Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much

by Teddie S

 

Part 3

Abby And More . . .

 

"What?"

"You started to tell me that, you liked Mat. But, that you really liked Kyla. What were you trying to tell me?"

"I . . . I don't know if I can now."

"Why?"

"I saw you and Gary, on deck, the last night of the cruise."

"What did you see?"

"You kiss him."

"He doesn't mean anything to me. I don't like guys."

"But . . . "

"It was just a one time thing. Something that just happened. He was nice, almost as nice as you were, with the Mark thing. And, he saw me as a girl, wanted to kiss me, and I let him."

"But, you're a guy. I didn't know you were gay."

"I'm not gay. That night I was Kyla, completely Kyla. Heart and soul. And, I felt feminine. Very feminine. Something just felt right, and it just happened."

"You're still Kyla. You haven't gone back to being Mat. Why?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No. After what you put Katie through making you Kyla, I just figured that you'd be back to Mat as quicky as you could."

"I don't know. It feels good. The clothes are soft, and comfortable. The heels are a bit much, but I got use to them. And, it was fun being treated like I was. Maybe I do have a feminine side. Now, what did you mean when you said. 'I like Mat. But, I really like Kyla.'?"

"I've always liked you. In fact very much. But, seeing you as Kyla, and knowing that Mat was still somewhere under there, did something. When Mark hurt you, I wanted to kill him. But, I knew you needed comforting more. That's why I stayed with you that night. I loved sitting there watching you sleep that night. When I saw you with Gary it hurt very much, and I figured that you were gay."

"Well I'm not gay. That was a one time thing. I kind of liked it, but I don't see me ever doing it again. But, why as Kyla?"

"I'm not sure. Other than . . . I saw your softer side. You were different when you became Kyla. At least I thought so. You seemed to be so . . . so vulnerable. So, soft. So, caring. And . . ."

"And?"

"And, someone that I could care for."

"Even as Mat?"

"Yes."

"But, you'd prefer my Kyla side?"

"Sometimes."

"I'm sixteen. Four years younger than you are."

"I know. But, you'll be seventeen in three months. And, eighteen in fifteen months. I can wait."

She knew when my birthday was.

I got up to go back into the house. And, as she got up, she took my hand, she pulled me toward her, while saying, "But, I can't wait for this." She pulled me close, and kissed me. Not a friendly kiss, but a passionate kiss. A lovers kiss. It felt really good, not like Gary's kiss of a boy kissing a girl. But, soft, sensuous, a girl kissing a girl. I held her close. It felt good. I could really get use to this.

We walked back into the house, and to where Katie and Pam were. Katie looked at us with a big grin, and said, "You both had better not let mom see you."

"Why?", I asked.

"Both of you need to fix your lipsticks. You're a mess."

Abby and I looked at each other, laughed, and headed to the downstairs half-bath. It's small, as we walked in, she grabbed me, and gave me another long kiss. Then said, "I just needed another one, before we freshened up."

I smiled at her, and kissed her. And, said, "Me too."

The next morning when I came down to breakfast, I was wearing a robe over my nightgown. Mom and Katie were already in the kitchen, and as we sat down, mom said, "When am I getting Mat back?"

"Ah . . . Soon. I want to go see Nan today. Maybe tonight."

"Maybe?"

"Katie went to a lot of trouble to bring Kyla about. Why waste it."

"Young man. You aren't beginning to like this too much, are you?"

"It's kind of nice."

"There's the other reason mom.", Katie said, with a grin.

I glared at Katie.

Mom said, "And, what's that?"

"There's someone that likes him this way, other than himself."

"Katie!", I said.

"Matty. She would find out sooner or later."

"Okay you two.", mom said, "What's going on? It's not a guy is it?"

"No, mom. It's not a guy.", I said.

"Abby."

"How did you . . . "

"Just watching you two last night for the short time that I saw you together. You couldn't take your eyes off each other. Not to mention the body language."

"Yes, Abby."

"And, she likes you as Kyla?"

"Sometimes. She said, that it brought out my softer side. She likes me when I'm Mat. But, Kyla was just better somehow."

"She's what? Three, four years older than you are?"

"Really three years and a few months."

"You be careful. People will get the wrong idea."

"Yes, mom."

Later on Katie and I went to see Nan. I was still Kyla, it would be awhile before the tan went away, and I'd need to get my hair cut. As we walked into Nan's room, she was sitting in a chair, looking fairly good for someone that had come close to dying. She smiled, and said, "Hi, girlfriends." We said, "Hi.", and each gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Nan said, "Still Kyla I see?"

I smiled, and said, "Yea. Kind of feels good."

"I was wondering. You put up a good fight in the beginning, but once everything was in motion you went along a little too easily. Are you over the Mark thing?"

"Almost. I still get jumpy when I see someone that looks like him."

"That'll happen for a while. I hear you got a real kiss from a guy."

I looked at my sister, and said, "Don't I have any secrets?"

"Not from me girlfriend.", Nan replied.

"It just kind of happened. He was really nice to me, so it just happened."

"Just happened. You were really feeling feminine. Weren't you?"

"The kiss kind of made me tingle. But, guys aren't my thing, and I really think it was a one time thing."

Nan smiled, and said, "Could be. Now, girlfriend what about you and Abby?"

I looked at Katie again, and she said, "Not me."

"Abby and I had a nice talk this morning. She spilled the beans."

I said, "Wait till I see her."

"Don't be mad at her. She needed someone to talk to. You have Katie, and she doesn't have anyone."

"What did she say?"

"It's a secret. Well, most of it. So, what's with you and Abby?"

I told Nan about what happened on the cruise, and then what happened last night. Then Nan asked, "So, do you think it's Mat she loves, or Kyla?"

"Loves?"

"That's the word she used."

"I don't know right now. Maybe it's a combination of the two. Or, maybe it's just Kyla. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know if I can put it into words yet. I've been around her a lot, and I do like her. It just feels good being with her. And, what I felt when I kissed Gary, was nothing to what I felt when I kissed Abby. I guess we are just going to have to see each other, and see what happens."

"Remember what mom said about being careful.", Katie said.

"I know."

We sat visited Nan for a while longer. And, as we were leaving the hospital, I asked Katie, "How can we bring Mat back? I promised mom he'd be back tonight."

