As they held me down, I looked up and saw it. Pink and firm, one eye staring at me, just a few inches from my lips. Then someone grabbed my head, pinched my nose, then forced himself into me. Back and forth, he held me tightly until he stopped, then erupted, filling my mouth with salty liquid. It was done. They all laughed, then pushed me to the ground and walked away. I lay there thoroughly ashamed at what they had made me do. Unable to fight them off, they had forced me to do it, and now it would be all over the school. My life just went in the toilet, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I picked myself up off the ground, and began the walk home. I looked like hell, my mouth tasted funny, and I was miserable, but I had the answer.
By the time I got home my mind was made up, and I didn't even clean up. I went to the dresser and took it out, then went back into my room where I sat on the bed, staring into the mirror. I pulled the hammer back, put the barrel in my right ear, and began to squeeze the trigger. Just then the door burst open, and my father stood there. He and I locked eyes, then he put his hands up and asked me to put the gun down. He begged, but his words meant nothing to me. He liked to beat me, for no reason, just like those guys at school, and I no longer cared what he said. Then my sister barged past dad, shoved him out of the room and slammed the door shut. Without a word she took one step, grabbed the gun, and yanked. The bullet went past my ear, nicking my scalp, then hit the ceiling, making a huge hole. Almost deaf from the report of the gun, I could not hear a thing when dad knocked the door down and came in. Seeing that I was alright, he took the gun and stomped out of the room without a word.
My sister quickly took me to her room, stuffed me in the shower, and insisted that I wash up. Then, when I was done, she gave me one of her robes to put on. Somehow, it seemed appropriate. Then she asked me to tell her why I wanted to kill myself. I resisted, but Ellen and I were always close, and she finally managed to get me started. Then it was like rainfall as my words poured out. Every torment, each poke at my masculinity, the constant teasing, then, finally, I told her what had happened, how I was unable to protect myself from being used like a woman. Laying there in the dirt, my mouth with the taste of the still lingering seed of my tormentor, I knew that I did not deserve to live, and that is why I tried to put an end to it. Sobs punctuated my tale, my tears staining the robe, my uncontrollable shakes a sure sign of the sheer terror I had gone through, then had to relive. Ellen held me to her breast, rocking slowly back and forth as I wept away the terrible pain.
Our mother had died when I was very young, and Ellen, ten years older, had been the one that actually raised me. Dad worked hard, long hours, and was rarely home, except to sleep. He had a secret, but we never did find out what it was, and I began to care less and less what he thought. I worked hard to gain his respect, yet it was obvious that he was very disappointed in me, and I knew that, right from the age I could understand it. A frail child, I was never as large as any one my age, and now, well, I wasn't much bigger than the average girl I knew. Dad tried to make what he called a man out of me, but I was never strong enough to do any of the things he took for granted. In his disgust at how I had turned out, he decided that beating me into shape was called for, and he tried that quite often. He didn't drink that much, but he had a mean streak, and wasn't the least bit afraid to use his temper and strength against me. Only Ellen stood between us. At age 24, she no longer feared him, and had twice called the cops when he became violent. Dad learned to stay away from us if he was angry, especially if she was around. Ellen put me in her bed and covered me up, sitting in the chair until I drifted off to sleep, where, in my dreams, I could be more than an equal, and quite able to pummel my tormentors without mercy.
With only a few days left until the end of the school year, I remained at home, unable, and unwilling, to face my classmates. Ellen went to work, but came home at lunch, and told me that she was moving out. Just as I was about to beg her to take me with her, My Grandfather arrived. He never liked my dad, and refused to even talk to him more times than not, and he wasn't afraid of my dad in any way. Grandpa, a retired doctor, had a very gentle way about him, and always stood up for us when dad would start to get abusive. I think he knew dad's secret, but he never once hinted at it.
"You and Ellen" Grandpa said, "are coming to live with me. After this last episode, it's time for you to move on. With your dad the way he is, I can only imagine what will happen when he finds out what happened to you."
"We are both moving in with Grandpa", Ellen said, "so I'll be there, don't worry."
"What?" I asked, "will dad say when he finds out we've moved?"
"He can say anything he likes. My lawyers will bring up the number of times he has been tossed in jail for domestic violence, against all of you, including your mother, as well as a few other things. I have already talked to them, and they assure me there won't be any problems at all. Now, go pack anything you want to take, because we aren't coming back." Grandpa didn't sound like he was ready to take a lot of guff from my dad.
It took me less than an hour to pack up my pitiful few things and leave. Ellen was already mostly packed, and we left the house for the last time. I was sure that dad would set out on a rampage when he found out we were gone, but I put that out of my mind. Nothing was said about that terrible day on the way to Grandpa's house, and when we got there I was given my mothers old room, while Ellen moved into the master suite down the hall. Grandpa now stayed in the downstairs bedroom, and that way we all had a comfortable room. After I unpacked I looked around the room, and saw that it looked as if my mother, still a teenager, still lived here. The posters, the bedspread, the dolls, even the wallpaper told me that this was her bedroom. Ellen came in, shut the door, and sat on the bed facing me.
