Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers

by Deane Christopher

edited by Steve Zink

© 2002

  

Preface

Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers takes place in the Magatrix the Magnificent Universe, which was first introduced in my serialized seven-part story, Magician's Assistant. The premise upon which both that story and this story are based revolves around the fact that Magatrix the Magnificent has been reprimanded by the ethics review board of the Magician's Guild, and thereby constrained from continuing to use handsome young males as her stage assistants. Due to a little known codicil buried deep within the guild's arcane bylaws, should a performing member elect to avail themselves of a stage assistant or assistants, said stage assistant(s) must be: one, young; two, beautiful; and three, female. Outraged by the ruling of her guild's review board, Magatrix elects to adhere to the letter of the Magician Guild's bylaws, while sidestepping its spirit. Magatrix the Magnificent, via the use of real magic, has elected to sidestep the spirit of the outdated codicil by asking for male volunteers from the audience to come up and join her on stage, whereupon she magically transforms the unsuspecting gentlemen into her lovely female stage assistants.

Normally, Magatrix restores these magically feminized volunteer assistants of hers to their former manly physiques at the completion of her act. However, for reasons known only to herself, upon occasion, Magatrix sometimes elects to maintain her assistants in their feminine personas for the remainder of the evening, and at times, well into the fullness of the night. Generally, when Magatrix selects this expanded stint as a female option of hers, she modifies her sexual transmogrification spell in such a way as to cause the transsexualized young gentleman to automatically regain his manhood at the dawning of the following day.

Generally, when Magatrix chooses to expand one of her volunteer assistant's tenure as a bona fide member of the opposite sex, she further modifies her transsexualization spell to include some very powerful subliminal inducements that tend to function much the way posthypnotic suggestions might. Magatrix does this in order to make it easier for the sexually transmogrified male to continue to function as the woman he has been turned into by drastically downplaying, or completely eliminating the ignominy factor involved in operating for a time as a woman. For instance, Magatrix usually continues to negate the residual and telltale awkwardness that would normally beset most men ensconced in a well-endowed woman's body. She achieves this by incorporating several magical subroutines within her expanded spell in order to compensate for the marked shift in weight distribution. That, in turn, directly impacts on the sexually transmogrified individual's new center of gravity, thereby making it easy for her sexually transmogrified assistants to maneuver about in a pair of stiletto heels.

Since Magatrix the Magnificent's magic act has not substantially altered from that which was described in my previous story, Magician's Assistant 1: The Performance, I have elected to begin Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers shortly after Magatrix has brought her evening's performance to its conclusion. In other words, the foremost male protagonist of this story, one Michael Gerlach, begins this story as the woman Magatrix has turned him into earlier in the evening. However, for those who might be interested in reading (or possibly rereading) a description of Magatrix's magical act, in which the initial transsexualization of birthday boy Jeff Gibson takes place, I encourage them to read Magician's Assistant 1: The Performance, which can be accessed elsewhere on this site.

 

Synopsis of Preceding Chapters

  Chapter 1 began with a conversation that occurred while the ultra feminized Michael Gerlach was dancing with his best friend, John Larsen. Having first discussed Mike's impressions of what it was like to be a woman, Mike continues on to tell John about of some of the more unusual aspects of transsexualization spell that she is operating under. Then, having admitted that she finds herself sexual attracted to John, Mike encourages John to kiss her. One kiss leads to another, whereupon a very turned-on Mike beseeches John to make love to her. At that point Magatrix joins the conversation and offers the two of them the use of one of her hotel suite's bedrooms.

In Chapter 2, we joined the couple just prior to Mike's first multi-orgasmic experience as a woman, via John's selfless act of oral sex. Following that, the two then go on to share their impressions. Then, to John's amazement, Mike informs her friend that what she wants is to experience what it feels like to have his manhood nestled snugly up insider her. John, after a little coaxing on Mike's part, is more than happy to oblige her.

Chapter 3 picks up where Chapter 2 left off, with Mike quickly losing her virginity as the two friends engage in their first act of carnal sex. Then, after they have somewhat recuperated from their love making session, another intimate conversation ensues in which John and Mike begin to tentatively explore how their feelings toward one another may have changed, in light of Mike's temporary and magical transsexualization. Another love making sessions follows, in which John, in the heat of his passion, utters those three little words that not only have a marked tendency to scare the bejesus out of people, but can prove absolutely disastrous to a relationship, terminating it with but their mere utterance.