"Easy."

"How?"

"We go see Aba, she takes the curl out of your hair, and we tie it in a guys style pont tail. Remove your forms. And, Mat, with a tan, and dark hair, is back. Then later on, we can get your hair cut, and back to blond. And, the tan will wear off. . . . What's wrong?"

She had seen the expression on my face change, to I guess one of sadness. I answered, "Nothing, I guess."

"Matty. What?"

"I guess, I'll miss Kyla. It was fun. And, I enjoyed it. I liked being a girl."

"And?"

"Abby."

"You're afraid she won't feel the same way about Mat, as she did Kyla. Aren't you?"

"I keep going back to what she said on the ship. That she liked Mat, but really liked Kyla."

"I know. I wonder about that myself."

"But, I guess I've got to find out."

"Love is a hard thing. And, if it's love, she'll love you for yourself, no matter if it's Mat or Kyla."

"I guess you're right."

Later that afternoon, Mat was somewhat back, but with dark hair and a tan. Mom was somewhat happy, but could still see a lot of Kyla. Both ears being pierced, feminine eyebrows, long fingernails, and some feminine mannerisms. Not to mention, I had forgotten to take out the brown contacts, and mom said, "Matty. Please go change your contacts. I want to see your blue eyes again. And, do something with the nails."

"Sorry mom. I'll be right back."

That evening, Abby and I were going to get together, and I was worried. I was worried, that it was Kyla that Abby really liked, or should I say loved. Katie helped me remove the nail polish, and cut them to a somewhat shorter length. Then, as I was leaving she said, "Matty. Take it one step at a time. She's seen, and been with, Kyla for the past few weeks, and now it's Mat. Give her a chance to get use to Mat again."

"I will sis. Thanks." And, I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I should have mentioned, that when Abby wasn't singing with the group, she worked part time for a book shop. And, I was meeting her at the shop at six. I walked in, she looked up from the counter, and said, "Can I help y . . . Mat?"

"Hi."

"I almost didn't recognize you."

"Yea. I'm almost back to my old self."

With a little smile, she said, "I don't think that will ever happen. I'll be done in about fifteen minutes."

"Okay. I'll just look around."

Awhile later, she walked up to me, took my arm, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said, "I'm ready to go."

I looked at her, and we just smiled at each other. Then she said, "I'm starved. How about going to a little place that I know of, getting a bite to eat, and just talking."

"Sounds good to me."

It wasn't much later, that we were in front of her apartment building, and she was getting out her keys. I said, "I thought we were going some place to get something to eat."

"We are."

"But, it's your apartment."

"Don't think I can cook?"

"No. I mean yes. But, . . . I just don't want you getting into trouble."

"Why would I get into trouble?"

"You're older than I am. And, I'm under age."

"Matty. I'd never do anything to hurt you, or our relationship."

"I know. But . . . "

"Honey. It'll be fine."

I thought, 'Honey? Now that's interesting.' Then, I said, "Okay. I guess."

We went into the building, and up to her second floor apartment. I'd never been here before, and she had it decorated very nicely. Of course, it was very feminine. She closed the door, looked at me, and kissed me. Of course, I just melted in her arms. "That was just to say hello.", she said.

"Hello."

"Can I do something?", she asked.

"Depends."

She reached behind my head, and undid what was holding my pony tail. She then, using her hands, straightened my hair out. And, said, "Feel better?"

"Sure does."

"Come help me cook."

A little while later, we were sitting down to a very nice meal. She can cook. While we ate, we just chatted about nothing in particular. I helped her with the dishes, and in cleaning up the kitchen. Afterwards we went into the livingroom, and sat together on the couch. She at one end, me at the other.

"Matty.", she said. "I wanted you to come here tonight, so that we could just be alone, and talk. I've had a lot on my mind since the cruise. And, there are some things that I just have to tell you."

"Okay."

"Back when I told you that I liked Mat, but really liked Kyla. What I was really feeling, was love for you. Not Kyla, and not Mat. But, for both of you. The two of you combined. For who you really are. Kyla brought out something in you that I'd never seen in a guy before. A soft side. A caring side. A guy not afraid to show his feminine side. Not afraid to cry. I've always liked you, ever since I first met you. To start with, you were the typical annoying little brother of a friend. But, as you got older, you became a friend. Someone who I enjoyed being around. It was fun having you at the rehearsals. You added a lot. You had some great comments, and ideas on how to improve the group.

"When your sister came up with the idea of you taking Nan's place, I thought she was nuts. But, watching you transform from Mat to Kyla was a learning experience for me. You fit right into the group when you finally relaxed. You could make your voice sound like a girls. And, your look was so feminine. It was fun seeing a boy learn to be a girl.

"When Mark did what he did. It tore at my heart, seeing you hurt that way. I just wanted to hold you, and you let me. I felt you relax in my arms. You apparently felt safe there.

"But, when I saw you kiss Gary, I was heart broken. I figured you were gay. But, after talking to Nan and Katie, I think you were just experimenting with your sexuality. And, you're happy with who you are."

We sat there, and just looked at each other for a few minutes. She then moved closer, and laid down with her head on my lap. I held one of her hands with mine, and stroked her hair with the other. This felt so good.

"Abby.", I finally said, "I had no idea that you felt this way. I've always enjoyed being around you. And, on the cruise, when you held me, it just felt so good. I did feel secure in your arms, and that help me relax. And, Gary was just one of those things. And, I know one thing, it won't happen again. I felt something the other night when I held you, something that I've never felt before. And, just sitting here with you, feels so good. Also, I'll be whoever makes you happy. Mat, Kyla, or who ever. Because making you happy, will make me happy."

We sat there in silence again for a few minutes, and I finally asked Abby, "Where do you see this going?"

"Matty. It will go wherever we want it to."

"You're not afraid to be seen with a younger guy?"

"No. In fact I'm very happy to be with a younger man. You don't mind an older woman do you?"

"No way. I don't look at you as an older woman. Just someone that I love being with."

"Matty.", Abby said, sitting up a little, and looking at me, "I know that this may be a little premature, but it's how I feel. I love you."

I smiled at her, whispered, "Abby. I love you, too.", and then kissed her. She sat up more, and we just held each other.