"We have a chance to have a stable life here, but there is something that I wanted to ask you." Ellen sounded serious, and I listened carefully. "You never will have the means to get even with the boys that raped you, not as a man anyway. You were crushed the other night because everything about you was called into question. Your strength, your manhood, your sexuality, and even your sense of self. You want revenge, you told me that yourself, but how? Just what did you have in mind? Beating them up? That's not likely, is it? How then? Using a gun? That's silly and you know it. Besides, if you killed them, just how long would you last in a prison? That would be more horrible than anything you can imagine. There is another way, and it will require you to take another road, but if you do it, you'll have the chance to right a lot of wrongs, and lead the most normal life you ever imagined." I waited for her to tell me, then… "All you have to do, is become someone else."
"Huh?"
"I've already talked to Grandpa about this, and he agrees with me. If you want to get even with them, a revenge of sorts, I have a plan, and a way for you to do it, and all you have to do is say yes."
"I still don't get it Ellen, just what are you saying?"
Well, Ellen told me, bluntly, and without mercy. She pointed out my size, or the lack of it, my lack of hair, muscle mass, the shape of my face, my skinny arms, and my total lack of any of what she called "manly skills", then she told me, in great detail what she was talking about. I was shocked that she would even suggest it, flat out said no, and she never pushed it, simply leaving me to think about it. After she left, I looked in the mirror, only to confirm what I already knew. Ellen was right. As a boy, I had to be the worst specimen that ever lived. But, maybe, I guess, I would be the same size as most girls, and, like Ellen said, they don't need a lot of muscles. From my male point of view, all I needed was long hair, boobs and half a brain. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I simply could not imagine me as a girl, and gave up trying, although the thought of it nagged at me. I got hungry, and wandered into the kitchen, only to find Grandpa.
"Ellen talk to you?"
"Yeah, but she was talking weird Grandpa."
"Maybe, maybe not son, that's entirely up to you. But she does have a point you know. If, as Ellen suggests, you become someone else, become a girl, then you can right many wrongs, and there won't be a thing anyone can do about it, including your father. Especially your father."
"You agree with Ellen?!" I said, somewhat incredulously, "You think that I would be better off wearing dresses?"
"The dresses have nothing to do with it son, it's about becoming someone different. It's merely a matter of remaking yourself in a way that suits your current needs. That's what's important. You were abused by your father, and those boys, they made to do things to them, and you told us both that you wanted some revenge on them. But we all know that it would be impossible unless you do something else, and if wearing a dress serves that end, then why not?" Then Grandpa told me something. "The merit of an action lies in seeing it to the end. Ghengis Khan said that, and it's still true today." I knew for sure that Grandpa never said anything he didn't mean, which told me that he meant what he said. Then he asked me…"If you see this through, and manage to make a new life for yourself, you will have conquered your greatest fear." He paused, then…"Have you ever tried it? I mean, dressing up as a girl?"
"No" I said, now wondering why not.
"Maybe you should" he said tersely, then left me there to think about it.
Me? Dressed as a girl? Just to say it still sounded ludicrous, yet, that strange tug I felt, once again resurfaced, with my mind nagging at me, even as I tried to forget it. Maybe, I thought, if Ellen helped me, I wouldn't turn out looking like a cross between some horror show freak and a clown, but I doubted it. That evening, Ellen, seeing my reluctance at doing what she suggested, settled the matter for me when she told me that in the morning, which was a Saturday, she was going to turn me into a girl, and that she expected me to at least be a good sport about it. I did not say no. I just worried how I would look. I was sure that everyone would fall down laughing.
Right after breakfast Grandpa left, leaving me in the hands of my sister. She had that grin I know so well on her face.
"Tell me" I asked, "Just why I have to dress as a girl again?"
Drawing in a deep breath, she sat back and looked at me with those green eyes of hers. "You and I both know that if you stay the way you are now, nothing will change. You're in a different school district now, but just how long will it be before the kids find out what happened and start in on you?" She had a point. "If we turn you into a girl, you will fit in better, nobody will be able to add it up, and you'll be able to relax and simply be a student rather than a skinny kid that anyone can push around, or abuse. That's why Grandpa and I suggested that you try it, not because someone made you do something obscene. Now then, how would you like to help me meet my little sister?"
With a heavy heart and a whole lot of doubt about this, I agreed. Then it began. Ellen insisted that I start with panties, then she had me sit at the vanity as she showed me how to do makeup. It seemed to me like it was a flurry of brushes, colors with names that I could not remember, like "sunset umber blue" or some such thing. I never got to see what she was doing because she had covered up the mirrors with towels, so all I could do was trust her. When she was done with my face, she wet my hair down and began to put in some rollers, using pins to hold them in place. Then came the clothing. There was a waist nipper, which drew my waist in about three inches, then a bra that fastened in the front, padded with socks, pantyhose that changed the color of my legs, a pantybrief that completely hid my manhood, then a short slip, and finally a little red dress that she pulled over my head and zipped up. I never realized just how many fasteners, buttons, clips, hooks and elastic women used to hold themselves together. I didn't think I would remember all of them. Ellen took me by the hand to the vanity again, removed the rollers, and brushed out my hair, using a curling iron once in a while, the earrings were added, a necklace, then blusher, and finally, lipstick. With great fanfare, she stood me in front of the mirror, waiting until I was in place, then she yanked the towel away.
The girl standing there was cute! Not pretty really, but cute enough to attract attention. A small but nice bust, narrow waist and wider hips, and the dress hung on every curve, accenting her shape, while her brown hair lay in a perfect hairdo for a girl her age. Bright red lips under the same green eyes I shared with my sister, long sexy legs complimented by the shortness of the dress. I was stunned, unable to speak the words that ran through my mind.