In Chapter 4, having acknowledged the fact that they are indeed in love with one another, John and Mike begin to seriously examine the pros and cons of a life together as man and wife. Finally, after a good deal of discussion, Mike informs John that she wants nothing more than to remain a woman and become not only his wife, but the mother of his children as well. The chapter ended with Mike asking John to go get Magatrix so that she could prevail upon the magician to make her sexual reassignment a permanent one.

Chapter 5 began with John regrettably informing Mike that Magatrix has not returned to her hotel suite as yet. Then, having reconfirmed the fact that she dearly would like to remain the woman that the magician has turned her into, Mike, in an effort to make the most of her remaining time as a girl, enticed John into making love to her again. Afterward, aware that dawn was quickly approaching, and with Magatrix still a no-show, the two adopted a plan to wait the magician out.

Chapter 6 began with dawn quickly approaching, and Magatrix still not having put in an appearance at her hotel suite. Aware that Mike would shortly revert back to being a man again, the two friends decided that it would be best for them to shower and dress separately. While in the shower, Mike played a fast and furious game of grab-ass with herself. Then, having dressed herself, Mike changed back into his former manly self. He then linked up with John in the suite's sitting room, whereupon the two proceeded to head down to the hotel's restaurant.

In Chapter 7, we find that Magatrix the Magnificent has joined John and Mike, soon after their arrival in the hotel's restaurant. Shortly thereafter, having made several easily met demands of the friends, Magatrix changes Mike back into the vivacious young woman he spent the night as. Then, urged by the magician to select a new, feminine name for herself, Mike chooses the name Nicole. Whereupon, Magatrix takes it upon herself to explain how easy it will be for Nicole to assume her new identity.

 

Chapter 8

  "Hey!" John exclaimed, as Nikki placed yet another plate pilled high with food on the booth's rather cluttered table. "You'd better watch it there, kiddo.

"I mean to tell you. You've been really packing in the grub this morning, and the last thing that either one of us wants is for you to ruin that new, trim, little girlish figure of yours.

"I mean, we don't want you getting all fat and frumpy, now do we?"

"Oh, you needn't worry about that, John," Magatrix chimed in. "You see, the way I've got the game rigged, I've fixed it so that Nicole's metabolism is for the most part, pretty self-regulating. In other words, I've not only turned her into a blonde bombshell, but I've made damn sure she'll stay a blonde bombshell, whether she likes it or not.

"Oh, and here's something else that I think you'll find to your liking, Nicole. I've retarded your aging process. Basically, you could say that I've cut it in half. In other words, it'll take you two years to appear as if you aged one. Now, that won't mean a lot to you at the present, but I assure you, it will later on.

"Think about it. Your age is somewhere around twenty-five, right?"

"Yes. That's to say that I will be by the end of next month."

"Okay. But, though you will be twenty-five at the end of next month, would you agree with me that the new you that I've turned you into doesn't look to be a day over twenty?"

"Yeah...I kind of thought that as a girl, I looked a little young for my age."

"But, you're not about to complain about that, are you?" John teased.

"Now, would that be something that you would really want me to complain about? I mean, I'm sure if I ask Magatrix here to make me look my age, she'd be happy to oblige."

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all, Nikki! I mean, you know I like you just the way you are!"

"Good!" Nikki giggled. "Because, so do I. Though I know this is going to sound like I'm full of myself, I have to admit that I really like this new, young, and ever so sexy looking me!"

"Are the two of you about finished with this little lover's game of yours?" Magatrix, playing the part of the stringent taskmaster, ruefully inquired. "Because, if you are, I'd kind of like to move this discussion of ours along, since I do have other things to attend to today.

"Oh! And, speaking of other things, there's something else I've been meaning to ask you, Nicole. Now, I have no idea what your plans are for the rest of the weekend, but I was kind of hoping that you might be able to see your way clear to lending me a hand this afternoon, and maybe even tomorrow afternoon as well.

"You see, I'm scheduled to perform a matinee this afternoon for the benefit of the local Boy Scouts Council. Then, tomorrow, I'll be doing yet another benefit performance. This time to help out a senior citizens center. And, I was kind of hoping that you might consent to serving as my assistant for either one, or the other, or both of the afternoon shows.

"Look, if you can't, you can't. That's perfectly okay with me. I mean, as you well know, I can always whip up a lovely assistant should I need one. I just thought that, since we seem to work well together on stage, it would be kind of nice were you to lend me a hand again."