That night when I got home, Katie saw me, and said, "It looks like you had a good time."

"Huh?"

"The look on your face tells the whole story."

"What story?"

"You and Abby came to an understanding tonight. Didn't you?"

"Yea. Sort of."

"Sort of? Your hair's no longer in a pony tail. You have lipstick all over your face. And, you're smiling for no apparent reason. But, there's always a reason."

"Abby and I did come to an understanding. We decided our relationship will go wherever we want it to go."

"And, will it be Mat, or Kyla?"

"It'll be whoever we want it to be."

"I'll bet you that she told you something else."

"That's our secret. And, remember how you owed me big time for the gig?"

"Yes."

"Paid in full."

I continued sitting in with the group, and singing as the fourth girl. Mom still gave me her famous, 'I don't like what you're doing. But, it's your life.' look. Abby and I went out almost every night after practice. Sometimes, it was just for something to drink. Sometimes, it was just for a walk. We also went to movies, swimming, and did other things couples do. And, I never did got my hair cut, I think Abby liked it long, but Aba did turn me back into a blond.

Two weeks after the talk that Abby and I had, Pam and Abby arrived for practice. And, Katie, who had been acting a little stranger than usual, said, "Guys, I've got some news."

We all just looked at her, and she said, "First, Nan's getting out of the hospital at the end of the week."

We all got excited with this news.

"And,", Katie continued, "she's going to be staying here for a few weeks, until she can get around on her own."

My only comment was "Cool!"

"And, that's not all.", Katie said, "We have another gig. It's with the same cruise line, but a bigger ship, and with the guys from The LDG Band will also be there."

I looked at Abby, she looked at me, we both looked at Katie, and I said, "Nan's not going to be ready to do this gig. Is she?"

"I know. We need Kyla again.", Katie said.

"No way. Not again."

Abby took my hand, and whispered, "Why?"

I whispered back, "Gary."

She looked at me a little puzzled, and asked, "What's with Gary?"

"I'll tell you later."

She didn't say a word, but got up, took my hand, led me out of the room, and into the backyard.

"All right. It's later. What's with Gary?", she asked.

"When I last saw him on the ship, I told him that I'd write him, and I never have."

"So."

"I think I owe him an explanation."

"Why?"

"To be fair to him."

"Why?"

"I figured that I'd never see him again, when we left the ship, and I think he felt he had a chance with Nan. He saw us walking on the deck that one day, and asked if we were lovers. And, I told him no. I think I should tell him that he was right, that you and I are an item. And, that I'm sorry for leading him on."

"So, you're worried about seeing him again. Are you afraid that you're going to fall for him?"

"Abby! No way. You know, you are the only one in my life."

"So, why write him. Why not just tell him to his face?"

"I . . . I . . . I don't think I can face him if he doesn't know. I just want him to know ahead of time, if I decide to do this gig."

"If you decide to do this gig? We need you."

"I know."

"Please do it. I do understand your need to tell Gary. And, I agree, it would be better if you do it in advance. I was just worried."

"Worried, that I still like him?"

"Yes."

"Abby. I like him. But, as a performer, and a person. I love you. And, only you."

She kissed me. And, I asked, "Will you help me write the letter?"

"If you want me to."

"I'd like you to write it for me. I don't think my handwriting is very feminine. But, I think I know what to say."

We walked back into the practice room. Pam and Katie looked at us, and Katie asked, "Is everything all right?"

With a smile, Abby said, "Yes. I just need to persuade Kyla to come on the cruise with us."

"You'll do it?", Katie asked me.

"Yes. As long as, mom doesn't get mad."

"Don't worry. I'll talk to her."

Mom wasn't happy with her son becoming her daughter again. But, she understood. And, it wasn't long before I was back seeing Mary Ann getting waxed and tanned, seeing Aba getting my hair done, and Penny getting my nails done. Then of course there was the brown contacts, the breast forms, and the special panties. Aba dyed my hair mahogany brown again, then did my hair in small tight braids with beads. It hurt a bit while she was doing it. But, it looked fantastic when she was done. Kyla was back, and it was almost too easy.

Abby and I sat down, and wrote Gary a nice letter explaining the relationship between Nan and Abby. And, that I was really sorry that I had led him on during the cruise. Abby had me add, that I really liked him as a person, and that I hoped that we could still be friends. I almost had her sign it Kyla, instead of Nan.

We continued doing things as a couple, but a girl and girl couple. Abby was different, but in a nice way. She treated me like a girl. And, our necking was like two girls. Soft and sensuous. We were careful to never go father than heaving necking, and it was hard on both of us. It became very interesting when Abby started teaching me how to do my own makeup. She showed me everything from a day time look, to a really glamorous night time look. I never realized that there was so much to it. We also went shopping, after she said that I had to stop borrowing Nan's, Katie's and her clothes, and get my own. I think we broke the bank that day. As we carried my new things into the house, my mom saw us, and just shook her head.

One of our favorite things to do, was to go swimming, and Abby wanted to go. I wasn't too sure about going swimming as a girl. I didn't have a girl's swim suit. And, I knew being topless, as a girl, at the lake wouldn't be taken to kindly by the management. So, Abby took me shopping for a girl's swim suit. We looked at one piece suits, two piece suits, and bikinis. Abby loved the bikinis, but I told her that they probably won't work. The top wasn't the problem, but the special pantie would show. The one piece suits were really nice. But, I found a two piece that I fell in love with. The top was a halter style, and tied behind my back, and neck. The bottoms covered the special panties just perfectly. And, I had to get a swim cap to protect my hair.

We went back to her place to change before going to the lake, and before I knew it, we were both in her bedroom changing. She changed in front of me just like I was really a girl, and seeing her naked body for the first time was, to say the least, mesmerizing. As I looked at her, I said, "Uh. Abby?"

"Yea?"

"Uh. I'm still Mat under all of this."

"Oh. . . . Yea. . . . Right. Oh well. Ah. . . . I forgot. I guess it's too late."

"Right. Too late."

"You're complaining girlfriend?"

"No."

Swimming with the breast forms, and panties was interesting. Then the two of us drew the attention of a couple of guys, and they started walking in our direction. Abby thought quickly, grabbed me, and gave me a very deep passionate kiss. I watched the guys out of the corner of my eye, they stopped, watched us, finally turned, and walked away. I figured that Abby would break the kiss as soon as the guys were gone, but no way. She was into this kiss, and it lasted a long time. Longer than any other.