"God! Your gorgeous! Turn around!"
Ellen, to my great chagrin, was right. I looked so different that even I was having trouble believing it was me standing there! As I looked closer, I could not see one sign that I was a boy, yet I knew I was, but I was gone, this girl taking my place! Ellen took me by the hand and we went to the familyroom. Just having the dress swirling around my legs and the clicking of my heels on the floor made me realize just how different it would be to be a girl. Ellen had me practice sitting down, walking, and so on for a few hours, which is what we were doing when our father barged in.
"Okay, where is he?" Dad demanded.
"Who?" Ellen asked.
"You know damned well who I mean! That runt brother of yours. Where is he? I'm going to whip his butt for not telling me where we went!" Dad went right up to Ellen, got about a foot from her, and…"If you know where he is you better tell me Ellen!"
"I have no idea where he is, and if you don't leave right this minute, I'll call the police. This is not your house, and you're trespassing!"
"Who is this? Dad said, pointing at me.
"This" Ellen said, "is my friend Beth. Now please leave."
Dad took one more look at me, glared at Ellen, then stormed out, slamming the door on the way. Ellen took one look at me, then began to laugh so hard she was crying!
"See" What did I tell you? Even dad didn't know who you were! You were perfect Beth!"
Sadly, Ellen was right. Not even my own father had recognized me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Ellen took me by the hand, then we made a small lunch, and were at he table when Grandpa came home. He took one look at me and his mouth dropped open. But, being polite, he said nothing, and joined us for lunch, but I saw his quick looks once in a while. As Ellen and I cleaned up, she asked me how I felt. I said okay, which was true, but everything about myself felt different, from the way I stood to the way I used my hands and walked, it all seemed to come naturally, as if it was normal. I now knew for sure that I could be presentable as a girl and not a freak, so the only question left was, could I, or possibly would I, do this all the time? Alone for the first time in a while, I went back to my room, and simply stared into the mirror, then, my hand found the lipstick, and I coated my lips with the same lipstick that Ellen had used on me. Then I saw it on the vanity. I didn't touch it at first, but my hand soon reached for it, and with a gentle squeeze of my finger, I spritzed myself with perfume. I smelled great. Still in shock at how things had turned out, I decided to give this girl thing one whole day.
For the rest of the day I walked around, even out on the patio, the sensation of wearing a dress, the taste of the lipstick and the smell of the perfume all seemed to envelop me, taking me to a place that I never knew existed, a place where I wasn't afraid of being the skinny kid with no manly strengths. I stood at the railing enjoying the sun, watching the birds and clouds, but my mind was mired in the only thing that mattered right then. How could I manage to be a girl full time? Just the thought of it was no longer strange. It was intoxicating, exotic in a way, the forbidden come true. I somehow knew that I would do it, or try anyway, since I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Girl. The very word stuck in my mouth as I recalled the image of myself in the mirror. The word girl conjured up all sorts of strange images in my mind, some pleasant, like the way I looked, plus the smell of perfume, while others, less pleasant when I realized that as a girl it would not be out of place for me to do what had been forced on me. Yet, the ability to wreck some sort of retribution on my tormentors loomed large, and the pluses did seem to outweigh the downside. But I didn't know any girls that did what I had been forced to do, which made up my mind. A smile came to my face, and I went to find my sister and tell her I wanted to become a girl, a virginal girl.
She knew before I told her. Ellen drew me to her, told me it would be okay, then we went to make dinner. That night, as I got ready for bed, I opened a drawer and found some nightgowns. I slipped the blue one over my head and went to bed. I slept without the nightmares for the first time in long time. In the morning after breakfast, Ellen and I went to my room, and for the first time I had a bubblebath, using a razor to remove all traces of hair that I could find. There wasn't much, yet every square inch of my skin tingled when I stepped out of the tub. My hair, freshly washed, lay in stringy strands, but as I dried off I knew that Ellen could make it look just fine, for a girl that is. After I slipped on some panties, I had my first lesson in how to do makeup. I felt as if I had five thumbs on each hand at first, then, after the third try, it seemed to get easier, and I managed to do all of my makeup, myself, and still look halfway presentable. Ellen did my hair again, but this time she pulled it into a short, high ponytail, secured with a bright white bow. I thought it made me look like a five year old, but she ignored my protests, and watched as I fumbled through all those same clips, hooks and fasteners, alone this time. As she watched, she casually mentioned that we both had appointments at the beauty shop, and it would be better if I wore a simple blouse that buttoned up the front. Instead of a skirt or dress, she handed me a pair of faded jeans. I had no fear that I would show too much since the pantybrief held me in place okay, but jeans made me feel, less feminine I guess, and asked her if I could wear a skirt. As the words fell out of my mouth I realized that I had just asked to wear a skirt! That was something that I never would have considered doing just a few days ago. Ellen smiled in the way she does, and let me pick out my own. I selected the pink and white one.
Wearing my gym shoes and a white blouse, she and I left the house for my first trip away from the cocoon of security I had in the house. Ellen seemed a bit over the top to me, but that was because of the way she described how I would simply love the pampering at the shop, and when they were through with me, I would no longer be your average girl, but a real knock out. She said it three times, so I knew that she was looking forward to seeing me when they were done. Me? Well I was concerned that someone, probably a little old lady, would see me as a male and start some shenanigans and embarrass me. But, I was on my way, and Ellen wouldn't stop now that she had shown me just how nice I looked as a girl, and was convinced that I would enjoy it just as much as she did. I was beginning to think she was right, but I would never admit that.
