like him, Mom. I can't..." she sobbed.

Donna came up behind her daughter and, reaching from behind her, shut off the stove, then turned her around and pulled her into a hug. "No-one's going to be like him, Honey, I promise you. No-one has to be like him in your life ever again. Jan promised me she'd have the name of a good therapist today."

**********************

Once Donna calmed Sam down, she brought Tina her soup.

"Where's Sam?" Tina asked.

"She's lying down, Honey. Here, eat this."

"But..."

"Don't worry, she's just relaxing for a little while. She made this for you, you know. So why don't you eat it, okay?"

Tina smiled weakly. "She really made it for me?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, she made almost everything you ate or drank today. She stayed home to take care of you."

"She really does love me, huh?"

"Yes, Sweetie, she does. She was so worried about you… I think it's what made her so tired. What are you going to do about this boy you met last night? What's his name again? George?"

"Oh gods! I have a date with him tonight and I don't even have his number to tell him I can't make it!" Tina moaned. She grew visibly paler with the thought.

"Honey, do you think that you might be feeling ill because you have a date tonight?"

"I really don't know, Aunt Donna," she groaned. "Maybe I am. I never wanted to go out with him in the first place. I was so mad with Sam for flirting with Freddie that I never heard a word George was saying. I didn't even know I had a date with him until we were walking back to the car!"

"Do you think your friends at school would be able to get in touch with him for you?"

"I don't know; maybe. If they go to the rave tonight, they'll see him, I guess."

"Why don't I call them for you and tell them you can't make it."

"I'll still have to go out with him sometime, though, won't I?

"Honey, you don't ever have to go out with anyone you don't want to. That's completely up to you. It wouldn't be very polite to make a date, break it and never go out with him, but you don't have to."

Tina groaned again. "Oh, Aunt Donna…I can't do that. I just can't."

"I thought you'd feel that way, too, Honey. Let's worry about that when the time comes. Right now, you just eat your soup and try to feel better, okay?

"Okay. Aunt Donna?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"You're quite welcome, Sweetie. Do you have your little friend's phone number?"

Tina gave a half-hearted giggle at hearing her friends referred to that way. "Yes I do, Aunt Donna, in my book-bag by my desk. I have a phone book with all my friends' numbers in it. But, Aunt Donna?"

"Yes?"

"They're not exactly so little anymore."

Donna started to laugh. "I'm sorry, Honey. Old habits are hard to break. Of course they aren't so little any more. I'm just a lot older than I want to think about. Who should I call?"

"Rochelle. She'll make sure Leticia knows, and she'll tell George for me."

"You just finish your lunch and relax, Honey. I'll call them for you."

"Thanks."

Donna kissed Tina on the forehead, stood up, and then went in to check on Sam.

**********************

Donna knocked on Sam's door and peered in the room. "Hi, mind if I come in?"

"No, Ma. Come on in and have a seat," Sam said, patting the bed beside her.

"You were right about Tina. Even she thinks it might be a psychosomatic reaction to her unexpected date with George."

"She can't really be that unsure of herself, can she, Mom?"

"Put yourself in her shoes. She's never had a date with anyone but you. And all those dates were all with her in the boy's role. She hasn't been a girl for more than a week and she has a date with a boy she doesn't even know. How would you feel?"

"Scared sh… uh, out of my mind."

"You had it right the first time, Sweetie. She's so scared she can't even move."

"So what do we do about it?"

"We help take the heat off her and get her through it as best we can. There's nothing more we can do."

"But how? By breaking the date?"

"No, she's already decided to do that, but she also feels obligated to go out with him because she's already agreed to a date with him."

"Gods…Tina and her sense of duty. What a pain."

"I would have suggested it even if she didn't feel obligated to go through with it, Sam. You could learn a thing or two from her about responsibility, you know."

"I know… So how do we handle it, Ma?"

"First, we call her friend Rochelle and tell her Tina can't make it tonight. Since she feels she has to go out with this…this…George, we tell Rochelle that she needs to get his number so that Tina can call him for a date in a week or two…when she's feeling better. That ought to give her enough time to deal with her emotions and discuss them with her therapist. Does that sound okay to you?"

"You're a genius, Mom. Thanks."

"Feeling up to helping me with the dishes in the kitchen?"

"Sure, Ma. For you, anything."