"Wow. Where did that come from?", I was finally able to say when she came up for air.

"From the heart, lover."

"I guess."

Even though I was starting to build a collection of girls clothes, we again raided Nan's closet, but this time with Abby's help. Her selection of clothes was much better than mine. At least so far. We grabbed more cute outfits, including the low cut gold dress. Another dozen pairs of shoes. And, more jewelry. As we were lugging the items to the car, Abby's only comment was, "Girlfriend. You need to get more of your own clothes."

With a grin, I said, "You've already started working on it."

Two days later we were boarding the cruise ship. And, I was nervous. Not about being Kyla again, but about seeing Gary. I was hoping that he had taken what I wrote as it was meant. Katie and I were sharing one stateroom, and Pam and Abby another. Mom's orders. But, I figured that Abby and I would have our time alone.

The first night out, they had the usual big welcoming party. And, it was packed. The four of us hung together, and I looked for Gary. And, it wasn't too long before we saw each other. He, smiled, walked over to where the four of us were standing, and gave each of us a kiss on the cheek. We all talked for a little while, and he finally got me aside, and said, "I wanted you to know, that I'm not upset. I'm just glad that you wrote, and told me about you and Abby."

"Thanks. I was so worried that you'd be upset. I like you, and I'm really sorry that I wasn't up front with you."

"It's not a problem. Do you mind if I still dance with you?"

"No. That would be fun."

That went easier than I thought it would. Abby looked at me, I just smiled, and she smiled back.

This whole gig went fantastically. We performed to a full house every night. As I'd said earlier, Pam had written most of our original stuff. But, we also had other favorites that we did.

The third evening just before dinner, I saw Karen and Gary talking to the Cruise Director, and as they walked back to our little group, they both had very big grins. They sat down with us, Gary looked at Karen, and said, "Ladies before gentlemen."

Karen was looking happier than I've ever seen her, and she said, "How would you guys like to do this on a regular basis?"

Pam said, "You mean the cruise gig?"

"Yea. They like us so much, that they want us on a regular basis. All of us, the guys and the girls. They're impressed with the way we work together."

There was clapping, and squeals of joy. The reaction of the nine of us was nothing but pure excitement. This was the break that both groups were looking for. And, we found a room where we could celebrate in private, and Katie and Gary could give us all the details.

Katie told us that we would go on a cruise every other week. This would give us time to work on other projects. And, the money would be very nice. Then she said, "I explained something to the Cruise Director and Gary earlier today, and it's only fair to share it with everyone. The girls know this, but the guys doesn't. Nan here isn't Nan."

I thought, 'Oh God! She didn't tell them I was Mat.' I looked at her with a look of worry, and puzzlement. And, everyone was looking at me.

Katie went on, "Just before our first cruise together, the real Nan was involved in a car crash. And, it put her in the hospital for a while. Right now she's at my mother's house finishing getting well. So, we needed a fourth to fill in for her, or we would have had to have cancelled the gig. This is really Kyla, Nan's cousin."

I felt a great deal of relief.

Katie continued, "We were lucky that her cousin's singing voice was very close to Nan's. And, that she could come with us. The Cruise Director didn't have a problem with it, as the contract only mentioned four girls, and no names. And, she thought it was some fast thinking on our part."

Gary added, "From what Katie told me, the real Nan will be joining us in a few weeks. And, unfortunately Kyla will not be able to be with us much longer. She has other things to do. Now, lets go back out and finish dinner."

After dinner, Katie and I went back to our stateroom. After I closed the door, I said, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry. But, with Nan joining us, I had to come up with some kind of story.", Katie replied.

"I figured that you were going to tell them I was Mat."

"Sis, I'd never do that to you. And, Gary told me that he took your letter very well. He was disappointed that you and Abby were lovers. But, he understood."

"I know. We had a little talk. And, it was his idea to still dance during your solos."

"Great."

"Now. Just what other things do I have to do?"

"My little brother has to finish his senior year in high school."

"Hmm. I'm your little sister right now. And, it looks like it'll be that way until Nan can join you."

"You're right. Abby's going to be happy."

"Huh?"

"I think she really likes your feminine side!"

"Yea. I think she does."

"Too much?"

"Not as far as I'm concerned."

Katie just smiled. And, I asked, "Ah. What about mom?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. And, I'm not telling Nan or mom until we get home."

When we did get back home. We were sitting down to dinner with mom and Nan. Katie gave me sly smile, and said, "I've got some news for you guys."

"Good news?", mom asked.

"Oh. Kyla and I think so. Don't we sis?"

"We sure do."

"We've got a contract to do regular gig's for the cruise line."

Nan's eye's got as big as saucers. Mom sat back in her chair, and said, "Girls I'm so happy for you. You've worked for this for so long."

Nan was finally able to say, "Katie. That is so fantastic. It makes me feel even better. Wow! A full time gig on a cruise ship."

Mom finally looked at me, and said, "And, how much longer are you going to be a girl?"

I looked at Katie, then back at mom, and said, "I guess until Nan is well enough to join the group."

"And, no longer?"

"Maybe. I guess."

"What about Abby?"

"What about Abby?"

"Are you two still an item?"

"Yes."

"She still likes your feminine side?"

"Yes."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I guess stay Kyla for as long as Katie needs me."

"Afterwards?"

"I . . . I don't know right now."

 

"Matty. It's your life. Just finish school."

"I will mom."

A little while later, Katie and Nan found me in my room. Katie sat on my bed, and Nan on my desk chair. I looked at them, and said, "What's up guys."

"Not much. It's that Nan feels that you might need to do the next two cruises, maybe a third. She doing really well with her physical therapy, and thinks they might cut her loose in three or four weeks. The doctors are real happy with her progress, and she'll know more after her next appointment. Are you willing to stay as Kyla for another four or six weeks?"

"No problem."

Nan looked at Katie, and said, "I told you he'd jump at it. There was no hesitation in that answer."

"I know. I think he really likes being a girl.", Katie replied.

"Yea. Almost too much. And, he does make a very pretty girl."