The soft music in the background and the potted ferns did nothing to stem the assault on my nose. Women were chatting, a few youngsters were playing in their area, and as I looked around, I saw women of all ages in smocks, pink for the customers, green for the stylists.
"Yes" Ellen said, We have appointments? Beth and Ellen…yes, that's right."
The woman had us sit, then within a few minutes a girl that looked very young came and got me. She let out the ponytail, then washed my hair before she did anything else. She made a few suggestions, and I went along because I didn't know any better. Words like "tinting, body perm, and highlights" punctuated the air as she began. My hair is shoulder length, my one and only rebellious statement to the world. I might not be strong, but I could wear my hair long, just like the other guys do! Kim, the stylist, was talking, but I ignored her most of the time, and she just kept on working. Rollers and an ugly smelling lotion were added, more chemicals, then I was stuck under the dryer, which made a lot of noise and was very hot. While I sat there, another girl came over, and began working on my hands. Washing, then cleaning my nails, she wiped them down in acetone before she also started in with strange mixtures and potions. I watched her as one by one she created longer, shapely nails, which she then filed down and made smooth before she applied the soft red polish. My nails were now a good quarter inch longer, and made my hand look smaller, more feminine. My toenails were next, and when she was done, all twenty of my digits were the same color, kind of a reddish plum color.
Then, Kim began to take out the rollers, and for the first time, I saw that my hair was no longer brown, but auburn, like Ellen's, and curly all over. Springy curls populated my head, and I almost said something, but Kim began to brush out my hair, and in just a few strokes of the brush, I had a shorter, very feminine hairdo! It framed my face perfectly, and at the same time changed the way I looked altogether! I thought I was done, but another woman came over, and told me to hold still. Then came the pain as she shaped, thinned, and arched my eyebrows. As the small hairs fell in my lap I was sure that she was making me bald, but it did not last too long, then she said she was done, and I could go. I looked in the mirror, and I was a whole new person! No longer a skinny boy, but a pretty girl with an oval face and a knockout hairdo! Grinning, I found Ellen waiting for me in the front of the shop.
"What you need now Beth is some new lingerie, like panties and bras, but Grandpa wanted to see you at the house before we bought anything, so lets go meet with him before we hit the mall!"
What Grandpa did when he saw me shocked me. He smiled widely, then hugged me, and told me he was very glad that he had two such pretty granddaughters! Then he told me that he wanted to see me, alone, in my room for a few minutes, as he had something special for me. In my room, he asked me to undress, "naked" he said, then waited for me to comply. When I was standing there that way I looked just awful. A girl head on a boy body. Blah!
"A friend of mine gave me these, and something else for you. Now, I want you to lay down, and be still."
I did what he said, trying to watch what he was doing, but he pushed my head down. He used some kind of adhesive, then pushed a pair of things on my chest. I knew what they were, breast forms.
"These are like no other breast form on the market Beth. The will conform to the shape of your own chest for a better fit, and the glue turns into a sensory net that after you wear them for a while, will let you sense when someone touches you there or you bump them. Now comes the hard part, and I'll warn you, once you have this on, you'll be wearing it for a very long time. That's the downside. The up side is that you'll be able to go, do, or wear, anything any other girl your age can do, or wear, even take a shower with other girls, and nobody will ever know that you are a boy. Now is the time to agree or not Beth." Without hesitation, I accepted my future, and nodded my head yes. "Good. Now stand up and spread your legs."
Trying to describe what we had to go through to get them on would be very hard. Suffice it to say that we both tugged and yanked, my member was slid into a tube, and Grandpa finally fixed it in place, sticking the small nozzle under the panty, he used the same adhesive he used on my boobs. It was tight but not bad, and as I looked in the mirror, I couldn't find the smallest seam anywhere, on my breasts or the panty!
"You better get dressed, Ellen is waiting for you. By the way, your spending limit is two grand."
Grandpa left the room, and I turned to see the new me. Breasts that looked as if I grew them myself, a smooth feminine groin with hair tinted almost the same color as my hair, wider hips and a rounder, fuller bottom. The vision I saw in the mirror changed my entire view of myself. In every way I was now a girl, a 14 year old female, and I had a chance to start a new life. I embraced that thought with great glee even as I continued to check out the new me. I knew from when I put it on that the back was open, yet I couldn't see a seam there either, because, as Grandpa said, 'it terminates in the crack up your backside". With a wide smile, I quickly got dressed, but found the bra tight and the panties a bit snug even though everything else fit fine. I was smiling when Ellen saw me next.
"What was that all about? And why did it take so long?"
"Grandpa gave me something. You'll find out later." I said, grinning as Ellen grabbed her car keys.
Our first stop was a lingerie shop in a department store because Ellen said that we might as well start at the beginning. I needed everything. Bras. Panties, slips and so on. A woman walked over and asked if she could help us, and Ellen, assuming nothing had changed, asked to see bras in a certain size, but that size was tight on me now, so I interrupted, and told the woman that.
"Just follow me and we'll get your right size after we take a few measurements."
It was worth it to watch Ellen's face as I slipped off my old bra and she saw that I had breasts. The woman merely took the measurements, then told me I wore a full 34 A cup bra, and any of the ones on the racks would fit me fine.