"You need say no more. I'd be more happy to do it," Nicole beamed earnestly.

"Good. I kind of thought you would.

"Now, both shows are scheduled to start at two, but I need you there by one. Is that going to present a problem for you?"

"No. John will make sure I'm there on time, won't you, John?"

"Sure... No problem...I'll have her there on time all right."

"Hey!" Nikki excitedly exclaimed. "You aren't leaving town until sometime Thursday morning, right?"

It was the magician's turn to respond tentatively. "Yes...that's correct."

"That means you've got a performance scheduled every night through Wednesday?"

"Yes..."

"Well, I was wondering if you could use an assistant for those performances as well? Or, would you prefer picking some poor schmuck out of the audience and shoving a little femininity up his ass, you know, much like you did with me?"

"Am I to take it that you're volunteering your services?"

"Sure, why the hell not? I mean, while I must admit that the sexual switcheroo business threw me for a loop at first, once I got into the swing of things, I've got to admit: I had a blast being up there on the stage with you.

"Besides, how often does a good, God fearing girl like me get to prance around in public, wearing something as downright sexy as that skimpy outfit you had me trussed up in?"

"Oh! So, I take it you rather enjoyed flaunting those new wares of yours like that?"

Pointedly, Nikki shot back, "Don't you?"

"Yeah..." Magatrix found herself forced to admit. "I guess I kind of do, at that. However, just so you're not disappointed, when we do these matinees, I'm going to have to dress us a little more sedately than I did last night, owing to the makeup of the audiences to whom we'll be performing.

"After all, we don't want to be accused of, one, being responsible for giving a lot Boy Scouts hard-ons; or two, causing a lot of dirty old men to have heart attacks.

"Now, is that going to be a problem for you if we both dress a tad bit more conservatively than we did last night?"

"No. Not as long as you don't have a problem with me pouting on stage."

"Boy! I think I've gone and created me a monster!"

"Yeah!" John, not to be left completely out of the conversation, added. "I do believe you did, at that... But, you've got to admit that she is one sexy she-beast, if ever there was one!"

"John!" Nikki, not to be left out of the fun, playfully bristled. "How can you say something like that about your wife to be?"

"Easy! After all, it's the truth, isn't it?"

Nikki got all thoughtful looking. "Yes...I guess it is, at that..."

"Hey!" John brightened as he looked toward Magatrix. "You know something, Nikki? It just struck me that you're not the only one at this table who seems to take an inordinate amount of pleasure out of being a girl! Though she hides it pretty well, every now and again our Magatrix here will say something that most of the girls I know would never think of saying. In fact, now that I think about it, though that feminine voice of yours tends to mask it, as far as I'm concerned, you seem to have a tendency to talk a whole lot more like a guy does, than a girl."

Piping up, Nikki thoughtfully added, "You know something, John? You're right. As strange as this is going to sound, I was just sitting here thinking pretty much the same thing that you were. The only difference being: I didn't want to mention it."

Reasserting himself, John came right out and asked the magician what was on his mind. "So, Magatrix, do you perhaps have something that you'd like to tell us? Or, should Nikki and I just assume that you weren't always the woman you appear to be now?"

"My, my, I must say that the two of you are very perceptive. Would you believe that you're the first two people who have ever picked up on that, shall we say, rather telling idiosyncrasy of mine? Oh, and lest I forget to mention this, since most women do tend to use a slightly different vocabulary than their male counterparts, you're going to have to be aware of your choice of words. That's to say that it's something that you need to be aware of, Nicole. Otherwise, someday somebody might pick up on the fact that you talk more like a guy than a girl and, though the likelihood of something such as that happening isn't all that great, it could conceivable cause you some trouble.

"But, getting back to what I was saying, you guys got me dead to rights. That's to say, I wasn't always the woman I am now."

"So," a curious John urged, "how did it happen? Did somebody turn you into a girl, much the same way you turned my curmudgeonly old pal here into this absolute gorgeous new girlfriend of mine?"

"No! Nobody did this to me. Would you believe I actually went and did it to myself?"

"Why?" John's curiosity was piqued. "I mean, did you want to be a woman?"

"No... not really... Basically, I guess you could say that what I wanted to be was a real wizard class magician, and not some pretend magician want-to-be, who employs slight-of-hand techniques, and various forms of illusion to dazzle, mystify and thereby entertain the easily bamboozled.