"Hey, you two.", I said, "What are you up too."

"It's just that you do make a pretty girl. And, you do it very easily. It's like it's who you really are.", Nan said.

"So? I have two sides."

"Yea. But, they're becoming one. And, with the female side being the strongest, she's winning control."

"Really?"

"Yes. Look at yourself. You enjoy everything female. Do you want to become a girl?"

"What do you mean?"

"Breasts. A vagina."

"Surgery. No! I'm happy with who I am. Why the second degree?"

"We just wanted to be sure you were happy with yourself."

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be doing it."

"Good. Cause, guess what?"

"What?"

"We really want to add a fifth to the group."

"A fifth!"

"We've talked it over, and feel that we need a fifth. It would help balance us with the guys."

"Who?"

"You, girlfriend.", Nan said, "You helped make this group. You've added a lot to it. And, both Pam and Abby agree. We wanted to be sure that you'd be happy looking like a girl for a long time."

"You're serious.", I replied

"Yes.", Katie said, "Very serious. The only thing is, we need you to look more like your old self, than Kyla. We need you to become a blue eyed, blond, again. Want to do it?"

"Yea. But, . . . what about the relationship between Abby and Kyla?"

"Oh. Yea. I hadn't thought about that."

"We can probably come up with a story of some sort.", Nan said.

"Okay. What about mom?", I asked.

"That I've thought about. She knows that you've taken to being feminine, and love it. I don't think anything would surprise her right now. I'll talk with her, and see how she reacts."

"What about finishing school? I promised her."

"Hmm. Home schooling. How many more credits do you need to graduate?"

"Seven. I was going to take five of them this fall, and go part time spring to get the other two."

"I think I know someone. Remember Sally, who got in trouble with Jimmy?"

"Yea."

"She's a teacher now. And, I bet she would be willing to tutor you. I'll find out."

The next two cruises went along just about like the first two. My dancing had improved, thanks to the other girls. My wardrobe was rapidly growing, dresses, two piece outfits, bra and panty sets, shoes, earrings, and other jewelry. No more raiding Nan's closet. I had to use the closet in the spare bedroom at home for my guy clothes. And, all of this thanks to my sister, Nan, and Abby. Was I complaining? No.

Now, the third cruise was interesting. Nan went with us. And, she actually sang a few numbers, giving us a feel as to how a group of five would sound, and be received. And, it was great. So, it looked like Kyla had to disappear, to make room for Nan, and the new girl had to make an appearance. This was getting complicated.

After we got back home, everyone was excited about Nan finally being back with the group. But, mom was having second thoughts about me pretending to be another girl. She didn't want to see her only son as a girl any longer. Katie, Nan, and I sat down with her, and had a long talk about the group, and me as a girl. And, when I finally said, "Mom. I love being a girl, at least as much of a girl as I can be. I've found someone that can love me that way, and I love her. And, I really want to do this. I love singing with the group."

She wasn't completely happy, but finally gave us her blessing. And, told us that no matter what, she loved us. All of five of us girls. Though she asked me, what I've found out is the usual question that is asked of people coming out as either a crossdresser or transgendered, did I want to become a girl? My answer was, no.

Now, the fun started. We had to turn me into a blond, blue eyed, girl, with no hint of Kyla. The blue eyes were easy, take out the brown contacts. And, no more tanning sessions, but the body waxing continued. We went back to Aba for the hair. She started by cutting my hair into a shorter style, and turning me back into a blond. Penny redid my nails. And, Viv showed us some really good makeup ideas for a blond, and changed my eyebrows to almost pencil thin.

When the tanning had completely worn off, we went, and visited Tom again. We sat, talked with him for a little while, and we decided on smaller breasts. So, he fitted me with forms that were so close to my natural skin color, that it was amazing. He also came up with the special panties in the right color. Then as we were leaving, he said, "You know. . . . No. You wouldn't do that."

"What?", I asked.

"Well. You would look so good, if your lips were fuller, pouty. Kind of a sexy thing."

"How?"

"Well. The best way is with collagen injections."

"Injections?"

"Yes. Done by a doctor."

"I don't like needles."

"Just think about it. Here's a business card for a doctor, a plastic surgeon, that does it, and does nice work."

I took the card, and put it in my purse. On the way home, Abby said, "Oh. Nice, pouty, kissable, lips. You'd look so sexy."

"Quit kidding around. I don't need anything like that."

After we got my new look completely put together, I stood there, and looked at myself for a long time. Finally I turned to Katie and Abby, and said, "Something just isn't right."

They both looked at me for a while, Katie whispered something to Abby, and Abby nodded her head yes.

"What?", I asked.

"There is still too much Kyla there.", Abby said.

"Too much Kyla?"

"Yea. The hair, and eyes are great. But, the face is still Kyla. Same nose, same lips, just the same face, but now a white girl."

"So. The chance that the passengers on the ship have seen Kyla before is slim."

Katie said, "How about the crew, and the guys in the band."

"Oh. . . . Yea. I hadn't thought about them."

"The crew might not be a problem. They change all the time. But, the band is another thing."

Katie saw the tears well up in my eyes, and said, "Now. Now. None of that little sister. We'll figure out something."

"Yea! What? Tell the guys in the band that I'm really Mat, pretended to be Kyla and Nan, now I'm pretending to be some blond bimbo."

"Matty!", Abby said, "I don't want to hear any more talk like that. You did this to help your sister, and the group. And, it worked. For whatever reason, you've taken to being a girl, and want to continue looking like one. And, there's nothing wrong with that. The people that love you know, and they support you completely. I just happen to love you very much. And, I don't like seeing you come down on yourself."

I looked at her, said, "I'm sorry.", and started crying.

Abby walked over, and held me. She whispered, "Matty. It's going to be fine. We'll work something out."

"I'm just going back to being Mat. It was so much easier."

"Matty.", she whispered, "We'll do what you want to do. It's up to you."

Two weeks later, it was coming up on my seventeenth birthday, and the girls had just come back from a cruise. Mom was happy. I wasn't. I'd been Mat for those two weeks. I had been in the dumps when they had left, but was even more depressed when they got back, and Abby picked up on it right away. She talked with Katie and Nan, and then they talked with mom. And, it wasn't long before Pam was even here. I was just sitting in my room, depressed, and thinking.