"That was interesting! Is that what Grandpa did? It had to be!" Well, now that you have them, maybe we should get you a bra that will show them off a bit!"
With Ellen's help, I picked out two, plus several packages of panties, paid the bill, and moved on. I had my ears pierced, bought some jewelry, then four skirts, five blouses, three dresses, a suit, four pairs of shoes, a coat, purse, a new wallet, and some jeans and slacks. On the way out, just to tweak Ellen, I told her I wanted to buy a swimsuit, picked out three to try on, and made her wait while I changed. By that time I was really enjoying myself, having never experienced the thrill of shopping this way, and of course, the confidence the breast forms and that special panty let me enjoy it. I forgot all about my ingrained fear of discovery. The first suit was all one piece, navy blue with a green stripe. I did not like it, but Ellen did. The second was a red and white bikini, which showed off all of my new charms. I liked it, Ellen did not, but I had her attention with that suit. The third, my absolute favorite, was yellow and red, two piece but not a bikini, and we both decided that was the one for me. On the way home Ellen didn't say much, but she knew that for me to wear that second bikini I had to have done something with Mr. Wonderful, and about a block from home she broke down and asked me. I did not answer her.
We lugged everything to my room, put it all away, then Ellen demanded to know how I managed to wear a bikini that didn't have enough material to cover my shoe and not "stick out" as she put it. Without a word I began to undress, first the blouse, then the bra. My skirt hit the floor followed by my pantyhose, and finally, I hooked my fingers in my panties and slipped them off and stood there facing her. I looked like your average 14 year old girl, even naked. Ellen gasped a bit, then told me to get dressed and left the room. Later, at dinner, Grandpa told us that my dad had returned while we were gone, and had raised hell about finding me. That's when he told us, me in particular, that he gave dad the papers his lawyers had drawn up. Since I was at or over the age of 14, I had the legal right to choose to live with Grandpa, and with the history our dad had with the police, there wasn't any chance the courts would go against my wishes. He said dad left in a rage. As much as I was afraid of dad, I found myself not caring what he thought any more.
Ellen told me that even though I had the body, I still had to get used to being a girl, and the best way was for me to meet and be around other people, and said that I should get some kind of job. That would mean that I would have to get ready everyday, all on my own, which would include doing my own makeup and hair, then choosing what to wear. It would also help me get used to the way men treat women, especially boys my own age. In a way I wanted to say no, yet I couldn't, not then, not after what had happened to me, and of course, I still had all those new feelings to contend with. I nodded my head yes, and it was done. Already committed to being a girl, I took one more step in the journey of my new life.
The very next day was Monday, so I got dressed in a suit, with a simple blouse that had round neck collar, low heels, and after checking my makeup three times and my hair twice, I grabbed my purse and headed out to find a job. I had no ambition to work in a burger joint, so I had clippings from the paper with me, all listing office type jobs. I tried four places, each time being turned down because of my age. Then I found myself standing in front of the newspapers office. With nothing to lose, I went in, and was directed to the personnel office. I talked to a real nice older lady, who decided to try me as a page. That was her word for Gopher. I filled out the forms, using the name Beth, but all the rest was correct. For parent, I listed Grandpa. Then I was taken to my new work area and introduced to my new boss. He was about 30, and looked like he just stepped out of the pages of a men's fashion magazine. I had expected to see ink stained shirts and people in visors, but this looked like a normal office building.
"Glad to have you with us Beth. For now, take that desk there, put your stuff away, and I'll walk you around and introduce you to everyone."
I did what Mr. Tom Pomer told me, and followed him around for the next half an hour. Everyone seemed delighted to have me there, and I quickly felt at ease. Then I was told that for now, I would be acting as his secretary, answering the phones and so on. The day passed by quicker than I thought, and was elated by the time I got home. Both Grandpa and Ellen were excited that I was working at the paper, and urged me to do my very best. I would have anyway. As that day turned into a week, then two, I found myself at ease as a girl, and no longer worried about discovery. My job kept me busy, and I had the chance to travel all over the building, meeting people, some of them other kids my age. Then it happened. I was called into the personnel office to meet the same lady that had hired me.
"We seem to have a small problem Beth. According to Tom, your work is more than adequate, but that's not the problem. When I put your SS number into the computer it came back with a different name…a boys name. Would you like to tell me about it? I can't help you commit fraud Beth, but I can help you if there is something I should know."
You can imagine my shock when Mrs. Benson told me she knew I was a boy, but in a lot of ways she reminded me of Grandma before she died. The soft blue eyes, that white hair, her gentle smile…well, as I sat there I broke down, started crying, and it all came out. Dad's violent nature, the constant abuse, the rape, and why I ended up as a girl.
"Well" Mrs. Benson said, "you are always clean, and you look well fed, so I'll accept your explanation for now, but I would like your Grandfather to come in a talk to me. I'm sure that we can work this out. For now, just continue as you are. I'll call your Grandfather this afternoon. Come see me in the morning though. Okay?"
"Yes Ma'am." I said, and quickly went back to work, sure that my days at the paper were number.