"You see, ever since I was a kid, I've been enamored with magic. And, just so you know, when I say magic, I'm not talking about the kind of stage magic you're used to seeing. Now, that's not to say that I don't like stage magic, because I do. I really enjoy it a lot. However, what I'm talking about here is real magic, the kind of magic that directly impacts on the natural order of things, the kind of magic that allowed me to transform you into a girl, among other things, Nicole.

"Look! The two of you need to understand something here. You see, there's magic, and then there's magic. In other words, when you come right down to it, though there are those who would quibble with this assertion of mine, basically I tend to feel that there are two distinct kinds of magic, and therefore, two distinct kinds of magical practitioners. Oddly enough, both forms of magic can be employed to achieve pretty much the same sort of results.

"Now, the first type of magic of which I speak is based on the creation of spells and the charging of various magical artifacts through the painstaking and time consuming adherence to certain exacting and intricate rituals, rituals that generally are seasoned well with a plethora of arcane incantations. As one might expect, though the rituals themselves have become closely guarded secrets, passed down grudgingly from one generation to the next, this form of ritualistic derived metaphysical manipulation is the most commonly practiced form of magic.

"This then is the category into which most real - and, I stress the word 'real' - witches, warlocks, shamans, witch doctors, and their ilk fall.

"Now, though I know I don't have to tell you guys this, most of the people who claim to be able to use magic, can't. In other words, there are a hell of lot of fakers and self-deluded frauds out there who, being kind, are nothing more than charlatans and magic user want-to-bes.

"And, that brings us to the other form of magic.

"Again, let me just say that both types of magic can achieve pretty much the same results. For example, Nicole, I could have just as easily changed you into a girl by using a magical potent, artifact or perhaps a magical spell. However, I used none of those methods. Instead, I used nothing other than the conscious flexing of my will. First, I used my mind to gain access to magic's metaphysical wherewithal. Then, with a mere flexing of my will, I focused that metaphysical potential in such a way as to cause you to undergo an all-encompassing and instantaneous male to female transsexualization. And, in an accompanying, albeit complimentary endeavor, I also caused the male styled clothing that you were wearing at the time to reconfigure itself into something that better suited your new lot in life as the sexy-assed little dick-teaser into which I was in the process of turning you.

"Now that I've defined and differentiated between the two types of 'real' magic that do indeed exist, how 'bout I give the two of you a brief rundown on how I ended up becoming a woman in the first place? All right?"

"As a small child, I was enamored with fairy tales, or, more specifically, I was enamored with fairy tales that had a decidedly magical aspect to them. To this day, my Mom loves telling me about how I was always walking around in my bathrobe, pretending that I was a mighty wizard.

"Do you know how some kids have invisible friends? Well, would you believe that I had an invisible dragon? His name was Smokey the Dragon, and I was adamant about how he liked to sleep out in our in the back yard, wedged in between my father's tool shed and this large oak tree, whenever he wasn't curled up under my bed, catching a couple of Z's with our cat Fluffy.

"Well, anyhow, when I was six years old, as one of my Christmas presents that year, my parents gave me a boxed set of assorted magic tricks, and that, as they say, was that! I was hooked. From that day forward, when anybody would ever ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didn't hesitate. Nor, did I even once equivocate. I told them flat out that I wanted to be a magician.

"And, let me tell you something! Once I made up my mind that I wanted to be a magician, I never once wavered from my goal. That's to say, I started practicing until I not only learned, but had pretty much mastered ever single one of the tricks in that first of many boxed sets of magical paraphernalia that my parents gave me.

"Now, when it comes to me and my becoming a magician, I have to give my parents a hell of a lot of credit. I mean to tell you. They gave all the encouragement and support I needed to further my interest. When and wherever possible, they helped me develop my skills, especially my slight-of-hand techniques. Basically, when you come right down to it, you could say that they were my first audience. I was performing for them all the time. And, would you believe that my father, who worked as a draftsman and was always designing a bunch of innovated shit for use around the house, started designing and building me even more elaborate illusions than I could ever afford to purchase with my weekly allowance. My mother, not to be upstaged by my father, started making me various stage costumes. They also scoured the local bookstores for any books that even remotely dealt with the subject of stage magic. It wasn't long before I had a whole bookshelf devoted to the subject of stage magic and magical tricks.

"My audience soon expanded to take in my relatives. Whenever there was a family get-together, save for the sad occasions when we all gathered at a funeral parlor to mourn the passing of a loved one, my parents encouraged me to perform my latest acts of prestidigitation. My Uncle Earl was absolutely fascinated by all the card tricks I knew, and was always having me teach him a few, damn near every time he saw me.