It wasn't long before there was a gentle knock on my door. I said, "Yea."

"Can I come in?" It was Abby.

"Sure."

The door opened, Abby walked in, and closed the door behind her. She stood there, and finally said, "Hi."

"Hi."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

She walked over, sat next to me on my bed, and said, "You know that we all love you. Don't you?"

"Yea."

"And, you know that we all know that you're down in the dumps, and that it's getting worse. And, we hate seeing you like this."

"Yea."

"What's it going to take to get you out of the dumps?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do?"

 

I looked at Abby, smiled a little, and said, "To be with you all the time."

Abby smiled at me, shook her head a little, and said, "You're so sweet. I think that's why I love you so much. But, there's something else that you want. Isn't there? Something that you thought you could put aside, but can't."

"You know there is."

"You just want to sing with the group again. Right?"

I just nodded my head yes.

"And, to do that, you need to be a girl. Right?"

I just looked at her.

"And, you really want to be that girl. Don't you?"

I nodded yes again.

"Well,", she continued, "we all had a long talk, and agreed that you should get your wish for your birthday."

I just looked at her, with a questioning look.

She went on, "First. There is a great day spa over in Troy. And, we're going to give you a day there. Nan came through again, she called them, and explained the whole thing to them. And, they said that they would be happy to help."

"You . . . You mean. She told them I'm a guy that want's to look like a girl?"

"Yea."

"And, they didn't have a problem with it?"

"Not at all. In fact they told her that they have a few male clients who do this."

"Oh."

"What?"

"I don't know."

"Honey. You'll love it. They'll give you the full treatment. And, when you walk out, you'll look and feel like a new girl."

I felt something, kind of a warm feeling. And, I said, "You think?"

"Honey. You'll love it."

"All right. When?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"That quick. What's second?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"It's a secret.", Abby said, as she walked out the door. But, she turned looked at me, smiled, and said "Come on down, and join us. We miss you."

Two days later, I was dressed in jeans, a blouse, and a pair of trainers. I had kept my hair the length that Aba had made it, and was able to get it into somewhat of a feminine look. I had a little bit of makeup on. I was also wearing the special panties, and my forms. Abby and Katie drove me over to the spa, and walked in with me. Katie had a small suitcase, and a garment bag, but wouldn't let me see what was in them. They sat with me in the waiting room, until someone came to greet us.

She introduced herself, "Hi. I'm Nancy. I'll be your host for today, and will be taking care of all your needs."

Katie said, "Hi. I'm Katie, this is Abby, and this is Kyla. She's your client for today."

Then, as Katie handed Nancy the case and garment bag that she had brought, she said, "Honey, we'll see you in a few hours, and you'll feel fantastic."

"Not to mention, you'll look like a million dollars.", Abby added.

"You're not staying?", I asked.

"No. Nancy will take good care of you."

Katie and Abby both gave me a kiss, and left.

Nancy said, "Come on with me Kyla, and we'll get you started. And, you must have some really great friends. They've scheduled you for almost everything. We're going to be doing a deep Swedish massage, a full body waxing, an aroma therapy body wrap, a manicure and pedicure, a full facial, cut and style your hair, and of course your makeup. And, we'll provide lunch."

My head was swimming.

Nancy took me to a very nice dressing room, and then told me, "Completely undress, including your breast forms. Just leave your panties on. You'll find a robe and slippers in there, put them on. Then come back out, and we'll get started."

The next few hours were a blur. I did know that I was enjoying every little bit of this. And, talk about relaxing, I feel asleep during the body wrap. Nancy told me that it happens all the time. Each of the girls that worked on me was fantastic, and treated me like a lady. Even though they knew I wasn't. Lunch was fantastic, and all low calorie things.

Sometime in the afternoon, after almost everything was done, Nancy walked in with another woman, and introduced her. Nancy said, "This is Dr. Faith Newsome. She's a plastic surgeon, and is on our staff for consultations. Your friends had said that you might be interested in some work."

I just looked at them.

"Your friends also said," Nancy continued, "that you might be surprised with this. So, just let Dr. Faith have a look, and then you can talk."

I sat there, and let the doctor look at my face. She didn't say much, but smiled the whole time. When she was done, she said, "Well, I can see a few things that we could do to make you look prettier than you already are. I heard that someone has suggested collagen injections in your lips, and I'd suggest that also. But, I'd also suggest a little work on your nose, to make it smaller. And, some cheek implants to give you higher cheekbones. Other than that, you have a very feminine face, and I wouldn't change another thing. Any questions?"

All I could do was shake my head no.

"Here's my card.", she said, handing me her business card, "If you have any questions." And, she left.

Nancy asked, "You didn't know she was coming in did you?"

"No. It was a complete surprise."

"I wish I had friends like yours."

"They really are great, aren't they."

"Yes. Now, the last thing we need to do, is attach your forms. And, then you can get dressed, and see how you look."

She was right, I had no idea what I looked liked. There were no mirrors where I'd been, except in my dressing room. Nancy tilted the chair back, and carefully glued my forms in place. After the glue set, she applied some makeup around the edges. She'd done this before. Then she took me back to my dressing room, and said, "You'll find your clothes in the closet, your undergarments are on the dresser, and the clothes you wore in, are in your case. Come on back out when you're dressed."

I walked into the room, over to the dresser, and looked in the mirror. I just stared for a long time, my feminine side was back, and was she ever. They had done a better job than anyone else ever had. I looked around the room, and found the bra and pantie set. They were red satin. The bra was a demi cup, and when I put it on, it barely covered the nipples on the forms. The panties were high cut, with lots of lace.

I looked in the closet, and found a very pretty lined, dark red, leather skirt and jacket set, with a red camisole top. Sitting on the floor was a pair of knee-high black suede boots, with three inch clunkey heels. I carefully got myself dressed, and slipped on the boots. It felt fantastic. On the dressing table was a box that just said "Kyla" on top. I opened it, and inside was jewelry, a half dozen rings, a gorgeous pair of dangly earrings, and a great choker style neckless. I put everything on, looked in the mirror, and smiled. There was a knock on the door. I said, "Come on in."

The door opened, Nancy walked in, and said, "Your friends are here. And, they were right."