That night Grandpa told me he had set things straight with Mrs. Benson on the phone, but would see her the next day. That night, for the first time in a month, I sat in the tub and shaved all over again, and once again got that tingly feeling all over my body. I went to work the next day just like always, but was called into Tom's office about ten. Grandpa was there, Mrs. Benson, a guy I didn't know, and my boss, Tom. As it turned out, Tom had been told of my status before I was called in, and the reasons for me being a girl. The guy I did not know was Grandpa's lawyer. It happened really quickly. First, the lawyer told me that I should change my name, and handed me the paper to sign. It had my old name at the top, my new name, Beth Anne at the bottom. I signed it, and Mrs. Benson gave me my first paycheck. But through all this, I saw that Grandpa kept staring at Mrs. Benson. She was smiling back.
After everyone had left, Tom called me into his office again. He questioned me closely about my father, his full name, where he worked and that sort of thing. He also told me that how I dressed was my business, but he also mentioned that he never had a clue that I was a boy. I was glad. Then he sent me on errands all over the building. Beth Anne. The name sounded so feminine, and seemed complete. Not just Beth any longer, but Beth Anne. Tom never mentioned that meeting ever again, but when I mentioned to Grandpa that he had asked me about dad, he told me to cooperate, and answer the questions. When I asked why Tom was so interested in dad, he told me. The news sent me into shock! Dad had never once come near Ellen or I! Then Grandpa said that he might see me the next day, since he and Mrs. Benson had a luncheon date. Ellen and I grinned at each other. It had been a long time since Grandpa had shown any interest in a woman other than Grandma, and she had been gone almost two years now. It was time.
The next day I saw Grandpa and Mrs. Benson leaving the building, laughing and smiling at each other. Maybe I would have a new Grandma sometime in the future. Tom questioned me about dad again, but this time he told me why, which was just about the same as what Grandpa told Ellen and I the night before. I had an evil thought run through my mind and tried to dismiss it, but it kept popping up, and I kept refining what I was thinking. If it could be done, a lot of people would be exposed for what they were, and I would feel a lot better. I decided it was time to have a sister to sister talk with Ellen, and if she agreed, then we could tell Grandpa. Well, Ellen thought it was a fantastic idea, so we took it to Grandpa, who immediately shot holes all over my plan, then he refined it, made it better, then reminded us that we would need some help to pull it off. I knew just what had to be done, so Ellen and I went to figure out just the right way to approach it. With Tom's help, I found out more than I ever imagined about my target, but it was all helpful, and that night Ellen and I went shopping for just the right dress. I found it in the third store. Royal blue metallic, skin tight, short and low cut, it fit me so well that I wondered if I could even wear panties! I bought shoes to match, then we went home to wait for Friday night. I did show Grandpa the dress, and he said it made me look like a tart, whatever that was, but he also said it was perfect for what I had in mind. When I walked in the house after work the next day, I saw Tom, Ellen, one of Ellen's friends, Sara, Grandpa, and someone I didn't know.
"Beth", Tom said, "this is Lt. Han. She is with the sex crimes unit of the police department. I asked her to be here so that you could explain to her your situation, and why it is so important for you to be involved. She is very understanding, and will guide all of us if we do this. I might suggest that you and Lt. Han go somewhere and have a little chat. We'll be waiting right here"
I motioned to Lt, Han, and we went into Grandpa's office and shut the door. "Please sit down" I said, then sat myself. She wanted it all, and since I obviously needed her help, I started at the beginning, meaning when I was raped, then led her through every step of my transformation, the reasons why I agreed, then my discovering that I didn't mind being a girl at all. She listened without interrupting, smiling in a few places, frowning in others, but generally, it was like talking to a statue.
"I can see" she said, "why you are so eager to get even! You should have reported the rape Beth. We could have done something, even if you believe differently. Money holds no sway with me, and I would have nailed them if I could." She smiled at me, sat back, then carefully explained what I could and could not do. "Now then. Let's go talk to everyone else shall we?" I followed her back to the familyroom.
When everyone agreed, Ellen, Sara, and I went to gather up the things we would need. Then I went to bed, confident, but uncertain if what I had in mind would work. The next day was Saturday, and I spent most of it planning to meet on Saturday night after work I prepared carefully, and Ellen took me to the dance where I knew he would be at. He saw me, and that stupid grin he has went wide. I knew I had him. I let him get friendly, we danced, then we went outside, "for some fresh air" he said. Right. His hands were all over me, almost at once, but I managed to calm him down. Then I told him about an all girl party that was being held the next night, and suggested that he bring his friends with him, since he might be outnumbered. He readily agreed, and named the other three guys that had hurt me. With a very wide smile, I gave him very careful instructions on how to get there. He was panting for more when I left, but I sauntered away, leaving him with nothing to do but watch my back. The ball was in motion as they say, and now it all depended on timing, and the help that everyone had promised me. By the time I got home I was so giddy that I almost couldn't stand it. This was going to be so cool, if it worked I mean.
Well, he showed up the next night, right on time, his friends in tow, and I was ready. Ellen had Sara and two other girls there, ready, all dressed up as if it were a party. We descended on those boys like girls in serious need, and they quickly responded. Then Kelly mentioned that it was time to get ready to go to the party, and sure enough, the guy that actually raped me asked if they could go too. "After all, the party is just getting good" he said, and that was when Sara laid in on them.
"Well, yes, you could go, but not like that, you couldn't get in! It's for girls only!"
"But you just said…"
"I said that you could go, but it's a girl's only party. That means that if you want to go, we'll have to help you boys become girls. You don't have to be beautiful, just average, and I'm sure that we can manage that. How about it? You game? Or are you all mouth and no action?"