**********************

By the time Three Thirty rolled around and Sam was reasonably certain Ro would be home, Tina was finally resting peacefully enough to be asleep.

"I'll call Ro for you, Ma," Sam said from the den.

"Honey, I told Tina I'd call for her, and I mean to do just that."

"Ro's my friend, too, y'-know."

"I know, Sam; and if you like, you may talk to her after I'm through."

"But..."

"But nothing," Donna said as she picked up the phone.

Sam opened her mouth to protest once more, but the look from her mother caused her close her mouth.

"Thank you, Sam. I'll let you talk to her as soon as I'm done. All right?"

"Sure, Ma."

"Hello? … May I speak with Rochelle please? … You're Rochelle? … My, such a lovely voice! Hello, Rochelle, I'm Sam's mother and Tina's Aunt. Tina asked me to call you today. She's really feeling under the weather and sorry that she won't be able to make it to the…what was it she called it? Oh yes, the rave. …"

Sam was standing beside her mother, stepping nervously from foot to foot, a pained expression on her face. "Why does she have to be such a June Cleaver?" she screamed to herself.

"What was that, Dear? … Of course not! She's in bed sleeping. The poor thing was sick to her stomach all morning. … You're relieved? Why should you be relieved, Rochelle? Is there something I should be aware of? … You're sure? All right, then. … And you won't mind getting this George's phone number for her? … Thank you, Dear. I believe my Sam would like to speak with you next. … It was a pleasure talking to you, Rochelle. Thank you again for your help. Here's Sam."

"AT LAST!" Sam screamed silently. "Hi, Ro? Sorry 'bout that, but you know Moms. …"

"Hey, no problem," Ro said, giggling. "I've got one, too, you know. So, what's it like living with June Cleaver?"

"You noticed?" Sam said, laughing. "I'll tell you some other time."

"She's still standing right there, isn't she?"

"Yep!"

"Gawd! Hey, is Tina gonna be okay? It's not because of Lee and the Wild Pair is it?"

"Nah, it's her date with George."

"Oh shit! Is she that choked up about it?"

"Yeah. She never even realised she agreed to go out with him! Can you believe it? She was fixated on me and my exchange with Freddie! She actually thought I was flirting with him!"

"Well, you were, sorta."

"Yeah, I guess..." Sam started to feel guilty. "Was this all really my fault?" she asked herself silently. "Hey, uh, Ro?"

"Yeah?"

"When you get that number from George, be sure and talk to Freddie. I want him to know that Tina didn't even realise she agreed to a date. Try and feel him out as to what George is like and all. Think you can handle that for me? I think I need to stay home and take care of her tonight."

"You'd better take care of her, Sam. That girl loves you like you wouldn't believe. She was so jealous of your talk with Freddie that I think she was contemplating taking him on!"

"I think she would have if it weren't for the way she was dressed, Ro."

"Daaaaamn! Listen, I gotta call Lee, then I gotta get some dinner. See you at school on Monday?"

"If not sooner. I'm working tomorrow in the back room at The Under-World."

"At the mall?!?"

"Yeah."

"What time you get off? I c'n meet you out front."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Girlfrien', really. See if you can drag Miss Tee out with you. We'll make a day of it."

"I get off at four. Can you be there?"

"You got it! I'll bet we find Lee there somewhere, too."

"Khuehle! See y'-then!"

"Bye, Girlfrien'! See y'-at the mall!"

"Do you mean to tell me you actually made some new friends?" Donna asked as Sam hung up the phone.

"Yeah, Ma. I really made some new friends. Some REAL friends, too, not just the kind who are your friends as long as you can get them a discount at work."

"Will I ever get to meet them?" Donna's voice had a pleading note to it. "I know why you never brought any of your friends home before, but…" Donna looked like she was about to cry.

"Only if you promise to meet me at the door with a kiss when I bring them home and serve us cookies and cow in the kitchen." The water works were starting again for Sam.

"Do you really mean that, Sam?"

"Yes, Mom, I really mean it. I do love you, you know."

"I know, Sweetheart, I know. But it's so nice to hear sometimes." They fell into each other's arms and had a good sniffle fit.

"Mom, I'm going to go up and sit with Tina for a while. Wanna come with?"