"Right about?"

"That you do make a very pretty girl."

"Thank you.", I said, with a shy smile.

"You even sound like a girl."

"Thanks. My voice has never changed."

We walked out to the waiting room, and Katie, Abby, Nan, and Pam were there with very broad smiles. And, all were very nicely dressed.

Katie said, "Hi sis. It's good to see you back."

Abby said, "Girlfriend. You look fantastic."

I walked over to each one, gave them hugs, and a kiss on the cheek.

Pam said, "It's really nice to see you back with us. I missed you."

Nan said, "Girlfriend. You look fantastic. Welcome back."

Katie said, "Sis. This is really you."

Abby said, "I love you. You look so great. Do I have my girl back?"

I whispered to Abby, "I love you so much. You are just so fantastic. Yes. I'm back."

I turned to Nancy, hugged her, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and said, "Thank you so much. You did such a fantastic job."

She said, "It was a pleasure. You were easy to work with. Be sure to come back, and see us."

"I will."

As we were getting into the car, I asked, "Why so dressed up?"

Katie said, "There are some great upscale places to shop around here, and also a great restaurant that we're taking you to for your coming out party."

"Coming out party?"

"We just thought that you'd like to celebrate Kyla being back."

We spent the rest of the afternoon hitting some very upscale shops. No one bought anything, but we had a great time shopping as five girlfriends. And, there were some very cute things, I think Abby and I will be back. We ended up at the Fireside Restaurant at about seven. We walked in and Katie told the mater 'd, we were the Linton party. He said, "Yes, Miss. The rest of your party is already here. Please follow me."

I looked questioningly at Katie, and thought, 'The rest of our party.'

She smiled, and said, "You'll see."

We walked into one of the rooms of the restaurant, and there was mom sitting at a table for six. She saw us walk in, and stood up. Looking at me, she smiled, and said, "Oh my. Kyla. You look so very pretty."

"Thanks, mom.", I said, as I gave her a hug, and kiss.

We sat, and had a before dinner glass of wine. I was still underage, but we had always had a glass of wine at home when we had a big dinner. We chatted about many things, including my day at the spa. Finally, I looked at my mother, and asked, "Mom. Are you really all right with this? I mean you always said, 'When am I getting my son back?'"

"Honey.", she replied, "The girls got me to see how unhappy and depressed you really were. Abby told me, that between the time they left on the last cruise, and got back, that your depression had gotten very bad. They helped me see that you were really more comfortable when you were a girl. So, we got together, and came up with a plan to bring Kyla back. But, you're not Kyla any longer."

Abby said, "Honey. We were so worried about you. I had found that Mat was almost someone from the past, and your feminine side wanted out. The spa was the beginning."

"That was so great.", I said, "But, not looking a gift horse in the mouth. That had to be expensive."

"Sis.", Katie said, "The group is doing very well. And, you helped bring that about. And, it was the least we could do for you."

"You guys are just so wonderful."

"There's more."

"More?"

"Yea. On this last cruise, there was a record producer, and he wants us to try and make a CD. But, without the guys."

"You're kidding! That's wonderful. But, without Gary, and the group."

"No kidding. Yea. They want just the girls. But, Gary has already told me that his group was having some problems with a couple of the guys, and he didn't think that they would be together much longer. But, we still want our fifth voice."

"That's sad about Gary's group. But, what about me still looking so much like Kyla?"

"Why do you think Dr. Newsome stopped in to see you at the spa."

"You mean, plastic surgery?"

"Yes."

I looked at my mother, and just said, "Mom?"

"Honey.", she replied, "Will it make you happy?"

"Ah . . . Yes."

"Then it will make me happy."

I looked back at Abby, and she just smiled. I then looked at Katie, and asked, "Who's paying for this?"

"You are.", Katie replied.

"Me. I don't have any money."

"Yes you do. Your cut from the group."

"But, I thought we spent all of that on the spa and the clothes."

"No. The spa, and the leather outfit, are your birthday gifts from all of us. And, I think that this is also another kind of birthday."

"Another kind of birthday?"

"Yes. The birth of your feminine self."

I sat back, looked at the five of them, and I got tears in my eyes.

Nan, who had been very quiet until now, said, "Kyla. I know those are tears of happiness. And, you're more than entitled to them. You've come a long way, and it's been an amazing trip. A few months ago, I would have never believed that Mat the boy could become such a pretty woman."

Everyone nodded, and smiled in agreement. Including my mom.

"Now.", Katie said, "We have one more problem."

I looked at her, and said, "Problem?"

"Yes. Kyla was a dark eyed, dark haired, dark skinned, girl. You are a blue eyed, blond haired, light skinned, girl. You need a new name."

Nan grinned, and said, "All right ladies. What's this blond bombshell's name going to be?"

I looked at Nan, and grinned.

Mom said, "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure mom.", Katie said, "You gave him the name Matthew."

"Well. We've always called him Mat or Matty. I was thinking that something along those lines might be good. I know he, sorry she, won't like Madeline. But, I think the nickname fits, and is very close to Matty."

"What?", I asked.

"Maddie. I know it sounds like a boy's nickname. But, I think it kind of fits."

"Maddie. Hmm"

Katie said, "I kind of like it."

Abby smiled, and said, "Maddie. That's nice. It fits her personality."

Pam, with a grin, said, "Hi Maddie. It's nice to meet you."

Nan said, "Happy birthday, Madeline."

I looked at my mom, and asked, "Mom. I've got to ask one more time. Are you really all right with this?"

With a smile, she said, "Yes, honey, I am. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. You are who you are, and you're Maddie"

As we were leaving, I gave each one of them a really big hug, and kiss. And, thanked them for everything that they had done. I was walking on air.

I went back to Abby's, with her and Katie. As we walked in the door, I grabbed my sister, and gave her another big hug, and said, "Sis. This was just such a fantastic day. I couldn't have wished for anything better. I love you."

"Maddie. I loved doing this for you. You seem so much happier."

I then turned to Abby, and just looked at her for a few seconds, then grabbed her, and gave her a very deep kiss. Then I said, "Abby, I love you so very much."

"Maddie.", Abby said, "I just love to see you this happy. And, I love you too."

"Do you two want to be alone?", Katie asked.