"You want us to go to a party dressed as girls? Are you nuts?"
"No, I'm not nuts. But if you want to go, that's the only way you can get in. If you don't like it, you boys can go do whatever it is you do on Saturday nights, or you can let us help you become girls, and be the only four guys at an all girl party, and we all know how rowdy girls can get when they think there aren't any boys around!" Sara was laying it on thick, but I could see it in their eyes. They were tempted.
"There's going to be a lingerie show isn't there?" I asked, just to provoke them a bit more.
"I forgot about that Beth" Sara said, "thanks for reminding me!" She turned to look at them and grinned. "How about it guys? You in or out? We have to get ready ourselves, and if you're not going…"
They glanced at each other, then…
"Okay", Kevin said, but you have to help us, and you can't tell anyone! Okay?"
"You got a deal!" Sara said. "We will not tell anyone that you are boys. Now lets break up and get you ready." Sara was really good! She had talked them right into dressing as girls, something I never thought would happen! If it didn't work, we would have had to fall back to plan B.
Sara, as planned, worked on Kevin, while each of the others was sent with one of Ellen's friends. They did not want me helping out since one of the guys might just recognize me, although that was very unlikely now. It took almost two hours before they stood in front of us, clearly nervous, and very uncomfortable, yet they all looked passably nice, pretty even in Jon's case. As planned, we told them that would have to have a girls name, and told each of them what theirs would be. Kevin became Kathy, Jon was Joni, Mike was Michelle, and Sam became Samantha. Each had a purse, since they had no pockets, their own lipsticks, and all reeked of perfume. It was delightfully wonderful, watching them stand there like that, all nervous and edgy. Kelly quickly took them out to the car, Joni and Samantha went with her, Kathy and Michelle with Ellen and I. The other girls rode together. They had no idea where we were going, and never once asked us, so we just didn't tell them.
Lt. Han had picked the place. It was a small bar that was a known hangout for men that liked younger girls. According to her, they swapped pictures, spoke of conquests, sometimes with very young girls. We pulled up outside, got out, and as the boys stood there shivering in the night air, I bent at the waist to "fix" my shoe, and gave them a clear look at my very thin, royal blue panties. Smiling to myself, I followed Sara inside, with the boys following us, the other girls bringing up the rear. We quickly split up, leaving the four of them alone, with nowhere to sit but one of the tables in the middle of the room. The rest of us sat in booths. It took about three minutes for the guys to start hitting on them, and watching them say no was hilarious. Nerves were starting to fray as they quickly began to understand that we weren't going to help them in any way, and this might not be the kind of party we said it was going to be. Kelly and Janet danced with some of the men, which only made the other men try to get our four girls "in the mood" so to speak. Drinks were sent over, and one by one they began to sip on them, then, as fear set in, slug them back. It was exactly what the men wanted. After a couple of stiff drinks, one of the men latched onto Michelle and dragged her upright, took her into his arms, and began to dance. Of course, he was feeling her up, and she was to drunk to realize, or stop it.
It did not take long for all of them to find themselves in the arms of a grown man. As the look of terror grew on their faces, the men all whispered something in their ears. Each of the "girls" shook their heads no and tried to break away, but the men would not take no for an answer, and one by one, they were escorted out of the bar. We waited a few minutes, then went outside to see what was going on. Kathy was frozen in fear, laying back against a car, Joni was fighting her guy, Michelle was laying in the parking lot, out cold, drunk as all get out, and Samantha was in the back seat of a car, her arms wrapped around some guys neck. Just as the guy put his hand up Kathy's dress, the cops pulled in, lights and sirens blaring, arresting all of the men for lewd behavior I think, and the four "girls" were quickly put in separate police cars. I joined Ellen, thanked the other girls, and we quietly left the area, and went home. I knew that the next day was going to be very bad for the boys. Tom had arranged for a photographer to be at the police station, positioned so that he could get very nice, clear pictures of the boys, completely dressed up as girls, and of course, a complete, and very detailed story about how they had gone to a known hangout for men that liked young girls, their apparent activities when the police caught them, and so on. Oh yes, it was going to be a very bad day at their houses, and their lives will be changed forever, just like mine was.
Ellen and I together told Grandpa what happened, how easy it was to get the boys into dresses and so on, then he told us that dad had been arrested for soliciting a minor, a boy. He used an Internet chat room to set it up, then went to the place he was supposed to meet the boy. That was dad's secret. He liked young boys. Unfortunately the boy was a police officer, and dad was promptly arrested. I went to bed elated and disheartened at the same time, since Lt. Han had to know all about what dad was doing, and she never mentioned it, not even once! Grandpa told us he knew, but until it actually happened, there wasn't any crime, and he didn't want to second guess the cops. I guess he was right.
The first thing in the morning Ellen went out and bought three papers. Handing me one of them, I saw the pictures. Each of the boys was shown in a very flattering way, and it made them all look as if this were the most normal thing in the world for them, dressing as girls I mean. The article went into great detail, naming names, citing the actions of the boys, where they were at when they were caught, and what it "looked" like they were doing. No addresses were given, but I knew, and wanted to go over to each one of their house and laugh in their faces. Grandpa told me not to gloat, it wasn't lady like. It took two days before the sensational news wore off, and that's when some lawyer showed up at our house. Grandpa politely let him in, called us to join them, and let the man ask us all sorts of questions about that night. We never lied, not once. We told him the boys had asked us to help them get dressed as girls, which they did, then they dressed themselves. The only help from any of us was with makeup and hair as it was needed, then we went to the bar together where we sat in the only booths available and they got stuck at a table. How they drank, and we did not, how they danced with the men, Kelly and Janet joining them, then the boys left the bar and the police showed up.