"You love her so much… You go up alone. You need your time alone together. I'll watch my soaps and get dinner going."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure…and I've never been prouder of you than I am today…Enigma. I love you Sam, Samantha, Samuel. Whatever you decide to be, I'll always love you. Now, go and be with Tina. You need each other."

**********************

Tina sensed, more than heard, the door to her room open and close as Sam entered the room. She took a deep sighing breath, almost as if she were sniffing the air, then went back to sleep.

Noticing this, Sam smiled, shook her head, then went over to the computer and picked up the keyboard and trackball. She brought them over to the bed with her, their extension cables snaking out behind her like two long grey ribbons, then snuggled in beside Tina. The way Tina seemed to snuggle up to her was pure heaven.

Sam was so engrossed in the story she was reading that she never heard Tina wake up. Her first clue was the warm hand pulling her tight to the body spooned behind her.

"Mmm…welcome back to the land of the living. Feeling better?"

"Did you really make everything I ate or drank today?" Tina asked, ignoring Sam's question.

"Mostly."

"Lunch, too?"

"Mm hmm"

"Why? Why didn't you go to school?"

"Like I'd be able to concentrate with you in the bathroom every five minutes."

"You wouldn't have known that."

"And like my mother would be able to answer the phone every three."

"Were you that worried?"

"No…that scared."

"Huh?"

"I've never seen you so sick. I got scared…and…and…and mad…and…"

"Mad?"

"Yeah…" Sam started to cry.

"Sam? … Sam! … Look at me, damn it!"

Sam turned over, but couldn't look Tina in the eye. "You guessed that my being sick wasn't just my pills, huh?" Sam just sniffled. "Will you look at me?!? Please, Sam."

"Tina, I got so mad at you I…" Sam started to sob. She kept looking down at her own chest, not able to bring herself to look into Tina's eyes. "…I wuh…wanted to hurt you. Mu…My muh…mother called me…James!"

"Oh gods… Sam, it's okay, y…"

"No it's NOT! I…I…I can't even th…think things like that! I duh…don't want to be like him! I cuh…cuh… I can't!"

"We'll get you into therapy… soon, I promise."

"Buh…"

"No buts, I promise."

"I wanted to hit you!"

"But you didn't. Don't you understand? You didn't."

"Buh…"

"Shhhhh. Just hold me. Don't talk, just hold me."

Never before had Tina felt so helpless or loved in her life. She just held Sam in her arms till she cried herself to sleep. Then slowly, Tina squirmed out from Sam's grasp, being careful not to wake the sleeping teen, donned her robe and slippers, then made her way to the kitchen.

**********************

"Well, look at what the cat's dragged in!" Donna said as Tina shuffled into the kitchen. "Feeling better?"

"Some. I'm worried about Sam, though. She's really shook up."

"Is she okay?" Donna asked, the fear evident in her voice.

"She's sleeping. She cried herself to sleep in my arms. That had to be the worst experience I've ever had."

"I know, Honey. When your mother called to check on you she said she'd made appointments for us with a Dr. Eileen Eastman. From what your mother said, she's supposed to be the best in her field.

"Good. I'm glad. I don't think I could stand a repeat of what I just had to help her through. Every time I think about it, I…" The barely controlled rage was painfully evident to Donna. Tina, seeing the expression on the woman's face, cut herself off. "I'm sorry, Aunt Donna, I…"

"No need to be sorry, Sweetie, I know how you feel. I feel that way every time I see those bruises on her face. I tried to stop him…so help me, I tried…"

Tina pulled the woman into a hug, stopping her in mid sentence. "I don't think I could manage to do this twice in one day," she thought. Tina was on the verge of tears, pleading for her to stop her self-debasement. Please, Aunt Donna. No-one blames you. It wasn't your fault. It really wasn't."

"That's so easy to say, Honey. Here, you sit down and let me get you a nice cup of cocoa."

**********************

By the time Jan got home, the emotional roller coaster of the day seemed to have come to a halt. Tina was staying home from her university classes as she was still a bit weak in the knees about leaving the house alone after her unintended promise to date George. Sam -- still unnerved by her brush with emotions that, until now, had been so totally alien to her -- was hanging around Tina like a moth about a lamp, and Donna had a complete seven course meal for them all ready to eat as Jan walked in the door.

"I'm home!" Jan called from the mudroom.