"When I was ten, my fifth grade teacher somehow got wind of my magical talents and had me put on a little show one afternoon for the rest of the class. The principal saw it, liked it, and the next thing I know, I'm being coerced into doing a performance for my whole elementary school.

"And, I guess it all just sort of snowballed from there. After that, I started giving performances at schools all over the area. Then, someone at one of the local television stations contacted my Mom and asked if they could feature me on their local catch as catch can morning talk and information show, you know, that pretty much runs the whole gambit of subjects, from news to weather, from traffic to sports. And, I guess you could say, that appearance pretty much gave that budding career of mine a real kick in the ass.

"I mean to tell you, after I appeared on that show, my services were in real demand. Over the next few years, I guess I performed at almost every sort of function imaginable, and no doubt some that you would never ever think of as wanting a magician to be part of their program. Basically, all things considered, I'd have to say that birthday parities were my mainstay. But, during the same time period, I also did a whole shitload of church sponsored pancake suppers. I performed at Bar Mitzvah parties, Bat Mitzvah parties, Confirmation parties, Holy Communion parties, Baptism parities, baby showers, wedding showers, wedding receptions, prom parties, retirement parties, and the like, just to name a few. I also appeared at company picnics, and a fair amount of Christmas parties.

"And, then there were all those charity benefits at which I was asked to perform...

 

*****

 

"Now, I want you both to understand something here, even though I was busy laying the groundwork for a lifetime career as a stage magician, I never once gave up my childhood dreams of becoming a real live, walking, talking magic user. That's to say that my underlying goal throughout all of this was to become a 'real' magic wielding magician.

"I mean to tell you, I read everything - and, I do mean everything! - I could lay my hands on that in any way dealt with anything of a magical nature. Now, I'll grant you, a lot of the stuff I read dealt with the occult, which meant that over the years, I have perused a lot of material that was of a satanic nature. However, though I did read a lot of crap that reeked of Satanism, rest assured, I never once bought into it.

"Look! The two of you need to understand something here. Magic isn't evil. Nor, I should point out, is it good. Magic just is, in that it exists, and that's the be all and end all of it.

"Now, what I can tell you is, magic is nothing more than, shall we say, an unorthodox method used to venture outside of the natural order of things as a means to achieve some sort of desired end. In other words, magic is neither good nor bad. Or, to put that another way, there is neither black magic nor, I should add, white magic. However, magic can be employed by evil people wishing to do evil deeds. But, here again, the converse is also true. Magic, when wielded by a person with God's goodness in their heart, can bring about wondrous things. I mean, think about it! Aren't miracles nothing more than magic used in a righteous cause? At least, for my money they are..."

 

*****

 

"So anyhow, getting back to the business at hand, it was during my sophomore year in high school when I conjured up my first real spell. And, I've got to tell you, as spells come and go, it wasn't anything to write home about. You see, all this first spell of mine did was to cause somebody to pass gas, you know, pass gas, as in fart.

"Oh! And, I guess I should mention that, like most spells, it was basically a one shot deal. I mean, after I learned it, for the next couple of weeks or so, I'd rush home from school so I could get my homework out of the way. Then, I'd grab a quick bit to eat so that I could spend the rest of the evening sequestered in my room, reformulating, or you might say, recasting that very same spell so that I could use it again the next day.

"I mean to tell you, were it not for the fact that I gained a lot of firsthand knowledge about the 'ins' and 'outs' of spell casting, the results I got out of conjuring up that fart spell of mine didn't come even close to justifying all the effort I put into it. I mean, I would literally spend hours up in my bedroom, for what? A few fleeting minutes worth of enjoyment when I let her ripe?

"But, all in all it was worth it. Oh, yeah... it most certainly was...

"As you two can probably imagine, I started with my teachers. And, you'd best believe I eventually got around to getting every one of them at least once. No! That's not true! Let me rescind that! The truth of the matter is, I got every one of them but Mr. Krapp, my geometry teacher. Ironic, isn't it? I mean, with a name like Krapp, you'd think he'd have been one of my first targets. But, he wasn't. And, do you want to know why he wasn't?

"Well, I'll tell ya! As far as I was concerned, Mr. Krapp was one of the good guys. I mean, there's guys you mess with, and guys you don't. And, Mr. Krapp just happened to fall into the guys you don't mess with category. Oh! But, have no fear. I got a few of those pompous assholes that made my life miserable real good. I mean to tell you, I really embarrassed the hell out of few of them.