He questioned whether the boys actually dressed themselves, but Sara had asked their permission to take pictures, sort of a momento, and they had all agreed. Every one of those pictures showed a boy eagerly getting dressed as a girl, and none of us were in even one picture. He didn't like it, but he was stuck with the facts, and we had the pictures to prove it. All he had were four sorry boys in dresses. Grandpa told him that he did not want to see any of those boys anywhere near his house, and if any of them harassed Ellen or I, all hell would break loose, and he meant it. I read every word in that paper, reveling in the pain I had helped cause them, and hoped they would never forget it. I even cut out the pictures and the article. Mrs. Benson came over later, after the lawyer left, gave Ellen and I a hug, then asked about what happened. We gave her a quick run through, then Ellen and I went to our rooms while she and Grandpa kept to themselves, although it sounded like two teenagers having a party in the kitchen to me. I hoped so.
Back at work, Tom called me into his office, and gave me framed pictures of each of the boys dressed as girls, then, without another word, put me to work. I was so busy all day that I actually quit thinking about Saturday night. When I got home, there was an envelope for me. Opening it, I saw that my name had been changed. I was now legally Beth Anne! I turned 15 a week later, and as my gift from Grandpa, he gave me a very complete physical, and started me on a very mild dosage of hormones. To do the physical, I had to remove the breast forms and the special panty, and when I did, I felt more naked than I ever did. My body felt out of balance, and I hated what I saw in the mirror. I had become Beth, a modestly attractive girl, and had no ambition to return to being that skinny boy I used to be. It was not until the next day that I was allowed to reattach the breast forms, but the panty, according to Grandpa, was not going to be needed, he had another way. It took him about half an hour to turn my manhood outside in, and make it look as if I were a girl once again, but without the panty this time. Only my hips and bottom were not quite as round as I was before, but I didn't mind that at all, because when my fingers found the new plumbing, I could feel it, slip my finger in a bit, and I have to say, it felt great. I felt as if I really were a girl.
Before I was able to get dressed any further than my panties Ellen came in and told me to sit on the bed. Then I got a lesson in feminine hygiene, the reasons why and all that. For some reason I wasn't embarrassed at all. Ellen stayed there as I slipped on a pair of jeans, a bra and a top, then, at her urging, we went shopping. While we were out, Ellen suggested that I get my very first party dress, one I wanted and wasn't a hand me down from her. I picked out a white summer dress that had a flaring skirt and a square cut neckline, then Ellen picked out white earrings, bracelet and necklace to match the dress. On the way home we stopped at the salon, and once again I had my hair and nails done. It did not feel so strange the second time around.
When we got home, Ellen asked me to put my new dress on, redo my makeup, wear heels, and get all "gussied up" to use her words. I didn't have a clue what was going on, and did what she asked. When I was done, almost an hour had passed, but I gave it no thought and stepped out of my room, and went to find everyone. I found them in the familyroom. Grandpa, Ellen, Tom, Mrs. Benson, Sara, Kelly and Janet were there, as was my lawyer. Grandpa walked over and started the CD player, and the music started. It was my favorite song, since it fit me perfectly.
To dream the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where the brave dare not go…To fight for the right
without question or pause
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause.
"Beth" Grandpa said, "we are all very proud of you. You have managed to become a daughter any man would be proud to call his own. Tom says that you do good work, and Ellen and I have seen you grow into the role thrust on you, all without rancor. You righted a terrible wrong, and have shown all of us what it means to be strong. Because of that, we have something for you."
Grandpa opened a small box, and I saw it.
"This was made from your Grandmas wedding ring Beth. She wore it for almost 35 years, and I would be pleased if you would wear it now."
I took the box in my shaking hand, and stared at the ring. Ellen came over, took the box from me, and slipped the ring on my finger. My hand felt as if it were very heavy, but the diamonds glittered in the light, and I quickly got used to it. Mrs. Benson gave me a nice scarf, gloves and hat set, Tom, who made it possible to get even with those boys, gave me a brand new badge. You see, permanent employees have a blue badge. This one was blue, and it had my picture and name right on it! Sara and Janet each gave me jewelry, and my lawyer gave me the forms to sign so that all of my records could be amended, and I could attend school as a girl. I had tears in my eyes when Mrs. Benson brought in one other person. It was David! My age, he also worked at the paper, as a copy boy. But David had said a total of maybe six words to me in all the time I had been at the paper! But I often saw him staring at me, so I knew that he liked me. I just didn't know how to talk to boys, so I didn't.
"I think it's time you two quit staring at each other and actually talk! Everyone is tired of all that waiting, so we invited David top join us for your birthday party."
David was smiling, but stood back a little, a small box in his hands. I stepped closer, he gave it to me, and I opened it. It was a pair of pearl earrings! I didn't even think about it. I leaned over, said "thank you David", then kissed him, right on the lips. He was stunned, I was scared, and everyone else was applauding! It turned out to be a wonderful party, and David and I got along just fine. Life is good.
© 2000
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