If it weren't for the fact that it was Jan -- a woman -- who was the breadwinner coming home from a day at the office, the scene would have resembled something from "Leave it to Beaver" or "The Danny Thomas Show". Everyone crowded into the small room to welcome the head of the household home with kisses and hugs.

As Jan and Donna slowly made their way back into the kitchen, Jan sniffed the air and started to speak to Donna quietly. "I thought I told you that you don't need to be playing 'Suzie Homemaker' around here."

"I know, Jan, but I can't seem to help myself. I need to be doing something while I sit around here, and…"

Jan stopped in her tracks before they left the room, closing the door to the kitchen. "Donna, as much as I appreciate all the help with the house, and the cooking, you really need to be taking some time out for yourself. Look at you! You have one arm in a cast, you just got home from the hospital yesterday…"

"I know, Jan, but…"

"Dr. Eastman said this might be one of the manifestations of the…"

"Please, Jan, not again, not now. We've had a very long day on that score around here."

"Tina?!?" The alarm and concern in Jan's voice were evident.

"No. Sam."

Jan's face went white as a sheet. "She didn't do…"

"No, I saw it happening, and I called her on it. She's spent the entire afternoon either crying or doting on Tina."

"It's just as well that I made those appointments for you two for Monday. Poor thing. Is Sam okay?"

"She'll be fine; she's just a bit shook by it all."

"Good, and as for you…I like to cook, Donna. That's why I had the kitchen done up the way it is. I'd like to think I'm allowed to use my own kitchen once in a while."

"I'm sorry, Jan, I…"

Jan gave her a brief one-armed hug, pulled the woman to her side, smiled affectionately, and said, "I know, Donna, I know. Come on, let's get in and eat that scrumptious smelling dinner before it's ruined."

**********************
The End of Part-21
**********************

Another Note to My Readers:
Re: Part-21

Some of the things in this part of the story seem contrived, almost as if the character is using a crutch to MAKE a scene work. Or that the character is being morose about something that they've done or not done, that you or I have complete control over. These are crutches, and they are facts, the facets of a life in a home with an abusive spouse, parent, or child. Let me explain…

There is a point where you see Sam get upset because she is starting to act like her father and is called on it by her mother.

The children do not know it's happening until someone makes them aware of it. After a while, they won't need someone to make them aware of the fact that they are behaving in such an abusive manner, but they still can't control it. After more time, they see it happening and they learn to stop it. Finally, after much therapy and behaviour modification, the reaction stops happening. This is the ultimate goal, and it can take years to achieve.

In Donna, the desire to stop the beating and the inability to do anything about it can and often does lead to this person's becoming a June Cleaver. The examples here are: "Here let me fix you a nice cup of cocoa," or "My, aren't your little friends just so sweet?" This person has been unable to stop the bad, so here Donna makes up for it by being the best "Suzie Homemaker" she can. It can be cloying in its sweetness and cliché relation to life. But it happens. It ain't pretty. These are outward manifestations of the abusive home. She can't stop being overly sweet and nice. She needs to make up for what she couldn't do. Save her child from pain.

Can the abused child become abusive?

YES.

If the reaction is pointed out before they actually hurt someone can or do they become so very morose?

YES.

Sometimes the children become so morose they commit suicide. For as bad as they can be, the children can also try to be good. Self effacing and self abusive behaviours can become part of their personalities.

In the case of Sam and children like Sam, it's entirely possible that they would hate their abusive parent's behaviour enough for them to kill themselves if they think they can't stop it in themselves. Especially if they managed to actually do something besides get angry.

The abusers are not proud of their abusive tendencies…at first. That comes much later. At first they hide them, becoming morose and apologetic after they've been abusive. Later in life, they're still apologetic, but they eventually become proud of their ability to control through fear, tyranny and pain.

In the case of parental abuse, it is something the child generally learns outside the home, at school, or after school. But the behaviour IS learned.

Child, spousal and parental abuses are things that must stop. The only way to stop them is to recognize the signs, and to take action. Ignoring it or saying "I don't want to get involved" are the worst things you can do, both for those involved, and for your own feelings of self worth. Learn the signs, and take steps. Please don't report a mother for slapping her child; sometimes corporal punishment is necessary. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse. Learn it and act on it. PLEASE.

Thank you for listening. I now return you to our irregularly scheduled story.

Wendy-J

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Continued in Part-22

  

  

  

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