"There was this one time I recall when the whole school was in the gym for an afternoon assembly. Well, when the vice-principle, who functioned as the school's much hated and equally feared disciplinarian stepped up to the microphone to read us the riot act or some other such nonsense of his, I triggered the fart spell, and boy did it rip. I mean, when it let loose, it just kept a comin' and a comin'!

"Now, I've got to tell you that I've heard some really protracted farts in my days, but this one had to have been not only the longest, but one of the most pungent ones I've ever had the misfortune of being in the presence of. Succinctly put, it stank to High Heavens! That's how obnoxious it was! I mean, my class was seated at the far end of the gym, and I was all the way up in one of the rearmost rows, and damn if that fart didn't have even me gagging away to beat the band!

"So anyhow, once I got tired of making people fart at inappropriate times, I managed to scrape together another of what I now think of as one of my prankster spells. Actually, I've got to tell you that, given its diabolical nature, I'm rather proud of this particular spell of mine. And, while we're on the subject, I also should point out the fact that I got a hell of lot of mileage out of it as well.

"Basically, the spell started out as way to embarrass the hell out of some of the guys that really pissed me off. You see, the way this spell worked was a real hoot! First, it made the poor SOB I used it on hornier than hell. Which, as the two of you might suspect, resulted in them getting a real first class boner, and that's boner, as in a very noticeable, seam straining, crotch-rocket of a hard-on. Then, once that blood engorged male member of theirs had risen to the occasion, things moved up to the next plateau as it became, 'Look, ma! No Hands!' time. As you can well expect, it was only a matter of moments before they ended up with a real mess on their hands, not to mention, all over their lower abdomens."

"Then, one day, I was sitting in detention, thinking how much I'd like to get into Tara Fisher's panties, when, all of a sudden, it hit me. All it would take would be a little nip here, and an insignificant tuck there, and I'd be able to use that horniness spell of mine to turn an introverted wallflower into a free spirited nymphomaniac, who was ready to jump on a boy the way a dog jumps on a bone.

"And, guess what? That spell of mine worked like a charm! The next day I had Tara Fisher doing a first rate imitation of the character Meg Ryan played in the movie 'When Harry Met Sally' in that infamous restaurant scene. As I recall, Tara Fisher got suspended for the rest of the year after that spell of mine turned her into a wanton hussy right smack dab in the middle of our English Lit Class.

"Two days after that, if my memory serves me right, I got my Social Studies teacher, a prude named Miss Wainright, back for that C-minus she gave on a report on which I had worked my ass off. And, just so you know, in all honesty, that report I did should have earned me at the very least, an A-minus. Basically, that bitch gave me a C-minus just because I was one, a boy; and two, a wisenheimer, you know, wisenheimer, as in class clown.

"Well, let me tell you, I got her back in spades when I unleashed that admittedly diabolical and extremely dehumanizing sex-crazed nymphomaniac spell of mine on her! I mean, one minute that bitch Wainright was writing something or other up on the blackboard. The next, she was playing a frenzied game of grab-ass with herself as she spastically beat-feet out of her classroom, whereupon reaching the hallway, she made a beeline for the nearest little girls' room.

"Okay! I'll grant you that what I did was not only way out of line, in that it was wrong. It's also a given that I never should have done something like that to anyone, especially to one of my teachers, even if it was a teacher I didn't like. But, as wrong as it was for me to do something such as that, I've got to tell you that I, along with the rest of my class, ended up laughing our asses off. That's to say that the whole class got a charge out of seeing that ball-busting bitch playing a crass and shameless game of titty-tweak with those rather generous bazookas of hers.

"However, the next day when we were informed that Miss Wainright had taken a leave-of-absence, and that a substitute would be filling in for her to finish out the year, I came to the stark realization that I had perhaps gone a bit to far. Whereupon, realizing that, I resolved to both curtail and tone down most of my magical tomfoolery.

"In other words, upon the realization that things were beginning to get a little out of hand, I resolved to cease and desist for the most part. Much like Star Wars' Luke Skywalker, I resisted the lure of the Dark Side. Magic, I knew, was nothing to trifle with. If used incorrectly, or even frivolously, it could do a great deal of damage.