Abby looked over my shoulder at Katie, and said, "Sorry. We didn't mean to embarrass you."

With a grin, Katie said, "No problem you two. I guess I'd better get use to seeing two girls in clinches like that."

"You got it sis.", I replied.

Two weeks later I was waking up in Dr. Newsome's clinic. As I was waking up, I saw my mom, sister, and Abby standing next to my bed. Abby smiled, and said, "Hi love."

"You did great, honey.", mom said, "Dr. Newsome told us that everything went just fine. And, you'll be able to go home later today."

Abby bent down, and whispered, "I can't wait to kiss those sexy, pouty, lips of yours."

I tried to smile, but it hurt too much. Dr. Newsome had worked on my nose, and cheeks, and given me collagen injections in my lips. As I was being released, she told me that I'd be sore for a while, with some swelling, and bruising, but that it should be minimal. She gave me a few pain killers, and also said to make an appointment in a week for a checkup.

The week of my appointment with Dr. Newsom, the girls were on a cruise. Hopefully the last one without me. The doctor examined me, and was very happy. The swelling was all but gone, and the bruising was starting to go away. She removed the few sutures that she needed to. And, while she was working, we talked about a few other things.

The first night the girls were back, I was going to visit with Abby. When I walked into her apartment, it was the first time she had seen me since most of the swelling had gone down. She stood there, looked at me, got a smile, and said, "You really look great."

"I still have a little bruising. But, I'm happy with what she did."

"Me too lover."

I really miss Abby when the group's gone, and it was great just cuddling with her on the couch. I finally said, "The doctor and I talked about a few other things."

"What?"

"Oh. Breast implants for one. Hip and butt augmentation for another. And, hormones."

"Really! And . . . "

"She said that if I was really going to spend my life as a girl, that the breast implants would be for the best. It would help me feel more like a girl, and I wouldn't have to worry about the forms. The same with the hips and butt. I think the hormones would change things too much."

"In what way."

"I'm afraid that it would stop my male equipment from working. And, I don't want that."

"Me either. Do you want to do something like the implants?"

"I'm not sure. She said, to go that far I'd need to see a psychologist, and live as a woman for a while. Something to do with their code of ethics."

"Do you think you might like to do that?"

"I've been thinking about it. Living as a girl, so far, has been just fine. It feels good being this way. And, maybe not having to mess with the forms, and special panties, might be nice."

"But, to modify your body further than what we've already done. Is such a big step."

"Yea. I look so much like a girl now that even my old friends don't know me. I saw a couple of guys from school the other day, and all I got was the typical guy looking at a girl thing. No sign of recognition. It was kind of sad, but also kind of nice."

"You're happy with yourself. Aren't you?"

"Very much. She also brought up the possibility that I was transgendered."

"Transgendered?"

"Yea. The girl in a guys body thing."

"Why?"

"I guess it was the ease that I fell into a girl's roll."

"Do you feel that way?"

"No. Not really. I just feel like a guy, who prefers to look like a girl. I love the clothes, the pampering that you get at a spa or salon, and the fun of having close girlfriends. I don't know why, I guess it's just me."

"Still no interest in boys?"

"No. Nothing what so ever. I even had a really cute guy hit on me the other day at the mall. And, nothing. I had no interest in him, and I just ignored him."

"And, your feeling toward girls?"

"I love girls. I love everything about girls."

"You know what I mean."

I smiled, and said, "I'm only attracted to girls. And, one in particular."

"And, if something happened between that girl and you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if you, and this girl broke up? What would you do? Would you try, and find another girl that would love you as a girl? Would you go back to being a boy? Or, what?"

I looked at her a little worried, and said, "God. I don't know. I just hope I never have to find out. I guess I'd have to wait and see what happened. But, I think I'd stay a girl. I feel better this way. There's just something about it, that makes me feel good."

She smiled, and said, "Don't worry lover. You're stuck with me. I just wanted to see how you felt about yourself."

"Don't do that to me."

A week later, I was walking out on the stage on the cruise ship for the first time as Maddie. With a little help from some makeup, the last of the bruising was gone. It felt wonderful, being back with the group. I was wearing a short, very low cut, white dress, a great pair of heels, a lot of jewelry, and as usual, very dangly earrings. The tape was again in use to keep me from falling out of the dress. And, the five of us, with the five guys in the band, sounded great.

Just before this cruise Katie had filled me in the story that they had come up with about Kyla and Abby. And, it went something like this. Kyla had to move to the west coast for something, and wanted Abby to go with her. But, Abby wanted to stay in the area, and continue to do the cruises. And, they had a big fight over it, and broke up. Then when I , Maddie, was brought into the group, it was like love at first sight between Abby and Maddie. She said the only comment out of any of the guys was, "Why is it always the pretty ones." And, there was no sign that anyone saw any part of Kyla in Maddie. I do sound a little like her, but don't look like her.

On the last night of the cruise, Katie and Gary got the two groups together, and Gary, with tears in his eyes, said, "This is the last cruise that we'll be together. The band is breaking up. And, I just wanted to wish the girls all the luck with everything. I really don't think you need any luck, I think you guys will go a long way."

There were tears everywhere, the girls gave all the guys hugs. As Gary was hugging me, he said, "This is an extra special hug for Kyla."

I stepped back, and looked at him. He just smiled, and winked.

The guys then just left the room. The tears kept up from the five of us, as Nan said, "I'll miss those guys. They were good together, and we sounded good with them."

"They were good.", Katie said, "And, I hope we still sound good without them, because we're about ready to start on the CD. Pam has a whole set of original songs for us to do. And, we'll start working on them as soon as we get home. We're also going to be recording live on the next cruise. The record company will be sending two guys with us. And, they'll record each night. Then we'll pick the best of the recordings, and see if they will make it."

When Abby and I were back in our stateroom, I said, "That was so weird."

"What was weird?"

"Gary. As he was hugging me, he said, 'This is an extra special hug for Kyla.' Does he know?"

"I don't know how he could."

The week after the cruise, we worked really hard on the new songs, and Pam had done a wonderful job on them. The five of us felt that they would really work. So, it looked like it was a go for the following week.

Now, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but two days before we were to leave for the ship, things changed between Abby and I.

 

- End Part 3 -

  

  

  

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