"Luckily, what I did to Miss Wainright that day had a positive result. As I later learned upon returning to school the following fall, that little bout of horniness of hers somehow changed her whole outlook on life. Having been raised a good Catholic, she had bought into all the propaganda that the nuns had spewed out about how sex was something that a girl had to endure, but in no way enjoy. In other words, Miss Wainright had been painstakingly taught that a righteous, God fearing woman was also a frigid woman. And, like almost everything that the nuns had taught her, Mary Grace Wainright accepted what she had been taught without ever so much as questioning its validity.

"However, owing to that horniness spell of mine, Miss Wainright learned an invaluable lesson, with that lesson being, sex could be a hell of a lot of fun, in that it was an extremely pleasurable pursuit. And, as I understand it, pursue it she did. She went out and got a whole new wardrobe. She even had her hair styled and started wearing makeup. I mean to tell you that when I saw her in school the following fall, I didn't recognize her at first. I mean, that's how good she looked. Her attitude, as I understand it, had also done a one eighty.

"Prior to that year, Wainright had earned a reputation for being one of those teachers that you hoped you'd never get. That's to say that she was characterized as a bitch who took sadistic pleasure in making her students' lives miserable. However, that all changed. By all accounts, her students loved her. That's to say that whenever I took the opportunity to poll any of the students during the first few weeks of that fall semester, I was dutifully informed that they where all pleasantly surprised, in that they all told me that couldn't have asked for a better teacher.

"So, I guess you could say, in a roundabout manner of speaking, I did good. That spell of mine worked like a charm. In effect, it took a woman who was pretty far down the path to one-day becoming a cynical old spinster with an embittered heart, and changed her into a vivacious young woman who found that she was hopelessly in love with life.

"Oh! I have to confess that I couldn't resist the urge to jump in and lend a hand in helping Wainright complete the transition she was already in the process of making. I guess when you come right down to it, you could say that I felt the need to atone for what I did to her the year before. But regardless of all of that, what I did was to whip up another spell to use on her. However, this one had no malicious intent whatsoever.

"You see, while the new clothing, and the new hairstyle, and the makeup did make Mary Wainright look a lot more attractive than the dowdy way she used to look, I just figured that a few magical enhancements wouldn't hurt.

"So, what I did was, I concocted a spell that would, over the course of a year, incrementally turn her into a truly beautiful, and that's beautiful as in ravishing, young woman. And, I must say, that spell of mine worked like a charm. Well before that beautification spell had reached its culmination point, Mary Wainright giddily announced to her homeroom class that had accepted Mr. Krapp's proposal of marriage, and would wed him that June, the weekend after school closed for the summer.

"Would you believe, the last time I checked, they're still together, and she's the mother of three children of her own?

 

*****

 

"Okay. That's quite enough of that! The restaurant is starting to get crowded, and a few of the waitresses have begun giving us the hairy eyeball. So, what say I get back to telling you about me, and how I came to be a first class magic user in my own right, so that the three of us can get the hell out of here.

"Oh! And, by first class magic user, what I mean to say is that my overall goal was to be able to affect the natural order of things through the willful use of my mind's eye alone. In others words, I wanted to become a real live, walking, talking, modern day wizard. While I had already made up my mind that I wanted to earn my living as a stage magician, what I wanted to do was to be able to do something that no other stage magician was doing.

"That's to say that I wanted to eventually incorporate real magic into my act, and thereby do stuff no other magician was capable of doing."

"You mean, like turning me into a girl and then later on, into a Barbie Doll sized fairy?" Nicole inquired.

"Exactly!" Magatrix jubilantly replied. "I mean, damn near every magician I know has at one time or another gone with some sort of variation of the classic saw-a-woman-in-half illusion. But, have you ever seen anyone have their bottom half dance around the stage, while the top half circles, Ferris wheel like, through a hovering hula-hoop, the way that I had those ever so attractive body parts of yours doing last night?

"No! You bet you ass you haven't! And, you're not going to! "And, do you know why you're not going to see anything like that? Well, I'll tell ya'! You're not going to see anyone else perform that trick, especially on a circular, or in my particular case, octagonal stage, with the audience completely surrounding them like I do, because they can't. And, do you know why they can't?

"Unlike me, they're all just a bunch of illusionist! Good ones, I'll grant you! But, nevertheless, they're not magic users! They're only pretend magic users!

"Now, I don't want the two of you getting the wrong idea here! That's to say that I don't want you to think that I'm in any way, shape or form trying to knock my fellow stage magicians, or impugn on their artistic abilities, because, take it from me, I'm not! While I'll admit that some of their personalities tend to grate on mine from time to time, and there are a few of them that I just can't stand, most of them are superb performers in their own right.

"What I'm trying to get across is, while I liked being a stage magician, I knew I would never be fully satisfied with creating the illusion of magic. Right from the get-go, my goal was to be able to actually perform genuine metaphysical manipulation, you know, metaphysical manipulation, as in real magic, on stage.

"Hell! While I know how crazy this is going to sound, would you believe that I never once gave a rat's ass if anyone in the audience ever believed that what I was doing was actually real magic? As long as I knew that I was doing real magic, that was all that mattered to me.

"Now, I'll grant you I could have used spells to achieve what I set out to achieve. And, just so you know, I did at first. In fact, I did exactly that for many a year. But, I've got to tell you that using spells is a rather time consuming endeavor, in that I was forced to constantly reformulate them. Plus, in doing so, it took a lot of time away from all the research I was attempting to do into how to become a real first class magic user.

"Notice I didn't slip up and say 'wizard' that time? And, do you know why I didn't? Well, I'll tell you. The reason I didn't say wizard, or warlock, or sorcerer, or enchanter is because, as the two of you will soon come to realize, there just aren't any. They simply don't exist. On the other hand, witches, or, if you're into semantics, sorceresses and enchantresses do.

"You see, only women, who weren't born women, have the ability to channel magic directly.

"That's right! That's what I'm saying! Only men who are magically transformed into women have the necessary mental wherewithal to become first rate magic users.

"Oh! And, just so the two of you know, it took me years of painstaking research to come up with that elusive little gem of information. And, for toppers, it isn't actually spelled out anywhere in all the various arcane texts I perused. Basically, all I ever found were very cryptic, to be almost incomprehensible, allusions that tended to suggest that a sexual, male to female transcendence might be the required right of passage an individual needed in order to become a first class magic user.

"Now, while this isn't exactly germane to what we're talking about, I'll bet that the two of you will never guess where I did most of the research that lead me to come up with the conclusion that if I wished to become a first class magic user, I would have to become a woman. Would the two believe that I was at Vatican City when I found the most convincing piece of evidence that I was indeed on the right track?

"Now, a lot of people are unaware of this, but the Vatican is the largest repository in the world for matters that deal with Satanism in particular, and the occult in general. And, do you know why that is?

"Well, I'll tell you.

"Basically, the reason the Catholic Church has amassed all that information is due to the time tested tenets of 'Know Thy Enemy' and 'Forearmed is Forewarned.' I mean, it stands to reason that if you're going to have to fight Satin and all his works, it sure helps to have his playbook.

"Now, I bet that the two of you are wondering how I, as a non-religious layperson, gained access to that treasure trove of research material. Well, let's just say that in my other life, you know, the one in which I was man, I guess it's fair to say that in a manner of speaking, I sort of lived a double life.

"You see, not only was I fairly successful stage magician, but I guess you could say that I had also secured for myself a comfortable niche in the publish or perish world of academia. In other words, as the man I used to be, I had more doctorates than you could shake a stick at.

"Well, let's see if I can remember them all. Okay! The male me that I used to be had doctorate degrees in following academic disciplines: theology, archeology, anthropology, and psychology. And, just to add insult to injury, a few years before I opted out of the manhood gig altogether, I added a doctor's degree in the History of Western Civilization to the list.

"Oh! And, just so you know, the former male me managed to acquire a whole shitload of Master's degrees as well. I have, or I should say, the man I used to be had a Master's degree in Greek, Latin, and Arabic. Plus, somewhere along the line, I found time to pick up a Master's degree in Comparative Religions. Actually, now that I think about it, I was a little more than halfway through writing my doctorate thesis in Comparative Religions when I said the hell with it, and took the plunge into womanhood that resulted in my gaining the metaphysical wherewithal that allowed me to become the first class magic user that I am today.

"Basically, it was that thesis in Comparative Religions, coupled with all those academic achievements of mine which, after some haggling, and the direct intervention of a Cardinal I had done some favors for, eventually gained me supervised access to the documentation that I so dearly wanted to examine.

"Well, anyhow... Though I can't prove a damn thing - Guess what! - it's my contention that they - whomever in the hell they are! - went and got it all wrong, in so far as Adam and Eve are concerned. Or, you might go so far as to say that they got it sort of back-ass-wards.

  

  

  

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